NationStates Jolt Archive

Welcome to the Twelfth Edition of Don Cherry Cup NationStates Ice Hockey, hosted for the second time in scenic, beautiful, not-at-all-torn-by-violent seperatist-movements Iansisle.

Iansislean Director for Sports, Games, and Recreation Sir Gregory Penns-McCormick has just announced the group draw and schedules:

Torpedo System Division

1) Robotopolis Synthos -- 1
2) Hockey Canada Flyers -- 7
3) South Osettia -- 8
4) Inbreedia Gray Ghosts -- 19
5) Druida Lightning -- 20
6) Formal Dances Waltzers -- 23
7) Fmjphoenix Blades -- 25

Belarus Division

1) Tanah Burung Cassowaries -- 2
2) Squornshelous Ferrets -- 9
3) Iansisle Gulls -- 12
4) Oliverry -- 13
5) Euroslavia Phantoms -- 16
6) Hisam -- 22
7) Krytenia Aces -- 35

Foppa Faux Pas Division

1) Fimble loving peoples -- 3
2) Very Angry Rabbits -- 6
3) Kalaallit Nunaat Iceberg -- 11
4) Lovisa Polish Bisons -- 15
5) Kericia Seagulls -- 17
6) Corneliu Penguins -- 21
7) Pablicosta Phoenix -- 35

Lidas Lethargy Division

1) Vilita Ice Cats -- 4
2) Starblaydia Rayzors -- 5
3) Harlesburg Blades -- 10
4) Liverpool England Ice Terminators -- 14
5) Chicanada Kodiaks -- 18
6) Tonissia Ice Comets -- 24
7) Cognative Superios Maple Syrups -- 35

Schedules will be released tomorrow, with the first game to be played soon thereafter. The top three teams in each division plus the next best four teams make the knockout round. There will be one game against each opponent for a total of six games in the group phase.

Awards will be given after the third game day and the seventh game day. Point ties will be resolved on the Chicanada system. In-game draws will go to a single four-goal shootout; during the knockout phases, additional shootout phases will be added as needed.

Any questions, complaints, or comments about the Cherry Cup or Iansislean hygienic practices can be sent to Sir Gregory care of me, the player behind Iansisle. :)

OOC: You should be able to attach a poll under "Thread Options".

Awesome. LE is the Official Cherry Cup Winner™! (um, until play starts, that is ;))

"Die, zombie brain-sucking scum, die!"

"When you're done with your video game, perhaps we can discuss the up and coming Cherry Cup."

"What? Oh yes, the thing where we always get past the group stage only to lose to a team ranked below us in the next round."

"That's the one."

"What about the up and coming Cherry Cup?"

"Well...it's up and coming, for a start."

"What, already!?! These come around faster than a tortoise on a roundabout being pushed by a second tortoise."

"I would think most things were...never mind. Anyway, the group draw has been completed."

"And?"

"Do you want the good news or the bad news first?"

"Ooh, bad please."

"We were drawn with current champions Robotopolis and current annoyance Hockey Canada. They're both ranked above us."

"Well that's not so bad. How about the good news?"

"Do you want the good news part one or the good news part two?"

"Hmm...tough one...I think we'll have good news part two first."

"Okay, do you want good news part two section one or good news part two section two?"

"...just tell me the good news."

"Fine. First, we were also drawn with Inbreedia, Druida, Formal Dances and Fmjphoenix. We're ranked well above them. Second, it's the top three in each group that go through, so we should be fine on that point, and third, our ranking went up to eighth."

"Really? How did that happen?"

"Maybe someone didn't sign up in time."

"Interesting. So do you think we'll get past the second round this time?"

"Only if people like us."

"Do people like us?"

"I'll order a poll."

Several hours later

"I've got the poll results. 85% of people hate us, and 14% put the phone down before we could ask them."

"Damn. Should we start preparations for the next tournament?"

"I think that would be wise."

Sister Hale Maria today announced that the Tanah Burung line-up woudl eb unchanged from the side that finished second in the last Cup. Just as well, since the Belarus division contains tough competition in the form of three former Cherry Cup champions including the host country. Oh, and Squornshelous as well.

She has requested a separate hotel for Tarantula, who really wouldn't want to get hungry overnight and eat any of the opposing players. She has also requested permission to construct prayer wheels in order to pray for "not just us, for the general good!"

Meanwhile, a message is dispatched through underworld channels:

From: Mau Slurp, general proprietor, Mau Slurp's House of Gambling
To: Reigning monarch and head of state, Mau Slurpian United Kingdom of Iansisle
Re: your previous bets

Your Majesty,

What do you say to double or nothing?

Kisses,
Slurp

The Great Prophet Zarquon put aside a detailed satellite map of the Eastern Pacific Ocean and looked up at his Minister of Athletics.
"What's that you said?"

"The Cherry Cup hosts have finally been announced."

"What does that matter to me, we weren't bidding were we?"

"No, Iansisle have been selected."

"Why does that name ring a bell?"

"Iansisle also hosted Cherry Cup 8 Sir."

"Cherry Cup 8?!! That monstrosity of horribleness?! I thought that Iansisle were banned from ever hosting again."

"We tried sir, but the rest of the world's hockey nations didn't agree."

"This is outrageous! We're going to have to resort to drastic measures here, I wan't military escorts keeping our players safe at all times, and I want to purchase everything produced by the Stout Lout Brewing Company during the tournament."

"Are you sure sir?"

"Yes, and I want to make sure every bit of it ends up in other teams hotels and locker rooms."

"Ok sir, but aside from the Starblaydian side, that isnt' guarunteed to work."

"It's a start."

"Yes sir."

As the Minister turned to walk out of the room, Zarquon spoke again. "You know I wasn't serious about buying everything Stout Lout makes."

"Oh. . ."

"Half of it will be quite sufficient."

OOC: If you're wondering why Zarquon is so pissed off, the last time Iansisle hosted the Cherry Cup, Squornshelous was seeded third, and finished third from last.

One quote was released after Flyers player Bobby Clarke's plave crashed into an Iansisle Arena:

Dang

Hockey Canada promises more blood.

This Cherry Cup, Hockey Canada promises to hurt more and more teams. Upon doing this, they've generously brought free blood-packs for teasm that will need it to compensate for loss of blood on the ice. The blood will be exchanged... if Hockey Canada wins, the team gets the blood. Is they lose, the red lines in Hockey Canada will be refreshed.

We also send our team from last year. With the exception of Bobby Clarke who was killed when his plane crashed into an Iansisle arena.

DUDE CANADA SUCKS

please,Sweden can nuke Canada Like That *snaps fingers*

Vilitans Cheer at Return to Iansisle

The Vilitans Cheered as they learned that Cherry Cup XII would return to Iansile, the site of the Cup that got Vilitan's encaptures in the sport of Hockey. Prior to the last cup that was held in Iansisle, the Vilitans took little notice of their Hockey Sport results. But alas, they return to the lands of Ian, and have been drawn once again with arch rivals Starblaydia.

While the Antiparticulates did not need worry about Health Care fears that arose when it was not clear the games would be in Iansisle, we now know that all is well. We do not however know what that sentance meant.

DUDE CANADA SUCKS

please,Sweden can nuke Canada Like That *snaps fingers*

Then you wake up with sheets white and crusty

ChicanadaSun
Yay gossipy Goodness!

Jaquee Peeved As Kodiaks Head To Iansisle

EASTENTOWN - Just as Chicanada's most interesting Cherry Cup experience comes to a close, it's reported that CHL Board Of Regent Jaquee Moriseete has been invited to attend all upcomming Chicanada matches in Cherry Cup XII and has gladly accpeted. As we all know, Jaquee is still irked that manslaughter, civilian injuries that she didn't cause (and she's still sending lovely fruit baskets to Druida thankyouverymuch) as well as some bizarre officiating kept her from completing her dream of capturing a Very Angry Rabbit.

"Of course it is a pleasure to join the official delegation from Chicanada and we look forward to seeing our Kodiaks continue to improve (since the Kubs went from nil wins to three and yet still could only manage a 20th place ranking). We hope to also see other teams as we are looking at metting with Sister Hale Maria of Tanah Burung concering possible future openings in the CHL Coaching roster and other things," she drolled on about at a press conference where Marianne Ljubian, coach of the A-League Saint Croix Goalese, announced that the entire roster for CCX and CCXI would be maintained under her leadership.

When asked about her interests in "rararas" Jaquee did the trademark face she does so well and spent a good five hours describing each VAR player she saw on tape in great and utterly boring (except to her and any VAR reps in disguise) detail.

Meanwhile, Page4 Girl Bipsykins, fresh off a shoot with CFF-leading Douala, has this to say about Chicanada's chances of advancing:

Lidas Lethargy Division

Chicanada Kodiaks
Cognative Superios Maple Syrups
Harlesburg Blades
Liverpool England Ice Terminators
Starblaydia Rayzors
Tonissia Ice Comets
Vilita Ice Cats

Bipsy: ooh, this sucks, yo! Like, more than I like to suck it does. Can we pencil Vilita, Starblaydia and Beetlemanialand in already? Maybe we can sneak in if we can win or bribe someone or whateve, but damn that sucks!

In other, more enlightened news, the Special Edition Sister Hale Maria edition of the ChicanadaSun was the highest sellin issue of the Sun in the history of the rag. Apparently all Chicanadans need some tough love from a coach in a habit to get us all hot and bothered. Also, we're proud to report our very own Jaquee was considered the hottest one in some poll held by Kalaalit Nunaat during CCXII bidding, beating out Queen Susan and some Rararas in the process. Congrats to you, you foxy and yet crazy lady!

((ooc: Sorry about the delay, folks :(

If you notice any mistakes in the standings (not just math, spelling too; in Cherry Cup VIII, someone didn't tell me that I had been spelling their name incorrectly the entire time. I was very embarassed) or anything else, please let me know, either on this thread or by telegram. Remember, this is being played for your fun - I'm very open to suggestions and opinions. :)))

Schedule:
Day One: 1v3, 2v5, 6v4, 7 rest
Day Two: 5v6, 2v4, 1v7, 3 rest
Day Three: 1v2, 3v4, 6v7, 5 rest
Day Four: 5v1, 4v7, 3v6, 2 rest
Day Five: 2v7, 5v3, 1v6, 4 rest
Day Six: 4v1, 5v7, 2v3, 6 rest
Day Seven: 4v5, 6v2, 3v7, 1 rest

All games will be played in Iansisle without a homefield advantage. There is also no RP bonus. However, making a report is a good way to get your country into SPORTSBLURB!.

Robotopolis 5 - 4 South Osettia (Rob 4 - 3 SO in shootout)
Hockey Canada 1 - 3 Druida
Formal Dances 4 - 0 Inbreedia

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Formal Dances 1 1 0 0 0 4 0 2 +4
Druida 1 1 0 0 0 3 1 2 +2
Robotopolis 1 1 0 0 0 5 4 2 +1
South Osettia 1 0 1 0 1 4 5 1 -1
Fmjphoenix 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 +0
Hockey Canada 1 0 1 0 0 1 3 0 -2
Inbreedia 1 0 1 0 0 0 4 0 -4

Tanah Burung 5 - 1 Iansisle
Squornshelous 2 - 3 Euroslavia (Squorn 1 - 2 Euro in shootout)
Hisam 2 - 3 Oliverry

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Tanah Burung 1 1 0 0 0 5 1 2 +4
Oliverry 1 1 0 0 0 3 2 2 +1
Euroslavia 1 1 0 0 0 3 2 2 +1
Squornshelous 1 0 1 0 1 2 3 1 -1
Krytenia 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 +0
Hisam 1 0 1 0 0 2 3 0 -1
Iansisle 1 0 1 0 0 1 5 0 -4

Fimble loving peoples 2 - 1 Kalaallit Nunaat
Very Angry Rabbits 2 - 3 Kericia
Corneliu 5 - 5 Lovisa (Corn 4 - 4 Lov in shootout)

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Kericia 1 1 0 0 0 3 2 2 +1
Fimble loving peoples 1 1 0 0 0 2 1 2 +1
Lovisa 1 0 0 1 0 5 5 1 +0
Corneliu 1 0 0 1 0 5 5 1 +0
Pablicosta 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 +0
Very Angry Rabbits 1 0 1 0 0 2 3 0 -1
Kalaallit Nunaat 1 0 1 0 0 1 2 0 -1

Vilita 0 - 1 Harlesburg
Starblaydia 1 - 4 Chicanada
Tonissia 2 - 1 Liverpool England

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Chicanada 1 1 0 0 0 4 1 2 +3
Tonissia 1 1 0 0 0 2 1 2 +1
Harlesburg 1 1 0 0 0 1 0 2 +1
Cognative 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 +0
Liverpool England 1 0 1 0 0 1 2 0 -1
Vilita 1 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 -1
Starblaydia 1 0 1 0 0 1 4 0 -3

SPORTSBLURB!

Gulls destroyed by Cassowaries, fans riot in dismay ... Rayzors destroyed by Kodiaks, fans riot in celebration ... Liverpool England, Starblaydia, Iansisle, Kalaallit Nunaat, Vilita among veterans off to horrible start ... South Osettia nearly independent from Robots ... Mau Slurp's bet taken by HIM King James ... Jake 4 mocked throughout the land for being unable to recognize a joke ... Formal Dances, Tanah Burung, Kericia, Chicanada lead divisions ...

Tarantula's hat trick was enough to carry Tanah Burung to a win over the hosts by a crushing 5-1 margin. The Mau Slurpian Kingdom, already deeply in hock to a Burungi gambling maven, is off to a poor start. Mau Slurp refused to comment on a report he was attempting to force Iansisle to decolonize through a series of bad wagers.

Tarantula has really blossomed since the last Cup, when he intimidated the opposing players but produced little in the way of offence -- possibly because he kept falling down on the ice. "Wow," he would whistle. "It's slippery in here."

Intensive skating lessons since then have seen Tarantula become an offensive threat for the Cassowaries. He doesn't so much stickhandle, as shake a furry leg at anyone who tries to stop his headlong careeens down the ice. But the firewagon style seems to be off to a fine start.

"Hi," said Tarantula. "Whoosh! That was fun!"

Some time before the obviously-fixed match against Chicanada:

"We're going back!
We're going back!
We're going!
Rayzors going back!"

Some time after the obviously-fixed match against Chicanada

"What the fookin?
What the fookin?
What the fookin ell was that?
Whaaat the fookin ell was that?"

"At least we won the fi-ights!"


And now, for our feature presentation:

Finally! the Rayzors have come back to Iansisle!
Cherry Cup 8 Connection To Be Repeated?

The kit:
http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/CCKit.jpg

The team (same every time):
Coached by: Haztarr

1st Line:
Thror Honnhirrim C Electrickery Guild
Thorin Nibin (C) W Brewer's Team
Thrain Naugrim W Brewer's Team
Thingol Zaram D Electrickery Guild
Dimrill Barazinbar D Brewer's Team
Dagnir Tumunzahar G Mining Co-Operative Guild

Replacements:
Gromril Tamanubaz C BeardBraiders United
Floror Hemanguroth C Brewer's Team
Nebazarr Mahamhir (A)C Runic Guild
Haradin Azanulbizarn W Electrickery Guild
Thorion Ganuztar W Runic Guild
Gonotrill Harantzim W Mountain Mithrils
Banghiman Fortrekhir W Electrickery Guild
Thorin Hazbathim W Runic Guild
Gotrek Ramanzabar W Mining Co-Operative Guild
Fingon Nongortheb D Runic Guild
Danwedh Turgrim D Brewer's Team
Balak Fingorram D Engineering Union
Hagard Haztarr D BeardBraiders United
Nurri Temekrahin D Mining Co-Operative Guild
Grimcrag Torinzahar G Mining Co-Operative Guild

Rayzors All The Way, Baby!

"It looks like the Chicanada/Starblaydia game was fixed."

"Well of course it was fixed - how else would Starblaydia win all the time?"

"Starblaydia lost 4-1."

"Oh...never mind then. Say, does it say how we did in there?"

"It says...South Osettia nearly independent from Robots."

"...What the hell does that mean?"

"I don't know, but we lost 4-3 in the shootout, meaning they won 5-4 overall."

"So that's not good?"

"It could be worse. We got a point for an overtime loss."

"That's good. Now we've just got to beat those Hockey Canadians, and it's plain sailing for us."

"Er...I don't think it's going to be a case of 'just' beating - "

"Plain sailing for us."

"Sir, it's not going to be like tha-"

"Plain sailing for us!"

"Yes, of course, sir."

Loss to Druidia sickens Hockey Canadians. Better turn it around quickly against Inbreedia.

A plate smashes in the Hockey Canada dressing room after their loss to Druidia. Dave Semenko is crying because coach Toe Blake burned his poem after their loss.

"YOU LOST TO WHO???"

"Druidia." The team groans

"DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH DEEP S**T WE'RE IN IF WE DON'T BEAT INBREEDIA?"

"Deep s**t" The team replies groggily.

"W-w-what about mah poem?" Dave asks.

"You can make a new one after we beat Inbreedia, Dave."

"But I wanna make one now!"

"YOU'RE NOT MAKING THE POEM! YOU WIN I'LL LET YOU MAKE AS MANY POEMS AS YOUR LITTLE HEART DESIRES."

"Little heart desires... good line."

"What about Bobby Clarke?" Kyle Thomas asks.

"They havn't found his plane... but his charred remains were found."

"In the plane?" several players ask.

"Actually no. He was alive when he fell into a barbecue."

"That sucks."

"Uh huh, he was between burger buns before we landed." Coach Blake starts to cry. "It was horrible!"

Game Summary:

Hockey Canadians are hanging their heads after Kyle Thomas could only contribute once from a long pass from a mad Dave Semenko to end Druidia's shutout late in the 3rd to finish with a 3-1 loss. The Hockey Canadians are disgusted with the game and hope they'll do better against Inbreedia.

With this loss early in the tournement, Hockey Canada is bringing in their deadliest weapons... The Hanson Brothers.

Druida fan #1: "I hate it when they can't get our name right."

Druida fan #2: "Perhaps you should make a complaint about it."

Druida fan #1: "I mean look at the scoreboard! Who are DRUIDIA? We aren't in IANSAISLE, are we?"

Druida fan #2: "So go and tell them, then, if it bothers you that much!"

Druida fan #1: "Nah. We beat Hockey Canada! 3-1! Can you believe that! Our little team!"

Druida fan #2: "So I guess what's coming now..."

Druida fan #1: "I don't know whether I want to forget about the dodgy scoreboard or celebrate, but there's one way of covering both..."

Druida fan #2: "DRINK!"

Druida fan #1: "HOORAY FOR DRINK!"

"...lost?"

"Isn't that what I just said?"

"Watch it, Ruppert. King here."

"King, schming. You're my flippin' brother, with a pointy hat."

"I could have you arrested for treason."

"Mom wouldn't like that."

"Don't bring Mom into this! I'm the King, and you're just my little brother, "Ruppert the Incompetent". Live with it."

"You should hear what they call you."

"I should...what? What they call me? What do the call me? What?"

"Nevermind. You'd just get all mad, and have beheadings and like that."

"RUPPERT!"

"Look, can we stay on topic here, Your Hareness? We were talking about losing to Kericia."

"In the Fruit Cup?"

"Fruit Cup? Fruit cups we have with diner. The Cherry Cup is a hockey tournament."

"Oh, yeah - that team you came up with the ridiculous name for. What was it again? Snowshoe Bunnies?"

"...Artic Hares, brother. Artic Hares."

"Right. And you say they lost to someone called Karaoke? Isn't that..."

"Not Karaoke...Kericia. And yes, it was the first game of Cherry Cup XII, and they lost."

"Why?"

"Why?"

"Why?"

"Why did they lose?"

"Hello...Earth to Ruppert...earth to Ruppert...Come in, please..."

"Tres droll...they lost, brother dear, because you have Otto in a panic, he disappeared on...what is it you put out in the press release? Sabbatical?...and he hasn't shown back up."

"So...?"

"So - Otto's the guy who organizes all this. No Otto - no organization. About 3 days before the tournament started, Harvey gave me a call. Asked if we were in, or out. "Of what?" says I. "Of Cherry Cup twelve." says he. "Twelve? Is Eleven over?" says I. "TWELVE!" says he. "Umm...in. We're in. Aren't we?" says I. "Not if we don't get a team over there in the next 3 days." says he. "Good idea. Get right on that, Harv." says I. "Where's Otto?" says he. "Otto who?" says I. He hung up. But he did send about a dozen guys over there. Dunno for sure who they are. The down side is, we've racked up a loss. The up side is, it was only by one goal, and they did hold our place in the tournament."

"What?"

"I will not repeat that. Just scroll up, and read it again."

"Look - suppose I issue a proclamation that, in recognition of services rendered to the crown, Otto is to be knighted. Do ya think that'll get him back?"

"I'm sure it will. "Sir Otto Matic"...of what?"

"Of what? Wadday mean, of what?"

"In general, knights are "of" somewhere or something. It's what's done."

"Oh...well, then. How about "Sir Otto Matic of the Order of the Red Garter, Lord of the Upland Warrens". Will that do?"

"That should do 'er."

"Right - have someone put that out, then, Rup. I've a polo match this after. I'm off."

"Yes, you are a bit."

"What?"

"Yes, you're quite a hit."

"Watch it, Rup."

That afternoon, as The Old Grey Hare demonstrated exactly how to properly lose a polo match, the word went out - Otto Matic, Director of Operations for the Artic Hares, was to be knighted! "Sir Otto, Knight of the Red Garter, Lord of the Upland Warrens." Otto was with the team in Iansisle by midnight. By morning, a decent team roster was published. Now it's just a matter of waiting for 'em to show up.

INTRODUCING, FOR THE (umm, lessee...1, 2, 3, 4...) FOURTH TIME ANYWHERE ON INTERNATIONAL ICE (so, 3rd time was not the charm…we’re still confident…um…well…kinda… -

The Arctic Hares
Hockey Team from Very Angry Rabbits
Cherry Cup XII

Goalkeepers:
Carl Eichbaum #00 Normal Starting Goalkeeper
Jose Esposito #99 substitute

Defenders:
1st Defense
Randy Boeskitz #2
Jacov Immiwitz #4
2nd Defense
Piers Dornetski #12
Raphael Angelino #14
3rd Defense
Jann Stremm #22
Ian Sisle #24

Right Wingers:
Alphonse Sommers #30 – 1st line *
Danny Johnson #31 – 2nd line
Grigor Dennisovitch #32 - 3rd line
Gunter Toivel #33 – 4th line

Left Wingers:
Johan Schmidt #40 – 1st line
Ravik Tennkilsohn #41 – 2nd line @
Serg Mendelson #42 – 3rd line
Hans Brinker #43 – 4th line

Centers:
Heinz Funfzigger – 1st line
Pavel Reichs – 2nd line
Andreas Neuheimer – 3rd line
Robbi Richards – 4th line

* Captain
@ Alternate Captain

Director of Operations
Sir Otto Matic
Order of the Red Garter
Lord of the Upland Warrens

Druida fan #1: "I hate it when they can't get our name right."

Druida fan #2: "Perhaps you should make a complaint about it."

Druida fan #1: "I mean look at the scoreboard! Who are DRUIDIA? We aren't in IANSAISLE, are we?"

((ooc: Druida wins the "Fixing Ian's Boneheaded Mistakes A+ of the Day." Thanks for pointing that out, man - I hate making stupid typos, especially with regard to a nation's name. I think it has to do with being called 'Ianisle' so many times :)

On a similar topic, was there ever a nation called 'Druidia'? Or did that misspelling come straight out of left field?

To all the rest of you, please follow this example. If there's something that bugs you about how the Cherry Cup is being run/if I make a idiotic mistake/if you don't like my odor, please please please let me know and I'll do what I can to fix it.))

EDIT: for those who weren't with us in CCVIII, the next game day is tomorrow. Yes, I know it's slower than most, but that's how I like it. Smell the roses, take the dog on a walk, have a marathon of original Star Trek episodes: whatever it is you like to do with your spare time. :)

The Cognative Times

Syrups arrive for Cherry Cup XII

Today, a proud day for all Superios, marked the first ever international sporting event for the nation. The team, made up of highschool lacross players, figure skaters and several town brawlers arrived at the stadium in Iansisle four hours late for the start of the tournament. Fortunately the team was given a first day bye and was able unpenalized. The team settled in to watch the first few games and scout their opponents. "We can take these Chicanadiens with out even breaking a sweat." stated Ivan Renfred, overconfident defenseman and former wrestler. "The only way they can stop us is if we forget how to skate." The team is in constant connection with their serene leader Lord Harding, who is also the fater of starting Goaltender Matteo Harding. We will have constant updates on the events of the tournament as they come in and we wish our Syrups the best of luck.


The Cognative Superios Maple Syrups
Starting lineup

Goaltenders:
Matteo Harding #47 starter* left from Northern Loab, CS, 21
Hirohito Jones #2.314 backup left from Baneberry, CS, 18
Manny Tchintovski #42 backup/waterboy right from Ft. Klym, CS, 20

Defense:
Bob Jones #16 1st line@ left Bastrop, CS, 36
Michael Takigawa #22 1st line right Kingland, CS, 22
Euchileili McTavitch #23 2nd line left Queenland, CS, 23
Fiddle McTavitch #23 1/2 2nd line right Queenland, CS, 23
Otto Empire #84 3rd line left Bumptic, CS, 31
Ivan Renfred #92 3rd line right Minininini, CS, 24

Forwards:
Mitch Wiggans #90 1st line left Ft. Klym, CS, 34
Ben West #33 1st line right Mt. Bonneami, CS, 28
Mo Banter #88 2nd line right Northern Loab, CS, 24
Bo Manter #89 2nd line left Kingland, CS, 22
Wade Bluedden #77 3rd line right Minininini, CS, 17
George Bel #1 3rd line left Bonnenoche, CS, 27

Centers:
Bobby Foote #12 1st line@ right North Loab, CS, 30
Benny Esposito #13 2nd line right Bronson, CS, 35
Mellisa Desjardins #14 3rd line left Bigntown, CS, 22

Coach:
Teddy Nolan
Assistants:
Brently McDonald
Nathan McNaughton

On a similar topic, was there ever a nation called 'Druidia'? Or did that misspelling come straight out of left field?



Druidia was the home planet of Princess Vespa in Spaceballs

ChicanadaSun
Yay gossipy Goodness!

Whoza-Whatsa-Huh?

SOMEWHERE IN IANSISLE - Lets see. There's winning, then winning big, then whatever the hell was going on Iansisle.

The Chicanada National Team, expected to maybe be lucky and eck out two wins, got halfway there in a shocking 4-1 win that had even Jaquee scratching her head. Most expected Starblaydia to run away with the match and it appeared so with a 1-0 lead after one period, yet the Kodiaks, led by instead made it a blitz as they racked up three goals in the second period and the final nail in the coffin in the third.

Starblaydian officials are calling foul concerning the match, and even CHL members are wondering where some obvious missed calls went. No, nothing as controversal as that damn ice block everyone bitched about for a week, but several Kodiaks got a break instead of being called for clipping, tripping, and even fighting. Then again, Starblaydia was never called for two high-sticking (well, for Dwarves, it would be high-sticking) shots.

With so many missed penalties, the game basically became a knockout dragout fight when Chicanada wasn't scoring, and it wasn't pretty either. Coach Marianne Ljubian will be benching seven players for the next match against Tonissa (since CHL has a no-fighting-tolerance rule and Chicanadans in international competition are held to it). No word on how quick that rule will be dropped should Tonissa play even better than their 2-1 win over Liverpool.

Page4 Girl Bipsy will be reporting LIVE from the Tonissa game on chicanadasun.org as well as CanaTV tommorow afternoon. Expect her to be an idiot and forget we're playing hockey, since Tonissa has quite the lovely unis.

On a similar topic, was there ever a nation called 'Druidia'? Or did that misspelling come straight out of left field?Because Rabbits, whether Very Angry or not, are always helpful (courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent...sort of like the scouts, you know?) upon receipt of the above missive from the Iansislian (Ian-sillian?) Department of All That Stuff Outside Iansisle, a delegation from the Very Angry Rabbit Department of Being Helpful to the Point of Ridiculous was immediatley dispatched to the UN. To be helpful (courteous, kind, etc, etc), the delegation filed the requisite paperwork to found a nation - a nation to be called..."Druidia".

The paperwork was rejected, and the following reason given:

"The name "Druidia" is reserved for a former nation. Please select another name.'

That is all

;)

Because Rabbits, whether Very Angry or not, are always helpful (courteous, kind, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent...sort of like the scouts, you know?)

Jaquee, who has been enjoying a smoothie full of vodka after the stunning 4-1 Chicanadan victory, suddenly became overly content. Emmerdille, who was tagging along with the Chicanadan delegation as Official Babysitter, started to ask what was wrong but instead saw the Iansisle newpaper, where the VAR had made mention about being other things than angry. Emmer naturally rolled her eyes and stole Jaquee's vodka smoothie whike Jaquee started babling about the precious wabbitses.

Heard at the Oliverrian team press conference

President Frank Dubé: "Hi everyone. Welcome to the Oliverrian Cherry Cup XII team unvailment. As everybody knows, Oliverry finished 14th last Cherry cup. So, the Oliverrian Hockey Association took the decision to clear Johnathan Blue. So now, let me present you the new coach: Jean-Francois Larache."

Coach Larache: "Thank you, thank you. But firstly, lets take a minute of silence to remember our friend, Francois Laroche, who died 2 days ago from his cancer.

(a minute later)

So now, let me present the team that will represent us at Cherry Cup XII:

Coaches:
Coach: Jean-Francois Larache
Goalie Coach: Guillaume Letroue
Forward coach: Brian McGill

Goalies:
1: Damien Lavoie(Letremblay Bleu-Blanc-Rouge):22 years-old
5: Nicola Missioliza(Lamontagne Pingouins):32 years-old

Defensemen:
1st pair
44: Louis Tremblay(Lamontagne Pingouins):26 years-old
98: Gil Brown(Marshalliston Capitals):38 years-old
2nd pair
31: Richard Lanoix(Letremblay Bleu-Blanc-Rouge):37 years-old
22: Steve Dubé(Perpignant Français):25 years-old
3rd pair
58: Oliver Jones(Coastal Oceans):30 years-old
39: Lil'Jon Hat(Coastal Oceans):31 years-old

Forwards:
1st line
2: Guy-Jacques François(Marshalliston Capitals):33 years-old
4: Denys de Ladurantaye(Marshalliston Capitals):28 years-old
36: Dick Tremblay(Perpignant Francais):22 years-old
2nd Line
8: Johnathan Bailey(Sunberry Coastals):34 years-old
12: Frank Thompson(Perpignant Français):28 years-old
10: Michael Nurenburg(East Rubbermade DJ's):31 years-old
3rd line
9: Felipe Alanzano(Marshallsiton Capitals):23 years-old
14: Joel Hatcher(Sunberry Borders):34 years-old
98: Adrien Froussinot(Perpignant Francais): 29 years-old
4th line
18: Pat Andretti(Letremblay Bleu-Blanc-Rouge):34 years-old
23: Jersey MacMaster(Coastal Oceans):34 years-old
16: John Motorola(Costal Oceans):30 years-old

The players are gonna use the same uniforms as last year tournament:
http://membres.lycos.fr/lhjmq2004/Image1.png
http://membres.lycos.fr/lhjmq2004/Image2.png

Yes, I know: We have an old team, but after last cup's drop, we can do everything to improve the team."


A week later, after the 3-2 win against Hisam, the guys are in their lockerroom...

Coach Larache: Good job boys. Thanks for giving be a gift for the win. Anyway, we need to win some others, and with the groupmates we are with, it will be hard to win some. We have hosts, Iansisle, Tanah Burung, Squornshelous and Euroslavia, 4 of the best hockey teams. Anyway, we won it. Guys, we'll continue coach Blue's politics: Let's go the the nightclub
Other players: yaaaahhhhooooooo!!!

Oh, no! We Suck Again!

Ferrets lose to Euroslavia in a shootout

9th seeded Squornshelous started off its Cherry Cup run on a bad note, losing in a penalty shootout to 16th seeded Euroslavia. Several psychics including the world reknowned "Ms. Cleo" have been brought in to analyze the teams facilities and look into the possibility of a jinx being placed on the team, causing them to play poorly in Iansisle. More information will be forthcoming.


Squornshelous Roster Finally Released

Retired Players From Cherry Cup 11:

9 D Persson Anders 2 34 Blerontia Demons
21 RW Jeff Robertson 3 34 Xaxis Firebirds
22 C Peter Krantz 3 33 Xaxis Firebirds


Squornshelous Ferrets Roster:

# Pos Name Line Age Club
1 C Pavel Kasparov 1 28 Vogsphere Imperials
2 RW Andrey Gorvich 1 31 Xaxis Firebirds
4 D Kriegor Markesson 1 35 Golgafrincham Marauders
6 RW Arne Rassmussen 4 20 Margrathea Slartibartfasts
7 C Jeff Noonan 3 22 Poghrill Tribe
8 C Jan Nelson 2 32 Stavromula Blades
11 D Vanislav Polovski 4 18 Milliway Prophets
13 LW Paul Duckett 3 30 Golgafrincham Marauders
14 C Pavel Dukov 4 23 Xaxis Firebirds
31 D Bjorn Rasmussen 1 27 Blerontia Demons
32 GK Viktor Orlov - 29 Vogsphere Imperials
33 D Ahmed Hakim 2 21 Fallia Crocodiles
36 D Krog Dugsk 3 29 Damogran Trogdors
43 LW Igor Petchukov 1 23 Striterax Knights
45 D Nick O'Connor 4 19 Striterax Knights
52 D Wet Biscuit MacGlee 3 30 Damogran Trogdors
61 LW Ilya Chuko 2 22 Algolia Suntigers
67 LW Janni Titov 4 17 Traal Bugblatters
81 D Adolf Netbers 2 25 Santraginus Sharks
82 RW Rudolf Karlson 3 20 Yassacca Foresters
84 RW Petr Zarik 2 26 Stavromula Blades
90 GK Miika Svenson - 24 Santraginus Sharks


Squornshelous Expands its roster to a four line system addin a lot of new talent to the team. The first line and majority of the second line still remain from last cup.

The Gulf States Head Coach sends himself into exile...

Head Coach Thomas McNeil of TGS Hockey was recently spotted buying a one way ticket at Pearson Airport in Toronto heading to Mexico City. Once reaching the ground, he resigned as the team's coach and announced going into hiding somewhere in a Central American country.

This comes as a result of the 23rd place finish (out of 29) the team had in Cherry Cup XI.

The Gulf States hockey team still remains a mess, and skipped Cherry Cup 12 as a result.

Director of Sports, Games, and Recreation Sir Gregory Penns-McCormick was on hand to address Starblaydian and Chicanadian allegations of poor adjudication and outright favoritism in Chicanada's 4-1 defeat of the two time Cherry Cup champions.

"OF COURSE we were helping Chicanada," said Sir Gregory. "What, did you think we were going to just stand around and let Starblaydia win another Cherry Cup in Iansisle, home of the Antistarblaydian Legion? Pfft.

"But, really, I am disappointed at your common lack of perception. Sure, the refs we sent were blind - aren't they always? - but you didn't notice the numerous elves in attendance, the fact that we drugged all of Starblaydia's players and replaced them with talentless midgets (we thought of getting them high, but that only helps all of Tanah Burung's talentless players), the forcefield protecting the Chicanadian goal, or the fact that we hanged the faux Starblaydian dwarf who scored during the second intermission.

"When you fix a game in Iansisle," he continued, "you make damn sure you do it properly."

Meanwhile, the first game saw the announcement of Iansisle's Cherry Cup XII Gulls Roster:

http://www.arthritis.org/images/chapters/sandiego/gulls_logo_t.gif (http://sandiegogulls.com/)

G: Sergei Naumov
G: Trevor Koenig

RW: Martin St. Amour
RW: Mark Woolf (AC)
RW: Dennis Purdie
RW: Ashlee Langdone (which is why this CC is being played exclusively in Iansisle :))
RW: R.J. Enga

LW: Kevin St. Jacques
LW: Sandro Sbrocca
LW: Clayton Read
LW: Mark Pederson
C: B.J. MacPherson (C)
C: Mark Stitt
C: David Neal
C: Sylvain Deschatelets

D: Jamie Black
D: Brett Larson (AC)
D: Sergei Visegorodcevs
D: Taj Melson
D: Kevin Grant
D: Samy Nasreddine
D: Sammy Dejean

First Line
RW: Martin St. Amour
C: B.J. MacPherson
LW: Kevin St. Jacques

Second Line
RW: Mark Woolf
C: Mark Stitt
LW: Mark Pederson

Third Line
RW: Ashlee Langdone
C: David Neal
LW: Sandro Sbrocca

Fourth Line
RW: Dennis Purdie
C: Sylvain Deschatelets
LW: Clayton Read

Defensive Line 1
RD: Jamie Black
LD: Sergei Visegorodcevs

Defensive Line 1
RD: Taj Melson
LD: Samy Nasreddine

Power Play 1
RW: Mark Woolf
C: B.J. MacPherson
LW: Kevin St. Jacques
RD: Jamie Black
LD: Samy Nasreddine

Power Play 2
RW: Martin St. Amour
C: Mark Stitt
LW: Mark Pederson
RD: Taj Melson
LD: Samy Nasreddine

Penalty Kill 1
RW: Ashlee Langdone
LW: Kevin St. Jacques
RD: Brett Larson
LD: Sergei Visegorodcevs

Penalty Kill 2
RW: Martin St. Amour
LW: Mark Woolf
RD: Taj Melson
LD: Samy Nasreddine

OOC: One question! How can a shootout end in a draw? I was looking over scores and saw a draw in a shootout. Once a shoot out occurs, if my understanding is right, you go till someone wins.

OOC: One question! How can a shootout end in a draw? I was looking over scores and saw a draw in a shootout. Once a shoot out occurs, if my understanding is right, you go till someone wins.Unless the match is contested in Iansisle. Iansislian (or, in the vernacular, Ian Sillyan) rules are...well, "different" is the word that comes to mind. And we mean that in the best way.

One of the privileges (advantages?) of hosting a tournament such as this is the right of Magnus Uber Dominus ("lording it over"). Basically, once selected, hosts host as they see fit. Participants have the right to file a petition of protest in the nearest wastebasket at any time.

And, in the spirit of keeping things spirited, the Iansislian (Ians Sizzelean) Board of Explanation of Terms, Rules, and Quirks traditionally withholds explanations until the last minute...or several minutes later.

;)

Hockey Canadian Speech

The following was written by forward Guy Larocche.

I'm not unemployed or smuggling cigarette across da border.
I do not eat Pepsi or cereal for breakfast.
I don't watch the hockey game doing it ****** style,
no... I don't know Claude, Manon and Francois in Habitent-Lyroque,
but I'm sure they all have nice teeth.

I smoke in church,
I speak Kebecois en Joile, not French or English.
I pronounce it "Turd" not "Third"
And eating french-fries with cheese makes sense mon aussi.

I believe in the state-society,
but as long as someone else pays for it.
I believe in language police,
not equal rights.

I also believe that club de supersexi
is not an appropriate place for me and my wife to go on our aniversay. (what the hell, she goes there every night at 10)
In Oliverry (our friend who we want win as much),
The Cherry Cup comes around more than Halley's comet.

I can get beer at the "depenere",
not the supermarket.
Maybe I can't turn right on a red light,
but I can sure as hell go right through it.

Because Hockey Canada,
is the world's largest producer of frostbite.
The home of that guy who streaks,
AND whats-his-face.

The land where everyone is slimming down,
and "Illegal drinking age" is just a suggestion.
Je m'appelle Guy,
and I am so damn Hockey Canadian I need another drink.

Unless the match is contested in Iansisle. Iansislian (or, in the vernacular, Ian Sillyan) rules are...well, "different" is the word that comes to mind. And we mean that in the best way.

One of the privileges (advantages?) of hosting a tournament such as this is the right of Magnus Uber Dominus ("lording it over"). Basically, once selected, hosts host as they see fit. Participants have the right to file a petition of protest in the nearest wastebasket at any time.

And, in the spirit of keeping things spirited, the Iansislian (Ians Sizzelean) Board of Explanation of Terms, Rules, and Quirks traditionally withholds explanations until the last minute...or several minutes later.

;)

OOC: Once you start a shootout, you keep going till a winner is decided.

IC:

CORNELIU SPORTS PAGES
Corneliu ties in shootout?

The coach has filed a complaint regarding a shootout tie which violates the rules of hockey. In a stunning game, Corneliu tied thier opening round opponet 5-5 and then again in a shootout 4-4.

"I don't know how you can tie in a shootout. Once it starts, it goes till there's a winner. Whoever set this up really needs to learn their rules of hockey. I don't know how the other team is taking this but I bet they wanted to see a winner in the game as well."

The Corneliu Penquins jumped out to a 2-0 lead before falling behind by 3 late into the 2nd period. The third period saw a goal fest of five goals. In the shootout, no goalie could stop a shot late after each stopping their first. After Corneliu tied it up 4 all, they were preparing for extra rounds when it was called a draw.

"We still don't know why it was called." The coach said later. "We want answers."

OOC: Once you start a shootout, you keep going till a winner is decided.
OOC: It's up to the host how the thing get's run.

IC: The Department of Carrots and Other Peripheral Agriculture of Very Angry Rabbits has been informed that VAR ranks 9th in the region and 43,213th in the world for Largest Cheese Export Sector.

Which is all well and good, but leaves them a bit confused.

Is that statistic referring to the Largest Cheese Export Sector?

- or -

The Largest Cheese Export Sector?

(because, they do make some really big cheeses...)

VAR is right; Iansislean rules are different in this regard. I don't want to keep simming shootouts forever during the group phase, so each team gets one 6-goal shootout. After that, if the scores are still tied, the game is declared a draw. It's a readaption of the NHL's OT policy, only with a shootout rather than sudden death. In the knockout phase, as many 6 goal shootouts will be played as are needed.

Sorry for the OOCness of this post; I had been planning to respond IC, but I'm simming the second game day as we speak. A million thanks to all those who RPed for the first game day! :)

OOC: We play by the REAL RULES of hockey!

Game Day Two

Druida 2 - 4 Formal Dances
Hockey Canada 4 - 1 Inbreedia
Robotopolis 3 - 1 Fmjphoenix

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Formal Dances 2 2 0 0 0 8 2 4 +6
Robotopolis 2 2 0 0 0 8 5 4 +3
Hockey Canada 2 1 1 0 0 5 4 2 +1
Druida 2 1 1 0 0 5 5 2 +0
South Osettia 1 0 1 0 1 4 5 1 -1
Fmjphoenix 1 0 1 0 0 1 3 0 -2
Inbreedia 2 0 2 0 0 1 8 0 -7

Euroslavia 3 - 0 Hisam
Squornshelous 0 - 2 Oliverry
Tanah Burung 5 - 5 Krytenia (TB 3 - 3 KRY in shootout)

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Euroslavia 2 2 0 0 0 6 2 4 +4
Oliverry 2 2 0 0 0 5 2 4 +3
Tanah Burung 2 1 0 1 0 10 6 3 +4
Krytenia 1 0 0 1 0 5 5 1 +0
Squornshelous 2 0 2 0 1 2 5 1 -3
Hisam 2 0 2 0 0 2 6 0 -4
Iansisle 1 0 1 0 0 1 5 0 -4

Kericia 2 - 0 Corneliu
Very Angry Rabbits 5 - 1 Lovisa
Fimble loving peoples 6 - 6 Pablicosta (FLP 3 - 3 PAB in shootout)

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Kericia 2 2 0 0 0 5 2 4 +3
Fimble loving peoples 2 1 0 1 0 8 7 3 +1
Very Angry Rabbits 2 1 1 0 0 7 4 2 +3
Pablicosta 1 0 0 1 0 6 6 1 +0
Corneliu 2 0 1 1 0 5 7 1 -2
Lovisa 2 0 1 1 0 6 10 1 -4
Kalaallit Nunaat 1 0 1 0 0 1 2 0 -1

Chicanada 4 - 1 Tonissia
Starblaydia 5 - 4 Liverpool England (STAR 3 - 2 LE in shootout)
Vilita 3 - 4 Cognative

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Chicanada 2 2 0 0 0 8 2 4 +6
Cognative 1 1 0 0 0 4 3 2 +1
Harlesburg 1 1 0 0 0 1 0 2 +1
Starblaydia 2 1 1 0 0 6 8 2 -2
Tonissia 2 1 1 0 0 3 5 2 -2
Liverpool England 2 0 2 0 1 5 7 1 -2
Vilita 2 0 2 0 0 3 5 0 -2

SPORTSBLURB!

Gulls still lounging in last Belarussian spot ... Antistarblaydian League calls game fixing failure in Starblaydia-Liverpool England match "an insult to the finest Iansislean traditions" ... Hockey Canada flies past drawling Inbreedia and into third Torpedo System spot ... Chicanada loves MANY more rabbits than Tonissia ... Kericia continues surprising run, beats Corneliu ... Cognative shocks sporting world, wins first Cherry Cup match in their history against powerhouse Vilita ... Very Angry Rabbits' giant sharp sends Lovisan players home holding their noses - "How long has that been aging?" asks one Polish Bison ... Formal Dances, Chicanada joust for top position in Cherry Cup

OOC: I should have mentioned this last post, but there seems to be some confusion about how the shootouts work. If your line says "Your team 5 - 6 Other team (YT 4 - 5 OT in shootout)", this means that Your team tied the other team 1 - 1 in regulation and the final 4-5 shootout was added to your stat line. This is to make it easier on me integrating the shootout results into GD. Sorry for being ambiguous; please ask away if you have any questions. :)

OOC: We play by the REAL RULES of hockey!

OOC: Sorry to break it to you, but there are no 'real' rules of hockey. ;) NHL rules are quite different from Olympic rules, which are quite different from the old West Coast Hockey League rules. For the Iansislean Cherry Cups, we use Iansislean* rules. :)

((* oh, and in response to Very Angry attempts to pronounce that word, it's "ian - SIGH - lee - in" :p))

Schedule:
Day One: W: Squornshelous Ferrets 2 - 3 Euroslavia Phantoms (Squorn 1 - 2 Euro in shootout)
Day Two: W: Euroslavia 3 - 0 Hisam
Day Three: Off Day
Day Four: Euroslavia Phantoms vs. Tanah Burung Cassowaries
Day Five: Euroslavia Phantoms vs. Iansisle Gulls
Day Six: Euroslavia Phantoms vs. Krytenia Aces
Day Seven: Oliverry vs. Euroslavia Phantoms

Euroslavia moves to 2-0; First Place in the Division!

After a stunning upset against Squornshelous, and a victory over Hisam, the Phantoms from Euroslavia are sending a shockwave throughout the Cherry Cup. Ranked sixteenth, not too much was expected of the Phantoms. They weren't even expected to make the play-offs, but at this rate, if Euroslavia can keep up the work that it has set forth so far, the Phantoms may become a team to watch out for.

Their first victory came over an extremely tough Squornshelous squad, which is currently ranked Ninth in the Division. The game was tied 2-2, with each team desperately seeking to get that last goal to lift their own team to victory, but neither squad would get it within the regulation time limit. It came down to a shootout, which Euroslavia was lucky enough to win at. The coach walked out of the dressing room after the game, and made sure to give a response as to why they were so good at shootouts.

"This is something that we've practiced in every practice before the Cherry Cup started, as well as while it continues to proceed. Winning a shootout is vital to ones' belief in their own team, as well as the fans' belief that our team can do good things. That confidence is going to boil over for our next match against Hisam. Don't let their rank fool you, they are a formidable opponent."

With that said, the match day came and went, with Euroslavia achieving another victory over Hisam, shutting down their offense by literally shutting them out, 3-0. This victory put the Phantoms at the top of the Belarus Division, along with Oliverry as the two undefeated teams.

"So far, this season has two undefeated teams in our division. If things go as they have in the past two games, our final match against Oliverry is going to end the season with a bang. It couldn't be any more fitting."

When asked about its Day 4 match, the coach replied, "Tanah Burung is going to be an extremely hard team to defeat. Currently, they are one point behind our team, and we were quite shocked at their performance against Krytenia. We expected much more from them, and wonder if their heads were in the game at the time. Nevertheless, there is no reason for Tanah Burung to not be on its best game, which could arguably be the best competition for the entirety of the Cherry Cup. The only thing I can say is that we're gonna do our best to outperform them."

ChicanadaSun
Yay gossipy Goodness!

Whoza-Whatsa-Huh...Part Deux?

SOMEWHERE IN IANSISLE - Take one drunk CHL Regent, add a dash of random playcalling by a novice coach, shake well with chaos and you might have what came out today.

That's right, Chicanada has scored eight goals in two games. Insanely impressive.

Chicanada took to the ice yesterday against Tonissa with a visibly wasted Jaquee cheering in the stands and delighted Chicanadans in Iansisle and at home with their second 4-1 victory. The win keeps Chicanada atop the Lidas Lethargy Division. It also means four teams ranked 16th or lower have scored very impressive wins against the cream of the crop, with Kericia, Formal Dances and Euroslavia joining the Kodiaks atop the leaderboard.

Leading the scoring barrage was Colombo's Mashir Barazin, who racked up his second hattrick in as many games, and put the Kodiaks up comfortably with two goals in the first period. Backup Goalkeep Dumair Prada played a perfect match as a sub for Mirel Kros, only allowing one goal from 17 shots and that being in the last few minutes of the match. The Kodiaks did well on powerplays as well scoring 2 goals (1 second period, 1 third period) off of five powerplay sessions.

Chicanada's Schedule:

Day One: Chicanada 4, Starblaydia 1 (Barazin 3, York 1)
Day Two: Chicanada 4, Tonissa 1 (Barazin 3, Los 1)
Day Three: off day
Day Four: Chicanada v Vilita
Day Five: Chicanada v Harlesburg
Day Six: Chicanada v Cognative Superios
Day Seven: Chicanada v Liverpool England

From the Desk of Jaquelyn Moriseete, CHL Regents Delegate

The official roster for the Chicanada National Team during Cherry Cup XII

http://www.geocities.com/crazyshy100/CHCChestLogo.jpg

First Line:

Mashir Barazin C Colombo
Jerrad Los W Provincetown
Bastian Opei W Bishop HC
Ioan Luff D Star Point
Peris Alcazar D Rosa City
Mirel Kros G Atens

Reserves:

Tribecca York C Easten
Mordecai Lincoln C Crossing HC
Terrence Philton W Verde
Lin Fe W Mission HC
Karoli Uganzi W Provincetown
Blu Gondril W Livingston
Forrest Winston W HC Ashely
Harrison Klingstron W Provincetown
Quentin Sloven W West Coast HC
Derk Louve D HC Ashley
Sylvester Youden D Township
Finnen Elmeron D Saint Croix
Rodgeon Kittzenson D Cana HC
Gradan K'lzojo D Jaxx
Salan Ovedon D Verde
G Dumair Prada G Eoden
G Garen Wallase G Easten

This is a Public Service Anouncement brought to you by the Hockey Board Of Krytenia (HBK).

"MWA HA HA HA HAH!

These Cassowaries ain't so hot. Call themselves the second-best in the world. We come to their place an can they beat us?

Can they hell.

So here's a message to everyone in the Belarus Division:

The Aces are here. The Aces mean business. The Aces are gonna school your backsides all over the rink."

This has been a Public Service Announcement brought to you by the HBK.

OOC: Sorry to break it to you, but there are no 'real' rules of hockey. ;) NHL rules are quite different from Olympic rules, which are quite different from the old West Coast Hockey League rules. For the Iansislean Cherry Cups, we use Iansislean* rules. :)

((* oh, and in response to Very Angry attempts to pronounce that word, it's "ian - SIGH - lee - in" :p))

OOC: hate to break it to ya but in the Olympics, if they have a shootout, they continue until there's a winner.

IC

WALTZ CITY PAPER---SPORTS SECTION

Formal Dances waltzs their way to a 2-0 start.

"This season has started out hot for us and we are hoping to keep it going."

"We are having fun here and the people are friendly."

The team is preparing for their next tough opponet and are praying to start off the season 3-0.

OOC: hate to break it to ya but in the Olympics, if they have a shootout, they continue until there's a winner.

OOC: hate to break it to you, but we're not playing the Olympics. :P

OOC: hate to break it to you, but we're not playing the Olympics. :P

OOC: Hate to say this but your taking away from the game of hockey and have perverted it thus making it no fun anymore. The whole purpose of the shootout is excitement of who will crack first. A tie in a shootout is betrayal. I suggest you change it.

OOC: Hate to break it to you, but I'm getting kind of bored of seeing 'hate to break it to you' messages.

IC:

"Why are we fifth in the table?"

"Because four more teams have more points than us."

"Yes, but why is that?"

"Because they've played more games than us, and they haven't had to play the current Champions yet."

"Hmmm...I suppose that's a good enough reason...for now. Who are we playing next?"

"Er...Inbreedia I believe."

"Oh good. So we'll win that, and then it'll be plain sailing for us."

"That's what you said last time, and now we're fourth."

"Plain sailing for us."

"Just because you repeat a phrase with extra added emphasis, doesn't make it correct."

"Plain sailing for us!"

"sigh."

OOC: Hate to say this but your taking away from the game of hockey and have perverted it thus making it no fun anymore. The whole purpose of the shootout is excitement of who will crack first. A tie in a shootout is betrayal. I suggest you change it.

I'm sorry that you feel that way. The Cherry Cup should be fun for all who participate in it. However, I'm not sure you understand the implications of 'just changing it': I'd have to go back and rescore all the games in which there was a tie after the shootout. Think about how upset that would make the team that didn't win, or the team that was in a playoff spot but for the one extra point that some other team got. Hardly fair to them to change horses midway. I'll admit it is my fault for not more clearly enumerating what the shootout round would entail, but we have to work in the present and not the past.

However, I've always maintained that a Cherry Cup run by Iansisle is a Cherry Cup run by and for the participants, even in this rather major regard. If a significant number of people feel the same way as you and Formal Dances and no one has any serious objections to the potential implications of rescoring the shootouts, I'll do it.

ooc: Sorry. I've had some problems.

ic:

*Scruffily dressed man runs into news room and jumps onto chair.&

"Sorry for the lateness. I had been assured this competition was being held in Tanah burung."

*Muffled noise*

"Yes. I bloody was. No. I didn't go there to drink and just come up with that crappy excuse just now."

*Extra muffles*

"Whatever. Just give me the sports news to read. *Mumbles under breath 'football teams doing well, extreme ironing team dies in fresk crash'* Just get to the hockey news."

"FLP win then draw. Are in second. is that it? What about detailed match reports? Startling interviews? Amazing exclusives?"

*Muffled again*

"I coul;dn't be bothered to be here so you couldn't be bothered to write my cards? Oh. That's real mature. I guess it's goodnight everyone."

I'm sorry that you feel that way. The Cherry Cup should be fun for all who participate in it. However, I'm not sure you understand the implications of 'just changing it': I'd have to go back and rescore all the games in which there was a tie after the shootout. Think about how upset that would make the team that didn't win, or the team that was in a playoff spot but for the one extra point that some other team got. Hardly fair to them to change horses midway. I'll admit it is my fault for not more clearly enumerating what the shootout round would entail, but we have to work in the present and not the past.

However, I've always maintained that a Cherry Cup run by Iansisle is a Cherry Cup run by and for the participants, even in this rather major regard. If a significant number of people feel the same way as you and Formal Dances and no one has any serious objections to the potential implications of rescoring the shootouts, I'll do it.ooc: Just in case it wasn't transparent in my posts so far, my opinion is: Iansisle is running this cup, and it's fine with me that it will be run the way Iansisle want's to run it.

(a "betrayal"? of a sport? I don't think that's even possible. you can only betray a person or group of people. Corny, and FD, please just accept the fact that the match(s) in question ended in tie(s), and let's move on)

I Hate To Break Your Arm...
'Cos I'd Rather Break All Your Limbs

"What's the best way to save a shot in a shoot-out?" I don't hear you cry.

Well, the answer is simple. Break the arms of the opposing team first! Then make sure your goalie is the fattest Dwarf this side of Mordor and watch the shots fail to whizz by! Liverpool Englander's arms break especially easy! why not try it in your next match with them? Guaranteed results!

You may be forced to tie your shootout with this technique, but if you can't keep your own limbs from being broken, why are you on a rink? Gerrof!


This informative post has been brought to you by the 'Razyors All The Way, Baby!' Campaign for Sending the Rayzors All the Way. Baby.

Three delivery men wheel a box like object into the hallway just outside the office of the Director of Operations for the Very Angry Rabbits Artic Hares, Otto Matic. The thing has a couple of old moving blankets draped over it - so old, you can no longer tell what color they used to be. What ever it is they're draped over is about 8 feet long, 6 feet tall, and a foot and a half wide. As they are jockeying it into position along the wall outside Otto's office, Otto himself comes out. He seems to be straightening out his...skin? If one were suspicious, one would think he were adjusting a rabbit suit. Nah...or...well...(Orwell?)...Nah. Nah. At least, we think "Nah".

"Any trouble getting it in here?"

"You Matic? The guy who ordered this?"

"That's me."

"Sign here. And intial here, here, and here."

"Any trouble getting it..."

“So, you’se rabbits won, eh? Beat Lovisa five to one? Cheat much?”

“Just enough, I guess. No trouble, then?”

"I said, "Sign here," pal. You don't sign, we take it back."

"But I only..."

"Nope. You sign first."

Otto fishes about in his pockets for a pen. Finding none, he turns to the delivery man who seems to be in charge. Who stares him down without making a move. Otto goes back into his office. We here him rumaging about, and then he comes back out holding a ballpoint in his right hand.

"Red okay?"

"Crayon's okay. Just sign."

Otto signs. And initials here. And here. And here.

"So, no trouble getting it in here, then?”

“It’s here, ain’t it?”

“Did you see Jaquee on the way in?”

“Did who see who?”

“Jaquee Morisette. Did you see her? Is she here? She’s in Iansisle someplace.”

“What are you talkin’ about? We playin’ 20 questions here, or what?”

“Did you see her?”

“Bud, I wouldn’t know Jaquee Morrison…”

“…Morisette…”

“More-whatever-the….wouldn’t know her if she spit in my face. Look, Matic. You signed, we’re done. Got any problems, call the office.”

“What office?”

“Our office – Security-R-Us. You know, the same office you called to have this thing built, stocked, and delivered.”

“I didn’t order it. Harvey did.”

“Who’s Harvey? Ya mean you ain’t who’s ‘sposed to get this?”

“No, no, it’s for me.”

“Look, bud, not fer nuthin’, but me and the boys just delivers this stuff. You got questions, you got problems, you got anything at all but a signature and three sets of initials, you call the office. Got it?”

“Um...”

“Good. ‘Slong.”

The delivery guys slide the blankets off and start folding them up, revealing what appears to be a costume rack, encased in glass, complete with costumes. They seem to be costumes of various…people…and there’s a giraffe. And a kangaroo. And a partridge (in a pear tree). The delivery guys finishing folding the blankets (well – sort of) and leave as Otto affixes a sign to the glass-cased costume rack. It reads:

In Case Of Emergency, Break Glass

OOC: Then you left me no choice!

IC:

At a hastly called press conference, the team owner walked out onto the stage to address the issue that has been plaguing Cherry Cup XII. That issue as most of you know is that of the shootout tie. Here's the owner.

"Because of a violation of hockey rules done by the host nation of this Cherry Cup, we can no longer in good faith participate in such a system. Because of this conflict, we are withdrawing from Cherry Cup XII all together and do not know if we will participate in anymore.

"We don't do this lightly. We love the game of hockey. It is our national past time. We however play according to the rules as laid down by the international community and not by a nation going by its own rules. A shoot out is just that, you shoot it out till someone wins. There are NO TIES in a shoot out. This tie in a shoot out is a stain on the honor and integrity of the game.

"Because of this, we are withdrawing out team from this international competition and will not participate in anmy cups runned by this nation until the freshen up on the rules of the game and conform to international standards. Thank you."

That was Owner McGantry who just announced that the Corneliu Penquins is withdrawing from the competition. We have also just learned that the Press Corp will remain to cover the event but the team itself is done here.

*Analysis now being discussed*

OOC2: Sorry but because of stupidity, you have left me no choice.

OOC2: Sorry but because of stupidity, you have left me no choice.

OOC: WHAT!? Did you even read my post? The one in which I said - EXPLICITLY - that I would abolish the shootout ties and rescore such games as ended thus if enough people wanted me to? Believe it or not, there are more people in this Cherry Cup than just you, all of whom are entitled to their opinions.

I've had just about enough of your puerile drama-queen theatrics; they won't help you get your way. If, before tomorrow, a significant number of people have voted against ties in shootouts (though frankly I see no one besides yourself and Formal Dances who even gives a flying wing-ding...one never knows) then I will change the rule and resim those games.

And, because I'm just such a nice guy, I'll even give you the chance to take back your withdrawal. Otherwise, I'm thinking a forfeit of all six games (including those already played) and an automatic 28th ranking in the Cup. There's nothing going to be helped by withdrawing - stick around and see if there's any popular support for your complaint!

To everyone else playing in the Cherry Cup: you have my most humble apologies for this disturbance. If you have an opinion on the matter of shootouts ending in draws, please speak your mind now. We will continue with Game Day Three tomorrow, one way or the other.

*takes a deep breath*

OOC: Giving and taking crap won't help anyone in this Cherry Cup. You're not helping anyone by posting pure crap on here. If you have a problem send hate-filled IMs or TGs to each other. But don't mess up our time on the forums. I only have a limited time on NS nowadays with school and preparing for university, the last thing I want to see when I come on here is a bunch of hate-posts being passed back and fourth.

I'm supporting Iansisle on this because:

a) He's usually right
b) He's always been nice by defending what's right
c) He's the host and you have to take what your given
d) If you sign up you agree to the rules in the bid given by the host nation (Iansisle)

All of these forums would be better with more Iansisles, Liverpool Englands, Vilitas and Starblaydias. With all the cups they've helped made and made fun we don't need a withdrawal to just send it all down the drain. Any comments/questions can be TGd to me.

*ooc: I love a good scandal, hence the Sun getting involved ;)*

ChicanadaSun
Yay gossipy Goodness!

Oh For Puck's Sake!
Yet More Scandal Erupts Off The Ice

SOMEWHERE IN IANSISLE - No, the Kodiaks didn't play today, Yet scandal has rocked the ice world yet again and we're only so happy to report on all the bitcy goodness.

Seems some nations have a problem with a tie in a shootout. Yeah, we never heard of such a thing either but Jaquee, Chicanada's CHL Regent Delegate and all-around batshit crazy, said it's they style of Iansisle play and we had no problems with it during the selection process. Well, that's dandy for us but not so much for Corneliu, who's pitching a bigger fit than they did over a piece of ice smacking a puck and knocking them lower in the CCXI tourney. Or when that Vilitan guy decided to grant a goal when the puck was on the other side.

Reports comming from Iansisle says Corneliu is planning to withdraw since Iansisle plans to not change their shootout-tie method thing. We at the Sun always wish the best to the less fortunate who had to settle for one point rather than three, but seriously. It's a point in a match that they could have lost if they kept going, then they would be in dead last rather than barely ahead of Lovisa. Eh, more power to 'em if they leave, we always say.

Chicanada should be playing tommorow against Group Favorite Vilita with Page 4 Girl Bipsy heading back into the booth for chicanadasun.org and CanaTV...and maybe she'll talk about the game instead of droning about her nails and that cute Tonissian guy she blew the night before. No one expects Jaquee, even if she gets herself a woveably-angwy wabbit, to yank the team due to silly things like rules. Of course, should something clonk her on the head and she spends several days crying about it, anything is possible.

Chicanada's Schedule:

Day One: Chicanada 4, Starblaydia 1 (Barazin 3, York 1)
Day Two: Chicanada 4, Tonissa 1 (Barazin 3, Los 1)
Day Three: off day
Day Four: Chicanada v Vilita
Day Five: Chicanada v Harlesburg
Day Six: Chicanada v Cognative Superios
Day Seven: Chicanada v Liverpool England

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A TG is dispatched from the Hotel de Iansisle somewhere in Iansisle to the CCXII committee

From the Desk of Jacquline Moriseete, CHL Regents Delegate

Hi! I just wanted to show my support with the CCXII Iansisle Committee with however you're running the cup. Chicanada has been pleased with how the tourney has been run (even with some eyebrow raising scoring on our side) and looks foreward to a continuation of a great tournament.

Sincerely, and on the prowl for wabbits,

Jaquee M.

(Good Lord, one day I will not depend on the VAR to remember how to spell my own crazy character's name :p)

OOC: Then you left me no choice!

IC:

At a hastly called press conference, the team owner walked out onto the stage to address the issue that has been plaguing Cherry Cup XII. That issue as most of you know is that of the shootout tie. Here's the owner.

"Because of a violation of hockey rules done by the host nation of this Cherry Cup, we can no longer in good faith participate in such a system. Because of this conflict, we are withdrawing from Cherry Cup XII all together and do not know if we will participate in anymore.

"We don't do this lightly. We love the game of hockey. It is our national past time. We however play according to the rules as laid down by the international community and not by a nation going by its own rules. A shoot out is just that, you shoot it out till someone wins. There are NO TIES in a shoot out. This tie in a shoot out is a stain on the honor and integrity of the game.

"Because of this, we are withdrawing out team from this international competition and will not participate in anmy cups runned by this nation until the freshen up on the rules of the game and conform to international standards. Thank you."

That was Owner McGantry who just announced that the Corneliu Penquins is withdrawing from the competition. We have also just learned that the Press Corp will remain to cover the event but the team itself is done here.

*Analysis now being discussed*

OOC2: Sorry but because of stupidity, you have left me no choice.

OOC: Oh please. You act like someone cares, when clearly no one does.

Why are you signing up for these things if you're just going to bitch and moan because you aren't winning all of your matches? So what if you finished first in your division two cups ago? That doesn't mean you're going to have a continued streak of exellence. Unlike me. 'Cause I'm awesome.

Yeah.

Anyway, news post next.

*behind closed doors in the national office of the interior and sport bar in North Loab*

'What do you mean we won? We didn't go there to win, just to make a good showing of our loosing cause. We were building for next year...' exclaims hockey minister Pierre LaFoufu.

'I know sir, but lest be happy about it, this is our first sports victory and a great feat.' replies office lackey Johnny Mandelor.

'I know that minion, you don't have to remind me, but I was hopeing we would float through under the radar and do well next year.'

'Well I guess just live with what happens and let the games go on.'

'Did I ask you for advice lackey?'

'yes sir you did.'

'Oh... Well get out!!!'

*Johnny runs from the room screaming.*

*The director picks up the phone and begins dialing the cell phone of coach Nolan*

'Gotta tell this guy good job... godd for my public image.'

DOn't look to me, I don't care

We have just been informed that Corneliu is staying in the International Competition.

"We felt that its only a game so we'll stay in"

OOC: Hockey Canada, don't tell me about school and preparing for university. I'm stressing out over 2 term papers, finals, and a personal relationship crisis that was resolved. Don't tell me that your having a hard time because I don't want to hear it.

Posted (you guessed it) just outside the office door of Otto Matic, the Director of Operations for the Very Angry Rabbits Hockey Team, The Artic Hares – on the glass front of the Emergency Costume Rack:

Okay – now that everybody’s here, we’ve got this thing underway. Nice game against Lovisa, guys! Keep it up! Double carrot rations for the next two days! Our strategy for the next game – just keep whispering, “We hate fimbles. We hate fimbles” under your breath throughout the entire game. That oughta put ‘em off their feed, so to speak. We’re looking for an actual fimble, so we can mis-treat it on the bench during the game. Anybody know where we can find one? Or, for that matter, what a fimble looks like, so if we do find one, we’ll know it?

On another note, Jacquline Morisette is in Iansisle for the duration of Cherry Cup XII. Keep an eye peeled. Wait. Forget that. You guys are entirely too literal. Keep an eye opened for her. If she shows up, the emergency costumes are in this costume rack. The little wooden mallet hanging by a chain attached to this rack is to be used to break the glass in such an emergency. Remember to sign out your costumes, and sign them back in when the Jaquee Emergency is over. And no more arguments over who gets to be the kangaroo.

Oh – down below is the schedule for the Foppa Faux Pas Division, the scores to date, and the stats chart. Let’s see what we can do to increase the number in the “W” column, eh?

Finally – I’m getting a little tired of having to…um…go on sabbatical…after every one of these tournaments. Can we end this one on a high note, please? I’m runnin’ out of places to hide.

Otto

Foppa Faux Pas Division

Teams:
1) Fimble loving peoples -- 3
2) Very Angry Rabbits - Artic Hares -- 6
3) Kalaallit Nunaat - Iceberg -- 11
4) Lovisa - Polish Bisons -- 15
5) Kericia - Seagulls -- 17
6) Corneliu - Penguins -- 21
7) Pablicosta - Phoenix –- 35

Games Played to Date
Game Day One Scores:
Fimble loving peoples 2 - 1 Kalaallit Nunaat
Very Angry Rabbits 2 - 3 Kericia
Corneliu 5 - 5 Lovisa (Corn 4 - 4 Lov in shootout)
Pablicosta - bye

Game Day Two Scores:
Kericia 2 - 0 Corneliu
Very Angry Rabbits 5 - 1 Lovisa
Fimble loving peoples 6 - 6 Pablicosta (FLP 3 - 3 PAB in shootout)
Kalaallit Nunaat – bye

Remaining Schedule
Game Day Three:
Fimble loving peoples vs Very Angry Rabbits
Kalaallit Nunaat vs Lovisa
Corneliu vs Pablicosta
Kericia – bye

Game Day Four:
Kericia vs Fimble loving peoples
Lovisa vs Pablicosta
Kalaallit Nunaat vs Corneliu
Very Angry Rabbits – bye

Game Day Five:
Very Angry Rabbits vs Pablicosta
Kericia vs Kalaallit Nunaat
Fimble loving peoples vs Corneliu
Lovisa – bye

Game Day Six:
Lovisa vs Fimble loving peoples
Kericia vs Pablicosta
Very Angry Rabbits vs Kalaallit Nunaat
Corneliu – bye

Game Day Seven:
Lovisa vs Kericia
Corneliu vs Very Angry Rabbits
Kalaallit Nunaat vs Pablicosta
Fimble loving peoples – bye

Foppa Faux Pas Division Results
Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Kericia 2 2 0 0 0 5 2 4 +3
Fimble loving peoples 2 1 0 1 0 8 7 3 +1
Very Angry Rabbits 2 1 1 0 0 7 4 2 +3
Pablicosta 1 0 0 1 0 6 6 1 +0
Corneliu 2 0 1 1 0 5 7 1 -2
Lovisa 2 0 1 1 0 6 10 1 -4
Kalaallit Nunaat 1 0 1 0 0 1 2 0 -1

Guys – there’s still tickets left for all the games. Your people can get ‘em at the gate, or at Carrotron on line or over the phone. And remember, if you want another shot at them bloomin' Rayzors, or those befowled (sic) Cassowaries, we gotta win more games than we lose, and move on!

I don't recognise many of the names of the teams from when I last played, but I'm proud as hell to see that the Don Cherry Cup is still going strong. When the 13th tourny rolls around, Mercaenaria will be proud to join up.
Go Annihilators!

Game Day Three

Robotopolis 2 - 3 Hockey Canada
South Osettia 7 - 6 Inbreedia (SO 4 - 3 INB in shootout)
Fmjphoenix 1 - 2 Formal Dances

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Formal Dances 3 3 0 0 0 10 3 6 +7
Robotopolis 3 2 1 0 0 10 8 4 +2
Hockey Canada 3 2 1 0 0 8 6 4 +2
South Osettia 2 1 1 0 1 12 12 3 +0
Druida 2 1 1 0 0 5 5 2 +0
Inbreedia 3 0 3 0 1 7 15 1 -8
Fmjphoenix 2 0 2 0 0 2 5 0 -3

Tanah Burung 2 - 1 Squornshelous
Iansisle 4 - 1 Oliverry
Krytenia 1 - 0 Hisam

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Tanah Burung 3 2 0 1 0 12 7 5 +5
Euroslavia 2 2 0 0 0 6 2 4 +4
Oliverry 3 2 1 0 0 5 6 4 -1
Krytenia 2 1 0 1 0 6 5 3 +1
Iansisle 2 1 1 0 0 5 6 2 -1
Squornshelous 3 0 3 0 1 3 7 1 -4
Hisam 3 0 3 0 0 2 7 0 -5

Fimble loving peoples 2 - 1 Very Angry Rabbits
Kalaallit Nunaat 6 - 4 Lovisa (KN 5 - 3 LOV in shootout)
Pablicosta 3 - 1 Corneliu

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Fimble loving peoples 3 2 0 1 0 10 8 5 +2
Kericia 2 2 0 0 0 5 2 4 +3
Pablicosta 2 1 0 1 0 9 7 3 +2
Very Angry Rabbits 3 1 2 0 0 8 6 2 +2
Kalaallit Nunaat 2 1 1 0 0 7 6 2 +1
Lovisa 3 0 2 1 1 10 16 2 -6
Corneliu 3 0 2 1 0 6 10 1 -4

Vilita 0 - 2 Starblaydia
Harlesburg 2 - 4 Liverpool England
Cognative 7 - 7 Tonissia (COG 4 - 4 TON in shootout)

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Chicanada 2 2 0 0 0 8 2 4 +6
Starblaydia 3 2 1 0 0 8 8 4 +0
Cognative 2 1 0 1 0 11 10 3 +1
Liverpool England 3 1 2 0 1 9 8 3 +1
Tonissia 3 1 1 1 0 10 12 3 -2
Harlesburg 2 1 1 0 0 3 4 2 -1
Vilita 3 0 3 0 0 3 7 0 -4

SPORTSBLURB!

Antistarblaydian League furious, call for the head of Sir Gregory Penns-McCormick ... Liverpool England, Iansisle, Kalaallit Nunaat finally break out of high-ranked blues, win ... Vilita, Lovisa, Squornshelous still mired in misery ... Formal Dances becomes only three-game winner ... Fimble loving peoples defeats Very Angry Rabbits in the Battle of the Six Words ... Giant Tanah Burung tarantula newest sports attraction among 5-year-old Iansislean boys - "Just think what would happen if I put THAT in my sister's hair!" says one ... Inbreedia stumbles, drunk, into first point ... Robotopolis, in the lose column? Impossible! say experts ... Vote of the Cherry Cup Rules Committee keeps shootout draws, but censors Iansislean planners for their mistake ...

Robots Shut Down by Flyers

It seems that the Robots have an off switch after all. With 2 goals by 2 different Hanson borthers and another by Kyle Thomas, Hockey Canada did whatever they did to pull the victory over Robotopolis. The win gave them a tie for second with Robotpolis in the Torpedo System Division. The donut in the loss section was changed to a biscotti... excuse me i'm going out for a donut and coffee (maybe biscotti).

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Formal Dances 3 3 0 0 0 10 3 6 +7
Robotopolis 3 2 1 0 0 10 8 4 +2
Hockey Canada 3 2 1 0 0 8 6 4 +2
South Osettia 2 1 1 0 1 12 12 3 +0
Druida 2 1 1 0 0 5 5 2 +0
Inbreedia 3 0 3 0 1 7 15 1 -8
Fmjphoenix 2 0 2 0 0 2 5 0 -3

The robots got ahead early as robots always do... but they seemed to run out of batteries after their first 2 goals. The Hansons scored 2 quick more and Thomas added an early 2nd period goal to give HC the lead.

Druida fan #1: "So who are we playing today?"

Druida fan #2: "No-one. It's our rest day."

Druida fan #1: "Cool! Shall we get drunk then?"

Druida fan #2: "Go on then. Nothing better to do."

Druida fan #1: "Cool!"

This is another Public Service Anouncement brought to you by the Hockey Board Of Krytenia (HBK), and sponsored by Lavin Brand Abattoirian Whisky.


"Byesam.

We told you we meant business, and we've just proved it. We will take the Shieldians and pierce their armour. We shall take the Ice Cats nine lives. We shall slash the Rayzors all the way, baby (broken arms are an excuse for wimps and footballers.)

WE. SHALL. WIN.

LOTS.

Now who's next for an Ace-whoopin'?"

This has been another Public Service Announcement brought to you by the HBK, and sponsored by Lavin Brand Abattoirian Whisky.

"...brought the score to 2 to 1 in favor of ‘FLP”. What happened next was so incredible you simply won't believe it unless you see it! As luck would have it, one of our cameramen got it all on tape. Watch for yourselves. It's just...it's outlandish! Roll tape."

*Tape roles. Our vantage point seems to be the press box above the rink in the arena. Fimble loving peoples are down there battling it out on the ice with Very Angry Rabbits. Suddenly, directly across the arena from us, the wall caves in as what appears to be a pirate ship crashes through. The "Jolly Roger" - the ol' "Skull and Cross Bones" - flies atop her main mast. As she grinds to a halt, sea water spilling past her bow and out on to the ice surface, a cargo net is cast over her side, and dozens of pirates swarm down and spread out across the ice, and up into the seats. Standing on the bowsprit is a tall man with curly dark beard, tri-corner hat, left eye covered with an eye patch, holding a huge cutlass in his right hand. He seems to be...yes, he's singing. Bellowing, in fact.

"Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho, a bottle of friggin'...what is it a bottle of, Smee?"

"Rum, Cap'n."

"Aye! Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho, a bottle of friggin'...Smee, what is it again?"

"It's a bottle 'o RUM, yer honor. Rum."

"Thank 'ee, Smee. Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho, a bottle of friggin' Rum! Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho, a...Smee - wot in th' name 'o the great bloody blue cassowary is goin' on 'ere?"

"Hits a ice 'ockey game, yer Black ‘eartedness. A ice ‘ockey game’s wot ‘tis.”

“Argh! A bleedin’ ice ‘ockey game! Smee, those tiny creatures zippin’ ‘bout – they ‘pear ta be rabbits. Is they rabbits, Smee?”

“Aye, Cap’n, rabbits they be.”

“Rabbits? Rabbitses? Wot in the briny deep are rabbitses doin’ playin’ ‘ockey? And wouldja lookit them tiny little skates 'n' things?”

“Only word fer it be “cute”, Cap’n.”

“Pirates don’t say “cute”, Smee.”

“Er…Argh!…um…Gar!…Oi mean ta say absoid…’ats wot Oi mean, is wot.”

“That’s better, Smee. Har! Yo, you scurvy lot! ‘Ave a listen!”

The “scurvy lot” of pirates has been swarming about the rink and the stands. Several of them are holding various members of the Artic Hares, as well as the Fimble loving peoples, upside-down and shaking them, pocketing what ever falls to the ice. Similar activity is taking place in the stands. Up towards the top row of seats two extremely scurvy looking pirates have stuck a long board over the edge of the stands, and are forcing a thoroughly frightened fan to “walk the plank.” Here and there various pirates are chasing various fans, waving various cutlasses and/or swords in various menacing ways. As the pirate captain shouts for them to “ave a listen,” all this activity stops, and the “scurvy lot” turns to “ave” that listen. This causes several players from both teams to land on the ice on their heads as they are dropped by which ever pirate happened to be literally “shaking them down”.

“Right then, men! Does ya see them rabbitses a playin’ ‘ockey? That aint right! Gather ‘em up, boys! Arr! Gather ‘em up ‘n’ stick ‘em in a couple ‘o sacks!”

The gathering up of the Artic Hares commences. It is interspersed with the other pirate activities previously described. Yes, yes - the plank walking and the shaking upside-down and the chasing and waving of cutlasses. Yes, sword waving too. After a bit, the last of the now Extremely Angry Rabbits have been stuffed in a couple of sacks.

“Wot’ll we do wif alla da tiny skates, 'n' teeny ‘elmets, ‘n’ stuff, Cap’n?”

“Har! Donate ‘em to a Orphanage, Smee!”

“Ow ‘bout the sacks ‘o rabbitses, yer Dark ‘earted Rotteness?”

“Toss them sacks o’ rabbits over by that sack ‘o carrots. The one by that big black cauldron.”

…pause for effect…

“Wait a mo’, Smee…sack ‘o rabbits…sack ‘o carrots…cauldron…does ya see a pattern ‘ere?”

“Er…well…ah, Cap’n, Oi nevah got past the second grade.”

“Never you mind, Smee. Just ‘ave one ‘o the crew fetch a sack ‘o potatoes, and some celery, and one fine Vidalia onion!”

That’s where the tape ends, ladies and gentlemen - the cameraman had to drop the camera and run for his life. That’s also where the game ended, with the Iansislian Officials declaring that since over 90% of the game had been completed, and since the Artic Hares were otherwise engaged, the game was to be considered finished and Fimble loving peoples declared winner 2 goals to 1.

Is this the end of the Artic Hares? Is Otto Matic out of a job? Will Tanah Burnished Cassowary Casserole become a thing of the past? Will there never be a show-down with the ‘Bladian Rayzors? Is Jaquee doomed never to find a fuzzy wuzzy wabbit? Etc? Tune in tomorrow – or sometime thereafter – and find out!

*Theme music played on a poorly tuned guitar blazes before cutting back to a scuffy man in a chair*

"............No. I wasn't bloody drinking. That's slander that is. *Pause* No. You kill YOURSELF."

*Muffled laughter*

"You had that bloody thing turned on? Just hand me the bloody news."

*Papers are pushed onto desk*

"Okay. To the actual news. FLP beat the Very Angry rabbits today to move top of the group in the Don cherry cup."

*More muffled laughter*

*Whispers under breath* "The match was interrupted late on by a pirate ship. various FLP players were mugged before the entire VAR team were taken away in bags. This is a joke right."

*Plenty of extra muffled talking*

"We have a video clip? Play it. And it better not be a joke, like when you said you had footage of those dancing pandas and it was actually my home sex video."

*Cuts to video shown earlier on VAR television*

"Holy bloody sh.........*Shouts in background*.........dest things I've ever seen. Well you've seen it here. true story. There are rabbit stealing pirates on the loose. Good night. And remember, if you have a rabbit, get rid of it before the pirates show up."

*A completely different tune plays, but just as crap.*

"Hm, this is interesting."

"What is, Emmer?"

"Apparently some pirates invaded a match today, Jaquee."

"Pirates?"

"I thought I didn't stutter."

"Oh, you didn't dear, I was just surprised that pirates would even care about hockey."

"Yeah, apparently they were pissed because some rabbits were playing hockey and OH HELL."

"Rabbits? As in the Very Angry, Loveable, Cuddleable, Sweet, Innocent, Brave, Helpful, Tidy, Pleasant, Adorable Rabbits."

"..."

"Emmer, did something happen to the presiouses?"

"..."

"Damn it, give me the remote!"

Jaquee turns on the tv set in her hotel room that Emmer, Soon-To-Be-Not-So-Offical Babysitter just turn off to see the VAR footage.

"Ma'm, I didn't realize you could turn purple."

"THE WABBITISESS ARE MISSING!!!"

"Um, yeah, that's what it's saying."

"C'mon Emmer."

"C'mon where, ma'm?"

"We have to save the precious precious rabbits."

"The hell?"

"We must save the fuzzy wuzziekins before those evil men hurt them. And then maybe I can play with one."

Jaquee grabbed her press pass and keys and headed out the door. Emmer stood still for a minute until Jaquee came back in.

"Hey Emmer, have you seen my pants?"

"Ugh. They are not paying me enough for this."

Game Day Four

Druida 0 - 2 Robotopolis
Inbreedia 4 - 2 Fmjphoenix
South Osettia 7 - 7 Formal Dances (SO 5 - 5 FD in shootout)

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Formal Dances 4 3 0 1 0 17 10 7 +7
Robotopolis 4 3 1 0 0 12 8 6 +4
Hockey Canada 3 2 1 0 0 8 6 4 +2
South Osettia 3 1 1 1 1 19 19 4 +0
Inbreedia 4 1 3 0 1 11 17 3 -6
Druida 3 1 2 0 0 5 7 2 -2
Fmjphoenix 3 0 3 0 0 4 9 0 -5

Euroslavia 4 - 6 Tanah Burung (EUR 2 - 4 TB in shootout)
Oliverry 3 - 4 Krytenia (OLI 2 - 3 KRY in shootout)
Iansisle 3 - 2 Hisam

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Tanah Burung 4 3 0 1 0 18 11 7 +7
Krytenia 3 2 0 1 0 10 8 5 +2
Euroslavia 3 2 1 0 1 10 8 5 +2
Oliverry 4 2 2 0 1 8 10 5 -2
Iansisle 3 2 1 0 0 8 8 4 +0
Squornshelous 3 0 3 0 1 3 7 1 -4
Hisam 4 0 4 0 0 4 10 0 -6

Kericia 1 - 2 Fimble loving peoples
Lovisa 3 - 2 Pablicosta
Kalaallit Nunaat 5 - 1 Corneliu

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Fimble loving peoples 4 3 0 1 0 12 9 7 +3
Kalaallit Nunaat 3 2 1 0 0 12 7 4 +5
Kericia 3 2 1 0 0 6 4 4 +2
Lovisa 4 1 2 1 1 13 18 4 -5
Pablicosta 3 1 1 1 0 11 10 3 +1
Very Angry Rabbits 3 1 2 0 0 8 6 2 +2
Corneliu 4 0 3 1 0 7 15 1 -8

Chicanada 2 - 1Vilita
Liverpool England 4 - 2 Cognative
Harlesburg 0 - 1 Tonissia

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Chicanada 3 3 0 0 0 10 2 6 +8
Liverpool England 4 2 2 0 1 13 10 5 +3
Tonissia 4 2 1 1 0 11 12 5 -1
Starblaydia 3 2 1 0 0 8 8 4 +0
Cognative 3 1 1 1 0 13 14 3 -1
Harlesburg 3 1 2 0 0 3 5 2 -2
Vilita 4 0 4 0 0 4 9 0 -5

SPORTSBLURB!

Due to an outbreak of fever, Iansislean clerks have been unable to compile either a SPORTSBLURB! or the promised Mid-Cup Awards. It will be coming as soon as possible. Please use this time to correct any mathematical errors in the tables, as we are sure there are some. Once again, we apologize for the delay and thank you for your patience.

EDIT: Thanks to the Very Attentive Rabbits for catching the date error. :)

OOC: Get well soon!

OOC: guess it's a bad time to say "It's your baby"


lol

(Sister Hale Maria recommends a nice rabbit soup for what ails you. Will post a real report when i can think of something to say.)

Tagged for later. Get well soon Iansisle!

And I thought I developed Paris' wonkey eyes for a second seeing my countrys goal diff. What a difference a cup makes indeed!

Bobby Mandernin reports from Iansisle:

"In the Syrups' locker room things are a bit down. The teams first ever loss folowing two amazingly good games has the team at very low moral. The last game a tighter affair than it appeared was hard faught by both sides as a lucky break gave Liverpool England a goal late on a 5-3 powerplay. The Syrups faught back hard but could not find the equalizer. A empty-netter with twelve seconds left clinched the game. "I blame myself for the loss, I left our older guys in too long hoping for a good break but it cost us with our energy." The Syrups will continue gameplay tomorrow as they look to turn around a bad day and get back into the winner's attitude.

(Sister Hale Maria recommends a nice rabbit soup for what ails you. Will post a real report when i can think of something to say.)Ruppert the Incompetent was thinking more along the lines of the medicinal benefit of a nice Cassowary Casserole.

All those sacked-up rabbits send "Get Well" wishes, Ian.

As luck would have it, the day following the never to be forgotten pirate raid on the now historic "Game of Six Words" between FLP and VAR, which culminated in the infamous rabbit sacking, was a "bye" for the Artic Hares. This, of course, meant that even though the Artic Hares were unable to show up for the game, since there was no game for which to show up, their up-showing failure was...um...now, where was I?

Oh - yes. Their failure to show up didn't effect the outcome of the game that wasn't. Or, something along those lines.

Meanwhile, it behoves you, gentle reader, to remember the physical makeup of the common hare. The rabbit. The "fuzzy wuzzy liddle bunikins".

They are rodents. They have teeth. Prominent, sharp, effective teeth.

No sack can hold 'em long.

And no sack did.

It was only a matter of moments after the pirates left the Artic Hares sacked-up in their larder and went off to find the remaining ingredients - you don't remember the remaining ingredients? Well, take another look at the tape.

...“Wait a mo’, Smee…sack ‘o rabbits…sack ‘o carrots…cauldron…does ya see a pattern ‘ere?”

“Er…well…ah, Cap’n, Oi nevah got past the second grade.”

“Never you mind, Smee. Just ‘ave one ‘o the crew fetch a sack ‘o potatoes, and some celery, and one fine Vidalia onion!”...

As I was saying, it was only a few moments after the pirates had gone off in search of the remaining ingredients of a fine rabbit stew that the Artic Hares had chewed their way out of the burlap sacks.

Oh, certainly there were some hare-raising moments (here the narrator can be heard to chuckle) during their escape from the pirates lair. But escape they did. I mean, have you ever tried to catch a frightened rabbit? 'Nuff said.

We may well hear from these pirates again - they're a stubborn lot, and wont', we feel, accept the loss of their dinner easily. That, at the moment, is neither here nor there. Well, of course it really is here or there - it has to be somewhere, and with here or there - well, there arent any other choices, are there?

But I digress...

For the moment, it is sufficient for us to know that the Very Angry Rabbits Artic Hares are, aside from a bruise here and a bump there, no worse for the wear, and ready for their next game (versus Pablicosta) in Cherry Cup XII.

Games Played to Date
Game Day One Scores:
Fimble loving peoples 2 - 1 Kalaallit Nunaat
Very Angry Rabbits 2 - 3 Kericia
Corneliu 5 - 5 Lovisa (Corn 4 - 4 Lov in shootout)
Pablicosta - bye

Game Day Two Scores:
Kericia 2 - 0 Corneliu
Very Angry Rabbits 5 - 1 Lovisa
Fimble loving peoples 6 - 6 Pablicosta (FLP 3 - 3 PAB in shootout)
Kalaallit Nunaat – bye

Game Day Three:
Fimble loving peoples 2 - 1 Very Angry Rabbits
Kalaallit Nunaat 6 - 4 Lovisa
Corneliu 3 - 1 Pablicosta
Kericia – bye

Game Day Four:
Kericia 1 - 2 Fimble loving peoples
Lovisa 3 - 2 Pablicosta
Kalaallit Nunaat 5 - 1 Corneliu
Very Angry Rabbits – bye

Remaining Schedule
Game Day Five:
Very Angry Rabbits vs Pablicosta
Kericia vs Kalaallit Nunaat
Fimble loving peoples vs Corneliu
Lovisa – bye

Game Day Six:
Lovisa vs Fimble loving peoples
Kericia vs Pablicosta
Very Angry Rabbits vs Kalaallit Nunaat
Corneliu – bye

Game Day Seven:
Lovisa vs Kericia
Corneliu vs Very Angry Rabbits
Kalaallit Nunaat vs Pablicosta
Fimble loving peoples – bye

(Note - the only math error we could find was at the very top of the results from day 4 - where someone in the Ians-silly-an Statistics Department took "Game Day Three" added "One" and got..."Game Day Three"...)

Game Day Five

Hockey Canada 4 - 1 Fmjphoenix
Druida 6 - 5 South Osettia (DRU 4 - 3 SO in shootout)
Robotopolis 5-4 Formal Dances (ROB 4 - 3 FD in shootout)

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Formal Dances 5 3 1 1 1 21 15 8 +6
Robotopolis 5 4 1 0 0 17 12 8 +5
Hockey Canada 4 3 1 0 0 12 7 6 +5
South Osettia 4 1 2 1 2 24 25 5 -1
Druida 4 2 2 0 0 11 12 4 -1
Inbreedia 4 1 3 0 1 11 17 3 -6
Fmjphoenix 4 0 4 0 0 5 13 0 -8

Squornshelous 3 - 1 Krytenia
Euroslavia 7 - 8 Iansisle (EUR 3 - 4 IAN in shootout)
Tanah Burung 3 - 4 Hisam

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Tanah Burung 5 3 1 1 0 21 15 7 +6
Euroslavia 4 2 2 0 2 17 16 6 +1
Iansisle 4 3 1 0 0 16 15 6 +1
Krytenia 4 2 1 1 0 11 11 5 +0
Oliverry 4 2 2 0 1 8 10 5 -2
Squornshelous 4 1 3 0 1 6 8 3 -2
Hisam 5 1 4 0 0 8 13 2 -5

Very Angry Rabbits 3 - 1 Pablicosta
Kercia 3 - 4 Kalaallit Nunaat
Fimble loving peoples 5 - 5 Corneliu (FLP 3 - 3 CORN in shootout)

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Fimble loving peoples 5 3 0 2 0 17 14 8 +3
Kalaallit Nunaat 4 3 1 0 0 16 10 6 +6
Very Angry Rabbits 4 2 2 0 0 11 7 4 +4
Kericia 4 2 2 0 0 9 8 4 +1
Lovisa 4 1 2 1 1 13 18 4 -5
Pablicosta 4 1 2 1 0 12 13 3 -1
Corneliu 2 0 3 2 0 12 20 2 -8

Starblaydia 4 - 3 Cognative
Chicanada 4 - 1 Harlesburg
Vilita 0 - 1 Tonissia

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Chicanada 4 4 0 0 0 14 4 8 +10
Tonissia 5 3 1 1 0 12 12 7 +0
Starblaydia 4 3 1 0 0 12 11 6 +1
Liverpool England 4 2 2 0 1 13 10 5 +3
Cognative 4 1 2 1 0 16 18 3 -2
Harlesburg 4 1 3 0 0 4 9 2 -5
Vilita 5 0 5 0 0 4 10 0 -6

SPORTSBLURB!

Robots close gap with Dancers to a single goal, Flyers close behind ... Ice Cats losing streak extended to an unprecedented five straight games ... Curse broken? Squornshelous wins - in Iansisle ... All people under 5 feet tall no prohibited from playing hockey by the Assembly in desperate attempt to stunt Starblaydia’s growth ... Tonissia continues surprising run; revenge for star player murdered in CCXI? ... Rabbits, Iceberg force their way back into Foppa fight ... only three teams still winless; Chicanada, FLP only unbeaten teams ... Iansisle extends heartfelt gratitude to all well-wishers and vows to update on time here on out ....

SPECIAL MID-CUP AWARD CEREMONY!

Tom Grig Lamplighting Award

South Osettia - 24 goals
Formal Dances, Tanah Burung - 21 goals

Adam Foote Crushing Defense Award

Chicanada - 4 goals allowed
Hockey Canada, Very Angry Rabbits, Tonissia - 7 goals allowed

Don Cherry's Favorite Award

Chicanada - 8 points, +10 GD

Squornshelous "What happened!?" Award

Vilita - 4th seed, 0 points
Squornshelous - 9th seed, 3 points

Fimble loving peoples "Out of nowhere!" Award

Krytenia - 2-1-1, +0
Cognative - 1-2-1, -2

This is YET ANOTHER Public Service Anouncement brought to you by the Hockey Board Of Krytenia (HBK), and sponsored by Titan Mushrooms.
Pah!

You think because we lost one, we're going to go off crying? You have much to learn, ignorant whelps.

We were born on the ice. We shall die on the ice. And we'll take whoever we have to with us. We are not finished with you yet, Squornshelous! And the same goes for anyone who tries to get in our way!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!
This has been another Public Service Announcement brought to you by the HBK, and sponsored by Titan Mushrooms.

ChicanadaSun
Yay gossipy Goodness!

Whosa-Whatsa-Wheresa-Huh?!
Kodiaks roll off fourth straight win

SOMEWHERE IN IANSISLE - After yet another shocking win, this time a tad closer 2-1 victory over the Ice Kitties (Ice Kitties? I wonder if they are cuter than rararas?) of Vilita, Chicanada pounded the team from Harlesburg for their fourth win of the tournament and inching them ever so closer to the round of 16.

Which, to remind everyone, is the round they missed in the last Cherry Cup. Yeah, the one they hosted.

Things have been looking up for the CHC as they continue to play tighter defense and, unlike the weird match with Starblaydia, are not being hit with as many penalties missed from either side and are also fairing a bit better in the fighting area. Of course the CHL Board waived the "fight=suspension" rule, wouldn't you.

Bipsy, Page 4 Girl, said she's been impressed with how the Kodiaks are handling the pressure and are heading towards her giving them a "smack bottom" for their excellent play. Aw, that Bipsy, ever the naughty girl.

No word on Jaquee right now. We assume she's founf some fuzzie wuzzies or Sister Hale Maria and just having a grand ole' time.

Chicanada's Schedule:

Day One: Chicanada 4, Starblaydia 1 (Barazin 3, York 1)
Day Two: Chicanada 4, Tonissa 1 (Barazin 3, Los 1)
Day Three: off day
Day Four: Chicanada 2, Vilita 1
Day Five: Chicanada 4, Harlesburg 0
Day Six: Chicanada v Cognative Superios
Day Seven: Chicanada v Liverpool England

Meanwhile

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

"Oh knock it off you twit!"

"The fuzziewuzzies are free!"

"Can we go back to the hotel yet? I need to shower."

"Not until we say hi like the total fangirls we are."

"..."

"Ok, not until I say hi like the total fangirl I am."

"Much better. Ooh look, something shiny!"

"Huh? Whr....."

*clank*

Emmer finally knocked Jaquee out with the Magical Frying Pan of Talent and drove the car back to the hotel, where she soaked in the bathtub for five hours while Jaquee nursed her head wounds with a scotch and the Head of Internal Security.

um...a wizard did it?

*Usual cheesy music plays*

"So yeah. I still have my job, it sucks for you viewers, but they pay me a ton so I'm not gonna step down no matter how poor this is."

"FLP remain unbeaten as they notch a second draw and stay top. But with the Iceberg gaining momentum and VAR escaping from those sacks group victory may not be easy."

"And an award has been named after FLP due to their brilliance a few cups back, probably the debut back in VIII, although officials are keeping quiet about the fact that such an award should probably go to the unstoppable robotic side and are revelling in its beautiful glory."

"And in the event of winning the cup named after them, the FLP has sent out a message of praise to Krytenia and hope they make the second round. And because none of them won it, they have sent a message to everyone else in their group to start playing less well."

"My work here is done. I'll be back tomorrow."

*Man wanders off, without trousers on, clearly drunk.*

Hockey Canada beats Fmjphoenix. Title is pretty obvious.

With all the commotion going on, Hockey Canada was able to beat Fmjphoenix 4-1 in Torpedo System Division action. Hugh Budziarek contributed early in the first with a one-timer and then Dave Semenko scored 2 minutes later on a typical slapshot. Kyle Thomas kept his scoring streak alive scoring on his avergae breakaway, and Dylan Charbonneau scored (goalie) when he iced the puck but somehow went behind the Fmjphoenix goalie.

A bad goal was scored on Charbonneau when he was down and a Fmjphoenix player just flipped the puck over him. But it doesn't matter as Hockey Canada jumped into second 2 points behind Robotopolis and Formal Dances, but a game in hand. We're confident we'll catch up... we're just starting later.

In an arena, near Ianapalis....
Coach Larache: Now, we need to play better. Be inspired by Francois Laroche. He was the guy with the most sportive spirit in the team. Well, if we exclude Cherry Cup X but we all know he did this because he was going to die. Anyway, you know what is our strategy right?
Some other players: no...
Coach Larache: What are you saying? You don't know our strategy... It's the an offensive one. But we do have 2 good goalies so it doesn't matter. I hate those international rinks. Atleast, when we hosted the cup, we were playing on Club rink(NHL rink). Anyway, people, let's practice the strategy again. Go

And the players practiced their strategy for the next game...

((Well, I know I said no more tardy results - but I had an essay to write :())

Game Day Six

Inbreedia 3 - 2 Robotopolis
Druida 1 - 3 Fmjphoenix
Hockey Canada 6 - 6 South Osettia (HC 3 - 3 SO in shootout)

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Formal Dances 5 3 1 1 1 21 15 8 +6
Robotopolis 6 4 2 0 0 19 15 8 +4
Hockey Canada 5 3 1 1 0 18 13 7 +5
South Osettia 5 1 2 2 2 30 31 6 -1
Inbreedia 5 2 3 0 1 14 19 5 -5
Druida 5 2 3 0 0 12 15 4 -3
Fmjphoenix 5 1 4 0 0 8 14 2 -6

Oliverry 3 - 2 Tanah Burung
Euroslavia 2 - 1 Krytenia
Squornshelous 4 - 5 Iansisle

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Iansisle 5 4 1 0 0 22 19 8 +2
Euroslavia 5 3 2 0 2 19 17 8 +2
Tanah Burung 6 3 2 1 0 24 17 7 +5
Oliverry 5 3 2 0 1 11 12 7 -1
Krytenia 5 2 2 1 0 12 13 5 -1
Squornshelous 5 1 4 0 1 10 13 3 -3
Hisam 5 1 4 0 0 8 13 2 -5

Lovisa 3 - 2 Fimble loving peoples
Kericia 3 - 5 Pablicosta
Very Angry Rabbits 3 - 4 Kalaallit Nunaat

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Kalaallit Nunaat 5 4 1 0 0 20 13 8 +7
Fimble loving peoples 6 3 1 2 0 19 17 8 +2
Lovisa 5 2 2 1 1 16 20 6 -4
Pablicosta 5 2 2 1 0 17 16 5 +1
Very Angry Rabbits 5 2 3 0 0 14 11 4 +3
Kericia 5 2 3 0 0 12 13 4 -1
Corneliu 5 0 3 2 0 12 20 2 -8

Liverpool England 5 - 3 Vilita
Chicanada 2 - 1 Cognative
Starblaydia 2 - 3 Harlesburg

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Chicanada 5 5 0 0 0 16 5 10 +11
Liverpool England 5 3 2 0 1 18 13 7 +5
Tonissia 5 3 1 1 0 12 12 7 +0
Starblaydia 5 3 2 0 0 14 14 6 +0
Harlesburg 5 2 3 0 0 7 11 4 -4
Cognative 5 1 3 1 0 17 20 3 -3
Vilita 6 0 6 0 0 7 15 0 -8

SPORTSBLURB!

Gulls cheer curse, beat Squornshelos in bid to be first host to qualify for their own Cup since Oliverry ... FUN FACT: Liverpool England and Oliverry are the only hosts since the Gulf States in Cherry Cup V to qualify for the knockout round from the qualifiers. Squornshelos missed CCVI, Iansisle auto-qualified as host for CCVIII, Tanah Burung missed CC X, and Chicanada missed CCXI ... Cup of Contrasts? - Chicanada has won five straight, Vilita lost six straight ... Tanah Burung looks in trouble to qualify out of Belarus division, tied with Oliverry and with no remaining games ... Inbreedia plays spoiler in Robot's splendid campaign ... Relatively new teams Formal Dances, Chicanada share top slots with hardened veterans Iansisle and Kalaallit Nunaat ... four teams compete to slouch into the third spot in the Foppa Faux Pas division ... Krytenia loses; threatening missive expected shortly ... Bipsy the Page 4 Girl receives numerous death threats ...

((ooc again: FLP hit the nail on the head. That award was because of his splendid CCVIII preformance. Although I certainly do not deny that Robotopolis has made a bigger splash in the CC community than any other rookie/returning rookie team, I chose FLP because he made his splash in the same Cup in which the "Squornshelous curse" originated :). Hooray for robots AND fimbles ;)))

EDIT: Oh, and as it appears that I'll be qualifying for my own Cup (surprise! and :P to TB and Chi), I'll need someone to scorinate my games. Send me a TG with your e-mail and I'll send the spreadsheet and some instructions to you. Cheers, Ian

"We're here again outside the Syrups locker room as we sit in wait for a press conference with Coach Nolan." whispers CSN sports corespondent Bradley Flemm. "Aparently there is allot of stuff going on in the locker room... we can hear the weeping and gnashing of teeth from out here. There must be something big to be announced.... oh heres Coach Nolan."

*The coach walks out from the dressing room and calmly steps to the mike.*

"I have only one thing to say; I am very very proud of my boys, oh umm, and girls and their efforts here in Iansisle. We have fought hard and made a name for ourselves in the international sports scene. Several of our players have decided to end their careers here. Something about joining the International curling circuit, so we will have some new players next year... but we will be strong and who knows maybe if we can get those winning goals instead of the other teams, maybe our record will be much different next year."

*Teddy steps away from the mike and shakes his head for a second, then comes back forward, obviously having a bit more to say.*

"These guys fought so hard, and having two one goal losses to much stronger more experienced teams is an amazing effort on their parts. I just hope we can keep it up and maybe take one more victory in this tournament."

*With that Coach Nolan steps away from the mike refusing to answer any questions in either french or english*

"And that ends the news conference with Coach Nolan, a beautiful speech, I hope he stays wiht the team. This is Bradley Flemm signing off from somewhere in Iansisle."

ChicanadaSun
Yay gossipy Goodness!

Bipsy Flees From Gulls!
Page 4 Sweetheart Returns to Jaxx Amid Death Threats

JAXX - Reports of her death being greatly exaggerated, Page 4 Girl Bipsy returned to her hometown of Jaxx amid a swirling controversy that several teams sought to silence to lady for her potty mouth, sexual ambition and her lack of clothes.

Which we of course figured would be popular in hockey.

Reports from the Chicanadan Consolate at the Iansisle capital reports threats from some unknown female were directed at Bipsy due to the "scandalous nature of her attire" as well as rumors of her becomming rather close friends with several teams that shall remain unnamed. Iansisle police have been unable to confirm the death threats and were unable to offer any major protection so us being the good company we are sent a jet out for her.

Bipsy said yesterday "Ya'll jus' jellus of mah sexy body! Just cuz I have a nice rack that guys love and adore and spill things on doesn't mean ya'll shouyld be hatin on me! I has feelings too!" before being escorted by about 45 males to her homestead on the outside of the city.

ChicandaSun.org will still have Page 4 reports from all the games, as more clean cut, currently engaged and clothes-wearing sweetheart H'koi will be making the trip for the Kodiaks matches.

In other news, the Kodiaks have all but been officially named as a final 16 qualifier with a 2-1 victory over Cognative Superios. Their 10 points and 5-0-0 record is the best performance by any Kodiak squad (in three cups, anyways) and is three points ahead of Tonissa and their final opponents from Liverpool England. Why they won't just say we're in, we'll never know.

Chicanada's Schedule:

Day One: Chicanada 4, Starblaydia 1 (Barazin 3, York 1)
Day Two: Chicanada 4, Tonissa 1 (Barazin 3, Los 1)
Day Three: off day
Day Four: Chicanada 2, Vilita 1
Day Five: Chicanada 4, Harlesburg 0
Day Six: Chicanada 2, Cognative Superios 1
Day Seven: Chicanada v Liverpool England

ChicanadaSun.ORG's projected final 16 (* - essentially in)

(top threes from each group)
Formal Dances
Robotopolis
Hockey Canada
Iansisle
Euroslavia
Oliverry
Kalaallit Nunaat *
Fimble loving peoples *
Very Angry Rabbits
Chicanada *
Liverpool England
Starblaydia

(at large slots)
Tanah Burung
Tonissia
Lovisa
Inbreedia

We wash our hands of the HBK on this one.

Never mind the turkey shoot, we're gonna go shoot ourselves some Gulls.

We're not going to lie down and let them win. Oh no. We need six goals. And we shall get those six goals. And we shall knock down anything in a red shirt that even attempts to get in the way.

The Aces shall rise again. We shall not be denied. Listen to these words and be afeared.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!!

We warned you....

Is it something in the water?

Iansislean curse persists

The Squornshelan Ferrets have recorded only 3 points to this point in the Cherry Cup. This is, obviously, ana amazing disappointment after last Cup's 9th place finish. Another sign of bad times is that even with our horrible record, we can only manage a runner-up showing in the award category named after us, as 4th seed Vilita have yet to earn a single point. This has prompted an idea for a Ferrets vs Ice Cats friendly once both teams are eliminated from the cup, as they inevitably will be. The loser of that game, hsould then be rewarded with the Squornshelous "What Happened?!" Award.

Druida fan #1: "So that's it."

Druida fan #2: "We're out."

Druida fan #1: "Does that mean we can go home now?"

Druida fan #2: "Not yet, we've still got a game to go. We follow our team through thick and thin. Unless we're playing Inbreedia, that lot scare me."

Druida fan #1: "And who are we playing?"

Druida fan #2: "Um, let me have a look... We're playing... see who can get a flight back to Cefn-Mawr International the quickest."

Druida fan #2 runs away at full pelt.

Druida fan #1: "Never heard of 'em... hey, where you going?"

*The music that will melt your ears*

"Well, like I said just a couple of days ago, qualification for the next round is far from certain. By that I mean Lovisa beat us and we probably won't make the next round."

"This means I'll be out of a job until the next tournament..........."

"I'm gonna speak to the authorities about this. i can't be without a job. You hear me team. My job rests on you doing well.So bloody win!"

"I'm so angry right now, I'm not even gonna finish the broadcast."

*Muffled speaking*

"No. I'm not going to report on the fact that Druida now has no fans, or that Squornshelous seem to be losing again, or the maybe-death of Bipsy. If the team won't bloody win, I'm not gonna report on it. I hate you."

*Man gets out from behind the desk and attempts to storm out, but trips over some wiring*

The Department of Sports, Games, and Recreation was quick to answer the HBK's latest threatening message.

"We're really not all that offended by the death threats," said Director Sir Gregory Penns-McCormick, "but really! - red shirts? Only the heathen Iceberg of Kalaallit Nunaat (or the Ians of the old World Cup, I suppose) wear those! Our Gulls have always been proud in orange and blue (http://www.sandiegomag.com/issues/february00/images/gulls.jpg) uniforms, and by God they will be triumphant in them!"

...All the rabbits (and suspected non-rabbits) are tired today. Otto has insisted on double practices ever since the Artic Hares escaped from the pirates. That barely left any time at all for drunken carousing...but these rabbits have their priorities in order...inebriated conga lines of very odd looking people with suspiciously long ears, accompanied by two giraffes, an aligator, a kangaroo, and a yak * have been seen "parading" through town at all hours. After all, if one can't celebrate a victory with slooshing beer (and a variety of interesting companion beverages of an alcoholic nature), then one can drown ones sorrows over a loss with slooshing beer (and a variety of interesting companion beverages...you get the picture)...

*...oh, yes. and a partridge in a pear tree.

-------------------------------------------------------

ooc: Too much work, not enough sleep...

Game Day Seven

Inbreedia 2 - 3 Druida
Formal Dances 4 - 1 Hockey Canada
South Osettia 2 - 3 Fmjphoenix

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Formal Dances 6 4 1 1 1 25 16 10 +9
Robotopolis 6 4 2 0 0 19 15 8 +4
Hockey Canada 6 3 2 1 0 19 17 7 +2
South Osettia 6 1 3 2 2 32 34 6 -2
Druida 6 3 3 0 0 15 17 6 -2
Inbreedia 6 2 4 0 1 15 22 5 -6
Fmjphoenix 6 2 4 0 0 11 16 4 -5

Oliverry 4 - 1 Euroslavia
Hisam 3 - 0 Squornshelous
Iansisle 1 - 2 Krytenia

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Oliverry 6 4 2 0 1 15 13 9 +2
Iansisle 6 4 2 0 0 23 21 8 +1
Euroslavia 6 3 3 0 2 20 21 8 -1
Tanah Burung 6 3 2 1 0 24 17 7 +5
Krytenia 6 6 2 1 0 14 14 7 +0
Hisam 6 2 4 0 0 11 13 4 -2
Squornshelous 6 1 5 0 1 10 16 3 -6

Lovisa 4 - 5 Kericia
Corneliu 1 - 2 Very Angry Rabbits
Kalaallit Nunaat 4 - 2 Pablicosta

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Kalaallit Nunaat 6 5 1 0 0 24 15 10 +9
Fimble loving peoples 6 3 1 2 0 19 17 8 +2
Very Angry Rabbits 6 3 3 0 0 16 12 6 +4
Kericia 6 3 3 0 0 17 17 6 +0
Lovisa 6 2 3 1 1 20 25 6 -5
Pablicosta 6 2 3 1 0 19 20 5 -1
Corneliu 6 0 4 2 0 13 22 2 -9

Liverpool England 2 - 3 Chicanada
Tonissia 1 - 4 Starblaydia
Harlesburg 8 - 9 Cognative (Harlesburg 4 - 5 Cognative in shootout)

Team GP W L D OL GF GA Pts GD
Chicanada 6 6 0 0 0 19 7 12 +12
Starblaydia 6 4 2 0 0 18 15 8 +3
Liverpool England 6 3 3 0 1 20 16 7 +4
Tonissia 6 3 2 1 0 13 16 7 -3
Cognative 6 2 3 1 0 26 28 5 -2
Harlesburg 6 2 4 0 1 15 20 5 -5
Vilita 6 0 6 0 0 7 15 0 -8

Your Cherry Cup XII Knockout Round!

Canada Division
1 - #23 FORMAL DANCES (10 pts, +9)
2 - #13 OLIVERRY (9 pts, +2)
3 - #1 ROBOTOPOLIS (8 pts, +4)
4 - #12 IANSISLE (8 pts, +2)
6 - #16 EUROSLAVIA (8 pts, -1)
5 - #7 HOCKEY CANADA (7 pts, +2)
7 - #2 TANAH BURUNG (7 pts, +5, WC)
8 - #35 KRYTENIA (7pts, +0, WC)

Schedule:

FORMAL DANCES v. KRYTENIA
OLIVERRY v. TANAH BURUNG
ROBOTOPOLIS v. HOCKEY CANADA
IANSISLE v. EUROSLAVIA

Sweden Division

1 - #18 CHICANADA (12 pts, +12)
2 - #11 KALAALLIT NUNAAT (10 pts, +9)
3 - #5 STARBLAYDIA (8 pts, +3)
4 - #3 FIMBLE LOVING PEOPLES (8 pts, +2)
5 - #14 LIVERPOOL ENGLAND (7 pts, +4)
6 - #6 VERY ANGRY RABBITS (6 pts, +4)
7 - #24 TONISSIA (7 pts, -3, WC)
8 - #17 KERICIA (6 pts, +0, WC)

Schedule:

CHICANADA v. KERICIA
KALAALLIT NUNAAT v. TONISSIA
STARBLAYDIA v. VERY ANGRY RABBITS
FIMBLE LOVING PEOPLES v. LIVERPOOL ENGLAND

SPORTSBLURB! and Final Awards will be coming soon! :)

ooc: Congrats to the other 15 teams who made the knockout round. I'd also like to take this time to offer apologies to all those teams - and especially Vilita O_o - who took the time to RP but were not rewarded with a KO round slot. I do hope you will all sign up to play another Cherry Cup with us! :)

On a related note, I still need someone to scorinate the Iansisle v. Euroslavia game - I don't want my inevitable victory to be tainted by allegations of cheating ;). Shoot me a TG if you're interested!

Could we sign up for the next one?

ooc: Kalaalit should have the next round of sign-ups up soon for everyone as well as for those who wish to bid to host. (Yay, I get to help decide that again!)

ChicanadaSun.org

CCXII's Knockouts: We See Rayzors and Gulls In The Grand Finals, Stopping Canadians and Kodiaks

Leave it to the Chicanadan Sun to report on what we think is gonna happen:

Canada Regionals:

FORMAL DANCES v. KRYTENIA
OLIVERRY v. TANAH BURUNG
ROBOTOPOLIS v. HOCKEY CANADA
IANSISLE v. EUROSLAVIA

Formal Dances, a shoking winner of their region, should have no problem with Krytenia. Tanah has been reeling since their second place finish in Cherry Cup Chicanada and might get tripped by Oliverry. The Robots struggled since winning their first title and HC has enough to knock out the defending champs. Host nation Iansisle should easily advance over Euroslavia.

Sweden Regionals:

CHICANADA v. KERICIA
KALAALLIT NUNAAT v. TONISSIA
STARBLAYDIA v. VERY ANGRY RABBITS
FIMBLE LOVING PEOPLES v. LIVERPOOL ENGLAND

Chicanada's rematch with Kericia from last cup's 19th place game should swing in favor of the shocking Kodiaks. The Icebergs from Kalaallit might struggle with fellow surprise Tonissa but should move on. A battle Jaquee will love might break in favor of the Rararas but we expect the Rayzors to continue their winning streak. The Fimbles and LE might be the flip-a-coin match.

Predicted Regional Semifinals:

FORMAL DANCES v HOCKEY CANADA
OLIVERRY v IANSISLE

Both matches scream flip-a-coin but expect a HC/Ian final from Sweden.

CHICANADA v LIVERPOOL ENGLAND
KALAALLIT NUNAAT v STARBLAYDIA

Chicanada gets a rematch with LE and we think it won't be as close as the Kodiaks let it be in their final match. Kodiaks and Rayzors in Canada.

Final 4:

HOCKEY CANADA v IANSISLE

Hosts win. 'Nuff said.

CHICANADA v STARBLAYDIA

If Iansislian things happen, the Kodiaks could slide into the Championship match. But we expect the Rayzors to stop the Kodiaks here.

Grand Final:

IANSISLE v STARBLAYDIA

This will be a bloody match, but we see the Rayzors skating off with yet another CC Crown over the Gulls.

Euroslavia loses to Oliverry, but still advances to playoffs

In a shocking development, the Phantoms from Euroslavia clinched their own playoff berth in their division, despite the season not being finished. It was mathematically impossible for any of the other nations to score enough points to pass them. The game with Oliverry was ultimately for the division championship though, and the Phantoms fell short of their usual performance with an embarrassing defeat, losing 4-1.

The Phantoms are looking to get back together and prove themselves by going up against one of the favorites to win this Cup, Iansisle. Not much is really expected from the team from Euroslavia, except that they are going to give it their all and fight for an upset.

On a related note, I still need someone to scorinate the Iansisle v. Euroslavia game - I don't want my inevitable victory to be tainted by allegations of cheating . Shoot me a TG if you're interested!

Hey now, don't count us out yet. Perhaps I can scorinate the game for ya? I swear, I won't cheat.... ;)

For the sake of our sanity, this HBK Announcement has been censored to filter out any xenophobic messages.



<CENSORED>
<CENSORED>
<CENSORED>
<CENSORED>
<CENSORED>
<CENSORED>

AAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!


Thank you.

Sister Hale Maria was in the dressing room, offering the Cassowaries intensive language lessons for their upcoming clash with Oliverry.

"Victoire aux Cassowaries," she said. "Now repeat it, all of you. Repetez."

"Victoire aux Cassowaries," they echoed back.

"Good. Now trash talk. Here's some. She cleared her throat, delicately.

"Ta guele," she enunciated carefully. "Repetez."

"Ta guele!" the team echoed enthusiastically.

"A bas Oliverry."

"Abba Oliverry!" The Cassowaries had more trouble with this phrase.

"Tabern--" She stopped herself. That one was too rude for a nun. Anyway, it was enough.

"Rosaries at the ready, boys! To battle! Vive les Cassowaries!"

In the locker room, after the win against Euroslavia...

Coach Larache: "Calisse! Yes! We're finally back in the top of international hockey. I heard by some journalists that the Cassowaries, our next opponents, tried to speak french. But, I know that they republically(that's how we say royally in Oliverry, since royalty is illegal in the country) failed. Anyway, what do we need to do people?"
Other players:"Beat the Cassowaries!"
Coach Larache: "I didn't understand"
Other players:"Beat the Cassowaries!"
Coach Larache: "Good! gang. Now, let's go to the nightclub next to the arena and let's celebrate our Belarus Division championship"

OOC: And, by the way Tanah Burung, we write "Ta gueule" or "Tayeule"

Kericia Emerges from Month-Long National Blackout; Happily Realize Seagulls are in Knockout Round

KNS
May 2 05

It's been almost an entire month since Kericia was hit with a series of storms that knocked out power for the entire nation. Kericians were left to wonder just how their Seagulls were faring, not knowing if the team had even made it to the tournament. The population was amazed when they learned of Kericia's successes. One cup after the 'Gulls just barely missed the playoffs, they squeaked into the knockout round with a 3-3 record. Despite the disaster that had occured in their homeland, the Seagulls played on, with goalie Frank Soranno having some outstanding games, and look to continue their quest for the Cup against Chicanada.

*Music etc*

"Well, we still made it to the next round."

"We're up against Liverpool England, who insist on improving. They just seem to get better and better. Someone should put a stop to it."

"Plenty of other great matches in the second round too. But we're not interested in those, so I'll just start talking about random crap which has happened and no one cares about. Hurrah for men falling from great heights and surviving."

*Man begins to walk off, spins around, delivers a quick 'peace' sign, then trundles off*

"Coach Haztarr! Coach Haztarr!" the journalist shouted, "why haven't you been your usual outspoken self throughout Cherry Cup Twelve?"

"Ah've been droonk, ye dozy bastid!"

"But there have been no press conferences, no official statements, no fist-fights outside the teams hotel..."

"Ah said," Haztarr slurred, "Ah've been droonk. Now fook off ye rat bastid, I gotta sober up fer the last sixteen."

((sorry, sorry, sorry! I promise, from now on!, no more late scores! <_< >_>))

Canada Region

Formal Dances 4 - 1 Krytenia
Oliverry 3 - 2 Tanah Burung
Robotopolis 7 - 3 Hockey Canada (ROB 5 - 1 HC in one round of shootout)
Iansisle 3 - 1 Euroslavia (scorinated by Starblaydia)

Sweden Region

Chicanada 3 - 0 Kericia
Kalaallit Nunaat 6 - 5 Tonissia (KN 5 - 4 TON in one round of shootout)
Starblaydia 8 - 7 Very Angry Rabbits (STAR 4 - 3 VAR in one round of shootout)
Fimble loving peoples 0 - 1 Liverpool England

And then there were eight:

FORMAL DANCES v. OLIVERRY
ROBOTOPOLIS v. IANSISLE

CHICANADA v. KALAALLIT NUNAAT
STARBLAYDIA v. LIVERPOOL ENGLAND

SPORTSBLURB!

Young guns fair poorly in first round of Cherry Cup: Krytenia, Euroslavia, Tonissia, Kericia among relative newcomers knocked out by veterans ... Chicanada still undefeated; Kodiaks look like favorites for Don Cherry's Cup ... Iansislean Fimbles Union boycotts all Liverpudlian products ... Formal Dances waltzes into the second round ... Neither giant spiders nor being bilingual can save Tanah Burung from Oliverry's wrath ... Antistarblaydian League founder Throckmorten Alabaster jumps on ice to try and distrupt dwarven shot during Starblaydia-Very Angry Rabbits game; Mr Alabaster currently reported in stable condition with multiple axe wounds ... Tonissia barely avoids arctic vengence ... Flyers run out of gas against electric Robots ...

((ooc: and, due to this being finals week, I'm gonna have to push back the awards ceremony again. Terribly sorry; it will happen before the Cup is handed out, I assure you.

A million thanks to Starblaydia for scorinating my match (especially since I won :)). I don't suppose I could beg you to do it again, sometime in the next day or two?))

I could scorinate. I'll be on frequently from now on and I'm going to use Leagion more often. It may help for my bid next CC.

I could scorinate. I'll be on frequently from now on and I'm going to use Leagion more often. It may help for my bid next CC.

I already did it, I'm afraid, and we're using an excel sheet for this anyway.

*The same music*

"Well, I think FLPs glory days are behind them. The Cherry Cup seems to be attracting professionals and being able to skate seems to be a requirement for victory."

"But we did make the last 16 before dropping out, and there are no hard feelings toward LE about beating us."

"We look forward to ther next Cherry Cup, where victory will most likely not occur."

"Oh wow. A breaking story. Apparently no one actually watches hockey, and only found out about the loss because of this broadcast. In a hastily passed law, (Created, discussed and passed in under 30 seconds) anything Liverpudlian is banned until they learn to accept bribes."

"Well. I'm jobless now until the next competition. Hmmmm."I know what to do. If I find a weather balloon............"

*And the music signals the end*

Kericia Routed in First Round; Cherry Cup XII Over for Seagulls

KNS
May 5 05

Kericians disappointingly watched their national team lose their first post-qualifying game 3-0 to Chicanada. The team struggled on offense against the Chicanadian defense, whom allowed the least amount goals of any team during qualifying. But there is a bright side, however, and with the first round loss, Kericia is at worst the 16th ranked team, which is an improvement over the last cup. Coach Mark Fierro was interviewed following the tough defeat. When asked about any possible changes to the roster, he said, "We might make some changes, yeah. We need more size on the defensive end of the rink if we really want to compete." And on a rumored departure from Kericia's bench: "No, I don't plan on leaving, if that's what you mean. I think we're on the brink of a championship run, if everything falls just right."

Hey, Star, can I impose on you to sim my next game whevever you get the chance? Thanks a lot :)

Hey, Star, can I impose on you to sim my next game whevever you get the chance? Thanks a lot :)

I thought I already sent it to you through the wonderfulness of the official Telegram. Hmm, i'll send it again, then.

((I can see why you were eager to keep that score from me, Star :P))

Canada Region

Formal Dances 3 - 2 Oliverry
Iansisle 0 - 2 Robotopolis

Sweden Region

Chicanada 2 - 4 Kalaallit Nunaat
Starblaydia 3 - 4 Liverpool England

And then there were four:

ROBOTOPOLIS v. FORMAL DANCES

LIVERPOOL ENGLAND v. KALAALLIT NUNAAT

SPORTSBLURB!

Chicanadian reign of terror finally broken by damnable Iceberg ... Liverpool England awarded trophy by Antistarblaydian League ... All robots banned from Iansisle - "We got the idea from Greenland," say lawmakers, "Oh, and Dune!" ... Running low on puns, Formal Dances break their way past Oliverry ...

*pouts* Of course I lost :'(

Congrats to the Final 4!

Oliverry loses, but isn't affected by it
Controversial Cherry Cup IX winners Oliverry lost today in the Quarter-final phase of the Cherry Cup XII in Iansisle. Jean-Francois Larache, the coach, declared: "We lost in Quarter-finals. For a team that is ranked 14th, that's a pretty good job! We evolved from a 14th placed team to a division champion. So, basically, we were on the 4 best of the cup. But, we were eliminated at the Quarter-final phase. Now, we need to improve for the next Cherry Cup". The other players agreed. So, every other nations should chack Oliverry for next cup.

Someone want to send me a TG with links to CC13 signup thread, in case I don't catch it first. Gotta get back to winning sometime.

OOC: Can it be...it is! It's a news post!

*static*"...declaration..."*more static*"...no longer..."*static? you bet!*"..with a big bowl of applesauce."

*As the TV sceen finally clears, this guy can be seen sitting behind a tesk in a very shiny and high-tech newsroom: http://eod.notart.org/images/sprites/sprite-ripoto.gif *

Ripot: *getting cues from off-camera* "...What? You mean we're available to other countries now? Dangit Test, you need to tell these things before hand!"

Ripot: "Ur-hurm...Anyway, for those of you just joining us from forigen borders, welcome to RoboNews at 6, with me, your anchorbot, Ripot. Moving on..."

Ripot: "Turning to sporting news, the Robotopolis Synthos appear to be back on top after a crushing 2-0 defeat of the Iansisle Gulls this afternoon in...well, Iansisle. As expected, the hometown fans weren't too happy about this.*

*Footage is shown of Guts Man and Frost Man, the two big bruisers of the team, holding off the raving ground as the rest of the team escapes to the bus, with Dr. Wily leading the charge*

Ripot: "But fortunatly, no one was injured...no one our side atleast. As for the match, the Gulls simply could not get past the defensive power of a hulking giant with below-average IQ and a maniac psycho hell-bent on destroying all intruders. Of course, I'm talking about Frost Man and Napalm Man. The two goals of the game were scored in quick succession in the top of the 3rd period, as the Gulls are also noted for their great defense. But 1st line center Shadow Man was able to manuver his way around the tired defense and knock in the puck. And 2nd line center Search Man just plain knocked everyone out of his way and scored the second, and last, goal of the match."

Ripot: "The next obstacle in the Synthos' path to world domination-er, repeating as champions, are the Waltzers of Formal Dancers. This shouldn't prove too difficult, as they defeated them 5-4 in regular play. But will they even get too? The Iansislan (?) government announced today a decree, banning all robots from their borders, apparently copying Kalaallit Nunaat's decree last year. This isn't expected to hold, as Napalm Man, who is also a 4-star general, reportedly commented that he will "Personally bomb their asses back to the Stone Age".

OOC: The Robotopolis Sun-Times' offices have been temporarily shut down because of a string of scandalous(SP?) reports on Dr. Wily, and because I didn't feel like making another newspaper post.

*Still pouts I had to face Kaalallit in the Quaters considering I was the #1 seed and they were the #2 seed. That shoulda been a semi match and Chi shoulda faced LE. Eh, I'll get over it*

Kaalalit should post eventually...I think, anyways ;)

*Still pouts I had to face Kaalallit in the Quaters considering I was the #1 seed and they were the #2 seed. That shoulda been a semi match and Chi shoulda faced LE. Eh, I'll get over it*

Kaalalit should post eventually...I think, anyways ;)

Ah, I see my feindish plan to not even consider things such as that has been noticed!

You have my apologies, Chicanada - that was a stupid oversight on my part. No hard feelings, I hope? :)

Your Cherry Cup XII Semi-final results!

Robotopolis 4 - 0 Formal Dances

Liverpool England 3 - 4 Kalaallit Nunaat

It'll be the devil Robots versus the hated Iceberg in your Cherry Cup XII FINAL!

ROBOTOPOLIS v. KALAALLIT NUNAAT

OOC: Hey Iansisle *wink wink nudge nudge* is there a chance HC can actually make the semis to renew glory days. Since CC8 RPs from people like FLP and I have meant early knockouts... do RP bonus rules apply in Cherry Cup? Should I pull out the Eizen way?

Robo-Force News Intro/Background Theme (http://www.smashboards.com/fzero/music/fzerotv.mp3)

*The black screen of the television or television equivalent lights up as the music plays. A dramatic camera swoop lands right infront of the anchor, Ripot. Incase you forgot, this guy: http://eod.notart.org/images/sprites/sprite-ripoto.gif *

Ripot: Good evening, and welcome to Robo-Force news at 6. I'm you're anchorbot, Ripot. Today's main story could have some serious implications about how you live...But first, sports!

Ripot: The Robotopolis Synthos absolutely DESTROYED the Waltzers of Formal Dancers 4-0, sending them to their 2nd final in 2 Cups...but their first against hated archrivals Kalaallit Nunaat's Iceburgs!

*Booing and hissing can be heard off-screen*

Ripot: Quiet down you! You can boo and hiss all you want at the commercial break. *clears non-existant throat* Anyways, back to the match. It was a brilliant display of being bigger, faster, and generally better than the compitition that the Synthos put on as they took care of business at both ends of the ice. The dynamic scoring duo of Elec Man and Ice Man combined for 3 of those 4 goals, with Ice Man scoring one on an Elec Man assist, and Elec Man scoring twice visa versa. The Ice Man goal was scored in the 1st period, and the Elec goals were scored in the 2nd and early 3rd.

Ripot: The 4th goal, however, was scored surprisingly late in the 3rd by 3rd line Right wingsman Magic Man, on a great set-up from Center Charge Man.
I think we have footage...*whispering offstage* We do! ROLL IT!

*A couple of flashes are seen as Ripot disappears from the screen, and then it suddenly brightens, revealing the Synthos-Waltzers game, late in the 3rd. In a rare occurance for the game, the puck has managed to survive near the Synthos goal for over a minute, and keeps getting passed around by the Waltzers. 2nd Line defenseman Dive Man appears to get frustrated, and drops his stick and RAMS the unlucky Waltzer who happened to be holding the puck at the moment straight thorough the plexiglass, setting the puck free. 3rd line center Charge Man scoops the puck up as the Waltzer offense retreats back to their side of the rink to prepare for the oncoming onslaught. Back at the Synthos end, Charge Man deploys...A cow-catcher? Charge Man then shifts his body back a bit, and kinda looks like a train. Steam billows out of his smokestack and a train whistle is sounded as he charges down the ice, knocking any unfortunate player out of the way. Barely visible at the edge of the picture is Magic Man, streaming down the ice down the boards, following Charge. As Charge nears the goal, Magic cuts across the ice and get behind him. Right before Charge hits the net and the goalie braces for impact, Charge Man...veers to the right? On camera, he can be seen passing the puck between his legs to Magic, who knocks it inbetween the goalie's legs for the score! KLAXON!*

*Flash, flash*

Ripot: What a play. Truely amazing...*shuffles papers...* Anyway, the next game for the Synthos also happens to be the finals, where they will face the hated, atleast by us, Iceburgs of Kaalallit Nunaat, who defeated the Synthos in semi-final play in Cherry Cup X. But that has been their ONLY victory over the Synthos in Cherry Cup history. Can the Synthos even the score? Experts say Yes...And now a commercial!

*Screen fades to black*

OOC: Hey Iansisle *wink wink nudge nudge* is there a chance HC can actually make the semis to renew glory days. Since CC8 RPs from people like FLP and I have meant early knockouts... do RP bonus rules apply in Cherry Cup? Should I pull out the Eizen way?

OOC: You had glory days?

Ah, I see my feindish plan to not even consider things such as that has been noticed!

You have my apologies, Chicanada - that was a stupid oversight on my part. No hard feelings, I hope? :)

Oh, already forgiven. Of course, Queen Susan needs to show up and start the CCXIII thread soon...I'm itching for another shot and advancement already ;)

The Queen's Palace had been engulfed too long in flames. The people, restless, angry after Cherry Cup 11, had risen up, trying to overthrow their rightful, democratically elected, ruler-for-life. As if one election in a lifetime was not enough! The Queen is furious at their ingratitude! :mp5:

Had she not vanquished the hated invaders from Ziotah when they tried to annex Greenland? Was not Ziotah now a smouldering crater? :sniper:

Had she not created the Cherry Cup to entertain her people? :fluffle:

Had she not, at last, delivered a Cup to them? :D

Had she not tried to distract them with too many smilies?

And this was their answer? Rebellion? Well, the Queen is pleased to announce she has defeated the rebels, no doubt inspired by her Robotic enemies. And now a Cup in her wayward province of Iansisle. A chance to regain glory and win a second Cup. Exactly as many Cups in fact as Starblaydia, once hated but now forgiven as they return to their rightful place as losers. All are vanquished!

All but one. Robotopolis. The Queen forgave them once for continuing to win in spite of her commands. She shall forgive them once more for their persistent excellence if they will now do the decent thing and provide a sporting but inevitable defeat at the hands of the Unstoppable Iceberg. The rightful and only true team that has the right to Cherry Cup titles. The vanquisher of pretenders.

If they do not surrender, then there shall be a reckoning. Susan, Queen of Kalaallit Nunaat, Iansisle, and Her Other Dependencies, does not enjoy being made a fool of. If Robotopolis wins, they know they face immediate destruction at the hands of her legions. Their entire nation shall be sold for scrap metal.

Long live the Queen!

in other news, sorry for long absence.

sign-ups are at http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=418884

OOC: Speaking of long absences, where's Ian? He said he'd get the final awards out of the way before he posted the Cup game.

OOC: Speaking of long absences, where's Ian? He said he'd get the final awards out of the way before he posted the Cup game.

Aye, that I did, and I can only apologize. Finals season hit me hard, and I've hardly had any time for playing NS. :( Again, my apologies.

Your Don Cherry Cup FINAL Awards!

Tom Grig Lamplighting Award:

South Osettia - 30 goals for!
runner up: Tanah Burung, 24

Adam Foote Hard-hitting Defense Award:

Chicanada - 5 goals allowed!
runner up: Harlesburg, Very Angry Rabbits, 11

Special Kickass Award:

Chicanada - 6-0-0, +12 GD

Special 'A+ for effort' Award:

Vilita - 0-6-0, -8 GD

Fimble loving peoples Award:

Formal Dances - 23rd ranked, top seed in Canada Region
runner up: Krytenia - 35 ranked, eight seed in Canada Region

Squornshelous Award:

Vilita - 4th rank, last seed in Sweden Region
runner up: Squornshelous - 9th rank, last seed Belarus Division

Honorary Good Sportsmanship Award:

Chicanada, for being a good sport about my awful mistake. Again, terribly sorry!

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

And, without further delay, the results of your Don Cherry Cup XI FINALS GAME:

ROBOTOPOLIS 5 - 1 KALAALLIT NUNAAT

SPORTSBLURB!

What a shocker! In this classic matchup between Robotopolis, the best of the new all-star teams, and Kalaallit Nunaat, staunch defender of the old ways, for their second Don Cherry Cup, the Robots absolutely walk away with a defense of their number one title!

...in other news, Gulls fan Throckmorten Alabaster was found in a back alley in Ianapalis beaten savagely by metallic fists. Reportedly, Mr Alabaster attempted to steal the Cherry Cup from the Robots' locker room and the team of devilish machines decided to ‘learn him a good lesson.’ See the full film at 11.

Starblaydi Rayzors are the only non-artifical two-time Cherry Cup Champions, though!

"Robots? Robots?!" Coach Haztarr was heard to say in a rare moment of sobriety after being drunk for the entire duration of the 12th Cherry Cup (a mighty feat of barmanship and wake-up pills if ever there was one) "Who the fook are Robots?"