NationStates Jolt Archive

The top 8 seeds each get placed into a group of their own.

Seeds
1 Total n Utter Insanity
2 Starblaydia
3 Bedistan
4 Rejistania
5 Vilita
6 Cockbill Street
7 Aquiliana
8 Jeruselem

Group A
Cockbill Street (6)
Druida (14)
Hiiraan (18)
Fmjphoenix (9)

Group B
Jeruselem (8)
Legalese (17)
Big Pimento
Audioslavia (13)

Group C
Starblaydia (2)
Sarzonia (10)
The Eagles Nest (20)
Sliponia

Group D
Bedistan (3)
Cacobellum
South Osettia
The Lowland Clans

Group E
Rejistania (4)
Praying2God
Adam Island
Esth

Group F
Vilita (5)
Oaker (15)
Turori (11)
Crystilakere (16)

Group G
Aquiliana (7)
Liverpool England (19)
Raptor Claw
Lethislavania

Group H
Total n Utter Insanity (1)
Ninurta
Giant Zucchini (12)
Krytenia

You can post your rosters.

As you know Second Round onwards scores are TGed 24 hours before posting to this thread. You can also get your Group Stage results 24 hours before they are posted to this thread by going on IRC.

U21WC10 Signup Thread (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=379804)

Any ideas to improve the Cup, or anything would be warmly welcome. Hell, I'll even take complaints

Vilita Jungle Kitties u21
"You think you can beat us? Hah, funny, you can't. 2nd Maybe?"



GOALKEEPERS:

[ 86 ] Delain Falcón [ - Tivali City - ]
------- GK ( AGE: 21 GOALS::SR: U21: REG: )
Falcon signed for Vilita Declasse side Akisa Surta midway through Vilitan Season 9, joining the club in a promotion battle. He is the first ever recognized international from Akisa Surta, And has large shoes to fill in defending Vilita's Under 21 Championship earned by National Hero Jimmy Kater. He took a further step in filling Kater's shoes by joining his former team, Stellar Division side Tivali City in Season 11.

[ 90 ] Alioum Mané [ - Alikki Rovers - ]
------- GK ( AGE: 19 GOALS::SR: U21: REG: )


[ 89 ] Manolis Masi [ - Mavaloiao - ]
------- GK ( AGE: 18 GOALS::SR: U21: REG: )



DEFENDERS:

[ 9 ] Andrea Lamberti [ - Nusira-Lionta - ]
------- D LC ( AGE: 18 GOALS::SR: U21: REG: )
Lamberti became the youngest player to ever feature for the first team at Arcticala Inlet and has been tipped as the next Giacomo Adika after a high profile transfer to Nusira-Lionta following Vilitan Season 9. At just 17 years old, looks set to be a regular in the Vilitan starting lineup following the semi-retirement of Adika and Enzo Ahat

[ 63 ] Niccoló Mazzeo [ - Inland Peaks FC - ]
------- D LC ( AGE: 18 GOALS::SR: 0 U21: 1 REG: 0 )


[ 62 ] Tulio Arizmendi [ - Jhanna City (STR) - ]
------- D RLC ( AGE: 20 GOALS::SR: 0 U21: 1 REG: 0 )
The unknown Defender made an impact after a late call into the Under-21's, scoring once on the way to the Under-21 World Championship

[ 68 ] Kagiso Alfieri [ - Sile Town - ]
------- D R ( AGE: 18 GOALS::SR: U21: REG: )




DEFENSIVE MID:

[ ] Christian Sanou [ - Jlinal Cove FC - ]
------- D DM RC ( AGE: 20 GOALS::SR: U21: REG: )
A star out of place in his lowly club side, Sanou is leading the new crop of Defensive Midfielders in the wake of the International retirement of Jurgen Ramz

[ ] Mauro Capuano [ - Jlinal Cove FC - ]
------- DM C ( AGE: 18 GOALS::SR: U21: REG: )


[ ] Michele Mariano [ - Jlinal Cove FC - ]
------- DM LC ( AGE: 18 GOALS::SR: U21: REG: )



MIDFIELDERS:

[ 51 ] Inaki Soler [ - Strike FC - ]
------- AM RLC ( AGE: 21 GOALS::SR: 2 U21: 4 REG: 1 )


[ ] Antonis Siazzu [ - Yeaddin Owls AFC - ]
------- AM C ( AGE: 18 GOALS::SR: U21: REG: )
Siazzu is a product of the Yeaddin Owls youth academy, moving on a fully funded loan deal to Melmondian side Titania Forests during the World Cup 19 Qualifiers.

[ ] Maurizio Sala [ - Nusira Lionta - ]
------- M RC ( AGE: 20 GOALS::SR: U21: REG: )
The former Tivali City youth trainee transferred to Nusira Lionta from Marine Coast during Vilitan season 9 in an attempt to get regular first team action. Sala was left with just 10 starts in two seasons with Marine Coast.

[ ] Manolis Makunike [ - Lopinka - ]
------- M RC ( AGE: 18 GOALS::SR: U21: REG: )


[ ] Thierry Columbo [ - Lonngeylin Coast - ]
------- M LC ( AGE: 17 GOALS::SR: U21: REG: )



FORWARDS:

[ 43 ] Riccardo Appolloni [ - Yeaddin Owls AFC - ]
------- F C ( AGE: 21 GOALS::SR: 0 U21: 1 REG: 0 )


[ 47 ] Julei Adjei [ - Yeaddin Owls AFC - ]
------- F C ( AGE: 18 GOALS::SR: U21: REG: )

Stars hope to go back to future

For Sarzonian Under 21 national team Coach Cal Trottier, the task at hand is a new one. He hopes to step out of the shadow cast by former Under 21 national team field boss Terry Mangione and put his own stamp on the team, but he also wants the team to get back to the success that saw the team advance to the knockout stages in each of its first four World Cups.

His task won't be an easy one. The team will be essentially a brand new Under 21 team culled from a still developing youth program and will not feature the playmaking of midfielder Valentin Kienzl or the goal scoring of legendary strikers John Clinton or Kenny Cooper.

"We're going to start over in a sense," Trottier said. "We've got a system in place and a way of doing things that is stable, but we've also got new players to work in. It will be a challenge."

The challenge will also be the first World Cup that sees the Junior Stars not have a top seed in their group since their debut in the World Cup back in its fourth running. Trottier said he relishes the chance for the team to be an underdog for a change.

"No one is going to expect us to accomplish much of anything," Trottier said. "They saw the [Incorporated Football] Federation botch the search for a new coach and they think we're just going to be flattened every time out. We're going out to prove everybody wrong."

The team will also try to live down the unpopular dismissal of Mangione after the team failed to advance to the knockout stages for the first time. Kienzl was the most vocal player who sounded off about the move, an act that led Federation Chairman Buddy Landry to tell Kienzl to "shut the [heck] up.

"It was a federation decision, so we'll leave it at that," Landry said. His stance regarding the move led to intense scrutiny by the media and "thousands" of irate calls from fans. Finally, Landry apologized for his actions, sort of.

"I didn't care what 1.5 billion people tell me about the state of football in Sarzonia," he said. "But my eight year old daughter told me 'daddy, you were wrong.' When I heard that, my heart sunk. My own wife even criticized me for what I did. When that happened, I had to take a long look in the mirror."

Landry tried to call Kienzl to apologize to him, but Kienzl wouldn't accept the apology. Kienzl said Landry "is an evil man.

"I won't play for any national team as long as he's the chairman," Kienzl said.

Sirx Given u21 Job, Task: Achieve Qualification
Ralph Sirx has been given the job of under 21 team manager by Ha~e Hangila. His first job will be to ensure the qualification of the under 21 team to the second round, something the senior team has failed to achieve for only the third time in 13 attempts.

------------------------------------------------
Sirx and team achieve shock win

News has filtered in from Total n Utter Insanity that the under 21 team led by ex-senior manager Ralph Sirx have beaten the group's top seed Aquiliana 2-1. The senior team, which lost by the same score to the same team on MD14 of the World Cup qualifiers, were undoubtedly shocked when the heard the news. Liverpool England will now qualify with a win over either Raptor Claw or Lethislavania, who are both unranked.

Coach Cal Trottier announced the roster for the fifth U21 competition for the Sarzonian Junior Stars:

ROSTER (starters in BOLD)

GOALKEEPERS:
18 Tom Beneditto (New Daurmont Dragons - amateur): Beneditto served as the reserve goalkeeper on the last World Cup team. At 17 years old, he should be a mainstay on the national team for years to come.
22 Harvey Cooley (Syossett State College): Cooley set a school record with 12 clean sheets in 18 matches. At 19 years old, he looks to push Beneditto for playing time.

DEFENDERS:
15 Mike Tippett (New Bolash State College): Noted for his exploits as a right fullback and can play sweeper if the Junior Stars shift to a 3-5-2. At 20 years old, his future with the senior team seems to be all but guaranteed.
4 Kevin Spacek (Portland City College): Known as a great offensive defender, he often goes in to play halfback if the team is trailing and they need an offensive spark. At 20 years old, he plays like an older player.
6 Harvey Benedict (Woodstock Wild): A seldom-used reserve on the defending champions, he will likely get playing time for the Junior Stars. Just turned 20.
22 Henrik Bastale (Portland Timbers): A reserve on the most talented team in the SFC, he also looks to warm the bench for the U21 team until he gains experience. He has a lot of pure speed and ball control, but needs to learn to pace himself for 90 minutes. Just turned 17.
28 Jonah Willard (Woodstock University): Tremendously gifted defender who can play all four positions in a back four, Willard's versatility has earned him a spot on the team at 18 years old.
34 Alain Beaumont (Syossett Scouts): The expansion Scouts signed him to a development contract despite just turning 17 years old after he graduated from high school a year early. He earned his way into the Scouts starting 11 after training camp.

MIDFIELDERS
11 Chris Dunham (Stephen Stills High School, Woodstock): Surprisingly physical for a 19 year old who consistently plays with older players, he easily won the starting job as a defensive midfielder.
19 Karey Lewis (St. George Saints - minor league): Has a striker's knack for scoring, particularly with headers off corners, but plays defense too well to be put up front. He turned 20 last week and takes over as the team's playmaking midfielder.
24 Edward Manley (Woodstock Wild): The 19 year old is a natural on the right flank of midfield. His speed gives defenses fits though he tends to overrun the ball from time to time.
20 Pedro Alomades (St. George): Seemed to be born with a football at his feet. He has ballskills that veteran SFC players envy, but could use a lot of seasoning with a minor league team or the Junior Stars. At 18 years old, may relate best to the youngest of the Junior Stars.
35 Brent Tallisman (St. George): Can play either attacking or defensive midfield for his team although he's usually asked to mark the opposing team's top playmaking midfielders. At 17 years old, he's got a huge future ahead of him.
14 Tom Richards (Rypien City College): At 19 years old, Richard has more than enough experience to star for the national team after playing a combined 50 games between his college team and a local club team.

FORWARDS:
17 Carter Buck (Woodstock): Rarely gets on the pitch for his club's senior side, but plays extensively on the reserve team. At just 20 years old, Buck is on the verge of getting some playing time with the traditional powers of the SFC. Is known for his dangerous first touch.
22 Liam Dudley (Cooke State University): Known for a nose for the goal, but needs great service from midfield to be effective. Turns 20 years old today.
16 Roy Spencer (Endymion State University): He can play either withdrawn forward or attacking midfielder and has played striker when his team was decimated with injuries. Holds the ball extremely well. At 16 years old, may be jostled by older and larger players.

TEN just wants to make Round of 16

Embarassment. yep that is what the Nest tends to do at times in the U21. Get beat 7-0.

Well not this time. 11 billion claws has been spent on the Nest U21 team. new facilities, new kits, and well, new players.

Let's see how this investment turns out.

Head Coach: Falon Flan
Assistant Head Coach: George Rush
Assistant Coach: Zyri Slova

Goalkeepers:
#6 Franklin Cabrillo* - 17 yrs old
#11 Harlem Selam - - 16 yrs old

Defenders:
#18 Ryan Fremont* - 20 yrs old
#3 Jesus Ramirez - 18 yrs old
#14 Miguel Martinez* - 19 yrs old
#12 Charlie Hulo - 19 yrs old
#15 Vega Masters* - 20 yrs old

Midfielders:
#2 Juan Espinoza* - 18 yrs old
#7 Trowa Notrab - 19 yrs old
#10 Niera Primo* - 17 yrs old
#13 Viera Primo* - 17 yrs old
#9 Jason Mitchell* - 20 yrs old
#4 Brian Berry - 16 yrs old

Forwards:
#1 Larry Brown* - 20 yrs old
#5 Bruce Chen* - 18 yrs old
#16 Adrian Villareal* - 20 yrs old
#8 Martin Tract - 16 yrs old
#17 Jarod Howell - 17 yrs old
3-4-3 Formation

(OOC: I thought I’d try something a little different for this tournament)

SOFA Headquarters, Ts’khinvali – The U21 Department

“Serfus, I need that team sheet for the U21 Championships today! What do you mean your dog ate it – that’s the oldest trick in the book! Serfus…Serfus, forget it, I don’t have time to listen to your crap – you’re fired!”

The sound of SOFA U21 Chief Randulph Kleins slamming the receiver back in the cradle marked the start of another hectic day in the U21 department. With the Championships starting that day, things were a little more uproarious then usual. The opening ceremony was due to start in a few hours, and the official team sheet still hadn’t been sent to TnUI, the job of which would now probably be handed over to rookie Yerzy Polkovsos. It was a job that few enjoyed and even fewer actually did, so much so that an official team sheet-producer, formerly Serfus O’Kindel, had been employed by SOFA. The unfortunate incident with the dog hadn’t exactly helped to lighten the mood amongst the upper echelons of SOFA, and Kleins would get it in the neck if things didn’t run smoothly; consequently the rest of the U21 department would get it in the neck from Kleins if he didn’t get his annual bonus. Sure enough, a mere smattering of seconds after the phone in Kleins’ office had been smashed to pieces, the door to his office almost came off its hinges as he entered the department, like a particularly bad stench that had nothing to do with Doris the receptionist’s BO problem. Silence replaced the idle chatter of the office, and everyone turned to their computer screens, pretending to work but keeping one eye on Klein.

Klein scanned the room for a potential victim, and his gaze settled on a particularly scrawny-looking lad in the far corner with…a beard! In two seconds flat, Klein had navigated his way to the desk, overturned a wastepaper basket and positioned his face within an inch of Polkovsos’.

“That beard is at least an inch over regulation length.” He got his mini-ruler out just to check before carrying on. “You will get that sorted by tomorrow, and you will have the U21 team sheet ready in two hours, and it will be on my desk in two hours, twenty seconds, OKAY!?!” With that, Klein was gone, and the door to his office was slammed shut again. The betting board was brought out again, hidden behind a curtain, and employees once again started wagering on how long it would be before Klein died of a heart attack. High blood pressure was the single most common cause of death in the SOFA headquarters, and it was clear that the next to fall victim to the curse would be the U21 Chief himself.

Polkovsos, however, had more important things to think about. He looked at the piece of paper in front of him, which showed the groups for the up and coming championships. South Osettia were in the same group as third seeds Bedistan, but also unseeded teams Cacobellum and TLC, meaning a very good chance of going through to the latter stages. Of course, without a team sheet all efforts would be futile. He sighed, booted his computer and got to work. After two hours of trawling though reams of information about the players in the squad, the sheet was finally complete, and it was with satisfaction that Polkovsos clicked the print button. The sheet emerged from the high-quality laser printer with a mere puff from the machine, and he scanned to make sure nothing had gone wrong:

Manager: Clayton Mayne

Goalkeepers:
1. Nelson Zackery
2. Fernando Roath
3. Clinton Matzen

Defenders:
4. Erik Raisor
5. Jessie Kost
6. Jessie Kells
7. Darryl Eidt
8. Fernando Michelle
9. Max Nichol
10. Kelly Whitesides

Midfielders:
11. Cody Bryand
12. Jessie Bortle
13. Darryl Kothari
14. Nelson Janis
15. Julio Wideman
16. Darren Smoak
17. Mathew Blakeman

Strikers:
18. Nelson Fouche
19. Clinton Minks
20. Nelson Pantano
21. Ted Mauk

All was present and correct. He breathed a quick sigh of relief, and then made a mad dash to Klein’s office – the belly of the beast. He timidly knocked on the door, to which a loud grunt was offered in response. He opened the door and entered the office. Klein looked up, then looked at his watch. The veins in his neck started to pop.

“I thought I told you to be here in two hours, twenty seconds! It’s taken you two hours, twenty-two seconds! How the hell do you expect to progress if you can’t even meet you deadlines, you worthless piece of scum! Give me that sheet and get out of here – you’re a disgrace to this entire department!” Before Polkovsos could respond, the sheet was grabbed out of his hands, and he was pushed back into the department. The sound of several employees tutting was heard, and no doubt they were shaking their heads too, a hint of mirth on their faces. God, he hated working here.

U21WC IX PREVIEW

In their U21WC debut the Warriors have drawn into a group of WC vets, however, two of the other three teams in their group have never participated in a U21WC before. Let's look at the group.

Group E
Rejistania (4)
Praying2God
Adam Island
Esth


Rejistania: An international soccer powerhouse. They will be very hard if not impossible to beat for anybody in this group. Hands down the group favorites, and expected to contend for the championship. Odds to win the group: Even.

Praying2God: The nation as a whole is riding an emotional high right now, as we won the recently completed WC of Basketball II in their debut in international competition. Our soccer teams have never been very good, but maybe the hiatus from international competition will have done us some good. Odds to win the group: 250-1.

Adam Island: Their national team has made a name for itself in the most recent WC by unexpectedly advancing out of group play. Their nation has suddenly become ardent soccer fans. They should fare well in their U21 debut and take the second qualifying spot from this group. Odds to win the group: 150-1.

Esth: A relative newcomer to international soccer competition, they did not fare well in the most recent WC. They will be hard pressed to do well in this group. Odds to win the group: 500-1.



Search for Soccer Records Empty Netted

Repeated searches for records of the Warriors' accomplishments have not produced any luck. All records of the Warriors' past WC statistics are believed to have been lost in the civil unrest that forced them out of international competition for several years.

Junior Stars expect 'war' in Group C

If the Sarzonian Under 21 national team is going to advance in their first World Cup under new coach Cal Trottier, they will have to do it against a group they expect to be a tough test. With regional rivals Starblaydia and with The Eagles Nest and Sliponia in Group C along with Sarzonia, Trottier said the group has "all the makings of a Group of Death."

"Advancing is not going to be easy from this group," Trottier said. "One thing we should have learned from the last World Cup is that advancing is not something you should ever take for granted."

The Junior Stars are still trying to find themselves as footballers, Trottier said. Playing without longtime stalwarts has resulted in Trottier emphasizing more of a team-oriented concept with all 10 field players responsible for man marking and for pitching in to help the attack.

"We're going to become practicioners of 'total football,'" defender and team captain Mike Tippett said. "No one's going to stand around out there. We can't afford to."

Trottier said he wasn't thinking about his coaching status so early in his tenure as the field boss, but observers said the team was "still looking" for a high profile coach to take over the team. However, IFF assistant chairman Dan Foley said the last World Cup "taught most of the top brass that one coach isn't the panacea for any team with problems.

"I'm not going to get into a blame the coach type scenario," Foley said. "Terry [Mangione, the former Under 21 national team coach] did a great job to get our team to a position where it was consistently one of the best teams at this level. We have to evaluate everything, is it the system? Is it the players themselves? Is it the bureaucrats? What's holding us back? There are no easy answers in football."

Cockbill Street squad for Under-21 World Cup Nine:

Goalkeepers:

1. Petur Glodsson, aged 21, av rating 5.50, R'dhuz'lith K'druz'ba
12.Simon Qurat, aged 20, av rating 5.44, Jotneheim Mountains AFC

Defenders:

2. Olivine, aged 18, av rating 5.46, central defender, KI Lanthanate
3. Ivar Golddevourer, aged 21, av rating 5.61, right back, Likh'gokh K'druz'ba
4. Andrew Widdleston, aged 20, av rating 5.85, full back, Vimesbairn United
5. David Pomsville, aged 19, av rating 5.67, central defender/left back, Upperborough FC
15.Arnar Axewielder, aged 20, av rating 5.82, central defender, Laf'goh'lith K'druz'ba

Midfielders:

6. John Swytherton, aged 19, av rating 5.90, midfielder, K'haz'bak K'druz'ba
7. Darren Hornby, aged 18, av rating 5.35, central midfielder, KI Lanthanate
9. Samuel Toshack, aged 20, av rating 5.59, defensive midfielder, Upperborough FC
11.Geirr Axewielder, aged 21, av rating 5.41, central midfielder/right back, U'dh'gazh'dukh K'druz'ba
14.Wolframite, aged 21, av rating 5.67, defensive midfielder, Jotneheim Mountains AFC

Attackers:

8. William Roberts, aged 21, av rating 5.61, forward, Chesham Rangers
10.Olaf Spearthrower, aged 20, av rating 5.76, striker, K'haz'bak K'druz'ba
13.Arnar Stonethrower, aged 21, av rating 5.55, striker, Laf'goh'lith K'druz'ba

Unfortunately, our greatest under-21 star, Philip MacLavish, can not play as he is already tied up with commitments with the national team's training camp at Jotneheim.

A person sits in front of something which reminds of a terminal, he types in a high speed, interrupted only by occasional curses, sometimes directed to the program, sometimes to the speed of the computer behind the terminal - or the lack of it. He is busy fixing some bugs in a complicated program, which he wrote earllier. Since this is the U21-thread, the person, who is busy torturing the poor HYJISD computer is Siki Rej and the program, he is develloping the software for Hexatux 2.0, 2.1, 3.0 or however you would call it. He had no requirement to increase version numbers since he does not share the code with others. The only ones, who saw his furious cidong were ASR officials, and they have no clue about programming (and often no clue about soccer, but that is another issue). After finding an idiotic bug in the memory management of the Hexatux-Software, we wanted to get himself another cup of coffee, unfortunately, the can was empty. Slani! He left the dark room, also known as 'the cave' to get another can. on his way, he nearly bumped into Teke Daran, who apparently just wanted to decend into the cave. "Ha.. Daran'he, I am very sorry!"
"No problem, Siki Rej, when can I expect the roster to be on my desk?"
Siki Rej's mimic showed that he thought some variation of 'Oh slani!' at this moment. "5 minutes!", he muttered, hoping that the president of the ASR knows programming terms well enough to understand: 'Whenever it works'.
"You are still having problems?" (apparently, he did)
"Ve... it is difficult, I want to improve the memory management of the Hexatux, I need it to store more match data for even better alpha-beta algorithms...(more techspeak which tries to tell that he has too few RAM)"
"You might simply have asked me for an upgrade..."
Siki Rej blushed and hid his face, he forgot the obvious solution. "I learned to code for efficiency..."
"Nothing wrong with that but 10 Megabyte of data need ten Megabyte of RAM"
"But I'd need at least 32!"
"No problem, tomorrow okay for you?"
"Yes, I think I will merge some data into the main file to make it possible for Hexatux to use up-to-date data!"
"Do that!"


A few days later, this roster was officially released:
Goalkeepers:
Memakira Hsi, 21, Jinhes Junis
(Miha~l Jaje, 18, Na~ovi Nanti)
(Kansu Syku, 20, Jinhes Junis)

Defenders:
Kansu Syku, 19, Ihiri Sekhika
Syku Kansu, 20, Ihiri Relekhati
Lata~n Je, 19, Najajara Ynu
Hiti Hidi, 19, Hetkali Hetaki
Syku Raju, 17, Hetkali Junis
(Jeseme Manu, 19, Kalisimu Salan)
(Mika Hakil, 18, Siril Salan)
(Vilari Tesde, 19, Niadi Veran)
(Ha~e Lata~n, 17, Na~ovi Sekhika)
(Simu Kansu, 20, Karela lines)

Midfielders:
Kilan Sere, 18, Hanin Sekhika
Xkeliko Saru, 19, Sen-La-Sa~o Relekhati
Mikidilanevesery "Miki" Lanaveradamitanu, Sijitalatirikimidateme-Inanakasesyja Ines
Venesil Sajita, 21, Rilakil Veran
(Nijan Hana, 20, KaMaRi Kaletri)
(Vese Nah, 18, Matix Veran)
(Hana Sil, 17, Sikane Sekhika)
(Hilat Inik, 19, Harari Kamex)

Forwards:
Tasi Kansu-Ira, 20, Karela lines
(Syku Linu, 19, Hetlasane Hetkali)

Junior Stars off to rough start

Sarzonia started off the Cal Trottier era the same way it ended the Terry Mangione era, with a loss. Sarzonia faced second ranked Starblaydia fresh off an unprecedented run through the eighth World Cup and promptly lost 2-0.

"We just were out of sync," Trottier said. "We couldn't get anything going. It'll be a while before this team starts playing like it once did."

Defender Henry Bastale, the youngest defender in the starting 11, made two critical mistakes that led to both Starblaydi goals, failing to mark his man on the first goal in the 19th minute and leaving his man unmarked when the Starblaydi withdrawn forward made a run that surprised him.

"We paid for our lack of experience," Trottier said. "We're going to have to start playing a lot better from here on out if we want to think about qualifying."

The Young Zucchinis are back, and Nebitez has made some significant changes to the squad.

Merguez and Lusiano have been dropped from the defence in favour of Masuel and Derfindan, while Borren, Ragerd, and Kebam replace Navdid, Bolger, and Ravoldi, who have passed the age limit. Stenilroy makes his national debut after a sterling season with Anagon United, Naldorino drops to the reserves. Meanwhile, a massive overhaul of the team is apparent.

The Young Zucchinis:

First team:
Goalkeeper:
1 - Esh - Liguria FC (GZ)

Defenders:
2 - Larkos - Real Navara (GZ)
3 - Masuel - Real Navara (GZ)
4 - Derfindan - Anagon United (GZ)
5 - Faku - AC Lombardia (GZ)

Midfielders:
6 - Gigsi - Anagon United (GZ)
7 - Borren - Liguria FC (GZ)
8 - Ragerd - Peurort FC (GZ)
9 - Kebam - Real Navara (GZ)

Strikers:
10 - Radolno - Real Navara (GZ)
11 - Stenilroy - Anagon United (GZ)

Substitutes:
12 - Dirda - AC Lombardia (GZ) - Goalkeeper
13 - Stena - AC Lombardia (GZ) - Defender
14 - Akak - AC Lombardia (GZ) - Midfielder
15 - Shekovshen - AC Lombardia - Striker
16 - Nery - Lundan FC - Striker

Reserves:
17 - Fud - Liguria FC (GZ) - Midfielder
18 - Reyva - Lundan FC (GZ) - Midfielder
19 - Ihavisobrim - Piemont FC (GZ) - Striker
20 - Naldorino - FC Kataluna (GZ) - Striker/Midfielder
21 - Norey - Anagon United (GZ) - Striker
22 - Wekel - Peurort FC (GZ) - Midfielder
23 - Mastpay - AC Lombardia (GZ) - Defender
24 - Bamkel - Lundan FC (GZ) - Defender
25 - Vadids - Marsh Lombardia (GZ) - Midfielder
26 - Seri - Peurort FC (GZ) - Defender
27 - Sakilas - Real Navara (GZ) - Goalkeeper
28 - Onev - Real Navara (GZ) - Striker
29 - Rievi - Marsh Lombardia (GZ) - Striker

Head Coach:
Nebitez

Liverpool England fall in seven-goal THRILLER

Ralph Sirx must be wondering what did he do wrong after the under 21 team he manages fell 4-3 to an unranked Raptor Claw side. The Young Philosophers, who were off the back of a 2-1 win over the group's top seeds Aquiliana, were obviously full of confidence - going 3-0 up inside 20 minutes. However, it may have been over confidence as Raptor Claw fought back in the second half, a hat-trick from their centre forward and a last-minute penalty giving them a deserved win.

Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Lethislavania 1 1 0 0 3 1 2 3
Liverpool England 2 1 0 1 5 5 0 3
Raptor Claw 2 1 0 1 5 6 -1 3
Aquiliana 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0

-Score of Lethislavania - Aquiliana match unknown

Day 1
Group A
Cockbill Street 4 Druida 4
Hiiraan 2 Fmjphoenix 2
Group B
Jeruselem 2 Legalese 1
Big Pimento 0 Audioslavia 2
Group C
Starblaydia 2 Sarzonia 0
The Eagles Nest 1 Sliponia 0
Group D
Bedistan 3 Cacobellum 2
South Osettia 3 The Lowland Clans 3
Group E
Rejistania 3 Praying2God 0
Adam Island 3 Esth 2
Group F
Vilita 7 Oaker 1
Turori 2 Crystilakere 0
Group G
Aquiliana 1 Liverpool England 2
Raptor Claw 1 Lethislavania 3
Group H
Total n Utter Insanity 5 Ninurta 3
Giant Zucchini 4 Krytenia 1
Group A
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Cockbill Street 1 0 1 0 4 4 0 1
Druida 1 0 1 0 4 4 0 1
Hiiraan 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
Fmjphoenix 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
Group B
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Audioslavia 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
Jeruselem 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
Legalese 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Big Pimento 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0
Group C
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Starblaydia 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
The Eagles Nest 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
Sliponia 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
Sarzonia 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0
Group D
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Bedistan 1 1 0 0 3 2 1 3
South Osettia 1 0 1 0 3 3 0 1
The Lowland Clans 1 0 1 0 3 3 0 1
Cacobellum 1 0 0 1 2 3 -1 0
Group E
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Rejistania 1 1 0 0 3 0 3 3
Adam Island 1 1 0 0 3 2 1 3
Esth 1 0 0 1 2 3 -1 0
Praying2God 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 0
Group F
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Vilita 1 1 0 0 7 1 6 3
Turori 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
Crystilakere 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0
Oaker 1 0 0 1 1 7 -6 0
Group G
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Lethislavania 1 1 0 0 3 1 2 3
Liverpool England 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
Aquiliana 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Raptor Claw 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0
Group H
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Giant Zucchini 1 1 0 0 4 1 3 3
Total n Utter Insanity 1 1 0 0 5 3 2 3
Ninurta 1 0 0 1 3 5 -2 0
Krytenia 1 0 0 1 1 4 -3 0

Isn't it strange how at just the moment you start to feel down, as if you need a beer or five, something good smacks you between the teeth and you think, 'Hey, life isn't so bad after all!'? Well, one of those moments fell on me right then, just outside Klein's office. The weird guy in the other corner that nobody talks to (could have something to do with the newspaper hat) leapt out of his chair and started thumping the air.

"We drew! We drew with TLC 3-3! Woohoo, first point!" There was a stunned moment of silence before cheers started erupting from every mouth in the room. High fives, hugs, even kisses were exchanged, and it seemed that life couldn't get much better...for them. For me...I wasn't so sure. The game wasn't scheduled to be played until later that day - how could newspaper guy know the score? I decided to voice my qualms to my only real friend in the department, Zoe Dreyton. In my mind, she was more than just a friend...she was my lover. I just couldn't muster up the courage to ask here out on a date. Every night I would lie in my bed, and the last thing I would think of would be her, with me, us together.

"Hey, Yerzy, how's it going?" She was just sitting there, tapping away at the keyboard. I stuttered, as I always did around her, before asking about the scores.

"Oh, you want to know how it works? Well basically, the teams play behind closed doors in TnUI. That's so that they can get the scores sorted and the tables worked out beforehand. Then the teams play again later on publicly, but they stick to the scoreline they played out earlier. So let's say we beat Bedistan 2-1. In the public game, that exact same scoreline would come up. The officials try to keep the scores secret, but there's always someone ready to leak the information for cash. That's what newspaper guy's for - about the only thing he's good for, if you ask me."

She penned out a URL for me to look at, which I did straight away. Sure enough, there it was in black and white, South Osettia 3-3 The Lowland Clans. Nelson Fouche scored twice, on 14 and 72 minutes, and set up Darren Smoak for another on 43 minutes. TLC scored on 3, 17 and 81 minutes apparently. It looked like Bedistan beat Cacobellum too, which put the SO squad second in the group for now. Who knows how long that'll last.

Jeruselem Government News

To B or not to B

It's the U21 World Cup IX, the little brother of the World Cup XIX. The Squires aiming to emulate the heady achievements of their World Cup counterparts, were placed in Group B. Two familar faces Big Pimento and Audioslavia are in the group and Legalesem a team they have never played. A little known fact is the current World Cup team was the U21 team for U21 XIII.

No one seems to have known they played the first game while everyone was watching the World Cup games. The good news is Jeruselem beat the Lawyers (that's Legalese) 2-1 to start their campaign well. However the press will concentrate on the World Cup finals campaign but we won't forget this championship.

Audioslavia won 2-0 against Big Pimento. Incidentally they are ranked 13th in the U21 championships.

Group B
Jeruselem (8)
Legalese (17)
Big Pimento
Audioslavia (13)

Group B (Day 1)
Jeruselem 2 Legalese 1
Big Pimento 0 Audioslavia 2

Turori Eels U21

GK :: Moia liaboi ( 20 ) : Turori Youth Academy
xD :: Ialb Iaou ( 20 ) : Turori Youth Academy
xD :: Maratima Tareak ( 19 ) : Turori Youth Academy
xD :: Raoibn Olioab ( 20 ) : Titania Forests (MEL)
DM :: Julio Matengo ( 20 ) : Turori Youth Academy Vilitan
xM :: Martiia Vluka ( 19 ) : Ugiata Uglies (KZP)
xM :: Restiaa Rlain ( 21 ) : Turori Youth Academy
xM :: Raso Morre ( 20 ) : Turori Youth Academy
MF :: Martiia Rawaii ( 20 ) : Legalese City (LGL)
xF :: Jutar Ranaso ( 21 ) : O'Conner Greens (MEL)
xF :: Koiba Uviava ( 21 ) : Muginz (KZP)

Eels Electric as Crystils Crack


-----------------The Turori Eels Under-21 got off to a flying start against Regional Rivals Crystialkere in the opening match of their Under-21 9 Campaign.

-----------------Crystilakere just started to stink up the field and Turori had barely the skill to take advantage. Turori only had 11 players and no subs, and most of them were straight out of the youth academy or rejects from accross the island in Vilita. No matter how much the Crystils screwed up, the Eels just botched the play even more every time. Kaze Progressan based striker Koiba Uviava even cleared the ball off the opposing line while trying to get the final touch on a misplayed Crystilakere backpass. The guy started crying on the pitch and Turori were down to 10 men until Uviava could compose himself.

-----------------With 15 minutes to play, Uviava body slammed the Crystilakere goalkeeper knocking him unconscious and unable to continue. Apparently he felt it was the goalkeepers fault for making him cry infront of 20,000 Insane spectators and wanted to show them he was manly, or something.

-----------------Anyway, without a goalkeeper, a couple of those crappy backpasses went in the net and Turori was able to come away with a 2-0 victory, and one step closer to the next round.

Adam Island U21 Defeats Esth

<i>Feb 1985</i> - Deja vu all over again, eh? Adam Island is stuck in a group with Rejistania and Esth in the qualifying round, just like in the World Cup. Only this is the youth team, the Adam Island Under-21 squad, comprised primarily of college players that didn't make the National Team.

In their first match, AI faced up against Esth. The usually angry AI crowd seemed more friendly, as these matches are being used by the Adam Island Football Organization as a way for upcoming young stars to gain experience, and not necessarily win.

The Adam Islanders played well, but unfortunatly the contract switch between The Adam Island Times and The Adam Island Network for coverage of the games caused a lot of problems, and we were unable to get details at press time. What we can tell you though is that Adam Island won, 3-2.

Junior Vikings only manage draw after their first match since the loss in the U21WC8 Finals

After their heartbreaking loss in the U21WC8 Finals to Total n Utter Insanity, the Junior Vikings, only ranked 9th, barely drew even with 18th ranked Hiiran 2-2. Larry Brown started last Under 21 World Cup off in a big way with a hat trick, and this time was no different. Brown scored both goals for the Junior Vikings at 23 and 76 minutes respectivly. It is uncertian who scored for Hiiran, but thoughts are #1 and #2 scored the two goals at 45+ and 63 minutes.

"Obviously the boys didnt practice as much as should have, so we will be making more strides to focus on their conditioning and training so they do not ware themselves out early" Coach Flan said after the match.

Fmjphoenix: 2
(Brown 23, 76)

Hiiran: 2
(#1 45+, #2 63)

Stefan Bastiann - Goalkeeper - Of Greek heritage, Bastiann(19) is an aggressive goalkeeper who enjoys diving for the ball a little too much and takes the battle out of the penalty box(by foot) a little bit too often. While he's excellent inside the goal, he's lost quite a fw scrimmages for his team by being out of the goal when the other team gets the ball.
4
Brade Ozanna - Right Defense - Ozanna(20) is among the most experienced players on the team. Interestingly, he is not being moved to center defense despite his stability. The coach decided to leave him at right defense, where he plays a conservative game tthat consists of preventing the opposing striker from advancing the ball and not risking a mistake until his opponent makes one, and then giving it to another player on a short pass.
Claudas Meliod - Stopper - The fastest of the defenders, Meliod(17) conforms to absolutely none of the standards about how to play Stopper. Rather than toughness, his chief skill lies in setting strikers that are already guarded by the other seven players on that side of the field off-balance through what the team has termed "bumblebee" play - he chases the ball and stings the player who has it. He rearely actually has possession, instead letting it go to the other defender in the situation.
Berkil Camelon - Left Defense - "Quick" Camelon(19) is fast. You might have guessed. He has a habit of rushing up to a striker, taking the ball, and rushing away, without it looking like he stopped. When he tries that and screws up, though, it lets goals in very often. He lacks muscle and fails when forced to spend time guarding a player.
Luca Meleaga - Sweeper - A fairly slow player, and the only one on the U21 team with a great deal of muscle, Meleaga is adept at his position, but ill-suited to any other position. So he plays Sweeper, and stays there.
4
Peredur Pelleas - Far Left Midfielder - Pelleas(18) is effectively a stable person. If you really tried hard, you still wouldn't be able to find anything really extraordinary from him. He's a good player, but there are no surprises. Sucks for you.
Takashi Masayoshiako - Left Defending Midfielder - With the most complex name in the entire team, Masayoshiako(16) holds the unique honor of having more letters in his name than years of age. Masayoshiako is also the youngest person ever to complete a marathon in Ninurta, having run it for the last three years. He was expected to win in the next marathon, but he chose to join the U21 team instead, taking the risk that if they qualify he'll be out of town during the marathon. In addition to his stamina, Masayoshiako is an expert at kicking the longball.
Malcom Narnson - Right Defending Midfielder - Malcom - with only one l - Narnson(20) is very capable at man defense but suffers during the zone. He plays aggressively, for a defender, able to stop the long ball but relatively weak against a dribble. Once he has the ball, he tends to give it to Masayoshiako to kick the long ball down to a running striker.
Bernard Hamrick - Far Right Midfielder - Hamrick(18), like his counterpart Pelleas, is a stable person with no defining qualities. Some have speculated that the two are twins seperated at birth, despite the fact that the two share exactly 0 characteristics.
2
Ba Tan - Left Striker - Among the younger players on the team, second-generation immigrant Tan(18) is very quick. His stamina is fairly low, and during practice matches he rapidly became a liability rather than an asset as the team switched to the right side of the field and the more trustworthy Akando during the course of a second half.
Akando - Right Striker - Only slightly more predictable than his companion starting striker, Akando has dexterity, but no special speed - that is, he's capable of tricking defenders that overplay him, but in stretches down the field he is very weak. He becomes much more important during the second half, where his stamina keeps him playing while Tan is slowing down.

Coach
Christian Bright - 48 years old. A Ninurtan born, Bright has traveled around the world as an assistant coach, being unable to pursue a career in soccer-less Ninurta. When Ninurta relented and finally created an under-21 team, Bright returned to Ninurta , expecting an assistant job on that team. When the top choice fell through, Bright was appointed to be the coach. He supports formations made up primarily of defenders and midfielders, and trick plays involving confusing diagonal lines that he's spent much of his time with this team explaining to the inexperiences players. He tried to simplify his ideas with little success and has reversed back to his complex plans. Christian Bright is an agnostic - yes, I know - no, no, I kn- no, I know.

A quick summary:


.N.N. -- Striker
..... -- None
N...N -- Side Midfielders
.N.N -- Defending Midfielders
..N.. -- Stopper
.N.N. -- Defense
..N.. -- Sweeper
--N-- -- Goalkeeper

OOC: Please limit text length in [ code] boxes. if too much text is on one line, it FUBARs my browser.

Captain Duderson is on a small, green, light-aircraft bound for Utter Stupidity, Uhuhland. With him is Field-Marshall Heyg.

Heyg: Captain, as you may or may not have been told, this is a top, top secret mission. You will be briefed on the plane, you will be given a map, and you will be given a train-ticket. As you know we couldnt land you right next to TnUI, but the train journey from Utter Stupidity is a safe one. People generally don't question the Utterly Stupid.

Duderson: Yes sir...

Heyg: Duderson, are you aware of World Cup 11?

Duderson: Er, no, i only really got into football in WC12

Heyg: Of course, like most stoners

Duderson: Dude i was 10 at the time, i wasnt a stoner then

Heyg: Duderson you will address me as 'Sir' or 'Field Marshall' not 'Dude'. Anyway. World Cup 11 is where many top brass think we contracted 'Maggie'.

Duderson: How?

Heyg: World Cup 11 was held in Total 'n Utter Insanity. Thanks to some TnUI laws that had been in place since the dawn of time, Audioslavians are illegal in TnUI except when TnUI is hosting a football tournament. However, this didn't stop the evil TnUFBI from killing many of our players. Granted, many players died from their own stupidity, a couple died from Audioslavian's stupidity, but players like John Harrison, Nandy Yale, Jonny Willow and Steven Maplin were all killed.

Duderson: But Willow played in WC14...

Heyg: Yes, but that was only because of a brief ressurection fad.

Duderson: Oh...

Heyg: Anyway. We believe that somewhere along the line, Maggie was incorporated into one of the Audioslavian's system. We think it came from their detention camp. The surviving members of the Audioslavia team were put into a camp in Total 'n Utter Jackass, but there was never any documented evidence of how they got out.

Duderson: So why aren't i going to TnUJ?

Heyg: Because what we want isnt in TnUJ, its in TnUI, or rather, he is in TnUI.

Duderson: He? I don't understand.

Heyg: You said before you didn't know too much about WC11. Did you know anything about the players?

Duderson: I had heard that many had died, but i couldnt tell you much about anyone else apart from Lee Branson and Paul Ward, they went onto manage the national team didnt they?

Heyg: True. The other players were mainly from the WC10 squad with a few changes, but there were some more players. Players that were drafted in to replace the dead. Because of the NSWC rules, we weren't allowed to get players from back home, but we found a loop-hole. We were only allowed to use World Cup 11-registered players with Audioslavian nationality, so we did just that. We got some Youth World Cup players from other countries who had Audioslavian parentage. From Tanah Burung we got Bambam Pinto, from LE we got Cuthbert Pinto, Hugh Pinto, Pugh Pinto and Dibble Pinto, and from Oddslavo we got Grub Pinto.

Duderson: They're all called 'Pinto'?

Heyg: Yes. According to Bambam Pinto's statement before going into the detention camp, he was the illegitamite child of an Audioslavian man who visited Tanah Burung to watch World Cup 5. For years we didn't know who this 'Pinto' was, except that he was really good at seducing women, as we could tell by the amount of half-Audioslavian, half-Burungian/Lemmitanian/Spaamanian/Kingsfordian/Bedistani/whatever children there were in the world with black hair, blue eyes and the surname 'Pinto'.

Duderson: Right...

Heyg: It was only recently where we discovered information on Pinto. Do you know anything about World Cup 5 Duderson?

Duderson: No, nothing at all

Heyg: No-one does. Like the first three world cups, there is very little surviving information. All that the average Audioslavian knows is the results of the national side in that tournament, and the fact that we didn't qualify. It remains the only world cup where we haven't qualified.

Duderson: Wow, but what has this got to do with this Pinto guy?

Heyg: Pinto worked for the Audioslavian F.A. at that time, hence why he could get into all these countries when they hosted a world cup. He was also quite rich, hence why he could get all these women to sleep with him. He was also very charming, according to the reports of an AFA secretary whom we cannot name because of her ex-husband's law suit against Pinto. This meant he could get all these women to give their children his surname. Pinto's first name was 'Sanders'.

Duderson: OK

Heyg: Basically, we think Sanderson Pinto passed on Maggie to all these kids who played for Audioslavia. We think these kids passed on Maggie to the Audioslavians that they played with.

Duderson: OK, but if thats true why doesn't Maggie mess with the U21 sides from Tanah Burung and wherever the other Pintos were.

Heyg: You know the reason/

Duderson: Because they weren't in Maggie-time

Heyg: Yep. Maggie is most prominent in young footballers at the age of 20. These kids were 19, but they turned 20 in Audioslavia, and thats where hell broke loose.

Duderson: Right. So, what do you want me to do?

Heyg: Sanders Pinto lives in TnUI. Find him, get information out of him.

Duderson: But why me?!! i can't interrogate people! i dont even like people! why me!

Heyg: Because, Duderson... you are expendable...

to be continued...

Chapter Four:

Captain Duderson sits aboard the famous 'Flying Shitsman', as it rockets from Utter Stupidity to Total 'n Utter Insanity. He is still annoyed at the people of 'Utter Stupidity' and their... well... utter stupidness. He looks at his ticket. It is a one-way ticket. 'Damn' Duderson thinks. 'Theyre not expecting me to get back...'

Duderson awakes, and it is 9:00 in the morning. An elderly gentlman in uniform is prodding him.

Old Guy: Sir? Sir? Sirrr?

Duderson: Huh? Huzwuh? Uh, oh, hi.. is this TnUI?

the old guy takes a step back

Old Guy: Say... is that an Audioslavian accent?

Duderson: Aargh, er, no *puts on a Warnocks Wizardian accent* nay m'hearty, oi be a warnockian intit

Old Guy *eyeing him cautiously*: rriight, well this is your stop.... say, whats the weather like in Cornellby?

Duderson: *eyeing the old guy cautiously* i... don't... know...

Old Guy: Well.. fair enough. Bye sir...

Duderson: Yes, bye...

Duderson gets off the train and walks through the train station, muttering obscenities about his 'disguise'. He is dressed as the average TnUIan; pink tanktop, 3/4 length jeans and a cowboy hat. 'This is ridiculous' he thinks, before hailing a cab.

The cab doesn't stop. Neither does the next one that drives past, or the next. Duderson becomes impatient. Over to his left, a smart TnUIan in a suit walks out of the station and hails a passing cab by bending one leg, waving his wrist and shouting 'cooee!'. The cab stops.

Duderson: Hey, hey buddy?

Man: Yes chuck?

Duderson: How did you hail down that cab?

Man: I hailed it... thats all i did, hail it? Why? What have you been doing?

Duderson: Well, i've tried to hail cabs but we do it differently back in Audiosl... *the man is taken aback and stares at Duderson* back in Audiosla...vian...haters...club.... in Iansisle.

Man: *relieved* phew! for a second there i thought you were gonna tell me you were an Audioslavian!

Duderson: Hah! No way, im from Iansisle, came over to see the World Youth Cup!

Man: *confused* but Iansisle aren't [i]in the U21 cup...

Duderson: Um.... yes.... i said i was an Audioslavia hater, so im coming over to... erm...

Man: Hate Audioslavia?

Duderson: Yes... i hate them.... so... so much.

Man: Well......i think its your lucky day darling! guess where im going?

Duderson: Canal Street?

Man: What? No, not today, im going tooooo the Audioslavia game!

Duderson: Woah? Really?

Man: Yes! Theyre playing today! Against Big Pimento! Mumsi is half Pimentan so i'm going to see them play!

Duderson: Your mum is half Big-Pimentan?

Man: Well of course dear!

Duderson: Right...

Man: Yes! Cabbie! To the ashole game, and step on it!

Captain Duderson sits back in his chair, half happy, half worried whether 'the asshole game' is the Audioslavia football match or a somewhat unsavoury game that this man plays with tourists. Either way, Duderson is happy. He's realised something....

This man says his mum his Big Pimentan... but Big Pimento didn't exist at the time he would have been born...

The plot has indeed begun to thicken...

to be continued...

Starblaydia's Team for the 9th Under-21 World Championship Announced

Starting XI
1. Thaddeus Gonzalez, GK, 17 - Jhanna City (B)
2. Jesus Garcia, RB, 18 - Corinthian Spirits (A)
3. Fidel Khaif, LB, 20 - Tournetas (B)
4. Hurin Menegroth, CM, 20 - Tabeck FC (C)
5. Armand Gianunzio, CB, 21 - Hecia (C)
6. Metthew Tobias, CB, 20 - Montepool Waves (B)
7. Nick Matranga, L/RM, 20 - Montepool Waves (B)
8. Raphael Delgado, AM, 19 - Hallad Reavers (A)
9. Kurt Recinos, CF, 21 1 - Hersch Albion (C)
10. Darius Belizaire, SC, 17 - Iskara Daii (A)
11. Thanh Madray, LM, 18 - Iskara Daii (A)

Substitutes
12. Cody Joachim, GK, 19 - Montepool Waves (B)
13. Zachariah Loze, CB, 19 - Vecchio Victors (A)
14. Valentino Caltabiano, R/L/CB, 16 - Tabeck FC (C)
15. Keiran Rabalais, DM, 16 - Hallad Reavers (A)
16. Jack Maxios, LM, 20 - Hecia (C)
17. Stefanos Stantzos, AM, 21 - Tournetas (B)
18. Juan Silva De Souza, SC, 19 - Corinthian Spirits (A)

Reserves
19. Elwood Deangelo, GK, 15 - Tabeck FC (C)
20. Porfirio Zanueta, R/CB, 18 - Vecchio Victors (A)
21. Ryan Kovac, R/CM, 17 - Hecia (C)
22. Christos Prokopis, CM, 15 - Veles (C)
23. Syku Lyku-Agbayani, "Slani", AM/SC, 16 - Unattached

A Draw Gives More Focus, Hiiraan searches for a WIN:
The Young Oceners Leaves with a Draw:

Hiiraan has drawed the Most Baffled team in teh U21 World Cup, Hiiraa Team Has Not yet Said what happend but they addresed the lack of players not listening to in the traning, This are Not the professional U21 we expected, And To be ver Blunt, these players are Not professional, So we expect to train them up to standards, The next match will be very diffrent said U21 coach, mentioning couple players who have come up beyond expectation, "Although we lacked The majority playing as well as we wanted, we have some players who may soon change to the Main team and leave the U21 team."


Hiiraan next match is practiced on high fileds on an island near Hiiraan, all the players are presnt all are seeking to perfect the attack style they prefer, Hiiraanian are usually attacking they have never been so diligent on any other position, All of the players are expect to complete a FULL training this week, and the coaches have pronised a very good match and said "A win is not needed, BUT EXPECTED."

Young Philosophers knocked out

Liverpool England lost their second consecutive under 21 match 3-4 against Lethislavania, putting them in 3rd and unable to quaify.

Day 2
Group A
Fmjphoenix 0 Cockbill Street 2
Druida 6 Hiiraan 3
Group B
Audioslavia 0 Jeruselem 2
Legalese 3 Big Pimento 6
Group C
Sliponia 2 Starblaydia 5
Sarzonia 2 The Eagles Nest 2
Group D
The Lowland Clans 1 Bedistan 2
Cacobellum 8 South Osettia 6
Group E
Esth 1 Rejistania 1
Praying2God 4 Adam Island 3
Group F
Crystilakere 0 Vilita 1
Oaker 1 Turori 2
Group G
Lethislavania 1 Aquiliana 5
Liverpool England 3 Raptor Claw 4
Group H
Krytenia 0 Total n Utter Insanity 1
Ninurta 2 Giant Zucchini 1
Group A
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Druida 2 1 1 0 10 7 3 4
Cockbill Street 2 1 1 0 6 4 2 4
Fmjphoenix 2 0 1 1 2 4 -2 1
Hiiraan 2 0 1 1 5 8 -3 1
Group B
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Jeruselem 2 2 0 0 4 1 3 6
Big Pimento 2 1 0 1 6 5 1 3
Audioslavia 2 1 0 1 2 2 0 3
Legalese 2 0 0 2 4 8 -4 0
Group C
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Starblaydia 2 2 0 0 7 2 5 6
The Eagles Nest 2 1 1 0 3 2 1 4
Sarzonia 2 0 1 1 2 4 -2 1
Sliponia 2 0 0 2 2 6 -4 0
Group D
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Bedistan 2 2 0 0 5 3 2 6
Cacobellum 2 1 0 1 10 9 1 3
The Lowland Clans 2 0 1 1 4 5 -1 1
South Osettia 2 0 1 1 9 11 -2 1
Group E
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Rejistania 2 1 1 0 4 1 3 4
Adam Island 2 1 0 1 6 6 0 3
Praying2God 2 1 0 1 4 6 -2 3
Esth 2 0 1 1 3 4 -1 1
Group F
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Vilita 2 2 0 0 8 1 7 6
Turori 2 2 0 0 4 1 3 6
Crystilakere 2 0 0 2 0 3 -3 0
Oaker 2 0 0 2 2 9 -7 0
Group G
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Aquiliana 2 1 0 1 6 3 3 3
Liverpool England 2 1 0 1 5 5 0 3
Raptor Claw 2 1 0 1 5 6 -1 3
Lethislavania 2 1 0 1 4 6 -2 3
Group H
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Total n Utter Insanity 2 2 0 0 6 3 3 6
Giant Zucchini 2 1 0 1 5 3 2 3
Ninurta 2 1 0 1 5 6 -1 3
Krytenia 2 0 0 2 1 5 -4 0

The Sevens got their title defence off to a good start with victories over Ninurta and Krytenia. It is still possible for the Insanicians to bow out with Ninurta winning against Krytenia and a loss to Giant Zucchini, who enjoy a lot of success in TnUI having won World Cup 3 here and they also would have been Ranked 1st under RPR going into World Cup 12. Most fans predict a group win and a second round berth against the loser of Vilita-Turori.

OOC: BTW I'm getting rid of the RP cap in favour of a progressive RP Bonus System. I don't have it funny worked out yet, but it doesn't need to be ready till U21WC10.

NEWSFLASH:

A new Young Zucchini team faced off against Krytenia in their first match of the latest installment of the Under-21 World Cup. This time, the Zucchinis were the favourites, now seeded 12th in the competition. Krytenia almost gave the Zucchinis a shock early on in the match, a wicked long range curler to the top corner hitting the post in the 9th minute. Kebam had an even better chance after a scintillating run down the flank, full of flair and skill, but he failed to finish point blank in front of goal, the keeper getting a vital block. Krytenia almost made them pay for that 3 minutes later, the ball slammed into the back of the Zucchini net, but the goal was disallowed for handball. Eventually, it was the Zucchinis who found the breakthrough first, Stenilroy bringing the ball into the box with speed before placing the ball into the corner beyond the keeper’s reach. The Zucchinis doubled their lead 7 minutes later, Larkos with a swerving free kick that hit the post before ending up in the back of the net. The Zucchinis continued their goal rush, going 3-0 up in the 38th minute, with quite a brilliant goal. From a Kebam corner, Gigsi chested the ball up, flicked it over his head, then smashed the ball into the goal at close range with a flying scissors kick. Radolno had a gilt-edged chance to put the Zucchinis another goal ahead with the last kick of the first half; a poor defensive lapse putting the ball at his feet. However, Radolno’s shot hit the underside of the crossbar. Radolno had yet another chance after the break, but his shot from outside the area was punched away by the diving keeper. The Zucchini onslaught continued, Radolno’s shot was saved by the keeper, followed by a series of tackles, before Borren unleashed a tremendous shot that was brilliantly touched away by the keeper. Then, totally against the run of play, Krytenia scored. From their throw in, they dribbled through the defence before curling in a shot into the far top corner beyond the reach of Esh. They almost scored another due to some suicidal defending by Masuel, but Esh came out in time to block the shot destined for the back of the net. Ragerd finished off scoring with a long range piledriver that nestled sweetly into the back of the net. Head Coach Mr. Nebitez, “I think we played well today, scored some good goals, Larkos scored a beautiful goal, Gigsi’s goal, just brilliant skill and pure genius. On the whole, I think we created more chances and better chances, and if not for some good work by the keeper we would have been even further ahead. I’m proud of my boys today.”

Giant Zucchini - 4
Stenilroy (19), Larkos (26), Gigsi (38), Ragerd (68)

Krytenia - 1
(61)


Man of the Match: Krytenia Goalkeeper

APPRENTICES SAVE GRACE AGAINST RAINBOWS
Eight-goal Thriller Ends In Draw

After Petur Glodsson let in four goals in the ninth Under-21 tournament, the Streetian coach Sam Crispin, former manager of Vimesbairn Athletic, demanded a more Karela-like performance from his players. Against Druida - a team who are becoming more and more like a bogey team to the Streetians - the Apprentices were 0-3 down after only 15 minutes, after Glodsson had made a right fool of himself on two free-kick occasions. Trevor scored the first goal, and the same Trevor scored the second, both after the wall had been poorly placed and Glodsson failed to get up to the shot. The third goal was even more embarrassing - Olivine failed to tackle Trevor as he went through the centre, so did Pomsville, and when Trevor passed it to Trevor the Apprentices' keeper was helpless as Trevor (a new one this time) got the third goal for Druida.

Crispin immediately substituted Pomsville - who hadn't exactly had a stellar match up to then - for 20-year-old Arnar Axewielder, a talent from the little known club of Laf'goh'lith. That helped slightly, along with huge amounts of shouting from Crispin both before and after half-time. 1-3 came with five minutes to spare of the first half, Geirr Axewielder crossed the ball in and William Roberts headed it cleanly into the net.

Despite a second half goal from Trevor - giving 2-4 after Arnar Stonethrower's 2-3 free-kick - the Apprentices controlled the second half, and two more goals from Wolframite and William Roberts again weren't entirely unfair. Still, it's one point given away against the third seed in the group of DEATH - it could well be crucial.

Let’s take a look at the groups. We’ll start with the most important, the two groups of death and two groups of life.

Group A
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Druida 2 1 1 0 10 7 3 4
Cockbill Street 2 1 1 0 6 4 2 4
Fmjphoenix 2 0 1 1 2 4 -2 1
Hiiraan 2 0 1 1 5 8 -3 1

Well you have to say this is Fmj’s group of death alright. They need to beat Druida by 3 goals to qualify for the second round. I just don’t see ‘em doing it, which is a shame after their final berth last time around.

Group F
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Vilita 2 2 0 0 8 1 7 6
Turori 2 2 0 0 4 1 3 6
Crystilakere 2 0 0 2 0 3 -3 0
Oaker 2 0 0 2 2 9 -7 0

Everyone was saying Vilita would have a hard time in this group, boy they were wrong. Two matchdays in and its sown up.

Group D
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Bedistan 2 2 0 0 5 3 2 6
Cacobellum 2 1 0 1 10 9 1 3
The Lowland Clans 2 0 1 1 4 5 -1 1
South Osettia 2 0 1 1 9 11 -2 1

As expected Bedistan are dominating the group…Wait let me read what I just wrote…Bedistan are dominating the group? As expected? Hmmmm…did I take my meds…Anyway the rest of the group is open.

Group E
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Rejistania 2 1 1 0 4 1 3 4
Adam Island 2 1 0 1 6 6 0 3
Praying2God 2 1 0 1 4 6 -2 3
Esth 2 0 1 1 3 4 -1 1

Much the same as the other group of life, the only differnce being Rejistania’s slipup against Esth, which has put them in danger of being knocked out. Their final match is against the one, the only, Adam Island. Surely Rejistania’s only boogieman in recent years, we’ll be watching this one closely.

Enrique Garcia scanned the headline of the Corinthian Chronicle, his local paper, for local people.


JESUS SAVES!!!

There was also a large picture of a goalie diving to his right to save a penalty, along with a few other boxes filled with TV-captured images of the same goalie plucking a ball out of the air, or palming a shot away.

Local Lad Garcia Keeps Starblaydia On Road to Heaven

Starblaydi Right-back Jesus Garcia, local boy at the Corinthian Spirits side, kept Starblaydia at the top of Group C in the Ninth Under-21 World Championship. Though he was in Goal at the time.

With all three substitutions made in the Matchday 2 Game against Sliplonia, Jhanna City's keeper Thaddeus Gonzalez suffered a game-ending injury after a heavy fall. With no substitute goalkeeper available, Jesus took the over-sized Number One shirt and played for twenty minutes between the sticks. During this time, he conceeded two goals to the Slips, yet he saved a penalty and four other goal-bound shots, plus caught a cross or two.

Without his excellent actions, Starblaydia could have been the subject of a 6-5 defeat, or worse. But because of his incredible efforts, Starblaydia came out 5-2 winners. The fact Jesus Garcia had already scored the second goal for Starblaydia only increases his enormous contribution to the game and Starblaydia's victory.

Starblaydia (4-4-2): Gonzalez (inj 68), Garcia, Gianunzio, Tobias (Loze 64), Khaif, Matranga, Menegroth (Rabalais 64), Delgado, Madray, Recinos (De Souza 45), Belizaire,
Subs Not used: Joachim, Caltabiano, Maxios, Stantzos

Goalscorers: Menegroth, Garcia, Belizaire, Madray (2)
Bookings: Menegroth, Tobias


"Uh, Maria, did you see what Jesus did in the last game?"

"Did he play well, dear?"

"You.. er.. could say that..."

NEWSFLASH:

The Zucchinis’ hopes of a second round berth have been dealt a major blow by Ninurta, an unbelievable goal by Malcom Narson handing the Zucchinis their first defeat of the Cup. The Zucchinis started well, having the majority of the chances in the first half. Kebam shocked the Ninurta defence in the second minute with an opportunistic half-volley from a high ball into the box that ended up just wide of the near post. Narson had a half chance for Ninurta, his long range effort sailing high over the bar. From then on, it was the Zucchinis who had the lion’s share of the chances. Radolno had a decent left footed curler hit the post. Soon after, Stenilroy had a point blank shot in front of goal, but he powered the shot straight into the hands of Stefan Bastiann. Kebam had yet another brilliant chance 5 minutes from half time, yet another high ball flicked over Claudas Meliod with his first touch, before driving from close range into the sliding body of Bastiann. Finally, barely 2 minutes later, Kebam scored the goal he and all the Zucchinis deserved, Gigsi crossing the ball from the left, and Kebam volleying the ball into the ground, the ball bouncing over Bastiann and into the far corner of the goal. We do not know what Christian Bright said to his team at half time, but we do know that it worked wonders, Ba Tan with a scintillating run down the left flank at the kick off, his dribbling skills putting Faku off balance, running into the box and slamming his shot straight into the stomach of Esh, the rebound falling kindly at his feet as he slotted the ball into the empty net. The Zucchinis pushed for the winner, Ragerd’s stepovers stunning Luca Meleaga, but his shot was well blocked by Bastiann. The game then entered a stalemate, as the Zucchinis tried and failed to penetrate the tight Ninurta defence. However, as the clock ticked down on the end of the match, Ninurta started throwing bodies forward, creating chances of their own. In one of those attacks, Akando was felled by Derfindan, and the resulting free kick by Akando swerved wildly towards goal and hit the post with Esh rooted to his spot. However, only 2 minutes later, and all the Ninurta pressure would have paid off. Bernard Hamrick’s pass into the box found Akando who laid the ball up for Narson, who drifted into the box. Derfindan picked him up and stuck on him, but Narson proceeded to score one of the best goals in the history of the Cup, his backheel going through the legs of Derfindan, beating the unsighted Esh, and ending up in the far bottom corner of the Zucchini goal. Head Coach Mr Nebitez, “I must say I am gutted. Narson had no right to score that sort of goal. It robbed us the points from right under our noses. Kebam put in a lot for this match, had a lot of good chances, and scored a good goal. However, we let ourselves down in the first half for failing to put away our chances, then in the second for letting our guard down. But credit to the Ninurta keeper, he had a good game today.” Needless to say, after a good performance in goal, many clubs will be knocking on Bastiann’s door for his signature.

Ninurta - 2
Tan (46), Narson (83)

Giant Zucchini - 1
Kebam (42)


Man of the Match: Kebam

Okay I figured out the new RP System, here are the latest seedings for U21WC10.

Seed Nation
1 Total n Utter Insanity
2 Starblaydia
3 Sarzonia
4 Cockbill Street
4 Giant Zucchini
6 Fmjphoenix
7 Liverpool England
8 Turori
9 Jeruselem
9 Vilita
11 Rejistania
12 South Osettia
13 Audioslavia
14 Praying2God
15 Hiiraan
16 Ninurta

Jeruselem Government News

Lawyers lose while Jeruselem tone down Audioslavia

Jeruselem secured their position in the 2nd round toning down Audioslavia 2-0 in a showdown of the Group B favourites. While Audioslavia did threaten, it was Jeruselem who scored the goals to take all the points and lead the way to victory. The Jeruselemd defense, which was untested, held up and frustrated Audioslavia all game and allowed the attack some time to work out how to unravel Audioslavia's defense.

Big Pimento earned their name being deserved 6-3 winners over Legalese who weren't disgraced but their defense was not much to write home about. And speaking of no defense, Cacobellum 8 beat South Osettia 6 in a game where they were no defenders it seems.

Big Pimento play Jeruselem next, and need to win. Audioslavia must also win, but play Legalese who is an easier opponent. Should Big Pimento and Audioslavia win, then it's down to goal difference. We're sure Audioslavians would be cheering Jeruselem on to beat Big Pimento 4-0.


Group B
Audioslavia 0 Jeruselem 2
Legalese 3 Big Pimento 6

Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Jeruselem 2 2 0 0 4 1 3 6
Big Pimento 2 1 0 1 6 5 1 3
Audioslavia 2 1 0 1 2 2 0 3
Legalese 2 0 0 2 4 8 -4 0

The Druida Spectrums (updated for U21WC9)

Starting 11
No) Name (Age) pos.
1) Trefor Tilling (21) GK
2) Trefor Tarrent (21) LB/CB
3) Trefor Carr (18) RB/RM
4) Trefor Plant (18) CM (also LM)
5) Trefor Sam (20) CB
6) Trefor Carrot (19) CB
7) Garth Montenegro (17) CF
8) Trefor Lloyd (19) CM/CF
9) Trefor Cwm (20) CF
10) Trefor Michaels (20) CF
11) Trefor Plant (18) LM/CM

Subs
12) Trefor Richards (19) CM
13) Trefor Llew (18) GK
14) Trefor Sewers (20) CM/LM
15) Trefor Candi (20) RB
16) Trefor Rothes (19) CB (also CF)
17) Trefor Jones (21) CB (also LB)
18) Trefor Whizz (15) RM



Unnamed helper: "So who've you got to be the Under-21 manager this time around?"

President Smith: "He's Simon Greaves. Former NEWI Cefn Druids manager and old mate of Trevor Kallins. Why? We aren't messing up again, are we?"

Unnamed helper: "Well, er, no. Well, not yet, anyway."

President Smith: "What do you mean, not yet?"

Unnamed helper: "Well, he got us a draw against Cockbill Street, and he beat Hiiraan."

President Smith: "He beat Hiiraan!?!?! At last, none of the last few have managed that!"

Unnamed helper: "Now we just have to avoid a heavy defeat against Fmjphoenix, and we're through to the knockout stages!"

President Smith: "You did say Fmjphoenix there, didn't you?"

Unnamed helper: "Er... yes, sir."

President Smith: "And where was it you told me they got to last time?"

Unnamed helper: "Er... the final, sir."

President Smith: "We're doomed, aren't we!"

Unnamed helper: "Er.. yes, sir."

President Smith: "Should we just sack him now?"

Unnamed helper: "Um... I suggest we give him a chance, sir. It might end up OK, then you'd look a fool."

President Smith: "But after we've lost..."

Unnamed helper: "If we lose, you can."

Of course, a promising start is usual accompanied by a fall, although I wasn’t quite expecting it to be so soon, or quite so spectacular.

It wasn’t long after I had learnt about the two-match system, and I was fixing myself a coffee when I heard a rather loud groan behind me. I turned to see newspaper guy about an inch from my face – it startled me into spilling my coffee all over him. Funnily enough, he didn’t seem too bothered about the scalding hot liquid drenching his trousers; he was just repeating the numbers 8 and 6 over and over again.

“8-6…8-6…8-6…how can we score six and still lose? 8-6…8-6…8-6…to Cacobellum as well!” Without warning a smile spread across his face as wide as the Bible is long (and that’s very) and he took up a different mantra. “We are ranked twelfth in the world though…twelfth in the world!” Then he went back to depressed newspaper guy. “8-6…8-6…8-6…” and so the cycle continued. For a second I wondered whether newspaper guy was some kind of schizophrenic freak, but I soon realised my mission was to get out of there before his undulating tones drove me insane. As I ran, shouts of ‘8…6…12!’ followed me, like spirits destined to haunt me forever. I clasped my hands firmly over my ears and ran…ran out of the department, as far away from that strange man as possible.

I decided to buy a new coffee from the Starbucks across the road. As luck would have it, by the time I got there, Starbucks had been knocked down and replaced with an Internet-café. I decided to check up on the U21 team’s progress whilst munching on a danish. Sure enough, when I typed in the URL Zoe had given me earlier, the latest score popped up on screen – Cacobellum 8-6 South Osettia, just like newspaper guy had said. I almost choked on my danish, a cause for concern for the owners of the establishment, who were already on their final warning about suspicious deaths in their café. I read on a little further and checked out all the details. The information was bogging me down, so I penned a list in what looked like chronological order:

1: Cacobellum score
7: South Osettia score
15: South Osettia score
23: Cacobellum score
34: South Osettia score
37: Cacobellum score
47: Cacobellum score
52: Cacobellum score
61: South Osettia score
65: Cacobellum score
73: South Osettia score
82: South Osettia score
87: Cacobellum score
89: Cacobellum score

A fourteen-goal thriller with all the trimmings – something I had dreamt about for years, but had never seen before today. I almost cried then – not tears of sadness over the defeat, but tears of joy for living to see such a glorious game. At that moment I learned an important lesson: it’s better to die trying then to succeed cheaply, and I saw that it applied not just to the sport, but my entire life.

I saw that Bedistan had beaten TLC 2-1, putting them top, Cacobellum second and us last on goal difference. That meant our last game was against Bedistan, and it was must win to stand a chance of going through. A near impossible task was presented to us, but I knew that if we tried our damnedest, we would receive glory in return, someday…

WARRIORS PUZZLED OVER LACK OF DEFENSE

The Praying2God Warriors have spent the last couple of days looking within themselves to try to figure out why they are having so many defensive breakdowns in the U21WC. Through two games, they have already given up six goals, three each to Rejistania and Adam Island. However, they did manage to miraculously put four in the Adam Island net to gain a split of their first two games. Next on the schedule is Esth, who just played to a 1-1 draw with Rejistania. People throughout Praying2God are now optimistic that their team will qualify for the next round. They could potentially steal the group yet with a win and either a draw in the Rej/AI match or if AI wins by three or more goals fewer than the Warriors win by. Soccer experts from around the world are starting to consider the Warriors a serious threat to qualify, and if they do, anything can happen.

JESUS SAVES!!!

The Streetian professor of Foreign Grafitti would like to add:

"But Elkjær scores on the rebound."

Yes, the Cubs are back again, and they think it's been too long since they took home the Under-21 World Cup. Expect them to put up one hell of a fight this time around.

The Bedistan Cubs - Ninth Under-21 World Cup Squad

GK: Jonathan Pinto (half-Audioslavian)
D: Edith Platz
D: Sam Wilkinson
D: Quentin Phillips
D: Victor O'Higgins
M: Carl Chapman
M: Zack Martínez
M: Thomas Mannheim
M: Lloyd Roberts
F: Victoria O'Higgins
F: Charles Tuck (half-Kingsfordian)

Still alive, but barely breathing

Interim national team coach Cal Trottier knew he'd have to sew up a trip to the knockout stages to earn the right to prowl the sidelines for the Junior Stars after replacing Terry Mangione as field boss. His charges still have a chance after their 2-2 draw against The Eagles Nest, but they'll need help from group frontrunners Starblaydia.

The Junior Stars need Starblaydia to beat The Eagles Nest in the group stage finale and have a win over Sliponia and the combination must be more than three goals for the Stars to advance on goal differential. The Eagles Nest can clinch a spot with a draw against Starblaydia or a loss or draw by Sarzonia, while Sliponia (0-0-2, 0 points) is eliminated from contention.

"We'd have liked to have won our match and then both of us would need to win to advance to the next round," Trottier said. "You'd rather control your own destiny, but we're going to need to get help. Everything depends on our doing our part though."

The Junior Stars certainly started out like a team that was going to bow out of the tournament early. They gave up two goals to Sliponia in the first 12 minutes of the match, forcing Trottier to make a goalkeeper change. The change to Harvey Cooley seemed to settle the team down, and Cooley made four saves the rest of the way as the Junior Stars prevented further damage.

Sarzonia (0-1-1, 1 point) didn't get on the scoreboard until the early going in the second half, but forward Liam Dudley ended the team's 147 minute druoght with a penalty kick in the 48th minute that got the team back into the match. Midfielder Brent Tallisman knifed through The Eagles Nest defense and knocked a header through the goalkeeper's legs for the equalizer with just four minutes left in regulation. The goal kept the Junior Stars alive, but barely.

"We're on life support," Dudley said. "But it's better than being buried. We've still got a game left."

Junior Vikings hit hard by Cockbill Street, lose 2-0 and sit in a tough spot

The Junior Vikings took a tough lose against a strong Cockbill Street team losing 2-0 in a very odd low scoring match.

Normally, Under 21 World Cup Matches are lots of scores and thrilling moves. This match was not much as the Junior Vikings could not get into any type of rythem and Goalkeeper Franklin Carbillo surrendered two early goals at 13 and 27 minutes. The second half was mostly going back and forth with Cockbill beating out Fmjphoenix with 5 more goals on target than the Junior Vikings. The Streetian goalkeeper kept a perfect slate throughout the match as they held the Junior Vikings scoreless for the first time in their history.

Larry Brown sat out a good portion of the second half due to a minor ankle sprain. He will be fine for the next match against Druida. Speaking of the match against Druida, they need to defeat the Druida U21s by at least 3 goals to ensure qualification. Look for the Junior Vikings to come out with a vengence and thirst to qualify for the second round and not fail to qualify for the first time.

Losing my religion
The Orange-Blues defeated Praying2God with a clear 3:0. The Warriors hail from a christian background while the rejistani players are atheists, inikresaists, buddhists and Lata~n Je is even a zen buddhist, but in the entire team is no single christian. We do not know whether it was the different religious basis, which caused many fouls to happen, but we know that the match was overshadowed by several yellow cards and one send-off.

The System Jesejil of the Orange-Blues met a System Imdila of the warriors. Venesil Sajita was the first one to recieve a warning due to unfair play, the resulting free kick was saved by Memakira Hsi. The rejistanis used the occasional attacks to challenge the warriors' defense and Tasi Kansu-Ira archieved the lead in one of them. In the match, which was interrupted far too often by the strict referee and the aggresive play from both sides, Praying2God had some good chances, but was unable to finish due to lacking experience and the rejistani defense. In the 32nd minute, Kansu-Ira'he had another 100% chance and apparently the goalkeeper lacked concentration for one second. The half time score was 2:0. In the pause, some clashes between the fans of both sides occurred, apparently because one side accused the other to be heathen. Kansu-Ira'he apparently wanted to leave the game, because a rude foul after being warned is a bad idea. The Orange-Blues were down to 10 men and concentrated mostly on defense. The only good chance was a free kick in the 64th minute due to a foul on Syku Raju. Hiti Hidi scored and increased the score to the final 3:0. Since this is a match of a rejistani team, the rest of the match consisted of System Karela to defend the lead.

The result:
Rejistania 3 (Kansu-Ira 16th 32nd, Hidi 64th)
Praying2God 0

King Phoenix III: What is wrong with the U21 Football team?

Man in Black Suit: I don't know sir, they have only 1 point out of two mathces, they appear to be strugling.

King Phoenix III: This is not good at all. THey need help, what can we do.

Man in Black Suit: I do not know, we need them to regain the focus theat brought them to the finals last cup.

King Phoenix III: What is wrong, do they need more money. I can give them that. Women, food what man. TELL ME!!!!

Man in Black Suit: Calm down sir, everything will be taken care of. I have to go get tickets for a flight so I can go do a little digging to find out whats wrong.

King Phoenix III: Right right, whatever. Do your work. Who are they playing next time?

Man in Black Suit: Druida sir.

King Phoenix III: Okay, well I want you to send someone to go to the stadium where the match will be and have them do something to distract the other team. I want them unfocused.

Man in Black Suit: Umm. Okay, I guess.

King Phoenix III: YES!!! I have it! Have a pizza sent to each player and coach of the Druida team and make sure there are explicit instructions to eat it all before the Match. Then they will be to full to play.

Man in Black Suit: (under his breath)what an idiot... (aloud) Yes sir, although you may want to reconsider, I don't see how that will work well...

King Phoenix III: Have them sent out NOW!!!!!!

Man in Black Suit: Sir.

Esthquality

The Young Orange-Blues drew against Esth 1:1. Both sides played rather defensively thoughout the entire match, but two mistakes in the respective defenses caused the 1:0 in the 44th and the 1:1 in the 88th minute. Meiyra Neve interviewed the coach of the team and the co-coach, which means with Siki Rej and Hexatux. We do not know who holds which position.

MN: Hejida Rej'he, Hejida Hexatux!
Siki Rej: Hejida Neve'he!
Hexatux bleeps through a terminal
MN: Can Hexatux follow our interview?
SR: No, I can translate questions directed to him.
MN: I just wondered... Are you satisfied with the performance of the young Orange-Blues?
SR: Why shouldn't I be? The Orange-Blues were unlucky in the last match, surely. They could have won, they won 3:0 against Praying2God... they have all chances to qualify. Might ask me that question again when the Orange-Blues are eliminated...
MN: What is Hexatux's opinion?
Siki Rej starts typing, waits a bit and says then: Difference Should/Is: 5.8963
MN: What does this mean?
SR: It's a rather meaningless indicator just to give you some data.
MN: I see. Adams Island is an opponent, who caused caused loads of trouble for the real team, what do you expect?
SR: I do not want to make predictions.
MN: and Hexatux?
Siki Rej starts typing again and finally says "1ja0" then the screen suddently blanks, he tries to type something, hits on 'enter' with an extreme wrath, waits a while, in which nothing happens, says: 'Sorry, Hexatux just fainted about your question, I'll call the emergency!' and hurries off.

"Okay, people, we've got a headline to write," said the editor of Sports Magazine 5-Star, "Starblaydia Under-21s beat The Eagles Nest Five-One on Matchday Three and make it to the Second Round of the Ninth Under-21 World Championship, advancing to the Second Round for the sixth time in seven attempts, ready to play the Runner-Up in Group A."

"That's an awful headline, chief," piped up his Iansisle-Hockey-Team-Mudslinger, "Too much information."

"You're an idiot." The editor replied, "What ideas have you all got?"

"You Suck?"

"No," the Editor said after a moment's thought, "we did that for the Eight-One over Oaker in the last cup."

"Eagles Late for Black Gate Showdown?"

"No, you've watched Return of The King too many times, fanboy." The editor screwed up his nose. "Get out."

"Belizzimo?"

"Too complicated," the Editor replied instantly, "I know Belizaire got a hat-trick, but think of our reader's average IQ. I mean, you've seen the crossword entries."

"Eagles Nest Defence Made of Straw?"

"Brilliant!" The editor spat out his cigar, setting fire to a nearby photographer. "Let's Use it!"

Starblaydia (4-4-2): Gonzalez (Joachim 45), Garcia, Gianunzio (Caltabiano 78), Tobias, Khaif, Matranga, Menegroth, Delgado, Madray (Maxios 85), Recinos, Belizaire,
Subs Not used: Loze, Rabalais, Stantzos, De Souza

Goalscorers: Belizaire (3), Delgado, Matranga
Bookings: Madray, Khaif

Day 3
Group A
Cockbill Street 1 Hiiraan 3
Druida 1 Fmjphoenix 4
Group B
Jeruselem 5 Big Pimento 0
Legalese 0 Audioslavia 1
Group C
Starblaydia 5 The Eagles Nest 1
Sarzonia 5 Sliponia 2
Group D
Bedistan 6 South Osettia 0
Cacobellum 5 The Lowland Clans 8
Group E
Rejistania 1 Adam Island 0
Praying2God 3 Esth 2
Group F
Vilita 0 Turori 0
Oaker 4 Crystilakere 0
Group G
Aquiliana 5 Raptor Claw 1
Liverpool England 3 Lethislavania 4
Group H
Total n Utter Insanity 4 Giant Zucchini 4
Ninurta 3 Krytenia 3
Group A
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Fmjphoenix 3 1 1 1 6 5 1 4
Druida 3 1 1 1 11 11 0 4
Cockbill Street 3 1 1 1 7 7 0 4
Hiiraan 3 1 1 1 8 9 -1 4
Group B
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Jeruselem 3 3 0 0 9 1 8 9
Audioslavia 3 2 0 1 3 2 1 6
Big Pimento 3 1 0 2 6 10 -4 3
Legalese 3 0 0 3 4 9 -5 0
Group C
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Starblaydia 3 3 0 0 12 3 9 9
Sarzonia 3 1 1 1 7 6 1 4
The Eagles Nest 3 1 1 1 4 7 -3 4
Sliponia 3 0 0 3 4 11 -7 0
Group D
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Bedistan 3 3 0 0 11 3 8 9
The Lowland Clans 3 1 1 1 12 10 2 4
Cacobellum 3 1 0 2 15 17 -2 3
South Osettia 3 0 1 2 9 17 -8 1
Group E
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Rejistania 3 2 1 0 5 1 4 7
Praying2God 3 2 0 1 7 8 -1 6
Adam Island 3 1 0 2 6 7 -1 3
Esth 3 0 1 2 5 7 -2 1
Group F
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Vilita 3 2 1 0 8 1 7 7
Turori 3 2 1 0 4 1 3 7
Oaker 3 1 0 2 6 9 -3 3
Crystilakere 3 0 0 3 0 7 -7 0
Group G
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Aquiliana 3 2 0 1 11 4 7 6
Lethislavania 3 2 0 1 8 9 -1 6
Liverpool England 3 1 0 2 8 9 -1 3
Raptor Claw 3 1 0 2 6 11 -5 3
Group H
Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Total n Utter Insanity 3 2 1 0 10 7 3 7
Giant Zucchini 3 1 1 1 9 7 2 4
Ninurta 3 1 1 1 8 9 -1 4
Krytenia 3 0 1 2 4 8 -4 1

Under 21 World Cup 9
Top
2nd Round Quarter Finals Semi Final

Fmjphoenix (9) -------------
| ----------------------------
Sarzonia (10) -------------- |
| ----------------------------
Jeruselem (8) -------------- |
| ----------------------------
The Lowland Clans ----------

Starblaydia (2) ------------
| ----------------------------
Druida (14) ---------------- |
| ----------------------------
Bedistan (3) --------------- |
| ----------------------------
Audioslavia (13) -----------

Under 21 World Cup 9
Bottom
2nd Round Quarter Finals Semi Final

Rejistania (4) -------------
| ----------------------------
Lethislavania -------------- |
| ----------------------------
Vilita (5) ----------------- |
| ----------------------------
Giant Zucchini (12) --------

Aquiliana (7) --------------
| ----------------------------
Praying2God ---------------- |
| ----------------------------
Total n Utter Insanity (1) - |
| ----------------------------
Turori (11) ----------------

U21WC10 Seedings
Seed Nation
1 Starblaydia
2 Fmjphoenix
3 Rejistania
4 Sarzonia
5 Total n Utter Insanity
6 Jeruselem
7 Cockbill Street
7 Giant Zucchini
9 Liverpool England
10 Turori
11 South Osettia
12 Praying2God
13 Bedistan
14 Vilita
15 Audioslavia
15 Druida

Young Orange-Blues win against the 'team that must not be named'

The young Orange-Blues showed that the future for Rejistanian soccer might be bright despite world cup !9 being assumed to become a large writeoff: The rejistani U21 team defeated the U21 of A... I..., well, you all know who I am referring to.

According to rumours, the young Orange-Blues were hypnotized to think that this match is against a more neutral opponent other sources say not hypnosis but hallucigenic drugs caused the team to think they play against an not as traumatic opponent. Coach (or co-coach) Siki Rej countered the accusations with a big grin and the answer: "No, but if you told me before the match, we would!" The Hexatux was not available for comment.

The Orange-Blues played the most defensive System Karela, the opponent could imagine. In the first half, the Orange-Blues never left their half and allowed the opponent no single chance. Rejistani fans cheered at this style of match and celebrated every time, the opponent's attack was spoiled by the 10 men defense. Also most of the second half happened in this schema but then suddently the Orange-Blues did the unthinkable: a sudden counter-attack of Tasi Kansu-Ira in the 80th minute surprised the opponents completely and caused the 1:0. Since the Orange-Blues started their System Karela after that again, the 1:0 was the final score.

The result:
Rejistania 1 (Kansu-Ira 80th)
Adam Island 0

"Bloody Druidans!" shouted one fan, "we ain't not made it to the Quarter-Finals for fifteen bloody years!"

"Dude," said the other, "you need to calm down. And get a life. And quit with the double-negatives."

"I don't need no advice from you, 'dude'. Two-One? Bloody Druidans!"

Though Darius Belizaire had scored for Starblaydia at some point during the match, two Druidans scored for their Test-Card-Rainbow nation. One of whom was Garth Montenegro. Montenegro? Wasn't there a Lucia Montenegro who played for the Starblaydia Women's Team at the short-lived Kaza '08 Olympics? Wow, she's like 36 now. Is that the same Montenegro? Sheesh, thank god for teen sluts, ladies and gentlemen, creating top-class footballers in any given nightclub bathroom on a saturday night.

Do you think he took his mother's name instead of some silly Druidan one? Maybe he was going to be Garth... um, Garth Forftown-Effcee. Hell, I dunno. Can we get a researcher to check that out? Great.

This isn't going to be good for Starblaydia's Under-21 programme, though, as this looks to be one of the best sets of young players since, well, ever. The 'keeper is good, the defence is strong, the midfield is excellent, and the strike force aint half bad either. Well, there's always two years time, as it'll be the year before the Starblaydia/Druida-hosted World Cup. Maybe that'll give them a boost to kick the ass of every other bunch of young upstarts in the world.

Did you hear that Giant Zucchini clubs are queueing up to buy Jesus Garcia from the Spirits? I tell ya, one massive pun-enfused headline about a player and every man and his dog wants to buy him. Three Million Pounds would be a good price. At least thats what Spirits' Manager Boaz Myhill told me yesterday. That's the ball-park figure, they say.

Starblaydia (4-4-2): Gonzalez, Garcia, Gianunzio, Tobias (Caltabiano 54), Khaif, Matranga, Menegroth (De Souza 76), Delgado, Madray, Recinos (Stantzos 61), Belizaire
Subs Not used: Joachim, Loze, Rabalais, Maxios

Goalscorer: Belizaire
Bookings: Menegroth, Recinos, Belizaire, Delgado

Jeruselem Government News

Audioslavia through as Jeruselem win BIG

In Group B of the U21 World Cup IX, Audioslavia survived through to the next 2nd round after they beat Legalese 1-0 as required and had hoped Big Pimento lost their game. Jeruselem did them a favour and wiped BP off the face of the World Cup 5-0 to be the No 1 team for Group B. The bad news for Audioslavia is they now meet Bedistan, the 3rd seed.

Jeruselem face The Lowland Clans who are unranked but progressed to round 2 so they aren't exactly spring chickens. They came second to ... Bedistan in Group D who won all their games so far. Incidentally, Jeruselem and Bedistan could meet in the semis.


Group B
Jeruselem 5 Big Pimento 0
Legalese 0 Audioslavia 1

Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Jeruselem 3 3 0 0 9 1 8 9
Audioslavia 3 2 0 1 3 2 1 6
Big Pimento 3 1 0 2 6 10 -4 3
Legalese 3 0 0 3 4 9 -5 0


...

Jeruselem Government News

How low can you go?

Jeruselem met The Lowland Clans in the 2nd round of the U21 World Cup IX. One team had to lose and Jeruselem lost to Fmjphoenix (who made the VIII finals) in the 2nd round of VIII. Was it close? Did Jeruselem lose? None of the above

The score was Jeruselem 7 The Lowland Clans 1. It was one-sided and 8th ranked Jeruselem showed the unranked TLC the sharp end of the finals when it scored 3 goals early then 4 in second half as if it was not enough. TLC did manage a goal but they needed a few more to make the quarter finals.

New U21's coach Rabbi Goldstein who took over as David Becks is managing the World Cup XIX team was pleased "We don't play the attacking style, really. Scoring 12 goals in two games using 4-4-2 formation is pretty good but our opponents weren't the strongest. The Quarter final is our real test. We want to be champions, not wannabes!"

Fmjphoenix or Sarzonia are Jeruselem's next opponent and both will not be easy opponents like TLC was.

Jeruselem management said to Jeruselem clubs had not approached Jesus Garcia for offers. "We've had the real Jesus, if he played for Jeruselem we wouldn't need a team of eleven" one coach said.

And now, Episode Five of Taking a'Nutter In Secretly

Duderson and the strange 'Pimentan' get out of the cab and walk into the TnUIan stadium. Well, 'stadium' is a bit of a misnomer, its really a car-park with benches round the side and some grassy bits in the middle. Audioslavia's U21 side are warming up with the Pimentan side

Man: Boo! Hiss! Go home ASholes!

Duderson: Er, yeah! Damn you Audioslavia! You big poopoo heads!

Man: Heh, nice one, that really told 'em!

The game begins. Audioslavia race into a two-goal lead which they keep until the break

Man: NO! NO Pimento! KICK THe, KICK THE BALL! AT THE GOAL! NO NOT TO THAT ASHOLE! NO! ASHOLE TURN ROUND! HEY I'M TALKING TO YOU!

Duderson: Er, yeah! Go home! Stop kicking the ball, grrr!

Man: What the HELL do those ASholes think theyre doing? *under his breath* what is Maggie playing at?

Duderson hears the man, but doesn't take on and instead, stares at the pitch. Audioslavia come close to scoring again, and the man gets up

Man: Hey chuck, you coming?

Duderson: Huh? Wuh? Oh y... the match hasn't finished yet

Man: Come on petal, Big Pimento aren't gonna win, lets go eat something

Duderson: Ok man

The two leave and get into a nearby taxi. The man tells the driver where to go. The driver is offended at the man's rudeness.

Driver: Hey, don't be so mean, where do you want me to take you to?

Man: To Easter Road please chuck

Duderson: Easter Road? Whats on Easter Road?

Man: Its this cool bar, the High Bee. They do food, excellent bangers and mash

Duderson: Why do they call it a high bee?

Man: Well, you have to eat your food like youre a bee.

Duderson: A bee thats high?

Man: Yes.

Duderson: ...so how do bees eat?

Man: Well they don't have any knives or forks, right?

Duderson: Right..

Man: And neither does the High Bee. See?

Duderson: So you use your hands to eat bangers and mash?

Man: Does a bee have hands?

Duderson: Umm...

Man: No, no it doesn't. You eat with your face. You bend over in front of the plate, put your face in the food and eat the bangers and mash like that.

Duderson: Ok, but why?

Man *pondering*: I don't know... maybe its because most of the people there just enjoy putting sausages in their mouth and getting white stuff all over their face.

Duderson: ...

to be continued...

Episode Six

Duderson and the man are in the bar. The man orders bangers and mash with extra creamy mash. Duderson has a coffee. The two men sit down

Duderson: So, you've never actually told me your name

Man: Well, neither have you

Duderson: You first.

Man: Mike. Mike Day.

Duderson: Mike Day? I thought they outlawed the name Mike over here?

Mike: No, that was just in Oglethorpia

Duderson: They outlawed the use of that word in this country too...

Mike: *worried* Yes, but... *laughs* were friends here, whats an Ogle between friends. Hehe

The man buries his face in his bangers and mash and comes up sucking on a sausage. Duderson looks at Mike reprovingly

Duderson: Y'know, im gonna nip to the toilet, back in a sec

Mike: Mmf, mmfffffm

Duderson goes to the urinals in the toilets, unzips and lets go. He feels a presence nearby. Duderson cranes his neck to look behind him and sees a TnUIan, about thirty years old.

TnUIan: Well hello there duck, hows it 'hanging'?

Duderson: Er, hi man... i see you've been eating mash...

TnUIan *smiling*: Mash? Oooh i don't like potatoes honey

A man gets out of the cubical next to the TnUIan, smiles at him, zips his trousers back up and walks out. Duderson turns back to face the wall quickly. He notices another presence. Its Mike, standing in front of the urinal next to him. Mike smiles and winks at Duderson, and looks downwards. He stares for a couple of seconds. At first Duderson is embarassed, but then he looks down at himself, and his embrassment turns to horror. Mike looks at Duderson's 'mini duderson', looks back up at Duderson's big head, and then back down to his little head.

TnUIan: Ooh, hello there Mike, i see you've got another little friend, or is it a big friend? Hmm? Hmm?

Mike: Erm.. chuck..

Duderson: Uh oh..

The TnUIan leaves them to it

Mike: Why am i reading the words 'Geniune Cock-Ring of the Audioslavian Football Association' on your little man?

Duderson: Erm... well...

Mike: Are you.. Audioslavian.. duck?

Duderson: Erm... er... well...

Duderson does the only thing that he thinks will save him. With a quick movement of his left hand, he reaches over and tugs Mike's zip back up to the top, whilst Mike is still 'releasing'.

Mike *screaming*: AAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHH!

Duderson *grabbing a nearby fire extinguisher*: Take THAT!

*THUNK*

Mike lays on the floor, unconscious. Duderson stands over him and looks around for anyone who may have seen him. Realising the coast is clear, he picks up Mike's legs and starts to drag him towards a cubicle....

to be continued...

Stars slip past group stage, 5-2

The Sarzonian Under 21 national team competing in the ninth Under 21 World Cup may not end up being the most successful Junior Stars team ever, but it certainly may end up being the most memorable. Needing to defeat Sliponia and have Starblaydia defeat The Eagles Nest and have both results combine for more than a three goal differential, the Stars took care of their part 5-2. Starblaydia defeated The Eagles Nest 5-1.

Sarzonia (1-1-1) will advance to the knockout stages for the first time since World Cup 7, and for the first time under interim Coach Cal Trottier. The team got a hat trick from forward Liam Dudley and goals from midfielders Karey Lewis and Edward Manley and goalkeeper Tom Beneditto turned aside four shots to notch his first World Cup win.

"We needed everyone to step up today and that happened," Trottier said. "I'm proud of the guys for playing their hearts out when all seemed lost."

The Incorporated Football Federation made two announcements after the win, announcing that Trottier would have the interim tag removed from his job title and would become the team's new head coach and announcing that Chairman Buddy Landry was retiring for "personal reasons." Former Under 21 national team coach Terry Mangione is widely rumoured to be negotiating for the job.

"We can't worry about the goings on with the Federation," Lewis said. "We've got to play our own game and just let everything else happen."

NEWSFLASH:

It was the Zucchinis’ first match in the knockout stages of the Under-21 World Cup. They could not have chosen a worse opponent; Vilita, who had given the Zucchinis, both senior and junior, all sorts of havoc on the pitch. Little did either side know that it was to be one of the most breathtaking matches of the Cup thus far. Vilita went on the attack right at the outset, Antonis Siazzu providing a defence-splitting pass, Christian Sanou running into the ball from deep, unleashing a shot first time, but Esh was well positioned and pulled off a breathtaking reflex save. Sanou then almost scored again from the resulting corner, Maurizio Sala taking the corner, passed it to Sanou who was on the edge of the area, and then Sanou slalomed his way through the whole defence in the box before trying to chip Esh, but the ball dipped too late and hit the top of the crossbar. Barely 11 minutes into the game, Kebam had a golden chance to take the lead; Gigsi’s perfect cross from the left fell at the feet of an onrushing Kebam who directed the ball at goal with his first touch, but Delain Falcón was in a good position and deflected the ball away from close range. Derfindan had a rare chance in the 31st minute, a long distance smash at goal, but the ball whizzed past the wrong side of the post to Falcón’s relief. Finally, 5 minutes before the break, Gigsi put the ball in the back of the net for the Zucchinis with a spectacular goal, a 40 metre half-volley lash at goal that dipped into the top corner. After the break, the Zucchinis were keen to increase their lead, Kebam squaring the ball to Radolno in the box, who pulled the ball back away from the sliding defenders and unleashed a powerful left-footed shot at the near post, but Falcón was there to block the ball. Vilita had a chance of their own in the 52nd minute, Siazzu’s pass finding Riccardo Appolloni, who was clear on goal, but once again Esh was well positioned to make a good save from the shot at the far post. 2 minutes later, Stenilroy had an excellent chance to increase the Zucchinis’ lead, Ragerd’s long ball beating the offside trap, but Falcón read Stenilroy well and dived at his feet as he tried to round the keeper, regaining possession of the ball, and leaving Stenilroy gutted. By now, the chances were coming thick and fast, Sanou with an opportunistic volley that hit the far post. Eventually, it was Vilita with the equaliser that arrived next. Sala cut in from the right flank, and from outside the area, unleashed an unstoppable left-footed shot that went straight as an arrow into the far top corner. The team, high on confidence, scored another that would put them ahead for the first time in the match with a spectacular goal by Adjei barely 4 minutes after their equaliser. From a Vilita counterattack, Adjei received the ball behind the halfway line. From there, he raced his way through the Zucchini midfield and defence, making quick turns that put his opponents off-balance before flying into the box and slamming the ball into the top corner from close range with Esh visibly stunned. Nevertheless, the Zucchinis were determined to put up a fight, Gigsi scoring the equaliser only 3 minutes after going behind. Kebam provided the cross, and Gigsi in the box thumped the ball into the net from close range with a powerful half-volley. Radolno put the Zucchinis ahead barely 10 minutes from the end of the match, a Kebam throw in was allowed to bounce in the box, and Radolno with an opportunistic touch sent the ball over Falcón and into the far corner of the goal. Just as the Zucchinis thought the match was theirs for the taking, Inaki Soler’s low cross across the area was poorly dealt with and Sala tapped in the equaliser at the far post to bring the match into extra time. The Zucchinis dominated over a visibly tired Vilita team, but still failed to find a breakthrough. Radolno’s backpass found Stenilroy 5 minutes into extra time, but Stenilroy’s shot was high and wide. Then, right at the end of extra time, Gigsi’s cross was well headed by Borren in the box, but the keeper made a last gasp diving save to deny the goal. So then, it was onward to penalties. Appolloni and Adjei comfortably buried their penalties, and so did Radolno and Stenilroy. Soler’s penalty was unstoppable, while Gigsi’s penalty hit the post before going in. Sala threw Esh the wrong way, and so did Ragerd. However, Esh anticipated Siazzu’s penalty and palmed it away, giving the Zucchinis a lifeline. Kebam took full advantage, his penalty striking the crossbar before bulging the back of the net, and giving the Zucchinis a long awaited Quarter-final slot. Head Coach Mr Nebitez, “I must say I’m really proud of my team today, Sanou was a real threat, and Falcón played really well, but Gigsi was the difference between the sides today. If he continues performing to this kind of standard, I have no doubt that we will go far in this competition.”

Vilita - 3
Sala (64, 90), Adjei (68)

Giant Zucchini - 3
Gigsi (40, 71), Radolno (80)


Man of the Match: Gigsi

"And now for today's sports news, here's Sal Benny."

"Thanks Greg. We take you to Total N' Utter Insanity for the second round game between Sarzonia's Junior Stars and Fmjphoenix. Yes, folks, the Junior Stars advanced to the knockout stages.

"In the 27th minute, Karey Lewis makes a great steal in midfield and fires a ROCKET of a shot into the back of the net. Look at him run to the sidelines and... he MOONED THE CROWD! Oh my goodness! That'll get him a fine! It also got the Junior Stars a 1-0 lead.

"Fmjphoenix would come right back, just four minutes later when Bruce Chen steals the ball from Henrik Bastale and look at that curling shot past Tommy Beneditto. It's now 1-1 in the 31st minute. Make it 2-1 in the 32nd minute. Penalty kick! Bastale becomes a bastard for taking down Chen in the area. Simple finish for Larry Brown.

[cut to shot of Sarzonian Coach Cal Trottier's head down]. "And Cal Trottier's not liking the looks of it. Looks like he said the word 'slani'. It's the first documented appearance of a Sarzonian using a Rejistani word. It wouldn't be the last as midfielder Jason Mitchell steals the ball from -- who else? -- Bastale. It's now 3-1 in minute 44. Sarzonia would get one goal back thanks to Carter Buck's header in the 74th minute but it wasn't enough. Final score from TnUI, 3-2 Fmjphoenix. The Stars are going home. I'm Sal Benny. Back to you Greg."

"And now for today's weather, brought to you by the good people at the Portland Iron Works. Sandy?"

AI U21 Team Loses

Feb. 1985 - Adam City After a three-game long group play round, the Adam Island Under-21 Football Team is out of the World Cup for youth. Underneath the media radar for most of the tournament, the squad comprised primarily of high school and underclassmen university players went 1-2, and lost even to Rejistania's youth team.

"Would you like another danish? They're on the house just for this afternoon." I realised that this was probably some clever ploy to try and get me to buy shares in the business (that happens a lot in this country), so I declined politely...although obviously not politely enough, as she stamped on my foot five times and punched me on the nose. She then repeated her question. Funnily enough, I accepted her offer the second time. She smiled, and took a big gulp of air, as if she was about to deliver a well-practiced speech.

"You know, in this economic environment that we live in today, it's more important than ever before to grab a piece of the action whilst you can. Shares currently stand at 8p each, and it would be to your great benefit to buy a few hundred or so today..." I got out of there before I was physically forced to sign my life away.

When I got back to the SOFA U21 department, everybody was cheering, hugging each other, the tears fully flowing, as they obviously had been for some time. Newspaper guy was on a table in the center of the room, as if he was orchestrating the whole event, waving a piece of paper randomly in the air and whooping with delight. Could it be...could we have beaten Bedistan? Zoe saw me from across the room and started to run over, a smile spread wide across her face. I held out my arms, ready to receive a hug and the good news.

"We got thrashed 6-0!"

Not quite the news I was expecting, but I accepted the hug nonetheless, before putting on a facial expression that said something along the lines of 'Why the hell are we celebrating a massive defeat like this?'

"We got the worst goal difference and conceded the most goals in the competition! We also scored the most goals out of all the teams finishing last in their groups! We've made history!" Then she gave me a peck on the cheek. As she pulled away she stared longingly into my eyes, as I stared longingly into hers. Slowly she went in for a second bite of the cherry...

Then I woke up. I had fallen asleep in the Internet-cafe. It seemed that the proprietors had thought I was dead, and had attempted to hide me under a dishcloth, which I nonchalantly tossed onto the floor, to the vexation of the female owner. I made my way back to the SOFA offices, and when I got there, everybody was cheering, hugging each other, the tears fully flowing, as they obviously had been for some time. Newspaper guy was on a table in the center of the room, as if he was orchestrating the whole event, waving a piece of paper randomly in the air and whooping with delight. Could it be...could we have beaten Bedistan? Zoe saw me from across the room and started to run over, a smile spread wide across her face. I held out my arms, ready to receive a hug and the good news...as well as the kiss.

"We got thrashed 6-0, bitch!"

I got a slap instead. She stomped off and everybody kind of glared at me, as if it was my fault. Yet again, not quite what I was expecting...

(OOC - this was the most fun I had RPing whilst losing at the same time. Expect something similar from now on.)

WARRIORS ADVANCE TO 2ND ROUND

The Praying2God Warriors defeated Esth 3-2, and advanced to the 2nd round of U21WC IX when Adam Island fell to group champion Rejistania, in a match being played simulataniously to the Warriors/Esth match. Considering that the Warriors squad is made up of high school players (not those who are playing for the national team), their success has been quite remarkable. They will meet Aquiliana in the 2nd round.





WARRIORS CAN'T FIND ATTACK

The Praying2God Warriors found their defense in the last couple of matches, but their attack mysteriously disappeared in their 2nd round match with Aquiliana. The end result was the Warriors being eliminated 1-2, on a goal in stoppage time in the 2nd half. The Warriors have to consider their debut in the U21WC a rousing success though, as they were not expected to advance out of group play. The Warriors will be back, hungrier than ever in U21WC X.

The Bedistan Sports Digest

BFA to Cut U21 Funding
'Money's just not there,' says spokesman

AMISSVILLE -- With gate receipts at Bedistan Premier League matches seeing a bit of a downturn, the coffers of the Bedistan Football Association are looking a bit...empty. The BPL's temporary and indefinite suspension certainly will not be helping matters either. As a result, the BFA is having to look for ways to save money, and it looks like the youth program will be the hardest hit.

"It's painful to have to do it," said BFA financial advisor Ed Burrell, "but if the money's just not there, then sometimes that's how it goes."

Some conspiracy theorists, however, think that the Association is just using it as a cover story for why the talent of both the junior and senior national teams has been flagging in recent years.

3-0-0
Bedistan U21s top group? WTSH?

TOTAL N UTTER INSANITY -- Cacobellum, the Lowland Clans, and South Osettia. Admittedly not the toughest group the Cubs could've drawn. Still, though, Bedistani national teams have a tendency to do what they have to to make it to the knockout stages, and not one iota more. So why are they wrapping up the group stage this time around with a full nine points?

"Because Mag--er, Margaret, wanted it to be so," said an unidentified man on the street in TnUI. Exactly who this "Margaret" is remains to be seen, and we think the man may have been on drugs at the time. LSD kills, man.

The first match saw a Bedistani side almost reluctant to win the ridiculously easy match. Some say this is due to what happened at the 8th Under-21 World Cup, the first one in a while where the Cubs had won their first match. They proceeded to get knocked out in the quarterfinals by the host nation. Eventually, the Cubs decided they should at least try to put on a good show for the viewers back home, and they squeezed out a 3-2 win.

After that came the Lowland Clans. TLC had participated in past U21 Cups, so this reporter isn't entirely certain why they were unseeded. Stupid Insanicians. At any rate, the match was a bit more difficult, but still no huge challenge. A 2-1 win for the Cubs put them top of the group with six points and officially through to the second round with another match to go.

So really, the Cubs had nothing to lose when they played South Osettia, while SO had two options: win by at least two goals and hope TLC won, though by less than SO, or win by at least four goals, along with (a) a TLC win by three or less or (b) a TLC-Cacobellum draw (and if the draw had a sufficiently low score, a three-goal win for SO would work as well). So, of course, the gentlemanly thing to do would be for the Cubs to let South Osettia win this one, right? Not a chance. Six goals went by the Osettian keeper by the time the final whistle blew, without a single goal in reply. Three wins, no draws, no losses, and good times for the Bedistan U21s.

Their second round matchup will be against the infamous Audioslavia, whom a Bedistani side defeated in the final of the fourth Eagle's Cup, bringing home Bedistan's first trophy for an over-21 team. The Child Laborers will be looking for revenge, and 'tis the Cubs' job to oppress them like the junior 'slaves they are.

BEDISTAN 3 (Victoria O'Higgins 53, 66; Tuck 73)
CACOBELLUM 2 (32, 58)

BEDISTAN 2 (Mannheim 40, Tuck 65)
THE LOWLAND CLANS 1 (74)

BEDISTAN 6 (Tuck 5, 16, 52; Victoria O'Higgins 33; Chapman 49; Phillips pen 69)
SOUTH OSETTIA 0

Junior Vikings beat Druida 4-1, barely manage 1st in group

With needing to outscore their opponent by 3 points to ensure qualification, the Junir Vikings did just that. They went out and played a tough Druida U21 squad, but managed to pull the needed 3 goal difference and won 4-1.

Bruce Chen struck first for the Junior Vikings, as they went up 1-0 at the 6th minute, but Druida struck right back at the 10th minute with a snapshot goal to tie it up. Then Larry Brown Strikes Back. He comesback with two shots at both 23 and 26 minutes andput the Junior Vikings up 3-1. During the second hlaf, it was Jason Mitchell with the heroics, as he scored the final goal at the 84th minute to put FMjphoenix up 4-1 and into the second round.

With the win and 1st in Group A, they advance to play Sarzonia in the second round. Lets see if the Junior Vikings can ride the magic like last U21WC into the finals.

Junior Vikings continue roll, prepare for rematch from U21WC8

Fmjphoenix U21 squad chose the right time to get hot, as they won by exactly 3 goals to qualify for the knockout round of competition, and also as they got goals from Bruce Chen, Larry Brown, and Jason Mitchell, continue on as they defeated Sarzonia 3-2 in the second round.

It started off with Sarzonia scored first from a rocket by Karey Lewis that got past Franklin Cabrillo in the 27th minute. But Bruce Chen came right back in the 31st minute to curl one over Tommy Beneditto after stealing the ball from Henrik Bastale. After Bastale took Chen down, Larry Brown finished the ensuing kick to put the Junior Vikings up 2-1 in the 32nd minute. Then comes the 44th minute when midfielder Jason Mitchell makes a strong statement by stealing from Bastale again to fire one through Beneditto to put Fmjphoenix up 3-1. Carter Buck salvaged a meaningless goal from Sarzonia in the 74th minute to put it to 3-2, but that was as close as they would get. Fmjphoenix would continue its run in TnUI for a second straight cup with the 3-2 victory.

But now the Junior Vikings need to be ready as they go on to face a fierce Jeruselem team that the Junior VIkings upset on the way to the Finals in U21WC8 by the score of 3-0 AET. It was a suprising upset as Bruce Chen, Jason Mitchell, and Larry Brown sealed the fate with not one or two, but three goals in the shootout after time expired. Don't look for it to be the same this time around as I am sure that Jeruselem has not forgotten and plan on fighting just as fierce as the Junior Vikings to try and move to the semi-finals

Fmjphoenix: 3
(Chen 31, Brown 32, Mitchell 44)

Sarzonia: 2
(Lewis 27, Buck 74)

Second Round
Fmjphoenix 3 Sarzonia 2
Jeruselem 7 The Lowland Clans 1
Starblaydia 1 Druida 2
Bedistan 1 Audioslavia 3 AET
Rejistania 1 Lethislavania 0 AET
Vilita 3 Giant Zucchini 3 AET
Giant Zucchini won 5 - 4 on penalties
Aquiliana 2 Praying2God 1
Total n Utter Insanity 1 Turori 1 AET
Turori won 5 - 3 on penalties

Under 21 World Cup 9
Top
2nd Round Quarter Finals Semi Final

Fmjphoenix (9) -------------
| Fmjphoenix (9) -------------
Sarzonia (10) -------------- |
| ----------------------------
Jeruselem (8) -------------- |
| Jeruselem (8) --------------
The Lowland Clans ----------

Starblaydia (2) ------------
| Druida (14) ----------------
Druida (14) ---------------- |
| ----------------------------
Bedistan (3) --------------- |
| Audioslavia (13) -----------
Audioslavia (13) -----------

Under 21 World Cup 9
Bottom
2nd Round Quarter Finals Semi Final

Rejistania (4) -------------
| Rejistania (4) -------------
Lethislavania -------------- |
| ----------------------------
Vilita (5) ----------------- |
| Giant Zucchini (12) --------
Giant Zucchini (12) --------

Aquiliana (7) --------------
| Aquiliana (7) --------------
Praying2God ---------------- |
| ----------------------------
Total n Utter Insanity (1) - |
| Turori (11) ----------------
Turori (11) ----------------

President Smith: "It's OK, I heard it on the radio. We lost the last group game 4-1 to Fmjphoenix, we got knocked out, didn't we?"

Unnamed helper: "Actually sir, we..."

President Smith: "I'll get on the phone to Greaves now, tell him he's sacked."

*President Smith picks up the phone.*

Unnamed helper: "Sir, I wouldn't do that if I were you."

President Smith: "But... why not?"

Unnamed helper: "Well, for a start, it wasn't Greaves' fault."

President Smith: "It wasn't?"

*President Smith puts the phone down.*

Unnamed helper: "Apparently, they just ate some dodgy pizzas, and were all feeling a bit dodgy during the game."

President Smith: "Well, what's he feeding them pizza for anyway? That's no sportsman's food!"

*President Smith picks the phone up again and starts to dial.*

Unnamed helper: "Sir, they still got through."

*President Smith puts the phone down again.*

Unnamed helper: "A freak set of results meant that we edged through ahead of Cockbill Street."

President Smith: "It took a freak set of results for us to get through? That's not very good, is it?"

*President Smith picks the phone up again.*

Unnamed helper: "But sir, the team have gone on to beat Starblaydia and Audioslavia since then! They've made the semis!"

President Smith: "Well why didn't you say? We beat Starblaydia!?!?!"

Unnamed helper: "2-1, sir."

President Smith: "And Audioslavia?!?!?"

Unnamed helper: "5-3, sir."

President Smith: "Well why didn't I know about all this?"

Unnamed helper: "Sir, it might well have something to do with the fact that you smashed your radio up after the fourth Fmjphoenix goal went in, and you still haven't bought a new one."

President Smith: "Oh. Well, I guess Greaves gets to keep his job, then."

Unnamed helper: "Sir?"

President Smith: "I said, Greaves gets to keep his job."

Unnamed helper: "But sir, this is the Under-21 World Cup, and we are Druida. We're supposed to comically sack our manager at this point of the cup every time. It's virtually a tradition!"

President Smith: "Well, not this time. Greaves has done great stuff to get us this far, we can't go around sacking him!"

Unnamed helper: "OK, fair enough, sir..."

Jeruselem Government News

Jeruselem make semi as the Fmjphoenix fails to rise

Jeruselem met Fmjphoenix in the quarter finals of the U21 World Cup 9. The last time they met, Fmjphoenix won in overtime 3-0. This time Jeruselem wanted revenge. For all purposes, it was a game where both teams deserved to win but they will be only one winner. Would Fmjphoenix fly out of the ashes and into the sun, or would Jeruselem slay the Phoenix with it's sword of God?

Jeruselem won 3-2 to get into another semi-final. While the defense was less than perfect, the attack clicked and 3 goals was enough to win the game. Would Jeruselem meet Starblaydia, Bedistan or Audioslavia?

None of the above, it was Druida! Druida beat Starblaydia then Audioslavia (who beat Bedistan). To Jeruselem, Druida are an unknown quantity. Jeruselem have played Starblaydia, Bedistan and Audioslavia, but never Druida.

The Karelatux strikes back

The Orange-Blues defeated the Lethislavanian U21 team with the help of the Karelatux. The tactical orders of math-logical-device nicknamed as 'Karelatux' were again making the match either the dullest kind of 10-0-0 soccer you ever saw or the most entertaining defenisive soccer, you saw outside of Karela, depending on where you come from. The 'fighting greens' changed from their reasonably offensive tactics to a total kamikaze, which would have caused numerous chances for the Orange-Blues if they would have actually thought of attacking. Streetian fans in the crowd, still despairing after a goal-difference knock-out (where their team, incredulously, scored less goals than someoen else) demonstratively turned their backs to the game, rejistani fans, who are tired of 'hetaki tekne' soccer by SyLy cheered at any stopped chance and celebrated the 0:0 as other nations would celebrate a two-digit lead. In the last minutes of extra time, the Streetian fans would have experienced a beautiful goal by Xkeliko Saru: When no one expected the Orange-Blues to leave their half anymore, a sudden counter attack was started. The figthing greens could not react adequatly and the Orange-Blues went ahead. The 1:0 was the final score. The next opponent of the young Orange-Blues will be the resurrected zucchinis.

The result after extra time:
Rejistania 1 (Saru 118th)
Lethislavania 0

Quarter Finals
Fmjphoenix 2 Jeruselem 3
Druida 5 Audioslavia 3
Rejistania 1 Giant Zucchini 1 AET
Rejistania won 12 - 11 on penalties
Aquiliana 5 Turori 2

Under 21 World Cup 9
Top
2nd Round Quarter Finals Semi Final

Fmjphoenix (9) -------------
| Fmjphoenix (9) -------------
Sarzonia (10) -------------- |
| Jeruselem (8) --------------
Jeruselem (8) -------------- |
| Jeruselem (8) --------------
The Lowland Clans ----------

Starblaydia (2) ------------
| Druida (14) ----------------
Druida (14) ---------------- |
| Druida (14) ----------------
Bedistan (3) --------------- |
| Audioslavia (13) -----------
Audioslavia (13) -----------

Under 21 World Cup 9
Bottom
2nd Round Quarter Finals Semi Final

Rejistania (4) -------------
| Rejistania (4) -------------
Lethislavania -------------- |
| Rejistania (4) -------------
Vilita (5) ----------------- |
| Giant Zucchini (12) --------
Giant Zucchini (12) --------

Aquiliana (7) --------------
| Aquiliana (7) --------------
Praying2God ---------------- |
| Aquiliana (7) --------------
Total n Utter Insanity (1) - |
| Turori (11) ----------------
Turori (11) ----------------

Jeruselem gets revenge, defeat Fmjphoenix in semi-finals

This time around the Junior Vikings didnt get everything going at the time it needed it most. Jeruselem held on for a 3-2 victory and avoided a second straight loss to the Junior Vikings in the knockouts of U21WC Football.

Larry Brown and Jason Mitchell score the two goals for the Junior Vikings, both in the second half at 67 and 78 minutes respectivly. Jeruselem scored al three goals in the opening half and built a strong lead, but nearly let it leave and almost blew the match.

With this lose, the Junior Vikings had a semi-respectable response to the finals run of last cup. Although they do not get to play for a spot this cup, there is always next time.

Shadowy Figure: "Yes?"

Lackey #362: "Audioslavia have sent someone to find out about 'Maggie'."

Shadowy Figure: "Duderson."

Lackey #362: "You know?"

Shadowy Figure: "You aren't my only lackey. Be gone."

Lackey #362 leaves.

Shadowy Figure: "Lucy."

Lucy: "Yes Colonel?"

Shadowy Figure: "I've told you don't call me that."

Lucy: "Yes...Sir?"

Shadowy Figure: "Better. Checkup on Agent 6's progress, he should have reported in by now. Also summon the Aquiliana Manager, we need to have words."

Jeruselem Government News

The clash of Gods, monotheism wins ...

Jeruselem met Druida in a semi-final of the U21 World Cup 9. No one knew what to expect when Jeruselem, a perenial finalist, met Druida who had knocked off many well known teams on it's pagan rampage to the semi-final.

The fans were not disappointed with the quality of the game as many had billed it as the clash of the soccer Gods too. It was Jeruselem, land of monotheism religions vs Druida, from the assumed Celtic traditions with their many Gods. The result was seven goals but one team could win. It was Jewish God who smiled and disbanded the hopes of the Celtic ones.

Jeruselem struggled earlier as the unusual Druida tactics caused havoc with the defense geared for Bedistan-style teams. Two early goals to Druida early got Jeruselem worried as they had to really right to get to final. They pegged one back through free kick specialist Yuro Spiros, a Greek Orthodox Christian, hammered home a curler near the end of 1st half. Druida 2, Jeruselem 1.

The second half Druida had to put up with a desperate Jeruselem who scored an equalize when a corner resulted in another Jeruselem goal. Minutes later Druida lead again as they took advantage of a lack of defense. The Squires refused to give up and fought on but Druida held up. Druida 3, Jeruselem 2.

5 minutes left and things looked bad. God was not listen apparently. Then Yuro Spiros decided to have a shot from 30m and fired a screamer. The Druida keeper didn't know what just eluded his grasp and into the goal. A game of ping-pong concluded the game where the Druida goal square was the hot spot as Druida tried to clear the ball. A bad deflection off a Druida defender into his own goal gave the game to Jeruselem.

The Bedistan Sports Digest

ASholes' Revenge
Eagle's Cup champions knocked out of U21s in second round

TOTAL N UTTER INSANITY -- Well, it had to happen sooner or later.

Once again, it seems, the win-the-first-match-of-the-group-stage-and-then-go-out-ridiculously-early-thanks-to-a-team-you-should-NOT-be-losing-to curse has struck the Cubs. Perhaps even more humiliating is the fact that the loss here was to longtime rivals and fellow Eagle's Cup IV finalists (whom we beat there, by the way) Audioslavia. Oh sure, the Cubs put up a good fight, dominated play for most of the game, yadda yadda yadda. Those damn ASholes just got lucky a couple times and managed to come up with a 3-1 scoreline.

That's what we'd all like to think. Watch out, I'm going to go on a rant about the declining state of football in Bedistan again.

I know most of you remember the glory days when we were able to thrash all comers save Rejistania, and were powerful enough to make the World Cup finals. This was only eleven years ago, mind you, at WC16. Now look at us. Our youth program has gone to pot, and with less money being pumped in by the BFA, it's all downhill from here. The seniors aren't doing much better, and now they won't have a successful youth pool to draw from either. Second-worst team to qualify for WC19, and the latest released rankings show our nation saying goodbye to the top ten and indeed hanging on to the top twenty by a thread.

Prepare for a long, rough road ahead, my footballing friends. We're on our way back to the hell that was the WC11 era. Let's just hope this isn't a one-way ticket we have here.

BEDISTAN 1 (Victoria O'Higgins 41)
AUDIOSLAVIA 3 (15, 77, 84)

"This was lucky!"

The Orange-Blues defeated the Young Zucchinis on penalty kicks after the regular and extra time ended even at 1:1. A long series of penalty kicks led to the unpredecended score of 12:11. Coach Siki Rej commented: "This was lucky! I guess we will not win any match in this cup because that used up all luck!" the Hexatux only bleeped and spit out a large series of numbers, incomprehensible for anyone but Siki Rej.

The match saw a System Jesejil from the Orange-Blues against the System Imdila of Giant Zucchini. The fact that rejistani soccer changed was highlighted by the fact that the sarcastic 'hetaki tekne' chants did not occur this time. Tasi Kansu-Ira could not play in this match because he injured himself by falling down a flight of stairs when he wanted to leave the hotel. The match saw some chances for both teams due to the fact that the Orange-Blues did not only defend. The zucchinis took the lead in the 42nd minute, when a misunderstanding in the rejistani defense between Syku Kansu and Kansu Syku allowed it for Stenilroy to get into good position and shoot past Memakira Hsi. The young Orange-Blues equalised in the 56th minute in a counter attack. Syku Linu, who started instead of Tasi Kansu-Ira, scored for the Team. Despite some chances for both teams, regular time ended 1:1. In extra time, both teams played a bit more aggresive in an attempt to avoid the lottery which is called 'penalty kicks', but both defenses prevented them to be succesfull.

The wind in the stadium was steadily increasing during the match and it contributed to making penalty kicks not a question of skill but of luck, even more than they are normally. Gusts of wind made even easy shoots unkeepable for Hsi'he and Esh (or Esh'he as we do not know the right way to address a Giant sentient Zucchini). The wind decided the match more or less: Mikidilanevesery "Miki" Lanaveradamitanu used the right moment when no wind intercepted (even though he risked waiting too long) and scored the 12:11. The wind started again when Gigsi shot, but the direction changed a slight bit, which made the shot only hit the post and the Rejistanis advance into the semifinal.

The result:
Rejistania 1 (Linu 56th)
Giant Zucchini 1 (Stenilroy 42nd)
Rejistania advanced 12:11 on penalties.

Adjei arrested in Fake ID bust

------------------Yeaddin Owls AFC and Vilitan Under-21 International forward Julei Adjei was arrested late last night in a fake ID bust that caught over 32 youngsters in the club hotspot of Lunat-Icland, Total n Utter Insanity. The youngster who has been unimpressive in Vilita, got the call to the Under-21's at the request of the Yeaddin Owls staff, hoping that he could build a partnership and learn from Yeaddin teammate Riccardo Appolloni by partnering him on the international stage. Adjei got off to a rocky start, but finally cashed in by scoring in the 68th minute against Giant Zucchini. However, Adjei's moment in the sun was short lived after it was his skied penalty that saw the Zucchini's advance to the Quarter Finals at the Jungle Kitties expense. The match had ended 3-3 after extra time, with Maurizio Sala adding to his opener in the 90th minute to keep Vilita in the match.


ooc: no i dont know where this came from but i thought it was more fun than regurgitating GZ's brilliant report. TnUI correct me on the name of your club hotspot :)

Aquilliana Karela

Roles were reversed for this match: Not only the fact that the Falcons and not the young Orange-Blues advanced, but also the fact that the Falcons played a veritable System Karela and forced the Orange-Blues ionto an attacking role, which they did not really like, or rather: don't like at all. The climax of the role reversal was the fact that the Falcons scored in a counter-attack during extra time. The Hexatux reacted after 20 minutes of the match like its predecessor in the U21 final: it overloaded and crashed. Siki Rej himself has not too much experience but has seen nearly as many matches as the Hexatux has data of and so he was not as perplexed with the situation as the Streetian operator of the Hexatux 1.0 was. but it cannot be denied that Siki Rej made some strange substitutions, which might be considered a reason for this loss. After the match, Siki Rej said: "<CENSORED> this <EXPLETIVE DELETED!>, I thought I found that <THINK OF THE ADULTS> bug, for <BLEEP>'s sake!" and started bashing unanimate objects, the Hexatux commented by making the sounds, it makes when starting up.

The Orange-Blues will play in the vinali tikira against the Trefors of Druida, a nation, which unlike its former main nation NEWI Cefn Druids is known for succeeding but shares the same passion for absurdity.

The result:
Aquiliana 1
Rejistania 0

Vilitans send Rejistanian support

---------------------The Vilita & Turori FA have sent support to Rejistania to help them cope with the defeat to Aquiliana. The slani Aquilians have gone on a menacing run since announcing their desire not to participate in the competition, and had previously knocked out the Turori Eels Under-21 side from their best ever performance in the cup.

---------------------Rejistania, a perennial favorite for the Under-21 title, and #1 rank in the senior world, will have to settle for the 3rd placed matchup. Vilita, runners up in Under-21 World Cup III, have been unimpressive in the Under-21 Championships every season since, with the exception of their Under-21 World Cup Seven championship the Vilita Jungle Kitties have no Semi-Final appearances since.

NEWSFLASH:

Young Zucchinis arrived at the Giant Zucchini International Airport to a resounding homecoming welcome. The Zucchinis have done remarkably well this time round, losing the quarterfinals to Rejistania by a whopping 30 minutes worth of a penalty shootout. Head Coach Mr Nebitez, "I'm extremely proud of my boys this time out. I'm especially proud of Gigsi, he's been a real inspiration to the team, and I'm sure under those conditions no one blames him for missing that penalty."

Gigsi Blamed!

...was the headline of the paper the Shadowy Figure was reading. The Aquiliana Manager stumbled into the room and politely coughed. The Shadowy Figure pressed the intercom.

Shadowy Figure: "Lucy."

Lucy: "Yeah?"

Shadowy Figure: "Do you think you could announce people are here, instead of just shoving them in my office."

Lucy: "That'll cost ya extra."

Shadowy Figure: "You just can't get the staff. Now, word on the street is you don't agree with Maggie."

Aquiliana Manager: "It's inhumane, I tell you."

Shadowy Figure: "Funny you didn't say that when we paid you so well."

Aquiliana Manager: "You are putting their lives at risk, and for what? Greed, sheer greed."

Shadowy Figure: "I made you, I can break you."

Aquiliana Manager: "If someone doesn't hear from me tomorrow they will go public with the details."

Shadowy Figure: "Is that a threat?"

Aquiliana Manager: "No, its a counter to your threat to kill me."

Shadowy Figure: "We don't kill people here, we have much more unpleasant means."

The Aquiliana Manager gulped. A long silence ensued.

Shadowy Figure: "Sorry, was it my line?"

Aquiliana Manager: "Prepare for the Final."

Shadowy Figure: "You best leave, you have to prepare for the Final."

The Shadowy Figure grinned as the Aquiliana Manager left and then gave out an evil maniacal laugh.

Semi Finals
Jeruselem 4 Druida 3
Rejistania 0 Aquiliana 1 AET

Seed Name
1 Jeruselem
2 Rejistania
3 Fmjphoenix
4 Total n Utter Insanity
5 Starblaydia
6 Bedistan
7 Sarzonia
8 Vilita
9 Giant Zucchini
10 Audioslavia
11 South Osettia
11 Praying2God
13 Turori
14 Druida
15 Cockbill Street
16 Liverpool England

GRAHAM CITY SUN
U21 Team to be overhauled, funding to be proposed

GRAHAM CITY - Today, ASFA announced that the U21 program, touted to be highly secretive and highly trained, turned out to be a flop as the last couple of U21WCs, and will be overhauled after the disastorous 7-1 loss to Jeruselem Tow weeks ago. A new organization to run the U21 program, now designated the Junior Talent Development Branch, or Jutadeb, has been created and staff at ASFA are combing the world for people to run the branch. A small group of ex-WC players such as Mark Jeremy and Jeff McKay have signed on as positions yet to be announced.

ASFA also announced that recent funding from the Federal government will mean a revival of that organization, shattered after accusations that ASFA was involved in the kidnap and muder of the Turori national squad. Staffed with an entirely new core group of fans, ex-players, and businessmen, ASFA and Jutadeb will be responsible for all football related items. A revival of the ASPL as well as a massive new funding proposal for the U21 program are two new items on the agenda for the Board of Directors.

Darkness has fallen in TnUI. The Cafe in which Duderson attacked Mike Day has just been closed. The front doors are locked, the back doors are locked, the toilet is locked... but there are two people inside. One of these people, Duderson, is in a locked cubicle with the words 'Out of Order' scrawled on them. The other, Mike, is slumped over the toilet bowl, still unconscious.

Duderson: Mike... Mike...

Mike: ...

Duderson: Mike.... tsh

Duderson flushes the toilet, grabs Mike's head and puts it in the bowl. Mike awakens and starts thrashing his arms about. As Duderson releases him, Mike turns round and looks up at him. Duderson is standing over him, holding the fire extinguisher that he used to brain the TnUIan/Pimentan/Whatever.

Mike: Wha... wht... hey...

Duderson: Good evening, Mike, or should i say... '006'

Mike: I don't know what youre talking about, 'AShole'

Duderson: Thats 'captain AShole' to you. Just WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU

Mike: Why should i tell you?

Duderson: You know what this is that i'm holding?

Mike: Its a fire extinguisher.

Duderson: Correct. A CO2 fire extinguisher.

Mike: And?

Duderson: See how i'm holding it? With my hand away from the big plastic thing at the top? Why do you think that is?

Mike: I don't care

Duderson: I think you do. Its because, my friend, the CO2 that comes out of here, when it does come out, is well below 0 degrees centigrade, and well below zero degrees farenheit. For the sake of argument, its pretty fucking cold. If i were to spray this in your face, you would get frostbite, and you would probably die, especially when i beat this thing into your skull. Kapeesh?

Mike: ...what do you want.

Duderson: I want to know who you work for, what you want with me, and why you haven't already killed me.

Mike: I'm not telling you. I guess you'll have to kill me.

Duderson: Mike, you do realise, if i spray this, not only will you die...

Mike: Don't care.

Duderson: ...not only will your head be so frozen that you'll look like a paticularly ugly ice cube...

Mike: Dont care.

Duderson: ...but it will absoloutely ruin your hair...

Mike is visibly taken aback, and stares at Duderson in horror

Duderson: ..but.. of course, you don't care, and you wont talk so... g'nite bitch

Mike: No! No no please, ok ok, i'll tell you everything, everything you want to know just.... dont... ruin... my... hair.

Duderson: Good. Now... who do you work for?

Mike: The Undercover Federation of Secret Hired Investigators and Terrorists, AudioSlavian Division

Duderson: the TUF-SHIT?

Mike: Yeah

Duderson: Are you involved in the TnUFBI?

Mike: Unofficially, yes, tey hire us to investigate and to.. well.. terrorise... Audioslavians

Duderson: So you were about to terrorise me?

Mike: Yes, but i had to investigate you first, to assess the threat you posed. I had to make friends with you and see what you were like, what you were going to do etcetera

Duderson: And you're agent 006?

Mike: Yeah, number 6

Duderson: Who is number 1?

Mike: YOU are number 5

Duderson: What?!

Mike: Sorry, no, thats from a TV program

Duderson: Ah. OK. Theres one other thing i want to know

Mike: Whats that?

Duderson: You muttered something under your breath earlier, in the game. You said 'Maggie'.

Mike (to himself): shit...

Duderson: Shit?

Mike: So thats what youre here for. God damnit i knew it

Duderson: Knew what?

Mike: That you'd find out about Maggie.

Duderson: Who IS Maggie?

Mike: I don't know

Duderson: Liar! Liar you do know! Tell me!

Mike: Seriously, i'm sorry i don't know, its classified, i don't have access to that information

Duderson: And who does?

Mike: Only the top three men in the business

Duderson: And they are?

Mike: I can't tell you

Duderson: Fair enough, then youre about to use the strongest hairspray ever known to mankind

Mike: AAargh no OK OK, i can tell you what i know about them... don't touch the hair, please...

Duderson: Go on...

Mike: Number three is called Barney, Barney somethingorother, don't know his surname. He's the assistant to the head of the TnUFBI. Number two is the head of the TnUFBI, and the most feared man in the corporation. He's known to have at least ten kills under his belt, all Audioslavian. I don't know his name, but people still call him the 'Colonel' sometimes, even though his official title is now 'President'. He's old now and doesn't do as much killing.

Duderson: And number one?

Mike: I don't know, i just don't know. Seriously.

Duderson: ...hm, fine. One last thing, you know who Sanders Pinto is?

Mike: Pinto? That name rings a bell... ah, Barney used to go drink with him. He was never part of the TnUFBI, but he was Barney's friend, some say 'informant'.

Duderson: Informant? On what?

Mike: I dont know, it was years ago. Besides, Sanders Pinto died thirty-odd years ago, during WC11 i think. If he was alive now he'd be like, sixty or so.

Duderson: right... shit... no wait thats good... i can go home, surely...

Mike: What?

Duderson: Yes! Yes! All they wanted me to do was find Sanders Pinto, and he's dead! I can go home!

Mike: What about me?

Duderson: What about you?

Mike: Aren't you going to kill me?

Duderson: Erm, no...

Mike: But if you don't, i can just go back to base and tell everyone where you are.. Besides, everything's locked now, you can't get out

Duderson: True, looks like we'll just have to wait til morning then won't we?

Duderson steps out of the cubicle, still carrying the fire extinguisher. He starts to relieve himself in the urinal. Mid-flow, however, he is startled by six huge 'BANG' sounds, as the locked toilet door suddenly aquires six holes around the handle. Duderson swings round to see the door bang open. Mid-swing, he catches Mike behind him and smacks him accidently on the temple with the extinguisher. Mike falls to the floor, and a woman steps through the doorway

Lucy: Games up Duderson....

To be continued...

Iaou Implicated in Fake ID Scandal

--------------------The Total n Utter Federal Bureau of Investigation released today a list of names of the persons under survelliance for the use of fake ID's in the Total n Utter Insanity night club region this week. In addition to Vilitan Under-21 striker Julei Adjei, and a host of other Under-21 footballers competing in the Under-21 World Cup Championships held in Total n Utter Insanity, Turori's Ialb Iaou was being held for questioning. Iaou is widely known as the worst member of the Turori Eels Under-21 side, notable for his defensive blunders that resulted in a pair of own goals in the Quarter-Final defeat to the non-participant Aquiliana.

--------------------The Total n Utter Federal Bureau of Investigation are questioning each of the youngsters caught with similar fake ID's in hopes of revealing the main culprit, the producer and distributor of the ID's in Total n Utter Insanity. Those who cooperate are told they will receive no further punishment, other than the revoking of the fake ID and the public knowledge of their involvement in the case.

Vilitans Split over Additional Playoffs

------------------After rumors started that a 5th and 7th place playoff were being considered for future Under-21 World Championships, the Vilitan public were quick to voice their opinions. Armand Issah, of no relation to the former Vilitan Goalkeeper Rory Issah, was interviewed by the Vilita National and had a very clear opinion on the matter.

------------------"I don't want no freaking 5th placed playoff match what is this slani crap man. Why not add a 35th placed playoff too, you know, I mean who finished behind us this year? Crystilakere them twad-nuggets and the Oaker-Croakers who always do nothing except parade around their unbeaten record against Melmond. Imagine if them Oaker-Croaker Foaker-Jokers got another game to play? What would the attendance be? 3? 4? And that includes all the people working the refreshment stands! Stupid idea if you ask me."

------------------But, when directly asked about the 7th placed playoff, Mr. Issah had a different response.

------------------"Well bloody brilliant idea that shiazer is man you better believe it! Talk about that having a 7th placed playoff would be just right. Hemsky that's a great number too, isn't it. Who doesn't like 7? Would be great for us methinks you know right cause weain never made no Semi Final or the like, Quarter Final what we've been there once eh we beat them Insane buggers just like the Eels done this year them damn brownies but aint nothin to us they got botched by a dead team real bad we got the laugh in the end, yeh 7th place we coulda whipped another one on them damn Total n Utter Creeps woulda been mighty fine hellicious lets start it up right now I'd take them Cow Utters anyday of the week mano y mano bring it on baby."

Clash of the Colors

The Orange-Blues played against the Rainbows/Spectrums/Trefors/Howevertheyarecalledtoday of Druida in the vinali tikira. The Orange-Blues had to wear their white-blue replacement kits for the first time ever in a U21 match since the rainbow-colored kits and the orange and blue of the Orange-Blues did look a slight bit alike - at least for WCC officials.

The Hexatux was working again, but as it seems, most match data was not stored and had to be re-merged, or maybe the Heatux decided for the less defensive strategy with having all the data, even though that is highly doubted. The only person, who could clarify things, Siki Rej, only said "Valen su?" (translation would be something like "Does it matter?" or "Do you need to care?") with a big grin. Whatever the reasons for it existed: the Orange-Blues played a System Imdila against the System Takil of Druida. The match saw numerous chances for both sides due to the suicidal tactics of the Orange-Blues and the Trefors. Despite that, it took until the 40th minute until the first one was successfull: Cvm'he, whose first name is, as you might have guessed: Trefor, was able to head the ball past Hsi'he after a corner kick. The Orange-Blues were able to equalize in the 45th minute by a free kick shot by Lata~n Je.

The second half was much like the first one: suicidal tactics from the Spectrums and from the Orange-Blues, at least in comparism to normally. Again Druida took the lead and again the scorer was called Trefor: Trefor Michaels was able to outsmart Syku Raju and archieve the 2:1. The Orange-Blues played even more offensive than before and due to this, more chances occured for them. Tasi Kansu-Ira was able to capitalise a corner kick of Mikidilanevesery "Miki" Lanaveradamitanu and Syku Linu profitted from a questionable offside decision of the referee in the 78th minute. Whether he was offside or not was heatedly discussed by the fans and TV pictures showed that he might have been, the referee however did not agree with tham and did not blow his whistle. After the Orange-Blues were ahead, they instantly changed back to their System Karela and made the rest of the match merely eventless.

The result:
Rejistania 3 (Je 45th, Kansu-Ira 74th, Linu 78th)
Druida 2 (Cwm 30th, Micheals 67th)

*Secret Office*

Lucy: "Everything has been organized."

Shadowy Figure: "Excellent, let me know the results."

*Aquiliana Locker Room*

Aquiliana Manger: "Okay guys drink up, we've got a final to play."

The Players drink from their water bottles.

Player Number 1: "Why have we been drinking so much Insanician Bottled Water?"

Aquiliana Manger: "Because Maggie wanted you to."

Player Number 1: "Who is Maggie?"

Aquiliana Manger: "You don't want to know."

Player Number 2: "I don't feel so good."

Player Number 3: "Me either."

Aquiliana Manger: "Snap out of it, we have a game to win...Guys? Guys? Oh My God! They are all dead!"

*Secret Office*

Lucy: "Mission Accomplished."

*IBC Studio*

Fred: Well Jeb, I think I've seen it all. The Aquiliana Manager has forfeited the Final to Jeruselem, citing Aliveness problems.

Jeb: Indeed, I don't think I've seen a whole team die since World Cup 11.

Fred: Funny how these things tend to happen in TnUI isn't it.

Jeb: *Fake Laugh* Funny Indeed.

*Secret Office*

Aquiliana Manager: "WHAT THE HELL?! You killed my team!"

Shadowy Figure: "Does my office have a revolving door?"

Aquiliana Manager: "You said you didn't kill people!"

Shadowy Figure: "No, what I said was, we don't kill people here, in this building."

Aquiliana Manager: "I'm gonna expose you and your evil schemes! The whole world will find out, no-one will want to play any Cups in TnUI ever again!"

Shadowy Figure: "I don't think you will. Lucy!"

Lucy walks in holding a gun to a young boys head.

Shadowy Figure: "As you can see, I asked your son to join us. Telling him everything was a bad, bad mistake."

Aquiliana Manager: "I spend most of my time on IRC so I don't have many friends to tell evil schemes too." :/

Shadowy Figure: "Well I'm a giver, so you can choose who watches who die first."

Aquiliana Manager: "Whom."

Shadowy Figure: "Lucy."

Lucy aims at the Aquiliana Manager.

Aquiliana Manager: "Wait! I thought you didn't kill people here."

Shadowy Figure: "Damn technicalities."

TO BE CONTINUED...

Crystilakere Crystils
HEAD COACH: Boubacar Dragov
ASST. COACH: Liali Munavelli

GK Alwasi Tystrup*
D Francesco Schiavon*
D Salvatore Redaelli*
D Alpha Siboldi*
M Nina Nonaaia*
M Massimiliano Rosi*
M Giuseppe Zucco*
M Giovanni Quira*
F Reidulf Piao*
F Benjamin Kuhn*
F Toader Pold*

SUBSTITUTES
GK- Alcir Barbara*
D- Rene' Niljssen*, Abdelilah Escobar*
M- Respito Laracca*
F- Benjamin Kuhn*, Michael Baker*, Noel Adiguzel*


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Adjei suspended from National Team

------------------Vilitan National Team coach Helmut Vilkaus has informed Under-21 Forward Julei Adjei that he will not be so much as considered for the Senior Vilitan squad until he is cleared of all charges from the Total n Utter Federal Bureau of Investigation. Adjei will likely have to settle for a career battling the ever-strengthening Atlantian Oceania contengent in the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football if a resolution does to come quickly in his favor.

------------------The Vilitan Football Association is requesting all Nations who may have had a player or fan implicated in this scandal to assist the Total n Utter Federal Bureau of Investigation in finding the true culprit in this wild ring of falsified identification cards.

Vikings to elevate Brown and Mitchell to senior squad

After the Cup of Harmony XI is completed, Larry Brown and Jason Mitchell will find themselves on their way up the big time, as they will be called up to the Vikings to play and compete in the largest NS football tournament, a source said under a condition of annomity.

Larry Brown has 'wowed' coaches, teammates, fans, foes, anyone imaginable, with his superior style of play at a young age. In two Under 21 World Cups, he has scored a large amount of goals, including a hat trick in his first match in any international play. Jason Mitchell is a great team player who feeds Brown a lot of passes and still finds a little time to score a few goals of his own. Both of these players are going to be great additions to the Vikings team and it is expected that both will be starting.

It is not known if there will be any more call-ups, but we should find out within the future. On another note, the FAFP management has decided to hold a contest for naming the Under 21 Fmjphoenix team. They have no 'official name' and were just dubbed the Junior Vikings. The FAFP is accepting any fan from any country and everyone is encouraged to give in their ideas and opinions on names. Submissions can be sent in to the FAFP.

VOIA question Rejistanian Footballer

----------------The Vilitan Oribital Intelligence Agency arrived in Total n Utter Insanity and began promptly investigating the scandal which sees one Vilitan and one Turorian Under-21 player linked in what could be the largest case of falsified ID cards Total n Utter Insanity has seen all week. VOIA begun their investigation by interrogating Rejistanian Under-21 Xkeliko Saru. Saru has yet to be implicated by the Total n Utter Federal Bureau of investigation, but his brother and 12 year old sister have been directly linked with the scandal. VOIA are looking to find if Saru had or still has any knowledge that would help further the progress of the case.

----------------The Vilitan Orbital Intelligence Agency can be reached at anytime via top-secret aRPanet, the original form of inter-web communication, and urge anyone with information to take advantage of this technology.

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Record Win Boosts Kitties

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Vilita Goalscorers::
3' Manolis Ipoua
7' Julei Adjei
44' Christian Sanou
45' Riccardo Appolloni
49' Riccardo Appolloni
61' Inaki Soler
89' Antonis Siazzu


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-------------------The Vilita Jungle Kitties got off to the perfect start in the Ninth edition of the World Cup Under 21 World Championships, against Oaker, a team that Vilita was very familiar with after facing them twice in their World Cup 19 Qualifying section. Manolis Ipoua's free kick in the 3rd minute opened the scoring for Vilita, and Julei Adjei's easy tap in after Riccardo Appolloni's shot was only parried by Oaker gave fans the impression that this match was going to be very one sided. However, the Jungle Kitties had to wait until first half stoppage time until impressive Man of the Match Christian Sanou fired a rocket 35 yard effort out of reach of Oaker and into the back of the net. Appolloni quickly netted Vilita's 4th in first half stoppage time, leaving no question as to who would be coming out on top in the match.

-------------------Appolloni struck again when play resumed, wasting no team in earning his team a corner kick which was taken by the crafty Ipoua. The ball had come out to Sanou who found Appolloni at the far post making the score 5-0. The phenominal Inaki Soler netted on 61 minutes, but was fouled in the process and was immediately substituted in order to ensure he was fit for the Crystilakere match. Young Keeper Delain Falcon had his first shot to deal with in the 75th minute, and he failed to do anything of the sort, palming Oaker's calm effort like a basketball slam dunk into his own net, although Oaker has currently received credit for the goal. Falcón's blunder earned him the bogey award of the match, but Vilita's 19 Corner Kicks would pay off once again as Siazzu capitalized in the 89th to finalize the lopsided 7-1 scoreline, and all-time Vilitan record.


Full Time Analysis:

Vilita

Best Player: Christian Sanou
Worst Player: Delain Falcón
Shots on Target: 15
Corner Kicks: 19



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Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Delain Falcón, [D] Andrea Lamberti, [D] Niccoló Mazzeo, [D] Kagiso Alfieri, [DMC] Christian Sanou, [ML] Inaki Soler, [MC] Antonis Siazzu, [MC] Manolis Ipoua, [MR] Maurizio Sala, [FC] Riccardo Appolloni, [FC] Julei Adjei,
BENCH::
[M] Manolis Makunike, [M] Thierry Columbo, [U] Manolis Masi, [D] Tulio Arizmendi, [GK] Alioum Mané,

Vilita Substitutions::
(62) - Inaki Soler >>> Manolis Makunike

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Late Strike seals Derby Win

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Vilita Goalscorers::
88' Maurizio Sala
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-------------------Maurizio Sala netted his first goal of the competition with just two minutes to play in a closely contested match to seal three points and qualification for the Vilita Jungle Kitties. In yet another classic Vilita-Crystilakere Derby, the Vilitans took back their Founders trophy with Sala's strike, and prepared for the next derby on the cards against the Turori Eels. Wing phenom Inaki Soler had to be substituted once again at half time due to lingering affects of the injury he suffered against Oaker. Doctors are optimistic he will be available for the match against Turori, but there is a slight chance he will not. Starblaydi-based defender Tulio Arizmendi put in an abysmal performance on defense, and is likely to be dropped in favor of Kagiso Alfieri, brother of Former Vilitan-Under 21 and Marine Coast United bad-man Petros Alfieri.

-------------------The Jungle Kitties are set to Face Turori in what is likely to be a goalless-draw that will see Vilita Face Giant Zucchini in the Second Round. While Vilita are likely to get a 90th minute goal by Sala to earn Extra time after Sala and Adjei scored prior, they will probably lose on penalties and fail to advance yet again. However, Turori will probably beat Total n Utter Insanity on penalties before losing to Aquiliana by some absurdly awkward scoreline. But hey, who knows, can't predict the future or anything.


Full Time Analysis:

Vilita

Best Player: Christian Sanou
Worst Player: Tulio Arizmendi
Shots on Target: 5
Corner Kicks: 6



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Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Alioum Mané, [D] Andrea Lamberti, [D] Tulio Arizmendi, [D] Niccoló Mazzeo, [DMC] Christian Sanou, [ML] Inaki Soler, [MC] Antonis Siazzu, [MC] Manolis Ipoua, [MR] Maurizio Sala, [FC] Riccardo Appolloni, [FC] Julei Adjei,
BENCH::
[FC] Callum Banda, [FC] Jan Christiansen, [M] Thierry Columbo, [M] Manolis Makunike, [U] Mauro Capuano, [D] Kagiso Alfieri, [GK] Delain Falcón,

Vilita Substitutions::
(45) - Inaki Soler >>> Thierry Columbo
(45) - Andrea Lamberti >>> Manolis Makunike

Jeruselem Government News

Aquiliana no-show, Jeruselem wins 2nd Championship

Jeruselem faced Aquiliana in the final of the U21 World Cup IX, but no show from the Aquiliana U21 team. Under the rules of the World Cup, Jeruselem were crowned champions as they was no opposition to play and no game.

Jeruselem Coach Rabbi Goldstein was puzzled "What kind of soccer team fails to turn up a final and hands it to the opponent, unless they couldn't turn up. I'm confused but we are still happy. This is our 2nd win but winning by default is a little hollow. A win is a win, by any means."

The Jeruselem U21 team were awarded the cup in the absense of any opposition players, but the small Jeruselem support squad partied all night long.

Third Place Playoff
Druida 2 Rejistania 3

Final
Jeruselem v Aquiliana
Jeruselem win by default

Winners List
U21WC1 Audioslavia
U21WC2 Kingsford
U21WC3 Jeruselem
U21WC4 Bedistan
U21WC5 Rejistania
U21WC6 Bedistan
U21WC7 Vilita
U21WC8 Total n Utter Insanity
U21WC9 Jeruselem

Seedings
1 Jeruselem
2 Rejistania
3 Total n Utter Insanity
4 Vilita
5 Fmjphoenix
6 Starblaydia
7 Bedistan
8 Sarzonia
9 Giant Zucchini
10 Audioslavia
11 Turori
12 South Osettia
12 Praying2God
14 Druida
15 Cockbill Street
16 Liverpool England
17 Adam Island
18 The Lowland Clans
19 Aquiliana
20 Hiiraan
21 Ninurta
22 Crystilakere
23 The Eagles Nest