NationStates Jolt Archive

In a strange turn of events, I and all contries who support me declear war on those who don't support me.

Pledge you alliance or be crushed!!!

Simon Haymer
Head of State
Christac

You're a fool to go and openly look for war.

Grow up.

Get an army.

I, "Honest Pete" the duely elected Grand Marshal of the Fiefdom of Felonious Elves, under the supreme "first dibs" rule hearby claim legal rights to the following for the beforementioned war between the nation of Christac, his allies and/or his enemies:

The Fiefdom of Felonious Elves will be able to loot corpses as they see fit. Including (but not excluded) the removal of personal effects as well as organs, and human shoes which we reserve the right to give to a kind old cobbler at night so he can make his quota.

The Fiefdom of Felonious will have no responsibility of resuscitating anyone found on the battlefield beyond kicking them several times.

The Fiefdom of Felonious reserve the right to do a merry jig if and when the opportunity arises. Jigs suit us.

I accept and support these rights under one condition; the merry jig includes a right leg hop at least as high, if not higher than 1 foot.

You're a fool to go and openly look for war.

Grow up.

Get an army.

I have the right not to have an army, and would suggest that you bow down to me before you are forced to lay in front of me.

Do I make myself clear?

Simon Haymer
Head of State
Christac

Well I guess my country is safe, neither being for you or against you. I don't even know you.



Have a carrot.

There were definite limits to how far sanity could hold in the vast reaches of space. Parked in orbit over Terra, the Sol Fleet had no right to loose its sanity, some could argue. Of course, the Sol Fleet never lost its sanity, per se, since maybe it never had it in the first place. Either way, there may or may not have been a reason that three ships, each four times the length of a Nimitz aircraft carrier, dropped into the sky over Christac, along with their escorts. Maybe it was overkill, maybe not. Either way, they sat there, for no apparent reason, hulls shimmering slightly, ionized drive exhaust making a sort of glow around the three massive and scores of not so massive craft.

Aside from that, they dropped a lot of very large speakers, too large, comically large, perhaps.
"GET A LIFE!"
"LEARN HOW TO SPIEL!"
"NJOOKS AWAY!"
Blared from a kilometer above the heads of the people below. Insanity was a beautiful thing, perhaps, although it could be said that it was expensive, too.

So you declare war on me? For what purposes, if we may ask?

Also, this is for the record...

Well I guess my country is safe, neither being for you or against you. I don't even know you.



Have a carrot.

I shall accept this carrot, but I would like to make it clear that if you are not with me, you are against me. *takes carrot and eats it* POISEN!!?? what sort of evil person sends me a poisen carrot!!! Luckily I have the finest doctors on hand, but you have made an enemy and will feel my wrath!!!

Simon Haymer
Head of State
Christac

So you declare war on me? For what purposes, if we may ask?

Also, this is for the record...

It is the only way to acheive peace...

Come to my side, we can split the world equally.

Simon Haymer
Head of State
Christac

And today I will be mostly stealing your mountain ranges.

All of them.

*deploys ze Resource platforms

There were definite limits to how far sanity could hold in the vast reaches of space. Parked in orbit over Terra, the Sol Fleet had no right to loose its sanity, some could argue. Of course, the Sol Fleet never lost its sanity, per se, since maybe it never had it in the first place. Either way, there may or may not have been a reason that three ships, each four times the length of a Nimitz aircraft carrier, dropped into the sky over Christac, along with their escorts. Maybe it was overkill, maybe not. Either way, they sat there, for no apparent reason, hulls shimmering slightly, ionized drive exhaust making a sort of glow around the three massive and scores of not so massive craft.

Aside from that, they dropped a lot of very large speakers, too large, comically large, perhaps.
"GET A LIFE!"
"LEARN HOW TO SPIEL!"
"NJOOKS AWAY!"
Blared from a kilometer above the heads of the people below. Insanity was a beautiful thing, perhaps, although it could be said that it was expensive, too.

I write to you from my bunker beneath Christonland, the capital. Although your flying explosive speaker attacks took me a little of guard, I am still here, and so are all the things that really matter. My wife, my money, and of course *camera spins* My robotic guards. Now you may ask what I am going to do with this threat from space, and the answer is quite simple.

Nothing

Im going to sit here and get the hell bombed out of me, care to come down here for a game of cards and some wine *cough* siodine *cough*

Simon Haymer
Head of State
Christac

And today I will be mostly stealing your mountain ranges.

All of them.

*deploys ze Resource platforms

Cmon man, we can ally, lets take the world


MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Simon Haymer
Head of State
Christac

I the sole creator and developer of the REPINS and TYRANTS projects shalt smite myne enemy. Chris I am against you. YOU are my enemy. You shalt be smitten by me and myne allies. Your death shall be as quick as the energy pulses that travel at speeds at which light goes slower then the pulses itself. Your meager army is outnumbered by at least 10 to 1 from my troops alone, not counting myne allies who will go to war at my command. You shall fall. Your land will fall. I will personally sow your fields with salt and explosives. I will guard your shores with myne wraiths. I will crush you economically, morally, and physically. Get ready because Kaiser Me hath declaren war on thee.

As he stared at the window of the chaos about him, Simon new that this would be the end. Who knows what exactly lead to this moment. Maybe it was the high Income tax, maybe it was declearing war on the entire world. whatever it was, it didnt matter now. As explosions echoed in the background it was clear what had to be done. He picked up all the belongings he had left, kissed the photo of his wife on the floor next to where he had been sleeping. Stoped for a moment, a tear formed in his eye, he missed Cathreine, and in alot of ways what he faced would be a gift. He left through the doors of his centural palace and into a limo, his faithfull driver Sandy Hummerfield drove him down centural street. Simon looked out the window, what had he done? "Sandy" he said, "drop me off here". He handed a slip of paper to the driver and said his last sentace "its your country now", confused Sandy was about to ask him what he meant, but at that point Simon revealed a revolver, and put it to his temple. "goodbye" he said. The shots fired just added o the explosions throughout the city, and as Sandy returned he knew that if indeed the country was his now, he had alot of mess to clear up.

Have a carrot.

:-( i want a carrot

Until elections take place I have been put in command of Christac, I would ask for a suitable peace settlement to be made, although as a country we no longer have much to offer. I beleive that we can come to some agreement though. Perhaps if we allowed you to escavate in our land, many discoveries have been made there in the past...


Sandy Hummerfield
Head of State
Christac

Kaiser Me sends a fleet of a thousand wraiths to your shores. The wraiths deploy a hundred men each. The men do not fear pathetic lil things as robots. Robots are easy to defeat. *Sends emp*. Your death is immenent. I wanted to experiment on you. Simple experiment. I show you the TYRANTS project which shall send you falling through the earth at the speed of 5.2m/seconds. Oh well. One last thing. Before you die, take the three minutes you have left to learn to spell.

Poison not Poisen
Off not of

Kaiser Me sends a fleet of a thousand wraiths to your shores. The wraiths deploy a hundred men each. The men do not fear pathetic lil things as robots. Robots are easy to defeat. *Sends emp*. Your death is immenent. I wanted to experiment on you. Simple experiment. I show you the TYRANTS project which shall send you falling through the earth at the speed of 5.2m/seconds. Oh well. One last thing. Before you die, take the three minutes you have left to learn to spell.

Poison not Poisen
Off not of

We would like to inform you of the inocent Sandy Hummerfield who you killed during this attack. His predesosor the late Simon Haymer, was already dead. We beleive it to be suicide. As Sandy Hummerfield is now also dead, we are finding it hard to get a replacement. Sandy Hummerfield wanted nothing but peace, and many of our citizens are abit anoyed at his untimely death. We ask you call of any future attacks, the man you wanted is dead, as is half the population. The only thing that I am permitted to give you is a promise to abolish our robotics program.

John Gadion
Head of Transport (now highest man in government due to untimely deaths)
Christac

:-( i want a carrot

Do not fear, I will send you a corrot!

I the sole creator and developer of the REPINS and TYRANTS projects shalt smite myne enemy. Chris I am against you. YOU are my enemy. You shalt be smitten by me and myne allies. Your death shall be as quick as the energy pulses that travel at speeds at which light goes slower then the pulses itself. Your meager army is outnumbered by at least 10 to 1 from my troops alone, not counting myne allies who will go to war at my command. You shall fall. Your land will fall. I will personally sow your fields with salt and explosives. I will guard your shores with myne wraiths. I will crush you economically, morally, and physically. Get ready because Kaiser Me hath declaren war on thee.

The Kingdom of Weyr does hereby claim the entity of Christac as a temporary protectorate of no apparent reason, and will hereby remove the capability of the entity of Jibea to further wage war and cause destruction against that state should any more threats come from Jibea.

Sincerely,
Fara Ito Lancer
Admiral

corrot? what the hell am i thinking, i cant be that bad a typer can i?

In a complete change of subject and although this does not consern any of you, the election results in Christac are in.


Hello, Im Orry Pitts, reporting live outside what is left of downtown centural. And the winner of the Christac election is, by a landslide...

Saerat Helmz, a man with a deep military background, moving to Christac after being an officer 2nd class in the Great war, to settle down and start a family. He has a wife Clettez Synides who was the pilot of his battle cruiser in the wars and tracked him down later. They themselves have a son and 2 daughters, whos identities are to be kept secret, and are at the moment living in what is left of the centural palace, although a new residence is being looked into. Considering the families quite clear military background, it is a suprise that all of them claim to be lovers of peace everywhere. Of course of of Christac is quite glad to have a new leader to help us through these difficult times, but the question on everybodies mind is how safe are w...

*televsion turned off in a dark room*