Goobergunchia
02-12-2004, 01:52
[ooc: I'm posting this as a separate thread by Allanea's request. The thread that this is a reply to is Allanean News Network [Not for the faint of heart] (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=378123)].
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Goobergunchian Announces Policy on the Actions of Dolphin, Inc.
Statement of Clifford Metarf, Transportation Minister of the Liberal Unitary Republic
We are appalled by the actions of Dolphin, Incorporated. Although it is not our place to dictate the domestic policies of other nations (such as Allanea), nor to regulate what occurs in international waters, we would just like to note that if any destruction of dolphins occurs in Goobergunchian waters, the individuals on the boats in question will be arrested under the Allanean Exclusion Act and be immediately deported. Although their boats and other equipment will be returned to them in due course, their catch will be confiscated due to the violation of Goobergunchian law.
The Coast Guard is being deployed along the border of the Goobergunchian territorial sea to the east and south of the Liberal Unitary Republic. As this is under my department, it is fairly well funded and is one of the few branches of the Goobergunchian government that is also well-armed. We advise members of Dolphin, Incorporated, to keep well away from Goobergunchian waters.
--30--
A corridor in the Mid-Council
Goobergunch City, Goobergunchia
Cliff Metarf walked along the hallway feeling fairly happy. He didn't get to make many big official policy statements - the ones he did get to make were usually about new train or bus lines, plus the usual Coast Guard recruitment pitches. He knew he was probably encroaching on the Foreign Ministry's turf a bit, but he didn't care.
Suddenly, he saw a figure walking towards him. As it grew nearer, he identified it as Emil Farvus, the Foreign Minister. Metarf groaned inwardly. They knew each other, but they weren't particular friends. "Hello, Emil," he said as Farvus passed.
Suprisingly, Farvus stopped with a smile on his face. "Hey, Cliff!" he greeted Metarf jovially. "Loved your statement on the Dolphin thing - conveyed just the right mix of confrontation and 'wait-and-see' tactics. You really summed up our policy. It's really my job, but heck, you did really great work on it! I know the Coast Guard is your ministry, but clear anything more you release on the situation - other than routine business, of course - with me first, okay?"
Metarf was taken aback by Farvus's enthusiasm. "I'll do that, thanks for the compliment. See you later." After Farvus responded with a perfunctory "See ya!", Metarf walked on his way, wondering whether he really had his pulse on Goobergunchian policy that well. "I've gotta keep trusting my instincts...." he resolved to himself.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Goobergunchian Announces Policy on the Actions of Dolphin, Inc.
Statement of Clifford Metarf, Transportation Minister of the Liberal Unitary Republic
We are appalled by the actions of Dolphin, Incorporated. Although it is not our place to dictate the domestic policies of other nations (such as Allanea), nor to regulate what occurs in international waters, we would just like to note that if any destruction of dolphins occurs in Goobergunchian waters, the individuals on the boats in question will be arrested under the Allanean Exclusion Act and be immediately deported. Although their boats and other equipment will be returned to them in due course, their catch will be confiscated due to the violation of Goobergunchian law.
The Coast Guard is being deployed along the border of the Goobergunchian territorial sea to the east and south of the Liberal Unitary Republic. As this is under my department, it is fairly well funded and is one of the few branches of the Goobergunchian government that is also well-armed. We advise members of Dolphin, Incorporated, to keep well away from Goobergunchian waters.
--30--
A corridor in the Mid-Council
Goobergunch City, Goobergunchia
Cliff Metarf walked along the hallway feeling fairly happy. He didn't get to make many big official policy statements - the ones he did get to make were usually about new train or bus lines, plus the usual Coast Guard recruitment pitches. He knew he was probably encroaching on the Foreign Ministry's turf a bit, but he didn't care.
Suddenly, he saw a figure walking towards him. As it grew nearer, he identified it as Emil Farvus, the Foreign Minister. Metarf groaned inwardly. They knew each other, but they weren't particular friends. "Hello, Emil," he said as Farvus passed.
Suprisingly, Farvus stopped with a smile on his face. "Hey, Cliff!" he greeted Metarf jovially. "Loved your statement on the Dolphin thing - conveyed just the right mix of confrontation and 'wait-and-see' tactics. You really summed up our policy. It's really my job, but heck, you did really great work on it! I know the Coast Guard is your ministry, but clear anything more you release on the situation - other than routine business, of course - with me first, okay?"
Metarf was taken aback by Farvus's enthusiasm. "I'll do that, thanks for the compliment. See you later." After Farvus responded with a perfunctory "See ya!", Metarf walked on his way, wondering whether he really had his pulse on Goobergunchian policy that well. "I've gotta keep trusting my instincts...." he resolved to himself.