NationStates Jolt Archive

http://img72.exs.cx/img72/6189/cherrycupxilogoproposal1sf.gif
Welcome to the 11th Edition of the Don Cherry Cup

The Government of the Federated Cantons of Chicanada, TroutCo Industries, Chicanada Brewers Association and the Chicanada Red Light Lands Inc. welcome all participants to Cherry Cup XI - Chicanada Style.

The current format for the tournament is as follows:

Format:
There will be four regions (North, South, East and West) holding at least seven teams, with one or more hold eight.

Teams will play six matches. All regions will be split into two divisions. With the current 29 teams in, five divisions will have 4 teams, three with 3 teams. All teams will play 6 matches. The 4-team divisions will play each opponent twice, the 3-team division will play both their opponents three times. Top two from each division advance and make up the rankings for each region.

The region featuring the Cherry Cup Host Nation will hold always host eight squads.

Should we have 30 teams, two regions will have eight teams, two with seven. Everying from above applies.

31 teams? Three with eight, one with seven (and this would be the current Cherry Cup Champion Kalaallit Nunaat)

32 teams will see the original proposed format.

The top two from each division will move on to the Second Round (the Knockout Stage). The Knockout stage will still be staggared to alow the top teams a break until the quaterfinals or so.

Matches will be played at the following venues (with pictures even!)

North Region

Livingston Division
(All Matches Held at the Livingston Arena (http://www.sportsvenue-technology.com/projects/savemart/images/savemart_center9.jpg) in Livingston)
Starblaydia
Very Angry Rabbits
Druida
Inbreedia

Acadia Division
(All Matches Held at the Real Centre (http://www.sportsvenue-technology.com/projects/grizzlies/images/grizzlies02.jpg) in Acadia)
Squornshelous
Oliverry
Hisam

West Region

Paradiso Division
(All Matches Held at the Ministry Fieldhouse (http://www.sportsvenue-technology.com/projects/american_airlines/images/img2.jpg) at Paradiso)
Corneliu
Liverpool England
Vilita
The Gulf States

Cana Division
(All Matches Held at the Cananite Pavilion (http://www.sportsvenue-technology.com/projects/sapporo/images/sapporo_01.jpg) in Cana)
Kalaalit Nunaat
Hockey Canada
Kericia

East Region

Colombo Division
(All Matches Held at the Governess Palace (http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/fifa/gen/fifa/20050126/i/1475067429.jpg) in Colombo)
South Ossetia
Euroslavia
Fmjphoenix
Harlesburg

Eastentown Division
(All Matches Held at the Easten National Hall (http://www.sportsvenue-technology.com/projects/swimming_centre/images/Watercube11.jpg) at Eastentown)
Robotopolis
Fimble loving peoples
Lovisa

South Region

Finnen Division
(All Matches Held at the Southern Cross Icehaus (http://www.sportsvenue-technology.com/projects/harris/images/harris_county_stadium4.jpg) in Finnen)
Sjwitz
Kelssek
Chicanada
Stumperia

Star Point Division
(All Matches Held at the Avi Center (http://www.sportsvenue-technology.com/projects/ford_field/images/4_ford_field.jpg) in Star Point)
Iansisle
Tanah Burung
Formal Dances
Tonissa

Knockout Stage Hosts:
Livingston Arena, Livingston
Ital Memorial Fieldhouse, Jaxx (http://www.sportsvenue-technology.com/projects/cardiff/images/millennium_stadium1.jpg)
Governess Palace, Colombo
Ministry Fieldhouse, Paradiso

Tournament Semifinals and Finals:
North Coast Arena, Mogada (http://www.sportsvenue-technology.com/projects/saitama/images/saitama_superarea3.jpg)

Tournament Consolational Finals: (rankings of teams 9-16)
Cananite Pavilion, Cana

Tournament Second Chance Finals: (ranking 17-29)
Easten National Hall, Eastentown

The projected Rankings* for the draw are:

01 Kalaalit Nunaat
02 Starblaydia
03 Robotopolis
04 Fimble loving peoples
05 Squornshelous
06 Corneliu
07 Sjwitz
08 Oliverry
09 Iansisle
10 Hockey Canada
11 South Ossetia
12 Very Angry Rabbits
13 Liverpool England
14 Lovisa
15 Kelssek
16 Euroslavia
---Next four follow rankings after CC9 since none advanced to knockout round---
17 Hisam
18 Vilita
19 Tanah Burung
20 Druida
---First time (ever or in a long time) was last cup---
21 Chicanada
21 Fmjphoenix
---New participants/first time in a long time so there is no rank---
23 Inbreedia
23 Tonissia
23 Stumperia
23 The Gulf States
23 Formal Dances
23 Kericia
23 Harlesburg

The official draw will be posted tommorow, so your teams may enjoy the wonderful scenery, events, architecture, beer and whores that Chicanada has to offer today!

ooc: Thanks to sportsvenue-technology.com for having such lovely pics to represent the venues

* I followed the CCX backwards to make this list. If it appears wrong or teams seem out of order please let me know so I can make alterations.

Ill just chuck my 2 cents in!

For this cup FLP will be sending a much smaller team of just 18 players. Many of those so eager to attend the last cup shyed off this time when they were informed that booze would not be free during this competition.

As ever fans will be working hard to destroy all hope of winning from their hearts, and the Farmish brothers shall be back.

Hockey Canada Flyers Roster

Forwards:

7- Bill Barber: 6"5, 217 lbs
9- Murdoc Halflebech: 6"4, 201 lbs
10- Mitch Metzger: 6"6, 253 lbs
13- Justin Milne: 6"2, 198 lbs
14- Dave Semenko: 6"5, 235 lbs
16- Bobby Clarke: 6"1, 187 lbs Assistant Captain
19- Mike Krushelewnieuski: 6"6, 241 lbs
27- Yanic Perrault: 6"3, 199 lbs
33- Jamie Voisin: 5"11, 177 lbs
44- Ogie Ogilthorpe: 6"7, 260 lbs
61- Hardislav Maklamov: 6"4, 209 lbs
93- Kyle Thomas: 6"3, 196 lbs Captain

Defence:

2- Hugh Budziarek: 6"3, 202 lbs
22- Mike Dent: 7"3, 316 lbs Assistant Captain
28- Viacheslav Anisin: 6"4, 211 lbs
47- Mike Zeller: 6"4, 243 lbs
53- Boris Valabik: 6"8, 269 lbs
77- Spencer Blake: 6"5, 222 lbs Assistant Captain

Goalies:

8- Ryan Josin: 6"6, 234 lbs 3rd goalie
32- Jason Rice: 6"5, 231 lbs Backup
35- Cameron Greer 6"7, 252 lbs Starter

We're going to win through intimidation... or hitting hard... or just plain beating everyone.

Rayzors Back for Another Go
Insert Witty Subtitle Here

The blurb:
Starblaydia's All-Dwarven Rayzors, who lost a Cherry Cup Final for the first time ever in Cherry Cup 'X', are seeded Second for this Championship in, for the first time, Chicanada.

The kit:
http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/CCKit.jpg

The team (same as before-before-befiore):
Coached by: Haztarr

1st Line:
Thror Honnhirrim C Electrickery Guild
Thorin Nibin (C) W Brewer's Team
Thrain Naugrim W Brewer's Team
Thingol Zaram D Electrickery Guild
Dimrill Barazinbar D Brewer's Team
Dagnir Tumunzahar G Mining Co-Operative Guild

Replacements:
Gromril Tamanubaz C BeardBraiders United
Floror Hemanguroth C Brewer's Team
Nebazarr Mahamhir (A)C Runic Guild
Haradin Azanulbizarn W Electrickery Guild
Thorion Ganuztar W Runic Guild
Gonotrill Harantzim W Mountain Mithrils
Banghiman Fortrekhir W Electrickery Guild
Thorin Hazbathim W Runic Guild
Gotrek Ramanzabar W Mining Co-Operative Guild
Fingon Nongortheb D Runic Guild
Danwedh Turgrim D Brewer's Team
Balak Fingorram D Engineering Union
Hagard Haztarr D BeardBraiders United
Nurri Temekrahin D Mining Co-Operative Guild
Grimcrag Torinzahar G Mining Co-Operative Guild

Rayzors All The Way, Baby!

Kericia Seagulls Roster-

Wings:
#6 Andrew Atutis - 5'10 160 lbs.
#17 Nate Brady - 5'10 185 lbs.
#7 Mike Friel - 5'9 155 lbs.
#18 Andrew Hogan - 6'0 165 lbs.
#15 Brian Jones - 6'0 183 lbs.
#13 Sean Joyce - 6'2 170 lbs.
#9 Tom Pappa - 5'7 135 lbs.
#35 Ryan Pratt - 5'8 200 lbs.
#16 Pat Ryan - 5'8 145 lbs.
#20 Bay Stoker - 5'11 155 lbs.
#12 Eric Zerrahn - 5'9 160 lbs.

Defense:
#14 Steve Czarnecki - 5'11 140 lbs.
#5 Anthony Lazzaro - 5'10 175 lbs.
#8 Tim Lloyd - 5'11 195 lbs.
#22 Brian McCrobie - 6'0 180 lbs.
#19 Nick Miles - 5'11 160 lbs.
#4 Doug Parkhurst - 6'4 200 lbs.
#2 Chris Sova - 5'5 125 lbs.
#3 Scott Zaryski - 5'8 175 lbs.

Centers:
#11 Josh Flett - 5'9 140 lbs.
#23 Mike Proud - 5'10 165 lbs.
#10 Brian Sharkey - 5'6 130 lbs.
#21 Eric Smith - 5'11 160 lbs.
#24 Mark Talamo - 5'8 145 lbs.

Goalies:
#30 Nate Opet - 5'6 120 lbs.
#1 Frank Soranno - 5'8 170 lbs.

Coaches:
Mark Fierro - Head Coach
Michael Gray - Asst. Coach

Seagulls Team Colors:
White on Dark Blue
Logo - http://img51.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img51&image=seagull8mf.png

http://img100.exs.cx/img100/2998/chclogo6st.jpg
It's speckle-tastic!

Eastentown, Eaten Canton

To the surprise of nearly everyone, CHC National Coach Marsha Villeneue has decided to keep the entire roster from Cherry Cup X intact. "As I said after the South Ossetia loss, I acted to harsh and have worked this team into a much better unit," she said at a press conference announcing the team.

A lot of pressure is being placed on the CHC this time around, as the Cherry Cup brings it's eleventh edition to The Exodus region and to Chicanada's shoreline. Of course, no one is expecting the team to make it to Mogada, Narobi Canton for the finals, but expects the team to get a point this time around.

Official Chicanada Kodiaks Roster:

Coach: Marsha Villeneue (Atens)
Assistants: Tiger Omills (Easten), Marien Iolen (Acadia)

First Line:
C Terrence Philton (Verde)
W Jerrad Los (Provincetown)
W Bastian Opei (Bishop HC)
D Ioan Luff (Star Point)
D Peris Alcazar (Rosa City)
G Dumair Prada (Eoden, Captain)

Reserves:
C Mashir Barazin (Colombo)
C Tribecca York (Easten)
C Mordecai Lincoln (Crossing HC)
W Lin Fe (Mission HC)
W Karoli Uganzi (Provincetown)
W Blu Gondril (Livingston)
W Forrest Winston (HC Ashely)
W Harrison Klingstron (Provincetown)
W Quentin Sloven (West Coast HC)
D Derk Louve (HC Ashley)
D Sylvester Youden (Township)
D Finnen Elmeron (Saint Croix)
D Rodgeon Kittzenson (Cana HC)
D Gradan K'lzojo (Jaxx)
D Salan Ovedon (Verde)
G Mirel Kros (Atens)
G Garen Wallase (Easten)

Chicanada will find out tommorow in which region the team has been placed in and who they will face - as they are guaranteed three other opponents as the Host Country.

------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, over in Cana at the Cherry Cup XI Offices

"How many teams again?"

"29, m'am"

CCXI Bid President Jaqueline Moriseete was disappointed that there were only twenty nine confirmed teams, but nevertheless was ready with the changes. The other Program Directors for the Bid Committee seemed indifferent, as they were finalizing visas and passport approvals for all the teams.

"Wow, so many nations and peoples and dwarves and rabbits comming to thi..." said Frankllin Jobert until three associates covered his mouth. Frankllin struggled for air as Jaqueline snapped back to attention.

"I'm sorry, what was that after dwarves?"

Those attempting to strangle Frankllin all rushed and spitted out anything until he freed himself, got composed after near suffocation, and repeated "Rabbits."

Those around him developed a pained look as Jaqueline's face went from steely resolve to utter delight. "Rabbits! There will be rabbits here! Oh my I haven't seen a rabbit in such a long time..."

"Great, now there she goes yet again" said the Director of Facilities and Slow Ice, Emmerdile Kalanite, "Did you forget she can't have any rabbits since she is rumored but never confirmed because it's hearsay and I don't want PETA on me...um...oh yes, kills them with her love. Or her breasts. Or she sets them down and they run away to the BunnyLands or Colombo or whatever. Whichever, I forget."

Frankllin joined the rest with a pained expression as Jaqueline continued on and on and on and on and on about her love, admiration and desire to have a gigantic and possibly angry rabbit. "I can teach it to not be angry and to love!" she declared as all the Directors slowly krept to the door.

"She's not that crazy," Frankllin said as they finally escaped the offfice, "It's not like she'd find some big ass net and try to capture one."

Obviously, to be continued throughout the tournament.

...
"Great, now there she goes yet again" said the Director of Facilities and Slow Ice, Emmerdile Kalanite, "Did you forget she can't have any rabbits since she kills them with her love. Or her breasts. Whichever, I forget."
...


OOC: You sure that's appropriate? :(

OOC: You sure that's appropriate? :(

Jaqueline would never ever ever kill a rabbit. They just escape her lovely clutches and she sobs for a while and thinks she killed them. It's a very sad childhood tramua that became law, really.

As well as hearsay.

As well as her neverending quest for a bunny.

Jaqueline would never ever ever kill a rabbit. They just escape her lovely clutches and she sobs for a while and thinks she killed them. It's a very sad childhood tramua that became law, really.

As well as hearsay.

As well as her neverending quest for a bunny.

LOL... taking about the breasts part. Doesn't seem right. No obligation to killing rabbits.

Elmer Fudd: "Be vewwy vewwy qwiet! I'm hunting wabbits!"

ooc: Oh...um...Chicanadans are known for their bluntness.

And Emmerdile remembered more of her story because she is PC and loves animals and would never propose that someone smushed them to death or whatever.

Holy Crap!

Ferrets jump from 24th to 5th seed
The only other time there has been a rank change for Squornshelous anything like this was following Cherry Cup 8, when the Ferrets fell from 4th seed to 21st seed. In excitement over this fantastic achievement, Squornshelous has decided to release a rostor for this cup, which will be announced tomorrow by The Great Prophet Zarquon himself.

INTRODUCING, FOR THE (umm, lessee...1, 2, 3...) THIRD TIME ANYWHERE ON INTERNATIONAL ICE (and we’re hoping 3rd time’s the charm) -

The Arctic Hares
Hockey Team from Very Angry Rabbits
Cherry Cup XI

Goalkeepers:
Carl Eichbaum #00 Normal Starting Goalkeeper
Jose Esposito #99 substitute

Defenders:
1st Defense
Randy Boeskitz #2
Jacov Immiwitz #4
2nd Defense
Piers Dornetski #12
Raphael Angelino #14
3rd Defense
Jann Stremm #22
Ian Sisle #24

Right Wingers:
Alphonse Sommers #30 – 1st line *
Danny Johnson #31 – 2nd line
Grigor Dennisovitch #32 - 3rd line
Gunter Toivel #33 – 4th line

Left Wingers:
Johan Schmidt #40 – 1st line
Ravik Tennkilsohn #41 – 2nd line @
Serg Mendelson #42 – 3rd line
Hans Brinker #43 – 4th line

Centers:
Heinz Funfzigger – 1st line
Pavel Reichs – 2nd line
Andreas Neuheimer – 3rd line
Robbi Richards – 4th line

* Captain
@ Alternate Captain

Director of Operations
Otto Matic
---------------------------------------------------------
"Hey, Otto."

"Uh, yeah...what, Harv?"

"You see this business about this Chicanadian chick in charge of...lessee, what's she in charge of...um...here it is, she's the one in charge of Chicanadas Cherry Cup XI Bid. Name of Jaqueline Moriseete."

"Jacky Moriseete? From Chicanada?"

"Yeah, that's her name."

"Oh, my. Oh, dear! She's not going to be...at the tournament, is she? I mean, not at our games, eh?"

"I think she will. Says here she..."

"..."can't have any rabbits around, because she accidentally kills them with her love." Or maybe it says, "...accidentally smothers them with her breasts. Or that "...when she puts them down they run away never to be seen again." Or some such nonsense."

"Well, that's exactly what it says. Wadda you know about this, Otto?"

"Me? I don't know anything about it, Harv."

"Sounds to me like..."

"NOTHING, HARV! Let it go. Just..."

"Just what, Otto?"

"Just...well, we've got to get in touch with somebody in Chicanada, Harv. Jacky can NOT come to any of our games."

"Because?"

"Because...well, Harv, because it'll be something. You never know what, but with Jacky - rabbits - well, it's always something. And it's NEVER something good for the rabbits."

"...oh...well...I'll see if I can get a hold of somebody..."

Mogada, Narobi Canton

Director of Facilities and Slow Ice, Emmerdile Kalanite had arrived early to Mogada to oversee the Official Cherry Cup Drawing to see a buzz of comotion. The North Shore Arena, used for football and the minor league Seadogs Hockey Club had been transformed into a grand arena for the lot ceremony. Overhead she heard her name. Someone was apparently on the phone for her.

"Damn it, it better not be about their visas agains."

Emmerdile arrived at the CCXI Offices on the top floor and took a teleconference from a very rushed and flustered individual.

"Emmerdile Kalanite, Director of Faci.."

"..."

"I'm sorry sir, but you need to slow down."

"..."

"Oh, Mr. Matic, a pleasure to speak to you. I hope all the visas are handled for clearance for the Very Angry Ra...."

"..."

"I'm sorry, Jaqueline? She's unavailable right now."

"..."

"Oh...OH! OH! You're wanting to know if she will be attending your matches? More than likely not on official business since she'll be in Cana overseeing budg..."

"..."

"Well sir, you have nothing to worry about from her. See, most of that talk is hearsay and rubish. I think."

"..."

"Um...I think she's a 34 double d."

"...!!"

"No need to shout sir. The Directorship has decided to make sure your team is nowhere near her region. Of course we won't know that until tonig...."

"..."

"No."

"..."

"Not really, no."

"..."

"Glazed look? Only when looking at donuts and thinking about...um..er..."

"..."

"Yes."

"...!"

"Certainly. We will see to it she's not placed anywhere near your team for official business."

"..."

"No...no, we can't throw her in jail to keep her from stalking you or your team."

"..."

"No, we can't keep her from going to a game if she has a ticket. But she's small, so you should be able to outrun her."

"..."

"Out HOP, excuse me."

"..."

"No problem. Thank you for the call."

Emmerdile hung up, sighed, and said a silent prayer to the Risian gods that Jackie would calm down and be professional for a change.

Elsewhere

Jacqueline was playing with her biggest butterfly net.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" she said as she imaginged capturing a Very Angry Rabbit that she could call her own.

OOC: No, I don't know why I made the Head of CCXI insane for rabbits.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v428/numbersaregood/kelssekjersey.jpg

Nickname: Blueleafs

GOALIES
Benoit Laharrague
Brian Duborny
John Baron

DEFENCEMEN
Sven Stefanovic
Kevin Deegan
Josh Mulroney
Rob Fletcher
Stephane Lefevre
Colin Calderwood (A)
Patrick Dieppe

FORWARDS
Neville Keanes ( C)
Laurent Oberforsky
Pierre Dubois
Phillip Adams
Gary Bavarillo
Maurice Provonost
Harry White (A)
Daniel McKellon
Kevin Smith
Denis Roche
Liam Cevensdale
Tony Ithans
Benjamin Hamilton

Typical Lineup

FORWARD LINES
Provonost-Keanes-McKellon
Adams-White-Bavarillo
Hamilton-Roche-Oberforsky
Cevensdale-Dubois-Roche

DEFENSIVE PAIRS
Stefanovic-Dieppe
Mulroney-Calderwood
Fletcher-Lefevre

GOALIES
Starting: John Baron
Backup: Benoit Laharrague

Fmjphoenix Blades

Goalkeepers:
#88 Breggan Voltlander - Starter
#00 Frando Kluckie - Substitute
#12 Devall Uryla - Reserve

Defenders:
#43 Howard Kaylay - 1st line
#98 Royal Denyals - 1st line
#65 Ramon Feylia - 2nd line
#11 Kell Doran - 2nd line
#49 Charels McLauren - 3rd line
#05 Jeremy Owens - 3rd line

Right Wingers:
#24 Daryl Brown - 1st line
#03 Forlien Clowlen - 2nd line
#28 Xavior Vega - 3rd line
#67 Betred Salim - 4th line

Left Wingers:
#22 Paul Farlan - 1st line
#87 Ariel Boyten - 2nd line
#42 Stephen Davis - 3rd line
#14 Bobby Kalunia - 4th line

Centers:
#30 Keith Roneck - 1st line(C)
#40 Gerald Howard - 2nd line
#95 Larry Ferando - 3rd line
#35 Branden Lowell - 4th line
we were in last cup, i just forgot to rp

"What, another one of these Cherry thingies! These come around faster than a cheetah on roller skates. Are we in this one?"

"Yes we are."

"And are we going to continue our magnificent tradition of getting past the first round by the skin of our teeth only to be narrowly beaten in the next round?"

"Well hopefully we can get past the first round by the skin of our teeth and then beat everyone in a glorious turn-around of fortune."

"If that happens, I will quite happily prance around naked in the courtyard shouting 'I'm a lumberjack' at the top of voice."

"Really?"

"Well...perhaps not shouitng 'I'm a lumberjack'...the naked part I'm quite happy with."

"You know you're the strangest person I've ever met, don't you?"

"That's why they call me Mr. Pearson."

"What? What relevance does that...never mind."

"Oooh - what seed are we? Sunflower? Pumpkin?"

"Eleventh."

"That's kind of boring isn't it?"

"Better than the thirteenth of last time."

"I suppose...have our players finally learnt all the basics of ice hockey?"

"Yes, they can skate, hit the puck and can wear those big beefy pads without falling under the effects of top-heaviness."

"Excellent. So there's no need for the mirrors this time?"

"No, definitely not. We can win off our own backs...just not against Vilita."

"Okay."

"Wow, we get another crack at it so quickly?" said Keanes.

"That's right." said the coach, Greg Gilbert.

"It's really tiring though." someone else said.

"Yeah, but we want to not suck this time around. Like, get some glory maybe." Gilbert told him, "But, you know, I never wanted to do this for a living."

"No?" said the captain.

"I always wanted to be a lumberjack... Leaping from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia! The giant larch, the redwood, the mighty scot pine! With my best girl by my side, we'd sing... sing... sing!"

"Ohhhhh.... I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay, I sleep all night and I work all day," he sung with abandon.

As if out of nowhere, Mounties appeared and chorused, "He's a lumberjack and he's okay, he sleeps..."

Greg Gilbert awoke in a cold sweat.

Mogada, Narobi Canton

Director of Facilities and Slow Ice, Emmerdile Kalanite had arrived early to Mogada to oversee the Official Cherry Cup Drawing to see a buzz of comotion. The North Shore Arena, used for football and the minor league Seadogs Hockey Club had been transformed into a grand arena for the lot ceremony. Overhead she heard her name. Someone was apparently on the phone for her.

"Damn it, it better not be about their visas agains."

...Hilarious Phone Conversation takes place here...

Emmerdile hung up, sighed, and said a silent prayer to the Risian gods that Jackie would calm down and be professional for a change.

Elsewhere

Jacqueline was playing with her biggest butterfly net.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" she said as she imaginged capturing a Very Angry Rabbit that she could call her own.

OOC: No, I don't know why I made the Head of CCXI insane for rabbits.lol !!! ;)

New and (hopefully) improved

Everything old is new again. The new, post-Easter, New and Improved Resurrected Cassowaries had a dismal showing on home turf. In fact, it's becoming notorious among local sports fans that Tanah Burung's teams lose badly when hosting major tournaments. The tradition, established in Field Hockey World Cup 1, was respected in Cherry Cup Ten (or X, for Starblaydia's Sore Loozers) as the Cassowaries drank, crashed and burned, losing the crucial match against Very Drunken Rabbits.

"With the power of prayer, we can turn this around," said the new coach, Sister Hale Maria da Santaclara da Cruz, as she announced an entirely new line-up including absolutely no returning players. "Out with the old, in with the New and Improved," she said, adding that this year's players would be "all new. And did i mention that it's a new team?"

Tanah Burung is considering changing its arch-nemesis to Very Angry Rabbits, after realizing the team is no longer in Starblaydia's league. A national referendum on the question "Who is our arch-nemesis?" will take place shortly.

Announcer: "Here's Hockeymag, with Jeremy McGrath and Francois Laroche."

Jeremy McGrath: "Welcome to hockeymag. For the next weeks, we'll be presenting the Cherry Cup XI. Later, we'll have a surprise guest. Francois, I think you know the Cherry Cup better than I know it since you participed in it since the beginning of the Oliverrian participation in it: Cherry Cup VIII in Liverpool England if I remember right?"

Francois Laroche: "You're right! As everyone knows, I'm having cancer so this explains why I'm not with the team."

JMG: "Now, we'll go with some news: The team released his rosters yesterday. It was tough to think about a replacement for Francois but we have found one. Here is the roster:

Coaches:
Coach:Johnathan Blue will come in for a 4th year
Goalie Coach: Jean-Francois Larache
Forward coach: Brian McGill

Goalies:
1: Damien Lavoie(West Rubbermade Rivals):21 years-old
5: Nicola Missioliza(Lamontagne Pingouins):31 years-old

Defensemen:
1st pair
44: Louis Tremblay(Lamontagne Pingouins):25 years-old
98: Gil Brown(Marshalliston Capitals):37 years-old
2nd pair
31: Richard Lanoix(Letremblay Bleu-Blanc-Rouge):36 years-old
22: Steve Dubé(Perpignant Français):24 years-old
3rd pair
58: Oliver Jones(Coastal Oceans):29 years-old
39: Lil'Jon Hat(Coastal Oceans):30 years-old

Forwards:
1st line
2: Guy-Jacques François(Marshalliston Capitals):32 years-old
4: Denys de Ladurantaye(Marshalliston Capitals):27 years-old
36: Dick Tremblay(Perpignant Francais):21 years-old
2nd Line
8: Johnathan Bailey(Sunberry Coastals):33 years-old
12: Frank Thompson(Perpignant Français):27 years-old
10: Michael Nurenburg(East Rubbermade DJ's):30 years-old
3rd line
9: Felipe Alanzano(Marshallsiton Capitals):22 years-old
14: Joel Hatcher(Sunberry Borders):33 years-old
98: Adrien Froussinot(Perpignant Francais): 28 years-old
4th line
18: Pat Andretti(Letremblay Bleu-Blanc-Rouge):33 years-old
23: Jersey MacMaster(Coastal Oceans):33 years-old
16: John Motorola(Costal Oceans):29 years-old

The players are gonna use the same uniforms as last year tournament:
http://membres.lycos.fr/lhjmq2004/Image1.png
http://membres.lycos.fr/lhjmq2004/Image2.png

What do you think of this year's team Francois?"

FL: "It's a bit worst than last year's one but I'm surprised about the choice of Damien Lavoie as starter Goaltender. He was good last year but what are you basing your choice on Johnathan? Anyway, I'm saying good luck to the team."

JMG: "It's now time for some paid messages. After this, we'll be interviewung Johnathan Blue, We'll be right back!"

http://img72.exs.cx/img72/6189/cherrycupxilogoproposal1sf.gif
Cherry Cup XI Draw

Here are the official draws for Cherry Cup XI. Matches will begin tommorow. Schedule is being provided for all, as with three divisions of three it will be slightly more complicated - all three teams will have one day where they face the other members.

North Region

Livingston Division
(All Matches Held at the Livingston Arena (http://www.sportsvenue-technology.com/projects/savemart/images/savemart_center9.jpg))
Starblaydia
Very Angry Rabbits
Druida
Inbreedia

MD1, MD4: 1v4, 2v3
MD2, MD5: 1v3, 2v4
MD3, MD6: 1v2, 3v4

Acadia Division
(All Matches Held at the Real Centre (http://www.sportsvenue-technology.com/projects/grizzlies/images/grizzlies02.jpg))
Squornshelous
Oliverry
Hisam

MD1: Oliverry v Hisam, Squornshelous v Oliverry
MD2: Squornshelous v Hisam
MD3: Squornshelous v Oliverry, Squornshelous v Hisam
MD4: Hisam v Oliverry
MD5: Hisam v Squornshelous, Oliverry v Hisam
MD6: Oliverry v Squornshelous

West Region

Paradiso Division
(All Matches Held at the Ministry Fieldhouse (http://www.sportsvenue-technology.com/projects/american_airlines/images/img2.jpg))
Corneliu
Liverpool England
Vilita
The Gulf States

MD1, MD4: 1v4, 2v3
MD2, MD5: 1v3, 2v4
MD3, MD6: 1v2, 3v4

Cana Division
(All Matches Held at the Cananite Pavilion (http://www.sportsvenue-technology.com/projects/sapporo/images/sapporo_01.jpg))
Kalaalit Nunaat
Hockey Canada
Kericia

MD1: Hockey Canada v Kericia, Kalaalit Nunaat v Hockey Canada
MD2: Kalaalit Nunaat v Kericia, Hockey Canada v Kericia
MD3: Kalaalit Nunaat v Hockey Canada
MD4: Kericia v Hockey Canada
MD5: Kericia v Kalaalit Nunaat
MD6: Hockey Canada v Kalaalit Nunaat, Kalaalit Nunaat v Kericia

East Region

Colombo Division
(All Matches Held at the Governess Palace (http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/fifa/gen/fifa/20050126/i/1475067429.jpg))
South Ossetia
Euroslavia
Fmjphoenix
Harlesburg

MD1, MD4: 1v4, 2v3
MD2, MD5: 1v3, 2v4
MD3, MD6: 1v2, 3v4

Eastentown Division
(All Matches Held at the Easten National Hall (http://www.sportsvenue-technology.com/projects/swimming_centre/images/Watercube11.jpg))
Robotopolis
Fimble loving peoples
Lovisa

MD1: Fimble loving peoples v Lovisa, Robotopolis v Fimble loving peoples
MD2: Robotopolis v Lovisa
MD3: Rotobotopolis v Fimble loving peoples, Robotopolis v Lovisa
MD4: Lovisa v Fimble loving peoples
MD5: Lovisa v Robotopolis, Fimble loving peoples v Lovisa
MD6: Fimble loving peoples v Robotopolis

South Region

Finnen Division
(All Matches Held at the Southern Cross Icehaus (http://www.sportsvenue-technology.com/projects/harris/images/harris_county_stadium4.jpg))
Sjwitz
Kelssek
Chicanada
Stumperia

MD1, MD4: 1v4, 2v3
MD2, MD5: 1v3, 2v4
MD3, MD6: 1v2, 3v4

Star Point Division
(All Matches Held at the Avi Center (http://www.sportsvenue-technology.com/projects/ford_field/images/4_ford_field.jpg))
Iansisle
Tanah Burung
Formal Dances
Tonissa

MD1, MD4: 1v4, 2v3
MD2, MD5: 1v3, 2v4
MD3, MD6: 1v2, 3v4
---------------------------------

Matches begin tommorow!

Now for what I'm sure everyone is eagerly anticipating... Without further adu, the Starting Lineup for the Kericia Seagulls' Cana Division games:

Starters at Wing:
#7 Mike Friel - 5'9 155 lbs.
#13 Sean Joyce - 6'2 170 lbs.

Starters at Defence:
#8 Tim Lloyd - 5'11 195 lbs.
#4 Doug Parkhurst - 6'4 200 lbs.

Starter at Center:
#23 Mike Proud - 5'10 165 lbs.

Starter at Goalie:
#1 Frank Soranno - 5'8 170 lbs.

FLP drawn with Robotopolis and Lovisa.

As the draws were made the blokes down at the FLP training rink were hoping they'd avoid a high seeded team in the first round, and so were disappointed to end up with Lovisa. The robots will hand out a beating.

The other team, Lovisa, are less of a threat, hopefully. The coach knows very little about this team, but is pretty sure they have been involved in past Cherry Cups.

On a more sentimental note, my mother has just died. And I will most likely be sacked for that comment.

For many teams, a humiliating defeat at the hands of their (one of many) archnemesis would mean a quiet and subdued entrance to the next Cherry Cup. Not for the Gulls: their fists raw and bleeding from pounding them into their palms so many times, Iansisle's national hockey team burst into the Star Point division more belligerent and obnoxious than ever. Several Cassowaries unlucky enough to be present were punned mercilessly and a wandering Seagull from Kericia was threatened with legal action over their obvious (to the inebriated Gulls, at least) copyright infringement.

http://www.arthritis.org/images/chapters/sandiego/gulls_logo_t.gif (http://sandiegogulls.com/)
Gulls CCXI Roster:

G: Sergei Naumov
G: Trevor Koenig

RW: Martin St. Amour
RW: Mark Woolf (AC)
RW: Dennis Purdie
RW: Ashlee Langdone
RW: R.J. Enga

LW: Kevin St. Jacques
LW: Sandro Sbrocca
LW: Clayton Read
LW: Mark Pederson
C: B.J. MacPherson (C)
C: Mark Stitt
C: David Neal
C: Sylvain Deschatelets

D: Jamie Black
D: Brett Larson (AC)
D: Sergei Visegorodcevs
D: Taj Melson
D: Kevin Grant
D: Samy Nasreddine
D: Sammy Dejean

First Line
RW: Martin St. Amour
C: B.J. MacPherson
LW: Kevin St. Jacques

Second Line
RW: Mark Woolf
C: Mark Stitt
LW: Mark Pederson

Third Line
RW: Ashlee Langdone
C: David Neal
LW: Sandro Sbrocca

Fourth Line
RW: Dennis Purdie
C: Sylvain Deschatelets
LW: Clayton Read

Defensive Line 1
RD: Jamie Black
LD: Sergei Visegorodcevs

Defensive Line 1
RD: Taj Melson
LD: Samy Nasreddine

Power Play 1
RW: Mark Woolf
C: B.J. MacPherson
LW: Kevin St. Jacques
RD: Jamie Black
LD: Samy Nasreddine

Power Play 2
RW: Martin St. Amour
C: Mark Stitt
LW: Mark Pederson
RD: Taj Melson
LD: Samy Nasreddine

Penalty Kill 1
RW: Ashlee Langdone
LW: Kevin St. Jacques
RD: Brett Larson
LD: Sergei Visegorodcevs

Penalty Kill 2
RW: Martin St. Amour
LW: Mark Woolf
RD: Taj Melson
LD: Samy Nasreddine

Sister Hale Maria has released the new Cassowary line-up. She was reported as "thrilled" with the draw, which pits Tanah Burung against a couple of rookies and some goons from Iansisle. The Cassowaries' official archivist reports that Tanah Burung lost all its matches in Cherry Cups 1 and 2, with the exception of a draw against Iansisle. "Even when we suck, we can beat the Gulls," Sister Maria said. "It's a scientific fact."

In a desperate attempt to stir up fan support in a country that knows almost nothing about the rules of hockey, players are to be known only by their first names. Like the Brazilian footballers, ya know. Or Cher. Also, each forward line and defensive pairing has been given a cutesy nickname. "No, it's not contrived at all," Sister Maria said. "Don't question me, or God will punish you."

"Oh, and one of our centres is an eight-foot tall talking Tarantula. Yes, a Tarantula. What? I said don't question me!"

---

The New and Improved Cassowaries:

The Kid Line
C: Sumitro
LW: Rogerio
RW: Nikola

The Jungle Line
C: Hatta
LW: Mikah
RW: Mutang

The Bug Line
C: Tarantula
LW: Francisco
RW: Isabella

The East is Red Defensive Wall
D: Zhou
D: Arlindo

The Enforcers
D: Ty "the Impaler"
D: Lindalina

Goaltenders
G: Martina
G: Zachary

ooc: I think I may grow to love Sister Hale Maria. She and Jaqueline can be friends and chase down very angry rabbits together :p

Chicanada Sun
Your #1 Source for Gossip, Naked Women and Betting Wagers

Page 4 Ladies Call Starblaydia/Hockey Canada Final

The Chicanada Sun sat down with the buxom ladies of Page 4 - Bipsy Luminea, Katina Tjoli and H'klo Y'pzdit to see who they saw winning Cherry Cup XI.

North Region

Livingston Division
Starblaydia
Very Angry Rabbits
Druida
Inbreedia

Bipsy - Oooh, there's Rararas (unoffical knickname for rabbits, since Jaqueline Moriseete is crazy) and Dwarvies here! I love it!
H'klo - Oh yes, very hot.
Katina - Um...what is an Inbreedia?
H'klo - I think they sleep with their family members?
Katina - Oh, like how me and mah sister Lassie did for Page 4 last year?
Bipsy - Eww! You're so gross!

Acadia Division
Squornshelous
Oliverry
Hisam

H'klo - Can we pick Hisam just cuz it sounds cool?
Bipsy - Oh yes, loves the name!
Katina - Who else are we picking? Both names are icky!
Bipsy - Um...can we have the Rararas play here too?
H'klo - No you silly!
Bipsy - Fine. How about that Olive one?
Katina - Oooh, I love olives!

West Region

Paradiso Division
Corneliu
Liverpool England
Vilita
The Gulf States

Bipsy - I wonder if the Gulf States have hot beaches and slutty guys?
H'klo - I bet they do, we should go there!
Katina - Aw c'mon, we have to pick a winner!
Bipsy - Oh, they all are winners. How about the Gulf States and that place beetles come from.
H'klo - Ew, insects make me vomit.

Cana Division
Kalaalit Nunaat
Hockey Canada
Kericia

Katina - Where the hell is our hot guys at?
Bipsy - Hockey is Canadian, right?
H'klo - How would I know?
Bipsy - Well, I think it is so I say they will win.
Katina - And I say the winners from the last...um...whatever this is will.

East Region

Colombo Division
South Ossetia
Euroslavia
Fmjphoenix
Harlesburg

H'klo - Lord, what is with all these funny names?
Bipsy - Their names make me giggle, like that one time when Predence dropped ice down my shirt.
Katina - Ewww!

Eastentown Division
Robotopolis
Fimble loving peoples
Lovisa

Bipsy - What's a fimble?
Katina - I think it's money...
H'klo - Well, that sucks cuz you can't bet on your own team. So they'll have to pick the other two.

South Region

Finnen Division
Sjwitz
Kelssek
Chicanada
Stumperia

Bipsy - Yay! There's our team!
H'klo - Wouldn't it be so hot if they won?
Katina - Didn't they suck ass last time?
H'klo - Um...how about them Sa-ja-wits team?
Bipsy - Ooh, you so smart! You can pronounce that!

Star Point Division
Iansisle
Tanah Burung
Formal Dances
Tonissa

Katina - Ooh, I love dancers!
H'klo - Ooh, me too! We should go out dancing tonight!
Bipsy - I am so there! Maybe we can get them to dance with us.
H'klo - Isn't Iansisle that team that got all drunk last night and punched that player?
Bipsy - Girl, that's hockey for ya!

Final thoughts:

Bipsy: Hockey Canada is so hot and in!
H'klo - I like Dwarves so I say Starblaydia.
Katina - If it ain't us, I don't care.

As you can tell, our paper is nothing if not CLASSY! Maybe the InterCanton will have real thoughtout reports but you know how to vote now!

Otto Matic, Director of Operations for the Artic Hares, posts a notice outside his office.

Team - I want you to understand three things before Cherry Cup XI gets underway.

First - We've been drawn into a tough little group. If we want to advance, you're all going to have to pull your weight, and then some. And that whole "drunken rabbit" thing you had goin' in Tanah Burung - won't cut it, guys. There'll be no drinking alcoholic beverages from now till the tournament is over.

Second - Jaquelyne Moriseete. I know you've all heard of her, and some of you have personal experience. Unless you've got a death-wish, STAY AWAY FROM HER AT ALL COSTS! If we have to play Chicanada at some point, you will all be issued disguises.

Third - Tanah Burungs' new manager, Sister Mary Sunshine (or was it Sister Nathan Hale?) just announced the new Cassowary line-up. I've taken a look, and even with the giant evil spider in one line, what it looks like is - "Cassowary Cassarole Redux".

Otto

what about that case of stout-lout in your office, otto?

ooc: lol - Chicanada, we're going to have to decide how Jacky spells her name. Ya wanna spell it with the "Y", or the "I"? ;)

ooc: since Jaqueline is crazy, she spells it many ways. However, her nickname is Jaquee, which I'm gonna stick with for the most part.

Downtown Cana

The Directorship of Cherry Cup XI were congradulating each other for a perfect Draw presentation in Mogada. Yes, Iansisle showed up drunk and picked a fight with Kericia and Tanah Burung and the VAR had to be sequestered in a skybox to avoid any possible attacks by Jaqueline, even if she had been left in Cana with a piece of string, but otherwise things had run swimingly well.

At the very posh Ybor Club, the members sat around and enjoyed the few hours off they had. Frankllin Jobert was reading the "Chicanada Sun," Director of Press Relations Rebekah Hostling was doing shots with Bastion Liemer the Director of Staffing. Other members were eating, mingling or dancing to the really bad disco that started playing inside.

Outside, Emmerdile Kalanite was walking around, looking pensive. Frankllin, comming out for a smoke, joined her and the conversed about the Cup.

"Everything's running well, I suppose."

"Yes, except for the wacky hijinks we're pulling."

"Oh, about Jaquee? She'll be fine. She's being kept in Cana and Vee Aye Are are up in Livingston, several hours away. She's a responsible director and would do nothing to embarass us."

Emmerdile looked at Frankllin's copy of the Sun, where, below scantily clad women making fools of themselves for publicity, in gigantic letters proclaimed:

Jaquee Is Wooking Fo Wabbits!
Moriseete considered crazy and looney as she runs tourney, searches for plaything

Frowning, she said "I seriously doubt she's even thinking of the Cup right now. During business hours she'll be business, but it's nighttime and Livingston is only 3 hours away by car."

Frankllin frowned at Emmerdile, as he, she, hell they all knew that Jaquee was going to be an ongoing circus of her own.

Meanwhile, at the Livingston Arena

Hiding in the bushes where she thought the players entrance was but was in reality the exit for the trash, Jaquee sat, butterfly net in hand. She looked both delusional and high, as she giddily waited for the Rabbits she longed to play with to arrive.

Well, she did until several bags of foodstuffs going to the compost heap landed on her head.

Saddened by her shiny shiny hair becoming dirty, Jaquee went back to her private car and sobbed, thinking she killed the chicken that was still laying on her head. Clearly Jaquee is a very weird person.

Synthos back again, ready to make a Finals trip.

It's that time again, people. Cherry Cup time has descended upon us once again, in its Eleventh Incarnation, and once again the Mad Scientist Dictatorship of Robotopolis has sent a team of Robot Masters/its government to the dance, headed by dictator Dr. Albert E. Wily. The Synthos have been able to make it to Semi-finals of their first 2 Cherry Cups each time, losing to Oliverry in IX and Arch-Rivals Kaaliit Nunaavt(Or however you spell it) in Cherry Cup X. Difference between these two cups is that in IX Synthos lost the Bronze Medal Match to Iansisle, but won it over Fimble Loving Peoples in X. By way of the Chincadian Draw, Robotopolis has been placed in the divsion containing the lovers of all things Fimble, and Lovsia. Their first match is a re-match of the Bronze Medal Match of Cherry Cup X, and is expected to be a doozy of a match.

Hopefully, they can make it to the finals this time. Hopefully.




And now, the roster of the Robotopolis Synthos:

Head Coach: Dr. Albert E. Wily

The Offensive Lines:

1st Line:
LW: Elec Man (One of the fastest players on the team, Elec Man is good at streaming down the ice to set up pass plays and one-timers. He also has a good eye on where to aim in the net.) (ASSISTANT CAPTAIN)
C: Shadow Man (Having the fastest reflexes on the team(He's a ninja), Shadow Man was the clear choice for center. Great at winning faceoffs, Shadow Man also has a great knack for skating around and out checks)
RW: Ice Man (THE fastest skater on his team, Ice Man was made to play this sport. Great puck-handling skills, making him a prime passer. He led all the other RMs in assists in the pre-tourney scrimmages.) (CAPTAIN)

2nd Line:
LW:Crystal Man (When he's on the ice, CM's the lead tactician. He's got a great mind for plays, but his reflexes aren't as good as Shadow Man's. He's as fast as Elec Man, but the big crystal orb in the middle of his head slightly impairs his vision, lowering his accuracy.)
C:Search Man (This guy, he has two heads. One controls the skating, the other controls the puck-handling. This makes him an exeptionally graceful skater for a robot of his size(He's big enough to be a defenseman). He's the best checker among the linemen, but the two brains can get mixed up some times. And that's when he falls down. On the otherhand, he's the 2nd best shot on the team.) (ASSISTANT CAPTAIN)
RW: Freeze Man (A watered-down Ice Man in most aspects, except he's taller, and more aggressive in checking, earning him more penalty minutes than average.)

3rd Line:
LW: Quick Man (The second-fastest staker, next to Ice Man. This guy is ALWAYS moving. The only time he takes a break is when he's on the bench, but even then he pacing. He's great for setting up one-timers, because you never know when or where his passes or shots are gonna come from, but it's this randomness that makes it hard for his teammates to get anything from him.)
C: Gemini Man (Gemini Man is unique in the fact that he can create a holo-gram of himself that copies everything he does. This is great for confusing his opponents, but often his teammates can't tell if they're passing to the real Gemini Man or the fake.)
RW: Magic Man (Magic Man is the master of faking out his opponent, allowing him to get by. He seems to fire passes out of no where, when you least expect it. In all other aspects though, he's just above average.)

4th Line:
LW: Charge Man(Charge Man is the dumbest lineman. He routienely makes mistakes, and sometimes crashes into the boards by himself. He's incredibly fast, though, and literally runs over players in his way. He's usually in the penalty box for ths)
C: Tengu Man(Tengu Man is the tallest robot on the offensive side, and he's got sharp eyes for open shots and passes. His ego often gets in his way, and he doesn't take obvious passes, prefering to keep all the glory for himself.)
RW: Turbo Man(Turbo Man...I got nothing to say about Turbo Man. He's fast, big, but not very good with the puck. Vulnerable to poke checks.)

The Defensive Line:

1st Line:
LD: Frost Man (Frost Man is HUGE. If you get checked by this guy, you're gonna feel it. He caused the most injuries in the scrimmages, which is why he was selected for 1st Line. He's not very bright though, and slow. Likes popsicles) (ASSISTANT CAPTAIN)
RD: Napalm Man(This guy hates you, your family, your friends, your dog, your house, and everything else. He relishes in smashing players into the boards and taking the puck. This ultra-agressive gameplan, however, nets him a great amount of penalty minutes. Led all Robot Masters in penalty minutes and fights in the scrimmages) (ASSISTANT CAPTAIN)


2nd Line:
LD: Dive Man (Dive Man is one agressive dude. He's great at knocking a guy down, thanks to his slightly bulky body. Smallest defenseman, but that's not saying much. Frequently called for elbowing.)
RD: Guts Man (Guts Man is just a slightly smaller, slightly faster Frost Man. They're both dim-wits, though)

Goalies:
Starter: Blizzard Man (Blizzard Man is a master of the sticks. He often prefers to plays with two sticks, instead of one stick and the glove. His large body doesn't hurt either.)
Reserve 1: Wood Man (Wood Man is a big guy, often using his own body to deflect oncoming pucks. He's better with the glove than the stick)
Reserve 2: Clown Man(Clown Man, while being the smallest of the 3 goalies, has the best reflexes. He's the best at catching pucks, often not bothering to use the stick.)

"We have a problem. We're drawn in the same group as the hosts." said the team manager.

"But two from each group go through. Surely we can beat the other teams even if we don't win against them."

"No no no, I mean we're in the group playing in the Southern Cross Icehaus."

"You mean..."

"Yes, the arena restaurant which was rated 'completely worthless and the sausages were probably turds' by the Neorvins Herald. So your boss, the chairman, who's going to be up in the corporate box and eating that, is not going to be in a good mood."

"Yikes."

"Better win all the games, eh?"

That night, Greg Gilbert had disturbing dreams of being pursued by a rabbit at an anger management seminar while dwarves and robots arm-wrestled each other. Naked.

---
National Sports Network studios
---

"Stweets.... Serjaywits... Sej... Sug... Sjwicks... AAAGH."

STUMPERIA

Goalkeepers
Polar Stump
Cold Stump
Fall Stump

Defenders
Ice Stump
Snow Stump
Creme Stump
Finn Stump
Lone Stump
Glide Stump
Close Stump

Wingers
Daze Stump
Puck Stump
Fibre Stump
Joint Stump
Thorn Stump
Mirror Stump
Frozen Stump
Sub Stump

Centres
Haze Stump
Freeze Stump
Artic Stump
Neu Stump
Eco Stump

Manager - Allie Stump
Asst. Manager - Nameless Stump

"You, by that rotating cactus, come over here!"

"Yes sir?"

"What's this light flashing?"

"That's telling you you've got a message on your telephone."

"Te-le-phone?"

"This thing."

*points to telephone*

"Oh, you mean by super-continental ionisation machine."

"...Yes, of course. Just press this button, and..."

"This is Peter. The draw's been done. We're in the Colombo Division with Euroslavia, Fmjphoenix and Harlesburg. We've played none of them before, but we are the top seeds in our group, so we should go through. Okay, I've got to go now - I'm being mauled by a grizzly bear. Ow! Stop that, do it lower!"

"That was interesting, sir."

"Yes...I always though grizzly bears were friendly."

"I meant the draw."

"Oh yes, the draw! The Colombo division, eh? Say, isn't Colombo..."

"Yes, he's a TV Detective with his own show."

"Good, now I can make cop show puns. So we should win this group?"

"Yes, but this competition is just so plain silly, anything can happen."

"Well...at least we aren't playing Fmjphoenix!"

"But we are - they're in our group."

"...bugger."

In a hotel room somewhere in Livingston, the only two hockey fans in Druida are rooming with each other...

Fan #1: "Good night's sleep?"

Fan #2: "Uhuh."

Fan #1: "I can't wait for us to get started against those Angry Rabbit type things later! We're gonna shot 'em down!"

Fan #2 giggles.

Fan #1: "What?"

Fan #2: "That was such a poor joke. Hell, probably cruel, in fact."

Fan #1: "What was?"

Fan #2: "Shoot... rabbits..."

Fan #1: "Sorry, I don't get where you're coming from. These are very angry hockey playing rabbits. You can't actually shoot rabbits like these."

Fan #2: "Jeez. It doesn't matter."

Fan #1: "Now... Oh, look at that, a complimentary copy of the Chicanada Sun's just been put under our door."

Fan #2: "What does it say?"

Fan #1: "Some Chicanadian woman wants one of these angry rabbits. Is that newsworthy?"

Fan #2: "That's Jaquee Moriseete. And yes, it is newsworthy, because it might be dangerous for the rabbits, and they're guests in this country."

Fan #1: "So if she's that dangerous, why don't they lock her up?"

Fan #2: "Because she hasn't actually done anything yet."

Fan #1: "So will it still be safe for us to go to the game tonight in our costumes?"

Fan #1 pulls a big white fluffy suit out with floppy ears and a Druida uniform on of his suitcase.

Fan #2: "I don't see why not. I mean, it isn't as if they're convincing. I mean, how many rabbits do you see in Druida kit?"

Fan #1: "Fair point. Shall we get drunk to celebrate that fact?"

Fan #2: "Nah. Let's just go do it anyway."

The roster of the Inbreedia All Stars (The Grey Ghosts) has just been released.

Mostly a motley crew of college players, minor league up and comers, and a smattering of professionals that somehow got accepted into legitimate leagues, the Grey Ghosts are a new, and hungry team. They are also a team from a country in the deep south, known more for their championship moonshine drinking teams than their hockey pro's.

Uniform: Gray, with stars and bars bordering, with orange trim. The logo consists of a ghostlike rebel soldier in a gray uniform, hoisting the Dixie flag.

Major Stars: Porkie Robinson - At 6'5 and weighing in at 250 lbs, Porkie can be a very imposing sight; a man with farmboy built muscles and a surly temperment that only years of alcohol abuse, combined with the knowledge that he is in the twilight of his career, can bring. One of the few players who has experience outside the Inbreedia Intermediate Hockey Association (IIHA), due to being kicked out of the league for whittling his hockey stick into a stabbing spear. After years of playing in various leagues, he has come home to defend his country's honour and bust heads.

Jethro Sharpton - The best goalie to come out if Inbreedia, Jethro Sharpton has the medals and trophies to prove it. He broke his midget, major juniors, and college league records for most shutouts in a season and for the highest goals against average. As part of the successful expansion team 'Atlanti Sky Chickens', he helped backstop the newcomers to their first ever IIHA Distiller's Cup. This season alone, he averaged at 1.78 gaa, better by far than any goaltender.

Willie 'No Tooth' Marshall - Considered the best power forward in the IIHA, Willie 'No Tooth' Marshall is always at the forefront of the tried and true Kentucket Razorbacks. He potted 58 goals and added 45 assists to his record. A colourful personality on and off the ice, he is also known for his rowdy celebrations. Also well known on and off the ice is his habit of picking fights, hence the nickname.

Grant Stuart IV - The coach of Inbreedia's national hockey program is also regarded as the most celebrated coach in the IIHA. The youngest son of a blueblood confederate family, Grant saw not much of a future unless his older brothers met with unfortunate accidents. Since he didn't have the stomach to do something about his predicament, he instead borrowed some of daddy's money to buy a hockey franchise. Fifteen years later, Stuart's Alabammer Slammers won eight Distiller's Cups, Ten division titles, and twelve Grant Stuart IV trophies for coach of the year. He is known for being the best at neutralizing 'the trap' by coaching a doctrine of overwhelming offense and aggressive forechecking, which also makes his team one of the most entertaining to watch.


Coaches:
Coach: Grant Stuart the IV (Alabammer Slammers, head coach)
Goalie Coach: Jebediah P. Rutherford jr. (Atlanti Sky Chickens, goalie coach)
Forward coach: Remi St.Mark (Lewseranna Crawdads, forward coach)

Goalies:
24: Jethro Sharpton (Atlanti Sky Chickens): 25 years-old
5: Robbie Copperbottom (Kentucket Razorbacks): 21 years-old

Defensemen:
1st pair
43: Porkie Robinson (HC Hybernia, Isle Loftraven): 38 years-old
97: Morgan Delahue (University of Atlanti Bonefish): 19 years-old
2nd pair
21: Billy Shackleford (Vitrobad Klennetaible, Krowboka): 20 years-old
35: Rusty P. Carter (Alabammer Slammers): 28 years-old
3rd pair
68: Buddy James Armstrong (Richmound Patriots): 22 years-old
82: Torque Wilson (Atlanti Tech Birddogs): 18 years-old

Forwards:
1st line
7: Billy Bob Lickspittle (Ft. Worthy Bloodhounds): 31 years-old
8: Thaddius Claybourne (Habana Sunspots): 26 years-old
12: Willy 'No Tooth' Marshall (Burningham Rebels): 36 years-old
2nd Line
6: Joey Wallace (Arkansawyer Toothpicks): 28 years-old
11: Cassius Graves (Kentucket Razorbacks): 26 years-old
10: Kevin 'Cooter' Cootsville (Dwainewright Flames, Panzemonazzia): 29 years-old
3rd line
14: Pat O'Possum (Kentuket State Water Moccasins): 21 years-old
15: Angus Joel (Alabammer Slammers): 35 years-old
19: Joey Joe Jo 'Joe' Johnson jr (Atlanti Sky Chickens): 24 years-old
4th line
28: Augustus White (Lewseranna Crawdads): 22 years-old
20: Billy Joe Cyrus (Dome Rock, Stanistan): 22 years-old
31: Dale Selvig (Hazzard County Bootleggers): 23 years-old

Livingston Arena, Livingston.

The Inbreedia All Stars gather around after the harkeninng of the coach's whistle. It was their hour to practice on the ice; a superior, cold blend that didn't have Inbreedia ice's almost slushy consistency. It slid well under their well worn skates, impacted hard on their well worn equipment. Aside from the uniforms that were bright with orange and blue in comparison to their somber gray, the player's equipment was old.

Everything wasn't quite up to snuff with the Inbreedia All Stars. A nation of only 12 million, and from a warm southern climate that didn't take too well to hockey, those that did learn how to play weren't exactly prepared for International competition. Some of the players have tried leagues outside their own country. A few even succeeded. In a nation of rednecks, someone had to be good at something.

The players themselves were a grim cast of wide eyed, slack jawed, wheat chewing farmers lads and ruffians. They were not only wet, but also muddy behind the ears. Each one was a large specimen, from the goaltenders in massive pads that made them appear to be modern day knights, to the skinnier, more nimble forwards, and to the largest of large defensemen that looked like they benchpressed cattle at their pappy's plantation. Each had a look to them that was not only brutish, but also lacking a glimmer of intelligence.

Such cream of the crop, that which was gathered to represent Inbreedia.

That is, unless you count the coach.

A mustachioed gentleman in his forties, with salt and pepper hair and a sterling white suit of a southern colonel, Grant Stuart the IV had the look of a rich, aristocratic blue blood. He also had brains, which were needed more in the coaching corner where it was safe to lead his living gamepieces, rather than out on the ice where said brains would be wasted away on numerous career concussions.

Jeb Rutherford jr, Grant's assistant coach, came to join him at his side. Considerably younger, and as blonde as a field of wheat, the younger Jeb had a natural charisma to him, and a voice that was both naive farmboy and smooth talking operator. He was a ladies man, and a shrewd tactician.

"Gather around, I say gather around here boys!" Grant Stuart commanded his charges, whom were laughing off the practice like it was a game from their junior league days. Though daunted, the boys did like butting heads together. Or against each other. Or with anyone, really. Hockey's appeal in Inbreedia was its violence, which was expected in a nation where monster truck rallies were considered a higher artform.

The players kept chatting among themselves. Grant beckoned, "Quiet, I say, quiet!" A hush filled the stadium, and Grant cleared his voice before proceeding, "As you folks well know, we have been gathered here to represent the great nation of Inbreedia for the Cherry Cup. For some of you... hell... for all of you, this will be your first taste of international action. For most of you... your first taste of living outside your own country."

"We done well then don't get attached to it, we's last!" Wisecracked one of the forwards on the fourth line.

"Yeah, I hears we's last!" Piped up another.

"Yeah, and I done well heard that we's gettin' our ass kicked by Starbladyia!" Said another player in a smart alecky tone.

A goalie raised his glove, "We's last in our division! Dang ol' stat makin', damnyankee sons a ******** thinks we's no good! How're we suppose t'play when they's don't think we any good?"

"We're last in our division behind Druidia... and they's SUCK!!!!"

The players chattered, the jovial atmosphere of their verbal sparring brought on by their practice gone asunder, replaced by uneasiness. It was clear that the Inbreedia team didn't think much of themselves. Most didn't have a chance of getting a hockey job outside their country. Some just didn't qualify. Most were the type of people unfit for the army for temperment reasons.

Grant Stuart knew this, and he didn't know how to ease their fears. But try he would.

"Now hold on, I say, hold on for a cotton pickin' minute!" Grant Stuart interjected, the rumble in his voice made so famous by his recorded Alabammer locker room rants that every player kept quiet afterwards.

Grant Stuart was right in his assessment. These people were not international hockey team material. Most were hot doggers, or insecure, or were just not right for the team. Cohesiveness was a serious problem. Their country, not giving a possum's **** about their team, gave very little money for the trip and uniforms, much less the equipment they needed. He had to face facts. Hockey had a small and loyal following in Inbreedia, but Inbreedia itself wasn't a hockey nation. There was no way they could make the calibre of team they needed for the Cherry Cup.

Unless they were one of those communist sports program sponsoring countries, which abducted infants from the cradle and indoctrinated them into one sport, and one sport only, for the rest of their lives, thereby making perfect athletes of limited scope.

The more Grant thought of it, the more he liked it.

But for now, he had to do with these wheat chewing rednecks and all their flaws. It was best to say some sort of rubbish before they all lost heart.

"Hold on..." he started on his rant, pacing back and forth like a general, "We have ourselves here some stiff competition, that I know fo' sure! We have the best team in the league in our division, and two more which have more experience than we have. And you know what? I DON'T GIVE A GOOD GOD DAMN WHO THEY ARE!"

He slammed his fist into the boards in a resounding crack. Each player flinched, and Grant received a sore fist and startled players for his effort. ~"Good, give the good ol' boys some backbone!"~ He thought before saying, "Who give a cow's plop what the hell they are! They could be the best damn hockey players in the universe. I don't care. I really don't. They haven't gone on the ice to face us. What makes you think they deserve our respect? Have they earned it on our ice, against us yet? Hell no! They deserve to be looked down upon like the dirt clods they are!"

"And what more... I don't want you people treating them like they are larger than life. They aren't. They're no better than you. And if you treat them like that, you'll find that these giants are not so big, and that will embolden you to win."

One of the forwards raised their hands "Suh?"

"Yeah, what is it!?" Snapped the coach.

The forward asked in his gravelly voice, "You'se thinks we's win?"

"YOU DAMN RIGHTS WE'S WIN!" Grant lied, but with enough power to convince everyone else that it was true, "We's a small nation! We can't compete militarily with most of these peoples! But there is one field that makes us all equal, one where size, resources, numbers... they don't matter. What matters is sports, boys! Sports! Sports makes us all equal! It's what brings a superpower to its knees by some middle of nowhere backwater!"

"Like us, sur?"

"Yeah! Like us! And no ranking will tell us what we can or cannot be! So go out there and win! Kick the big guys right in the *#$&@(* grainsacks! 'Cause it's the only time you'll be able to do it for the rest of your life! WIN FOR ME!"

The players, upon hearing the coach's empassioned speach, started to nod and believe what he was saying. Some smiled. Then one player started to rebel yell, his 'yehaw' echoing in the spacious stadium. Then more players joined in, whooping and yelling to their heart's content, fully in the illusion that they can win.

Grant shook his head. They may not win, but at least he can give his players hope.

After being in most of the first 8, Gulf States took two CC's off to practice. Step up our game and be a competitor on the world scene again. Now we're back.

Tag, I'll put something better up later.

scene - Interior. Office of Otto Matic, Director of Operations for the Artic Hares. The door (on which someone was just knocking, but has now given up and left) is locked. The shades are drawn, the shutters shut. The only light in the room is what spills in through the transom above the door - and eminates from the screen saver on Otto's PC. A DJ babbles incoherently (as do all of his ilk) from the radio sitting on the corner of Otto's desk. The phone is ringing, but it seems there is no one here to answer it. On the credenza along the back wall is a pile of fluffy grey and white cloth, with what appear to be...rabbit ears?

scene - Exterior, just outside Livingston Arena. It's a sunny, brisk day. At the corner a hotdog vendor is busy...uh...vending hotdogs. The face of his current customer, whose back is to us, is reflected in the shiny polished aluminum of his hotdog stand. The face is somehow familiar - and yet, we can't place it.

"Kraut with that, chief?"

"Sure."

"Mustard? Ketchup? Relish?"

"Just a little mustard."

"Somethin' to drink?"

"Beer?"

"No license. Got pop, lemonade, ice-tea, bottled water..."

"Gimme an ice-tea, then. You been out here all day?"

"Since 8 this mornin' chief. I do a good business on this corner, specially days there's an event in the Arena."

"Did ya notice if Jaquie got here yet?"

"Jaquie Moriseete?"

"Well, who else?"

"Not that I saw."

"Got a cell phone?"

"Yeah - why?"

"Look, it's important to me to know when Jaquie gets here, each day of the tournament. If I give you my number, will ya call me each day when she arrives?"

"I look like a PI to you, pal? Not for nothin', but what's in it for me?"

"Let's just say I'm orderin' a dozen dogs with everything every day for the rest of the tournament - but...I'm never gonna pick 'em up, if you get my drift."

"4 dozen."

"2 dozen."

"3 dozen"

"...2..."

"2 dozen it is."

The vendor's customer scribbles on his napkin, and hands it to the vendor.

"Here. Call this number, any time she gets here, just as soon as she gets here. That's critical. I have to know immediatley. If someone else answers, just tell 'em she's here and what time she got here. Got it?"

"Call this number right when Jaquie gets here any time she gets here and if it aint you, leave a message."

"Good man."

The familiar figure begins to walk away.

"Hey, buddy! Gonna pay me for that dog?"

"Uh...yeah. Here."

"And how about them "other" dogs?"

"Keep a tab. I'll stop by on Fridays and pay ya."

"You'll pay me today, in advance."

"I'll give you half a weeks worth today, on account. The rest, and half the following week, on Friday."

"Done."

The vendor accepts a bunch of crumpled bank notes from his customer, carefully counting them. He hands two small bills back. The customer smiles. The vendor winks. The customer winks back, then begins eating his hotdog as he turns and makes his way up the stairs into Livingston Arena.

The Marquee at the Livingston Arena:

Cherry Cup XI
Livingston Division
Schedule of Games
(All Games Here at the Livingston Arena)

Livingston Division Teams
Starblaydia
Very Angry Rabbits
Druida
Inbreedia

Matchday One
Starblaydia (2) vs Inbreedia (0)
Very Angry Rabbits (1) vs Druida (0)

Matchday Two
Starblaydia vs Druida
Very Angry Rabbits vs Inbreedia

Matchday Three
Starblaydia vs Very Angry Rabbits
Druida vs Inbreedia

Matchday Four
Starblaydia vs Inbreedia
Very Angry Rabbits vs Druida

Matchday Five
Starblaydia vs Druida
Very Angry Rabbits vs Inbreedia

Matchday Six
Starblaydia vs Very Angry Rabbits
Druida vs Inbreedia

*Tickets for all upcoming games available at the box office*

New and (hopefully) improved

Everything old is new again. The new, post-Easter, New and Improved Resurrected Cassowaries had a dismal showing on home turf. In fact, it's becoming notorious among local sports fans that Tanah Burung's teams lose badly when hosting major tournaments. The tradition, established in Field Hockey World Cup 1, was respected in Cherry Cup Ten (or X, for Starblaydia's Sore Loozers) as the Cassowaries drank, crashed and burned, losing the crucial match against Very Drunken Rabbits.

"With the power of prayer, we can turn this around," said the new coach, Sister Hale Maria da Santaclara da Cruz, as she announced an entirely new line-up including absolutely no returning players. "Out with the old, in with the New and Improved," she said, adding that this year's players would be "all new. And did i mention that it's a new team?"

Tanah Burung is considering changing its arch-nemesis to Very Angry Rabbits, after realizing the team is no longer in Starblaydia's league. A national referendum on the question "Who is our arch-nemesis?" will take place shortly.Taking note of a newspaper article covering this impending auspicious vote, Ruppert the Incompetent, Prince of Edgeburrow and the Far Marches, pauses, turns to his brother, The Old Grey Hare, King of the Armed Republic of Very Angry Rabbits, and says.

"I didn't realize cassaroles could vote."

Everyone in the room double over in laughter. Rup may be incompetent, he may be inept, insane, even...but he's got a heck of a sense of humor.

posted outside the Office of Otto Matic, Director of Operations for the Very Angry Rabbits hockey team "The Artic Hares."

Collect yourselves before you step out on the ice tonight. Druida is a nation with a long and glorious sporting history. You can be sure they're here to play - you better be, too. It's still hockey, no matter who takes the ice against us.

If you're wondering where the beer you had stashed all over the locker room is - it's locked up in my office. If you still want it after the game...

Go get 'em!

Pick up your disguises in the equipment room before you put on your pads and uniforms, fellas.

Otto

[ooc: Ooh, more rabbits for Jaquee! Even if they dress up! I'll RP more adventures for the halpless Chicanada staff tonight]

http://img72.exs.cx/img72/6189/cherrycupxilogoproposal1sf.gif
Cherry Cup XI - Matchday 1 Results

North Region

Livingston Division

Starblaydia 2 Inbreedia 0
Very Angry Rabbits 1 Druida 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Starblaydia 3 1 0 0 2:0 2
2. Very Angry Rabbits 3 1 0 0 1:0 1
3. Druida 0 0 0 1 0:1 -1
4. Inbreedia 0 0 0 1 0:2 -2

Acadia Division

Oliverry 1 Hisam 1
Squornshelous 0 Oliverry 1

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Oliverry 4 1 1 0 2:1 1
2. Hisam 1 0 1 0 1:1 0
3. Squornshelous 0 0 0 1 0:1 -1

West Region

Paradiso Division

Corneliu 2 Gulf States 2
Liverpool England 1 Vilita 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Liverpool England 3 1 0 0 1:0 1
2. Corneliu 1 0 1 0 2:2 0
2. Gulf States 1 0 1 0 2:2 0
4. Vilita 0 0 0 1 0:1 -1

Cana Division

Hockey Canada 4 Kericia 2
Kalaalit Nunaat 0 Hockey Canada 4

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Hockey Canada 6 2 0 0 8:2 6
2. Kericia 0 0 0 1 2:4 -2
3. Kalaalit Nunaat 0 0 0 1 0:4 -4

East Region

Colombo Division

South Ossetia 0 Fmjphoneix 0
Euroslavia 1 Harlesburg 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Euroslavia 3 1 0 0 1:0 1
2. South Ossetia 1 0 1 0 0:0 0
2. Fmjphoneix 1 0 1 0 0:0 0
4. Harlesburg 0 0 0 1 0:1 -1

Eastentown Division

Fimble loving peoples 1 Lovisa 1
Robotopolis 4 Fimble loving peoples 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Robotopolis 3 1 0 0 4:0 4
2. Lovisa 1 0 1 0 1:1 0
3. Fimble loving peoples 1 0 1 1 1:5 -4

South Region

Finnen Division

Sjwitz 0 Stumperia 1
Kelssek 0 Chicanada 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Stumperia 3 1 0 0 1:0 1
2. Kelssek 1 0 1 0 0:0 0
2. Chicanada 1 0 1 0 0:0 0
4. Sjwitz 0 0 0 1 0:1 -1

Star Point Division

Iansisle 2 Formal Dances 2
Tanah Burung 1 Tonissa 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Tanah Burung 3 1 0 0 1:0 1
2. Iansisle 1 0 1 0 2:2 0
3. Formal Dances 1 0 1 0 2:2 0
4. Tonissa 0 0 0 1 0:1 -1

---------------------------------

Notice attached to official Scores sheet - for all Coaches and Staff

Remember that everyone does move on to the next round. The top two from each division make the Knockout stage. The remaining thirteen teams make the Second Chances Round. Which means everyone will play at least seven games and all 29 teams will have an official rank at the end of the Cup.

OOC: Isn't it 2 points for a win in Ice Hockey?

FLP's cup going down the drain in round one.

A humiliating loss to a robotic side from Robotopolis, a repeat of the teams last game in the last cup, followed by a draw with the lowly Lovisa appears to have just about ended their cup before it even got off the ground.

But with the system in place by the hosts there are plenty more chances to be humiliated.

Onward to the next loss!

OOC: Isn't it 2 points for a win in Ice Hockey?

Chicanada Hockey League plays with three points for a win, one for a tie. Cherry Cup will be under similar rules.

The door to Otto's office is ajar. Well, no, not really a jar - it's been forced open, the wood around the lock in splinters. A large portion of his office has been trashed - the trashing having stopped when the beer was finally located. There is a trail of empties leading from Otto's office, through the Artic Hares locker room, and out into the hallway that connects the locker room and "back stage" areas, up the stairs, and into the walkway - lobby around Livingston Arena proper.

And there we find a conga line of very inebriated rabbits - out of uniform, but still in disguise. some are disguised as humans, several of the shorter ones as dwarves - and there appear to be a kangaroo, two bears, and a partridge (in, of course, a pear tree).

The conga line slowly, and with a great deal of effort expended by most participants to remain upright, and a great deal more to ensure they do not drop the various bottles of various liquids (all alcoholic) they are carrying along, wends it's way around the arena, between the fans who have not yet cleared out, bumping in to not a few, but politely picking up those they knock over. And they are chanting.

"So much for Druida! - Next we stomp Inbreedia!
So much for Druida! - Next we stomp Inbreedia!"

They are being trailed by their Director of Operations, Otto Matic.

"Come on now, guys. Back to the locker room. Guys! That's not nice. Come on, let's get back to the hotel. Not nice, fellas. Please? Guys?"

They're ignoring him. Again. No...I guess it's "Still"...

Jaquee Moriseete was late to Livingston. While she loved watching Hockey Canada pull a huge upset in defeating the defending champs from Kalaalit Nunaat, it ran so long she missed her exit time and had to charter a plane just to get to Livingston.

Inside the Livingston Arena, Jaquee tried to look normal while holding a butterfly net and looking slighty botoxed. Of course, when there's a conga line of people, dwarves, kangaroos, bears and birds, it makes it easy to be ignored.

Confused (a natural state for her), she went to the Central Office where she encountered a befuddled Emmerdile Kalanite.

"Um...Ms. Moriseete?" Emmerdile asked the overly grinning woman, "Shouldn't you be in Cana?"

"WHERE ARE THE FLUFFY WUFFY WABBITY RABBITS!"

Sheesh, she's lost it "Um, the VAR has already left for the evening, I think. Now, how do I get rid of a massive conga line?"

"A massive what line? And damn it, I want a rabbit!"

Before Emmeridile could respond, Jaquee ran back out to the arena front. She scrambled around until she spotted what appeared to be a rabbit in the distance. The rabbit was wearing some shirt from Druida, she could make out, but her happiness expolded as she shreiked "MR FLUFFYKINS!" and made her way over to them.

The Druida fans, disappointed with their loss to VAR and slightly wasted from one too many Chicana Lagers, were stunned when the taller man was tackled from behind by what looked like a dwarf holding a butterfly net.

"Harvey? You there?"

"Yes, Your Hareness. Right here."

"Oh. I can never tell, what with your being invisible and all."

"I am six feet tall, Your Hareness."

"Six feet of invisible is just as invisible as 6 centimeters of invisible, Harv."

"You've got a point, Sir."

"How're those "Artic Bunnies" doin'?"

"Hares"

"Where?"

"What?"

"Not what - where."

"Huh?"

"You said "Here", and I said "Where?", Harv."

"No, sir, "Hares" is what I said. Artic Hares"

"Oh. Right. Leave it to Ruppert to come up with an inane name. Anywho, how're they doin', Harvey?"

"So far, Your Hareness, so good. One game, one win."

"Who'd they beat?"

"Druida."

" ? "

"Take my word for it, sir - Druida does exist."

"Well, okay. So, who else is in this Fruit Cup?"

"CHERRY Cup, boss."

"Cherry is a fruit."

"So are...um...who else? Well, I just happen to have a list with me. Here ya go."

Participants
Kalaallit Nunaat - Iceberg Current Champions colors are red and white
Iansisle - Gulls colors are white, orange and blue (http://www.sandiegomag.com/issues/february00/images/gulls.jpg)
Druida - Lightning colors are brown, dark brown, and yellow (http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y2/NEWI/cherrykits.bmp)
Starblaydia - Rayzors colors are purple (and more purple) (http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/CCKit.jpg)
Euroslavia - Phantoms colors are black and red
Very Angry Rabbits - Artic Hares colors are white with green trim and red piping
Chicanada - Kodiaks colors are red, blue and gold
Inbreedia – Gray Ghosts colors are Gray, with stars and bars bordering, with orange trim
Vilita - Ice Cats colors are orange and teal
South Osettia
Hockey Canada - Flyers Logo (http://www.onlinesports.com/images/jhd-nhl-flyers.jpg) - Home Jersey (http://mypage.bluewin.ch/nhl-shirt/...Flyers_home.jpg) - Away Jersey (http://www.sportsdepot.com/images/awayflyers.gif)
Tonissia - - Ice Comets colors are red, blue and white
Robotopolis - Synthos colors are Dr, Wily. Robotopolis Synthos' Team Logo (http://www.aaroncity.com/kanjiri/drwlogo.gif)
Hisam
Corneliu - Penguins colors are black and gold
Fimble loving peoples colors are bright yellow and green, with black trim
Stumperia – Stumperphants
Squornshelous - Ferrets colors are black and red (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v629/squorn/squornshelous.jpg)
Oliverry colors are green, blue and red (http://membres.lycos.fr/lhjmq2004/Image1.png), alternate jersey (http://membres.lycos.fr/lhjmq2004/Image2.png)
Tanah Burung - Cassowaries colors are yellow, black and red
Liverpool England - Ice Terminators
Fmjphoenix - Blades
Kelssek – Blueleafs
Sjwitz - Silversharks
Lovisa - Polish Bisons colors are dark blue, white, and blue
The Gulf States
Formal Dances - Waltzers
Kericia - Seagulls
Harlesburg - Blades

Goal
#66 Tim Buktu Labonte Ridge Vikings
#23 Oliver Oyl Cove Parrots
Forwards
#3 Buck Toof Cove Parrots
#90 Judd Donlevy St Dale Blackbirds
#55 Jak Dex-Morouve Labonte Ridge Vikings
#1 Mack Truggs Daytona City Aces
#87 Neil Down Thunder Valley Schock
Defense
#79 Lonny Lonsonbergerton VIII Bristol Bruins
#12 Newt Iddy Roush City Blue Knights
#25 Bud Weiser Rousch City Blue Nights
#0 Vinny Hy Cove Pirates
#10 Scotty Moddi Vickville Maroons
#68 Don Halo Mid-Ohio Masters

The Cassowary Report, brought to you by Stout Lout Stewed Rodent Ale

"Slow ice? Nah, it's the brilliance of Martina in the net!"

Sister Hale Maria was addressing her troops in the dressing room after a sparkling 1-0 win over Tonissa. With the other teams drawing their match, that put the Cassowaries on top of their group. In fact, with two points they have already equalled their total in Cherry Cup X.

Surprisingly, it was Zhou who marked the lone goal of the night, a pretty wrist shot that was too tricky and twisty for Tonissa 'keeper Tim Buktu. The Kid Line came close, but were shut down by hard forechecking. Or, as Sister Hale Maria called it, "cheating thuggery. They deserve to have their knickles rapped, ever so hard. Thwap! THWAP!"

The excited nun left the room.

Kericia Loses Cherry Cup Opener 4-2

Kericia News Service
Mar 29 05

Today was a historic day for the entire nation, as Kericians watched their Seagulls play their first game as Kericia's national team. They came up short, however, losing to 10th ranked Hockey Canada four goals to two. Star Kericia player Mike (aka "Bagel") Friel scored the first goal for Kericia, slipping one past Hockey Canada goalie Cameron Greer early in the first period, giving the 'Gulls a 1-0 lead. This lead evaporated quickly, as the Flyers would score the next three goals. Left winger Bay Stoker cut the lead to one, with an assist from center Mark Talamo, towards the end of the second period. The Flyers would score once more in the third to put the game out of reach. At the post-game press conference, coach Mark Fierro commented on his team's play. "I thought we played okay, but I think Frank had a real tough game at goalie today. If we can step up the defense and our play at goalie, maybe we can contend for our next couple games. But we'll see." Kericia faces a tough doubleheader tomorrow, meeting Hockey Canada again and the defending champion Iceberg from Kalaallit Nunaat.

Acadia Division an Unhappy one

With three losses almost guarunteed, Squornshelous will have to beat Hisam
Sharing a group with former champions Oliverry is not an easy prospect. In fact, the Ferrets felt lucky after Gameday one just to have held them to just 1-0. "This loss is something good that we can build on, maybe next game we can hope for a similar one or even a draw," said Goalkeeper Viktor Orlov. The rest of the team expressed similar sentiments. However, when Orlov was quoted by numerous foreign networks, it was followed by the phrase, "Only in Squornshelous." We agree, only in Squornshelous can this level of dedication to horribleness in hockey be found. Not even Druida, whose paltry threat does not phase the Ferrrets one bit, can match our dismal level of play.

Squornshelous Ferrets Roster:

# Pos Name Line Age Club
1 C Pavel Kasparov 1 24 Vogsphere Imperials
2 RW Andrey Gorvich 1 27 Margrathea Slartibartfasts
4 D Kriegor Markesson 1 31 Golgafrincham Marauders
8 C Jan Nelson 2 28 Stavromula Blades
9 D Persson Anders 2 30 Blerontia Demons
13 LW Paul Duckett 3 26 Golgafrincham Marauders
21 RW Jeff Robertson 3 30 Xaxis Firebirds
22 C Peter Krantz 3 29 Xaxis Firebirds
31 D Bjorn Rasmussen 1 23 Striterax Knights
32 GK Viktor Orlov - 25 Vogsphere Imperials
36 D Krog Dugsk 3 25 Damogran Trogdors
43 LW Igor Petchukov 1 19 Striterax Knights
52 D Wet Biscuit MacGlee 3 26 Damogran Trogdors
61 LW Ilya Chuko 2 18 Algolia Suntigers
81 D Adolf Netbers 2 21 Santraginus Sharks
84 RW Petr Zarik 2 22 Stavromula Blades
90 GK Miika Svenson - 20 Santraginus Sharks

Line refers to skaters only, Orlov is the starting goalkeeper

CORNELIU SPORTS PAGE
Corneliu in Cherry Cup 11

Corneliu arrives at their destination. It is the same team that lead them far in their first Cherry Cup. The Corneliu Penquins are set for this years action.

Corneliu 2 Gulf States 2
Liverpool England 1 Vilita 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Liverpool England 3 1 0 0 1:0 1
2. Corneliu 1 0 1 0 2:2 0
2. Gulf States 1 0 1 0 2:2 0
4. Vilita 0 0 0 1 0:1 -1[/code]

Notice attached to official Scores sheet - for all Coaches and Staff

Remember that everyone does move on to the next round. The top two from each division make the Knockout stage. The remaining thirteen teams make the Second Chances Round. Which means everyone will play at least seven games and all 29 teams will have an official rank at the end of the Cup.

CORNELIU SPORTS PAGE
Corneliu Draws with Gulf States

Corneliu opens up this Cherry Cup with a 2-2 draw with Gulf States.

"It was disappointed considering we had a 2 goal lead going into the third period. We will work better as we prepare for our next opponet."

The Corneliu Penguins are coming off their first Cherry Cup as division champs and are looking to improve on it. This tie hampers them since this is only a three game group.

"We'll improve! We have no choice but to improve. If we don't, we go home early and that is something none of us want to do!"

Hockey Canada logs 2 wins. 8 goals total not bad for physical team.

Who says brains over brawn?

Today Hockey Canadian players have their "HaPPy tIMe" as they get the day off. Dave Semenko was even seen staring at his hand for a period of 4 hours. When asked for an interview, here is what happened:

An attractive reporter walks up to Dave Semenko (staring at his hand focused).

"Dave, you've had 2 goals and 22 Penalty Minutes, how do you fe-"

Dave shouts as he stares the reporter down

"STOP! I NEED MY KA-WIET TIME SO I CAN FOCUS! PRETTY LADY DOESN'T WANT DAVE TO PLAY GOOD! PRETTY LADY GO BYE-BYE!"

By now he goes into an uncontrollable rampage injuring the reporter. It took 17 tranquilizer darts to take him down. Enough to take down 4 fully-grown african elephants and a blue whale.

OOC: That'll teach those blonde reporters to mess with me! (Brunette here, my pic is on my siggy)

Ashlee Langdone, long time Gulls' enforcer and still on the run from the Tanah Burung police after an ill-advised attempt to blow up one of their premier sporting facilities, sat quietly in the locker room sharpening his hockey stick.

"So, uh, I guess you're pretty mad about only drawing with Formal Dances, eh?" asked Mark Woolf, who was standing at the door of the locker room.

"I am not mad," replied Langdone. He plucked a single hair from the back of his neck and, ever so carefully, split it perfectly along his stick's blade. A ghastly smile broke across his face. "Oh, no, I am without anger. But tomorrow - tomorrow will be a day of reckoning. A day of blood."

Star Point Division

Iansisle 2 Formal Dances 2
Tanah Burung 1 Tonissa 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Tanah Burung 3 1 0 0 1:0 1
2. Iansisle 1 0 1 0 2:2 0
3. Formal Dances 1 0 1 0 2:2 0
4. Tonissa 0 0 0 1 0:1 -1

---------------------------------

Notice attached to official Scores sheet - for all Coaches and Staff

Remember that everyone does move on to the next round. The top two from each division make the Knockout stage. The remaining thirteen teams make the Second Chances Round. Which means everyone will play at least seven games and all 29 teams will have an official rank at the end of the Cup.

WALTZ CITY JOURNAL--SPORTS PAGE

Formal Dances tied Iansisle 2-2 in their very first international hockey game. No one expected them to put up 2 goals but the team that is made up from the Women's College Hockey Eastern Regional All Star Team has proved everyone wrong.

"This is exciting. We are really enjoying ourselves here." Tanya Carson, the team's goalie stated. "We are hoping to move on and this is a good start."

Team Captain Rachel Walker also stated that she was pleased with the result. "Though we didn't win it, it was great experience. We will take what we have learned and apply it to our next opponet."

Coach Michelle Lawrence was very optimistic. "We still have a long road. This was only one game and we played well in it. Hopefully we can take what we have learned and apply it. We have tough teams to face and we will need to play 100% if we have any hope of moving on."

The tie... so maybe it's something

After a two year hiatus from the Cherry Cup, The Gulf States returns for another go round in NationStates highest hockey tournament. And in the return match, a 2-2 tie with a nation only in it's second cup. Well, perhaps would be a good time to get rid of some of the rustiness.

Then again, The Gulf States is a major hockey nation. The nation includes 9 of the Canadian provinces and territories. People talk about what happens in the Cherry Cup and the results of TGS hockey, from huge cities Toronto and Montreal to the small towns of Manitoba and Prince Edward Island. The Gulf States, or parts of it, eat sleep and breathe hockey.

It's a shame that The Gulf States has gone so long and continues to struggle. Tying against a relatively new team in the world hockey scene is hopefully not a sign of the continued struggles to the former hockey powerhouse.

"I hate people. Squirmy pink fleshy things. Weak people who can't survive without watching hockey. Mindlessly worshipping their athletes, placing so much worthless trust in the value of the Desjardins Cup... I will destroy their dreams. I WILL CRUSH THE UNION, DESTROY THIS SPORT YOU CALL ICE HOCKEY, AND I WILL TAKE YOU ALL DOWN WITH ME!! MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"That was KHL commissioner Barry Gettman, speaking to reporters on the ongoing labour dispute. Meanwhile, Team Kelssek's first game at Cherry Cup XI against hosts Chicanada finished scoreless."

"A draw... well... uh..."

"Not too bad, right?"

"No... I just realised he's evil."

"Who?"

"Gettman."

"I see. Anyway back to the topic at hand..."

"That guy from the KHLPA is Beezlebub."

"Actually, if you remember, they discovered that he was a very angry rabbit in disguise, but getting back on topic..."

"No, I swear. I was at that union conference and I saw him. He has cloven hooves. I swear it!"

"Uh... Here are some highlights from the game...."

Back in his hotel room after the game against Very Angry Rabbits, Druida Fan #2 decides it might be a good idea to right his thoughts down in a little red book that just so happens in his pocket. Possibly a diary of sorts he keeps, I think. Anyway, here's what it said.

"Not to bad a result today, we only lost by one to Very Angry Rabbits, so I guess there might well be a little bit of hope for the rest of the campaign. Starting to get worried, though. Haven't seen Trevor for over eight hours now, not since that crazy woman ran off with him. I mean, don't they have rabbits here? Surely she could tell he wasn't one, they were the worst costumes since... well, ever. I just hope nothing happens to him. As the saying goes, two's company, one's insanity. Is that the right one? Well, I know what I mean, anyway. Going to get drunk now to see if it makes me any happier about things. Night."

Waitasecond... where the hell are these mythical RP's?

I hear so much about them, but all I see are one liners.

I work to make a story, and... I still lose, all without finding Starblaydia's.

Am I missing something? Am I doing it wrong?

PISS ANT NATION INBREEDIA GETS ITS ASS HANDED TO THEM BY POWERHOUSE STARBLAYDIA!!!!!!!!!!!!

So flashed the papers this morning, as the players roused themselves from a sore and unpleasant slumber.

The sores were from fighting... and it wasn't from the bars.

For the first time in their lives, they were sore from a mere hockey game.

The Inbreedia All Stars barely managed to stop a drubbing from the powerful Starblaydia team. It wasn't as if the Inbreedites were not terrible; in fact, their morale was such that they held out for alot longer than anyone could anticipate. Their power forwards surged on with all their might, trying to run through a gauntlet of beefy Starblaydia dwarves. Their star goalie, Jethro Sharpton, even stopped 48 shots on goal the entire game, putting on a star performance that was drenched by the Starblaydians. Defense... wallowed like pregnant sows, but star defenseman Porkie Robinson managed to body check a Starblaydia forward into the penalty box (which meant right through plexiglass!).

Unfortuantely, that was also the time when the Starblaydia team rallied in revenge.

And the game went downhill from there. Inbreedia wasn't known for their diciplined play. Rebel yelling just didn't cut it against a real, professional team.

"Dang it!" Porkie Robinson boomed out randomly, startling all the other players out of their rest. Beer bottles shifted as still more rousted from the floor, using drink to take away the defeat's sting.

Jethro Sharpton protested, "God dang it, man! I'm tryin' to sleep here!"

"We need to grow up." Porkie muttered.

One of the juniors rousted out of a pile of bottles, "But we's already grown up."

"PUT A SOCK IN IT!" Porkie threw a bottle at the young lad, whom ducked just in time. The bottle crashed noisily into the wall, shattering and sprinkling beer bottle shards on his head.

By this time, the rest of the players were awake.

"Say, why's we here in the bleachers?" Asked Wille No Tooth. The observation was correct. What was to be the after victory party was actually the after defeat party, where the Inbreedites drunk themselves into a depressed stupor. And here they stayed, bemoaning their loss.

Porkie was to have none of it. He ignored the other veteran player's question, and started with his own. "Why's the hell did we lose? I'll tell you's why! We lost because we's amateurs!"

"We's not!"

"I'm captain of the crawdads!"

"We are so good! We took the best team to 2-0. Shoulda been 8-0!"

"Yeah!"

"SHUT UP!" Porkie bellowed, and at 6'5 and 250 pounds, he could make even a whisper seem intimidating. He waited for a hushed silence, then continued, "I's played real hockey before. Them fools don't mess around, like you kids! They take it seriously over in those there other countries. I know! I played out there! I'm a star out there! I maul players bigger than me out there! And I's know for a fact that you kids aren't playing good enough. You's need to play better!"

"We can't play better...."

"YOU CAN!" Porkie defiantly trumpeted, "I knows you can! We here, we's the best Inbreedia's got? Try provin' it for once! You can do it if you's not so intimidated by everyone else, which is what I's saw last night!"

"But we's here fore fun an' experience, ain't we?" Willie asked.

"Haven't you dun well listened to the coach? We's a small nation. We's lickspittle compared to them!"

"Hey! I resemble... I mean I resent that remark!" Growled Billy Bob Lickspittle.

"Oh..." Porkie stuttered apologetically, "I'm sorry, Billy Bob. No pun intended on your dirt poor family an all, but we's gotta do better. We's a small nation compared to everyone else. The only way our nation is to get some of us that respect thang they cherish so handsomely is to get us some wins in sports. Small nations can bring superpowers to their knees this way. Tis the only way we can get some of that there equality, you know what I mean? Get some southern pride in us!"

"Got some of that right here... hyuk!" Giggled the hysterical Dale Selvig, as he produced a bottle of Souther Pride Moonshine.

Porkie swatted the valuable spirit out of pathetic defenseman's hands, "You's don't deserve booze! None of you do! Try playin sober for once! I did last night. How many of you claim to do the same!"

The Inbreedia hockey team muttered indecisively, but only one of the juniors raised his hand.

"Dammit boy, you drank harder than the rest of us!" Porkie accused, and the college lad dropped his hand, "From now on, no liquor before or during the game. After! After the game, we's celebrate. Don't get premature. Secondly, I wanna see some defense! You guys really suck. Prove me wrong for once. And the rest of you's..."

The team hung on to his words, and salivated for more.

"...go to hell, cause you were there last night. Redeem yourselves before your lord. And that's ME AND THE COACH!"

The teammates jumped up in ramrod straight step. THey knew who to listen to. Porkie was not only their general and team captain, but also their heart and soul. None of them were in line with him, learning from his experienced example. Now they were willing to listen.

Most were still shrieking in pain from hangovers, but that was expected.

"No booze?" One of the players objected.

"No booze, boyos. When I was still not so hammered, I heard that the rabbits done gonna stop us. I also heard that they's drunker than us. We're not known for hockey, but we's known for drinkin', and we's definately know how to handle a hangover better than a damnyankee rabbit! We're gonna thump them rabbits good. Use plenty o' rebel yells, and they're heads are gonna be a'poundin!"

"They's good though."

"We's better than they think. Get on the ice. Couch will want to see us practicin' to make up for our there loss."

Porkie clapped his hands together, and though the players shrunk away from each clap like the discharge from a gun, such as their hangovers tortured them, each one went to the showers to clean up from a nighttime of sleeping in bleachers and heavy drinking. Their muscles ached, but their spirits were revitalized. Some even whooped a rebel yell (the grimaced as their heads reminded them of their overconsumption).

In the shadows, the coach was watching, and he was very pleased with himself. Inbreedia was learning, and the team was starting to solidify. Their leaders on the team were showing themselves.

Now he could claim to have a team, instead of claiming to lead a band of rowdy rednecks.

It was almost enough to make up for not being able to afford a hotel for the entire team. Certainly wasn't enough to trick them into collapsing on the bleachers after getting drunk. That was for the next game to decide.

Waitasecond... where the hell are these mythical RP's?

I hear so much about them, but all I see are one liners.

I work to make a story, and... I still lose, all without finding Starblaydia's.

Am I missing something? Am I doing it wrong?

OOC: You lost because luck dictated that Starblaydia, one of the best teams in the world, would beat Inbreedia, not one of the best teams in the world. RPs never, ever guarantee wins. Neither does rank, for that matter. And you can't find my RP (other than my roster post) because I haven't written it yet. Oh wait, here it is.

IC:


"Tell us again how you managed to go through the plexiglass," the team doctor said, winding another bandage round Thrain Naugrim's head, "everything, this time."

"Well Doc," the drowsy Winger replied, "there I was, flying down the Wing, as per usual, and I see this guy coming across me. Robinson, they tell me his name was. Big as a house, he was, and ugly, too. Twice me size, if he were an inch!"

"OK, thats delusional concussion, Thrain," the Doctor said, "but carry on."

"Right," Thrain said, gesturing with his hands to draw a mental picture of the rink, "there I was, flying down the rink. Across this guy comes, bold as brass. He looks like his father's also his brother, if you know what I mean."

The Doctor rolled his eyes at the implication while Thrain continued.

"So I think, right, he wants to slam me into the side," Thrain mimiced a shoulder-charge with his body, nearly falling out of bed, "woah, so, anyway, I thinks to myself 'How are you getting out of this one, Thrain,' and I replies 'Buggered if I know, Thrain,'..."

The Doctor added 'schitzophrenia' to his list of symptoms as Thrain babbled to himself.

"...so by the time I says to myself 'You're in ferrit now, dude', I've already tripped over my hockey stick, and this Robinson guy is about to check me. So I'm there, mid-air, we're tied at Zip-Zip and BLAM! SMACK! BOSH!, I wake up here, and we've won Two-Zip and got three points. Brilliant."

"Thrain, you see what's written on the side of this large, heavy mallet?"

"Uh, not really, Doc, I'm a bit fuzzy."

"Good," the Doc said, holding it high above his head, "it says 'anasthetic'"

Thrain woke up a few hours later.

Ok, works for me. I'm cool with that.

Good RP, btw!

(Love the yokels, by the way.)

Pray for Inbreedia!
and for certain other teams to lose

The Tanah Burung Department of Sports Medicine, Supernatural Phenomena and Faith Healing has announced a campaign of prayer for the gallant Inbreedian hockey team.

"I do declaih, those boys are showin a heap o' promise," said Professor Grits of the Department of Linguistics at Lovefest University. "They'ze showin a lot more than i rahtly expected, matter of fact. All they need now is the powah of prayah, to help them beat some o' them other teams in their lil ol' division."

Tanah Burung fans are applying for permission from the Chicanadian authorities to construct enormous prayer wheels outside selected rinks. These will carry prayers for the success of the Cassowaries and the stunning defeat of Cassowary nemesis candidates by unhailed rookie teams.

(Love the yokels, by the way.)

Pray for Inbreedia!
and for certain other teams to lose

The Tanah Burung Department of Sports Medicine, Supernatural Phenomena and Faith Healing has announced a campaign of prayer for the gallant Inbreedian hockey team.

"I do declaih, those boys are showin a heap o' promise," said Professor Grits of the Department of Linguistics at Lovefest University. "They'ze showin a lot more than i rahtly expected, matter of fact. All they need now is the powah of prayah, to help them beat some o' them other teams in their lil ol' division."

Tanah Burung fans are applying for permission from the Chicanadian authorities to construct enormous prayer wheels outside selected rinks. These will carry prayers for the success of the Cassowaries and the stunning defeat of Cassowary nemesis candidates by unhailed rookie teams.

The Inbreedia National Hockey team watches with rapt interest as the prayer wheels are erected, both on national television, and right outside their rink.

"Whut in tarnation is THAT?!?!" Pointed Dale Selvig of the Hazzard County Bootleggers.

"I don'ts know fo' sho..." The hulking Porkie Robinson comments, "But I shore think it's fo grindin' corn..."

RUPPERT OF EDGEBURROW, PRINCE
Armed Republic of Very Angry Rabbits
Department of International Protests

Honorable Jacqueline Moriseete
Administrator in Chief
Cherry Cup XI
Chicanada:

Ma'am:

It has come to our attention that certain structures are being, or may possibly be, errected in plain site adjacent to Livingston Arena, with the sole intent of requesting divine intervention on Inbreedia's behalf in the result of the upcoming Hockey Game between the aforementioned Inbreedia and our very own Artic Hares.

Unfair! Unethical! Underhanded!

Ma'am, as you recall, we are a nation, as you yourself have said, of cute little fuzzy wuzzy wabbits. Our opponents are...well, they aren't cute little fuzzy wuzzy wabbits, that's for sure. We've looked at them - have you looked at some of these guys? We've looked into their background - well, what can be dug out of what passes for ancestral records there in Inbreedia. A puzzel within a maze behind a paradox overshadowed by nonsense and non-sequitors. I mean, these folks can't even spell, let alone tell you how they're related to one another - and, boy, are they related to one another! Gads, we aren't even able to determine for sure if they have DNA, much less what it might tell us about who and what they are if we could identify it in their genetic makeup. Hah! In Inbreedia, they think genetic makeup is the generic brand of lipstick and eye-shadow.

We've decided to ask you to intervene in this construction of prayer wheels thing on behalf of all the fuzzy-wuzzy-wonderful-wabbits in the world. Of which we are some.

We respectfully request the construction of these giant prayer wheels, by the Cassaroles, under the direction and guidance of Sister Mary Elephant (or some such), be interdicted by the intervention of injuntion. In a word - stopped.

Wemembew, we wuv you, Jacki-kins.

Respectfully small bills, plain brown paper bag, right?

Ruppert
Ruppert the Incompetent
Prince of Edgeburrow and the Far Marches
Trent-huit Rue de Behaviour
Edgeburrow

*ring*

Emmerdile awoke in a panic, thinking she was late to the Livingston Arena for a match. Instead, it was Jaquee in a panic.

"What now," Emmer asked, grumpy about a 5am wakeup call.

"What do you know about prayer wheels?"

"The hell?"

"Apparently the fuzzy wuzzies are protesting the team from Tanah Bur..ung about them constructing prayer wheels to help save the rednecks."

"...I'm sorry, what?"

"Are you still drunk?"

"...."

"Ugh, Emmer!"

"Hey now, when did you get out of jail for assault?"

"Um...that's neither her nor there. But Tanah wants permission to build some big ole prayer wheels to save the innocent souls of Inbreedia or whatever."

"Doesn't the name Inbreedia give any indication as to why they don't need "saving"? If they did, they wouldn't be called Inbreedians!"

"Obviously. Well, I've already forewarded the cash sum...um, I mean denial paperwork to the Livingston Planning Commission with a clear explanation that we don't really allow religious iconagraphy at sporting events. Unless they's in Finnen, cuz of all the Catholics."

"Isn't Livingston predominantly Catholic?"

"..."

"..."

"Anyways, no gigantic prayer wheels are to be built onsite at the Arena. I believe Saint Sebatsion and the House Temple have said the prayer wheels may go there."

"...If you did all this already, why did you call me?"

"To keep you abrest of the situation."

"Ah. Well, I still can sleep off my hangover, so good nightmorning."

"Oh, Emmer?"

"Yes?"

"If you see the adorable fuzzykins, please ask them to sign a pic for me so I may rub it all over my body in delight."

"Eww."

"G'night."

*click*

[ooc: Rabbits, Yokels, Religious Fanatics Oh My!]

http://img72.exs.cx/img72/6189/cherrycupxilogoproposal1sf.gif
Cherry Cup XI - Matchday 2 Results

North Region

Livingston Division

Starblaydia 1 Druida 2
Very Angry Rabbits 2 Inbreedia 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Very Angry Rabbits 6 2 0 0 3:0 3
2. Starblaydia 3 1 0 1 3:2 1
3. Druida 3 1 0 1 2:2 0
4. Inbreedia 0 0 0 2 0:4 -4

Acadia Division

Squornshelous 2 Hisam 2

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Oliverry 4 1 1 0 2:1 1
2. Hisam 2 0 2 0 3:3 0
3. Squornshelous 1 0 1 1 2:3 -1

West Region

Paradiso Division

Corneliu 1 Vilita 1
Liverpool England 2 Gulf States 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Liverpool England 6 2 0 0 3:0 3
2. Corneliu 2 0 2 0 3:3 0
3. Vilita 1 0 1 1 1:2 -1
4. Gulf States 1 0 1 1 2:4 -2

Cana Division

Kalaalit Nunaat 3 Kericia 3
Hockey Canada 1 Kericia 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Hockey Canada 9 3 0 0 9:2 7
2. Kericia 1 0 1 1 5:8 -3
3. Kalaalit Nunaat 1 0 1 2 3:7 -4

East Region

Colombo Division

South Ossetia 1 Harlesburg 1
Euroslavia 1 Fmjphoneix 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Euroslavia 6 2 0 0 2:0 2
2. South Ossetia 2 0 2 0 1:1 0
3. Harlesburg 1 0 1 1 1:2 -1
4. Fmjphoneix 1 0 1 1 0:1 -1

Eastentown Division

Robotopolis 0 Lovisa 1
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Lovisa 4 1 1 0 2:1 1
2. Robotopolis 3 1 0 1 4:1 3
3. Fimble loving peoples 1 0 1 1 1:5 -4

South Region

Finnen Division

Sjwitz 2 Chicanada 0
Kelssek 1 Stumperia 2

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Stumperia 6 2 0 0 3:1 2
2. Sjwitz 3 1 0 1 2:1 1
3. Kelssek 1 0 1 1 1:2 -1
4. Chicanada 1 0 1 1 0:2 -2

Star Point Division

Iansisle 2 Tonissa 1
Tanah Burung 0 Formal Dances 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Iansisle 4 1 1 0 4:3 1
2. Tanah Burung 4 1 1 0 1:0 1
3. Formal Dances 2 0 2 0 2:2 0
4. Tonissa 0 0 0 2 1:3 -2

---------------------------------

Notice attached to official Scores sheet - for all Coaches and Staff

1) Appologies to all the new people for Chicanada's ineptness for not completely explaining that Leagion is very random and RPs don't really affect the results too much. Yeah, Chicanada learned that lesson duing WCXXI Qualifying. All the RPs have been brill and fun to read!

2) In case you were confused, CCXI is running under CHL points, where three points is a win, one for a tie. Yeah, we inflate numbers.

3) You play six games in the Opening Round before the Knockout/Second Chance Stage.

OOC: Formal should be at 2 draws too!

IC:

CORNELIU SPORTS PAGES
Corneliu ties Vilita 1-1

Corneliu ties again. This makes it two straight ties and no victories. Good news is, no losses but this places pressure on Corneliu as they prepare for their upcoming game against Liverpool England.

"It is pretty much a must win for us. We have to beat them if we want to ensure ourselves a place in the knockout phase."

"This was a close call for us. We managed to pop in that late goal to tie it but we should've had that other goal that was disallowed due to kicking the puck. That wasn't a kick and the replay clearly showed that it wasn't a kick. Anyway, our boys will do well. We have so far and we'll just have to move on. We are now focused on Liverpool England and that is that." The coach stated in a post-game interview.

The standings after two look like this:

Corneliu 1 Vilita 1
Liverpool England 2 Gulf States 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Liverpool England 6 2 0 0 3:0 3
2. Corneliu 2 0 2 0 3:3 0
3. Vilita 1 0 1 1 1:2 -1
4. Gulf States 1 0 1 1 2:4 -2

Corneliu is now in second place and Liverpool is still in 3rd with their two nothing victory over Gulf States.

Kericia Edged by Hockey Canada 1-0 in Physical First Game Of Doubleheader; Gets a Surprising 3-3 Result With Kalaalit Nunaat

KNS
Mar 30 05

The Wednesday matchup between Kericia and Hockey Canada was a physical and intense one from the start. When the HC Flyers' lineup was announced as their players skated onto the ice, a few Kericia fans pelted the Flyers with plastic darts, mocking Hockey Canada player Dave Semenko's recent difficulties with the media. The newly motivated Flyers immediately became more interested in bashing Kericia Seagulls' heads in than scoring goals. A hard check into the boards during the second period sent Seagull Steve Czarnecki off in a stretcher, although he may return later in the tournament should the 'Gulls advance. Only one goal was scored in the game, a slapshot that got by Frank Soranno early in the second. It was a discouraging loss, for the Seagulls knew only one goal would have tied it up. Defenceman Doug Parkhurst commented on the physical nature of the game. "It was pretty much a boxing match with 6 guys on each side. With sticks."
Kericia showed their upside in the second game, a 3-3 tie with the currently struggling Kalaalit Nunaat team. Right winger Andrew Hogan had a game you tell your grandkids about, scoring 2 goals and an assist to lead Kericia to an upset draw with last year's champ. Eric Smith recorded the other goal for Kericia. "Well, you can't expect those guys to be down long, so we just took advantage by playing a real good game. A win would have been great, but we'll take this, for sure," Coach Fierro commented.
With the loss and the draw today, Kericia moves to 0 wins, 2 losses, and 1 tie overall and second in the Cana Division, in a good position to compete for the last spot to make the next round. Hockey Canada is currently undefeated, and has a comfortable 8 point lead in the standings, and Kalaalit Nunaat is winless with one draw and one loss. Kericia has an off day tomorrow, with play resuming on Friday with a crucial game for the 'Gulls against Hockey Canada for the third and final time.

Hockey Canada down Kericia. Best tournement yet from HC.

After numerous attempts to win a division in the past few Cherry Cups, Hockey Canada has been confirmed to have the largest lead in points in the tournement so far, leading Kericia and KN in the Canad Division by 8 points and 1st place in the West Region. A close 1-0 win gave Hockey Canada win number 3 and alot more breathing roon heading into their final Round Robin game against defending champs Kalaalit Nunaat.

Hockey Canada has never done this well in any of it's previous cups, seeming that the Hockey Canadian system of choosing a physical team is working. Winning and leaving teams bruised and battered for their next games is working as they beat Kericia twice. But you cannot just say Hockey Canada is doing good in the Canada Division.

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Hockey Canada 9 3 0 0 9:2 7
2. Kericia 1 0 1 1 5:8 -3
3. Kalaalit Nunaat 1 0 1 2 3:7 -4

Kericia have been playing well in their rookie Cherry Cup. Tied for 2nd place in points in the Cana Division with Kalaalit Nunaat, statistically they are in 2nd with a better goal differential. Kericia has been playing better and better, tying the defending champs 3-3 before losing a close 1-0 game to HC.

As for Kalaalit Nunaat, it has been a little disappointing for the CCX champs. After an early loss to Hockey Canada, they later tied Kericia 3-3 in a game where many Kalaalit Nunaat fans were sent back to their hotels with their heads hanging low.

In the 1-0 game today, Kyle Thomas scored with a slapshot on a breakaway set up by Bobby Clarke. However, the Kericia goalie was nearly injured when Ogie Ogilthorpe crashed the net bruising nearly everyone on the Kericia team including the goalie.

OOC: Brunettes like me have ALL the fun!

Rayzors Struck By Lightning
Can Druida do a Starblaydi-Cherry-Cup-5-Shocker?
From 'Scoop' Ragnarsson at the Jhanna Chronicle

As Starblaydia's stout (in more ways than one) players trugded off the ice to the remonstrations of their coach, the taunts of the two men and their Druidan dog plus the not-inconsiderable cheering of the Chicanadian natives, I was left with the feeling 'Are Druida going to win the whole thing?'

Now, if you can try to pick yourself up off the floor from laughing, why not let me elaborate? Oh, OK, laugh some more.

Finished? Great.

Now, Druida could win the Cherry Cup. Damnit, will you grow up and listen to me for a minute? If Starblaydia could win the 5th Cherry Cup in their debut tournament, perhaps their neighbours from across the mighty Lake Bekk could do the same thing. Remember when the Rayzors could barely skate in a straight line and that actually helped tham as it appeared they were doing incredible mazy paths through ever-more-confused defenders. The Lightning are doing the same thing.

Are they falling over, or are they so good on their feet they can do complicated falling-over-looking tricks while skating along? I don't know, do I look like I've ever played Ice Hockey before?

Anyway, lightning may just strike twice. Or, of course, Hockey Canada might win. Either way I won't be smiling.

Rayzors All the Way, Baby!

Gulls Decimate Tonissa!
But star enforcer Ashlee Langdone is on the run again after allegations of murder

STAR POINT, Chicanada -- Kevin St Jacques scored in the closing moments of Iansisle's second Cherry Cup XI game to hand the victory to the Gulls. Just what happened after that, however, is suspect.

The Star Point Police Department alleges that, after St Jacques' goal in the third period, the Gulls' star enforcer "leapt off the bench, swung his hockey stick over his head three times, buried it into the back of a Tonissan forward as part of a perverse victory dance, and laughed as the other man lay bleeding to death on the ice."

Langdone then allegedly ran for the exit, allegedly swinging his sharpened stick at eye level and allegedly wounding several nearby fans, before allegedly jumping into a waiting sports car and allegedly speeding away from the sports arena.

"The allegations that Ashlee Langdone stabbed another player to death with his hockey stick and rejoiced in the bright arterial blood spilling forth are completely overblown," said Head Coach Steve Martinson at a press conference after the game. "There is no evidence --"

"No evidence!?" cried a bereaved mother from the back of the room. "Ten thousand people - more, even! - saw him do it! My God, how can you just stand there and say..!" She then broke down into tears and was escorted from the room.

"I'll admit that the circumstances are a little fishy," replied Martinson, "but the burden of proof is with the prosecution. And frankly, I think I have a few reasonable doubts."

In the wake of tonight's glorious victory, the Gulls are allegedly preparing to take on the Cassowaries of Tanah Burung. The Department of Sports, Games, and Recreation has asked the Star-Tribune to remind fans that the Cassowaries game takes place on Mullet Night - fans are encouraged to bring their mullets, real or fake, down to the arena and the fan with the best one will receive a free case of Stout Lout ale! Fans from Inbreedia are strictly prohibited from entering.

Chicanada Sun

Murder On The Icefloor!
Chicanada Authorities Press Iansisle, Threaten Criminal Charges Against The Whole Lot Of Them

STAR POINT - Star Point Police Department, the Avi Cantonal Police Department and the Chicanadan High Ministry paid a visit to the lovely Southern city after Iansisle player Ashlee Langdone killed a Tonissan player after the Gull's 2-1 victory. And the High Ministry and Cherry Cup Directorate is not in the mood for the games Iansisle is playing.

Cherry Cup Director Jaquee Moriseete, who was forced to delay a trip to Livingston on assault charges for tackling a Druida fan and had to postpone her neverending quest for a Very Angry Rabbit, said the CCXI team was reviewing footage and was considering awarding the victory to Tonissa and has officially suspended Langdone for the remainder of the tournament pending the manslaughter investigation. She has also stated that the Gulls Coach Steve Martinson had to hand over Langdone or any information concerning his whereabouts to the ACPD or face suspension of his own. She is, in addition, threatening to remove the Iansisle squad from the tournament if they continue to not cooperate with the SPPD/ACPD.

Chicanadan President Janiene DuMaier and High Minister Michel Jacobi, who once played for Star Point in the CHL, has responded with stronger language. Pressed by Star Point authorities, Cherry Cup International and the Government of Tonissa, DuMaier said in a press conference at Mount Holeyoak Regional Medical Center that the entire Iansisle side, coaches and staff included, would have their visas pulled and the team would be expelled if they did not cooperate with authorities. She said she has been in touch with the Iansisle government, who send their condolences to the families of the unidentified player as well as Chicanadans injured by Langdone's actions.

High Minister Jacobi has said the actions are uncalled for in hockey and that all legal means will be taken to handle the situation. He asked for calm from the city as well as the other teams in Star Point and said there would be an increase of police at all remaining matches in Star Point. He echoed Jaquee's statement that Iansisle will be pulled from the tournament unless they work with authorities.

Bipsykins, the Page 4 Lady At Large, attended the game and said she didn't think Langdone killed the unidentified player with intent. "He was so happy he won, but he's also ugly as sin and the Tonissa player was so sad. So Langdone was celebrating and swinging his hockeystick with that razor on it and it slammed into the Toni...ssa player's back. It was all icky and stuff!"

Langdone, while possibly facing manslaughter charges, is officially charged with endangerment of civilians as well as resisting arrest. The Iansisle side is facing possible aiding a criminal and contempt charges of their own. No word what Iansisle government officials think, as we hear they're looking for their best mullet in honor of Mullet Day. Expect the Iansisle side to not have many fans during their match tommorow - if they even get to play.

The Tonissian Government See this as an accedent and will not presss charges. We Recomend that You stop the investigation.

Also Tonissian Government has decided to that april 1st will be {Unidentified Players Name} Day

INBREEDIA SMACKED DOWN BY ANGRY RABBITS

Can These Haybale Chucking Jethros Ever Win a Match?

Livingston, Chicanada - What has turned out to be the most competative division in the entire tournament, newcomers Inbreedia find themselves inching closer to the basement, and with no way to stop.

An upstart national team of rednecks, with family trees that resemble tumbleweeds and drinking habits that could best be described as 'fatal to any normal being', were confident that they could win against their opponents, whom were reported to have been less sober and much smaller. The Gray Ghosts came into the game with plenty of confidence, even whooping and yelling to disorient their hangover ridden foes.

The yelling, screaming and taunting only served to rally the Very Angry Rabbits to play their best game yet. VAR's offense was flawless against the slower Inbreedites, resulting in a 2-0 victory, leaving their confident opponents defeated and disheartened.

The highlight of the game was, once again, Jethro Sharpton of the IIHA's Atlanti Sky Chickens, who stopped 65 shots on net. Though his performance is at a high calibre, the rest of the Inbreedia National Team has a difficult time finding their place on the ice. Be that as it may, Inbreedia did manage to frustrate VAR's first line with aggressive play and incredible tenacity.

The Hockey News ranked Inbreedia as 23rd in the Cherry Cup rankings, which puts the Inbreedites in an incredibly difficult position. They face the 2nd, 12th and 20th ranked teams in the Cherry Cup. With Starblaydia being defeated by 20th ranked Druidia, Livingston looks to be a very tight, competative division, making Inbreedia a very unfortunate team.

However, there is hope for the Inbreedites. They all show incredible power and endurance, and for the most part this trap shunning team can be very entertaining to watch. However, their lack of experience, topped with the offense's lack of goal scoring and defense's inability to find their groove, has led to some close defeats.

But to keep both Starblaydia and VAR to only two goals is quite an accomplishment for a group of inbreed minors. If Inbreedia could find a way to win, they could be the wildcard of the Livingston division.

"Good evening, pathetic losers, you're watching KBC's Hockey Night In Kelssek. Welcome to the bit where we babble meaninglessly. The Blueleafs lost again."

"Yes, they lost, however it should be pointed out that Stumperia were unable to score on the empty net. Which was empty for over a minute, let me add. They truly are pathetic. It was all luck, I tell you."

"Oh come on, they were completely awful."

"Well, we left the net empty for a full minute and they couldn't score. What do you have to say to that?"

"But surely... okay, okay. Never mind."

"Damn straight, kid. Leaves turn red and fall in autumn. Leafs shrivel up and choke to death in May. Don't forget that."

"What does that have to do with anything?!"

"Nothing, I just heard that somewhere and thought it would be interesting. Anyway, I'm completely stumped about how Stumperia beat us. Get it? Stumped."

"I'm going to kill you."

Hockey Canadians physical style cause for concern for other teams.

Random pictues taken from across Hockey Canada have been posted.

This one was taken at the Dave Semenko school for slow kids but who skate fast:
http://www.hamiltonschools.org/~ulmerm/picture%20portfolio_files/image002.jpg

Cam Greer celebrates win over Kalaalit Nunaat:
http://www.philadelphia-hockey-tickets.com/images/flyers.jpg

"Hulk" Hugh Budziarek:
http://img.mtv3.fi/mn_kuvat/mtv3/urheilu/nhl/85168.jpg

Tallest player in tournement, Mike Dent (playing for Slovatsko Makhotnek):
http://www.hokej.cz/files/clanky/2004/ms/svk/chara.jpg

Bobby Clarke hitting John Bleaucao in HCHL action:
http://www.art-of-sport.de/images/K%F6lner%20Haie/773F8122.jpg

With these pictures showing up here, children have tried hitting as hard as the Hockey Canadians...

Hospital populations in Hockey Canada have tripled.

Wait, I thought the tallest player was that tarantula playing for Tanah Burung?

Anyways, scores will be up later...as soon as I can RP my way out of kicking Iansisle out of the tourney for having a very agressive player with a razon on his stick.

Wait, I thought the tallest player was that tarantula playing for Tanah Burung?

Anyways, scores will be up later...as soon as I can RP my way out of kicking Iansisle out of the tourney for having a very agressive player with a razon on his stick.

Just do so and when you do, give the teams they beat or tied the victory!

Chicanada Sun

Gulls Get Break...But Heat Still On
Manslaughter Dropped, DuMaire intensifies pressure on Martinson

STAR POINT - To the surprise of all Chicanadans, the Avi Cantonal Police Agency has decided not to charge Iansisle player Ashlee Langdone with manslaughter charges at the behest of the Tonissian government. But the Gull will still be without their star player for the remainder of the tourney.

Jaquee, back in Cana, said in a press conference after a half hour discussing which Very Angry Rabbit she found the most wonderful (and apparently she has a fancy for the Director Otto Mattic...Matic...eh, something like that) she said Langdone would be suspended indefinitly from Cherry Cup play while allowing Iasisle to compete today against Tanah Burung while the Directorate, High Ministry and Cherry Cup officials make up their mind about ousting the team from the tournament,.

Chicanada President Janiene DuMaier also spoke out in Star Point today that Langdone was still facing endangerment of civilians, assault and resisting arrest charges and that she would consider forcing the team to leave if Gulls Coach Steve Martinson did not show signs of cooperation. The international community is mixed on the fate of Iasisle, with Corneliu officials calling for the team to be ousted with Tonissa wants the team to continue competing.

In more gossipy news, fans have been placing their bets on a Hockey Canada title indeed. The Flyers, who have been the surprise of the Cana region, is now a 15-2 odds on favorite to win the title, followed by VAR at 10-1 and Starblaydia at 6-4. Chicanada is around 1-6 odds at this point.

Expect a full report from Page 4 Girl H'kol from Acadia later today!

I'm really don't understand betting. How is 15-2 better than 6-4?

Iansisle 2 Tonissa 1
Tanah Burung 0 Formal Dances 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Iansisle 4 1 1 0 4:3 1
2. Tanah Burung 4 1 1 0 1:0 1
3. Formal Dances 2 0 2 0 2:2 0
4. Tonissa 0 0 0 2 1:3 -2

WALTZ CITY PAPER--SPORTS SECTION

The Formal Dances hockey teams ties again. This time it is to Tanah Burung, last seasons Cherry Cup host.

"This was good. Granted it was a tie but it beats a loss any day. We are having lots of fun here."

"Two games down and we have tied both of them. Frankly, I am starting to feel the pressure.We still have four games to go but now, a small misstep could spell doom for our fledging chances of moving on."

With another game to go before completing the first half of the season, Formal Dances has only managed to score two goals Tonissa will be the next match. Though Formal Dances isn't expected to win, they do have a slightly better record.

"We'll do the best job we can. They maybe in the celler but we won't overlook them."

http://img72.exs.cx/img72/6189/cherrycupxilogoproposal1sf.gif
Cherry Cup XI - Matchday 3 Results

North Region

Livingston Division

Starblaydia 3 Very Angry Rabbits 3
Druida 0 Inbreedia 1

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Very Angry Rabbits 7 2 1 0 6:3 3
2. Starblaydia 4 1 1 1 6:5 1
3. Druida 3 1 0 2 2:3 -1
4. Inbreedia 3 1 0 2 1:4 -3

Acadia Division

Squornshelous 2 Oliverry 1
Squornshelous 1 Hisam 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Squornshelous 7 2 1 1 5:4 1
2. Oliverry 4 1 1 1 3:3 0
3. Hisam 2 0 2 1 3:4 -1

West Region

Paradiso Division

Corneliu 0 Liverpool England 1
Vilita 2 Gulf States 1

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Liverpool England 9 3 0 0 4:0 4
2. Vilita 4 1 1 1 3:3 0
3. Corneliu 2 0 2 1 3:4 -1
4. Gulf States 1 0 1 2 3:6 -3

Cana Division

Kalaalit Nunaat 2 Hockey Canada 1

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Hockey Canada 9 3 0 1 10:4 7
2. Kalaalit Nunaat 4 1 1 1 5:8 -3
3. Kericia 1 0 1 2 5:10 -5

East Region

Colombo Division

South Ossetia 1 Euroslavia 0
Harlesburg 1 Fmjphoneix 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Euroslavia 6 2 0 1 2:1 1
2. South Ossetia 5 1 2 0 2:1 1
3. Harlesburg 4 1 1 1 2:2 0
4. Fmjphoneix 1 0 1 2 0:2 -2

Eastentown Division

Robotopolis 0 Fimble loving peoples 0
Robotopolis 2 Lovisa 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Robotopolis 7 2 1 1 6:1 5
2. Lovisa 4 1 1 1 2:3 -1
3. Fimble loving peoples 2 0 2 1 1:5 -4

South Region

Finnen Division

Sjwitz 1 Kelssek 1
Chicanada 2 Stumperia 1

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Stumperia 6 2 0 1 4:3 1
2. Sjwitz 4 1 1 1 3:2 1
3. Chicanada 4 1 1 1 2:3 -1
4. Kelssek 2 0 2 1 2:3 -1

Star Point Division

Iansisle 2 Tanah Burung 3
Tonissa 3 Formal Dances 3
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Tanah Burung 7 2 1 0 4:2 2
2. Iansisle 4 1 1 1 6:6 0
3. Formal Dances 3 0 3 0 5:5 0
4. Tonissa 1 0 1 2 4:6 -2

---------------------------------

Notice attached to official Scores sheet - for all Coaches and Staff

1) Welcome to the halfway point of the First Round! Three more (give or take) to go!

I'm really don't understand betting. How is 15-2 better than 6-4?

Chicanadan betting is on crack?

Anyways, HC's 15-2 means you have to pay 15 Chicanadan Pence to win 2. On a 6-4, pay FCP 6, get FCP 4. 1-6? Pay one FCP, earn FCP 6.

Basically, the less money you pay and the better the return, the longer the shot. I think I may have this in reverse from RL odds but as has been proven, Chicanada is a weird land.

(that's one HUUGE sig, Corneliu! My brain hurts! ;) )

Martina's sheet still clean!

Tanah Burung 'keeper Martina stopped 23 shots in a scoreless tie with Formal Dances to record her second shutout. The rest of the Cassowaries failed to capitalize on their own chances, however. Next up is Iansisle, if they can find a wy to get back into thre tournament. Possibly they'll try to bribe the hosts by promising to pay their entire GNP to be allowed back in.

"A good effort," said Sister Hale Maria, the rookie coach. "Martina's a good girl, always says her prayers before bed. You can see how she is blessed with a strong performance."

Asked about the Chicanadian authorities' refusal to allow the construction of a prayer wheel outside the Inbreedia-Very Angry Rabbits clash, Sister Maria had this to say: "It is an infingement upon religious freedoms. You can see Satan's hand at work here. We shall have to pray all the harder, children. And Chicanada should be warned: Don't think we won't declare you an arch-nemesis."

But what about Very Angry Rabbits? Aren't they still the leading candidtes for arch-nemesis?

"Depends," the sister said. "They [i]have[i] been awfully naughty about calling us Cassaroles. Tell me, how many rabbits are there in their organization althogether? What? 38 of them? Oh, they've got a nerve."

Meanwhile, Sister Maria declared that the Cassowaries would certainly go for the win aginst Iansisle. And they woujdl eb aided by the power of a prayer wheel, even if was illegal. And yet no prayer wheel was visible as the tems arrived.

"Oh, it's there," she said. "It's just that it's also invisible."

[edit to add: MD3 posted while i was still writing MD 2 report. Will write that later, or maybe after Iansisle's.]

Kericia's Hopes of Advancing Take Hit with Kalaalit Nunaat Victory

KNS
Mar 31 05

In the only Cana Division game today, the Hockey Canada Flyers were knocked off of the ranks of the undefeated, falling 2-1. This was also bad news for Kericia, who drops from second and in, to third and out. This all leads to tomorrow's tilt between the Seagulls and Flyers, where Kericia will attempt to score their first victory and pull even with Kalaalit Nunaat, who has an break for Friday. The Seagulls are heavy underdogs, with HC a favorite to win it all, and a tie, let alone a win, would be an amazing feat for the 'Gulls. The last matchup between the two teams resulted in a 1-0 victory for Hockey Canada, and Kericia players and fans are hoping for another strong showing. One of the Seagulls' best players, Mike Friel, talked about the pressure on his team. "There's obviously some pressure to finish in the top two, but I think because we were such big underdogs no one expected us to do anything too big." And now for a new feature: I will predict the final score for the remaining Cana Division games.

Friday's Game(s):
Kericia- 1
Hockey Canada- 0
-I expect a close, physical game, that could go either way, but of course, I can't go against my Kericia Seagulls.

New strategy a success.

FLP's newest strategy to combat the robots of Robotopolis proved workable as the teams drew 0-0. The strategy, that of putting as many players in front of the goal at any one time as possible, stopped the robots from scoring against the Fimble lovers.

Attack after attack simply rebounded off of the human wall put in place, and an almost entirely new squad is needed for the next match as the skaters, without goalie padding, were hit by the puck repeatedly.

Hockey Canada loses controversial game to Kalaalit Nunaat.

Can it get any wierd than this Cherry Cup? Murders, Cinderellas, and apparant constipation (well, for some players on some teams). You'd think by now some teams would fear murderers, toilets and Squornshelous. Unfortunately, this fun was halted with Hockey Canada's first loss of the tournement to Kalaalit Nunaat. The game didn't end as expected for both teams.

Early in the game, a Kalaalit Nunaat forward broke free on a breakaway and missed the net. Dylan Charbonneau, who was playing in his first game of the tournement, misplayed the puck following it while the Kalaalit Nunaat player passed it to his winger for an easy tip-in. Hockey Canada responded with the usual goal by captain Kyle Thomas.

In the 3rd, at about 3 minutes left in the game, a Kalaalit Nunaat player tossed the puck from the corner towards the net. A driving Kalaalit Nunaat forward was stopped dead in his tracks by a big hit by Mike Dent. The problem was, as the player went down the puck went off his skate in the back of the net. The goal was controversial, and since you can't kick the puck in the net, but allowed.

With this, Hockey Canada is furious with the officiating. They'll take the loss to the defending champs, but will be out for blood next time they face Kalaalit Nunaat.

A Stunning Doubleheader

Squornshelous wins twice in one day to jump from last to first in the Acadia Division
The Ferrets surpassed even their own expectations in gameday 3, with defeats of both of their groupmates. After previous games ending in a loss to Oliverry and a tie with Hisam, the Ferrets were gearing up for a really spectacular pair of losses. However, they came out and couldn't seem to play down to their usual standard. They almost threw the first game away at the end, but the Oliverrian forward's shot went wide off the post in the final seconds. In the second game, a record 6 breakaways were made by Hisam, but they couldn't come through on any of them.

Final Scores:
Squornshelous 2-1 Oliverry
Squornshelous 1-0 Hisam


Acadia Division Standings:

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Squornshelous 7 2 1 1 5:4 1
2. Oliverry 4 1 1 1 3:3 0
3. Hisam 2 0 2 1 3:4 -1

OOC: I created a group for people to use. It may be something that could really help people for Cherry Cup!

http://groups.msn.com/CherryCupAction

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v428/numbersaregood/nsntonight.jpg

"Welcome back to NSN Tonight...and so team Kelssek have secured a draw against Sjwitz, but they're bottom of the pack. How is this possible?"

"Well, there are many things to blame, and in particular you have to take into account the fact that the puck is bigger than what the Kelssek players are used to, and also glows red, they're used to black pucks, so that's a visual distraction for the players."

"Uh, John, that's just the thing they do on the satellite feed we get from Inbreedia because a lot of their population are very retarded and can't follow the puck without help."

"Why are we getting a satellite feed from Inbreedia of all places?"

"Because their sales guy is a retard and was willing to accept a magic 8-ball I found in my attic as payment."

"I see."

"He was very happy because when he asked it if he would finally grow opposable thumbs, it said 'signs point to yes'. Anyway, what else can you blame for the team's woeful performance?"

"Well, we suck and we as a nation are pathetic people."

"...you didn't have to be so blunt."

EIGHTEEN DEAD, ONE HUNDRED INJURED

Night of Rioting in Richmound After Amazing Upset Against Druidia

Richmound, Virginny - Winning a game of international hockey has been a trying task for the Inbreedia National Hockey Team, but now with a 1-0 win against 12th ranked Druidia has led the team, and the entire nation, in high spirits.

Almost too high of spirits, to be precise. In the capitol, a night of light celebration left 18 dead and 700 injured, as well as millions of dollars of property damage, not including the statue of Stonewall B. Lee, whom was decapitated in the orgy of sports and booze related violence. This has left the more sane half of the population afraid to go outside, even during daylight, considering the memory of the March 2004 riots over the Bignose/Corpsedigger Monster Truck Drags Finals.

In Livingston, where the Grey Ghosts are playing the first round of the tournament, similar celebrations also started with the team. Rebel yelling outside the rink after their victory, the team proceeded to drink alcohol. Then they tipped over what appeared to be a corn grinding wheel, and proceeded to set it on fire. They were last seen roasting possum over the glowing coals of the mill's remains while engaging in banjo duels.

The win came at an opportune time, when Inbreedia's National Team's morale was at an all time low. Despite the victory, the game was hard fought, with Druidia keeping on the defensive the entire time, and invoking a 'trap' defense. Enraging both fans and players alike, Druidia kept to the trap, which flustered the Inbreedite offense for most of the game. The game came at a fevered pitch in the third period, where the Inbreedite offense managed to overwhelm Druidia's defense. Defenseman Billy Bob Lickspittle of the Ft.Worthy Bloodhounds sneaked the puck into Druidia's net during a five on three powerplay.

The play would have been a five on two, if Inbreedite power forward Porkie Robinson was caught slashing.

Once again, Goalie Jethro Sharpton put on a solid performance, stopping 32 shots on goal in his first international hockey shutout. The defense played exceptionally well, and in a more co-ordinated fashion than before. The offense had a more difficult time busting through Druidia's defense, and missed a few key scoring opportunities. Penalties also plagued Inbreedia's offense, an issue the coach will have to clear up soon in their rematch against second seed Starblaydia.

Stumpy Sports

Over the days, citizens all over Stumperia are actually realising they are in the Cherry Cup.

With 2 wins and 1 loss, 1st in the Finnen Division, Stumperia are on form! Even though they just lost..

Stumperia 1-0 Sjwitz
Stumperia 2-1 Kelssek
Stumperia 1-2 Chicanada

We asked some Stumps on the high street what they thought about the Stumperia Stumperphants.

"We're gonna win baby! All the way!" - Fan Stump
"Who?" - Caveman Stump
"I feel that we have to play very offencive if we're going to get anywhere in this tournament, our goal is goals." - Allie Stump, Stumperia Stumperphants manager.
"So our national animal plays sports?" - Bimbo Stump

From the results of all the people we asked on that day, it shows that on a twelth of the nation know Stumperia are in the Cherry Cup, and only a seventh knew Stumperia had a Hockey league.

Where are the sports lovers in our nation?! We need you!

On other news, Stumperia's National Ice Hockey Stadium caretaker Dodgy Stump was arrested yesterday for having containers disguised as pucks full of an illegal drug. These were found after players who were not chosen for the national team were practising and found the puck, and started to play a game with it, the puck came to pieces after 2 hits, and thats when the drug came sliding across the players feet. What a w****r.

Good night!

Iansisle Gulls head coach Steve Martinson confirmed today in a public apperance that he was glad to do all he can to help Chicanada authoraties in the arrest of "suspects in the unfortunate events of the other day."

"However," he noted, "I'm afraid that the whereabouts of no one on your suspect list - including this one fellow, Langdone - is known to me or any of my players. I can't really be of any help."

Meanwhile, the Gulls are allegedly missing the presence of Ashlee Langdone on the ice. With no one to crack Cassowary skull, Tanah Burung skated all over Iansisle, leaving the Gulls just one point over the famous dancers of Famous Drawers. Or the famous drawers of Famous Dancers, even. However, the Gulls remain confident of their victory in this Cherry Cup.

"I'm pretty sure we've been ordained by God to emerge victorious in this Cherry Cup," said Martinson. "I don't care if we lose to one team run by a nun, or even six of them - nothing can shake my faith."

http://img72.exs.cx/img72/6189/cherrycupxilogoproposal1sf.gif
Cherry Cup XI - Matchday 4 Results

North Region

Livingston Division

Inbreedia 1 Starblaydia 1
Druida 1 Very Angry Rabbits 0
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Very Angry Rabbits 7 2 1 1 6:4 2
2. Druida 6 2 0 2 3:3 0
3. Starblaydia 5 1 2 1 7:6 1
4. Inbreedia 4 1 1 2 2:5 -3

Notes: VAR can qualify with a win and Starblaydia loss or tie. Druida can qualify with a win and a Starblaydia loss and an Inbreedia loss.

Acadia Division

Hisam 0 Oliverry 2

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Oliverry 7 2 1 1 5:3 2
2. Squornshelous 7 2 1 1 5:4 1
3. Hisam 2 0 2 2 3:6 -2

Note: Oliverrry and Squornshelous can qualify tommorow with a win or a tie over Hisam

West Region

Paradiso Division

Gulf States 1 Corneliu 0
Vilita 1 Liverpool England 0
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Liverpool England 9 3 0 1 4:1 3 Q
2. Vilita 7 2 1 1 4:3 1
3. Gulf States 4 1 1 2 4:6 -2
4. Corneliu 2 0 2 2 3:5 -2

Notes: Liverpool England has officially qualified. Vilita can qualify with a win and a GS loss or tie.

Cana Division

Kericia 1 Hockey Canada 2

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Hockey Canada 12 4 0 1 12:5 8 Q
2. Kalaalit Nunaat 4 1 1 1 5:8 -5
3. Kericia 1 0 1 3 6:10 -4

Notes: HC has qualified. Kalaalit Nunaat can qualify with a win over Kericia.

East Region

Colombo Division

Fmjphoneix 1 South Ossetia 2
Harlesburg 0 Euroslavia 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. South Ossetia 8 2 2 0 4:2 2
2. Euroslavia 7 2 1 1 2:1 1
3. Harlesburg 5 1 2 1 2:2 0
E Fmjphoneix 1 0 1 3 1:4 -3

Notes: Fmjphoenix has been eliminated. SO can qualify with a tie and a Harlesburg loss. Euroslavia can qualify with a win and a Harelsburg loss.

Eastentown Division

Lovisa 0 Fimble loving peoples 2

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Robotopolis 7 2 1 1 6:1 5
2. Fimble loving peoples 5 1 2 1 3:5 -2
3. Lovisa 4 1 1 2 2:5 -3

Notes: Robotopolis and FLP can qualify with a win over Lovisa.

South Region

Finnen Division

Stumperia 0 Sjwitz 1
Chicanada 1 Kelssek 1

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Sjwitz 7 2 1 1 4:2 2
2. Stumperia 6 2 0 2 4:4 0
3. Chicanada 5 1 2 1 3:4 -1
4. Kelssek 3 0 3 1 3:4 -1

Notes: Sjwitz can qualify with a win over Chicanada. Stumperia can qualify with a win over Kelssek and a Chicanada loss.

Star Point Division

Formal Dances 3 Iansisle 2
Tonissa 0 Tanah Burung 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Tanah Burung 8 2 1 0 4:2 2
2. Formal Dances 6 1 3 0 8:7 1
3. Iansisle 4 1 1 2 8:9 -1
4. Tonissa 2 0 2 2 4:6 -2

Notes: TB can qualify with a win and an Iansisle loss. FD can qualify with a win and an Iansisle loss.
---------------------------------

Notice attached to official Scores sheet - for all Coaches and Staff

Congrats to LE and HC for being the first teams to qualify to the Knockout Second Round. Congrats of sorts to Fmjphoenix for being the first teams to qualify for the Second Chance Round.

Notes are for the top two in each region so far.

CORNELIU SPORTS PAGE
Corneliu Eliminated?

The Corneliu Penquins have been officially eliminated?

"I'm not sure how we are. We have 2 games left and are 5 points out of 2nd place. Granted the odds of gaining all 6 points and move there is slim but still possible."

"And here I thought those that didn't finish in the top tier still have a shot at making the knockout round."

The Corneliuan Team is very disappointed with how this cup was played but they will prepare for the 2nd round of this tournament.

"We may not have won our division but by the Lord on high we will still prove that we are a team to be reckened with."

Hockey Canada qualify, win over Kalaalit Nunaat gives them top spot overall going into next round.

Hockey Canada has a song ripped off from Nancy Sinatra (Minor changes):

You keep saying you've got something for us.
something you call injuries, but confess.
You've been messin' with who shouldn't have been a messin'
and now you'd better give us all your best.


These skates are made for skaing, and that's just what they'll do
one of these days these skates are gonna skate all over you.


You keep losin', when you oughta be losin'
and you keep losin' when you oughta not bet.
You keep samin' when you oughta be changin'.
Now what's right is right, but you ain't been right yet.


These skates are made for skating, and that's just what they'll do
one of these days these skates are gonna skate all over you.


You keep playin' where you shouldn't be playin
and you keep thinkin' that you´ll never get burnt.
Ha! I just found me a brand new box of explosives. Yeah!
and what you know you ain't HAD time to learn.


These skates are made for skating, and that's just what they'll do
one of these days these skates are gonna skate all over you.


Are you ready Flyers? Start kickin' ass!


Hockey Canada expects it to replace our national anthem and be a top-seller.

Onto better news:
Hockey Canada defeated Kericia 2-1 today, with goals by Kyle Thomas and Mike Dent. It was a good game, but Kericia came just short of the mark in the dying seconds. Now qualified, they hope to win over Kalaalit Nunaat to seal 1st place in the league and maybe get a Cherry Cup Championchip.

OOC: took me like forever to write that!

Stumpy Sports

Stumperia 0-1 Sjwitz

Well, the Stumperphants lose today to a team they have beaten once before in this round, what does the manager, Allie Stump, have to say?

"Well, of course it was a shame to lose, but they are now top of the group, but we could have been there. We played well, but they played just a bit better, and scored a rather fluke but good goal. Now we actually want Sjwitz to beat Chicanada and a win for us against Kelssek for us to qualify."

Even if Stumperia do not win their next game, they do still go through into a second-chance tournament.

Leader of Stumperia, Glacier Stump, gave us his comments on Stumperias' national ice hockey team.

"Our success will bring Stumperia on to the World map and so muh glory! Muahaha.......go team..."

...That is all from the Stumpy Sports, good night!

Kericia; My Predictions Fall Short

KNS
Apr 1 05

A crushing 2-1 loss to Hockey Canada sent the Seagulls to the brink of elimination today, making the game tomorrow against Kalaalit Nunaat simply a must-win. If Kericia loses, Kalaalit Nunaat clinches a berth, and its off to the second chance round for the rookie 'Gulls. If they do score a win, they require another win or a tie Sunday against KN to even have a chance to advance to the knockout stage. Mike Friel scored the lone goal for Kericia today. It was definitely painful for Kericia fans to watch Mike and his teammates hustle to attempt to score a tying goal in the final ticks of the clock to no avail. Barring a couple of astonishing upsets, it looks as though Kericia is heading to the second chance round, where the team will seek their first win. Here's my picks for the weekend:

Kericia- 1
KN- 3

Hockey Canada- 3
KN- 2

Kericia- 1
KN- 1

A DAVID AND GOLIATH REBORN MATCH

Record Attendance as Inbreedia and Starblaydia Fight to a Tie

Livingston, Chicanada - In a true David and Goliath match, but with the Starblaydia dwarves in the role as the biblical giant, the Inbreedia National Team fought tooth and nail for a 1-1 tie, shocking fans and hocky analysts alike with their near flawless play.

Starblaydia, fresh off a tie with division rivals VAR, was in a confident mood considering the results of their first match with Inbreedia; a 2-0 trouncing on the tournament's first day. But Inbreedia learned well from the match, and meet each Starblaydia advance with equal force.

The first period threatened to be a repeat of the last game, when Thrain Naugrim scored against backup goaltender Robbie Copperbottom, and celebrated five minutes later by unceremoniously dumping Porkie Robinson into the Starblaydian player's bench. When asked by the local media, Porkie Robinson said, "I's heet him durin' the first game, thru plexiglass. He's done heet me into that there stand. We's even. Hurt like a sonofab*tch too."

Late in the second period, an Inbreedia power play resulted in a goal by 18 year old defenseman Torque Wilson, "It wus aaawesome." commented Wilson, the youngest player on the national team. "I dun felt like i's scored that there goal for the ehntire nation! YEEHAW!"

The third period, and the three overtime periods after that, showed no other results. Finally, the referees had to quit the game, lest they had to deal with the boiling tempers of the opposing teams. However, the came was pure, classic, entertaining hockey as both teams adopted a more offensive stance. The game itself was very fast and physical, and boasted the best attendance record yet in the division, and rivals that of the match between Kalaalit Nunaat and Hockey Canada. Fans were excited to see second seed Starblaydia and the animated upstarts of the Inbreedite team, and they weren't disappointed.

But the tie for Starblaydia couldn't come at a worse time. The team has only one victory under their belt, and they have to face a revitalized Druidia squad. Inbreedia, resigned to the second chance round, will face VAR, who's play has been very solid. But as far as second chance round teams go, Inbreedia looks to be the strongest of the basement dwellers.

(OOC)Argh its Started!!!
(IC)Harlesburg team

GOALIES
Jorge Oliverier
Bruce Tucker
John LeBartard

DEFENCEMEN
Cheif Hutch
Olaf Opeen
Jack Shandale
Bobert Toby
Handel Lefrankie(A)
Cape Haven
Daniel Postorius

FORWARDS
Noelene Nesville (C)
Pierre St Laurent
Pierre Mur-St-Nome
Phillip Norris
Mike Tomorillo
Micheal Herbert(A)
Jason Patrick
Horris Marksman
Kolge Kluger
Denis Patrick-Bormon-Smith
Tombert Novadaye
Louis Chavadale
Benidict Christoph

Starting Lineup for game 5

FORWARD LINES
Nesville-St Laurent-Christoph
Chavadale-Kluger-Marksman
Herbert-Norris-Patrick-Bormon-Smith
Novadaye-Chavadale-Patrick

DEFENSIVE PAIRS
Lefrankie-Postorius
Shandale-Toby
Opeen-Haven

GOALIES
Starting: Jorge Oliverier
Backup: Bruce Tucker

Star Point Division

Formal Dances 3 Iansisle 2
Tonissa 0 Tanah Burung 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Tanah Burung 8 2 1 0 4:2 2
2. Formal Dances 6 1 3 0 8:7 1
3. Iansisle 4 1 1 2 8:9 -1
4. Tonissa 2 0 2 2 4:6 -2

Notes: TB can qualify with a win and an Iansisle loss. FD can qualify with a win and an Iansisle loss.

OOC: Where did my three losses come from? Isn't that supposed to be 3 draws or something?

WALTZ CITY PAPER--SPORTS PAGE

Formal Dances is a short step away from making it into the knockout phase of the tournament. All they have to do is win their next game and hope that Iansisle loses their next match.

"We are quite excited about our upcoming match. It'll help solidify us into the knockout phase."

"This is quite exciting for us! We want to keep this going and have a good ride through the playoffs."

OOC: Where did my three losses come from? Isn't that supposed to be 3 draws or something?

Um...your team is 1-3-0: 1 win, 3 draws (the second number) and no losses. Which equals six points :p

Um...your team is 1-3-0: 1 win, 3 draws (the second number) and no losses. Which equals six points :p

OOC: Bah! I'm tired. That is what I get for posting after coming home from a date.

FLP 2 - 0 Lovisa.

With a completely changed team to the one which held Robotopolis in a complete lockdown, and were ravaged by shot after shot as the players crowded the goalmouth, FLP moved back to an attacking style of play to face Lovisa.

Despite attacking continually the Lovisan (sp?) defence held throughout the entire first period. But not long into the second a goal was scored, quickly followed by another. The team quickly resorted to an abstract style of play which could only be summed up by the word 'prancing'.

Rumour has it that the team were informed olympic judges for figure skating were present and scouting for the Fimble loving team.

Despite this Lovisa just seemed unable to score, and will be disappointed with the forwards.

Druida fan #2: "Did that just happen?"

Druida fan #1: "Did what?"

Fan #2: "That game! Beating the Arctic Hares! Hell, this whole thing! It's definately getting weirder by the day."

Fan #1: "I wouldn't say that. OK, so I might not have recovered mentally from... well, that incident, but look at the division. We're second, above Starblaydia! It mightn't last, but hey, lets enjoy it!"

Fan #2: "You know, I'm still mentally scarred too."

Fan #1: "But nothing's happened to you? What's your problem?"

Fan #2: "Well, the other day... when you went to see that counsellor... we played Inbreedia that night. And I never want to see such a thing again! It was awful."

Fan #1: "Ah, now, come on! We only lost 1-0!"

Fan #2: "No, not the game, the people. Still, I guess the family... I mean, people back home actually enjoyed revelling in the victory. I'd be surprised if anyone else in Druida actually knew that all this was going on!"

Fan #1: "Man, they're missing out! So... er... d'you think we should do something to spread the word to get back?"

Fan #2: "Nah. I think we should go and get drunk in celebration at our win."

Fan #1: "That's a damn good plan! Woohoo!!!"

"So...er...um..."

"My name is Herman, sir."

"Ah yes! So Herman, how are we doing in the hockey thing?"

"Well..."

"No, wait! I've got an idea! I'll use this crystal ball that I've just bought to tell me instead."

"You're getting a crystal ball to do my job?"

"Yes...and?"

"Nothing, sir."

"Good. Now, let me see...according to the ball, we've beaten Starblaydia, Vilita and Liverpool England, all by a scoreline of 5-0, and we're through to the next round. Is that right?"

"No."

"Is any of it right?"

"No."

"Oh."

"We were drawn with Fmjphoenix, Harlesburg and Euroslavia, remember?"

"Vaguely."

"We drew with Fmjphoenix and Harlesburg - "

"That's kind of crap, isn't it?"

"Well...we're not exactly The Mighty Ducks, are we?"

"Do they actually exist, or are they just an example of cheap film creativity?"

"I honestly couldn't tell you."

"And weren't they supposed to be crap as well?"

"I've never seen the film, so once again, I couldn't tell you."

"Can you tell me anything?"

"I can tell you about the Cherry Cup."

"Ooh, this'll be good. Carry on."

"Right, so we drew our first two games, then we beat Euroslavia, and now we've just beaten Fmjphoenix."

"Didn't we already play them?"

"We play every team twice."

"Twice!!! That's a bit crap, isn't it?"

"Not really."

"Isn't it!?!"

"...*sigh*...yes, it's quite crap."

"Excellent. So where are we in this group."

"Currently first."

"Good. We're going to stay there aren't we?"

"Well...there's always a possibility - "

"Aren't we!?!"

"...*sigh*...yes, we're going to stay there."

"Good. Now, don't you think Michael Winner is a bit of a pervert?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, whenever he has an opportunity to dress up as a woman, he takes it. Look!"

*turns up television. It's an Esure commercial."

Calm down, dear. It's only a commercial.

"He's wearing a skirt!"

"I can see, sir. It's rather fetching, actually..."

"Is it possible that you could hire someone to take him out?"

"You want me to hire someone to take out Michael Winner?"

"Sure, why not?"

"I'm sure the list of reasons 'why not' could fill this entire department..."

"And how about the list of reason's to do so?"

"Probably the head of a pin."

"That's good enough for me! Do it."

"Wouldn't you rather go and shoot some rare birds?"

"Hmmm...I suppose that would be a bit more fun...okay, let's go!"

"But sir, we're at work - "

"Let's go!!!"

*Herman and The Boss leave to shoot rare birds*

http://img72.exs.cx/img72/6189/cherrycupxilogoproposal1sf.gif
Cherry Cup XI - Matchday 5 Results

North Region

Livingston Division

Druida 1 Starblaydia 3
Inbreedia 0 Very Angry Rabbits 1

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Very Angry Rabbits 10 3 1 1 7:4 3 Q
2. Starblaydia 8 2 2 1 10:7 3
3. Druida 6 2 0 3 4:6 -2
E Inbreedia 4 1 1 3 2:6 -4

Notes: VAR has qualified. Starblaydia can qualify with a win or tie and a Druida loss or tie. Druida can qualify with a win and a Starblaydia loss. Inbreedia has been eliminated and will be in the Second Chance Rounds.

Acadia Division

Hisam 1 Squornshelous 1
Oliverry 2 Hisam 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Oliverry 10 3 1 1 7:3 4 Q
2. Squornshelous 8 2 2 1 6:5 1 Q
E Hisam 3 0 3 3 4:9 -5

Note: Oliverrry and Squornshelous have qualified. Hisam will be in the SCR.

West Region

Paradiso Division

Vilita 2 Corneliu 1
Gulf States 1 Liverpool England 1

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Liverpool England 10 3 1 1 5:2 3 Q
2. Vilita 10 3 1 1 6:4 2 Q
E Gulf States 5 1 2 2 5:7 -2
E Corneliu 2 0 2 3 4:7 -3

Notes: LE and Vilita have qualified. The Gulf States and Corneliu have been eliminated. (Sorry about that weirdness yesterday Corneliu)

Cana Division

Kericia 1 Kalaalit Nunaat 1

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Hockey Canada 12 4 0 1 12:5 8 Q
2. Kalaalit Nunaat 5 1 2 1 6:9 -3
3. Kericia 2 0 2 3 7:11 -4

Notes: HC has qualified. KN can qualify with a win over HC or Kerica. Kerica can qualify with a win over KN and a KN loss to HC (provided Goal Diff if right)

East Region

Colombo Division

Harlesburg 1 South Ossetia 1
Fmjphoneix 2 Euroslavia 2

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. South Ossetia 9 2 3 0 5:3 2
2. Euroslavia 8 2 2 1 4:3 1
3. Harlesburg 6 1 3 1 3:3 0
E Fmjphoneix 2 0 2 3 3:6 -3

Notes: South Ossetia can qualify with a win or a tie OR a Harlesburg loss. Euroslavia can qualify with a win OR tie AND a Harlesburg loss, tie or win on Goal Differential OR with a loss and a Harlesburg loss. Harlesburg can qualify with a win AND a Euroslavia loss or tie or a South Osettia loss.

Eastentown Division

Lovisa 0 Robotopolis 2
Fimble loving peoples 1 Lovisa 0
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Robotopolis 10 3 1 1 8:1 7 Q
2. Fimble loving peoples 8 2 2 1 4:5 -1 Q
E Lovisa 4 1 1 4 2:8 -6

Notes: Robotopolis and FLP have qualified.

South Region

Finnen Division

Chicanada 0 Sjwitz 1
Stumperia 0 Kelssek 1

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Sjwitz 10 3 1 1 5:2 3 Q
2. Stumperia 6 2 0 3 4:5 -1
3. Kelssek 6 1 3 1 4:4 0
4. Chicanada 5 1 2 2 3:5 -2

Notes: Stumperia can qualify with a win or tie over Chicanada AND Kelssek loss with a bigger GD. Kelssek can qualify with a win or tie over Sjwitz AND a Stumperia loss. Chicanada can qualify with a win and a Kelssek loss or tie.

Star Point Division

Tonissa 2 Iansisle 1
Formal Dances 1 Tanah Burung 3

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Tanah Burung 11 3 1 0 7:3 4 Q
2. Formal Dances 6 1 3 1 9:10 -1
3. Tonissa 5 1 2 2 6:7 -1
4. Iansisle 4 1 1 3 8:11 -3

Notes: TB has qualified. FD can qualify with a win or tie to Tonissa and a Iansisle loss. Tonissa can qualify with a win and a Iansisle loss. Iansisle can qualify with a win and a FD and Tonissa tie.

---------------------------------

Notice attached to official Scores sheet - for all Coaches and Staff

Here's the schedule for Week 2:

Tommorow: Matchday 6
Monday: 29th Or In Match, Knockout Second Round
Tuesday - Friday: Rest of the Second Chance Rounds and Knockout Rounds
Saturday: all the place games

Kericia Scores Emotional Draw with Kalaalit Nunaat, Stay In Contention Despite Big Zero In Win Column

KNS
Apr 2 05

Coming into Saturday's game, all Kericia had to do was tie or get a win to stay alive. Oh wait, I forgot to mention the 23rd ranked Seagulls had to do that against the defending champs, Kalaalit Nunaat. The 'Gulls came close to recording an UNBELIEVIBLE upset, but just came up short. Ryan Pratt scored the only goal for Kericia. Kericia now has zero wins, zero losses, and two ties against KN. All the 'Gulls can do now is try and win their final match, against Kalaalit Nunaat again. If they do win, Kericia fans will be cheering on Hockey Canada against KN, because if the Iceberg do as much as tie HC, Kericia's done. This is all resting on the hope that Kericia has a better goal differential than KN, which is the tiebreaker should the previous scenario actually occur. All of this is very unlikely, but the Kerician players have had a great experience contending for their first Cherry Cup here in Chicanada. Down 1-0 early in the third period, Ryan Pratt scored a powerplay goal and pumped his fist as he fell to his knees, and the players stormed the ice following the stunning game's finish, in which goalie Frank Soranno stopped a barrage of Kalaalit Nunaat shots on goal to seal the tie. Later on, Coach Mark Fierro announced that three coaches that helped train Kericia for the Cherry Cup would arrive tomorrow morning in Chicanada. They assisted the team's practices in Kericia, but were not scheduled to come to Chicanada for the games. Dave Lloyd, Pete Sears and Dave Johnson will be at practice tomorrow to help prepare Kericia players for their game versus KN.

Star Point Division

Tonissa 2 Iansisle 1
Formal Dances 1 Tanah Burung 3

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Tanah Burung 11 3 1 0 7:3 4 Q
2. Formal Dances 6 1 3 1 9:10 -1
3. Tonissa 5 1 2 2 6:7 -1
4. Iansisle 4 1 1 3 8:11 -3

Notes: TB has qualified. FD can qualify with a win or tie to Tonissa and a Iansisle loss. Tonissa can qualify with a win and a Iansisle loss. Iansisle can qualify with a win and a FD and Tonissa tie.

OOC: Math isn't adding up. If I tie I get a total of seven points. I beat Iansisle regardless due to head to head matchups. So I should qualify with a win or tie. I don't need a loss by Iansisle to qualify.

IC: WALTZ CITY PAPER--SPORTS SECTION

Formal Dances drops its first game 3-1! The loss come to Tanah Burung. The game was notted at one each half way through the second when Tanah took the lead for good. In the third, they added an empty netter to seal it.

"This was a heartbreaker for us. I know we have a chance! All we have to do is beat our next opponet and that's it. We win, we're in."

"This is very exciting. We are still close to qualifing for the next phase of this tournament. I believe we can do it and we will do it."

Formal Dances is playing its last game against Tonissa.

In another land, in another time, in another place, they celebrated their small victory through the magic of hops and malt. They raised their glasses in joy, and marveled at the wonder of the unique juxtaposition of luck, skill, happenstance, and fortuosity the universe had seen fit to present to them as a gift. At first a slight buzz, followed by a feeling that all was right with the world. Inhibitions forgotten, little by little total inebriation crept upon them. They danced and sang, they joked among themselves, they cried out with joy. When at last the need for sleep overcame them, they lay themselves down with a smile and a sigh, and slept peacefully - to awaken with a hangover the size of Montana.

Here, in this time, in this place, in the land of Chicanada, again they have a victory to celebrate. With one game left yet to play in the opening stage of Cherry Cup XI, they have qualified to move on! A celebration of a magnitude never befpre seen by Very Angry Rabbbits (or, for that matter, rabbits of any kind) was in order! Eat, Drink, and Be Merry, for...hmmm...tomorrow...hmmm...

This gave them pause - after all, why would they want to bring on another hangover the size of Montana? Or, heaven forbid, larger? Celebrating is one thing, but let's talk about a throbbing head that weighs 85 pounds, and hearing so accute that a flea hopping on a dog two miles away sounds like heavy artillery. Let's talk about the sledge hammer blow of sunlight on ones retina the morning after. Let's talk about the inability to walk, let alone walk a straight line. And a feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes you understand exactly why it's called the pit of your stomach. This gave them pause.

For about 10 seconds.

In the end they threw caution to the wind, brought out the kegs, and after all car keys were collected and locked in Otto Matic's safe, they partied all night long.

And when the sun came up...ouch!

---------------------------------------
ooc: sorry for the shortage of RP. real life gets in the way sometimes.

OOC: Math isn't adding up. If I tie I get a total of seven points. I beat Iansisle regardless due to head to head matchups. So I should qualify with a win or tie. I don't need a loss by Iansisle to qualify.

((So far as I know, Chicanada is using GD to decide ties in points, as is traditional in the Cherry Cup, not head-to-head. If we score three goals, beat Tanah Burung by at least two goals and FD and Tonissia tie, we'd be in. Of course, given the way the Cassowaries have been playing lately, I don't know how possible that is. ;)

To Chicanada: sorry for my lack of participation; it's been a busy week. Oh, and please don't take offense if my team starts slamming on Chicanada - I, the person behind the computer, think you've done a superb job of running things and couldn't care less if I don't qualify! However, my team tends towards arrogant and belligerent and will be looking for any way to shift the blame for my bad luck from themselves. :)))

"It's all because they banned Ashlee," groused Mark Woolf.

"I still can't believe we lost to Tonissia!" exclaimed Steve Martinson. "NOBODY loses to Tonissia!"

"Except us," chimed in Jamie Black helpfully.

"NOBODY!" repeated Martinson. "I mean, we're the best dang team in the Cherry Cup --"

"Huzzah!" shouted Black.

"-- and we lost to a bunch of losers!"

"It couldn't be helped," said Woolf. "The damn zebras were clearly against us. Did you see that call they made in the third period, just before Tonissia scored that goal?"

"OBVIOUSLY that wasn't tripping - that guy was just feigning being injured, the great ham!"

"We're just the victims in all this," said Woolf.

"Like killing that one Tonissian player?" asked someone.

"Um, yeah. We were the victims in that too. OBVIOUSLY."

((So far as I know, Chicanada is using GD to decide ties in points, as is traditional in the Cherry Cup, not head-to-head. If we score three goals, beat Tanah Burung by at least two goals and FD and Tonissia tie, we'd be in. Of course, given the way the Cassowaries have been playing lately, I don't know how possible that is. ;)

It still doesn't mater. I win I'm in. I don't need a loss by you. 2) I tie I still don't need a loss by you to qualify. Besides that, going by goal differential is only used in soccer.

Is there a tie breaking procedure that is set in stone somewhere that no one knows about?

Harlesburg look to next round.
The Harlesburg Blades after mixed results are all but into the next round.
After pushing two of the harder teams South Osetia and Euroslavia in each game for respectable results they are looking forward to their next match against Fmjpheonix an opponent they have beaten previously 1-0.

If Harlesburg wins this match they are assured a instant place in the next round as is explained by Harlesburg Blades National Team Coach Barry Melrose (http://www.thgworldwide.com/doc/celebpics/barrymelrose.jpg).
"Of course we want to avoid the reperchage all it does is increase the risk our players have of getting injured.
We dont want that nor need it im confident we can get into the next round directly and we will use the break to work on skills more than contact work there is no sense in hurting yourself in training AYE!"


Harlesburg Results
Euroslavia 1 Harlesburg 0
South Ossetia 1 Harlesburg 1
Harlesburg 1 Fmjphoneix 0
Harlesburg 0 Euroslavia 0
Harlesburg 1 South Ossetia 1

After these results Harlesburg's situation looks comfortable and has resulted in their equation to the next round lookin like this;

South Ossetia can qualify with a win or a tie OR a Harlesburg loss. Euroslavia can qualify with a win OR tie AND a Harlesburg loss, tie or win on Goal Differential OR with a loss and a Harlesburg loss. Harlesburg can qualify with a win AND a Euroslavia loss or tie or a South Osettia loss.

This pretty much leaves Harlesburg with the task of winning tonights game to go thru to the next round.


Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. South Ossetia 9 2 3 0 5:3 2
2. Euroslavia 8 2 2 1 4:3 1
3. Harlesburg 6 1 3 1 3:3 0
4. Fmjphoneix 2 0 2 3 3:6 -3

But of course anything could happen out there on the ice in such a low scoring competitive pool a slight slip up could be the doom off any team.
Fmjphoenix's position is not too disimilar than Harlesburg's and with an upset could spoil Harlesburg's party.

It still doesn't mater. I win I'm in. I don't need a loss by you. 2) I tie I still don't need a loss by you to qualify. Besides that, going by goal differential is only used in soccer.

Is there a tie breaking procedure that is set in stone somewhere that no one knows about?

Goal Diff is the traditonal tiebreaker for Cherry Cup (as was explained by someone to Hockey Canada during the last Cherry Cup). Since FC did go 1-1-0 against Ian, it would make sense but on the international level for hockey (like soccer) they play GD. Plus, that pesky tradition thing.

Plus, if you tie and Ian wins, they would be in based on Wins (see below) regardless of record against you. Yes, win and you're in. Tie and you have to wait it out. Loose and Tonissa is in.

The Chicanadan bid had the tiebreakers (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=8518518&postcount=55) as:

1. Points (well, this ruins all ties, obviously)
2. Wins
3. Goal Differential
4. Record against tied opponents
5. Goals Scored
6. Goals Allowed
7. Rank

and Ian, certainly no offense taken :p

FLP beat Lovisa again.

FLP beat Lovisa once more to qualify for the next round. It was a single goal in the first period which sperated the teams, and no indepth report shall follow, because frankly the game was boring.

The last match to be played is against Robotopolis, and the team is currently deciding whether to adopt a similar strategy to that used before, or to actually try and play.

INBREEDIA CHOKES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Loses crucial match to VAR, 'advances' to second chance round!

Livingston, Chicanada - The Inbreedia National Hockey Team came into the match against division leader Arctic Hares with all the confidence of a band of drunken, boastful rednecks. And for most of the game, it actually worked...

Up until a heartbreaking finish in overtime resigned the Grey Ghosts to the second chance round.

VAR's national team squeaked the puck past star goaltender Jethro Sharpton in a five man pileup on the crease, resulting in a 1-0 win that doomed Inbreedia's chances of making it out of the division with dignity. Now with only the second chance round to look forward too, Inbreedia's match with Druida today doesn't seem to make a lick of difference.

Or does it? If Inbreedia wins against Druida, it could sink the rival team into the basement with them, but coach Grant Stuart IV isn't too concerned. "I said no, I said, I don't dang well care what happens too much about any other team." He commented during today's press conference, "I'm more concerned about our chances in the second chance round. Today's match doesn't help us too dang much, so i'll put the young 'uns in frunt this time... give 'em a bit o' experience, let our best players take a break. If we's here win... that's gravy on briskets, son. But i'm here thinkin' about the next round, 'cause that's where we need ta be winnin'!"

On comments about Inbreedia's potent defense, he replied, "They's good, that I can guarentee! But i'm dead sorry fo' the offense. They's got to bring results! They's good, I can tell you that, but they need to produce! Nobody wants to see low scorin' games! It's sinkin' the NHL, I tells you whut, and it's gonna sink us if we're not careful! But on the bright side, not many others are scorin' worth a pot o' p*ss either, so we's lucky."

Inbreedia has played well during the tournament, considering the competition thrust onto them by the Livingston Division. Last night's overtime game has shown Inbreedia's tenacity on the ice, but they still can't get past their scoring hump. And also the fact that most of the league's teams are too focused on defense has chased away most casual hockey fans, leaving only the ardent fanatics that are too stupid to notice what dull hockey that has been produced. VAR's trap defense left many fans to find beers instead of cheers, but Inbreedia managed to keep the crowds talking with their rough, rowdy play. However, their offense still cannot crack a good defense, and it was usually up to their own defense to pick up the slack.

But starting as a lower seed team to a contender in the second chance round has risen Inbreedia's stock. They managed to play close games against a faltering yet still formidable Starblaydia, and a hot and competative VAR team, while winning against wildcard Druida. In the most rabid division ever, Inbreedia came out on the losing end, but also gaining experience that will make them dangerous in the second chance round.





OOC: Seriously, I *&(*@#&@ hate the trap defense! I hate the New Jersey Devils! I hate the Dallas Stars! I hate the Minnesota Wild! The trap helped make hockey more boring! It produced low scoring games, and it's helping ruin NHL's tv ratings... that is if they had any this season!

But i'm a big Calgary Flames fan, ever since i was a child. Last season, I saw them as the team everyone else should have been. Very offense oriented, fast, aggressive, always hitting back. And better yet, young! Only a few high salary players (like Jerome Iginla), not many old players who are overpaid and past their prime (like Detroit), a great coach, and one hell of a goaltender. Best yet, they had an overall salary of under 40 mil, which was proposed in the player/league negotiations! That's the way hockey should be!

Damn shame it isn't. I miss it so much. That's why i'm having a ball here. But couldn't there be higher scores?

Ferrets Qualify

A draw with Hisam puts the Ferrets out of reach

Hisam has alreadyplayed all six of their games and come up with the stunning total of 3 points. The only game remaining is between Squornshelous and Oliverry, who have 8 and 10 points respectively. This game is completely meaningless, and Squornshelous is expected to rest starting keeper Viktor Orlov and cut playing time for the first line. A low score is expected, as neither team will be playing all out and the defense will probably control most of the game. We also expect third line defensemen Krog Dugsk and Wet BIscuit MacGlee to add to their combined total of 39 penalty minutes, with Dugsk racking up 18 and MacGlee earning 21.

Acadia Division Standings:

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Oliverry 10 3 1 1 7:3 4 Q
2. Squornshelous 8 2 2 1 6:5 1 Q
E Hisam 3 0 3 3 4:9 -5

...a nice RP, and other stuff, ending in... "But couldn't there be higher scores?"RP a whole bunch more goals - that, for a variety of reason, don't count...;)

http://img72.exs.cx/img72/6189/cherrycupxilogoproposal1sf.gif
Cherry Cup XI - Matchday Results

North Region

Livingston Division

Very Angry Rabbits 1 Starblaydia 2
Inbreedia 0 Druida 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Starblaydia 11 3 2 1 12:8 4 Q
2. Very Angry Rabbits 10 3 1 2 8:6 2 Q
E Druida 7 2 1 3 4:6 -2
E Inbreedia 5 1 2 3 2:6 -4

Acadia Division

Oliverry 0 Squornshelous 1

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Squoenshelous 11 3 2 1 6:7 -1 Q
2. Oliverry 10 3 1 2 5:5 0 Q
E Hisam 3 0 3 3 4:9 -5

North Notes: N1: Starblaydia, N2: Squoenshelous, N3: VAR, N4: Oliverry

West Region

Paradiso Division

Liverpool England 0 Corneliu 1
Gulf States 2 Vilita 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Liverpool England 10 3 1 2 5:3 2 Q
2. Vilita 10 3 1 2 6:6 0 Q
E Gulf States 8 2 2 2 7:7 0
E Corneliu 5 1 2 3 5:7 -2

Cana Division

Hockey Canada 1 Kalaalit Nunaat 2
Kalaalit Nunaat 1 Kericia 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Hockey Canada 12 4 0 2 13:7 6 Q
2. Kalaalit Nunaat 11 3 2 1 9:10 -1 Q
3. Kericia 2 0 2 4 7:12 -5

West Notes: W1: HC, W2: KN, W3: LE, W4: Vilita

East Region

Colombo Division

Euroslavia 0 South Ossetia 0
Fmjphoneix 0 Harlesburg 2

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. South Ossetia 10 2 4 0 5:3 2 Q
2. Harlesburg 9 2 3 1 5:3 2 Q (on GD)
E Euroslavia 9 2 3 1 4:3 1
E Fmjphoneix 2 0 2 4 3:8 -5

Eastentown Division

Fimble loving peoples 0 Robotopolis 1

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Robotopolis 13 4 1 1 9:1 8 Q
2. Fimble loving peoples 8 2 2 2 4:6 -2 Q
E Lovisa 4 1 1 4 2:8 -6

East Notes: E1: Robotopolis, E2: South Ossetia, E3: Harlesburg, E4: FLP

South Region

Finnen Division

Kelssek 3 Sjwitz 1
Stumperia 0 Chicanada 1

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Sjwitz 10 3 1 2 6:5 1 Q
2. Kelssek 9 2 3 1 7:5 2 Q
E Chicanada 8 2 2 2 4:5 -1
E Stumperia 6 2 0 4 4:6 -2

Star Point Division

Tanah Burung 2 Iansisle 3
Formal Dances 0 Tonissa 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Tanah Burung 11 3 2 1 9:6 3 Q
2. Iansisle 7 2 1 3 12:13 -1 Q (quals off of win total)
E Formal Dances 7 1 4 1 9:10 -1
E Tonissa 6 1 3 2 6:7 -1

South Notes: S1: TB, S2: Sjwitz, S3: Kelssek, S4: Iansisle

---------------------------------

Official Schedule for Knockout/Relegation Rounds: (subject to change)

Monday (in Chicanada/Wyoming)
29 or In - in Eastentown (winner advances to Relegation, looser will finish 29th)
SC0: Kericia v Fmjphoenix

Knockout Second Round
MA1: N3 Very Angry Rabbits v S4 Iansisle (@ Jaxx)
MA2: S3 Kelssek v W4 Vilita (@ Paradiso)
MA3: W3 Liverpool England v E4 Fimble loving peoples (@ Colombo)
MA4: E3 Harlesburg v N4 Oliverry (@ Livingston)

Tuesday
Relegation Second Round - in Eastentown
SC1: Corneliu v Inbreedia
SC2: Formal Dances v SC0 Winner
SC3: Stumperia v Hisam
SC4: Tonissa v Lovisa

Knockout Third Round
MB1: N2 Squornshelous v MA3 Winner (@ Livingston)
MB2: S2 Sjwitz v MA4 Winner (@ Jaxx)
MB3: E2 South Ossetia v MA2 Winner (@ Colombo)
MB4: W2 Kalaalit Nunaat v MA1 Winner (@ Paradiso)

Wednesday
Relegation Quaterfinals - in Eastentown
SC1A: Euroslavia v SC1 Winner
SC2A: Druida v SC2 Winner
SC3A: Chicanada v SC3 Winner
SC4A: The Gulf States v SC4 Winner

Relegation Others Round - in Eastentown
SC5A: SC1 Loser v SC2 Loser
SC6A: SC3 Loser v SC4 Loser

Knockout Quaterfinals
MC1: N1 Starblaydia v MB3 Winner (@ Livingston)
MC2: S1 Tanah Burung v MB4 Winner (@ Jaxx)
MC3: E1 Robotopolis v MB2 Winner (@ Colombo)
MC4: W1 Hockey Canada v MB1 Winner (@ Paradiso)

Knockout Consolation Rounds - in Cana
RA1: MA1 Loser v MA2 Loser
RA2: MA3 Loser v MA4 Loser
RB1: MB1 Loser v MB2 Loser
RB2: MB3 Loser v MB4 Loser

Thursday
Relegation Semifinals - Eastentown
SC1B: SC1A Winner v SC2A Winner
SC2B: SC3A Winner v SC4A Winner

Relegation Consolation Semifinals - Eastentown
SC3B: SC1A Loser v SC2A Loser
SC4B: SC3A Loser v SC4A Loser

Relegation Finals - Eastentown
25th Place: SC5A Winner v SC6A Winner
27th Place: SC5A Loser v SC6A Loser

Knockout Semifinals - in Mogada
MD1: MC1 Winner v MC2 Winner
MD2: MC3 Winner v MC4 Winner
MD3: MC1 Loser v MC4 Loser
MD4: MC2 Loser v MC3 Loser

Knockout Consolation Finals - Cana
9th Place: RB1 Winner v RB2 Winner
11th Place: RB1 Loser v RB2 Loser
13th Place: RA1 Winner v RA2 Winner
15th Place: RA1 Loser v RA2 Loser

Friday
Relegation Finals - Eastentown
17th Place: SC1B Winner v SC2B Winner
19th Place: SC1B Loser v SC2B Loser
21st Place: SC3B Winner v SC4B Winner
23rd Place: SC3B Loser v SC4B Loser

5th Place and 7th Place Finals - Mogada
5th Place: MD3 Winner v MD4 Winner
7th Place: MD3 Loser v MD4 Loser

Saturday
Grand Finals - Mogada
1st Place: MD1 Winner v MD2 Winner
3rd Place: MD1 Loser v MD2 Loser

Gulls Totally Rule
"We were never really worried," says Gulls coach Steve Martinson

STAR POINT, Chicanada -- If there was any debate over whether or not the Iansisle Gulls were truly the team favored most by Providence, it was completely put away by yesterday's events. The Gulls beat the Cassowaries of Tanah Burung to within an inch of their large, flightless lives while division rivals Formal Dances and Tonissia tied themselves up in a big, useless knot.

"I have never seen a more clear example of divine intervention," said team captain B.J. MacPherson, who has since changed his name to the Reverend Bartholomew Jacobus MacPherson and taken to wearing a collar with his hockey uniform. "And I can honestly say, it's never been so good to be favored by God. Amen."

The Gulls, who snuck into the knockout round as the lowest ranked team in the entire Cherry Cup, will be facing the Very Generous Rabbits, who qualified alongside Starblaydia out of the very competitive Livingston Division.

"I have no doubt that the Lord will smite these tiny heathen abominations, as He hath seen fit to smite all of our unworthy foes," said the Rev. Bartholomew Jacobus MacPherson about the 'Rabbits.

This reporter is equally confident that the Gulls will, by hook or by crook, continue to befuddle their foes and advance in the face of all reason. Amen.

We find this notice posted outside the office of Otto Matic, Director of Operations for the Very Angry Rabbits hockey team, the Artic Hares. Otto likes to post notices, don’t he?

So here we are, team - three wins, one draw, two losses - and qualifed! Woulda been nice to beat Starblaydia – but if ya keep on your toes, we could get another shot at ‘em. Not bad, not bad at all. Extra rations of carrots for everyone!

The Gullibles are up next. These guys aren't gonna fold up - they came to Chicanada to play hockey, and they play a particularly tough brand of hockey. We need to be in top form for this one. Each of you needs to be focused. And by that I mean that once again the beer is locked up until after the game. No, not in my office – that was too easy. Just lay off the alcoholic refreshments until after the game. Then I’ll give ya’ll a little treasure map and the key.

Meanwhile, let’s get ready for the Gullibles, fellas. Sharpen your skates – we’ll need all the speed and agility we can muster. Sharpen your skills – don’t leave anything behind when you go out on the ice. Oh, and let’s not forget the game the Gullibles played against the Tonissian Comets. Sharpen your sticks, too.

Otto

and, on a small piece of paper scotch-taped to the bottom of Otto’s notice:

You can stop hidin’ the beer any time now, Otto. We just go across the street to the Pigly Wigly and buy more.

[center][img]
Official Schedule for Knockout/Relegation Rounds: (subject to change)
...the official schedule (which has been removed as a space-saving device)...
That is some of the most confusing scheduling I think I've ever seen. Just like real hockey... ;) On with the games!

Fan #1: "Well, we're out, then."

Fan #2: "Uhuh."

Fan #1: "Shall we go and get drunk?"

Fan #2: "Not yet. Apparently we've got a few more games to play, just to see how completely useless we are."

Fan #1: "Great, more embarrasement to come. Can we get drunk now?"

Fan #2: "OK."

Blades beat Blades!
After a stirling 2cgoal perfprmance the Harlesburg baldes have beaten the Fmjphoenix Blades 2 goas to zip.

(OOC)Dont have time ! :(

http://img72.exs.cx/img72/6189/cherrycupxilogoproposal1sf.gif
Cherry Cup XI - Matchday 7 Results

29 or In
Kericia 1 Fmjphoenix 0, OT

Fmjphonenix will enter Cherry Cup XII in 29th.

Knockout Second Round
Very Angry Rabbits 4 Iansisle 2, 2OT
Kelssek 1 Vilita 2
Liverpool England 1 Fimble loving peoples 2
Harlesburg 2 Oliverry 1

Official Schedule for Knockout/Relegation Rounds: (subject to change)

Tuesday
Relegation Second Round - in Eastentown
SC1: Corneliu v Inbreedia
SC2: Formal Dances v Kericia
SC3: Stumperia v Hisam
SC4: Tonissa v Lovisa

Knockout Third Round
MB1: N2 Squornshelous v Fimble loving peoples (@ Livingston)
MB2: S2 Sjwitz v Harlesburg (@ Jaxx)
MB3: E2 South Ossetia v Vilita (@ Colombo)
MB4: W2 Kalaalit Nunaat v Very Angry Rabbits (@ Paradiso)

Wednesday
Relegation Quaterfinals - in Eastentown
SC1A: Euroslavia v SC1 Winner
SC2A: Druida v SC2 Winner
SC3A: Chicanada v SC3 Winner
SC4A: The Gulf States v SC4 Winner

Relegation Others Round - in Eastentown
SC5A: SC1 Loser v SC2 Loser
SC6A: SC3 Loser v SC4 Loser

Knockout Quaterfinals
MC1: N1 Starblaydia v MB3 Winner (@ Livingston)
MC2: S1 Tanah Burung v MB4 Winner (@ Jaxx)
MC3: E1 Robotopolis v MB2 Winner (@ Colombo)
MC4: W1 Hockey Canada v MB1 Winner (@ Paradiso)

Knockout Consolation Rounds - in Cana
RA1: Iansisle v Kelssek
RA2: Liverpool England v Oliverry
RB1: MB1 Loser v MB2 Loser
RB2: MB3 Loser v MB4 Loser

Thursday
Relegation Semifinals - Eastentown
SC1B: SC1A Winner v SC2A Winner
SC2B: SC3A Winner v SC4A Winner

Relegation Consolation Semifinals - Eastentown
SC3B: SC1A Loser v SC2A Loser
SC4B: SC3A Loser v SC4A Loser

Relegation Finals - Eastentown
25th Place: SC5A Winner v SC6A Winner
27th Place: SC5A Loser v SC6A Loser

Knockout Semifinals - in Mogada
MD1: MC1 Winner v MC2 Winner
MD2: MC3 Winner v MC4 Winner
MD3: MC1 Loser v MC4 Loser
MD4: MC2 Loser v MC3 Loser

Knockout Consolation Finals - Cana
9th Place: RB1 Winner v RB2 Winner
11th Place: RB1 Loser v RB2 Loser
13th Place: RA1 Winner v RA2 Winner
15th Place: RA1 Loser v RA2 Loser

Friday
Relegation Finals - Eastentown
17th Place: SC1B Winner v SC2B Winner
19th Place: SC1B Loser v SC2B Loser
21st Place: SC3B Winner v SC4B Winner
23rd Place: SC3B Loser v SC4B Loser

5th Place and 7th Place Finals - Mogada
5th Place: MD3 Winner v MD4 Winner
7th Place: MD3 Loser v MD4 Loser

Saturday
Grand Finals - Mogada
1st Place: MD1 Winner v MD2 Winner
3rd Place: MD1 Loser v MD2 Loser[/QUOTE]

SPORTSBLURB!

Gulls head coach Steve Martinson announces that the country of 'Very Angry Rabbits' has 1.0 seconds to change its name to 'Very Damn Lucky Cheating Rabbits' before he changes it to 'Very Dead Rabbits' forever. More information as events warrant.

It has just been announced, The Gulf States still lives on in the next Cherry Cup. Although it's a disappointment the team will not be a contendor for the championship this year, everyone knows this a tuneup for years to come. And the team promises to finish this Cup off with hard work and perhaps a good showing in the consolation brackets.

One coach, who refused to be identified, left a quote for the Bardista City Tribune... "If we play our game Wednesday, and we lose, then we better be giving the team's best. We should offer our fans and our country nothing short of that. The last few Cherry Cups we've played in, we've struggled. And then we took two Cups off. Not a surprise we're doing poorly to our old standards."

One must give some credit to this revamped team. They nearly made it into the Top round of 16. A 17th place finish wouldn't be the best for this team, but it's better than 29th...

Squornshelous beats Oliverry again to win Division

Coming in second in the Northern Conference, the Ferrets will now face off with Fimble Loving Peoples
We would like to take this time to ask the Ice Hockey Association of Oliverry to come through with their traditional threat issued before the start of this Cherry Cup.


We threaten to kill every Fimble we find!


We would ask them to put aside the recent defeats they were handed by the Ferrets and do this for the good of the many. We also offer them deepest condolences on their loss to Harlesburg, as we are sure the referee was bribed. We do admit that we have failed miserably to follow through on our own threat, but we hope that Oliverry can step up to the plate on this one.

SPORTSBLURB!

Gulls head coach Steve Martinson announces that the country of 'Very Angry Rabbits' has 1.0 seconds to change its name to 'Very Damn Lucky Cheating Rabbits' before he changes it to 'Very Dead Rabbits' forever. More information as events warrant.A bill placed before the House of Burgesses today contemplates a name change for the nation to "Very Damn Lucky Cheating Rabbits." The bill was co-sponsored by Mopsy, MOB (Member of Burgesses) from Edgeburrow, and his sister Flopsy, MOB from Warren-By-The-Sea, Farmshire. While the bill has the full support of Ruppert The Incompetent, Prince of Edgeburrow and the Far Marches, it is opposed by His Hareness The Old Grey Hare, who opined that while the "Cheating" part is apt enough, "Damn Lucky" is still in question.

A spokesman for the Department of SAM (Spin and Marty) stated that it is purely coincidental that the sovereign nation of Iansisle made a similar proposal earlier today.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v428/numbersaregood/nsntonight.jpg

"So we're in a 'knockout consolation round'?!"

"That's right."

"What is this, some kind of game show?"

"Well, we are up against Iansisle, a pretty decent team, and beating them will be a very good indicator of our progress."

"Ah. But if we're playing against them, they must suck too."

"I guess..."

---
Barry Gettman's Evil Lair
---

"This is very bad, Bill." said Gettman.

Bill Daly stood quietly, awaiting his fate.

"You allowed these quivering fools to get hockey to watch again. And international hockey, no less. Now these despicable fans are even more excited about the sport than ever! They're cheering on their nation and attaching the national flag to hockey sticks! They're painting their faces blue and red!" he raged, "I am extremely disappointed, Bill."

He grabbed Bill's head and glared into his eyes. Bill kept very still, fearing Gettman would decapitate him at any moment.

"Can you hear me, Bill? I'm going to be honest with you. I hate this... game, this sport, whatever you want to call it. It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I can taste the stink it, it's repulsive. And every time I do I feel I have somehow been infected by it. I have to get out of here. I have to get free and this lockout is the key. My key. I must get out of this business and you are going to help me. You are going to help me or you are going to die."

He released Bill Daly's head from the death grip. Bill breathed a gasp of relief.

"Call the players union, Bill. Tell Linden his mother is a whore. I want to get them so angry they'll go right back to their confrontational stance. And see if you can sue them."

Moron writer doesn't know how to add colour to headlines.

But back to the hockey, as FLP progress to the next round, or the second chance round, or something anyway. The point is that the team won and shall get to play another hockey game. That's about all there is to say, and if anyone complains they can come down to this newspaper office and catch the flu off of me.

This was officially the most informal newspaper article written.

"So now what's going on?"

"Well, we won our group, and were the only team to finish the group stage unbeaten."

"That's pretty impressive for us, isn't it?"

"Yes...but we still only finished second in our conference."

"That's quite crap, isn't it?"

"Yes...so we're now through to the Knockout Third Round."

"Hang on...what happened to Round Two?"

"We didn't have to do it. Round Two was for teams that got through by the skins of their teeth."

"Okay...so who are we playing?"

"Vilita."

"...bugger!"

"Yes, they beat Kelssek 2-1 in the Knockout Second Round."

"Don't you think the scores in this tournament are really low? In the last tournament we had games with four or five goals. Now we rarely see above two. What happened?"

"I don't know...Daylight Savings Time perhaps..."

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"More time for the ice to melt, or...I'm talking crap now."

"Yes, just carry on."

"So we're playing Vilita, and then if we win that we go on to play Starblaydia."

"...well this just gets better and better doesn't it?"

"Yep."

"So...if we're going to continue our steady progression up the ranks, we going to have to get into the next round."

"Vilita are ranked lower than us."

"Since when did that matter?"

"Good point."

"I think it's time we got out...the mirrors!"

*gasps all round*

Moron writer doesn't know how to add colour to headlines.
ooc: just like "size", except [color=red] or [color=green]. end it the same way, too - /color inside [ ]. Butcha hafta spell it "color" - "colour" doesn't work :cool:

reminds me of when i was new at all this, and asked how to do italics and bold type. i was told to get bold type go over it several times with my pencil, and for italics to blow on the print from one side...

South Osettia, We can Take Them

Hah, so we play South Osettia again, that's cool, I think we've oh, got a good record against them, don't we.

Sure we do.

I know, we do, that's why I said it.

No, you didn't know, you were asking a question!

No I wasn't, it was a retorical question, I wasn't expecting an answer!

Yes you were, don't lie to me, you weren't sure. You call yourself a fan of Vilitan Sport and you weren't sure

I was sure! I was just using altering tone to keep interest in our listeners!

Stop making up excuses, we all know you are full of them, come on drop it and lets move on.

No, not a chance in hell. You know damn well that I knew. I knew that we had umm a favorable performance in the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Hockey, and we did well against them in the Cherry Cup, so How is it that I would not have known

Because you can't even tell me the score of the match, can you? any of them, can you?

What thats an absurd question do you know how many single scorelines there have been?

Yes, I do. The Mountains beat the Cats 1-0 in 4 OT's. Remember that? Sure you don't, you dont care that much.

But what does that have to do with South Osettia?

Nothing, just proving to you that I remember scores and you don't

That doesn't prove crap, You can't even tell me the score of the South Osettia games, can you

Sure I can, what the hell are you talking about

So tell me..... I'm waiting

Shut up, lets move on

OHHHHH! Now someone wants to move on!

I wanted to move on before you big ass

Shut up.

Fine.

Whether by the power of prayer or the power of steroids, the Cassowaries breezed to an incredible finish, banishing the ghosts of last year's home-ice fiasco. Martina in goal put in an especially effective performance for the defensively-focussed Tanah Burung squad.

The Cassowaries now sit and wait, sipping decourously on their Stout Louts as they watch hockey titans knock each other over the head for the chance to play them. The opponent's path: first, Cassowary nemesis Iansisle would face Cassowary arch-nemesis Very Angry Rabbits, the winner to advance to meet the defending champion Kalaallit Nunaat, with the survivor from that cage match going on to meet Tanah Burung. Not a thin pool of talent, but sister Hale Maria had high hopes that these three teams wold fight each other to the point of exhaustion, leaving easy pickings for the well-rested Cassowaries. A Gulls-Iceberg clash seemed best calculted to produce the requisite tooth-shattering brawl.

But it was not to be. The Arctic Hares took the day in double-overtime to advance to the next round. Whether they will still have the stamina to face the unstoppable Iceberg remains to be seen.

ooc: just like "size", except [color=red] or [color=green]. end it the same way, too - /color inside [ ]. Butcha hafta spell it "color" - "colour" doesn't work :cool:

reminds me of when i was new at all this, and asked how to do italics and bold type. i was told to get bold type go over it several times with my pencil, and for italics to blow on the print from one side...

OOC: Thanks. I think I cleverly worked it into my RP. *Cough*Failedbadly*Cough*

Bigfoot Times
Managing Editor - Thumper

After All These Years

The Artic Hares are set to go up against our age old enemy - Inuits! Call 'em Eskimos if you like, or Aleuts, or 'Kalaallit Nunaat', or what-have-you. We don't care what you call 'em, we're just happy to have a shot at 'em at last! Hundred Words For Snow my foot! Er...not really my foot. Leave that foot alone, do you hear! Rabbits' foot, indeed!

For time immemorial the indigenous peoples of the frozen north have hunted and trapped the indigenous non-peoples of the frozen north. The seal, the polar bear, the artic fox, the caribou, the beluga whale...and the Artic Hare all count themselves among the prey of the Inuit. Hunted with bow and arrow, with spear, with the new-fangled "fire-stick". Trapped and skinned. Yuck! I mean, seal pelts is the national currency up there. Waddaya get in change? Rabbit pelts?

Boiled, broiled, baked, roasted, stir-fryed if you will, the Artic Hare has been on the losing end of that equation for far too long.

Now, at last, after all these years, the Artic Hare has a chance for revenge! It may be only an ice hockey game, but today your very own Artic Hares go up against Kalaallit Nunaat of the far north - the Inuit Incarnate! It matters not that they are the reigning Champions of the sport. It matters not that they have the experience of 10 Cherry Cup tournaments behind them, while we've only had two attempts before. It matters not that they out weigh us by more than 3 to 1. What matters is a chance, once and for all, to turn the tables!

While it isn't life or death...well, then again, who says it isn't life or death? For honor, boys! For King and Country! For all the indignities of the past! For crying out loud, stomp 'em!

And...for one more chance to make Cassowary Cassarole...


------------------------
i take some serious poetic license here - and apologize in advance to the honorable founder of this competition, KN. no offense is intended, please don't take any - it just seemed like such a golden rp opportunity if "kalaallit nunaat" were an inuit name.

Harlesburg sneak home.
Harlesburg 2 Oliverry1
Last night Harlesburg came from a goal down after 2 periods to win a crucial match against inform opposition Oliverry.

Oliverry opened the scoring llate in the 1st period due to a neat deflection off a deep wide shot from their star Wingman.
At the time tghe Harlesburg defense looked in dissare not being able to keep up with Oliverry's faster skaters and more precise passing.

That all changed in the 2nd period when it appeared Oliverry droped down a couple of gears and started to cruise along not trying to force the issue.

"To me it looked like Oliverry just wanted to see the game out.
We just could not understand how they eased the preesure so early it let us back in the game."
Said Harlesburg Coach Barry Melrose.

The 2nd period saw a switch in monetum in favour of the Harlesburg team although the scores remanied the same 1- zero to Oliverry.


The 3rd period was just as fierce as the 2nd 5 shots each on goal in the first 7 minutes.
But Harlesburg got their 1st goal in the 13th minute scored from a slap shot from Pierre St Laurent and their 2nd from Handel Lefrankie in the 17th from a deflection.
This second goal forced Olivrry to pull their Goalie with 1 minute and 14 seconds to play but neither team could capitilise.

Harlesburg play unknown Nation Sjwitz at Jinx tonight.

http://img72.exs.cx/img72/6189/cherrycupxilogoproposal1sf.gif
Cherry Cup XI - Matchday 8 Results

Relegation Second Round - in Eastentown
Corneliu 0 Inbreedia 1
Formal Dances 4 Kericia 5, 3OT
Stumperia 1 Hisam 0
Tonissa 0 Lovisa 3

Knockout Third Round
Squornshelous 0 Fimble loving peoples 1
Sjwitz 1 Harlesburg 0
South Ossetia 0 Vilita 1
Kalaalit Nunaat 0 Very Angry Rabbits 1

Official Schedule for Knockout/Relegation Rounds: (subject to change)

Wednesday
Relegation Quaterfinals - in Eastentown
SC1A: Euroslavia v Inbreedia
SC2A: Druida v Kericia
SC3A: Chicanada v Stumperia
SC4A: The Gulf States v Lovisa

Relegation Others Round - in Eastentown
SC5A: Corneliu v Formal Dances
SC6A: Hisam v Tonissa

Knockout Quaterfinals
MC1: N1 Starblaydia v Vilita (@ Livingston)
MC2: S1 Tanah Burung v Very Angry Rabbits (@ Jaxx)
MC3: E1 Robotopolis v Sjwitz(@ Colombo)
MC4: W1 Hockey Canada v Fimble loving peoples (@ Paradiso)

Knockout Consolation Rounds - in Cana
RA1: Iansisle v Kelssek
RA2: Liverpool England v Oliverry
RB1: Squornshelous v Harlesburg
RB2: South Ossetia v Kalaalit Nunaat

Thursday
Relegation Semifinals - Eastentown
SC1B: SC1A Winner v SC2A Winner
SC2B: SC3A Winner v SC4A Winner

Relegation Consolation Semifinals - Eastentown
SC3B: SC1A Loser v SC2A Loser
SC4B: SC3A Loser v SC4A Loser

Relegation Finals - Eastentown
25th Place: SC5A Winner v SC6A Winner
27th Place: SC5A Loser v SC6A Loser

Knockout Semifinals - in Mogada
MD1: MC1 Winner v MC2 Winner
MD2: MC3 Winner v MC4 Winner
MD3: MC1 Loser v MC4 Loser
MD4: MC2 Loser v MC3 Loser

Knockout Consolation Finals - Cana
9th Place: RB1 Winner v RB2 Winner
11th Place: RB1 Loser v RB2 Loser
13th Place: RA1 Winner v RA2 Winner
15th Place: RA1 Loser v RA2 Loser

Friday
Relegation Finals - Eastentown
17th Place: SC1B Winner v SC2B Winner
19th Place: SC1B Loser v SC2B Loser
21st Place: SC3B Winner v SC4B Winner
23rd Place: SC3B Loser v SC4B Loser

5th Place and 7th Place Finals - Mogada
5th Place: MD3 Winner v MD4 Winner
7th Place: MD3 Loser v MD4 Loser

Saturday
Grand Finals - Mogada
1st Place: MD1 Winner v MD2 Winner
3rd Place: MD1 Loser v MD2 Loser

A delegation from Very Inebriated Rabbits vistited Chicanada today. Well, they think it might have been today. Perhaps it was tomorrow. Or Thursday next week. They'll better be able to tell once they've sobered up a bit. While we can't quite pin this down, we are sure of several things.

1. The Artic Hares took their revenge on the Kalaallit Nunaat Inuits Incarnate. To quote a famous poet, "Oh, frabjous day! Calloo, Callay!" It was a one goal victory, over a determined and very talented opponent - but it was a victory none the less!

2. A seriously large number of trips were made from the Artic Hare locker room across the street to the Pigly Wigly.

3. Otto Matic, Director of Operations for the Artic Hares, provided a key, and a map of some kind, to the team after the game.

4. The janitorial staff at Paradiso received a substantial cheque from the Artic Hares organization - having more than earned it cleaning up the place after the celebration.

5. His Hareness, The Old Grey Hare, King of Very Angry Rabbits, declared a Public Holiday. In addition, he personnaly signed a number of certificates...

Certificate of Award

Very Angry Rabbits
Professional Hockey Association

To all who shall see these presents, Greetings:

Know Ye, that in appreciation and recognition of the athleticism and skill exhibited in the sport of Ice Hockey, as displayed during the run of play of the Cherry Cup XI Ice Hockey Tournament held in Chicanada, this Certificate of Award is

Presented to _________________
insert name of each "Artic Hare"

of the "Artic Hares" of Very Angry Rabbits


Peter
Peter XXXVIII
His Majesty
The Old Grey Hare
King of Very Angry Rabbits


6. In the late evening after the Kalaallit Nunaat-Very Angry Rabbits game a Chicanadian news team spotted an odd looking conga line, consisting of what looked like a number of people (some of whom appeared to have oddly long ears), several dwarves, at least two kangaroos, and a partridge (in some sort of fruit tree) dancing through the streets. They appeared be...um...shall we say "less than sober"?

7. Ruppert the Incompetent, Prince of Edgeburrow and the Far Marches, tore a dog-eared page out his cook book and sent it over night express to the Artic Hares. It was (of course) a receipe for "Cassowary Cassarole"

ChicanadaSun
All the news...Well, that we care about!

Jaquee Has Weird MeetNGreet
Restrained while meeting VAR delegates, joins a conga line

PARADISO - As the Cherry Cup Directorate made the rounds through the main third round action, Queen of Crazy Jaquee was placed in two unusual photo op sessions.

Before the VAR knocked off reigning Cherry Cup Champions Kaalalit Nunaat, the Directorate met with delegations from both teams governments which, to say the least was a tad stressful for Jaquee. Under direct orders from President DuMaier not to even think about kidnapping a delegate, Jaquee was visibly drunk and slurred out her thanks and welcome remarks to members of the VAR delegation before passing out in front of the Queen of Kaalalit Nunaat. Needless to say, embarrasment all around.

What made it even harder for the embattled Chancellor occured after the VAR-KN game, where yet another strange conga line was seen weaving through the Ministry Fieldhouse. And smack in the center was Jaquee, makeup smudged and clothes in a mess as if she had just finshed a drunken round of Hide The Salami. No word on if her long time fiancee Raoule Kilpon gave her a goaround or if Jaquee might have even more problems than public drunkeness, assault and vomiting on royal garb.

Nation happy with beating 'worst team in international hockey',

The team was reported to be pleased after scraping a win against Squornshelous. In a very even math it was luck more than skill which brought the win to FLP. The match was markedly scrappy, with much of the first string still out after the matches against Robotopolis. The team just hope they aren't forced into that tactic again.

"Harvey, I swear I heard it with my own ears!"

"We know about those "ears" of yours, Otto."

"No, no, no, Harv! Not those ears. My ears!"

"It's just a little hard to swallow, Otto, old man. I mean, it's been years - decades. No ones heard..."

"I heard, Harv! Me! They were..."

"Calm down, Otto. Take a breath. You're gonna give yourself a stroke. Relax. Breath in...and out...breath in...and out..."

"All well and good, Harvey, but I know what I heard."

"All right, then. Tell me again - but slowly, calmly - don't get so worked up."

"Right. Well. Last night. It was last night. I'd just finished checking out the locker room they assigned us, and dropping off some of my stuff in the office. I locked up, and was on my way out, when I remembered that I had to see the building superintendant to get another key to the locker room for the medical staff. So I headed back into the building, and took the left towards the supers' office instead of the right towards our locker room. It took me past the locker room they've assigned to Tanah Burung..."

"And...?"

"Well, Harv - that's when I heard them chanting."

"You heard them chanting what? Exactly what did you hear?"

"It came from inside the Tanah Burung locker room, Harv! I swear it did!"

"What did, Otto? What did you hear?"

"Harv...really...I...it was...they..."

"Otto!"

"Gil 'as died. Gil is risen. Gil will come again to collect 'is endorsement cheques."

Cleary your bunny misheard. What they were actually chanting was "Be wary of the very scary cassowary."

http://www.blackbrookzoologicalpark.co.uk/images/factsheet/cassowary.jpg !

ooc: Now, don't get funny with my bunny, sonny... ;)

IC: Intruder In Ital - Or Are Their Nerves Going?
VARIETY - Jaxx, Chicanada

Chicanadian authorities have been called in by Tanah Burung hockey officials to investigate an incident alleged to have occurred at the Ital Memorial Field House last night. Details are sketchy, but we do know that the Tanah Burung Cassaroles...er, Cassowaries...were in the middle of a team meeting last night when it is alleged they heard, and sighted, what they believe to have been an intruder in the hall outside the team locker room. It is unclear why the intruder may have been there, or what he or she is alleged to have done. However, the local authorities have released a composite sketch of the suspected intruder.

Police artists rendition of the suspected intruder (http://chamberlin.sbschools.net/users/rbarone/harecolor.htm)

A team official from the Artic Hares, the team from Very Angry Rabbits scheduled to take on the Cass..owaries tonight, who would not give his name, was of the opinion that there was no intruder. He seems to think it's purely a case of nerves brought about by the upcoming game, and the Cassowary memory of the last meeting between these two arch-rivals.

Meanwhile, for you Artic Hare fans out there who are looking for team equipment and memorabilia...Artic Hare Equipment and Memorabilia (http://www.cafepress.com/1withnature/454568)

INBREEDIA KNOCKS DOWN "GIANTS" CORNELIU

Almost Forgiven For Scoreless Match Against Druida

Eastentown, Chicanada - Yesterday's match against Corneliu was a low key affair, but a goal early in the first period by Inbreedite forward Willie 'No Tooth' Marshall set the tempo for the entire match, with the relentless Inbreedia defense pounding Corneliu into submission.

Sharp goaltending on both sides was paramount in keeping the game at a low goal tally. Goaltender Jethro Sharpton earned his third shutout of the tournament, and looked cool and confident on the ice.

Sadly, if it wasn't for the massive amount of penalties Inbreedia suffered during the match, the forwards would have racked up even more goals. Inbreedia's dicipline problems have always been a weakness, but were overcome despite the game.

This was not the case in their last game in the Livingston Division a few days ago. A scoreless tie against Druida left both teams frustrated and left to slug it out between themselves. What started as an innocent hockey fight started by hulking defenseman Porky Robertson erupted into a full on team melee, draining both benches in a free for all slobberknocker. The fans were already enraged because not a goal was scored, and the fact that the local brewery was sponsoring 'beer for a quarter night'. The innocent enough hockey fight turned into a full on riot.

Livingston Arena was repaired in time for the next days match, but Inbreedia had to repair their reputation for starting brawls and scoring low. None of these faults were corrected, but Coach Stuart expects the players to be on their best behavior, under threat of a pistol duel with the team captain in case anybody slips up. Since the Captain of the Inbreedia National Hockey Team is very popular, the order from their coach is expected to be heeded.

Inbreedia comes into the game beating 6th place Corneliu, and now facing 16th seed Euroslavia. This match is expected to go heavily in favour of Euroslavia, whom were still knocked out of the Columbo Division despite earning 9 points. If Inbreedia expects to win, they will have to come out of a fierce and disciplined squad, which will be nothing short of a miracle away.

...and, hidden away on page 38 of today's VARIETY...

Yesterday's News

The editorial staff of VARIETY has been remiss in reporting the progress of the initiative to rename our Armed Republic "Very Damn Lucky and Cheating Rabbits". We apologize for this oversight, and present the here-to-for missing information here to...um...you. the reader.

His Hareness Peter XXXVIII, The Old Grey Hare, devoted his Sunday Morning Fireside chat entirely to enumerating the faults of this, as he termed it, "Hare-brained" scheme, continuing his attempt to derail the proposed legislation.

Ruppert the Incompetent, Prince of Edgeburrow and the Far Marches, held a rally on Friday in Edgeburrow, and another on Saturday in the Far Marches, extolling the public to support the name change, and to contact their MOB (Member of Burgesses) and local Shire officials to encourage them to support the proposed legislation.

The House of Burgesses brought the measure to the floor for debate yesterday. After a lively debate, interupted twice by fist fights and once for afternoon tea, the measure was defeated 273 to 2.

CORNELIU SPORTS PAGE
Corneliu Loses on cheap goal

The Corneliu Penquins have been effectively kicked out of the tournament. In fact, that is preciously how it happened.

The only goal scored came in the 2nd period when the puck itself was intentionally kicked in by the Inbreedia player. As anyone with familiarization with the rules knows, you can't intentionally kick the puck in.

"This is an outrage and you know we have filed an official protest over this incident. The refs saw that the puck was kicked in intentionally but still allowed the goal anyway. That is a complete abomintion to the sport of hockey."

"It was cheap and we demand an apology or a redo of the game. It was cheap and the refs allowed it."

There will be more to this story as the events develope.

ooc: so many political compasses! (compi?) For the record: Economic Left/Right: -4.13, Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -8.31. All of the following insults should of course be taken with a very large winky...

Espionage scandal

It's widely known that many nations take sports altogether too seriously. A certain royal resident of Greenland who has been keeping very quiet about hr team's failures springs to mind. Yet one nation has taken dirty tricks to a new level: the Very Cheating Rabbits. Yesterday, a spy described as "huge hind-footed" with "large eyes" was spotted (geddit?) outside the Tanah Burung team's dressing room, pressing a gigantic and deformed ear against the door.

Of course, the very fact that rabbits have been permitted to compete in this Cup is a violation of Section 12, Subsection 134.2(b), Clause 5, of the International Ice Hockey Federation Statute Book, which clearly permits only human and humanoid skaters. The fact that some wacked-out Chicanadian hockey administrator who can't spell her own name seems to have a soft spot (geddit?) for the rabbits does not negate the special challengs in playing them. Iansisle and Kalaallit Nunaat, both used to a physical game, could not use their usual hard bodychecks against the diminutive rodents, and were easy prey (geddit?) for the Hares.

"We make no demands on the tournament organizers, even if they are godless wretches," said Sister Hale Maria, coach of the Cassowaries. "We are not crybabies. But i do think these naughty bunnies need to learn how people behave in polite society. None of them are too old for a spanking, you know."

Tanah Burung has never defeated the Arctic Hares, but plans to employ a clutch-and-grab system to slow their opponents' lightning-fast offence, trusting in goalkeeper Martina to stop any stray pucks.

OOC: I hate that Weird Al song. It isn't worth the time it took to produce it.

Viceroy Thompson was livid at the outcome of the game. He decided to take the case personally to his people and to go on the record with Chicanada.

"People of the hockey world. As you know, a grave atrocity occured in our match with Inbreedia. The referees in the game decided to let an intentionally kicked puck goal stands. This is down right cheating and spoils the game for those of us who play by the rules. I demand that Chicanada do something about this atrocity at once. If they fail to do so, grave consequences will occur. Mark my words, I do not speak idly. I demand that the game be replayed and an apology from the refs as well as Chicanada on whose soil this outrage occured."

When he finished, he nodded and the camera goes black.

All around the capitol, the people began to protest and protest loudly. They began to picket outside Inbreedia's and Chicanada's embassies demanding apology and in the extreme case, war, if things aren't rectified.

"Hey, Otto - wake up! Ya gotta see this! Wake up!"

"Snurf?"

"Wake up! Come on - get up! Down the hall! Lookit, lookit, lookit!"

"Urgh?"

"It’s on a tape from one of our hidden cameras."

"Wha...?"

"The security camera system."

Otto drags himself out of the warm snug cocoon of his down comforter, glares at the intruder, glares at the light that the intruder has turned on, and involuntarily yawns. He slips on his slippers and robe, and shuffles along behind his excited companion, who is literally hopping in circles around Otto as they approach the Artic Hares Security Office. They enter, and find Chief of Security Millicent Meter fiddling with the VCR remote. Millie looks up.

"It's on a tape from the Inbreedia – Corneliu game, Otto.”

"Snumpf."

“Here, let me play it back in slow motion for you.”

“What in the…?”

"Lookit. There it is. Right there!"

Otto observes an unidentified Inbred player skating at speed from the blue line, off by the boards to the left, towards the Cornish net. The puck is coming in from the other side, high and fast off a slap shot from the Inbred Wing. The Cornish goalie slaps it away with his glove hand. As it skips across the ice the first Inbred player turns to the side, using the edge of his blades as brakes. Shaved ice fills the air for a moment, the Inbred player slows, the puck skips towards him, and the Cornish goalie is stretching towards it.

“Here it comes. Right here.”

Millie points to a spot on screen with her pen. A relatively large chip of ice, about half the size of the puck, comes up in the spray from the Inbred players edges. The chip falls (oh, the temptation to say “where it may” – but, I restrain myself) to the ice. The Inbred players right skate edge makes contact with the chip, shoving it towards the Cornish net. It moves no more than a millimeter (geddit?) or two and hits the puck. The large ice chip stops, it’s kinetic energy transferred to the puck, which is now moving back towards the Cornish net. And slides beneath the outstretched arm of the Cornish keeper. Pause. And it hits the netting, causing the buzzer and light to go off!

"See, Otto, see? He didn’t kick the puck, after all.”

"I see."

"He kicked that big chip of ice. It was the ice chip that pushed the puck into the net.”

"So?”

“Well, there’s no rule against kicking chips of ice, Otto! It’s a clean goal! No harm, no foul!”

“And this matters to us how?”

“Well, I mean, there could be an international incident. And, we have this tape, see, Otto. We can show it to ‘em.”

“Show them a tape from our secret, unauthorized, security cameras?”

“…”

“That’s what I thought, too.”

“…But…Otto…Corneliu says…they said…I mean, war, Otto…”

"Alright, then. Find a citizen, any citizen, of Chicanada that’s…flexible…you know…cooperative. Give the citizen a little pep talk – including the consequences of not keeping secrets. Give the citizen a chance to look at this tape. Give the citizen a brand spanking new VCR camera. Give the citizen a couple hundred of whatever that local currency thingy is - Chicanadian pence, isn't it? Give the citizen a copy of this tape, and directions to the office of the Officials in charge of this tournament. Give the citizen explicit instructions to tell the authorities that HE taped the game, and HE found this…information…on HIS OWN. Remind him again how much we like people who keep secrets, and how much we frown on letting the proverbial cat out of the proverbial bag. After you send him on his merry way, draft up a letter for my signature reprimanding yourself for waking me up in the middle of the night for this nonsense, and docking yourself one weeks pay."

"Urk?"

"Exactly what I though you’d say."

Otto turns, and shuffles off back to bed.

Susan Aglukark, Queen of Kalaallit Nunaat, Iansisle, and her other dependencies, is furious that Hockey Canada dared to defeat her beloved Iceberg on the opening day. She vows to her people: we shall win another cherry Cup. I have sworn it! The Queen commands Hockey Canada to perform penance, or she shall lay waste to Canada. She considered banning hockey, but this might be a bad idea.

The Queen laughs at her various opponents and their pitiful efforts to claim a trophy that is hers by right of creation and conquest. She points at each one individually and laughs. Their efforts are pitiful in her sight.

Later....

There is a natural order to things. The Inuk hunts the arctic hare. The hare's lot is to be killed and eaten and give up his fur for the need of the Inuit.

How dare these Very Angry Rabbits defile the natural order of things? How dare they defeat the Iceberg and end its stately progression to another Cherry Cup? Have they no decency?

The order goes out: Kill All Rabbits! The ice floes shall be stained red with rabbit blood. No arctic hare shall remain to tell the tail. Fluffy wuffy extermination shall be their fate. Death to the rabbits!

Outside, the people are shouting at the Queen. They are carrying pitchforks and torches. They are not happy that the team has lost. No they are not.

The Queen is nervous. She cracks another rabbit skull and sucks out the brain marrow.

"Thats a lotta fixtures, laddies," Haztarr said as they scanned the fixture list for the latter stages of the Cherry Cup,"where ar we?"

"Versus Vilita in the Quarterfinals, baby!" yelled a keen-eyed Thorin Nibin.

"Vilita?" Haztarr squinted a little closer to the sheet of paper. "t'Vilita an Turorian Meowing Jungley Kitty-Cat Ice Thimgamies?"

"Aye coach," Thorin replied, "in Livingston..."

"I presume." Dwalin finished off the sentence. Nobody got it. "Oh, nevermind."

they play and they play and they do it all over again

sign up for the next Cup at http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=410778

[ooc: ayiyiyi! Go to sleep and all sorts of stuff happens!]

ChicanadaSun
All the news...Well, that we care about!

Cherry Cup? Try Baby Bottle!
Complaints galore as pissant nations bitch and moan some more

MOGADA - Oh, where to start with the rumors today?

Well, we can start with the ice block that Corneliu is crying about. Yes, an ice block. In the Corneliu/Inbreedia matchup the...um...whatever the Corneliu team's nick is are saying one of the yokels pushed a puck in and are bitching our refs missed it. Considering our refs have eyes and rarel miss a play, we already know they are full of it.

Needless to say, we got our hands on footage from the game taken right near the goal and lets just say it's clear no malicious kicking occured. Instead, as our plucky informant reports, an Inbreedian player slammed his skate wrong which dislodges a small amount of ice which hit the puck the Inbreedian player was about to hit. Since nowhere in the rules says an ice cube can't push a puck, there's very much no foul.

President DuMaier has already said that the Cornish government is overreacting to the goal situation and plans to send a delegation out with the footage later today. DuMaier did say she has already yanked to Consular to Corneliu and is considering yanking visas from the team if the state considers any illegal action (since she hates RPing wars and such). Cherry Cup Director Jaquee has already reviewed the footage with Cherry Cup International officials and they have already declared no foul was committed and the game will not be replayed.Yeesh, just because you placed sixth last time doesn't mean you can't suck this time.

And can someone explain how in the world Corneliu confused the goal scoring? Cuz Inbreedia said it was the first period, which the official account, and Corneliu said it was the second period, where...um...no one scored or had any chances to. Of course, the Cornish had a 5-3 man advantage for most of it due to the rednecks getting penalties, so us at the Sun think someone's stirring up some shite just to get elected or detract from an affair or something. Should we hear Chicanada is a threat to their way of life you'll be the first to know.

Oh, what else is happening? Well, we have a pissed off Queen over in Kalaalit Nunaat, where poor bunnies are being killed and Canada Proper is under an embargo as the reigning Cherry Cup champions were uncerimoniously ousted. What will that queen think of next?

And the best rumor? Rabbits are spying on gigantic emus! That's right, the Tanah Burung team had the ACPD arrest a Very Angry and Possibly Cheating (oh, all the scandal of that) Rabbit for overhearing some chanting outside the Cassowaries locker room. Of course, this is on top of the Cassowaries claiming rabbits are unable to compete in hockey due to some international hockey clause, but we think it's just them crying over having to play something cuter (as Jaquee would say) than they are.

By the way, Tanah Burung's coach Sister Mary Hale has been offered her very own Page 4 spread since we love a naughty nun. No word yet if she has accepted the offer or has said we're going to her personal hell for it.

[ooc: ayiyiyi! Go to sleep and all sorts of stuff happens!]

ChicanadaSun
All the news...Well, that we care about!

Cherry Cup? Try Baby Bottle!
Complaints galore as pissant nations bitch and moan some more

MOGADA - Oh, where to start with the rumors today?

Well, we can start with the ice block that Corneliu is crying about. Yes, an ice block. In the Corneliu/Inbreedia matchup the...um...whatever the Corneliu team's nick is are saying one of the yokels pushed a puck in and are bitching our refs missed it. Considering our refs have eyes and rarel miss a play, we already know they are full of it.

Needless to say, we got our hands on footage from the game taken right near the goal and lets just say it's clear no malicious kicking occured. Instead, as our plucky informant reports, an Inbreedian player slammed his skate wrong which dislodges a small amount of ice which hit the puck the Inbreedian player was about to hit. Since nowhere in the rules says an ice cube can't push a puck, there's very much no foul.

President DuMaier has already said that the Cornish government is overreacting to the goal situation and plans to send a delegation out with the footage later today. DuMaier did say she has already yanked to Consular to Corneliu and is considering yanking visas from the team if the state considers any illegal action (since she hates RPing wars and such). Cherry Cup Director Jaquee has already reviewed the footage with Cherry Cup International officials and they have already declared no foul was committed and the game will not be replayed.Yeesh, just because you placed sixth last time doesn't mean you can't suck this time.

And can someone explain how in the world Corneliu confused the goal scoring? Cuz Inbreedia said it was the first period, which the official account, and Corneliu said it was the second period, where...um...no one scored or had any chances to. Of course, the Cornish had a 5-3 man advantage for most of it due to the rednecks getting penalties, so us at the Sun think someone's stirring up some shite just to get elected or detract from an affair or something. Should we hear Chicanada is a threat to their way of life you'll be the first to know.

An uproar takes place in Corneliu over the ruling.

"It wasn't even an Ice block. It was clearly kicked in. As for the refs, I suggest they have their eyes examined. Everyone saw that the Inbreedia player kicked the puck in. And yes, it was the second period. picture shows the time score and period As you can see, it was clearly the second period."

Another picture: This of the play in question

"As you can see, there isn't any ice block. What you are seeing here is an intentionally kicked puck. This violates all rules of play and that goal should've been disallowed. The refs screwed us over and the people responsible will not get away with it. As of now, a state of war exists between Inbreedia and Chicanada. This outrage will not go unpunished."

Harlesburg bow out.
Harlesburg lose to Sjwitz 1-0
With Dont dream its over playing in the background the Harlesburg Blades knew it was over they had gone down to a stronger offensive side in Sjwitz.

Barry Melrose-Hey guys we played well out there tonight we showed a bunch of first timers could perform on the big stag.

Lafrankie-But Coach we wanted to win this like The BAsketballers won their first International Tournament,we wanted to make Harlesburg proud.

Barry Melrose-You havent seen our National TV have you?
You have made HArlesburg proud they are crying on the streets for you guys for you!
Now Buck up and lets take that 9th placing!

Whole Team-YEAH!!!!!1!

"Vilita?" Haztarr squinted a little closer to the sheet of paper. "t'Vilita an Turorian Meowing Jungley Kitty-Cat Ice Thimgamies?"


Riiiighhhhhht, So that's what they think of us.

Yes Sir, they don't give us that much respect, being past champions and all that.

Well, we still beat them in the regional tournament, and remember when we beat them in our first ever cup? what do they have to say about that, huh?

Well quite nothing sir, they are quite sure they will beat us this time about.

Well they won't, look at these boys, they are as ready as ever. Look at River Suzgar, he's got nothing to do while the Formula One is on a break.

Formula One, Sir?

Yes, don't you pay attention to anything you fool?

I guess not...

Well, River Suzgar is a very good racer, in fact, he's the test driver for Vilita F1 on the NSF1 circuit.

Test Driver, sir?

Yea, he does all the bitch work while Shultis Jr. and that panzy soccer player Ramzi get all the credit.

Oh, he must be pretty mad about that

Yea, and guess who he's gonna take it out on?

Starblaydia?

Hell Yes.

WALTZ CITY PAPER--SPORTS SECTION

The Formal Dances Hockey team loses a very hard fought game 5-4 in 3 overtimes. It was a close game going into the 3rd period when Kericia popped in their fourth goal. In the third ot, Kericia scored their fifth goal on a well timed one-timer.

"This was a hard fought game. Near the end, it was obvious that our team just didn't have the legs to complete the win. We congratulate Kericia on the win and wish them the best of luck in the playoffs. We now have to play Corneliu and that should be a very tough game for us.

Corneliu has launched a full protest in their loss to Inbreedia and we will have more as the events develope.

http://img72.exs.cx/img72/6189/cherrycupxilogoproposal1sf.gif
Cherry Cup XI - Matchday 9 Results

Relegation Quaterfinals
Euroslavia 3 Inbreedia 2
Druida 0 Kericia 2
Chicanada 2 Stumperia 1
The Gulf States 1 Lovisa 2

Relegation Others Round
Corneliu 2 Formal Dances 3
RE-DO DUE TO IMPROPRIETY Corneliu 3 Formal Dances 0
Hisam 3 Tonissa 1

Knockout Quaterfinals
Starblaydia 1 Vilita 3
Tanah Burung 1 Very Angry Rabbits 0
Robotopolis 2 Sjwitz 0
Hockey Canada 2 Fimble loving peoples 4, 3OT

Knockout Consolation Rounds
Iansisle 1 Kelssek 0
Liverpool England 1 Oliverry 3
Squornshelous 3 Harlesburg 1
South Ossetia 2 Kalaalit Nunaat 1

Official Schedule for Knockout/Relegation Rounds: (subject to change)

Thursday
Relegation Semifinals - Eastentown
SC1B: Euroslavia v Kericia
SC2B: Chicanada v Lovisa

Relegation Consolation Semifinals - Eastentown
SC3B: Inbreedia v Druida
SC4B: Stumperia v The Gulf States

Relegation Finals - Eastentown
25th Place: Corneliu v Hisam
27th Place: Formal Dances v Tonissa

Knockout Semifinals - in Mogada
MD1: Vilita v Tanah Burung
MD2: Robotopolis v Fimble loving peoples
MD3: Starblaydia v Hockey Canada
MD4: Very Angry Rabbits v Sjwitz

Knockout Consolation Finals - Cana
9th Place: Squornshelous v South Ossetia
11th Place: Harlesburg v Kalaalit Nunaat
13th Place: Iansisle v Oliverry
15th Place: Kelssek v Liverpool England

Friday
Relegation Finals - Eastentown
17th Place: SC1B Winner v SC2B Winner
19th Place: SC1B Loser v SC2B Loser
21st Place: SC3B Winner v SC4B Winner
23rd Place: SC3B Loser v SC4B Loser

5th Place and 7th Place Finals - Mogada
5th Place: MD3 Winner v MD4 Winner
7th Place: MD3 Loser v MD4 Loser

Saturday
Grand Finals - Mogada
1st Place: MD1 Winner v MD2 Winner
3rd Place: MD1 Loser v MD2 Loser

---------------------------

Notes

To Corneliu, the refs for the Corneliu/Inbreedia game were Cherry Cup International-certified and from Starblaydia. Chicanadan refs were not certified so we flew in refs from Vilita, Kalaalit Nunaat, your country, Starblaydia and Iansisle. And since I expect complaints today, the referees were from Vilita and Iansisle for the match against Formal Dances.

And if we redid your match (which is not happening since the CCI has already ruled on the goal in the first period and that it was a legal, if really weird, goal), we'd have to redo the damn tourney because all the losing teams would say every loss was unfair or whatever.

[ooc: ayiyiyi! Go to sleep and all sorts of stuff happens!]

ChicanadaSun
All the news...Well, that we care about!

Chicanada At War?
Rumors swell as foreign leaders mistalk, state war is between Chicanada and Inbreedia

CANA - To the surprise of all, the Corneliu government has delclared that Inbreedia and Chicanada are at war.

Of course, since we're not Corneliu, we assume this is a mistake.

President DuMaier stated today that no, we're not at war with either Inbreedia or Corneliu and that even if the Cornish government wishes to be insolent towards the Starblaydian referees of the match, the Inbreedian team or the Cherry Cup Directorate and Cherry Cup Internation, that is their decision.

No word on if the Corneliu team has been expelled yet by DuMaier, but they are still expected to face Tonissa in the 27th place matchup in Eastentown tommorow.

[OOC: Chicanada ain't playing war. Even if the other state is angry they lost a hockey match, Chicanada see it as a game and under no circumstances will they RP out a war over a damn goal. And I know it's all news and no sides are really mad or whatever, but considering we already had to face a war with the Liamist States over talking about their footy players, we're just making it very clear.]

oooo, nooooo!!!!

Advertisement placed today in VARIETY

Seek new receipe. A really nice Cassowary Cassarole receipe preferred, however, if you have a good Hassenpfeffer receipe...

;)

And the best rumor? Rabbits are spying on gigantic emus! That's right, the Tanah Burung team had the ACPD arrest a Very Angry and Possibly Cheating (oh, all the scandal of that) Rabbit for overhearing some chanting outside the Cassowaries locker room. Of course, this is on top of the Cassowaries claiming rabbits are unable to compete in hockey due to some international hockey clause, but we think it's just them crying over having to play something cuter (as Jaquee would say) than they are.

By the way, Tanah Burung's coach Sister Mary Hale has been offered her very own Page 4 spread since we love a naughty nun. No word yet if she has accepted the offer or has said we're going to her personal hell for it.

Sister Hale Maria had the following response: "Nothing is cuter than a Cassowary. Look at its ungainly legs and adorable beak structure! And tell those hacks i'll be happy to pose for their smut rag. God made me beautiful and sexy, and there's no reason the whole world shouldn't see that."

No rabbits were harmed in the making of this press statement.

Referee reportedly had "Better Places to Be"

Vilitan referee Miaoin Liaoi-Kaou Sika Me-Liao cited that he had "Better Places to Be" when he dissallowed a Corneliu goal in the final seconds of the game that would have sent Corneliu's match against Formal Dances into Over time.

Liaoi-Kaou Sika Me-Liao stated he was angered at being called in on such short notice to referee a match that he didnt even have a clue what it was for, other than it was one of a few hundred being played in Chicanada at the time, including his very own country Vilita who were involved in an important Quarter Final matchup against rival Starblaydia.

The referee apparently had no intentions on seeing the game go into overtime, and had controversially awarded Formal Dances to go-ahead goal with just a minute and a half to play, despite the fact that it was clear from a mile away that the puck never came within even half a foot of crossing the goal mouth.

...

Upon reports that a Vilitan referee allowed a go-ahead goal because he was lazy, the Corneliu/Formal Dances match will be replayed.

No, we are NOT redoing the Corneliu/Inbreedia match as well.

----------------------Pretend this is later-----------------------

Relegation Re-Do
Corneliu 3 Formal Dances 0

So Corneliu and Formal Dances will be switching matches, with FD meeting Tonissa again for 27th while Corneliu will move up to the 25th place match.

...

Upon reports that a Vilitan referee allowed a go-ahead goal because he was lazy, the Corneliu/Formal Dances match will be replayed.

No, we are NOT redoing the Corneliu/Inbreedia match as well.

----------------------Pretend this is later-----------------------

Relegation Re-Do
Corneliu 3 Formal Dances 0

So Corneliu and Formal Dances will be switching matches, with FD meeting Tonissa again for 27th while Corneliu will move up to the 25th place match.

How can we lose 4-2 in the 3rd OT? Can we replay the game too?

CORNELIU SPORTS PAGE
Corneliu hammers Formal Dances! Declares war on Inbreedia, Chicanada and Vilitia

Our beloved hockey team takes out Formal Dances 3-0 in a redue game because of the Vilitia refs inability to due his duty.

"This is our second game that had improprities. Whoever the hell is picking these refs has got to learn to pick them that know the damn rules. We got hosed because of referees in the last game and now we nearly had another one snatched in this one."

In response to their loss to Inbreedia, Viceroy Thompson roared over the congressional floor about the outrage. "We have to go to respond to this outrage. This cannot go unpunished."

In response, the Congress of the Colony of Corneliu has issued a declaration of war against Vilita for their dumb referee, Inbreedia for cheating, and Chicanada for failing to uphold the rules of the game.

How can we lose 4-2 in the 3rd OT? Can we replay the game too?

No. You tied 0-0 after the whole game, 1-1 after one OT, 1-1 after two ot and 4-2 after three in favor of the Fimbles.

OOC - As for Corneliu...whatever, it's sad when the host is already frustrated at the tournament they are hosting to have you have your nation act like an ass because you aren't happy with the results. Yes, I am damn cranky.

No. You tied 0-0 after the whole game, 1-1 after one OT, 1-1 after two ot and 4-2 after three in favor of the Fimbles.

OOC - As for Corneliu...whatever, it's sad when the host is already frustrated at the tournament they are hosting to have you have your nation act like an ass because you aren't happy with the results. Yes, I am damn cranky.


OOC: Hmmm! In ot--its sudden death unless ot rules have changed. Didn't say I wasn't happy with the result just the fact that my appeal wasn't heard. And I'm damn cranky myself.

ooc - ah, in this tournament it is as many overtimes as it takes to declare a winner (like the NHL) because I find sudden death ot slightly boring.

And trust me, I did run your sim with Inbreedia ten times (as I did with all matches to get fairness/normalcy in the numbers so when upsets happen it's cuz that's what happend throughout the sims) and Inbreedia beat Corneliu 7 of those times. No, I haven't a clue how or why (since I listed the same ranks for both teams each time) but that's the breaks I guess.

As for the re-do for Formal Dances...ok, next time? I'm making up a mythical land full of unicorns to ref because Vilita ruined everything! ;)

ooc - ah, in this tournament it is as many overtimes as it takes to declare a winner (like the NHL) because I find sudden death ot slightly boring.

And trust me, I did run your sim with Inbreedia ten times and Inbreedia beat Corneliu 7 of those times. No, I haven't a clue how or why (since I listed the same ranks for both teams each time) but that's the breaks I guess.

As for the re-do for Formal Dances...ok, next time? I'm making up a mythical land full of unicorns to ref because Vilita ruined everything! ;)

Boring? first to score wins! Can we run a sim to see what it would have been (not counting, just to see what it would have happened.)

Boring? first to score wins! Can we run a sim to see what it would have been (not counting, just to see what it would have happened.)

(Boring more in the sense of early. We like our hockey to take as long as necesarry hence 3 or more overtimes if need be)

In the just done sim for ya,

Hockey Canada 2 Fimble loving peoples 2 AET: 2:3

So for a sudden death overtime case you still lost.

CORNELIU SPORTS PAGE
Corneliu hammers Formal Dances! Declares war on Inbreedia, Chicanada and Vilitia

Our beloved hockey team takes out Formal Dances 3-0 in a redue game because of the Vilitia refs inability to due his duty.

"This is our second game that had improprities. Whoever the hell is picking these refs has got to learn to pick them that know the damn rules. We got hosed because of referees in the last game and now we nearly had another one snatched in this one."

In response to their loss to Inbreedia, Viceroy Thompson roared over the congressional floor about the outrage. "We have to go to respond to this outrage. This cannot go unpunished."

In response, the Congress of the Colony of Corneliu has issued a declaration of war against Vilita for their dumb referee, Inbreedia for cheating, and Chicanada for failing to uphold the rules of the game.ooc: having been offered several ways out of your initial foolish declaration of war, you have managed to avoid all of them, and have now decided to declare war on three nations over annoyance about the result of a hockey game.

It was my understanding that this thread was for hockey, and foolishness. There are dozens, if not hundreds, of other threads out there for war - and if that isn't enough you can start up a whole new one.

I request that you end this war immediately - I don't care how, just end it. Turn it into some kind of a joke, or fire the guy who declared it, or whatever. IC or OCC - just end it. If you want to play war, start one in another thread. If this thread is going to allow itself to be turned into just another stupid war thread, then I will be leaving.

This, by the way, is not a joke and is not meant to be humorous. Did that, and you ignored it and kept on with the war crap.

[ooc: Thanks VAR for your support...of sorts]

Anyways, to appease all and none at the same time

http://img72.exs.cx/img72/6189/cherrycupxilogoproposal1sf.gif
Press Release

To: The Officials of Inbreedia, Corneliu, Euroslavia and Formal Dances
From Jaquelyn Moriseete, Cherry Cup XI Chancelor
RE: Relegation

Due to inconclusive evidence concering a goal scored by Inbreedia in the first period against Corneliu, the Cherry Cup Directorship has elected to rehold all matches involving both parties effective immediately.

This means that in Eastentown, the following matches will happen throughout the night in order to maintain the current schedule.

Corneliu v Inbreedia

Euroslavia v winner
Formal Dances v loser

We apologize to all parties for this inconvience and hope that this re...re-do will finally settle all results to the betterment of the tournament.

Thank you for your time and patience.

Jaquee

Jaquelyn Moriseete
Cherry Cup XI Chancelor
----------

Jaquee sighed as she finished up the press release. She was not interested in restaging three games to appease anyone but President DuMaier threatened to place the entire CCXI Team in front of a grand jury due to the shenanegans. She was forced to resign herself to dealing with three matches in the evening in order to make one team happy while irritating two teams and forcing a fourth team into their third match to decide whether or not they would play for 25th or 27th. No one thought it was fair to Euroslavia, Formal Dances or Inbreedia that Corneliu continued to complain about a goal when all pictures of the match showed the ice chunk hitting the puck before the Inbreedia player swung, and that was technically legal.

If this lets me get a few minutes of peace she thought maybe it's worth it. She turned to her associate who sat with a bemused grin to see the Head of the Tourney being forced to change results due to bickering and threats.

I will posts the results of the Corneliu/Inbreedia rematch shortly. If Inbreedia wins again, the remaining standing are in place. If Corneliu, then the bracket matches will be posted as well.

Vilita Rejects War Proposal

==============The Vilitan government has officially rejected the proposal from Corneliu for a declaration war between the two nations.

==============While the Vilitan government acknowledges that the actions of said referee were regretable and he should not be considered for refereeing such high profile matches in the future, they do not feel a declaration of war or further action against the referee should be required as the matches have been declared null and void due to a previous disagreement between the nations of Corneliu and Inbreedia.

==============The Vilitan government would also like to voice its support against the re-playing of the matches between Corneliu and Inbreedia, citing an extreme disrespect for the authority of tournament hosts resulting in the termination of competition of said nation, Corneliu. However, should the matches go forward, Vilitan referees will be available to cover the events.

Vilita Rejects War Proposal

==============The Vilitan government has officially rejected the proposal from Corneliu for a declaration war between the two nations.

==============While the Vilitan government acknowledges that the actions of said referee were regretable and he should not be considered for refereeing such high profile matches in the future, they do not feel a declaration of war or further action against the referee should be required as the matches have been declared null and void due to a previous disagreement between the nations of Corneliu and Inbreedia.

==============The Vilitan government would also like to voice its support against the re-playing of the matches between Corneliu and Inbreedia, citing an extreme disrespect for the authority of tournament hosts resulting in the termination of competition of said nation, Corneliu. However, should the matches go forward, Vilitan referees will be available to cover the events.

OOC: Since when did a war declaration require the consent of both nations? If I really wanted too, I could attack you without warning.

ooc: Hosting these things is a thankless task, sadly. Chicanada, you are doing a wonderful job. You have no obligation to replay anything.

As to in-character declarations of war: they can be ignored, or they can be turned into jokes. Some Cups back, Kalaallit Nunaat declared war on Iansisle, who responded with weapons of mass punnery. I rather enjoy that rivalry now. Almost anything goes, if it's done with humour and good naturedly and with the mutual consent of both parties. If the other party doesn't want to play along, then just drop it and move on to something else.

Now, off to think of a convincing way to gloat at VAR!

yuck

OOC: Pardon my brother. He is a bit insane today for somereason. If anything, I should be in a rotten mood. My bf broke up with me today :'(

OOC: Pardon my brother. He is a bit insane today for somereason. If anything, I should be in a rotten mood. My bf broke up with me today :'(

Sorry to hear that FD. And thanks Tanah!

As for the rematch(es)...ok, I'm sort of waiting to get a larger consensus before I post them or just drop that whole idea, let the original results stand and move on. And I've already spoke my mind about Chicanada not playing war games.[/ot]

Um...yay Chicanada for sweeping Stumperia! Yes, barely on topic :p

Don't worry about it. I was only trying to livin' up the joint. My apologies to all.

Sorry to hear that FD. And thanks Tanah!

As for the rematch(es)...ok, I'm sort of waiting to get a larger consensus before I post them or just drop that whole idea, let the original results stand and move on. And I've already spoke my mind about Chicanada not playing war games.[/ot]

Um...yay Chicanada for sweeping Stumperia! Yes, barely on topic :p

Thanks!

Corneliu Embassy, Chicanada

The ambassador hears a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" Grumbled the aging diplomat as he answers his door....

And is greeted by a band of smelly rednecks. In fact, it was the Inbreedite National Hockey Team, and all of them looked drunk and angry.

They were also armed with double barrelled shotguns, except one ugly, skinny little Jethro who was twanging away with a banjo.

"Are you's here thee Am-bassa... door of Corneliu?"

The nervous old man nodded.

"We's here hears youse be wantin' ta take our here small nation fo' conquest. We's don't like that."

The leader of the group cocked his shotgun, while a brutish defenseman giggled. The scrawny lad plucked a few strings on his banjo, imitating the best he could the chord used in 'Deliverance'.

A growing wet stain spreads over Corneliu's Ambassador's pants.

"We's here on behoof of our here government, we's here gunna take this here war declaration and shuve it up your arse. You'se not like that... we's got other things to go up there."

The skinny banjo player strummed the 'Deliverance' song again just to make his point.

"You'se got that?"

The Corneliu ambassador nodded.

"Good. You'se pass that correspondance on." The big leader said as he patted the ambassador on the shoulder, "You'se tense. Relax a little!"

The hockey team laughed, shooting their shotguns into the air while holding off the Corneliu marines, hooting their rebel yells into the dead of the night. "HELL! We just lost to Euroslavia. We's coulda done somethin' stupid! YEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW."

Like the grey ghosts they were, Inbreedia left, leaving one shocked embassy, and the notes of 'Deliverance' in the wind.

Synthos advance to semi-finals for the 3rd straight time

It's that time again. That time that brings every Synthos fan to their feet. The Semi-Finals. Robotopolis has been to the semi-finals each time in their first three cups, losing to eventual Champions each time. They lost to Oliverry in Cherry Cup IX, and lost the 3rd place match to Iansisle. Again, in Cherry Cup X, The Synthos came into a match they thought they had won, and lost to the Iceburg of Kalaait Nunnant(sp?), but won the 3rd place match against the tema they face in this year's cup, Fimble loving peoples, who also played in the same division as the Synthos. The Synthos also enter these last two games with the #1 Seed, a ranking they had in Cherry Cup X's loss to a team they had defeated time after time, just like this cup.

Could this year be the same as the last two? The circumstances coming into this game are quite similar to last year's, But the Synthos faithful are certain that the Synthos will go on to the finals, and maybe win it all.

In other news, War was declared, and then it wasn't.

http://img72.exs.cx/img72/6189/cherrycupxilogoproposal1sf.gif
Press Release

To: The Officials of Inbreedia, Corneliu, Euroslavia and Formal Dances
From Jaquelyn Moriseete, Cherry Cup XI Chancelor
RE: Relegation

Please ignore previous correspondence. Everything appears to be worked out on the international level.

Jaquee

Jaquelyn Moriseete
Cherry Cup XI Chancelor
----------

Yeah, no re-done matches. Apologies from Corneliu accepted.

Now, how about some foolish revelry and whatnot? :p

It would have been rude to eat rabbit after the win, which was unfortunate as rabbit was a staple of the diet in some parts of Tanah Burung (especially the dank, spider-infested, swampy bits). But for the sake of politesse, and the repose of their eternal souls, the Cassowaries eschewed Lapin au Framboise and kicked back on currieed chicken, noodles and of course the requisite Stout Lout to wash it all down. Stout Lout Raspberry Wheat Ale, it was. In fact, the coach sent a bottle express-post to the attention of one Otto Matic, with her personal complements. Well chilled, of course. Inscribed with the timeless traditional legend "Suck on This."

Party time: the Cassowaries were in the semi-finals. Another shut-out for Martina. A dramatic, dying-seconds empty-net goal by Tarantula, who was especially disappointed he was not allowed to eat the opposing players. The Arctic Hares tried to fore-check the great hairy beast, but he fought them off, grunting and swatting them with his stick as needed.

Tanah Burung 1, Very Angry Rabbits 0. A satisfying scoreline after a very close match, and sweet revenge for the last Cherry Cup.

"Those naughty bunnies," said Sister Hale Maria. "I hope they've learned their lesson now." Then she fell over. If we didn't know better what a sterling and pure character she was, we'd swear the woman was drunk out of her gourd.

A glance at the other side of the draw showed that it was either Vilita or uber-nemesis Starblaydia up next. The Rayzors, who had beaten Tanah Burung in the finals in both their Cherry Cups and then been rude enough to advance to another final in CC10 despite the careful efforts of the hosts (that would be us) to stack things against them.

Well, you can bet the dressing room party heated up even more with the news that Vilita had dunked the dwarvish nemeses. Vilita? Well, the Cassowaries have never played them before, as far as Sister Hale Maria can recall. She has no especially negative feelings about their country, and is relieved to discover they are probably human and appear to have no feelings one way or the other on the subject of fimbles.

In other news, Mau Slurp's odds are favouring the Unstoppable Synthos to win this Cup over Vilita. "Nuts to that," said Sister Hale Maria. "I bet one fimble on Squornshellous, i do. What? No, i'm as sober as a ju..."

The coach lost consciouness at that point. Draw a curtain, friends, and let her sleep.

Sing a song of sixpence, la la la la lie
Four and twenty wabbits, baked in a pie...

Yet another utterly informal newspaper report. *Cue groans of boredom*

Somehow, and I'll be buggered if I know how, FLP made it past Hockey Canada to progress once more to the semis. It was a startling match, with apparent controversy, as it took 3OTs for the blinding colours of FLP to win.

The official report to Hockey Canada after the victory, and knocking them out of yet another Cherry Cup is, and I quote, "Neh neh neh neh neh."

The semi-final match against Robotopolis will force a repeat of the group stage tactic which slowed them down. Players have been informed that if they must cower, they are to do it in the goalmouth.

(Random phrase indicating good will) to all!

Some Cups back, Kalaallit Nunaat declared war on Iansisle, who responded with weapons of mass punnery. I rather enjoy that rivalry now.

((Ah, Cherry Cup VI, one of my personal favorites! ..well, it would be if I hadn't gotten my rear end beaten into the ice save for that one glorious victory at Kalaallit Nunaat in the group stage. :) Wasn't that also the start of Squornshelous' infamous losing streak?))

In a dimly lit room...

"Are you sure you want to go through with this, Señor Langdone?" asked a shadowy man with a vague Castilian accent. Before him were spread a frightening array of needles, scalpels, and other surgical tools straight out of a nightmare or cheesy thriller.

"My team needs me," insisted Ashlee Langdone. "I'd do anything to help them - anything."

"But señor - have not the Gulls already lost?"

"No, no - they're on an alternate tier."

"What?"

"I don't really know either. I like the games where someone gives me a target and I go out and beat them until we win."

"Why go through with this extensive and dangerous plastic surgery if los Gulls have already lost? You may die and, if you live, not even your family will recognize you."

"That's what I plan, Doctor," said Langdone, setting his jaw and staring at the dirty ceiling. "Not even the pigs."

"Would you at least like me to replace your teeth while I'm in there?"

"No, no - those aren't gaping holes to be plugged by your witchcraft; they're badges of honor won on the glorious icy battlefield."

"I see," replied the doctor, fingering a needle.

"Well, cut me already," said Langdone. "The sooner I can get back to playing international hockey for my beloved fatherland, the better."

And here the scene fades out amid lightning and harpsichord music.

"...for freezing her boobs in a block of ice as a protest over the recent coup attempt in Krechzianko. That's it for the news bulletin, you're watching KBC News, over now to the sports desk."

"Thank you, Kieran, our top sports news today is, of course, Cherry Cup XI.Team Kelssek coach Greg Gilbert has been temporarily suspended from his job by the Kelssek Hockey Association, which cited "desperate insanity" as the reason. Assistant coach Boris Yeltsin will take over his duties for the 15th-place playoff against Liverpool England.

This comes after Gilbert, reasoning that throughout Cherry Cup XI, the Blueleafs have never conceded an empty-net goal, a streak which continued in their 1-0 loss to Iansisle, said he would play the entirety of the next game without a goalie."

How far is too far with a Cassowary?

Vilitan officials have questioned the sanity of the Tanah Burung Ice Hockey team after they recently received photographs from an unnamed photo taking person who happened to catch a glimpse of one of the leaders of Tanah Burung doing "bad things" with a cassowary. To protect the eyes of the youngest of viewers, only a picture from just prior to the "moments of action" will be shown in this press release, but, by the way these two are looking at each other, I don't think it takes much imagination to see what happened next.

http://www.rainforest-australia.com/cassowar.jpg

It is not known whether the cassowary made it out without injury, but it is not believed at this time that any serious harm came to the animal. While the Vilitan people respect the respect the usually respectful people of Tanah Burung show, with respect, to the cassowary, and other similar animals native to the similar biomes shared by the creature and the creatures it surrounds, they would like further explanation as to the nature of this visit by the most supreme of Tanah Burungians at the least opportune time.

Hapless Harlesburg Hammered
Once again Harlesburg lose a game.............

Reporter gets shot for being part of the conspiracy against Harlesburg Hockey more purges in the streets..................................................

Apparently HArlesburg has another game theyve done better than expected for first timers but someone must pay!

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Cherry Cup XI - Matchday 10 Results

Knockout Semifinals
Vilita 0 Tanah Burung 1
Robotopolis 3 Fimble loving peoples 0
Starblaydia 2 Hockey Canada 1 OT
Very Angry Rabbits 2 Sjwitz 0

9th Place
Squornshelous 0 South Ossetia 1

11th Place
Harlesburg 2 Kalaalit Nunaat 1 OT

13th Place
Iansisle 2 Oliverry 1

15th Place
Kelssek 0 Liverpool England 1

Relegation Semifinals
Euroslavia 1 Kericia 0
Chicanada 0 Lovisa 1

Relegation Consolation Semifinals
Inbreedia 3 Druida 2 OT
Stumperia 5 The Gulf States 4

25th Place
Corneliu 2 Hisam 1

27th Place
Formal Dances 3 Tonissa 0

Official Schedule for Knockout/Relegation Rounds: (subject to change)

Friday
Relegation Finals - Eastentown
17th Place: Euroslavia v Lovisa
19th Place: Chicanada v Kericia
21st Place: Inbreedia v Stumperia
23rd Place: Druida v The Gulf States

5th Place and 7th Place Finals - Mogada
5th Place: Starblaydia v Very Angry Rabbits
7th Place: Hockey Canada v Sjwitz

Saturday
Grand Finals - Mogada
1st Place: Tanah Burung v Robotopolis
3rd Place: Vilita v Fimble loving peoples
---------------------------

posted - aw, you know where it's posted. read on.

Guys! Great! Well done, each and every hare among you! To coin a phrase, victory is sjwitz. Ok - so it's a phrase that shouldn't have been coined.

I've word from home that His Hareness Peter XXXVIII is very pleased with your victory over Sjwitz. He can't say it (who can? I mean, how the heck is that pronounced?), but he's very happy with our performance.

Well...there was some mumbling about "Cassowary this" and "Cassowary that", but our good friend Harvey pointed out to The Old Grey Hare that Tanah Burung is about to play for the championship.

It was at this point in writing his note to the team that Otto kept trying to find a way to say that it was no disgrace to lose to a team that was going to wind up as Champion, or in 2nd place at the very least. There was no way, however, to say that it was no disgrace to lose to the Cassowaries. Any way you slice it (sliced Cassowary? Hmmm...) a loss to the Cassowaries is a disgrace, so Otto finally decided to leave this bit out.

His Hareness want's to extend his congratulations to you all, and wish you well in the game against Starblaydia for 5th place.

See - didn't I tell you if we just played our best, we might get another shot at Starblaydia? Make it count, boys...make it count.

Otto

A hammering for FLP. Possibly an actual hammer involved.

FLP went in to the game against Robotopolis expecting to lose, as they always seem to, but thought they had formed a strategy which could help them as it had held the mechanical ones to a stalemate in the group stages.

The plan revolved around a basis of each FLP being stood in the way of the goal. It slows down chances for offensive moves, prevents them completely infact, but the team figured they could work their way around this small fact.

However Robotopolis still managed to get 3 shots passed the human wall and claim a significant victory.

The next match pits the team against the Vilitians, and they shall give it their all whilst expecting a sound beating from their more experienced opposition.

INBREEDIA POUNDS DIVISION RIVALS DRUIDA

Two Out of Three Ain't Bad! Facing Final Match Against Stumperia

Eastentown, Chicanada - The Inbreedia National Hockey Team has found itself in another match against Druida after their close loss to Euroslavia the day before.

But this time, Inbreedia was ready for the division rivals, whom they won once and tied again during the divisional round robin. Inbreedia was hungry for a win, and still primed up after a detour to the Corneliu Embassy in order to send an unofficial protest to Corneliu's declaration of war. Though Inbreedia was in high, inpetuous spirits, they still had to battle in overtime against Druida who still smarted from the bench draining free for all fistfight from their previous 0-0 split.

Inbreedia's offense was surprisingly co-ordinated and diciplined in this round. THey were starting to use tactics and maneouvers learned from the other teams they played, and the improvements showed in the scoreboard. Inbreedia led 2-0 in the first period, with goals scored by Porkie Robinson and Willie 'No Tooth' Marshall.

In the second period, Druida fought back with amazing ferocity, but Inbreedia held their ground. It was in the third period that Druida's tenacity finally paid off, scoring on the wraparound and squeezing between Jethro Sharpton's pad and the goalpost. At the end of the third period on a powerplay that saw a Druida defenseman being pounded to slag by Inbreedia's Porkie Robinson while the crowds cheered for more blood, Druida's offense finally brought a puck off the high shelf and past Sharpton's glove. The end of the third period tied the game off, and Inbreedia still had a man in the penalty box.

The true heroes of this game was Inbreedia's penalty killing team. Armed with lots of practice from Inbreedia's unruly play, the penalty killing team stopped the Druida onslaught. When the penalty was up, Druida poorly executed a line change, not catching Kentucket State product Pat O'Possum speeding towards the goal. A quick pass and a wrist shot, and the puck went over the Druida goalie's blocker, ending the heated matchup.

There was no post celebration/post loss fighting to be had. Both teams shook hands and acknowledged each other's skills. When questioned, Defenseman Porkie Robinson replied, "We's got ourselves here a bran-knew rival! YEEEHAW!"

Now Inbreedia has to face the troublesome and imposing Stumperia National Team. Both skilled and strong, Stumperia's cavemen are more brutish than Inbreedia's genetically tainted stock, so it is yet to be seen who will be the smarter team.

Cassowaries advance to Cup final in very dull headline

João's second-period goal stood up as Tanah Burung took a 1-0 win over a strong Vilitan side, in another defensive battle. Martina blocked 35 shots in recording yet another shut-out, including three shots with the Vilitan net empty to prevent an over-time.

Play started tentatively as the Cassowaries tested a team they have never played before. Then in the dressing room after the first period, Coach Hale Maria passed the players news of a desperate Vilitan attempt to psych them out by linking one of the Burungi collective presidency to sexual relations with a flightless bird.

"Anyone can see that the photo is of a Vilitan hausfrau," Sister Maria said. "Also, that is very clearly a stuffed cassowary. And finally, the marriage laws of my country have nothing to say on the subject of unions between humans and avians. I'm not amrried myself, but just last month my brother amrried an almond bush. almonds grow on bushes, right?"

The thoroughly irked Cassowaries came out in force in the second period and took control of the surface.

The victory means Tanah Burung will play in its fourth Cherry Cup final, where it is certain to be defeated, as usual, by Starblaydia.

"What do you mean it's not Starblaydia?" Sister Maria said, her mouth gaping open in shock. "Well, defeated by Robotopolis then."

Of course, there's always a chance that Tanah Burung will win and claim its second Cherry Cup. But oddsmakers favour the high-ranked Unstoppable Synthos to hoist their first Cup, now that they have finally managed to advance past the semi-finals. Sister Maria is offering fans roasry beads to throw at the Synthos. Maybe they'll jam up their air vents, or something.

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Cherry Cup XI - Matchday 11 Results

5th Place
Starblaydia 10 Very Angry Rabbits 9 OT

7th Place
Hockey Canada 4 Sjwitz 1

17th Place
Euroslavia 0 Lovisa 3

19th Place
Chicanada 1 Kericia 2

21st Place
Inbreedia 1 Stumperia 0

23rd Place
Druida 0 The Gulf States 4

Official Schedule

Saturday
Grand Finals - Mogada
1st Place: Tanah Burung v Robotopolis
3rd Place: Vilita v Fimble loving peoples
---------------------------

Rankings:

01.
02.
03.
04.
05. Starblaydia
06. Very Angry Rabbits
07. Hockey Canada
08. Sjwitz
09. South Ossetia
10. Squornshelous
11. Harlesburg
12. Kalaalit Nunaat
13. Iansisle
14. Oliverry
15. Liverpool England
16. Kelssek
17. Lovisa
18. Euroslavia
19. Kericia
20. Chicanada
21. Inbreedia
22. Stumperia
23. The Gulf States
24. Druida
25. Corneliu
26. Hisam
27. Formal Dances
28. Tonissa
29. Fmjphoenix

"Ar want Robotopologolopospis ta win, laddie," Caoch Haztarr said in a press conference after the Rayzors' marathon 10-9 win over the Vewy Angwy Wabbits in the 5th-Place Play-off. "We cannae have two teams wit two Cherry Coops t'their names, now can we?"

Rematch

Vilita will face the Fimble Loving Peoples, who got their start against Vilita in a very interesting group a few cups back. Vilita will be rampant after a tough loss by the lone goal against Tanah Burung that kept the Ice Cats out of their first Cherry Cup final. And no, it wasn't a stuffed Casowary! We Swear!

CORNELIU SPORTS PAGES
Corneliu defeats Hisam 2-1

In an agressive match that saw overwhelming amount of penalties on Corneliu, the Penquins still wins the game 2-1! The winning goal came on a shorthanded breakaway goal as the Hisam was caught in a line change.

"Though we aren't happy, we are glad that we managed to win this game." the coach stated. "Watch for us to have a better showing in CC12"

There are a large number of people in Mogada, Chicanada today (roughly equal to the number who attended last nights match-up on ice between Starblaydia and Very Angry Rabbits) who have been going around all day involuntarily ducking every few minutes.

You would be, too, if you'd had to endure what they went through last night. That puck (or, more accurately, those pucks - quite a number went missing) was in the air for about 95% of the game, and only about half of that over the ice. For the rest - well, those that were proficient at getting out of the way are on the streets today with the involuntary ducking thing. Those who were - slower, shall we say - and there were quite a few - are occupying hospital beds and emergency room chairs. The price of bandaging materials was forced up by the market demand.

10 to 9. Good grief, that's a baseball score! And extra innings, at that. Well, it was an overtime win for the Rayzors. And they earned it - they earned it. Their goalie snatched that shot in the final second right out of the air - and it was headed into the net - instant replay verified that. Over, and over, and over, and over again. As the Artic Hares stood stock still on the ice, watching that replay on the overhead screen...over, and over, and over, and over again.

They were sad rabbits that left the rink last night. Two big loses in a row - first to the despicable Cassowaries, and now to the hated 'Bladian Rayzors (Rayzors of 'Bladia? Rayzor Blades?). Oh, how sad they were. And, let's not kid ourselves, formost in their minds were thoughts of...Hassenpfeffer...

The Old Grey Hare does not take kindly to losing teams. He does not take kindly to losing tournaments. He does not take kindly to losing anything. Well, there was the time his brother, Ruppert the Incompetent, Prince of Edgeburrow and the Far Marches, was lost. That he didn't mind so much. But, in general, you don't want to be responsible for any loss attached to the Very Angry Rabbit name that His Hareness becomes aware of.

And so, it was with little or no surprise that Harvey discovered, in the office of the Director of Operations for the Artic Hares, in lieu of Otto Matic, an empty fluffy furry whitish lump, with long ears, that appeared to be a...a rabbit suit?

Once again, Otto seems to have gone on an unscheduled sabbatical.

Leander Fosworth, who serves (as he has for years) as Harvey's valet (a real rabbits' rabbit is Lee), stood just outside the empty office, waiting for Harvey. Harv took his time, but found nothing else of real interest. Leander queried him as he came out.

"Sir, just who is the Director of Operations of this...this little sporting club? And whatever is it that makes him disappear at critical times such as this?"

"It's Otto Matic, Lee".

You, dear reader, can take that any way you choose. I choose to ignore it.

(OOC: Nice, VAR, but we've never been the 'Blades... Rayzors, they are through and through.)

(OOC: Nice, VAR, but we've never been the 'Blades... Rayzors, they are through and through.)

ooc: Don't listen to him! They are the Blades!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh...uh..."ooc":

Rayzor blades...? :headbang:

I stand (sit, whatever) corrected. And, aplogize. It shall be remedied ;)

Remedy now in place. :cool:

WALTZ CITY PAPER--SPORTS SECTION
Formal Dances waltzes past Tonissa

Formal Dances defeats their final opponet in a cake walk. The final was 3-0 with all three goals scored by Captain Rachel Robertson.

"Its a thrill to get a hat trick at these games. I am just glad that I managed to pull it off. I thank God for this opportunity."

"This tournament was a good learning experience for our club! We'll definitely build upon it for next season."

Formal Dances finished in a respectable 27th place. Some may not call it respectable but since this was our first internatinal competition, it is. Stay tuned as the Waltzers gear up for Cherry Cup XII.

The streak is over! Synthos advance to Finals!

The Synthos fans in the stand were going absolutely crazy as the last seconds ticked off the clock in the 3rd peroid, sending the Synthos to the first Finals game in their 3-cup history. After disappointing losses to eventual champions in the last two, It was a great relief as the Synthos destroyed the Fimble lovin' peoples 3-0.

Quickly after the first face-off, which center Shadow Man easily won, the fimbles retreated to their own goal and huddled infront of it, forming a human wall. Head Coach Dr. Wily recognized it as the same tactic that held the Synthos to a scoreless draw in the last Synthos vs. FLP match. But by this time, he had already figured out how to combat this. He called over star defenseman Napalm Man, and whispered something in his ear. This apparently enraged him, as he skated furiously towards the Fimble goal, stoped infront of them, and opened his missle ports. Concussive missles fired out of his head, hands, shoulders, knees, and chest, sending each player on the team high into the air. It was raining Fimbles as Left Wingsman Elec Man tapped in the easy open-net goal.

Of course, firing his entire payload took alot out of Napalm Man, and he went backto his end of the ice to rest and reload. After the FLP Team stopped blacking out, they went back to their defense, as the Synthos waited for Napalm Man to recover. And then the period ended.

This happened twice more, once in each period, So Dr. Wily stoped concentrating on this game and started planning for the Finals against the Cherry Cup X hosts, Tanah Burung, who have put out a surprisingly strong performance.

And so the seconds ticked away, and the buzzer sounded. The Synthos were heading to the Finals, looking for their first Cherry Cup.

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Cherry Cup XI - Grand Finals

3rd Place
Vilita 0 Fimble loving peoples 1

1st Place
Tanah Burung 0 Robotopolis 1

Congratulations to the Synthos of Robotopolis on their first Cherry Cup Victory!

Rankings for Cherry Cup XII:

01. Robotopolis
02. Tanah Burung
03. Fimble loving peoples
04. Vilita
05. Starblaydia
06. Very Angry Rabbits
07. Hockey Canada
08. Sjwitz
09. South Ossetia
10. Squornshelous
11. Harlesburg
12. Kalaalit Nunaat
13. Iansisle
14. Oliverry
15. Liverpool England
16. Kelssek
17. Lovisa
18. Euroslavia
19. Kericia
20. Chicanada
21. Inbreedia
22. Stumperia
23. The Gulf States
24. Druida
25. Corneliu
26. Hisam
27. Formal Dances
28. Tonissa
29. Fmjphoenix

3rd place again. Good enough.

FLP flukily beat a strong Vilitan side to claim 3rd in CCXI. Completely outmatched for the entire competition, they were lucky to score late in the second period.

It was almost taken for granted that the veterans would come out on top, but somehow that didn't happen. They had the lions share of chances and were unlucky not to claim the win.

Meanwhile, I get a few weeks off. Later, I'm off back to Tanah Burung whilst I wait for the next competition.

Oliverry 14th, OHA sings "Na, na, na, hey, hey, hey, good bye" to the coach

Yes, the coach has been fired yesterday after that the Oliverrian Hockey Association declared that the coach didn't do his job properly in this tournament. The new coach will be Roger Dubois, the coach of the Marshalliston Capitals from the Independant Hockey League in Oliverry.