Confundo
26-02-2005, 17:59
OOC: Alright, I do not endorse the ideas here OOC, but I figured it would be fun to do something like this IC. Basically, I'm basing this very broadly on sort of a modern-day Mongol horde. I also think it's funny for some random guy named "Ian" to start a modern mongol horde. No offense to anyone named Ian, it's a great name, but it's still funny that one is starting a modern mongol horde.
Basically, if you want to get involved, have random people in your country follow his lead and start to "kick ass" against your government, and/or have your government crack down on the manuscript and his followers.
All misspellings are intentional.
IC:
In all the capitals of the world's major countries, thousands of typed-up and/or photocopied manuscripts appear, reading this:
The Most Revered Manuscript of
Ian the Great
Lord Tax Collector and Administrater of the Blend of Confundo
-”Decentralize! Decompose! Destroy!”-
-”Tax! Come together! Do shit!”-
———————————————————
I: How Shit Works
Alright, this is how everything works out, people. It’s simple, see? We
simply stagger shit out to diferent things, like this:
Blend of Confundo
Blended City-State
Blended Individual
See? We simply declare each and every city or county or whatever to be
independant, for the most part. They act completely independently. They are only required to pay taxes into the Blend. As long as they do this, it’s all good. Perfect. They’re happy. The Blend is happy because it gets it taxes. Same way with the Blended Individual. Blended City-State gets their taxes, and lets them do whatever the fuck they want.
II: How We Use Taxes
Taxes are like death. No one likes them, but there are certain people (Like funeral home guys and C.P.A.s) who makes a shitload of money off of them. Shitload, alright? And that shitload is easily taxed. Ergo, taxes and death are good when applied correctly. And that’s the clencher. Just like we agree taxes and death are bad, we agree that somtimes taxes are good, just like we agree that the death of certain people (All of our rich mothers-in-law, or rich relatives in general, for instance) is good. See? Right. So, people are required to pay 10% for
administration costs, my mortage, my food, my car bill, my electric bills, and any other bills that me not paying would prevent me from doing by duties. Also, pay whatever we need you to pay for the shit you want us to do. Like, let’s say that half the Blended City-States want us to kick the ass of some guy named Joe, and it costs $50 to kick Joe’s ass. Now, let’s say there are ten Blended City-States. But remember, only half of them want Joe’s ass kicked. So, the five that don’t want it done don’t pay anything, and those that do pay $10 each. Hence, the Blend is not a national government or a federation per se, but is sort of a group orgonized to get shit done that the city-states can’t do on their own. The city government of the Blended City-State has the same relationship to Blended Individuals.
III: The Rules
1. Blended City-States can make more rules that apply only to them.
2. Don’t steal people’s shit.
3. Don’t kill people.
4. Don’t fuck people that don’t want to be fucked.
5. Don’t kidnap people.
6. Unless you are organized into a Blended City-State government and some guy breaks the rules and ergo needs an ass-kicking.
7. Work for, with all you have, the establishment of a worldwide Blended empire.
8. Follow these rules set by Ian the Great and any further that may come to be decreed as needed. If Ian the Great makes any uneeded decrees, then kick my ass.
Basically, if you want to get involved, have random people in your country follow his lead and start to "kick ass" against your government, and/or have your government crack down on the manuscript and his followers.
All misspellings are intentional.
IC:
In all the capitals of the world's major countries, thousands of typed-up and/or photocopied manuscripts appear, reading this:
The Most Revered Manuscript of
Ian the Great
Lord Tax Collector and Administrater of the Blend of Confundo
-”Decentralize! Decompose! Destroy!”-
-”Tax! Come together! Do shit!”-
———————————————————
I: How Shit Works
Alright, this is how everything works out, people. It’s simple, see? We
simply stagger shit out to diferent things, like this:
Blend of Confundo
Blended City-State
Blended Individual
See? We simply declare each and every city or county or whatever to be
independant, for the most part. They act completely independently. They are only required to pay taxes into the Blend. As long as they do this, it’s all good. Perfect. They’re happy. The Blend is happy because it gets it taxes. Same way with the Blended Individual. Blended City-State gets their taxes, and lets them do whatever the fuck they want.
II: How We Use Taxes
Taxes are like death. No one likes them, but there are certain people (Like funeral home guys and C.P.A.s) who makes a shitload of money off of them. Shitload, alright? And that shitload is easily taxed. Ergo, taxes and death are good when applied correctly. And that’s the clencher. Just like we agree taxes and death are bad, we agree that somtimes taxes are good, just like we agree that the death of certain people (All of our rich mothers-in-law, or rich relatives in general, for instance) is good. See? Right. So, people are required to pay 10% for
administration costs, my mortage, my food, my car bill, my electric bills, and any other bills that me not paying would prevent me from doing by duties. Also, pay whatever we need you to pay for the shit you want us to do. Like, let’s say that half the Blended City-States want us to kick the ass of some guy named Joe, and it costs $50 to kick Joe’s ass. Now, let’s say there are ten Blended City-States. But remember, only half of them want Joe’s ass kicked. So, the five that don’t want it done don’t pay anything, and those that do pay $10 each. Hence, the Blend is not a national government or a federation per se, but is sort of a group orgonized to get shit done that the city-states can’t do on their own. The city government of the Blended City-State has the same relationship to Blended Individuals.
III: The Rules
1. Blended City-States can make more rules that apply only to them.
2. Don’t steal people’s shit.
3. Don’t kill people.
4. Don’t fuck people that don’t want to be fucked.
5. Don’t kidnap people.
6. Unless you are organized into a Blended City-State government and some guy breaks the rules and ergo needs an ass-kicking.
7. Work for, with all you have, the establishment of a worldwide Blended empire.
8. Follow these rules set by Ian the Great and any further that may come to be decreed as needed. If Ian the Great makes any uneeded decrees, then kick my ass.