NationStates Jolt Archive

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With World Cup 18 being brought to a close by a stunning final between Rejistania and Kaze Progessa, we move to WC!9 which The Belmore Family and Turori will be joint hosting. Here is a thread for you to post your Pre-WC!9 RPs and prepare for World Cup !9.

WC19: Against All Odds...lavos

Welcome to the WC19 Pre-Preview Special

Tom: Did you know Jake, that you can marry your own mother in The Belmore Family and its perfectly legal.

Jake: I did not know that Tom, and frankly I'm disgusted to be in a place like this now.

Tom: Did you also know that the U21 World Cup, which is now being held every 2 years, has been held up because the Bedistani U21s have caught the Rejistanian unbeatable bug.

Jake: That I did know. They are trying to resolve the problem by fixing the group draw so Bedistan play Jeruselem, Liverpool England and some other team that totally jinxs them.

Tom: Well seeing as we have no group draw, roster, or anything else to go on, that's the end of this pre-preview special.

Music and Fade.

Belmorians declared host, Legal Challenges Ensue

http://www.abelmore.com/Sepp.GIF
As the head of the Arrdian World Cup Comittee Delegation told the packed audience of 3,000 delegates that The Belmore Family and Turori were to host World Cup 19 the Liverpool England delegation got up and left the room shouting "We will not lose".

So all today legal challenges have ensued, with the Liverpudlians argueing that the fact that Vilita, the nation to whom Turori is a colony, hosted the World Cup only 8 years ago. However Turori said in court today- "We are an autonomous state. It is heartland propaganda that it is otherwise. However we do have links with the Vilitan government so will refuse a vote in WCC matters."

However, the current feeling is that this appeal will not succeed and the Belmorians, will, at last host the major footballing competiton.

More news at 10 O' Clock.

Stars ready to 'knock door down'

Coming off their first Cup of Harmony title in three tries at the consolation tournament, the Sarzonian national team would prefer not to be in a position to defend that title in the next go-around. The Stars are hoping that in World Cup 19, they will actually advance to the finals.

"We're happy anytime we win," Coach Dave Wilson said. "But I'd rather not have to win another Cup of Harmony. I want us to win the big prize."

The Stars also participated in the Eagle Cup for the first time, which gave the team some optimism heading into this World Cup that the team will be able to be sharp from the outset.

"The first two cups, we got off to a great start," forward and team captain Brian Wilson said. "The last cup, we struggled and then turned it up in the second half of qualifying. We want to make sure we develop consistency and advance."

The team welcomes forward Anton Gregor back from the torn ACL he suffered in the semi-finals of the third AOCAF tournament. He played for the second choice Stars team in the fourth tournament and started to round his way back into football shape, said second choice team coach and first choice team assistant David Bostwick.

"Anton needed to get some playing time in and in a real live situation," he said. "The AOCAF tournament gave him the opportunity to do that without it having a bearing on the World Cup team."

The Stars also discovered some depth on that AOCAF tournament team, adding defender Trevor Crenshaw and midfielder Dix Porter to the roster from that team. Goalkeeper John Bartlett also starred for the team and he has been added to the first choice team as the primary reserve goalkeeper.

But Dave Wilson said that Bartlett wouldn't just be the backup goalkeeper.

"He's going to push Troy for a starting job," he said. "He played unbelieveably well in that [AOCAF] tournament. He's earned a shot at Troy's job."

SDB Back for 4th World Cup Campaign
Most Goals, Most Caps, most World Cup Appearances?

Superstar Starblaydi Striking Sensation Simeone Di Bradini will officially be participating in his fourth World Cup Qualifiying Campaign for Starblaydia, though he won't be wearing his usual Number 10. Di Bradini, 35 years old with 34 International Goals, has taken the number 23 shirt for the 19th World Cup Qualifiers, saying that he'll be lending his experience to those youngsters in the squad:

'I'm the only player in the twenty-three who has experienced not making it to a World Cup before, so I can tell them all about how hard it is to miss out on such a prize.'

'SDB' is also looking to the regional tournament, the 5th Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football, where Starblaydia will be defending their crown.

'Its become a bit of tradition that the five reserves on the Starblaydi World Cup squad will form the backbone of the team in the ACOAF, and I'm hoping to start for the AOCAF team, as I am getting on a bit.'

Not only has he been getting on a bit, but his contract at Belmorian giants Alan City has been rolling to a conclusion.

'I can confirm that this season at Alan City will be my last. I've won a helluva lot of trophies there and I love the place with all its crazy politics. Democracy, eh? Crazy, that's not how we do things in Starblaydia.'

But what will the legend that is SDB do after his contract expires?

'I think I want to go back home, that's for sure. I've done my badges, but the ole' legs still get me sprinting around the pitch so who knows? I've already had some offers, which I'm thinking over.'

And has he been mulling over Starblaydia's chances in the World Cup?

'No, not at all... of course I have you fool! With luck, we might be favourites for our Qualifying Group, whatever that looks like after the draw. I think we'll have to really slip-up to not make it. IF we get there, then anything's possible. Second Round? Semi Finals? Anything.'

Fourth And Final For Isserson
Munitis Tipped For Top Job For WCXX

Karim Isserson yesterday announced his decision to retire after the Krytenian campaign for World Cup Nineteen. The Tadjik-born coach will be seventy-one by the time the finals roll around, and has stated that he would at this late stage in his life like to spend his twilight years with his family in Dunshabe.

Isserson will be joined by a new assistant manager this season. With Mark Ono leaving the post to manage KLF team AFC Avidia, former Celestials goalkeeper Alan Munitis will take on the role of No.2, with a view to taking the manager's role in four years time.

In other news, the KFA have announced a co-hosting bid with The Eagles Nest for World Cup Twenty. Details are currently sketchy, however more news will be forthcoming.

The Bedistan Sports Digest

Barton Out After Disappointing Performance
McGarity named new Lions manager

AMISSVILLE -- After leaving World Cup XVIII in the second round whilst simultaneously co-hosting the tournament, the Bedistan Football Association was extremely unhappy. As a result, Brandon Barton will not be returning as manager of the Bedistan national team for WC19. The most likely appointee to the vacancy was said to be assistant manager Mike Davidson, but Davidson actually refused the job for he reason he did not wish to disclose. Therefore, the new team manager is former Lions midfielder Morris McGarity, who played about ten to twenty years ago.

Reports are also filtering in from both BediStat and Stats Progressa, who jointly produce the quadrennial KPB rankings, that the Bedistani national team has fallen out of the top five, supposedly now ranked somewhere around #7 in the world, although official rankings are not expected to be released until the end of the Baptism of Fire Tournament. If this is accurate, though, it is the team's lowest ranking since World Cup XV in Eauz and the Eagle's Nest (the team was #8 for that tournament). However, the team has managed to remain in the top ten since at least World Cup XIV and possibly XIII (we're unsure of the WC13 ranking).

That said, this is expected to be a rebuilding year for the Lions. Some of the older players that have been playing since WC16 are said to be retiring from international football before WC19 qualifying starts, and replacements are likely to come from Bedistan's most recent U21 squad. Will Nineteen be the one that the Lions finally win? Of course not! Please, Bedistan winning the World Cup...that's like Ravea defeating Rejistania. Ain't gonna happen. Doesn't mean we won't try, though.

Zucchini Resurrection:
Episode 0: Prologue

8 years ago…

Urk was reminiscing in a taxi on his way to the Giant Zucchini National Stadium. He was so glad he was finally going for international training, after a poor domestic campaign with Marauding F.C., ending with an ill-tempered match against arch-rivals Prehistoric F.C.. The fighting continued into the tunnel, when Marauding coach Mr Aarnd had pizza thrown on his coat by Doosh. Hardly civilised stuff in arguably the best league in the world. Anyway, he was glad to be back in international duty, where he found most of his success. Having been the captain and Giant Zucchini’s most successful player in Giant Zucchini’s long and illustrious footballing history, Urk was the icon of Giant Zucchini football, and he knew it was his responsibility to rebuild his team’s confidence after a dismal World Cup qualifying campaign. These thoughts flashed through his mind as the taxi made a turn.

“Hey, this road doesn’t go to the Stadium!” Urk’s voice was more of shock than of anger.

The taxi driver replied, “My Boss wants to see you.”

Urk sat confused in the taxi. ‘Who is this…Boss? Why does he want to see me?’ Thoughts continued to whiz through his cranium as the taxi stopped outside a tall building.

“Follow me.” Urk obediently followed the taxi driver up the elevator. It stopped at the top floor. The whole floor was empty, except for a single table and 2 chairs, both facing each other. On one chair, a large zucchini wearing a pair of sunglasses sat facing him. He motioned to Urk, asking him to sit at the opposite chair, which he duly did.

The large zucchini began to speak. “Urk, you are the chosen one. You are chosen to know the truth.” He then put 2 fists on the table. He opened his left hand to reveal a blue pill in his palm.

“You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.”

He then opened his right hand to reveal a red pill.

“You take the red pill and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.”

Urk sat there looking at the pills. Thoughts filled his mind. ‘Should I pursue the truth, or should I just forget this nightmare? And why a rabbit-hole? I’m a zucchini, for goodness sakes…’ Urk eventually took the red pill and swallowed it with a glass of water.


Urk feels sucked down…into an alternate reality…He is confused…he does not know what is going on…until he finds himself next to the large zucchini again. He is standing next to a computer, and beside him, is a human boy, busy typing into the computer.

“Urk, you are not real; you are a creation of this computer…” the large zucchini continued as he strides towards the window, “which is connected via electrodes to that plot of zucchinis over there.” Urk walked apprehensively to the window. He saw a large plantation, filled to the brim with zucchinis. “This is the truth. Believe it or not, I leave it up to you.”

“B…bu…but if this is true, then what am I supposed to do about it?” Urk was hoping the answer would not be something too difficult.

“Oh, nothing. I just get a kick out of seeing other zucchinis’ shocked looks when they know the truth.”

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of voices from the plantation.

“Yep, thems green’uns r’ ready faw the hawvest.” The man with a straw hat who said those words then raised the axe in his tough hands. The glimmer from the axe was the last light Urk ever saw…


2 days ago…

Thousands of giant zucchini lay in the ruins Giant Zucchini. Slowly, holes started to appear in them. 2 holes. Then another. Then hands, and feet. Then, they started to see through those 2 holes. And comprehend. And speak. Eventually, they stood up, and looked around at the ruins.

The second harvest is born.

------------------------TO BE CONTINUED------------------------

The Green Ripper strikes back at:
Escape to Slavery
Alien Resurrection
Manchester United vs Arsenal
The Matrix
Digital Fortress

Directorate of Roman Numerals to Sue Belmore Family
Director: “Arabic numerals simply have no place in international football.”

IANAPALIS, Iansisle -- H. R. Alwyn Plutternacht (MCA Pentonbridge), the Director of Roman Numerals for Charles Bradsworth’s government, has launched a legal challenge against the winning but troubled Belmore Family-Turori World Cup bid.

“World Cup XIX - notice how I pronounce the Roman numerals - has consistently been referred to by the petty monicker ‘World Cup 19’ by its new hosts,” said Plutternacht at a press conference Tuesday. “Roman numerals are much more pretentious and conceited, as befits a institution with as time-honored as the World Cup.”

Plutternacht’s department has launched a blistering legal campaign to force the Belmore Family and Turori to refer exclusively to the upcoming World Cup as ‘World Cup XIX.’ Tactics tried thus far have included whining, more whining, and even threatening to withdraw Iansisle from the upcoming tournament.

“Yes, I know its an infantile and hopeless tactic best suited to a three year old trying to make his mother buy him a new toy,” said George F. Mangan of the Directorate’s Legal Department, “but it seems to be the only way to get a case presented before the World Cup Committee. I don’t care how many temper tantrums we have to whiningly pitch or how many times we have to impotently threaten to walk out of the World Cup, we will prevail.”

Royal Standard University’s Department of Ye Olde English is currently investigating Mr Mangan for Illegal Infinitive Splitting and suspected Illegal Adverbing.

Meanwhile, Iansisleans remain amazingly consistent behind their government’s decision and legal action.

“If there ever was a World Cup that needed to be advertised Roman numerically, XIX is it,” said random passerby John P. Nudderman. “I mean, my Roman numeral club recently voted XIX the second coolest number, trailing only IV and well ahead of MMIV or XXVIII.”

Mr Nudderman is also being investigated for Illegal Adverbing.

Harry Fatrend, the counterman at the local deli where this reporter eats, offered another opinion.

“Wouldn’t it be cool,” suggested Mr Fatrend, brandishing his greasy spatula, “if all numbers in the World Cup were Roman rather than Arabic? Imagine: instead of the score being Iansisle 26, Whatever Losers Happen to Be Playing Us 1, it was Iansisle XXVI, Losers I?”

Mr Fatrend’s suggestion was retracted once it was pointed out that there is no way to express zero with Roman numerals.

“Oh, yeah,” he said, rubbing his paunchy stomach, “I suppose that wouldn’t work. With Goodman playing goal for us this year, there’s going there’ll be a zero on the board for every zero we play. Ha! How about that wordplay, eh? Eh?”

Mr Fatrend was offered a professorship in RSU’s College of Puns, Hockey, and Star Trek immediately following the interview (an expression of how far that once prestigious institution has sunk? See editorial pp. 27!) and wandered off with a dazed expression on his meaty face.

The World Cup Committee and the winning bid’s response to the Iansislean lawsuit is not currently known.

*from a snippet of scuttlebutt, dated XI XXI MMIV*

...concur with the Iansislian contention that Roman Numerals are, while not mandatory, by well established precedent the accepted method of numbering World Cups. While there are II sides to this story, this will be the XIXth World Cup, spanning a period of LXXII years, and each and every I has been advertised using Roman Numerals. IV out of V Footballers, responding to a survery taken III days ago, selected Roman Numerals as the most appropriate numbering system for World Cups. In fact, out of the sampling of CCXXXVII Footballers, CLXXXI were in favor of using Roman Numerals not only when referring to World Cup XIX itself, but also when selecting Groups for Qualifiers (Group I, Group II, Group III, Group IV, etc), as well as on uniforms. For example; "In the LXIIIrd minute the Hooligans substituted number XXII (Tweedle Dee) for number IX (Tweedle Dum)."

Should Iansisle follow through on the law suit they have threatened against The Belmore Family on this subject, this article will be submitted as a Friend of the Court Brief (Amicus Curia). Additionally, in such an instance, the resources of the Ministry of Justice and Real Estate will be placed at the disposal of Iansisle.

Anita Brake
Minister of Picking Numbers Out Of A Hat
Snub Nose XXXVIII

*editors note: When asked about the issue of representing zero ("0") in Roman Numerals, Ms Brake replied "X minus X comment".

*the minister of super secret sleuthery, jack cass, secretly (and sleutherishly) mails copies of this article, under cover of a memorandum requesting that they join Snub Nose XXXVIII in supporting the iansislian law suit, to the nations of VIIJM, Dance II Revolution, and I Red Dot*

VXXII, CVXXXI, VXIIIrd

The Minister of III things, II contradictory and I to do with roman numerals in some way would like to know what number VX is.

The History Of Maserratian Football

As World Cup 19 gets underway, now seems like a good time to review all of Maserrat’s past competitions, just to see how they’ve progress over the years. Maserrat has taken part in seven tournaments before this one, and we’ll start at the very beginning

Under-21 World Cup 4
This was Maserrat’s first ever football competition. So young…so naïve. Things went off to the very best of starts with a 2-1 win over Ebon Hawk. There was an even greater shock when the team pulled off an amazing 1-1 draw with cup-holders Jerusalem. They still had a chance of progressing on the final day of the group stage, but a 3-1 defeat to would-be-winners Bedistan left them sitting in third, a position that would become all to familiar for the team…

Maserrat 2-1 Ebon Hawk
Jerusalem 1-1 Maserrat
Bedistan 3-1 Maserrat

1. Ebon Hawk
2. Bedistan
3. Maserrat
4. Jerusalem

Under-21 World Cup 5
Maserrat took another bite of the cherry in the next U21 Championships. This time they were in a group of six, with old friends Jerusalem. This time however there was no joy as they went down 3-0 to them. A 3-3 draw with Wella and a 1-0 win over Aarolee left them still in with a chance of progressing, but another 3-3 draw with The Eagles Nest and a 1-0 win over Dance 2 Revolution were not enough to see them through, as they were pipped to the post on goal difference.

Jerusalem 3-0 Maserrat
Wella 3-3 Maserrat
Maserrat 1-0 Aarolee
The Eagles Nest 3-3 Maserrat
Maserrat 1-0 Dance 2 Revolution

1. Jerusalem
2. The Eagles Nest
3. Maserrat
4. Wella
5. Dance 2 Revolution
6. Aarolee

Under-21 World Cup 6
This time, Maserrat were seeded (17th), and felt they had a good chance of going through. Unfortunately they were placed in the group of death with Starblaydia and Aquiliana, and struggled. They lost 4-1 to Aquiliana, followed by a 3-0 thrashing by Starblaydia. They enjoyed a comfortable 6-2 win over whipping boys Kitana, their biggest victory so far, but that was to be the final joy as they finished (do you want to wager a guess?) third.

Aquiliana 4-1 Maserrat
Maserrat 0-3 Starblaydia
Kitana 2-6 Maserrat

1. Starblaydia
2. Aquiliana
3. Maserrat
4. Kitana

Pre-WC18 Baptism Of Fire Cup
With the realisation that maybe some full international experience was needed, Maserrat decided to try the long route, the BoF. It was a wager that was to pay dividends. They always looked the favourites in their group, and despite the minor blip of a 1-1 draw with Ashibot, everything went off without a hitch, and they finished top. The results just kept on coming, as they beat Maldunia and Castillanos on the way to the final. A final 3-1 win over Smoking Pits got them the trophy, and a catapult up the world rankings for the World Cup.

Maserrat 4-2 Myrulesia
Maserrat 1-1 Ashibot
Allsio 2-3 Maserrat

1. Maserrat
2. Myrulesia
3. Allsio
4. Ashibot

Maserrat 3-2 Maldunia

Castillanos 2-4 Maserrat

Maserrat 3-1 Smoking Pits

World Cup 18
So, things were set up for an Aquilianian-esque stint in the World Cup. Things couldn’t have turned out differently. Two defeat to ORD and Kylaai saw them bottom of the group, and it took a win over Maldunia to get things back on track. The next three results led to even more disappointment, but there was a shock when Maserrat got a 1-1 draw in Vilita, and things got a little better from there. The team went on a 5 game unbeaten run eventually stopped by TLC. As the final game beckoned they were in with a chance of fourth place. However a 3-0 defeat to Vilita led to a disappointing sixth place finish.

One Red Dot 3-0 Maserrat
Maserrat 0-1 Kylaai
Maserrat 3-0 Maldunia
Maserrat 0-2 The Lowland Clans
Lykaia 4-1 Maserrat
Somalialand 2-2 Maserrat
Vilita 1-1 Maserrat
Maserrat 0-0 One Red Dot
Kylaai 0-1 Maserrat
Maldunia 2-4 Maserrat
The Lowland Clans 4-0 Maserrat
Maserrat 2-2 Lykaia
Maserrat 4-1 Somalialand
Maserrat 0-3 Vilita

1. Vilita
2. One Red Dot
3. The Lowland Clans
4. Kylaai
5. Lykaia
6. Maserrat
7. Maldunia
8. Somalialand

Under-21 World Cup 7
While things weren’t going too well in the full team, there was an air of expectancy around the 10th seeded Dynamos. Once again however they missed out after a heavily disputed match between Bedistan and The Lowland Clans, in which the underdogs got victory, thus condemning Maserrat to another third place finish. Wins against Legalese and The Lowland Clans were not enough to see them through, as they went out on aggregate points.

Legalese 0-1 Maserrat
Maserrat 0-3 Bedistan
The Lowland Clans 1-3 Maserrat

1. Bedistan
2. The Lowland Clans
3. Maserrat
4. Legalese

Cup Of Harmony 10
And so we come to Maserrat’s seventh tournament. After the World Cup, the team were invited to play in this tournament, and they gladly obliged. Unexpectedly they made it through the group stage after a win over Cockbill Street and a draw against Krytenia, but lost out in the quarter-finals to The Weegies. Nevertheless this was some vital experience that could improve their rank further.

Cockbill Street 0-1 Maserrat
Maserrat 2-3 Nova Brittanicus
Maserrat 1-1 Krytenia

1. Krytenia
2. Maserrat
3. Cockbill Street
4. Nova Brittanicus

Maserrat 1-2 The Weegies

And so we come to the present day – with WC19 and U21WC8 just around the corner, things appear to be on the up for Maserrat. Although the record may not be the best at the moment, expect it to improve dramatically, and help them up into realms of the world’s greatest footballing nations.

The Record

Played: 38
Won: 16
Drawn: 9
Lost: 13
Win Percentage: 42%
Goals Scored: 64
Goals Conceded: 65
Ave. Goals Scored/Game: 1.68
Ave Goals Conceded/Game: 1.71

As the entire Progressan nation struggles to come to terms with the fact that they nearly won the World Cup, the official Progressan squad for the opening qualifiers of WC19 is being chosen. It is expected to be a younger side than the legends of WC18, but Sani Luvo - many pundits' player of the tournament - is, frighteningly, still only 21. And five teenagers are expected to be chosen, including 16-year-old Bazia Juasi of Quarua Lakeside.

The official squad will be confirmed tonight.

Meanwhile, as controversy rages over the location of the finals, most Progressans are believed to support the officially chosen TBF/Turori bid, but accept there are questions over the legality, Turori having hosted matches in the Progressa/Vilita-hosted World Cup 17 in the Almintora National Stadium, expanded by Progressan architecture giants Steel As Decoration for that Cup. 'We can only hope that a precedent is set and stuck to for future reference, and that wherever the Cup is held it is one that we remember,' said Faiwe Irafma diplomatically.

The Minister of III things, II contradictory and I to do with roman numerals in some way would like to know what number VX is.That would be "60". You see, here in the Frost-Free Borderlands, in the hick towns that Anita Brake comes from, when they write an "L" they kind of lean it over to the left, and often it resembles a "V"...

well, if there was ever a pathetic attempt to cover a blatant error, that was it...

Dance 2 Revolution to declare new Head Coach.

It emerged today that Terry Freeze, 73, would resign from his post of management of International team Dance 2 Revolution. Details of a new Head Coach have not been released but are said to be given after the draw for World Cup 19 Qualifying Groups has been made. The Revolutionary Association of Football(RAF) has declared it's sadness of having to let someone who had taken the international team to whole new levels of greatness. They also believe that the switch may benefit the team in the long run. A Represetative of the RAF told gathered media: 'A new approach to the team may hold some reprocussions early on, but in the long run, something fresh is needed to a team to take it forward.'

The RAF have told D2R citizens that they will not be dissapointed with the new Head Coach, and that they will be pleasantly surprised when the news is given.

We here at Piquantrax are glad to annoucne the entry of our country's finest soccer players. Seeing to the fact that this is our first world cup, this should be quite interesting.
However young we are WC wise, we are quite old NS wise. Formerly Aport which was founded in late november 2002. So we have a few veterans from that former nation on our team. Along with these oldie but goodies we have a teen sensation who hopefully, with his world renouned corners, will lead us to victory, and hopefully some respect.

Hiiraanians watches Draw closely, The citizens Glued to the TV stations

Citizens hear in hiireaan have been glued to the T.V stations all day long, no one even went to pee, not even to get food and snacks, well it has been like this for the whole night, giverment stopped to watch very closely the draw and everyone was set into mood to see hiiraan place this year, Who were we going to face, Hiiraan years hear were not as difficult as once thought but it has been tough, to get the real picture, we have to go back to SOMALIALAND.

SOMALIALAND

Somalialand started with a very rocky start, Proplem started early with the WCC members and LE, WCC members Somalialand had proplems with included its major rival and later major buddy vilita, and then other non WCC members somalialand really had proplems with included masserat and lowland clans, it also included the infamous nation of LE, who queralls about 50% of the time here.

Somalialand was tough in its attitude and later realised that it neeeded to change, unfourtunenetly the hiiraan revolution finished off somalialand and put fourth Hiiraan.

Hiiraan now the dominat natin is still somali and nothing mush has changed, the only thing that has changed is the attitude and the players, everything else is the same, now adays hiiraan is respected around the world except Liverpool England, well cant you balme them for not, they are over sensative about everything.

Hiiraan and the Football team are very crazy about this cup and want to finish respectfully.


Hiiraan

Vikings prepare for second World Cup entry

Vanguard, Fmjphoenix: After dropping our of the Cup of Harmony from eventual champions Sarzonia, the Fmjphoeinx Vikings have been working hard in preperation for World Cup 19. THe team has been working on getting faster and raising their stamina and endurence to work the whole field for lots of time.

"I think we have progressed physically and mentally since the last world cup. We have gained a lot more expierence and feel like we can play even better" Mike Nolan said during an exclusive, "we will be a better force to be recokoned with."

With the addition of Mariano Rodriquez to the coaching staff following his retirement, the staff feels the team will be a strong presence in whichever group they are drawn in. Coach Accrew and Pulmore have been monitering the lower leagues for up and coming talent to include onto the team to replace the retirement of both Rodriqez and Falon Flan, who will exclusivly coach the Junior Vikings U21WC teams. They have helped Flan fill out a solid looking team for U21WC8.

"I think with who he has under him will not only help him have a successful run, but will be a great place for our main team to look for the next superstar." Coach Pulmore said

The team has remained very optomistic about their chances of qualifying in WC19. THey played solid for most matches, while underachieving in others, in one of the most competative groups from WC18, and never gave up in going 3-4-7 in their first World Cup entry. In the Baptism of Fire before the WC, they went 3-0-1 and in the Cup of Harmony, they went 1-1-2, giving the senior squad a total record of 7-5-10 in 22 total matches, a winning percentage of 31.8%. It is the hope of the Kingdom of Fmjphoenix that the Vikings can move on to the qualifying rounds their second trip. Stay tuned for roster updates soon.

The World Cup !9 Draw:
Group 1:
Squornshelous 9
Starblaydia 14
Krytenia 31
Druida 36
Vorpal Bunnies 74
Dead Rockstars 150
Laxmarak 150
Remich 150

Group 2:
Svecia 10
Commerce Heights 20
Cockbill Street 28
Oddslavo 51
Haperd 78
Gallistien 150
Huahin 150
The Immaculate Youth 150

Group 3:
Iansisle 5
Crystilakere 19
Jeruselem 24
Maserrat 47
Oceaice 65
7JM 109
Lethislavania 150
Runaway Moose 150

Group 4:
Total n Utter Insanity 8
Liverpool England 11
Aquiliana 22
Wella 45
Nova Britannicus 70
Anglevia 150
Hisam 150
Pterodactyl 150

Group 5:
The Eagle's Nest 4
Melmond 17
One Red Dot 27
Spaam 35
Fmjphoenix 60
Kipto-Mare 85
Lennon Marx 150
Phazania 150

Group 6:
Kaze Progressa 3
NEWI Cefn Druids 13
EL CID THE HERO 26
The Weegies 43
Legalese 67
Chonchland 150
Munchkinloopa 150
Sliponia 150


Group 7:
Rejistania 1
Eauz 12
Esth 32
Kylaai 46
The Evil Umpire 52
Adam Island 150
Hiiraan 150
Villapange 150

Group 8:
Audioslavia 6
The Lowland Clans 18
Sarzonia 30
Lykaia 44
Slaikau 66
Antixilian Fatwah 150
Middle March 150
Zvarinograd 150

Group 9:
Bedistan 7
Lovisa 21
Snub Nose 38 29
Raptor Claw 34
Big Pimento 59
Gaziantep 150
Hammerund 150
Shonar Bangla 150

Group 10:
Vilita 2
Dance 2 Revolution 16
Tadjikistan 25
Oaker 38
Finrods 71
Giant Zucchini 150
Nastic 150
Piquantrax 150

Squornshelous Drawn Into Group 1

The Pschychoes, who are ranked in the top ten for the second time ever, have been placed into Group 1, along with Starblaydia, Krytenia, Druida, Vorpal Bunnies, Dead Rockstars, Laxmarak, and Remich. "The problem with this setup is that we're the group favorites here," said new Manager Sergei Korolev, "that pesky anti-favorite virus could still be around our training facilities somewhere." This infamous virus caused the 12th ranked Pschychoes to miss out on qualification for World Cup 14 and subsequently ravaged other teams such as Snub Nose 38. "We've got some of our best medical minds on hand here and everyone's been given a vaccine, so I think we'll be okay."

Group 1:
Squornshelous 9
Starblaydia 14
Krytenia 31
Druida 36
Vorpal Bunnies 74
Dead Rockstars 150
Laxmarak 150
Remich 150

Starblaydia:
The obvious threat to us in this one, we may or may not have played them before, and we definitely won, drew or lost.

Krytenia:
They're unpredicatable. At times they can take out high ranking teams, but could just as easily lose to the bottom half of this group and go down into obscurity.

Druida:
Some persons of possible celtic origin playing football don't really seem to be a threat to us, but look for them to pick off either Krytenia or Starblaydia.

Vorpal Bunnies:
Be vewy vewy quiet, we're hunting wabbits! They are a remote threat to qualify, but shouldn't offer much in the way of competition to us.

Dead Rockstars:
With possible players Kurt Cobain, Jerry Garcia and Jimmi Hendrix, they could be the most muscially talented team on the field for this cup. However, we don't think their football skills are up to the same standard.

Laxmarak:
For a minute, we thought they were a printing company, however, we discovered we actually don't know anything about them at all.

Remich:
It's time for a Remich![/lame joke]. We don't expect them to do anything too spectacular on the field though, don't pawn those turntables yet.


btw, is there a Referee thread yet?

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST

The Names Are Familiar...

Krytenia have been drawn in Group One of the World Cup Qualifiers. Let's have a look at the group in detail.

SQUORNSHELOUS
Previous Games:
KRY 1-3 SQU, WC16Q
SQU 0-1 KRY, WC16Q
Beaten by the Celestials twelve years ago, can they get their own back?

STARBLAYDIA
Previous Games:
None.
Surprisingly, will meet for the first time on Matchday Six. Celestials hopeful of a Starbecue on MD13.

KRYTENIA
Previous Games:
Er...
COME ON YOU CELESTIALS!

DRUIDA
Previous Games:
None
Surprise package of Eighteen, could do anything.

VORPAL BUNNIES
Previous Games:
VPB 1-4 KRY, WC17Q
KRY 4-0 VPB, WC17Q
Sentient rabbits? Too much for the lagophobic Adam Vernazza.

DEAD ROCKSTARS
Previous Games:
None
They're rockstars. They're deceased. Next.

LAXMARAK
Previous Games:
None
Appear to have disintegrated.

REMICH
Previous Games:
None
Who?

SCHEDULE:
v Remich (Kallia)
v Dead Rockstars (Davisham)
v Vorpal Bunnies (Aigburth)
@ Laxmarak
@ Squornshelous
@ Starblaydia
v Druida (Avidia)
@ Remich
@ Dead Rockstars
@ Vorpal Bunnies
v Laxmarak (Avidia)
v Squornshelous (Everton City)
v Starblaydia (Everton City)
@ Druida

Stars draw 'light' assignment in Group 8


Group 8:
Audioslavia 6
The Lowland Clans 18
Sarzonia 30
Lykaia 44
Slaikau 66
Antixilian Fatwah 150
Middle March 150
Zvarinograd 150

The Sarzonian national team drew Group 8 for the second consecutive tournament after drawing Group 9 in each of its first two World Cups. Unlike the last tournament, the Stars do not face the top ranked and defending champions Rejistania along with 15th ranked Commerce Heights.

"Audioslavia is going to be a tough opponent though we've faced tough opponents before," Coach Dave Wilson said. "The Lowland Clans is the next highest ranked team at number 18, then we're number 30. We have our best chance to advance in the World Cup with this draw."

Three unranked teams are in Group 8, but Wilson cautioned his team against taking any of the teams in the group lightly.

"Remember we lost to Legalese," Wilson said. "That basically cost us a World Cup berth, but I don't think a team that loses to the eighth seed deserves to go through. We have to beat the teams lower than we are in the rankings and get some results against the higher ranked teams.

"I don't want to have to try to defend the Cup of Harmony title," Wilson said, in reference to the Cup of Harmony being the consolation prize for teams that miss out on the World Cup. "I'd like us to get into the World Cup finals and then do something when we're there."

The Stars are facing a goalkeeper controversy for the first time since the inaugural AOCAF tournament, which marked their first-ever tournament against international competition. Goalkeeper John Bartlett shined for the Stars in the debut of the second choice Stars team that finished in third place for the third of four runnings of the AOCAF tournament.

"John's really pushing Troy," Wilson said. "We've got some great depth on our national team that we didn't have before. "[Defender] Trevor Crenshaw and [midfielder] Dix Porter are also big revelations to us. We'll be fine."

Dave Wilson said the thing about this World Cup was that all the teams the Stars are facing are unfamiliar to them.

"This is a lot like World Cup 16. We were the big unknowns then. We're going to have to hope that lack of familiarity will work to our advantage."

Is First Place Possible?
Starblaydia hoping to overturn Squornshelous for Top Spot

Over in The Belmore Family for the draw was a large Starblaydi contingent, who met up in an 'altercation' with some members of the Krytenian Football Association...

The driver slammed on the brakes and beeped the horn loudly as the two cars screeched to a halt, both trying to get into the same parking space in the lot.

'Who the hell you you think you are?' shouted one of the other car's occupants in a thick Melmondian accent, sticking his head out of the limousine's sunroof. 'I invoke the all nations agreement article number 39436175880932/B!'

'What the hell is this guy doing?' asked Simeone Di Bradini, opening the door and stepping out, quickly followed by stout Dwarf Khim Azanulbizarn.

'State ye purpose, laddie!' shouted the short dwarf at the other car, bearing the symbol of the Krytenian Football Association.

'39436175880932/B', he shouted again. Simeone frowned as he recognised the man, though Khim was none the wiser. 'All nations attending the conference are only allocated one parking space.'

'Get your lazy arse out here, Acienko,' Simeone called, planting his hands on his hips. 'And back your car up, this is our space.'

'I'm not coming out, Di Bradini!' he shouted from beneath his sunroof.

'Figures,' Simeone muttered, thinking back to the rumours he had heard while playing in the Melmond Invitational. "Ace" Rimmer never had quite put those rumours behind him of just exactly who's kipper he had smoked. 'But why the hell d'you think we have two cars?'

'I saw your manager parking up earlier!' came the reply.

'Are ye blind, ye great fool?' Khim bellowed his retort. 'That was a taxi ye moron!'

'It... was?'

'Ace, move the damn car back, the draw may have been re-started three times, but we're still late, dammit.' Simeone saw the area behind the KFA limo light up with the reversing lights. 'Go on, move it.'

Nothing happened. Khim raised an eyebrow and looked up at "SDB". Simeone looked down and nodded. With a cry the Dwarf dropped his shoulder and charged, uttering his family's battlecry. After marginally denting the driver's door and rattling the window a bit, the engine revved up into the red-zone and tyres squealed as the KFA limo shot back a few dozen yards before screeching off again.

'You think they'll be all out of dry white wine and Perrier by the time he's found a parking space?' Simeone failed to stifle an amused grin.

'I dunnae care, mate, just as long as there's ale, I'll be a happy Dwarf.'

'That you will,' he replied, patting the Dwarf on the shoulder, which was quite a stretch, for Simeone was not a short man, 'park it, Juan.'

some time later...

'...and in Group 1, Starblaydia.'

Simeone just raised his eybrows and turned in his seat to face Khim behind him.

'Figures, doesn't it?'

'That be fate,' the Dwarf replied, 'it's clobberin' time.'

'Save it!' Whispered their Manager, Guylain N'Dumbu-Nsungu, under his breath, still trying to smile. 'You can smoke their kippers all over Penningworth's ground on Matchday Three if you like.'

Both players looked at their head coach in shock.

'Guy,' said Simeone with a faked frown, 'you're getting old, man. You're not down with the kids any more.'

'I can do leetspeak!' he protested.

'Even worse fer ye, Coach,' Khim agreed with his colleague. 'Best not tae say any more, now.'

So Starblaydia's Group was decided, and all the stuff looks like this:


Group 1:
Team Rank
Squornshelous 9
Starblaydia 14
Krytenia 31
Druida 36
Vorpal Bunnies 74
Dead Rockstars 150
Laxmarak 150
Remich 150

Though Starblaydia are actually sixteenth in the World, as far as we know, Turori in 15th and The Belmore Family some way above us are both auto-qualifiers, which pushes our seeding up to 14th, we assume. Either way thats good, as Starblaydis tend to regard the number 4 and its derivatives as lucky.


Starblaydi Matchday Schedule
Starblaydia Vs Dead Rockstars (Foundation Road, Jhanna, 75,000)
Starblaydia Vs Laxmarak (Victory Park, Vecchio, 48,000)
Starblaydia Vs Remich (Silverlands, Corinth, 36,000)
Starblaydia Vs Vorpal Bunnies (Reavers Stadium, Hallad, 42,000)
Starblaydia Vs Druida (Bekkside Stadium, Tabeck, 33,000)
Starblaydia Vs Krytenia (Iota "Big Eye" Arena, Penningworth, 85,000)
Squornshelous Vs Starblaydia
Dead Rockstars Vs Starblaydia
Laxmarak Vs Starblaydia
Remich Vs Starblaydia
Vorpal Bunnies Vs Starblaydia
Druida Vs Starblaydia
Krytenia Vs Starblaydia (Oxley Park, Everton City)
Starblaydia Vs Squornshelous (Jader Barbahlo Stadium, Jhanna, 94,000)

TENFA #1: they've already drawn?

TENFA #2: yeah, we have a good group by the rankings...but then again, rankings mean nothing.

TENFA #1: Coach Adams got his team all together?

TENFA #2: Not yet, but he should have it ready by the end of the week.

TENFA #1: yeah, well, at least we'll get to use these cheer boxes.

TENFA #2: Who made those again?

#1: no clue...but they are neat. I just love to listen to them.

#2: yeah.

Ranked last in the last group. But hey, at least we are here.

Don: As you have just witnessed in The Belmore Family, Legalese has drawn a group of unfamiliar opposition. Their placement in Group 6 comes with #3 Kaze Progressa, #13 NEWI Cefn Druids, #26 El Cid the Hero, and #43 The Weegies all in front of them.

Jim: Agreed. The best news for the Black and Red was that they have now jumped up to #67 in the World Rankings, likely the result of their second-place finish in the Cup of Harmony. Hopefully they can take the Cup home with them this time.

Don: Not so fast, Jim. With three unranked teams in their group, it is not unrealistic to think that they could be taking a trip to either Turori or TBF next year for the Final. Most of this team is returning, having now played together not only through the last qualifiers, but prior to that in the Baptism of Fire, in the Cup of Harmony, as well as their run in the Fourth Eagle's Cup, where they faced Turori, Starbladyia, and Audioslavia. A schedule like that is sure to experience a group quite quickly.

Jim: Only time will tell, Don. That, and the next 14 matchdays. We'll be back.

Zucchini Resurrection:
Episode 1: Great Expectations

Head Coach of the Giant Zucchini football team, Mr Tolar, looks at the World Cup 19 Qualifying Draw.

“Boy, we’ve got a mountain to climb,” he sits in his office talking to himself.

“Vilita, second seed, Dance 2 Revolution, shouldn’t that be Dance II Revolution? Tadjikistan? Oaker? What are these countries?” He switches on his computer and does a search.

“Wait, what is this?”

He clicks on a link. It reads: Giant Zucchini Archives: Football

A long list appears on the screen.

“1-1 against Dance 2 Revolution? 2-1, 1-0 against Oaker? 1-0, 1-1 against…Nastic 2? What about Nastic…1? Are we going against Nastic 1?”

He continues to plow through the list. He finally reaches the bottom, and gets a shock.

Wins - Draws - Losses: 125 - 35 - 56

Mr Tolar lets out a big sigh. “Talk about great expectations…”

------------------------TO BE CONTINUED------------------------

The Green Ripper strikes back at:
Escape to Slavery
Alien Resurrection
Manchester United vs Arsenal
The Matrix
Great Expectations

WC19: Against All Odds...lavos

Welcome to the WC19 Preview Special

Tom: This just in we have the WC19 Group Draw.

Total n Utter Insanity
Liverpool England
Aquiliana
Wella
Nova Britannicus
Anglevia
Hisam
Pterodactyl

Jake: Wow, if ever there was a qualifying group of death, that would have to be it.

Tom: Indeed. TnUI might end up battling Nova Britannicus for 4th.

Jake: I wouldn't go that far. The matches against Liverpool England, should be hotly contested, a win for LE would see them gloat about the time the former champs beat us for the next 40 years.

Tom: Aquiliana surely has to be the upset merchant of the current era of football; they have screwed over a handful of sides.

Jake: Wella are like that annoying friend that just won't go away.

Tom: Nova Britannicus, Anglevia, Hisam and Pterodactyl

Jake: Who?

Tom: Exactly.

Music and Fade.

Oops

Why is it always us who seem to be in groups where we can easily be eliminated?

Dance 2 Revolution seem to be hated by the hosts when it comes to a group draw. Will we ever get a break? Dance 2 Revolution fans also complained about being overtaken by Starblaydia in the rankings, despite getting further than them in the tournament. But let's get on with WHO we drew this time, shall we?


Group 10:
Vilita 2
Dance 2 Revolution 16
Tadjikistan 25
Oaker 38
Finrods 71
Giant Zucchini 150
Nastic 150
Piquantrax 150


And Histories:

Vilita(Rank 2)

We have seen these guys recently in the WC18 Final 16, when we dramatically beat them on penalties. We believe that Vilita should cruise into 1st place, but we hope to make sure that the cruise is less of a Carribean and more Antarctic.


World Cup 13Q: Vilita 0 - 0 Dance 2 Revolution
World Cup 13Q: Dance 2 Revolution 1 - 0 Vilita
World Cup 15Q: Dance 2 Revolution 2 - 0 Vilita
World Cup 15Q: Vilita 0 - 1 Dance 2 Revolution
World Cup 18 2R: Vilita 3 - 3 Dance 2 Revolution (AET Dance 2 Revolution win 4-2 in Penalty Kicks)

Record:
Win: 4
Draw: 1
Lose: 0
Goals For: 7(11)
Goals Against: 3(5)
Goal Differential: +4(+6)


Tadjikistan(Rank 25)

Tadjikistan, a slightly inconsistent side for the Revolutionaries, D2R will be looking to make up for their inconsistency this cup.


Cup of Harmony(WC13): Dance 2 Revolution 4 - 1 Tadjikistan
World Cup 15 1R: Dance 2 Revolution 0 - 3 Tadjikistan

Record:
Win: 1
Draw: 0
Lose: 1
Goals For: 4
Goals Against: 4
Goals Differential: 0


Oaker(Rank 38)

Could be a threat to a qualifying place. We aren't sure. We haven't seen these guys play, a disadvantage to us, but hopefully won't cause too many problems

Finrods(Rank 71)

Know very little about these as well. Shouldn't cause too many problems to anyone hoping for a qualifying spot.

Giant Zucchini(Rank 150)

We've played these guys before in their high time. But now they are into rebuilding, they don't look threatening. Maybe in a few cups though.


World Cup 14 1R: Giant Zucchini 1 - 1 Dance 2 Revolution

Record:
Win: 0
Draw: 1
Lose: 0
Goals For: 1
Goals Against: 1
Goals Differential: 0


There are two other Rank 150's in the group...we haven't played them so we won't mention them, again shouldn't cause too many worries.

Naoki Maeda declared as new Dance 2 Revolution head coach

After the World Cup draw, the RAF announced the new head coach of D2R to be 35 year old D2R midfield legend Naoki Maeda, who had retired from playing football last year after an injury he believed was his body telling him he'd played one match too many. Maeda told the media: 'It is great to be back in the footballing eye again, Managing my country is the best way, i believe, to get back. I am overjoyed with the offer and took it up straight away.'

He his believed to be announcing his team sheet later this week

Bar is risen high for Fmjphoenix as they get ready for group qualifying round

The Vikings Coaching Staff and The FPFA officials have been going through the group draw and have decided this could be a breakout for the Vikings. They have been placed into Group 5, which looks something like this:

Group 5:
The Eagle's Nest 4
Melmond 17
One Red Dot 27
Spaam 35
Fmjphoenix 60
Kipto-Mare 85
Lennon Marx 150
Phazania 150

Taking a big jump in the world rankings from 87th last cup to 60th for WC19, the bar has been placed higher for the Vikings as they are being expected to place 3rd by a few sports anylists. Lets look at some history and see what the Vikings have to face in order to qualify.

The Eagles Nest: A familiar foe from WC18. The Vikings have squared off against the Eagles twice in their short history, and both times were close matches losing both matches against them to the same score 2-1. Will this be the Vikings time to exact revenge and strike down the Eagles?

Melmond: The Vikings will have to play hard against Melmond, as they qualified first in their group in WC18. Look for the Vikings to try and outhustle Melmond for any goals it can.

One Red Dot: ORD rankd second in Group 6 in WC18, behind Vilita. This looks to be another fierce battle waiting to happen, we will have to see what the Vikings will do against another tough competetor.

Spaam: Spaam was a 4th place finisher in Group 1 in WC18, and will be fighting with Fmjphoenix for and ORD for the 3rd place in the qualifying rounds here. Look for Fmjphoenix to attack hard and fast with their quicker players to try and get ahead of them.

Fmjphoenix: Intra-squad games are always fun to see and good practice, but they wont be competing against themselves.

Kipto-Mare: The FPFA has not gotten much information about Kipto-Mare, but they do know that they finished 7th in Group 3 in WC18.

Lennon Marx: New team to competition in WC, look for Fmjphoenix to try and use expierence and poise to keep the team together and focused to win.

Phazania: Another new team in the group. Expect the Vikings to keep their heads into playing together and not assuming they will win.

The Vikings will have a few new faces around the team with the retirements of Mariano Rodriquez and Falon Flan, but the core of the team remains unchanged. This plans to be a fun and exciting tournament. Stay tuned for roster updates and schedules.

Adam Island drew the toughest group in the Baptism of Fire, and they have now drawn the toughest group in the qualifier for the World Cup proper. Their group includes defending champion #1 ranked Rejistania, #12 Eauz and BofF groupmate Hiiraan.

Group 7:
Team Name Current Rank (before BofF)
Rejistania 1
Eauz 12
Esth 32
Kylaai 46
The Evil Umpire 52
Adam Island 150
Hiiraan 150
Villapange 150

The top 3 teams qualify for the cup. They will use the same roster as in the Baptism of Fire tournament.

WC19 Groups Announced

A month earlier than planned, the qualifying groups were drawn for the nineteenth installment of the world's greatest sporting event. Audioslavia, ranked sixth for the third consecutive time, are the group's seeded team.

Audioslavia are drawn with just one recognisable team, them being The Lowland Clans whom the 'slaves played in World Cup 17, coming out of the game on the right side of a 3-2 scoreline. Out of the rest, Sarzonia are the only team that have been properly impressive in recent years and will be tipped to progress. Lykaia and Slaiku are here again and will look to trip up the top three, whilst the rear-end of the group is taken up by Antixilian Fatwah, Middle March and Zvarinograd. Neither of the above teams look instantly dangerous. Although all of them are taking part in the Baptism of Fire tournament, they all are 0-0-2 after two games, with Middle March taking a 3-0 beating from Audioslavia's little friends Dead Rockstars. Out of the three, Zvarinograd have looked the sharper and will be most likely to upset the stronger teams.

Soundgardian On Sunday's predictions:
1 - Sarzonia
2 - Audioslavia
3 - Lykaia
4 - The Lowland Clans
5 - Slaiku
6 - Zvarinograd
7 - Middle March
8 - Antixillian Fatwah

Cornellby Press's predictions:
1 - Sarzonia
2 - Audioslavia
3 - The Lowland Clans
4 - Zvarinograd
5 - Lykaia
6 - Middle March
7 - Slaiku
8 - Antixillian Fatwah

Machinegrad Metropolitan's predictions:
1 - Audioslavia
2 - The Lowland Clans
3 - Slaiku
4 - Lykaia
5 - Sarzonia
6 - Zvarinograd
7 - Antixillian Fatwah
8 - Middle March

TnUFBI Predictions:
1 - Slaiku
2 - Sarzonia
3 - Lykaia
4 - Antixillian Fatwah
5 - The Lowland Clans
6 - Middle March
7 - Zvarinograd
8 - Lanky Dude
9 - Audioslavia

Cockbill on Road to Branston Pickle

As Audioslavia continues its search for a new manager, it seems Cockbill Street have ended theres... by recruiting ex-Audioslavia boss Lee Branson.

Branson, 50, is the most successful manager ever to coach the 'slaves and is expected to go some way to turn around the 'Street's awful misfortunes in recent times.

Meanwhile in Audioslavia, Paul Wards' gap should be filled (ooer!) before the qualifiers get underway, but in the event that a suitable replacement cannot be found, caretaker boss Dave Mill will keep hold of the team. Mill was Ward's deputy in World Cup 18 and played alongside Ward in the WC11 qualifiers before both players were dropped after difficult starts.

Branson Calls It - Group Of Indifference
New G'irgah Hopes To See Streetians Through

Despite Cockbill Street being seeded third in the World Cup XIX qualifying group, Lee Branson, the new g'irgah, has high hopes for the qualifying series. He was, however, disappointed with the lack of interest in the group.

"Svecia...aren't they the ones who keep turning out Mikael Solskjaer? He must be in a wheelchair now, been playing since WC10...and Commerce Heights, they are so money-run that they can't keep their eye on the ball. Good for us, of course, but it'll be a shame to have so few opposing supporters," Branson said to the crowd of journalists, who understood his English perfectly well and no Dwarfish was required - thankfully. A journalist from the U'rah'gah I'rnd'razh was later seen in a pub with another from the C-inquirer, apparently trying to get a translation.

The other teams in the group are not to be taken lightly...oh hang on, yes, they are. Of the five teams, there are three newcomers - Gallistien, Huahin and The Immaculate Youth. Little is known about the first two, however, The Immaculate Youth has done a fine job in the Baptism of Fire, led by Christopher Gavara as manager and captain and striker Mark Sagana. They play an attacking 3-3-4 formation in the Baptism of Fire, where they won their first match by 2-1 against Anglevia.

The two teams with at least some World Cup experience are Oddslavo and Haperd. The Odd Slaves are very secretive, but rumours have it that they are closely associated with the Liverpudlians, which probably means they'll shout "F1X0R3D!" every five minutes. This must be our chance to grab the ball, run up the field and score goals. A simple, but effective tactic against the Odd Slaves. Haperd are known to be fairly hapless - as far as we know, they have never been eligible for the Cup of Harmony, which suggests that the general populace probably doesn't even know that a World Cup is going on. Rated seventy-eighth on the unofficial rankings, the hapless Haperders should be eliminated easily.

What'choo talkin' bout, Willis?

'I expect we'll be pretty much at the bottom of our group after the first four games,' said Nova Britannicus and Iskara Daii midfielder Wilbert Willis in an interview yesterday.

'I mean, we're playing te four sides above us first, if we get any points from them at all then I'll be a very happy bunny,' he went on to say, 'Just look at our games against Liverpool England when we tried to qualify last time around: A five-one thrashing and a four-nil kicking. And we were on the wrong side of those, if you'll recall.'

But surely Wella can be overcome by the gallant Nova Britannicians?

'They're the first team that we've got to take some points off of if we've got any chance of qualification,' he said, 'all that "wella, wella, wella, huh!" stuff goes out the window once you're on the pitch.'

But, crucially, what about the three debutant teams, what are his opinions of how those are going to go?

'I've seen some of Hisam's players train and they look to be a good outfit, and we've all got some point of reference for Pterodactyl, what with their Raptor Claw ancestry. Anglevia, on the other hand, I have no clue about. Not a video, nothing.'

So where will the Navy-Blues end up in the group, according to his 'veteran' experience as at 28, he's the joint-oldest player in the side.

'I think, that If we play to our strengths and get in amongst them, into their heads too with some mind games, that we can just about come away with fourth. I don't think we can expect to break into the crucial top three, but fourth is a distinct possibility. And if we're in fourth, who knows?'

The group draw for the qualifiers took place in Alan City, The Belmore Family. However, it was overshadowed by several problems and ended with doing the group draw without the possibility to see it live. At first, the representative of Turori arrived late because his taxi was stuck in a traffic jam, then one ballot with balls representing pot 9 fell on the ground and the balls rolled into all directions. The reporters and representatives from all parts of the world had the pleasure to see prime minister Alan Belmore and the impressively beautiful female assitants crawl on the ground to collect all of the balls. A shameless reporter from the Na~ovi National (well, we know that that is redundant) took a picture of one assitant, who accidentally revealed more than intended. Eventually the group draw continued, but then the representative from Turori appeared. When he entered the stage, loud discussions were heard. Apparently, a translation issue caused the Belmorians to use the wrong number of teams per group. At that time, prime minister Alan Belmore told the reporters that he would need some time for intensive re-planning. When he appeared after half an hour, he released the group draw, but no one knew how groups were determined.

Group 7 consist of:
Rejistania (ranked 1st/I/mje)
The Orange-Blues are seen as favorites. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that they won the last world cup and the one before. Coach SyLy said about the chances: "I guess everyone wants to beat the favorite. It'll be a hard task for us."

Eauz (ranked 12/XII/ke-xi)
The french communists from Eauz share the position of group favorite. It is assumed that Les Bleus finish ahead of the Orange-Blues, at least by the superstitous and the pessimistic rejistanians (that is about 87% of the population).

Esth (ranked 32/XXXII/ly-ke-xi)
The nation of Esth is known for not being known. Quietly and slowly, they advanced in the rankings. They are competing for qualification as well.

Kylaai (ranked 46/XLVI/mji-ke-se)
The nation is a strange one: they seem to be extremely secretive and xenophobic because it is not possible to get any newspaper or to recieve any radio or TV station from there abroad. This team will be a surprise.

The Evil Umpire (ranked 52/LII/de-ke-xi)
The evil teabags are and were a threat. It is assumed that the ASR or fans will prepare a 'surprise' for the home game. They might have a chance to qualify for the world cup.

Adam Island, Hiiraan, Villapange (ranked 150/CL/ri-de-ke)
These nations come out of nowhere and will probably go there after this cup. However, they can defeat favorites and despite having themselves no real chance to qualify, play spoiler for one or several teams.

Hiiraan Drawn in to a tough Gruop, despites worries, #3 Is possiple

- At th drama of the world cup draws, Hiiraan was shooked to its knees after learning that the team was going to go against the favorites and quit frankly the best team ever to play in a football pitch here in NS, Rejestania, Rejestania who is very good is the best team and will without any doubts take #1, but We can still Qualify if we place #2 a or #3, the latter being chance for us, Hiiraan my not be the last team out there but its not the first too too, so the Hiiraan Football Federation has warnd and told the fans and all the T.V spectators to chill down and get emotionally attached to the games, because some we may lose ver bad,

Hiiraan First game is due in couple weeks so, The team is at this moment on very heavy training of stamina and playmaking and by the end of the time, with our sophisticated equitments, Hiiraan is at least going to be very good at some places like the Defending and heavy good playmakers.

Hiiraan being at least a 4th place favorite will very much try the its hardest and likely its best run to get #3, although Esth is very likely to get that spot, Hiiraan has vowed to not just give up the spot and will infact fight to its last man to get it or die trying.

-hiiraan

What is this WC!9 which you speak of? How might I get a chance at playing this game? Are there rules? Is it the same as World Cup 18 ? Just wondering... WC9 already occured. Are you so excited to redo WC9 that you put an "!" mark in front of the WC?

Thank you for your time...

Jeruselem Government News

Three's company for World Cup XIX team

World Cup 19 (XIX) or now known as World Cup !9, is nearly here. Jeruselem have been draw with Group 3 with some familar faces

Top dogs Iansisle and Crystilakere are back to terrorise our team like they did in World Cup XVIII. These teams are the ones to beat but as XVIII proved, even top dogs can be beaten when it counts.

Our friends Maserrat join us as well 7JM. Never underestimate Maserrat but their form is best defined as erratic. The unknowns are lowly ranked Lethislavania and Runaway Moose and respectably ranked Oceaice.

Yes, you are not dreaming. The !9 group for Jeruselem looks like the XVIII which might mean another top 32 appearance for the Crusaders whose ranking jumped to the 20s after XVIII.

Most pundits agree who will fill the top 4 but regard Maserrat as the dark horse and are weary about the unknown Oceaice. Most agree who will fill the two positions although Jeruselem are ranked 24th compared to Crystilakere 19 which makes for interesting competition.

Group 3:
Iansisle 5
Crystilakere 19
Jeruselem 24
Maserrat 47
Oceaice 65
7JM 109
Lethislavania 150
Runaway Moose 150

Draw Puts Maserrat In Group 3

After WC18 gave us an insight into the promising football that Maserrat play, the team go into WC!9 with a seemingly more realistic chance of qualification. Whilst still not ranked in the top three of the group, Maserrat have jumped twenty places in the rankings to 47th, and could be contenders for the third-place spot. There are, of course, seven formidable (or perhaps not so formidable) teams standing in Maserrat's way on the path to glory.

Iansisle
No past history, but their ranking suggests that they are a half-decent team. The Dynamos may not be much of a challenge, but you never know. Everyone in Maserrat still remembers Vilita...Prediction - 1st

Crystilakere
Once again, no past history with Maserrat, but once again, their ranking speaks for itself. Will be very difficult to beat, even on a good day, and the challenege may prove too much for the team. Prediction - 3rd

Jerusalem
Undoubtedly the team Maserrat have faced most in their footballing history. On record the Dynamos have never won this match, but with two more opportunities to do so, there's a first time for everything. Prediciton - 2nd

Oceaice
The only other team in the group with a real chance of qualification, this game will be tricky for Maserrat - it's a game they should expect to win, but may not...not the best of situations to be in. Prediction - 5th

7JM
Know the name but not much else. A relatively new footballing nation, and shouldn't pose much of a threat, although surprises do happen now and again. Shouldn't be underestimated. Prediction - 6th

Lethislavania
Like Maserrat, the future looks bright, but perhaps the moment is a little too soon for this team. Could be one of the best, but must work from the bottom up to get there. Expect a lot from them later. Prediction - 8th

Runaway Moose
Have been here before, and apparently know the ropes. This could give them a slight advantage over the likes of 7JM and Lethislavania, but don't expect wonders just yet. Prediciton - 7th

Karpova has set the team a target of 25 points and fourth place. His target of 15 points for the last campaign was reached with a game to spare, and it seems the coach has set the team up well for their second exploit into the World Cup Qualifiers. Maserrat have been dubbed the 'dark horses' of the group, and could front a major assault on the top three should results go their way. Expect them to finish a little higher up the table this time.

Group 9 Round-Up

The groups for World Cup qualification have been announced and Big Pimento has been drawn into Group 9. The buzz around the land of the Pimentos has been pretty limited, since the entire nation seems to be concentrating on the World Cup of Basketball being hosted locally after the original hosts buggered off and the success the home team has enjoyed so far. However, there is still a soft spot in the hearts of some Big Pimento sports fans for the Futility Kings, so here's a round-up of Group 9.

Bedistan (7)
This is a talented side who has been around the World Cup for a very long time. They're an established powerhouse who will probably overlook us, thinking they'll steamroll right over the Futility Kings. Local oddsmakers seem to be agreeing with the Lions too.

Lovisa (21)
We don't know much about Lovisa, besides the fact that we beat them a Harmony Cup ago. Not much news comes out of Lovisa regarding their team, they must have some other national sport that's far more popular, but they must be good. Otherwise, you don't find yourself with a World Rank of 21.

Snub Nose 38 (29)
They've been moseying around the football world for longer than Bedistan, yet have failed to enjoy the success the Lions have relished in to date. Most Big Pimento supporters will remember Snub Nose 38 best for the tragic big, blue title incident, which killed many residents of that fine nation. Since then, Big Pimento publications have signed a treaty banishing blue from all articles, as well as promising to use a font no larger than size 4 and in bold type. The government of Big Pimento is still actively trying to recruit other nations to sign the treaty to avoid another tragedy.

Raptor Claw (34)
We know nothing at all about these guys, but the 34 rank means that they've evidently no slouches. Maybe they're giant football playing raptors? We all watched Jurassic Park and know how frickin smart those Velociraptors are. If this team is comprised of 11 raptors, we're royally screwed. If not, it might be in the cards for the Pimentos to maybe pull a surprise or two on this secretive nation.

Gaziantep (150)
Another nation we're completely unfamiliar with. Let's hope our broadcasters get to know them before the match to avoid a few embarassing butcherings of this nation's name.

Hammerund (150)
As a common theme in this round-up, we know very little about these guys. That should mean that they're new, up-and-coming, fresh meat and will be easy prey. Expect the Raptors to have a field day with these guys.

Shonar Bangla (150)
Wow, we should really read a few more foreign publications to better inform ourselves. See Hammerund.

So there you have it! The most thorough and comprehensive pre-group analysis you could have expected out this nation. The only thing left is to predict the finishing order in this group and we've left no stone unturned as our analysts have looked at every stat from every angle. First and foremost, we cannot forget the first and only rule of Pimento football, a good Harmony Cup run will equal a terrible qualification run. The Futility Kings were about middle of the pack in the Harmony Cup, so expect them to be about middle of the pack here.


POS NATION
1 Bedistan
2 Snub Nose 38
3 Lovisa
4 Raptor Claw
5 Big Pimento
6 Gaziantep
7 Hammerund*
7 Shonar Bangla**

*We predict their players will get eaten by Raptors
**See Hammerund

Le LIBRE

Les Bleus feeling bleu.

With once again another disappointing early loss in WC 18, Les Bleus have lost more than their reputation. Les Bleus fell from the rank of 4th to the rank of 12th in the world, brining embarrassment to this once amazing team. A few players have been knocked off the team, including: defenders, Ulfston & Thorain and forward Manners. In their place will be defenders: Josef Daintan and Gregorie Boulongeur and forward Pierre Camus. As for Les Bleus as a team, they will be hoping to get back to the powerful team they used to be. The coach was heard commentiong on his team saying: “Sure, I would love to win the next cup, it would put a great boost in our team, but right now, we just have to concentrate on getting the spirit back into this team.” Other people are blaming the curse of Margaret for the problems of Eauz. It has been presumed that Margaret doesn’t like extreme socialist countries, and thus Eauz after winning 2 cups is being cursed for it.

As for WC19 or as one of the host nations put it “WC !9”, Les Bleus were drawn into Group 7. Below is the whole group:


Group 7:
Rejistania (1)
Eauz (12)
Esth (32)
Kylaai (46)
The Evil Umpire (52)
Adam Island (150)
Hiiraan (150)
Villapange (150)


As one can see, Rejistania and Eauz got grouped into the same group, which almost seems impossible, seeing as both teams are big rivals, and have dominated in recent history of the cup. It is almost like seeing France and Brazil in the qualifying round of a WC.

Rejistania : As far as Les Bleus history goes, and well we don’t remember too much, Les Bleus and Rejistania have never met in a group stages match in qualifying or first stage of a WC. Les Bleus have had success and failure in the past against Rejistania. Being rivals, the matches these 2 teams play will be watched around the world. Les Bleus though shouldn’t assume anything against this team, as they seem to be a strong juggernaut, winning back to back WC’s. Predictions: 1st in Group 7

Esth : Esth is still a vague team in the minds of Eauz and their fans. The last time Les Bleus remember playing this team was in WC 18, as Les Bleus beat them 3 – 1. This teem though seems to have some success in its early WC history, and are ranked 32nd. This team could prove to be a surprise team of the group if it can get hot. Look for them to be a challenge for both Eauz and Rejistania. Predictions: 3rd in group 7

Kylaai : Another team Les Bleus have a vague memory of, actually we don’t remember their team ever. Being ranked 46th though, Les Bleus should watch this team, as they know as well that Eauz was once a team ranked in this area, and had some success. This team will be a surprise, but look for them not to challenge much. Predictions: 5th in Group 7.

The Evil Umpire : TEU and Eauz have had a history, and Eauz has dominated it. The last time Les Bleus visited TEU, Eauz beat them, and prevented a massacre of the Eauz team. They will though challenge for the 3rd slot in the cup, as this paper will predict a 4th place finish for this team.

Adam Island, Hiiraan & Villapange : These 3 teams have decided to dip their feet in the WC ocean. For the most part, they will probably have no real chance of qualifying in the Cup, seeing as it is their first try, but they can always play spoilers against the Favourites of Group 7.

As one can see from this cup, most of the Teams are unknown to Les Bleus, and the ones known, Les Bleus have had some success against them. Despite what Rejistanian citizens and papers say though, Les Bleus are not going to finish 1st in this group, as long as Rejistania is in it. Les Bleus will, unless there is a surprise and one of Les Bleus players becomes a godmod, Les Bleus will be floating around the 2nd or 3rd place position.


Eauz (3-4-3)
-----------------------------------------
| 3 |
| Rousoi |
| |
| 41 |
| 13 Boulongeur 9 |
| Daintan Devereux |
| |
| 11 |
| 17 Godenot 20 |
| Camus D'Aubigne |
| 12 |
| Vasser |
| 9 11 |
| Rousseau 10 Theodoric |
| Alia |
| |
-----------------------------------------

Hiiraan a wide out spoiler?
Hiiraan mostly puts and considered as a spoiler but could this title ruin someone day

Hiiraan is now being overtly considered a spoiler, A tag the coach told some today will regret at the end of this cup, Hiiraan seeking no embarrassment said it was fully capable of taking care of the third spot regardless of what other teams think said the coach abruptly.

In a his opinion the coach took disgrace to be named a spoiler and wished he would have had may be little given chance to make his team better, the coach was also given all the necessary amount of money needed to make the team more better this year, in fact not to confuse anything the economical studies minister gave the coach a blank check and in a celebration told him, LETS GET ROLLING HERE, the team is marked for success this year as they roll through the belmorian country side

Hiiraan also has taken out a press conference designed to introduce its referees to the world cup, the 2 submitted referees are expected to be confirmed and they will participate this year in the world cup and help this year become success once more, Hiiraan is also making changes in its club level attitude as they create the Hiiraan Cup for teams well around hiiraan and hiiraan.

Hiiraan

Scuttlebutt - Evening Edition

Apologies and Correction - WC XIX Qualifiers, Group 9
Sten Remington Grey

Earlier today (in the sports pages of this mornings Scuttlebutt) the Minister of Statistics, Other Totally Useless Information, and Band Aids published the names of the sides of the World Cup XIX Qualifying Group 9, into which the National Side of the Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38, the Hooligans, have been drawn. Unfortunatley the Hooligans had only one representative at the draw - the aging Minister of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages - virtually everyone else in Snub Nose 38 having a previous commitment. Rumor has it that everyone else attended the CCCLXXVIth Annual National Picnic, which (again, due to his advanced age) the Minister completely forgot. It seems he misplaced his invitation, and...well, anyway, he did not go to the Annual National Picnic, and instead attended the Qualifying Group Draw for World Cup XIX.

And forgot to bring his hearing aid.

Resulting in the following list of the Group appearing in this mornings edition of Scuttlebutt:


Pos Nation
1 Bed for Stan
2 Snub Nose 38
3 Love Pizza
4 Raptor Paw
5 Medium Pimento
6 Giantstep
7 Cumberbund
7 Sonar Ganglia


The Editor apologizes for this error, and presents below the corrected list.


Pos Nation
1 Bedistan
2 Snub Nose 38
3 Lovisa
4 Raptor Claw
5 Big Pimento
6 Gaziantep
7 Hammerund
7 Shonar Bangla

Once again, we apologize - no insult was intended. It seems the editor slept in this morning, and the paper hit the newstands before she had a chance to check the sports pages.

The Minister of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcholic Beverages would also apologize, we are sure, if we could find his hearing aid, jam it in his ear, and make him understand what a colossal ass he's made of himself...again.

Weeks before the team was assembled, the right midfielder for the Piquantrax Vinyl Monkeys (the team we have sent, the national team) began following teh ancient art of Thai Chao Fu, otherwise known as the belief that dogs are gods and rice is only meant for nasal inhalation. The religion's main holidays are coming soon, and some dates seem to be on the same day as games.
However for a large sum he has temporarily given up the religion for the sake of football.

UMMM anybody else watcht eh Man U matchs gainst Lyons today?

Weeks before the team was assembled, the right midfielder for the Piquantrax Vinyl Monkeys (the team we have sent, the national team) began following teh ancient art of Thai Chao Fu, otherwise known as the belief that dogs are gods and rice is only meant for nasal inhalation. The religion's main holidays are coming soon, and some dates seem to be on the same day as games.
However for a large sum he has temporarily given up the religion for the sake of football.

UMMM anybody else watcht eh Man U matchs gainst Lyons today?*in the reference materials room of the library at the academy of science, in sten, we come upon an oddly familiar figure. she is dressed in burgundy robes and a midnight blue hooded cape, carrying a leather pouch with an eagle feather tied to it by a silver thread. there is a seriously damaged rubber chicken hanging from her belt. we rack our brains, but can't seem to remember her name. melissa somebody-or-other? megan something? maggie majig?*

*we notice the title of one book open on the shelf in front of her - "Thai Chao Fu for Dummies". looking thoughtful, she closes the book in her hands - "Thai Chao Fu, or "Roast Chicken Thighs" in the original Old Piquantraxi" - and, mumbling something that sounds like, "get him off the pitch somehow" gently slides another tome - "To Thai or Not To Thai" - off the shelf, and begins to peruse it.*

*...margaret...er...we think it best to be somewhere - anywhere - else. we go there immediately.*

The Tribune Tribune
Serving Druid Tribune and the surrounding area

RAINBOWS FACE TOUGH TASK TO REPEAT DEBUT
By Trefor Blackmore

After being the surprise package of their first World Cup tournament, the Druida rainbows know a lot more will be expected of them this time around. It's going to be a tough group for them to get out of, too.

The rainbows will be coming up against Squornshelous, Starblaydia and Krytenia in their group. This time, though, they will have to do it without the Zucchini exiles they rescued, and without the Halfassed exiles they planned to give citizenship to. So a team that is 100% Druidan will be taking to the field. However, the full details of who exactly will be in the squad won't be announced until a few days before the first qualifyer.

Speaking of the two Zucchinis given Druidan citizenship after the collapse of their homeland, rumours have been rife across Druida since the last World Cup that the pair were not actually who the Druidan government claimed them to be, Urk and Thunk. The pair were the best two players in the Druidan team, but many people still think that they were imposters. If the Druidan government actually admit to the pair being imposters that have never played for Giant Zucchini in their lives, then it is thought that they might still be able to play for Druida. However, if the stubborn "It was definately them!" route is taken, then there seems no way in which the pair can stay in the country.

Of course, Squornshelous, Starblaydia and Krytenia will all be battling hard with Druida for a qualifying spot, but what of the rest of the group. We can't forget about them. There's those Vorpal Bunnies, who were beaten twice last time by NEWI Cefn Druids, so if they can beat them, we should too, hopefully. I'm not quite sure how Dead Rockstars will play, what with them being dead and all. Are they ghosts? Zombified? Will they be bringing their instruments? I hope so, that'd be one hell of a good night. Laxmarak...isn't that the stuff I use when I'm constapated? Hum, and lastly Remich, who I've never heard of, but at least sound like a nation, and will probably be up for a game.

So there you have it. After the last campaign a lot is expected, now it is down to the players to deliver. Or, if he has any more plans, the president.

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST

Revised Schedule

Krytenia have revealed the stadia for their WCXIX campaign.

The full schedule:

v Remich (Downhead Park, Kallia)
v Dead Rockstars (Mellion Lane, Davisham)
v Vorpal Bunnies (Sixways Stadium, Avidia)
@ Laxmarak
@ Squornshelous
@ Starblaydia
v Druida (City Park, Avidia)
@ Remich
@ Dead Rockstars
@ Vorpal Bunnies
v Laxmarak (Buryfield, Stanton)
v Squornshelous (Davis Memorial Stadium, Everton City)
v Starblaydia (Oxley Park, Everton City)
@ Druida

Starblaydia Happy and Hopeful
Relaxed mood in Camp reduces pressure for the Team

Training a week before the Qualifying Campaign for World Cup 19 kicks off, Starblaydia are having a good time as they prepare for the Dead Rockstars...

Tetsuo Naoki, wearing a purple bib, receives a neat pass-to-feet from team-mate Roberto Di Bradini and, with a sharp turn, breaks away from the player covering him and fires a sweet shot that ripples the net.

Goalie Marcus Cragg, in a luminous yellow bib, however, is still pretending to try and save the ball. His arm extends at a jaw-droppingly slow speed, fingers flexing, while moving to the side. He makes a big effort for a slow-motion roll, ending up on his back. Guylain N'Dumbu-Nsungu, the Manager, blows his whistle in frustration.

'What the hell was that, Cragg?' he yells

'Sorry, Coach,' replied Markus, 'I was playing at the wrong speed.'

The training ground erupted into laughter, mindful that Dead Rockstar's national manager and part-time DJ John Peel was often playing his vinyl records at the wrong speed. N'Dumbu-Nsungu, on the other hand, was not an avid radio-listener.

'I wish you'd all take this bloody match seriously!' yelled the manager again, losing his rag somewhat, 'I've had all sorts of crap from you to deal with this week:

'Robb's been Imagining there was no offisde,

'Tetsuo's always celebrating in excess,

'and Nick's pretending to be some sort of anti-christ-anarchist, and that's not the half of it! What is going on with you fools?'

'We're just inspired, is all, Coach' said Jean-Pierre Durand, the Captain.

'You're not inspired to play good-bloody-football, are you?' Guylain looked like he was about to explode, 'You all sucksorz!'

With that, he flung his whistle and clip-board down in frustration, spun on his heels and stomped off the training pitch. The players were attempting to be serious but the thought of the puns they could reap playing the Dead Rockstars was just too much. They'd already been quoting as many song titles as they could, slipping them into interviews. Simeone Di Bradini had actually managed the entire Coldplay album 'A Rush of Blood to the Head'. In just one interview. In track order. An impressive feat by anyone's standards, but they wondered if the network would show the whole thing.

It was Simeone, in fact, who picked up the coach's equipment.

'Right, seven-a-side, like before, purples and yellows. Giannis, you're in for me on the yellow team. I want space and movement, guys. Run your asses off. Let's go.'


Group 1:
Team Rank
Squornshelous 9
Starblaydia 14
Krytenia 31
Druida 36
Vorpal Bunnies 74
Dead Rockstars 150
Laxmarak 150
Remich 150

My Full list of results since World cup 5 (My eneterance date).

World Cup 5
Qualification
Group 3
Ariddia 2 The Belmore Family 2
Bedistan 1 The Belmore Family 2
Deskreich 1 The Belmore Family 1
Gesamtkuntswerk 2 The Belmore Family 1 (My first ever loss, but I was still 4th with an equal goal difference.)
Svecia 3 The Belmore Family 1(Uh-oh 2 losses in a row)
Nova Empyrea 4 The Belmore Family 1(Ouch down to 5th. But this as to be my last loss for a long time!)
Raidion 2 The Belmore Family 3
Won: 2
Lost: 3
Drawn: 2
For:11
Against: 15
Group 3 looked like this


Group 3 P W D L F A GD Pts
Svecia 7 6 0 1 23 8 +15 18
Gesamtkuntswerk 7 5 1 1 13 10 +3 16
Ariddia 7 4 2 1 17 10 +7 14
Bedistan 7 2 3 2 10 10 0 9
The Belmore Family 7 2 2 3 11 15 -4 8
Nova Empyrea 7 1 3 3 9 13 -4 5
Deskreich 7 0 3 4 8 17 -9 3
Raidion 7 0 2 6 9 18 -9 2



World Cup 6(I'm going to like this one)
Qualification
The Belmore Family 4 Futililia 2
Pure Evil 1 The Belmore Family 4
Nevershadow 1 The Belmore Family 3 (3 out of 3)
The Belmore Family 2 VA Industrialized 1
Tha Machine 0 The Belmore Family 4 (5 out of 5...rumours of bribery begin for me and Quohog)
The Belmore Family 1 Lunatic Goofballs 0
Communation 1 The Belmore Family 2
The Belmore Family 4 Futililia 0 (8 out of 8)
Pure Evil 2 The Belmore Family 3(The big complainer loses to me twice)
Nevershadow 2 The Belmore Family 1(Nooooooo... a loss. But I didn't care, I was through)

"BELMORE FAMILY LOSE!"

the lowly Nevershadow have handed TBF their first loss of the campaign with a 2-1 defeat of the corrupted rastards

Tha Machine 2 The Belmore Family 2
The Belmore Family 1 Lunatic Goofballs 2 (Ouch another loss)
Communation 1 The Belmore Family 3(A win to round off an excellent qualifcation)
The Belmore Family 3 VA Industrialized 1 (Ahhh... much better)
Group 4 looked like this

Group 4 P W D L F A GD Pts
The Belmore Family (47) 14 11 1 2 37 16 +21 34
Lunatic Goofballs (11) 14 9 1 4 29 16 +13 28
Nevershadow 14 6 3 5 24 25 -1 21
Pure Evil (22) 14 6 2 6 25 23 +2 20
Futililia 14 5 2 7 23 30 -7 17
VA Industrialized 14 4 3 7 21 30 -9 15
Communation 14 4 2 8 27 34 -7 14
Tha Machine 14 2 4 8 21 33 -12 10


Top 10 qualifiers

Team Name G W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Quohog (25) 14 12 0 2 41 14 +27 36
2 The Belmore Family (47) 14 11 1 2 37 16 +21 34
3 Oglethorpia (13) 14 10 4 0 35 14 +21 34
4 One Red Dot (30) 14 9 4 1 27 12 +15 31
5 Copiosa Scotia (50) 14 10 1 3 34 21 +13 31
6 Halfassedstates (49) 14 9 3 2 33 14 +19 30
7 Malundar 14 9 3 2 32 19 +13 30
8 Runaway Moose (12) 14 9 2 3 22 12 +10 29
9 Audioslavia (40) 14 8 4 2 34 19 +15 28
10 Lunatic Goofballs (11) 14 9 1 4 29 16 +13 28

1st Round
Group B
Snub Nose 38 2 The Belmore Family 1 (Not a good start)
Total and Utter Insanity 2 The Belmore Family 1 (Getting Worse)
The Belmore Family 2 - Malundar 2(Dreadful)

Name P W D L F A GD Pts
Total N Utter Insanity 3 3 0 0 7 3 +4 9
Snub Nose 38 3 2 0 1 6 6 0 6
Malundar 3 0 1 2 6 8 -2 1
The Belmore Family 3 0 1 2 5 7 -2 1

Total 17
Wins 11
Losses 3
Draws 3
For:42
Agianst:23

World Cup 7
Qualification
Group 10
The Belmore Family 0 Quohog 3 (Not a good start)
Dyelli Beybi 2 The Belmore Family 3 (Good)
New-Persia 1 The Belmore Family 2
The Belmore Family 6 The Weegies 1
The Belmore Family 3 Fart wars 0
Quohog 2 The Belmore Family 1 (DOH!)
The Weegies 1-3 The Belmore Family
Fart wars 2 The Belmore Family 1
The Belmore Family 4 Dyelli Beybi 0

Won 7
Drawn 0
Lost 3

Group 10 looked like this
Group 10 P W D L F A GD Pts
Quohog 10 100 0 35 2 33 30
The Belmore Family 10 7 0 3 28 13 15 21
Dyelli Beybi 10 4 0 6 14 17 -3 12
The Weegies 10 2 2 6 13 26 -13 8
New-Persia 10 2 2 6 11 26 -15 8
Fart wars 10 2 2 6 10 27 -17 8

1st Round
Lemmitania 3 The Belmore Family 4(YAHOO, I've a glorius victory)
Svecia 3 The Belmore Family 0(Ouch, all I need, however is a win against Giant Zucchini to go through)
The Belmore Family 4 Giant Zucchini 3 (Yes, my first trip to the second round)
Team P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Svecia 3 2 0 1 8 3 +5 6
The Belmore Family3 2 0 1 8 9 -1 6
Lemmitania 3 1 0 2 7 7 0 3
Giant Zucchini 3 1 0 2 6 8 -2 3

2nd Round
Halfassedstates 2 The Belmore Family 1(There goes my best cup run ever)

Total
Won 9
Drawn 0
Lost 4
For:37
Against:23

World Cup 8
Qualification
Group 7
The Belmore Family 1 Zinkoland 1 (Hmm.... not looking to good)
Jadonopolos 1 The Belmore Family 2
The Belmore Family 0 Keyshona 0 (still, no loss)
Jacktazea 0 The Belmore Family 2
The Belmore Family 2 Tanah Burung 2
Zinkoland 0 The Belmore Family 0
The Belmore Family 1 Jadonopolos 0 (Wow, this is great, 7 matches without a loss)
Keyshona 1 The Belmore Family 3(8 now)
The Belmore Family 2 Jacktazea 1 (9 matches without a loss, can I have a perfect qualifing)
Tanah Burung 1 The Belmore Family 1(Yes, 10 matches without a loss)

Won 5
Drawn 5
Lost 0

After 10 matches, this is what the table looked like.
Group 7 P W D L F A GD Pts
The Belmore Family (15) 10 5 5 0 15 8 +7 20
Jacktazea (50) 10 5 2 3 19 14 +5 17
Tanah Burung (27) 10 4 4 2 18 12 +6 16
Keyshona 10 4 2 4 17 20 -3 14
Jadonopolos 10 2 2 6 15 23 -8 8
Zinkoland 10 1 3 6 12 19 -7 6

1st Round
Group H
Bullonien 2 The Belmore Family 2(Now 11 matches)
Halfassedstates 1 The Belmore Family 1 (12 and I need a win to go through)
The Belmore Family 3 Audioslavia 2 (13 matches without a loss)

Table after the 1st Round
Group H P W D L F A GD Pts
The Belmore Family (15) 3 1 2 0 6 5 +1 5
Halfassedstates (8) 3 1 2 0 4 3 +1 5
Audioslavia (13) 3 1 0 2 6 6 0 3
Bullonien (65) 3 0 2 1 4 6 -2 2

2nd Round
Liverpool England 1 The Belmore Family 0 (DOH, my first loss in 14 matches and the first time I have not improved the place where I have been kicked out.)

Total 14
Won 6
Drawn 7
Lost 1
For:21
Against:14

World Cup 9
Qualification
Group 1
One Red Dot 0 0 The Belmore Family
Kaze Progressa 2 0 The Belmore Family
The Belmore Family 1 3 Liverpool England (Ouch, 2 losses)
The Belmore Family 2 0 Soviet Haaregard
Zeronia 0 2 The Belmore Family
The Belmore Family 1 0 God Squad
Kegarna 0 3 The Belmore Family (Much better now, 4 wins on the trot)
The Belmore Family 2 2 One Red Dot
The Belmore Family 0 0 Kaze Progressa
Liverpool England 1 2 The Belmore Family (Finally revenge)
Soviet Haaregard 0 2 The Belmore Family (Despite the 2-0 win things aren’t looking to good at this point)
Group 1 P W D L GF GA GD Pts E
Liverpool England (1) 11 9 1 1 23 8 15 28
One Red Dot (29) 11 7 3 1 18 8 10 24
Kaze Progressa (59) 11 7 2 2 18 10 8 23
The Belmore Family (13) 11 6 3 2 15 8 7 21
Soviet Haaregrad 11 3 1 7 6 15 -9 10 X
Kegarna 11 2 2 7 7 19 -12 8 X
God Squad (42) 11 2 1 8 9 18 -9 7 X
Zeronia (79) 11 1 1 9 6 16 -10 4 X
We needed 3 more points than Kaze Progressa or 4 more points than ORD. The situation was ight. But luck was on our hands. The last 3 games for ORD, LE and KP were all against each other and Soviet Haargrad. We had much easier matches.

The Belmore Family 3 1 Zeronia
God Squad 1 3 The Belmore Family (Great news for us, a draw would put us through)
The Belmore Family 3 1 Kegarna(We’d done it, we were going to Ravenspire & Europa Britannia)
Group 1 looked like this
Group 1 P W D L GF GA GD Pts E
Liverpool England (1) 14 11 1 2 28 10 18 34
The Belmore Family (13) 14 9 3 2 24 11 13 30
Kaze Progressa (59) 14 9 2 3 21 13 8 29
One Red Dot (29) 14 8 4 2 22 13 9 28 X
God Squad (42) 14 3 2 9 14 24 -10 11 X
Soviet Haaregrad 14 3 2 9 8 19 -11 11 X
Zeronia (79) 14 2 2 10 11 21 -10 8 X
Kegarna 14 2 2 10 11 28 -17 8 X
Due to the quality of group 1, despite beng second in our group, we still managed 4th best qualifying record.

1st Round
The Belmore Family 2 1 Audioslavia
The Belmore Family 1 0 Nikea
Oglethorpia 1 0 The Belmore Family

Group E looked like this

Oglethorpia (10) 3 2 1 0 5 1 4 7
The Belmore Family (13) 3 2 0 1 3 2 1 6
Audioslavia (18) 3 1 1 1 3 3 0 4
Nikea (44) 3 0 0 3 0 5 -5 0

Second Round
Squornshelous 1 3 The Belmore Family(Our first ever time past the second round)

Quarter Finals
Bedistan 4 0 The Belmore Family (My best ever run, but worst ever loss)

Total: 19
Won: 12
Drawn:3
Lost:4
For:30
Against:18

World Cup 10
Qualification
Group 4
Gesamtkuntswerk 1 The Belmore Family 3
The Belmore Family 0 Timway 1 (Nooooooooo…)
Nadaskor 0 The Belmore Family 3 (Yey! Back to winning ways)
The Belmore Family 4 Great Boogie 0 (7 goals in 2 matches!)
The most holy Kesler 0 The Belmore Family 0 (7 goals in 3 matches...)
The Belmore Family 5 Monotonous Monarchy 0 (12 goals in 4 matches)
CallMeBernard 2 The Belmore Family 1 (Doh!)
The Belmore Family 2 Antaeus Rising 1 (Hehe, almost as good as good as beating TnUI himself)
The Belmore Family 1 Gesamtkuntswerk 1
Timway 1 The Belmore Family 4 (Never beat me again Timway, OK!)
The Belmore Family 1 Nadaskor 0
Great Boogie 2 The Belmore Family 3 (5 matches without a loss)
The Belmore Family 1 The most holy Kesler 1(What is it with this guy?)
Monotonous Monarchy 0 The Belmore Family 0 (5-0 to 0-0 doh!)
The Belmore Family 2 CallMeBernard 1
Antaeus Rising 3 The Belmore Family 2 (Noooooo)
Wins: 9
Draws: 4
Lost: 3
For:32
Against:14
1st Round
Group G
Europa Brittania 1 The Belmore Family 2 (Wow, victorius over ex-champs)
The Belmore Family 2 NASTIC (2) 0 (Through)
The Belmore Family 0 Oddslavo 1 (doh!)
2nd Round
The Belmore Family 2 Ravenspire 1 (*Does a little dance*)
Quarter Finals
The Belmore Family 0 Lemmitania 1 (So, there it ends. In the quarter finals again)
Wins: 12
Draws:4
Lost:5
For:38
Against:18

World Cup 11

Qualification
Group 12
The Belmore Family 2 Ptolomy 0
Cermania 0 The Belmore Family 0
God Squad 0 The Belmore Family 2
Vozvyshennost 0 The Belmore Family 2
The Belmore Family 1 Kerla 0
Pavesia 0 The Belmore Family 1
The Belmore Family 2 Blood Devourers 0
Ptolomy 1 The Belmore Family 3
The Belmore Family 3 Cermania 0
The Belmore Family 0 God Squad 1
The Belmore Family 0 Vozvyshennost 1
Kerla 1 The Belmore Family 3
The Belmore Family 0 Pavesia 1
Blood Devourers 1 The Belmore Family 2
Won: 10
Drawn: 1
Lost: 3
Goals For: 21
Goals Away: 6


1st Round
Group C
Snub Nose 38 2 The Belmore Family 0
The Belmore Family 4 Kaze Progressa 1
The Belmore Family 1 East Spaam 1

2nd Round
Aquilla 0 The Belmore Family 3

Quarter Finals
The Belmore Family 0 Warnocks Wizards 1

World Cup 12

Qualification
Group 6
The Belmore Family 3 Antaeus Rising 0
Lovisa 2 The Belmore Family 0
The Belmore Family 2 Garrard 1
Stonedheads 0 The Belmore Family 5
The Belmore Family 1 Liverpool England 0
The Belmore Family 3 Zeronia 0
Alex The Tall 0 The Belmore Family 3
Antaeus Rising 1 The Belmore Family 3
The Belmore Family 3 Lovisa 0
Garrard 1 The Belmore Family 0
The Belmore Family 1 Stonedheads 1
Liverpool England 1 The Belmore Family 1
Zeronia 1 The Belmore Family 2
The Belmore Family 1 Alex The Tall 0

1st Round
Group E
The Belmore Family 1 Timway 1
The Belmore Family 1 Liverpool England 1
The Belmore Family 1 Total n Utter Insanity 2

Leaving TBF on the bottom of a table looking like this:
W D L GF GA GD PTS
Total n Utter Insanity 1 2 0 2 1 1 5
Liverpool England 0 3 0 2 2 0 3
Timway 0 3 0 2 2 0 3
The Belmore Family 0 2 1 3 4 -1 2

World Cup 13

Qualification
Group 5
Warnocks Wizards 1 The Belmore Family 0
The Belmore Family 1 Compound Interest 0
Lovebug 3 The Belmore Family 0 (TBF forfeited match)
The Belmore Family 1 Aserjin 0
Vilita 0 The Belmore Family 1
The Belmore Family 2 The Lowland Clans 0
Dance 2 Revolution 0 The Belmore Family 0
The Belmore Family 1 Snub Nose 38 1
Lovisa 0 The Belmore Family 0
The Belmore Family 0 Warnocks Wizards 2
Compound Interest 0 The Belmore Family 1
The Belmore Family 3 Lovebug 0
Aserjin 0 The Belmore Family 3
The Belmore Family 2 Vilita 0
The Lowland Clans 0 The Belmore Family 1
The Belmore Family 1 Dance 2 Revolution 0
Snub Nose 38 1 The Belmore Family 1
The Belmore Family 1 Lovisa 0

The Final Table looked like this:
Q Snub Nose 38 43 13 4 1 33: 7 26
Q The Belmore Family 34 11 4 3 19: 8 11
Q The Lowland Clans 30 10 0 8 28:12 16
4. Dance 2 Revolution 30 8 6 4 16: 9 7
5. Lovisa 24 7 3 8 16:16 0
6. Lovebug 14 4 2 12 14:31 -17
7. Aserjin 12 2 6 10 6:25 -19
8. Compound Interest 12 3 3 12 8:29 -21
9. Vilita 11 3 2 13 8:26 -18
10. Warnocks Wizards -40 12 4 2 20: 5 15
The Belmore Family was deducted 3 points
Warnocks Wizards was deducted 80 points for severe violation of FIFA rules (ceasing to exists)

First Round
Group E
The Belmore Family 2 Runaway Moose 0
The Belmore Family 1 Commerce Heights 1
The Eagles Nest 1 The Belmore Family 1

The final group looked like this:
Group E
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. The Eagles Nest 7 2 1 0 5: 2 3
2. The Belmore Family 5 1 2 0 4: 2 2
3. Commerce Heights 4 1 1 1 4: 3 1
4. Runaway Moose 0 0 0 3 0: 6 -6

TBF whooped CH’s ass

Second Round
Eauz 2-0 The Belmore Family

World Cup 14

Qualification
Group 8
The Belmore Family 3 - 1 Dadostan
Spaam 1 - 0 The Belmore Family (My first match against my biggest rival did not come out as hoped)
The Belmore Family 2 - 3 Carpet
The Belmore Family 2 - 1 Dance2Revolution (:D)
Alex The Tall 2 - 3 The Belmore Family
The Belmore Family 2 - 1 Lovebug
Raptor Claw 0 - 2 The Belmore Family
The Belmore Family 2 - 3 Tingitana
ElephantandCastle 2 - 3 The Belmore Family
Dadostan 1 - 4 The Belmore Family
The Belmore Family 2 - 2 Spaam (well, at least it’s a draw)
Carpet 0 - 1 The Belmore Family
Dance2Revolution 2 - 0 The Belmore Family
The Belmore Family 2 - 1 Alex The Tall
Lovebug 0 - 1 The Belmore Family
The Belmore Family 1 - 1 Raptor Claw
Tingitana 3 - 2 The Belmore Family (We knew that: we would qualify if we won OR if we drew and neither Tingitana nor Lovebug won OR if we lose and Tingitana lose and Lovebug didn't win.
The Belmore Family 1 - 1 ElephantandCastle (But: Dance2Revolution 3 - 1 Tingitana and Carpet 2 - 3 Lovebug so for the first time since World Cup 5, The Belmore Family failed to qualify for a World Cup.)

Table - Group 8
Spaam 18 11 6 1 31-11 39 Q
Dance 2 Revolution 18 12 3 3 31-17 39 Q
Lovebug 18 10 3 5 31-17 33 Q
The Belmore Family 18 10 3 5 33-25 33
Tingitana 18 9 5 4 27-24 32
Alex The Tall 18 5 4 9 25-27 19
Raptor Claw 18 3 9 6 21-26 18
Carpet 18 5 3 10 27-35 18
ElephantandCastle 18 3 3 12 20-34 12
Dadostan 18 1 3 14 16-46 6

Cup of Harmony First Round (Hosted By The Belmore Family and Vilita)
Group 1
Magnus Valerius 1-1 The Belmore Family
The Belmore Family 1 - 1 Turnia
The Belmore Family 3-0 Tingitana (Things were looking ok…)
Squornshelous 2-0 The Belmore Family (…..or maybe not.)
The Belmore Family 1-2 The Weegies (Ouch, another loss!)

Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts
Q Squornshelous 5 4 1 0 10 2 8 13
Q The Weegies 5 3 1 1 7 5 2 10
Q The Belmore Family 5 1 2 2 6 6 0 5
Q Turnia 5 1 2 2 5 7 -2 5
-----------------------------------------------
5 Magnus Valerius 5 0 4 1 4 5 -1 4
6 Tingintia 5 0 2 3 2 9 -7 2

Cup of Harmony Quarter Finals
The Belmore Family 3-1 Newi Cefn Druids

Cup of Harmony Semi Finals
The Belmore Family 0-2 Jeruselem

Cup of Harmony 3rd Place Play Off
The Belmore Family 2-0 Melmond (Well, atleast we got 3rd!)

World Cup 15
Qualification
Group 9
The Belmore Family 1 Rukbat al Rami 0
KT MPLG 0 The Belmore Family 5 (satisfying start)
The Belmore Family 3 Kingsford 3
Cockbill Street 2 The Belmore Family 1
The Belmore Family 2 Tasty Toast 0
The Belmore Family 4 Lovisa 2
Magnus Valerius 1 The Belmore Family 2
The Belmore Family 2 Shang-ti 0
Resistencia 0 The Belmore Family 0
Rukbat al Rami 1 The Belmore Family 1
The Belmore Family 3 KT MPLG 0
Kingsford 2 The Belmore Family 0 (ouchy!)
The Belmore Family 0 Cockbill Street 0
Tasty Toast 0 The Belmore Family 0
Lovisa 1 The Belmore Family 1
The Belmore Family 0 Magnus Valerius 2
Shang-ti 1 The Belmore Family 2
The table stood:
Group 9
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
Q Kingsford 17 10 5 2 32 15 17 35 38
2 The Belmore Family 17 8 6 3 27 15 12 30 33
3 Cockbill Street 17 7 9 1 26 15 11 30 33
4 Lovisa 17 8 6 3 30 20 10 30 33
Again it would go down to the last day.

The Belmore Family 2 Resistencia 0 We qualified!

Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts

Q Kingsford 18 11 5 2 35 15 20 38
Q The Belmore Family 18 9 6 3 29 15 14 33
3 =Lovisa 18 9 6 3 32 20 12 33
Q =Cockbill Street 18 8 9 1 28 16 12 33
5 Magnus Valerius 18 9 3 6 29 24 5 30
6 Shang-ti 18 5 5 8 23 26 -3 20
7 Resistencia 18 4 4 10 21 34 -13 16
8 Rekbat al Rami 18 4 3 11 22 31 -9 15
9 Tasty Toast 18 3 6 9 16 27 -11 15
10 KT MPLG 18 4 1 13 15 42 -27 13

Good lord, ok. We had a 1-1-0 record against Lovisa, and a 0-1-1 record against CS, but our GD wass higher than both Lovisa, and CS, so we went through.

First Round
The Eagle's Nest 2 The Belmore Family 1
The Belmore Family 2 NASTIC 2 2
The Belmore Family 2 Vilitia 1 (And with that we actually got into the second round)

Group A
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts
1 The Eagles Nest 3 2 1 0 6 2 4 7
2 The Belmore Family 3 1 1 1 5 5 0 4
3 NASTIC 2 3 0 3 0 4 4 0 3
4 Vilita 3 0 1 2 2 6 -4 1

Second Round
Bedistan 2 The Belmore Family 1(Out, but we kept our pride)


World Cup 16
Qualification
Group 10
Ruslana 0 The Belmore Family 5 (Nice Start :D)
The Belmore Family 1 Total n Utter Insanity 0 (w00t, suck on that you dumb Insinians!)
West Pacific 0 The Belmore Family 2 (3 wins in a row, going good)
The Belmore Family 1 Ravenspire 3 (OK, not so great.)
Turnia 0 The Belmore Family 1 (Back to normality)
The Belmore Family 2 Ruslana 0 (Our 200th Match)
Total n Utter Insanity 2 The Belmore Family 1 (Now the heat was on, I needed good results in my next matches to stand a chance)
The Belmore Family 2 West Pacific 1
Ravenspire 2 The Belmore Family 1(This loss meant things were tight at the top, but I still has a 2 point lead)
The Belmore Family 0 Turnia 1(We were pipped at the post, just losing out going into 4th.)
Region 10 Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Total n Utter Insanity 24 8 0 1 18: 4 14
2. Turnia 19 6 1 3 14: 6 8
3. Ravenspire 19 6 1 3 17:10 7
4. The Belmore Family 18 6 0 4 16: 9 7
5. West Pacific 4 1 1 8 5:23 -18
6. Ruslana 1 0 1 8 4:22 -18

Cup of Harmony First Round
Halfassedstates 0 The Belmore Family 0
The Belmore Family 1 Sarzonia 1
The Belmore Family 2 The Gulf States 0 (A win would finalize Qualification)
Kerla 1 The Belmore Family 5 (Well, that’s what we needed!)
The Belmore Family 4 2 2 0 8-2 8
Sarzonia 4 2 1 1 5-5 7
The Gulf States 4 2 0 2 10-6 6
Halfassedstates 4 1 2 1 3-4 5
Kerla 4 0 1 3 4-13 1

Cup of Harmony Quarter Finals
The Belmore Family2 Magnus Valerius0 (Good into the semis…..)

Cup of Harmony Semi Finals
Crystilakere1 The Belmore Family2(W00t, into the final!!!!)

Cup of Harmony Final
The Belmore Family2 Melmond2 [TBF win 2-1 on penalties] (w00t, Champions at something!)

World Cup 17
Qualification
Group 6
The Belmore Family [2] Omniworld [0]
Mikele [1] The Belmore Family [2]
The Belmore Family [3] Raptor Claw [1]
Dead Man [1] The Belmore Family [2] (4 wins in a row, going good)
The Belmore Family [0] Crystilakere [3] (Spoke too soon)
The Belmore Family [1] Europa Brittania [1]
Tanah Burung [2] The Belmore Family [1]
Omniworld [1] The Belmore Family [1]
The Belmore Family [3] Mikele [0]
Raptor Claw [1] The Belmore Family [0]
The Belmore Family [2] Dead Man [2]
Crystilakere [2] The Belmore Family [0]
Europa Brittania [2] The Belmore Family [2]
The Belmore Family [2] Tanah Burung [2] (Doh, we were out.)
---Group 6----
[1] Crystilakere 14 10 1 3 32-13 31
[2] Raptor Claw 14 10 1 3 31-17 31
<3> Tanah Burung 14 9 2 3 33-17 29
<4> Europa Brittania 14 6 3 5 29-21 21
5- The Belmore Family 14 5 5 4 21-19 20
6- Dead Man 14 5 1 8 15-26 16
7- Omniworld 14 4 1 9 18-29 13
8- Mikele 14 0 0 14 6-43 0

World Cup 18
Qualification
The Belmore Family 1-3 Eystrck
Eskrador 1-1 The Belmore Family(ouch, two bad games)
Kingsford 2-0 The Belmore Family (Ahem.)
Vorpal Bunnies 0-2 The Belmore Family (Finally, a win.)
The Belmore Family 1-0 Castillanos
The Belmore Family 1-3 NEWI Cefn Druids
Turori 3-1 The Belmore Family
Eystrck 1-1 The Belmore Family
The Belmore Family 1-2 Eskrador(Why me?)
The Belmore Family 1-1 Kingsford
The Belmore Family 2-0 Vorpal Bunnies Yeay, a win!)
Castillanos 2-0 The Belmore Family
NEWI Cefn Druids 1-1 The Belmore Family
The Belmore Family 1-2 Turori
Group 2

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 NEWI Cefn Druids 14 12 2 0 28 8 20 38
2 Turori 14 9 3 2 22 7 15 30
3 Eskrador 14 7 2 5 19 18 1 23
4 Kingsford 14 5 2 7 15 14 1 17
5 Eystrck 14 3 5 6 14 22 -8 14
6 Vorpal Bunnies 14 4 2 8 16 25 -9 14
7 The Belmore Family 14 3 4 7 14 21 -7 13
8 Castillanos 14 2 2 10 11 24 -13 8

Note: This World Cup never happened. Really.

Cup of Harmony First Round
The Belmore Family 2 The Weegies 2
The Belmore Family 6 Kylaai 4
The Belmore Family 1 Big Pimento 1

Group 3 P W D L GF-GAPts
The Belmore Family 3 1 2 0 9-7 5
The Weegies 3 1 1 1 5-4 4
Big Pimento 3 1 1 1 3-3 4
Kylaai 3 1 0 2 6-9 3

Cup of Harmony Quarter Finals
The Belmore Family 4 Legalese 4 (7-8 after penalties)

Best Streak:13 matches without a loss
Worst Streak:5 matches without a win
Most Goals for in one match:6
Most Goals away in one match:4
Least Goals for in one match:0
Least Goals away in one match:0


Matches 243.00
Won 130.00
Drawn 55.00
Lost 58.00
For 421.00
Against 274.00
Goal Difference 1 47.00
Goals For Average 1.73
Goals Against Average 1.13
Win Percentage 53.50%
Loss Percentage 23.87%
Points 445.00
Points Per Game 1.83

The Bedistan Sports Digest

World Cup XIX Preview
I promise, we won't use Roman numerals for every single number in this article

ALAN CITY, The Belmore Family -- The group draws for qualifying for the Nineteenth Edition of the NationStates World Cup have been officially released by the Belmorian and Turorian (hey, that rhymes!) FAs. The Bedistan Lions will be playing in Group Nine:

Group 9:
Bedistan 7
Lovisa 21
Stubbed Toe, Dirty Plate 29
Raptor Claw 34
Big Pimento 59
Gaziantep ??
Hammerund ??
Shonar Bangla ??

[To be honest, we don't know whether any or all of those last three nations are in the Baptism of Fire Cup or not. Any that aren't, consider them to be unranked. And we're also not sure on the name of that third nation listed -- something about the presenter's microphone not being on or some such rubbish.]

So here is the obligatory rundown of the opposition:

#7 Bedistan
Really not "opposition" in the traditional sense of the word, but the Lions will need to overcome a recent trend of just flat out not performing well, particularly on defense. A loss to EL CID THE HERO in the WC18 first round, a 4-1 loss to The Eagle's Nest in the second round, a 3-1 loss to Crystilakere in the Eagle's Cup, and a 4-2 quarterfinal loss in the eighth Under-21 World Cup to Total n Utter Insanity prove that the team just is not coming to play with the right attitude. That's the "opposition" that Bedistan gives itself.

Previous matches at senior level:
(There are 246 of them, and I'm not listing them all here.)
Overall record: 141-50-55

#21 Lovisa
Lovisa is a nation that almost everyone seems to completely overlook, but the fact is they're quite good. Besides, if they weren't good, why would they be on the doorstep of a top-twenty ranking? These guys will definitely be the primary threat to the Lions.

Previous matches at senior level:
WC17 qualifying, MD5: W 3-1
WC17 qualifying, MD12: D 1-1
WC18 first round, MD2: W 5-3
Overall record: 2-1-0

#29 Stubbed Toe, Dirty Plate
Having checked our records for days on end, we can find no previous mention of this nation. Yet somehow they're ranked in the top thirty? Checking those records, we find the nation in the number 29 slot goes by the name "Snub Nose 38". That's probably the name in the local language or something. SN38 is a decent footballing nation that has been around for millenia (or so it seems), but very rarely do they get past the first round of competition.

Previous matches at senior level:
WC8 first round, MD3: W 3-1
WC9 first round, MD2: L 1-2
Overall record: 1-0-1

#34 Raptor Claw
They're like Lovisa and Crystilakere -- nobody thinks of them as having any sort of footballing talent whatsoever, but the fact is, at #34, they're no pushovers. They surprised the world by winning their group in the first round of WC17, a group in which Bedistan was also included.

Previous matches at senior level:
WC17 first round, MD1: D 0-0
Overall record: 0-1-0

#59 Big Pimento
Big Pimento could arguably be the Next Big Thing (tm) in football. Sure, their WC18 qualifying run was a tad disappointing, but still good enough to earn them a top-60 position, which could possibly give them an outside chance of qualifying if teams like Bedistan and Lovisa let slip a few points. Watch out for these guys.

Previous matches at senior level:
None

Gaziantep, Hammerund, and Shonar Bangla
These nations are complete unknowns, and are unlikely to have any significant bearing on the group standings. Unless one of them pulls an Eskrador, but that's not very likely.

Previous matches at senior level:
None

Predictions
What, are you nuts? With all the bad luck the Lions have been having, they don't need another jinx put on them by a prediction. So I'll just predict that we'll finish somewhere between first and eighth, inclusive.

EL CID NEWS.
NEWS YOU CAN USE.

sports news

3RD TIMES THE CHRIME

with so much hype generated 4 years ago only for the team to get knocked out
in a 4-2 defeate in the 3rd day of the group stage hopes are now high that el cid the hero can finaly, after 12 years of trying, get through to the round of 16.

The new Manager, Jonny Doomhammer is hopefull.

"when Chris Skinner got his team to the world cup finals in WC17 his legacy was asured, I hope to do the same by getting the lions through to the last 16 and perhaps beyond and I think we may just do that."

Strong words from a strong man. took over from Chris Skinner, may he rest in peace, after the 3rd night of the WC18 in which when he was returning back to el cid his plain exploded. the cause and his body were never found.

The team however wish to prove that it is the Team itself and not the manager that is the troue test of how strong the lions have become, stay in tuch and we will see if they can forfill skinners dreem.

Group 6:
Kaze Progressa 3 (high rank, 2nd in WC18, but you never know)
NEWI Cefn Druids 13 (new v old)
EL CID THE HERO 26 (go us)
The Weegies 43 (beat to go to the WC17 finals.
Legalese 67 (never met, hears hopping)
Chonchland 150[]
Munchkinloopa 150[all new "new teams dont get through]
Sliponia 150[]

Lethislavania is pretty pumped about the upcoming World Cup event. Although we think we can be a spoiler, we think aiming for sixth is a very good goal. Considering our performance thus far in the Baptism of Fire programme and the fantastic play from Thomas Boeing, this should be an interesting event to watch.

More in the coming days, be sure of that.

Eauz football officials are confused as to where they will be playing their first WCQ match. An official said: "...it is only 1 day before the cup starts, and I am still not sure where we are supposed to travel to or if we stay here in Eauz." According to rumours though, some teams have access to the schedule, and have already booked flights to these countries. It is now too late for Les Bleus to get a private plane because there was a large number of citizens who desired to visit Rejistania, and thus, Les Bleus will have to hop on a 6th class Plane which oddly enough was built in Rejistania. These planes were built back in the 1800's and have no real height to them.

Speaking of Rejistania, a large group of Eauz fans as mentioned earlier as going over to Rejistania to get ready for the Eauz/Rejis match in Rejistania. Les Bleus will need all the support they can get, and Eauz fans have already bought 6,000 seats in the Rejistanian stadium.

OOC: So TBF/V, if you didn't get the point of the RP, do you know where the Schedule for WC19 is? I'm being told that Hiiraan and I are the only people who have actually looked to find the schedule and were unsuccessful...

Adam Island Prepares For World Cup

ADAM CITY- The Adam Island National Football Team, coming off a disappointing loss to Sliponia in the Baptism of Fire regional final, is preparing to compete in their first World Cup tournament, using the same roster as for the Baptism of Fire.

Tomorrow will be their first match, held shortly after the 3rd place match in Crystilakere. Immediatly following it, the team and many fans will be flown to the site of the first match of the World Cup qualifying group.

Because of their sucess in the Baptism of Fire Tournament, the team's coaches have concentrated on the BofF, neglecting preperation for the World Cup qualifiers. A demoralized and undertrained AI coming off of a disappointing third place matchup followed by a hasty flight across the world could make it difficult for the team to compete to their full potential.

The nation of One Red Dot (ORD) finally wakes from its 8 year slumber. "It was a mandatory exercise" the president said, although nobody knew his true intentions. The 11 players of the ORD International Squad were to report their activities (of course, anything other reports will result in their immediate disappearance, or otherwise)

The coach asked, "So...what happened? Did we win the cup?"

"No"

"Then don't tell me anything. No pressure on you people for the past 2 cups and still nothing? You've got to be joking!"

"We did qualify though..."

"So? That's what happens every time. Well, tell me what you've got to say."

"OK, after the sleeping exercise, we were still in the midst of the WC16 Group Rounds. We lost to Spaam and Svecia 1-3 and 0-1 respectively.

In WC17, we ended up with 7 wins, 2 draws and 5 losses, which resulted in a 4th place finish. The only match of interest was a 2-1 win against Gesamtkuntswerk. Although we didn't qualify, we were given a chance in a playoff. We faced Lykaia and defeated the 1-0 AET. We assume that means Australian Eastern Time. Anyway, in the Group Stages, we played in Group G in Kaze Progressa. We lost to Svecia and Rejistania, 1-2, 0-2 respectively but defeated EL CID THE HERO 1-0.

In WC18, we ended up with 7 wins, 4 draws and 3 losses, which resulted in a 2nd place finish and instant qualification. But we were far behind from Vilita with 11 wins, 2 draws and 1 loss. Upset matches include a 2-1 win against Vilita. In the Group Stages, we were in Group E. Playing in Bedistan, we drew Kaze Progressa 0-0, and lost to NEWI Cefn Druids and Snub Nose 38, 0-1, 0-2 respectively."

"What are the records so far?"

"Here are the records as they stand:
ORD WC Stats by aSWORD (Association for the Sports World of ORD)

WC WC12 WC13 WC14 WC15 WC16 WC17 WC18 WC19
Matches 14 21 22 21 13 18 17 0

W 8 12 16 12 5 9 7 0
D 4 3 4 4 2 2 5 0
L 2 6 2 5 6 7 5 0

GF 27 27 45 41 18 27 27 0
Mean GF 1.93 1.29 2.05 1.95 1.38 1.50 1.59 0.00
GA 11 12 19 26 16 27 15 0
Mean GA 0.79 0.57 0.82 1.24 1.23 1.50 0.88 0.00
GD +16 +15 +26 +15 +2 0 +12 0
Mean GD +1.14 +0.89 +1.18 +0.71 0.15 0.00 0.71 0.00

ACCUMULATED STATISTICS
Matches 117 138 160 181 194 212 229 229

W 62 74 90 102 107 116 123 123
D 28 31 35 39 41 43 48 48
L 27 33 35 40 46 53 58 58

GF 204 231 276 317 335 362 389 389
Mean GF 1.74 1.67 1.73 1.75 1.73 1.71 1.70 1.70
GA 118 130 149 175 191 218 233 233
Mean GA 1.01 0.94 0.93 0.97 0.98 1.03 1.02 1.02
GD +86 +101 +127 +142 +144 +144 +156 +156
Mean GD +0.74 0.73 0.79 +0.78 +0.78 +0.68 +0.68 +0.68

RANK
Mean Opp. 39.67 28.57 30.11 36.38 57.30 48.33 50.81 40.20
Highest Opp. 15 5 2 8 21 2 7 4
Lowest Opp. 74 53 71 115 90 130 122 85

Pre-Cup 11 28 29 22 17 23 26 27
Standardised -0.93 -0.03 -0.05 -0.20 -1.02 -0.63 -0.59 -0.37

World Cup 4-11 statistics have been truncated to accommodate newer records.
*Rounding-ups/downs may cause calculative errors in the table.
**The more negative the ‘Standardised’ value, the better.

As you can see, we slipped a lot in defence in WC17, but picked up well in WC18. This year, we hope that it would be a fruitful campaign for the cup. Now we are going to play in WC19, otherwise known as WC!9. It is..."

"What? WC exclamationmark nine!? Is there an easier way? I mean, which idiot came up with that?"

"We don't really know. But another way, although disputed, is WCXIX."

"WC Exaiex?? Is that Turorian for 19?"

"No, its allegedly Roman."

"Roman, aren't them people dead already? Why can't we stick to 19? I'm going to anyway, and tell the press to do so to. Hmph, even Sisujkyuj sounds better..."

"Sisujkyuj?"

"Yeh, Sisujkyuj, that's Najid for 19... don't you know the language of the natives of ORD? So what's next? WC2() for WC20?? Or WCXXI for WC21. I won't stand for saying WC Exexai!! 4r3 w3 4|| 8()!|\|8 +0 5p34k |!k3 +|-|!5 !|\| p|-|U+Ur3?? I won't stand for it...did Margaret ask you all to do this??"

"Er...well...anyway, this year, all 11 of us are too old, so we have set up a new team on your behalf. New recruits include Reggie Stenia, Jay Entzkinis, Allen Bellmoor, Mark Garett and Ian Xessol."

"Well, I hope they would be fine players. Somehow, though, those names sound familiar. Anyway, who are they going to play against?"

"Erm... we are playing against The Eagle's Nest (4), Melmond (17), Spaam (35), Fmjphoenix (60), Kipto-Mare (85), Lennon Marx and Phazania. Our record against them stands as such:

WC14 Group Stage, Group C, Spaam (2), 3-2 Win
WC15 Group Stage, Group D, Spaam (13), 2-2 Draw
WC16 Group Stage, Group H, Spaam (19), 1-3 Loss
WC13 Qualifiers, Group 6, Lennon Marx, 0-0 Draw
WC13 Qualifiers, Group 6, Lennon Marx, 1-0 Win

The Eagle's Nest, Melmond, Fmjphoenix, Kipto-Mare, Phazania - None"

"Doesn't seem promising for the young Wolves, not playing against some of them. Well, you people are dismissed. And don't take my job in the future..."

Players leave...

"Let's see what's in the Red Dot Informant today...

The Red Dot Informant
Kahi’d Diad Xhijbua – 红点日报 – 赤い点新聞
LARGE BOLD TEXT IRRITATES READERS, SURVEY SHOWS

"Man, what a put off..."

post

TEN Announces Roster; Analysis of Group 5

"At least Iansisle isn't in our group" - Siggy Secour.

The Nest has sent in their roster to the appropriate place and will not be repeated here, but we WILL look at Group 5.


Group 5:
The Eagle's Nest 4
Melmond 17 (0-0-0)
One Red Dot 27 (0-0-0)
Spaam 35 (0-1-2)
Fmjphoenix 60 (2-0-0)
Kipto-Mare 85 (0-0-0)
Lennon Marx 150 (0-0-0)
Phazania 150 (0-0-0)


As you can see we have not played too many of these teams. One Red Dot and melmond will be good teams in the group and will be looking to make some noise and a win over the Nest. However, there is one team that strikes fear in the hearts of Nest Fans everywhere....

Spaam.

Spaam, the infamous RP wars from WC 12 left carnage in their wake and the Nest and Spaam battled tete a tete for many days, with Spaam coming ahead in both games 1-0 and 2-1. The two teams met again in Group Play in World Cup 17, but both teams tied at 1. Can this be the year that the Strike Birds FINALLY get a win over Spaam?

Fmjphoenix lost two times 2-0 last cup and knows the Nest well. However, there still seems to be a skill gap between the two teams.

So how do we think this will turn out? We see three teams, Melmond, One Red Dot, and Spaam fighting with the Nest for those three spots to get to the World Cup. We believe that The Nest and Melmond are locks, with the head to head battles between One Red Dot and Spaam to decide the third.

In other news, Cheer boxes for all teams in the Qualifiers are available now. Send you check or money order to the following address *address flashes on screen* or call this phone number to order by credit card. Cheer boxes will yell your team cheers without you having to lose your voice. Order today!

The Scores thread (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7577046)

Starblaydia Dropped To 15th in the World
"Slani KPB points" blamed for first 'drop', of sorts

Though drawn out of the hat in Alan City as the 14th-ranked team in the world, Starblaydia have been shunted down to 15th by regional rivals and World Cup Co-Hosts Turori.

Is this a case of the establishment looking after it's newest member? Well, not really. Due to the latest updating of the rankings, Starblaydia's supreme efforts to win 3rd place over Krytenia at the 5th Under-21 World Championship have been removed from the equation that takes these sorts of things into account.

Thus, Starblaydia's incredible performance of only losing a single match in the entire 9-game tournament, to Cockbill Street in the Semi, has been wiped from the minds of the Kaze Progressan and Bedistani statisticians that like their numbers and stats and things.

So what does this all mean? Not very much, as a matter of fact. Starblaydia are still just as good as they ever were and this will make them even more determined to get to the World Cup Finals with a great Qualification Record and out-perform Turori, as always.

All the other Teams in Group 1 better watch out, because Starblaydia are coming for you... and because its a slow news day here in Jhanna. Hell, we need to talk about something, otherwise you oiks might start thinking!

At the risk of severe punishment, I've posted this in the scores thread - and all other WC XIX threads - because Matchday 1 Scores got screwed up. It isn't really important why - what is important is that the Co-Hosts post a notice in all the WC XIX threads telling all participants that Matchday 1 had to be scratched, and done again. I think that post should also include the 2nd, real, results of Matchday 1.

... but defeated EL CID THE HERO 1-0.




OCC: no you didn't I won that match 1-0

Sorry, my mistake