Peng-Pau
25-02-2005, 03:10
The Capitalia Reverensa de Peng-Pau sighed as the lights and computer systems in the Parliament building slowly came back online. She stabbed a button inset into the solid oak desk in her office and a panel in its polished surface slid back and revealed a plasma screen panel which slid into a vertical position with a small keyboard situating itself underneath it.
The screen blinked to life and the face of an engineer appeared on the screen. He opened his mouth to say something but the Capitalia interrupted him before he could utter a sound.
"WHY has it taken six. Months. To fix the power lines to this building? Do you have any idea how much of a problem this has caused us? We've had to wire up exercise bikes to batteries to power enough machines so we can pull the national database off in dead tree format. Dead tree format! We haven't used paper in this building for 15 years!" she screamed into the videophone terminal, her face turning a quaint shade of mauve during the process of uttering the words. The engineer fingered his collar uncomfortably and swallowed. The Capitalia threw a repot she had been holding in her hand down on the desk, a resounding thud issuing forth at a level loud enough to make the engineer jump. "How the chreid did three thousand Selbbirts get into our basement anyway? They excrete concentrated sulphuric acid! And you say no-one noticed?!"
The engineer went "Uhm..."
The Capitalia snapped at him. "Is this building even structurally sound any more? The things must have urinated on a few supports in the basement. And I have a disturbing vision of tomorrows news featuring a 700 floor building falling over due to a load of bird shit in the basement!"
She smacked her elbow on the desk and flopped her forehead into her palm.
"Get someone to replace anything which looks damaged, I don't care how much it'll cost. Delaria out."
She stabbed the button on the desk again, and the screen slipped back under the desk surface and the panel slid back into place, the join with the main desk body imperceptible.
"Bird shit! Bringing down my building! BIRD SHIT!"
The Capitalia grabbed the report and threw it at the bin labelled "In Tray" in the corner of her office. She pressed another button on the desk, and a chime echoed around the building.
"This is the Capitalia," she said, her voice echoing through the building's PA system. "Due to the current repair works being undertaken in this building, the suspension of the lift services will continue until the work has been completed. I apologise for this inconvenience, but it is necessary. Also, I feel that some of the people working in Dephisors Echonome need the exercise of walking up 700 escalators. Lift services will resume once Capitalis Raedane has lost 12 pounds."
She smirked evilly and tapped the button on the desk again, and the PA system cut out. Her desk chirped, and she depressed the button activating the videophone terminal again, grinning as it came online showing a vary large and furious man with several chins and a red haze over his face.
"I must express my severe disdain at the end of that announcement, Cap-" he began.
"Oh save it, Raedane. It's true, deal with it," the Capitalia replied, and cut the connection.
Delaria sighed, and leant back in her chair.
Back to business... she thought. Oh the joys of dealing with the idiots other countries elect to power... At least with the power out I could claim "No power!" as an excuse to avoid them.
I heard that! came a voice in her head. I'm adding it to my blackmail list, dear. I'll use it one day!
Quiet, Keirea, finish writing that letter to our engineering firm explaining why we're sacking them, she replied.
The screen blinked to life and the face of an engineer appeared on the screen. He opened his mouth to say something but the Capitalia interrupted him before he could utter a sound.
"WHY has it taken six. Months. To fix the power lines to this building? Do you have any idea how much of a problem this has caused us? We've had to wire up exercise bikes to batteries to power enough machines so we can pull the national database off in dead tree format. Dead tree format! We haven't used paper in this building for 15 years!" she screamed into the videophone terminal, her face turning a quaint shade of mauve during the process of uttering the words. The engineer fingered his collar uncomfortably and swallowed. The Capitalia threw a repot she had been holding in her hand down on the desk, a resounding thud issuing forth at a level loud enough to make the engineer jump. "How the chreid did three thousand Selbbirts get into our basement anyway? They excrete concentrated sulphuric acid! And you say no-one noticed?!"
The engineer went "Uhm..."
The Capitalia snapped at him. "Is this building even structurally sound any more? The things must have urinated on a few supports in the basement. And I have a disturbing vision of tomorrows news featuring a 700 floor building falling over due to a load of bird shit in the basement!"
She smacked her elbow on the desk and flopped her forehead into her palm.
"Get someone to replace anything which looks damaged, I don't care how much it'll cost. Delaria out."
She stabbed the button on the desk again, and the screen slipped back under the desk surface and the panel slid back into place, the join with the main desk body imperceptible.
"Bird shit! Bringing down my building! BIRD SHIT!"
The Capitalia grabbed the report and threw it at the bin labelled "In Tray" in the corner of her office. She pressed another button on the desk, and a chime echoed around the building.
"This is the Capitalia," she said, her voice echoing through the building's PA system. "Due to the current repair works being undertaken in this building, the suspension of the lift services will continue until the work has been completed. I apologise for this inconvenience, but it is necessary. Also, I feel that some of the people working in Dephisors Echonome need the exercise of walking up 700 escalators. Lift services will resume once Capitalis Raedane has lost 12 pounds."
She smirked evilly and tapped the button on the desk again, and the PA system cut out. Her desk chirped, and she depressed the button activating the videophone terminal again, grinning as it came online showing a vary large and furious man with several chins and a red haze over his face.
"I must express my severe disdain at the end of that announcement, Cap-" he began.
"Oh save it, Raedane. It's true, deal with it," the Capitalia replied, and cut the connection.
Delaria sighed, and leant back in her chair.
Back to business... she thought. Oh the joys of dealing with the idiots other countries elect to power... At least with the power out I could claim "No power!" as an excuse to avoid them.
I heard that! came a voice in her head. I'm adding it to my blackmail list, dear. I'll use it one day!
Quiet, Keirea, finish writing that letter to our engineering firm explaining why we're sacking them, she replied.