NationStates Jolt Archive

The Ministry of Government Oversight

02-04-2005, 06:18
A short, indefinably ugly man steps into the large conference room with a small child in tow. He steps to the head of the table and gestures for the row of men and women to his left to shift down one seat each. Once they have done so, the child takes the newly vacated position at his left.

The Emperor sits. "Sorry I'm late, ladies and gentlemen. First on the agenda today is the growing crisis in Iraqstan. Mark, I'd like to hear from your ministry first."

The Minister for Foreign Affairs nods unwillingly and taps at his datapad. "The Fuhrer Quil'raya has stepped up efforts to eradicate the remaining Um Lizaans in his northern territories. He's resisting all diplomatic efforts to hold off and talk, and under NDA treaty we can't interfere in this internal matter. However, at Your Majesty's suggestion we have discreetly opened a dialogue with his son, Lidric Quil'raya. We're hoping for more success through him."

Treznor sighs and taps at his own datapad irritably. "I suppose Firefury is reacting with about as much restraint as we might expect from her."

The boy makes a loud sigh of his own, clearly of boredom. A brief pause settles across the room as the assembled men and women stare at him, but with a gesture from the Emperor, Mark continues.

"She's chomping at the bit, but she's holding to the treaty as expected. She is, however, promising to deliver the wrath of Shimeki if Quil'raya steps an inch over the line."

Gregory Olsten of the Ministry of War thumps his hand against the table. "We ought to bring this travesty to a close. We should allow them to go to war. The Quil'raya House have been a diplomatic sore thumb for years now. It's hurting our relations with other nations. We're seen to be harboring criminals instead of defending our ideals."

A murmer of assent ripples across the room.

Treznor quirks an eyebrow. "That's a fascinating perspective, Greg. How do you propose we do it?"

"We could assassinate Quil'raya himself. Let his son Lidric take over."

"That's stupid!" cries out the high-pitched voice of the child.

"Why, Billy?" Treznor asks gently.

"Because then this Limerick guy gets mad at us for hurting his daddy!"

"Good point. Assassination is out of the question. Other options?"

Greg frowns, but persists doggedly. "We could impersonate Iraqstani commandos. We know the equipment they use, and we could recruit from the Um Lizaans transported to Shogunate territory. They could stage a terrorist action that would give Firefury the justification to move in and wipe out Quil'raya."


"Geez. Then the Furry Lady gets mad at us, and the Quayle guy. Duh."


"Go on, Greg."

"Please forgive my impertinence, but who is this boy?"

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is Mr. William Gracie. He now heads the Ministry of Governmental Oversight."

"Uh, Sir?" Ben interjects with a quavering voice. "Ministry of Governmental Oversight?"

"That's right. His qualification is that he's a five-year-old child. When he turns six, he'll be replaced by another five-year-old. His job is to review all government decisions. Any flaws that he can readily identify will be immediately corrected before I approve the plan. Any questions?"

The room is mercifully silent, except for the sounds of Billy pretending that the pen in his hand is some sort of airship in combat.

Treznor nods firmly. "Very good. Now, let's talk about Lidric."