NationStates Jolt Archive

Mau Slurp's House of Gamblng presents: Cherry Cup X betting!

Fancy the Quebec connection to repeat as champs? Want to strike it rich with a bet on long-shot Squornshelous? Think that this is finally Greenland's year? Just looking for a way to pass the time while you wait at Tiga Burung airport to fund out which heat-soaked city you'll be playing in? Come on in to the air-conditioned comfort of Mau Slurp's House of Gambling and place a bet on your fave to win.

House odds will change, but here are Mau Slurp's opening numbers:

Oliverry 2-1
The defending champion looks strong: a good bet to be the first team to repeat as champs.

Starblaydia 3-2
Two-time champs, the Rayzors were knocked out by Oliverry last time and can never be counted out. Especially given their threat to win. May be hampered by hostile crowds, having won both their previous Cups by defeating Tanah Burung. (In other words, we hateses thems. Damn them and their consistent excellence.)

Fimble Loving Peoples 3-1
A sensation last time out, threatening to rocket to another strong performance. Have received impramatur of Susan Aglukark, Queen of tourney founder Kalaallit Nunaat.

Iansisle 3-2
The Gulls regard winning as their birthright and aren’t afraid to knock a few heads to get there. Or even worse, pun their way to victory. No, don't say anything, it will only encourage them.

Robotopolis 3-1
Rookie of the year in CC9, and still looking strong. Their threat to win, coming from high-tech creations, has to be taken seriously.

Vilita 4-1
The only team to go undefeated in CC9 group stages. Relentless in all things, possibly including hockey.

Tanah Burung 4-1
Shorter odds than the erratic Cassowaries deserve, but they’re bouyed by an ethusiatic (albeit almost entirely ignorant of hockey) fan base and some “really good steroids, man.”

Liverpool England 5-1
Hiraan 5-1
Hockey Canada 5-1
All these teams have played strongly in the past, but never quite managed to reach the top ranks. All are hoping to change it, and scouting reports say they have a chance to do just that. Hockey Canada is brought up into the company of the veterans through incessant flattery, which some find chamring and others are trying to ignore. (But if you make it bribery...)

Sjwitz 8-1
South Osettia 8-1
Very Angry Rabbits 8-1
Cockbill Street 8-1
Hisam 8-1
Sarzonia 8-1
Lovisa 8-1
More returning teams who have shown potential, but failed to reach later rounds in previous Cups. Our scouts report that none can be counted out. Our scouts are running out of things to say, though.

Kalaallit Nunaat 10-1
Tough-talking bullies who fold up like a house of cards when the pressure is on. The Cup’s founders are also its chief chokers, once top-ranked but never winners, and now a shadow of their former selves. Yes, we said it out loud. Do yer worst, Suzie A.

Oaker 15-1
Druida 15-1
Corneliu 15-1
Euroslavia 15-1
South Osettia 15-1
Chicanada 15-1
Nargopia 15-1
Bweezystan 15-1
Redundancia 15-1
Saskatoon Saskatchawan 15-1
Fmjphoenix 15-1
Rookies. What can we say? There just weren’t enough scouts to tell us anything about them. one tip: the region of Canada is here in force, and may surprise.

Squornshelous 20-1
These former hosts have taken up the onetime Cassowary mantle of beign the worst team in all of hockey. Dead last in CC9, and not showing much signs of leaving the basement. Maybe for that reason, a sentimental favourite in parts of Tanah Burung.

A Corneliuan Fan walks in and looks around. He spots the gambling area and walks over. He looks over the odds.

"I will place 100 Sazlis that Corneliu wins it" he stated.

The Iansislean National Assembly has invested the entire GNP of Iansisle and all her colonies on the Gulls to win everything, finally making the economy completely dependent on the national hockey team.

Provider Two also bets thirty quatloos on Squornshelous, hoping for the big payoff.

The Iansislean National Assembly has invested the entire GNP of Iansisle and all her colonies on the Gulls to win everything, finally making the economy completely dependent on the national hockey team.

Provider Two also bets thirty quatloos on Squornshelous, hoping for the big payoff.

Now here's a suicide bet if I ever heard one.

Yeah, I know. Squornshelous will never win. :p;)

Now here's a suicide bet if I ever heard one.

"Har!" The shout came from a small, rotund, bearded figure with a large coat with upturned collar, all the better to conceal his purple-coloured training top beneath. "Thirty quatloos on t'shellans? Ye 've goat tae be kiddin me."

He walks over to the counter and places his betting slip on the surface. It's above his eyline, but he's done this kind of thing before. The teller looks down at the paper.

1,500 Credits on Starblaydia to win. Or else, ye bastid.

Hockey Canada will flatter our way to the championchips.

2:1 odds on Vilita meeting up with Iansisle and the outcome being interesting.

Large sums of FLP money have been placed on various nations, especially Starblaydia.

However not one single FLP fan has bet on their home nation to take it. It is assumed, as always, that they shall fail badly, and the constant drinking is not likely to help.

...the constant drinking is not likely to help.

It helps our dwarves, you should try it sometime! When you fall over while drunk, it doesnt hurt! Imagine having that power on a hockey rink?

Been put through the glass? No problem! Get up, have another brew and get on with it.

Euroslavia has a few plans up its sleeve to shock and suprise the rest of the Cherry Cup community. However, we suspect Starblaydia will win this one. It'd be nice to go up against them in the finals though. ;)

Starblaydia 3-2: we hateses thems. Damn them and their consistent excellence.
we suspect Starblaydia will win this one
Large sums of FLP money have been placed on various nations, especially Starblaydia.

Only the patriotic fools are betting against the statistics, :D

And the threat of a sharp axe in the middle of your back, of course.

"Har!" The shout came from a small, rotund, bearded figure with a large coat with upturned collar, all the better to conceal his purple-coloured training top beneath. "Thirty quatloos on t'shellans? Ye 've goat tae be kiddin me."

He walks over to the counter and places his betting slip on the surface. It's above his eyline, but he's done this kind of thing before. The teller looks down at the paper.

The person sitting at the betting table looks at the Starblaydia person. He stars at the dwarf and writes something down on a notebook.

"I would love to chat more my friends but I have to make a phone call."

He walks over, not to the phones, but to the computer. After calling up the proper website, he sends a coded messege.

To: Host Nation
investigate Starblaydia for illegal gambling

Then he heads over to the phone and called his wife to let her know that he did arrive safely.

Rest assured, the players of all nations whose citizens are betting on Starblaydia have been targeted by Ashlee Langdone and his elite squad of on-ice hitmen, who will promptly remove whatever teeth they have remaining.

'sides, everyone knows dwarves can't play hockey. That's like letting women play or something. :p

((kidding of course, HC ;)))

I have an idea! You all bet on Hockey Canada, throw the tournement so we can win, than everyone gets tons of money! Everyone is a winner!

(BTW, can we at least have 4-1 odds? We've become somewhat a threat, like a speedbump, sorta like Belarus)

Only the patriotic fools are betting against the statistics, :D

And the threat of a sharp axe in the middle of your back, of course.

Well, with FLP fans it's more a case that someone has to win, and their birthright of pessimism ensures they don't think it shall be their home nation.

Well, with FLP fans it's more a case that someone has to win, and their birthright of pessimism ensures they don't think it shall be their home nation.

Too many quotes!

Yay! Sometimes Deadly! yay!

Question... what is the highest there is? (new member, member, sometimes deadly, deadly, very deadly, etc;)

Too many quotes!

Yay! Sometimes Deadly! yay!

Question... what is the highest there is? (new member, member, sometimes deadly, deadly, very deadly, etc;)

After that it goes Spambot, Uber Spam Girl, and Iansisle. ;)

Mau Slurp is pleased to accept all bets, and notes that he now potentially has control of the economy of an entire country.

Meanwhile, a small boy wanders into the betting shop. "One fimble on Squornshelous, please."

I (myself in RL) walk into the shop, writing a cheque for $2,000,000 on Hockey Canada to win it all. Finishing with $10,000,000 won't be a bad haul. Besides, you're all going to give into my flattery.

Meanwhile, a small boy wanders into the betting shop. "One fimble on Squornshelous, please."

But how will he get home? :(

I shall give this child a free fimble, courtesy of the great nation of FLP. Long live pointless inventions.

After that it goes Spambot, Uber Spam Girl, and Iansisle. ;)

You know you love my loquacity, dear. ;)

And can I get me one of those fimbles?

And can I get me one of those fimbles?

Everyone can have a fimble, assuming you don't mind vehicles which can't turn..........

After that it goes Spambot, Uber Spam Girl, and Iansisle. ;)

Mau Slurp is pleased to accept all bets, and notes that he now potentially has control of the economy of an entire country.

Meanwhile, a small boy wanders into the betting shop. "One fimble on Squornshelous, please."

The woman who is spending $2,000,000 takes a look at the boy. "Don't waste what little money you have kid. Bet it on Hockey Canada, that's where the real winning is." She hands him a $50 bill before hitting the bar.

The woman who is spending $2,000,000 takes a look at the boy. "Don't waste what little money you have kid. Bet it on Hockey Canada, that's where the real winning is." She hands him a $50 bill before hitting the bar.

That kid is gonna get some drugs. Can see it in his eyes.

That kid is gonna get some drugs. Can see it in his eyes.

Nah, he's going after the Hockey Canadian coach. Just like that dwarf.

Nah, he's going after the Hockey Canadian coach. Just like that dwarf.

Hockey Canada has a coach?

Yeah, ask Starblaydia.

I'm just gonna put some extra money on HC to win..........

Follow by FLP's example kiddies.

Follow by FLP's example kiddies.

I think that is the first and last time ever children will be instructed to follow my example...........


Even though I'm a great role model. And I have restrained from actually actively trying to kill children...................recently. So I don't see the problem really.

OOC: HC: This is RP. Do avoid making RL references in RP. No "I in RL" crap. Yes?

The Liverpool England Ice Hockey Board would like to place a L£100k (US$174k) bet on us winning.

We put 10,000 kugra on Starblaydia to regain the title. We also put 50,000 kugra on Hockey Canada to go out in the first round.

We put 10,000 kugra on Starblaydia to regain the title.

"...In the markets, Starblaydi investors are selling off shares of their interests in Burungi Betting Companies. Rumours abound that large amounts of money are being placed on the Starblaydia Razyors to win the Burung-hosted Tenth Cherry Cup. With Starblaydia such favourites to take their record third title this tournament, Burungi Betting companies - and their investors - will be severely out of pocket when Starblaydia take the championship..."

We put 10,000 kugra on Starblaydia to regain the title. We also put 50,000 kugra on Hockey Canada to go out in the first round.

Don't lose your money that fast. 50,000 is a little low, go for 100,000. Then you'll cash in.

"...In the markets, Starblaydi investors are selling off shares of their interests in Burungi Betting Companies. Rumours abound that large amounts of money are being placed on the Starblaydia Razyors to win the Burung-hosted Tenth Cherry Cup. With Starblaydia such favourites to take their record third title this tournament, Burungi Betting companies - and their investors - will be severely out of pocket when Starblaydia take the championship..."

In a press conference today, gambling maven Mau Slurp denied rumours that his casino empire is backed by foreign investors, which would be in contravention of national laws banning foreign ownership of Burungi enterprise. "Stock market? Never hoid of tha dame," he said.

In the poorly-named Insider Trading Lounge of the Gnome Building, centre of Slurp Investments, though, there was consternation.

"All these bets in foreign currency, Mau, i'm not sure we can cover them," said Astrid Siswanti-Buffalo, head of accounts.

"Just shovel it all into loonies," Slurp replied. "The city can always handle a little more inflation."

"But Mau, the loonie isn't a freely convertible currency."

"Nonsense. The government guarantees the full convertability of the loonie!"

"Yes, but the loonie can only be converted into other loonies."

"What? Why wasn't i told? This is monstous. All right, just open accounts in all those other currencies and tell the betters it will be fine. I'm sure there will be more than enough to pay out, once i control the entire economy of Iansisle. If not, we'll pay out in fimbles. I mean, those people are just giving them away!"

"All right Mau, if you want to risk bankruptcy. Again. And what about the Starblaydi investors pulling out their capital?"

"Completely above-board Tanah Burung nationals who jsut happen to be of Starblaydia origin, you mean."

"Um, yes. What about them?"

"Screw 'em. We'll just have to pay some dwarves to throw a match or two. Never under-estimate dwarven avarice, my dear Astrid. Anyway, the divisions seem stacked enough against them." Mau Slurp exited, cackling gleefully.

(ooc: no, the divisions aren't stacked. Tough draw, though, sorry about that.)