NationStates Jolt Archive

ANN, the Allanean Gulf

*camera shows a flock of dolphins following a fishing boat*

Dolphins. Beautiful, graceful beings, a symbol of Nature’s duty to some of us. However, there’s more and more people in Allanea that see it otherwise. For them, dolphins are merely… food.

*a powerful explosion thunders several meters behind the boat, and several dolphins go belly up, stunned*

It might seem strange, but John Altman, CEO of Dolphin, Inc., is convinced otherwise. According to him, dolphins provide a cheaper, more environment-friendly source of food than fish. Also, he claims dolphin flesh is healthier for you than the regular fish. Furthermore, Altman is currently marketing the skin and lard of dolphins for interested corporations, however a market has not been found, and Altman has already amassed the skin and lard of about six hundred dolphins in his company warehouse. Those interested need only look up Altman’s company at www.dolphin.al

*the dolhpins are gathered up into the boat*.

This news broadcast has been sponsored by Dolphin, Incorporated.

ANN – Today, the government of the United States of Allanea announces it’s joining the Greater Los Angeles Accord. Citizens wishing to know more need only click here. Furthermore, today, the city of Nova-Houston was founded on Mars, protected by a military facily known as New-McHenry. The city proper will be a series of stand-alone underwater buildings and is situated to the South of Pilon

ANN: Today, Allanean Arms, Incorporated has announced the completion of their developement of the HS-4546 orbitally deployed StarGate. Such a stargate is scheduled for easy deployment on planet, either from orbit or from a shuttlecraft. It arrives in a folded form, where from it will automatically and autonomously deploy itsef. About 100 such stargates were ordered by FEMA for the purposes of "planetary evacuation and rescue".

ANN: Congress Decides To Pay off Capsule

Today, the United States Congress decided to pay Capsule Corporation 12 trillion dollars for the use of blueprints for the Valiance Class capital ship in Allanea’s navy. The money, paid our of Allanea’s Commere budget, will amount to 600 billion dollars a year.

Delegate Jonathan Morris [D-NMT] has commented: ‘This is crazy, and only points out the stupidity of the Republican/Libertarian Coalition. If we were still in charge, this would never have happened.

In the same session, Congress decided to commision Allanean Arms, Inc., for the construction of 20 Nimitz-P-class Carriers, 10 Aissur Class battleships, 10 Ticonderoga-P-class cruisers, 40 Arleigh Burke Class Destroyers. Raysia Arms, Inc. has been comissioned the construction of ten Sea Raptor Class Submarines and 200,000 Flamechucker flamethrowers.. The total cost of those purchases is estimated at 130.6 billion Universal Standard Dollars.

ANN - The United States Navy is glad to announce the completion, in the last three years, of 6 Nimitz-P-Class Carriers, 3 Aissur-class battleships, and 3 Ticonderoga-P-class cruisers. 12 Arleigh-Burke-P class vessels are also complete.

ANN: Congress Decides To Pay off Capsule

Today, the United States Congress decided to pay Capsule Corporation 12 trillion dollars for the use of blueprints for the Valiance Class capital ship in Allanea’s navy. The money, paid our of Allanea’s Commere budget, will amount to 600 billion dollars a year.

Delegate Jonathan Morris [D-NMT] has commented: ‘This is crazy, and only points out the stupidity of the Republican/Libertarian Coalition. If we were still in charge, this would never have happened.

In the same session, Congress decided to commision Allanean Arms, Inc., for the construction of 20 Nimitz-P-class Carriers, 10 Aissur Class battleships, 10 Ticonderoga-P-class cruisers, 40 Arleigh Burke Class Destroyers. Raysia Arms, Inc. has been comissioned the construction of ten Sea Raptor Class Submarines and 200,000 Flamechucker flamethrowers.. The total cost of those purchases is estimated at 130.6 billion Universal Standard Dollars.The Capsule Corporation accepts your payment plan, and clears Allanea of Piracy Charges. However, steal from us again, and we will not be as forgiving.

[Raysia also confirms the order]

ANN - The United States Navy is glad to announce the completion of it's first stage build-up.

Today, Congress has declared it’s desire to re-work the Air Force. The following craft will be purchased from Allanean Arms and Raysian aerospace, at per-Armada level. It will cost the taxtpayer 119 billion per Armada.

1,000 Allanean Arms F-16-AL fighters - F-16 fighters with ECM suites
100 Allanean Arms An-225 Mriya-P cargo craft – AN-225 with a PBNR power plant

200 Raysian Aerospace Megafortress bombers
100 Raysian Aerospace R-1807 refuellers
2 Raysian Aerospace RC-225 Sky Commanders
100 Raysian Airspace RT-1707 Jumbo BWB Transports

After completion, each Armada will be composed of 1,502 aircaft, including the Howard Dean Mark II long-range bombers already possessed by them. The Ann Coulter series will be totally phased out.

Today, the United States Congress has approved the Tower Loan - a treaty under which the United States will loan 100 trillion dollars from various nations and in the form of bonds, to be repaid at 675 billion a year for 160 years. The US of Allanea will end up paying Weyrean government 100 trillion Uniform Standard Dollars, a sum which will go towards humanitarian missions approved by the United States Government. The mission is highly controversial in political circles and has passed with the slimmest of margins.

Argh. Edited.

Your order is confirmed, and will be delivered over the next 18 months.

Proposal to Allanean Defense Department

The Empire of Lavenrunz is prepared to offer you the Wachtmeister Air Superiority Fighter for purchase. This is a two seated plane which is capable of firing a variety of missiles, of great power and maneuverability. It carries a 25mm autocannon which can be fitted with uranium depleted rounds for ground attack purposes. With minor hardpoint adjustments, it can be refitted for attack fighter purposes, though it is best suited to attack enemy planes of all types. At the top range of speeds for tactical fighters, it is one of the best choices you could have. It proved its superiority in combat against Reich forces in the Ienotheisan War and is still top of the line today.
We are also prepared to offer a training program with any orders you might wish.
respectfully
Admiral Carlotta de Goethe
Minister of War
Teutonic Empire of Lavenrunz
.

ANN, North-Allanean sea

*The camera displays a flock of dolphins swimming on the surface*

*A close up shows that the dolphins have small red beacons on their backs*.

Dolphins. Some love them. Others love them well-made. John Altman, CEO of Dolphin, Inc., belongs to the latter group. Today, Dolphin, Incorporated, has paid the government 25,000 Allanean Dollars to purchase tags for the twenty-five dolphins you know see before you. But instead of killing them, they decided to declare the marine mammals property of the corporations.

*camera shifts to a view of John Altman's face*

"I think this is an improvement. Now we own this flock, and we're going to maintain it, just like people maintain private buffalo herds and such." - the man smiles - "But the real change is our new factory building.*

*camera shifts to a view of a large floating structure.*

"This building, based 35 kilometers off the shore of Allanea, is the center of all our operations, both the processingo of the hunted dolphins and the management center of our herds, and we're going to make sure we proceed soon from hunting to breeding the things - it's better for us, it's better for the environment, everybody benefits."

In other news, the riots in Port-Allanea are still continuing...