NationStates Jolt Archive

[[Story. It involves Metus, but in such a small way that I'll just write it as a story]]

The stage is the Milky Way Galaxy. specifically an area relativly close to Sol. On a habitable but unwanted planet(as it had no resources that were of use to an interstellar fleet), a small colony of misfits from many nations converged. Some were pirates, others deserters, others till just wanted adventure. And then there was MacMurray.

MacMurray was a strange man and had been for many years, but he was fair and kind and everyone seemed to like him, so after a while, he ended up in charge. His little empire prospered under his firm rule, and he bestowed gifts on the people and looked to the stars again.

A message was sent to Sol. The MacMurray Empire, in orbit of the star Bob, requests the immediate arrival of a diplomatic envoy from Metus.

The message was never responded to in any fashion, though it was recieved. It was thought to be a hoax and was promptly disregarded. Well, this snub could not be tolerated.

MacMurray personally wheeled a brass cannon out onto the front lawn of his small mansion and fired it off, officially declaring war on Metus.

Ships came and went often through the port facilities and three ships were seized and were told to announce that Metus would soon fall to the MacMurray Empire and would rue the day they crossed him...

Four days went by with no response from any Metua member, save for the sound of laughter. No ships were dispatched. No serious responses were broadcasted.

That was, until he captured five more ships.

One more day passed and a single rupture in space appeared over MacMurray's empire... and out of it came a single ship. One hundred times the size of his fleet.

The giant ship was alone, being without need of escort. For three hours, it sat there, ignoring all incoming messages.

Finally, a message was sent.

This is the CSS Valkyrie. We are sending a shuttle down to your planet to discuss the current state of affairs...

And so MacMurray himself greeted the party on board. All were in dress uniforms and exited without a word, followed by one wearing a much more elaborate uniform. "I am Fleet Captain Todd Plissken. I am representing the Reformed Empire of Crimmond and Metus in this instance. Now... what the hell is going on here?"

Three hours passed, endless explinations on the 'empire' and how it was ignored, why they went to war and what the state of the captured ships and crews were.

Plissken sat through it all and then stood, walked up to MacMurray and...

Surrendered.

Not just the Valkeryie or Crimmond. But for Metus, ToY, Reich, APTO, ESUS and a dozen other alliances in addition to the universe at large. Plissken signed over all explored unexplored and imagined and unimagined vastnesses of the universe to Emperor MacMurray. He was then taken aboard the shuttle and escorted to the bridge, to assume command.

But, before Captain Plissken relinquished control of everything to MacMurray, he briefed him on the current state of affairs. It took seven minutes to list every interstellar squabble, war, dispute and tension. Not describe. Just to list them. Another seven to express the absolute importance of keeping the countless goggleplexi of creatures in the universe happy and taken care of. If that wasn't done, he'd have a revolution on his hands in a matter of hours.

Then he listed several immediate problems. The overpopulation of Sol, Terra in particular. The tensions between Metus and ToY. The strange and violent Demons that sought an everlasting war with everything not Demon. Slavers. ANd most importantly the universal budjet for the coming fiscal year, with insane amounts of inflation, using models that could not be changed because of politics.

The Emperor listened for fourty-two minutes. Then he abdicated. Well... not exactly. Plissken refused to accept it. To be so suddenly leaderless would cause the universe to be thrown into chaos...

After two minutes of thought, he did the most logical thing... He appoint Fleet Captain Todd Plissken as commander of the Dreadnought CSS Valkerie and to the prestigious position of Royal High Minister Plenipotentiary in Total Command of the Universe. He even ordered a parchement made, so the crew would know this was no ordinary Fleet Captain they had on their hands... He also freed the crews and ships captured, much to their delight.

Plissken accepted and signed a new law, granting all subject territories the rights, prilieges and freedoms they had before the incident and instructed them to run their territories how they saw fit. AFter all, the Emperor and his Royal High Minister had more important tasks at hand.

When asked why he surrendered by an officer later, Plissken only sighed and smilied, replying. "I know my history. Some captains paint. Some play chess. I collect the sum total of human knowledge in the universe. And from that knowledge, I saw that we are no different than the Europeans encountering the natives. We could wipe them out. But it's more practical to make peace."

The war lasted a week and a half. The party lasted a month. There was no shooting. There were no deaths. There were no injuries, excepting two very embarrased ensigns who somehow dissassembled the auxillery power converter and reassembled it with themselves inside during the confusion. It took six hours to get them out and five minutes for Plissken to stop laughing.

Three days after the party ended, the Valkerie turned away from the planet and headed back out onto patrol. Only two tangible things about the incident remained with the ship. One was the parchment, hung on the bridge. The other was a notation in the service record of Fleet Captain Todd Plissken. It listed his new post as High Minister Plenipotentiary in Total Command of the Universe and another notation below it:

It is to be noted that Todd Plissken is the only Crimm commander in the history of the Navy to ever surrender in the face of the enemy. Plissken was pardoned for this act and no discilinary action was taken on the part of the Crimm Naval Command.