NationStates Jolt Archive

Citizens of Iesus Christi! Citizens of the world!
The glory of advent is upon us. Hosanna to the king!
Iesus and the world rejoice and prepared for the celebration of the word made flesh!
What a time of wonder...Not only are we to celebrate the joy of advent but we also mark the anniversary of our glorious victory in the 'first war of national survival'!
Angels and all the saints sing for joy at this anniversary...the first of our constant and glorious victories over the decadent west!
We honour the blood of our hero martyrs along with the coming celebration for the word incarnate.
To show the world the joy and pride we feel at this time, our glorious government has seen fit to carry out the following actions:
1. The release of 150 dissent clergy and religious. Let the captives be freed and testify to the world and to our people, the fair and humane treatment they received! Let them return to us washed clean from their sins!
2. The relaxing of Internal travel restrictions. The government has secured such victories over saboteurs and terrorism that citizens will be free to travel without restrictions during the advent season.
3. The near total ban on foreign visitors will be lifted. Our government knowing the great misconceptions people hold in misguided foreign lands will allow foreign citizens to visit the Christian paradise that is Iesus Christi. The national airline 'Air-ICco' will soon be flying people into our happy and friendly nation!
Citizens! Celebrate! Rejoice!
Remember the blood of the martyrs! Prepare the way of the Lord!
ministry of social order declaration


The first released Priest, Father John Forth spoke eagerly to state news cameras. His interview went out over view screens nationwide.
"Praise the Lord. I thank the government, especially Bridgette Iesus for allowing this to happen. Her generosity and good will allowed me...a former treasonous sinner...to be freed and to be able to celebrate Christmas with you all...my treatment these past ....errr months..has been fair, humane and better than I ever deserved considering my treasonous acts and thoughts against our beloved government...God bless you All! God Bless the Iesus family!"

Atrack and Kuff prepared for their first holiday overseas. The council of faith had take the Iesus Christi government up on its offer of allowing tourism.
"Passports" "check"
"Cameras" "check"
"Iesus-to-Arabic dictionary" "check"
"Christian Fundementalist Cultural Guide" "check"
"travellers cheques" "check"
"prayer mats" "check"
"Ok, ring the taxi. its off to Iesus Christi we go!"

President Ross sitting in his main office with Vice President Davis

Ross: Fanatics equal funny. Agree or disagree?

Davis: I agree. He's being allowed to celebrate a holiday. And his acting is terrible. I thought I was watching "Saw".

Ross: Ba-zing.

OOC: In answer to some...odd...tgrams...anyone can apply for a visitors visa(of course that doesnt mean we'll let 'em in) but assuming your country or a country near you allows 'Air-ICco' flights, you citizen can come experience Iesus Christi! woohoo! :P

IC:
The newly formed Iesus tourist board(a department of the ministryof social order) presents..
A Hitchhikers Guide to Iesus Christi(extracts)

So, you've decided to come to Iesus Christi! Great!
You'll have a great time here. You'll become one of us in no time!
Once you step off your 'Air-ICco' plane, government workers will see to your every needs. Iesus Christi is one of the saftest and most content places on the earth! UN ratings place Iesus Christi in the top 10 saftest nations! So unlike the decadant western nation you've come from, here you and your family will be able to walk the streets in saftey.
In Iesus Christi you'll be made at home by our compassionate citizens, you'll be part of our simple fun loving culture in no time.
Iesus Citizens have simple tastes, they like to eat, drink and do other normal human activities that arnt perverted and a offense to God. Here in Iesus you will experience genuine wholesome fun...unlike your nation..our nations streets arnt choked with the poor and starving , nor are our streets examples of urban decay full of fallen doves and drug addicts.No wild youth gangs rape young women here! Here in Iesus you will experience a Christian paradise, where young and old work and play hand in hand to make the world a better place.

Here in Iesus you will experience true nightlife! In our safe cities you can experience Iesus 'after dark'. Late night cafes, 'Discotariums' and taverns will open your eyes to the exciting nature of the Iesus Christi social scene.
Iesus citizens generally proclaim themselves to be the finest brewers in the world, Iesus ales and spirits are extremely potent. The national drink is truly a delightful vodka concoction called "Panzer" or "guuuHweeeegh"(named after what people sound like after drinking too much of it}
Others drinks like 'Special blue' , 'burna' and 'buster' are served liberally in many Iesus hotspots, but be warned that even if many taste like water there is a real reason they are served in thimbles.
Many of these night spots have live concerts and comedy shows, you'll be amazed by the depth of the Iesus music and comedy scene, let comedians like Jark Clement entertain you with jokes like "What do you get if you hit a Elf with a rock? a big laugh!" and " why did the Jewish elf cross the road? because if he didnt I'd shoot him!"
Yes indeed, Iesus is a place for the whole family...

.....Iesus land of delight...land of joy.....
Metahumans remember to apply for your honourary human status along with your Visa!

Thumbing through the extract in the local paper George Fredrickson tutted.
'Beatrice? What was that Eoosus Christi place like? What di' t'government say 'bout it?'
'It's a very bad place...'
'Bloody right it's a bad place! Bloody Fasisct Nazi commie things! Shouldn't be allowed for common decency, but 'ere's our Government in our paper tryin t'shift people off to there.'
'Discraceful' the voice floated from the kitchen.
'Bloody right' George huffed.

People ran past screaming, a few gunshots could be heard in the middle distance. (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=375875) George looked out of the window, then back down at the advert in his hands.
'Beatrice?' he called warily.
'Tea'll be ready in five minutes dear.' The voice floated out from the kitchen again, a sound of metal clanging shut on metal following her statement.

'No, no, I think we need a holiday... 'ow do we get a VISA again?'
'Form Two three one one dear, remember? We got a spare or two 'cause of us going to Deyelli beybi last year, lovely place that was...' Beatrice stuck her head out from the kitchen, her brown hair covering an eye.
'Right, I'd better fill one out then, we'll go for a nice week-long break to "eeosus"'.

'Oh wonderful! I could do with a new wardrobe...' Her eyes glistened from behind her hair as she dissappeared back into the kitchen.
'Oh bloody hell... there goes my savings...'

Remeber Iesus Christi, liberal laws being relaxed is for life, not just for Christmas.

President & General Secretary Sean Matthews
Soviet State of Hrstrovokia

Remeber Iesus Christi, liberal laws being relaxed is for life, not just for Christmas.

President & General Secretary Sean Matthews
Soviet State of Hrstrovokia
"I wouldnt know about that, the people of God follow wherever Christ leads"
Bridgette Iesus


Facts for the tourist: A Lonely Planet Guide.
Full country name: The Holy Empire of Iesus Christi
Language: English. Several Local tongues.
Religion: Roman Catholic , All other religions has prohibited since the 1950s(except Islam in certain provinces)
Government: authoritarian fascist
Head of State: God the three -the one :God the father, God the Holy Spirit and God the son - Our Lord Jesus Christ.
Head of Government: Chairman of the National Defense Commission President ,Warlord and First General Matthew Iesus
Major Industries: Military products, machinery, electric power, chemicals, mining, metallurgy, textiles, food processing

The Capital: St Augustine
St Augustine is a superb example of the regime's progress, discipline and the well-being of its citizens. Don't expect a bustling western capital alive with street hawkers , instead expect thousands of uniformed security personal, in fact you entire trip you can expect to be kept in close company of atleast several security personal.

The city is built around the banks of the Martha River. The most amazing thing about the river is the two mid-river fountains that rise to a height of 150m, reputedly the highest in the world. Your first day out in the city will undoubtedly be a guided tour by car(with state appointed driver. Be careful what you say). One of the main monuments is the Tower of St Fenris, a 170m high needle on the east bank of the Martha. You will also surely be taken to see the Triumphal Arch, which marks the spot where General Matthew Iesus snr made his rallying speech after the Royalty were routed. You'll be reminded that it is fully three metres taller than any statue on earth.
St Patricks aquare and cathedral are both excellent sites but highly patrolled by the armed froces....so you may want to avoid them if you think you're a lippy type.

The Iesus Stadium is one of the world's largest, and the Archangel Statue, a bronze Angel upon a Pegasus crushing a elf representing the high-speed progress of the countries reconstruction since the ousting of the royals, are both worth a look. There is a generous handful of museums and monuments to General Iesus and the Revolution, but you may wish to see more traditional sights, such as two of the old city gates, the Crusader and Royal Gates. The State Circus, run by the Army, is housed in a large circular building, and upon entering you'll probably be treated to the spectacle of the whole audience turning their heads as one to stare at the foreigners. You should also definitely visit a metro station if you get the opportunity, if only to gawk at the extravagance with which they were built. They are adorned with bronze sculptures,flags, murals, mosaics and chandeliers.

Accommodation is expensive, although the price of wherever you choose to stay is included in your tour charge. You'll most likely be pressured to stay at the deluxe Christ the King Hotel, a 45-storey tower with a revolving restaurant on top. It has 500 rooms, and given the small number of tourists, you should have little trouble making reservations. There are other deluxe hotels, but most are not as conveniently located . Also remember the Iesus Christi notion of 'deluxe' differs greatly from that in most western nations, also without a doubt your rooms will be bugged...remember civil rights arnt a concept the Iesus government really understands...so be warned!
It currently isnt advised for non-humans to visit even if the government grants them honourary human status.

Atrack and Kuff 'ow'ed and 'arh'ed over the Iesus Christi capital.
"oh look! another statue of General Matthew! oh! another!"
"and there is another 't' with a man on it! What did the guide say they were called?
"cruc-e-fix-us"
"odd. odd. dont they know allah would never let his prophet die? oh well. whats next?"
"another statue! what a colorful place"

o.o.c: o.O

:D Very nice, North Star.

TAG

tagalicious