Gay Ninjas
07-03-2005, 16:10
After countless protests and organised walk-outs by the Freedom To Frump movement, the Fashion Police Act- which requires the designation of a whole section of the police force to patrol the streets in search of people who look like they've just been caught in an explosion at Oxfam- has been repealed by the Gay Ninja senate. The Act, brought in after that dark time in history known as The Rise Of The Mullet, was passed several years ago amid much controversy, and resulted in several hundred arrests and convictions, including;
* Marvin Kemp, 35, arrested and charged for 'crimes against fashion' after being publically seen wearing a vertically-striped shirt with a patterned tie, (although in the offender's defence, both items were perfectly matched)
* Irva Lyck, 24, arrested and charged for 'blatant disregard of taste' after being caught wearing leggings in the street when she was clearly over the age of ten.
* Daisuke Koneko, a 14-stone, 42-year-old Ninja master, arrested for wearing a vertically-striped Ninja Suit which clearly did not complement his figure and made him look, according to the courts, 'washed out and unpretty'. Charges were later dropped when Daisuke went on a diet.
* Laura Saphe, 32, arrested and charged for 'crimes against fashion' after being spotted wearing a lime-green Puffa jacket with pink high-heeled shoes in a professional context.
* Jordan Mitsibushi, 28, arrested and charged for 'crimes against humanity' after being seen in public wearing white ankle socks with sandals. He was sentenced to a compulsory makeover, and a suspended term of ten years. The items in question were taken from him and destroyed.
The repeal of the Fashion Police act has sparked much debate in The Jinoistic States of Gay Ninjas, and many people fear it will encourage the rise of the Patterned Cardigan industry, which until four years ago was confined to the black market. Counterprotests have been organised, although only ten people attended the scheduled demonstration last Saturday because everyone else was 'having their nails done that day'.
* Marvin Kemp, 35, arrested and charged for 'crimes against fashion' after being publically seen wearing a vertically-striped shirt with a patterned tie, (although in the offender's defence, both items were perfectly matched)
* Irva Lyck, 24, arrested and charged for 'blatant disregard of taste' after being caught wearing leggings in the street when she was clearly over the age of ten.
* Daisuke Koneko, a 14-stone, 42-year-old Ninja master, arrested for wearing a vertically-striped Ninja Suit which clearly did not complement his figure and made him look, according to the courts, 'washed out and unpretty'. Charges were later dropped when Daisuke went on a diet.
* Laura Saphe, 32, arrested and charged for 'crimes against fashion' after being spotted wearing a lime-green Puffa jacket with pink high-heeled shoes in a professional context.
* Jordan Mitsibushi, 28, arrested and charged for 'crimes against humanity' after being seen in public wearing white ankle socks with sandals. He was sentenced to a compulsory makeover, and a suspended term of ten years. The items in question were taken from him and destroyed.
The repeal of the Fashion Police act has sparked much debate in The Jinoistic States of Gay Ninjas, and many people fear it will encourage the rise of the Patterned Cardigan industry, which until four years ago was confined to the black market. Counterprotests have been organised, although only ten people attended the scheduled demonstration last Saturday because everyone else was 'having their nails done that day'.