NationStates Jolt Archive

After negotiations between a number of nations in the realm of Tykona have broken down, war seems unavoidable.
A car bomb was reported to have destroyed the stock exchange in Hamishton, and The Super Evil Empire has been widely blamed, although no official position has been reported.
This, as well as threats of Nuclear and Biological attacks upon Lenno and Hamishton, forces most nations to take sides.

Currently the sides are:

The Coalition
Lenno Bird
Monged Intellect
Hamishton
Twin Pentration

The Dark Alliance
The Super Evil Empire
Durka-Durkastan

Upon hearing of the car bombing in Hamishton, King Lenno put down his pint and called his Head of state into the throne room.
"Put all military on Red Alert. I think we may have a big problem. We can no longer hesitate, we have no super-weapons to counter the SEE's so I am afraid we have to make the first move. Mobilise the troops and give a statement to the press."

Hello.
I hope this will reach you before any more attacks of such an atrocious nature are commited in such a peaceful realm as ours.
My people are not afraid to sniper or even headbang .
But they are more concerned about the presence of agents working for the evil one in our midsts. These 'spies' are no more than about 3 ft tall and can adopt the guise of any one or anything.
We must fight back now before the problem escalates i advocate the use of gunge but moreso the use of one thing that Le Tom cannot comprehend and that is a bit of fluffle: !!

Therefore i have decided that we need a female 'fluffle' mistress to entrap le tom.
If you have any ideas please contact me at:
Here, this chatroom thingy
That is all.
Curse this damned war
Field Marshal Smythe

My intelligence sources report that The SEE has a great deal of nuclear weapons, which have been tested on neighboring countries, and a large amount of research into biological warfare.
I have also heard that if the war turns against him, he is even willing to use these weapons on his own cities to halt our advance.
Proceed with caution friends.

I suggest airstriking his launch facilities before he has time to arm his weapons.

Vigilance and Prosperity brothers.
King Lenno

Very well.
This is a most unprecedented move, attacking his own cities. I feel he is much more evil than i expected. We must start to make movements now.
An airstrike will be best followed by a ground attack on his personal quaters, i beleive he has leaft SEE and is now holed up in the Tora Bora Caves in Durka Durkastan.
How many troops are at your disposal?
I will release 1.5 million provisionaly with more to follow.

Solidarity and Peace
Field Marshall Smythe

I think we should not be so hasty to declare war on Durka-Durkastan.
I have had breif communications with him and he seems to be against war, almost afraid.
He may still return to the fold.
Let us not give up on those who stray from the path, they need guidence.
We could offer complete protection and offer to sell technology at reduced prices.
SEE has become extremely defensive and wants to recruit others from the realm.
He claims that we made the first offensive move.
This is not the image our alliance wishes to portray.
Would it be possible for you to announce that the statement you made to him concerning "our armies are on your beaches" and wanting to "rape his women" we in fact threats to try to force him into negotiations?
Mayhaps we were a little rash at first.
Remember: we are not the aggressor.

Very well,
A policy of appeasement seems ok, but a little weak. We are not the aggressors but we are not lilly livered walkovers. Were here to fight and to stay.
I will make contact, but no apologies. As for Durkastan i feel we should take his 'fear' as a double bluff and not be too confident of his lack of activity. Remain cautious, remain strong and we will remain in control.
Solidarity

We need a forward plan of action,
we need to make SEE understand we are not kidding around here, but he is not admiting to the car bomb attack.
We need proof.
We could look for "outside" help.
There must be a link between the SEE goverment and the terrorist group who are guilty of this heinious crime.
I am suprised that Durka-Durkastan does not feel that the killing of innocent civilians is unacceptable.

Very well.
I have done some research and it would appear that SEE is affiliated with many terrorist groups namely; The Peoples Front of Judea (PFJ), the Judean Peoples Front (JPF), the Front of Peoples Judea (FPJ) the Popular Front of Judea (PoFJ) and the Popular Peoples Front of Judea (PPFJ)

I also have a young chap Basil who will testify that SEE supplied the funds and the 1979 Ford Cortina used in the bast (classy terrorist!)

We must act now if we are too make any impact on SEE
Do you have any ideas or strategies?

As for Durkastan i say 'Poo to you Sir, With knobs on!
That is all.
Field Marshall Smythe

But will this evidence convince our peers?
Can it hold the alliance together at what could be a historic turning point?
SEE is trying to spread dissolution amongst our members.
If we strike without proving ourselves then we will appear heartless aggressors.
This is not the image of Lenno.
I have given many chances for peace but my calls go unanswered.

I demand that SEE makes an international statement describing its position.
If my demands go unanswered for 6 consectutive hours then we shall put more "physical" force into getting a response.

I repeat, SEE has until 5:20am to make a statement.

Maybe a bit later because thats a little early in the morning

********CNN**********
**Press Conference**

Today the Super evil empire gave a press conference to the world of Tykona totally unrelated to the recent events.

The super evil empire has officially started on the Big Sky space program. This program will make an effort in exploring space as far as the human mind can stretch. But there were some more contraversial points.

The super evil empire will get funding for there space exploration through advertising and sponsors. One major contract went to GunN'All, which is as we all know the biggest Arms Manufacturing company in the super evil empire's industry.

The super evil empire claims that these projects needed big companies to financially support them as the tax rate is already quite high and is already going to invest around 1Billion Cigarettes.

Big Sky is also claming that this space program will defend The super evil empire's country. Though details are kept secret, this doesn't come as a suprise after the recent threat from The Fiefdom of Hamishton to destroy the Super evil empire.

The Fiefdom of Hamishton has also been clasified as the 4th most corrupt Goverment country in the beautifull region of Tykona.

CNN's Totis Terarum report from Orbis , the capital of the Super evil empire.

After the SEE has repeatedly refused comment on terrorist activities widely blamed on them I feel it is time to act.
It also seems that they have invested heavily on what could be orbital weapons.
The nation of Lenno Bird also invested heavily in space exploration in the recent past, and a scout probe has been launched from our orbital research facility.
The report should be transmitted shortly to the Alpha Labs research facility.

King Lenno requests support from any nation, no matter what region.

*** CNN report ***
***************

CNN brings you this breaking news from the capital of SEE.
According to goverment officials, the Lenno Bird Ambassador has been arrested on charges of espionage after phone taps were alledgedly placed on the embassies phone lines.

King Lenno is reported to have said "This is impossible! I demand our right to diplomatic imunity until I see a scrap of evidence to support this case!"

The ambassador and un-named staff members were taken to a undisclosed facility early this morning after evidence suggesting that goverment documents concerning SEE's nuclear capabilities, the space program and connections with militia groups were being held at the embassy before being transmitted or otherwise sent to King Lenno.

In other news King Lenno sadly announced the loss of a highly expensive space craft due to a "technical error". Public are advised to look up at approximatly 11:32pm to see a free light show, courtesy of the Lenno Bird space program.

######WMD's used by LennoBird#########


Today at 11.32pm the Kingdom of LennoBird launched an attack on The super evil empire. What was to be a light show turned out to be an enormous light beam firing at specific military installations in the super evil empire.

Soon after that the super evil empire announced that it lost many of it's secret bases and highly placed generals. Though no names where given, President Le Tom said that this attack was vicious and a tragedy for the country. He also went on saying that this cannot go on. The super evil empire shall not surrender to a terrorist group that attacks with WMD's.

This is the second terrorit attack in a week after the car bomming in Hamishton main economic department.

It is now clear that the kingdom of LennoBird is even ready to attack it's own friends for economical reasons. As we all know the Kingdom of Lennobird hasn't got a great economy but Hamishton does.

The super evil empire asks the whole world to aknoledge this tragedy and asks everyone that is against terrorism to join him into this holy war.
The super evil empire also stated that this attack shall not got unpunished.

Soon enough after the conference. The super evil empire went on red alert.
Neighbouring countries reported a black cloud of b-52 bombers leaving the runways. it is estimated that 250.000 planes left the ground.

No official report was made though.

Looking at the radar screen, King Lenno saw the 250,000 B52 bombers launch, and laughed out loud.
With a sinister smile he pressed a transperent button that sent a electronic signal to a 5sq mile area, affecting all electronic equipment.
The B52 bombers stared in shock as all of their systems turned on and the bombs were released before they had left SEE teritory.
250,000 nuclear arms were detonated on SEE soil.
King Lenno sat back in the happy knowledge that spending millions on orbital research had not gone to waste, and expected he would be forced to use the Orbital Electronic Disturbance system again before the SEE backed down.

Espescially as the Kingdom of LennoBird has no WMD's, has never had any, or any real army at all. King Lenno has released all of its defence documents publicly and welcomes international visitors to its military bases.

King Lenno expresses the concern that the attack was an elaborate conspiracy, based on the fact that the SEE has already expressed the willing to use nuclear weapons on its own lands if it were invaded.

King Lenno would also like to express that the SEE is not his "friend" and no economical gain could be obtained from this alledged attack.

My allies have been threatened repeatedly with nuclear and biological weapons.

Vesperal Salutations,
My friends, enemies and tom. I am back and im bad, like Jackson but without the paedo bit.

I have been away on important business to see the old war commander Paul Weller sing instructions to me. And he said:
'Waking up from bad dreams and smoking cigarettes -
Cuddling a warm girl and smelling stale perfume -
A hot summers' day and sticky black tarmac -
Feeding ducks in the park and wishing you were faraway -

that's entertainment.'

I beleive this to mean we should be smoking the cigarettes of peace, find fat girls to cuddle who have bad taste in perfume, then on to the fight on sticky black tarmac and be back in time for tea and feeding the ducks.
Hurrah!

I trust that Bird and the coalition have been holding up well and SEE is not putting out his usual round of trite and rubbish to scare our people.

we must fight the good fight, stand up strong and listen to Paul Weller

'I could go on for hours and I probably will -
but I'd sooner put some joy back
In this town called malice. '

field Marshall Smythe (returned)

Unfortunatly, as many of you know, King Lenno has undergone a quite substanstial location alteration.
The Kingdom of Lenno has been moved approximatly 90 miles NEE.
This new location has terrible internet connections so I take my leave from the front line of battle, handing over control to Hamishton.

Fight on!

I shall return someday.....