NationStates Jolt Archive

Emperor Armand strode down the dark hallway. The sound of his foot steps seemed to fill the otherwise soundless hall. His black boots carried him into a vast, cavernous dwelling filled with gigantic mechanical contraptions. All manners of gears and wires were strewn around. Hunch backed scientists typed away at their glaring computer screens. Armand's scowling face loomed over a thin, wiry haired fellow wearing a lab coat.
"Professor Stein! Is the formula ready?"
The professor shivered in fear. The leader of the Holy Empire of Armandian Cheese was imposing enough to terrify any man, much less a coward of Stein's stature.
"Y-yes. Sir. The formula, Formula Anti-Love, is operational, master."
A demonic flicker appeared behind Armand's glasses. His mouth formed into a demonci smile.
"Most excellent. Prepare mass production."

That's stupid. You want to make an entire nation of horny people? Shame on you!
(Quote edited by Ceragon, the dreaded Ghouti sentence Nazi)

OOC:
We don't know the formula's exact effect. We don't know what it's going to be used for. IC, we don't even know it exists. The post, while certainly not the best I've seen, was far better written than yours.

The Emperor stomped into the room. Maps were strewn across the long, rectangular table. Armand glared at the cowering fools who dared call themselves Generals.
"I guess that is what I have to deal with when I'm dictator of such a puny and weak country." he muttered under his breath.
"Sir? Why do you grace us with your Holy presence?", said a cowering, chubby, and mustachioed general.
"Stop being such a suck up, fool. I see right through your idiotic machinations...GUARDS! Execute him!"
"NO!"
A gunshot echoed through the room, and the general slumped in his chair, lifeless.
"Now, I have gathered here before me for a purpose. That purpose is simple. As you all know, my greatest hatred in this world is...LOVE! This vile emotion drives people to perform horrid actions in their bed rooms, to waste their time on "romantic affairs", and makes even the most reasonable of men lose their minds. My top scientists have worked furiously to develop a Final Solution to this problem, and they have succeeded."
Armand withdrew a glowing, pinkish fluid encased in a glass beaker.
"I present to you...formula H.A.T.E.! Convert it into a spray, and you have the ideal solution to the world's greatest problem!"
A thin, wiry man wearing a drab green uniform and a black beret, stood up.
"But...shir, shvat do you vant from uz?"
"Morons! Isn't it obvious! Listen closely..."

OOC: Ghout, thanks for the kind words.

bump

#tag# :)
(this looks cool, by all means go on. Maybe my 'gay spray' can tie in at some point :P)

(OOC: I'm going to need some nation to step in as a victim later.)

The Emperor grinned as he flew in his provisional command center, a zeppelin. Despite the recent set back of an Anagonian nuclear strike on his capital, followed by a Cassopian nuclear assault on the remaining black husk, he was ready to carry through his plan.
"Borislav!"
A servant clad in a black, ninja suit came up next to the Emperor, Armand.
"Sir, you shot him a few minutes ago."
"Oh yeah...well then, you, ninja man, shall be my closest confidante. Now, send the order to unleash the formula! I want my entire air force to spray this nation!
"Are you sure...?"
"YES! UNLEASH MY BEAUTIFUL CREATION!"
All around Armandian Cheese, B-2s, B-52s, and all manners of bomber unleashed their cargo. But it was not bombs. No, it was much worse...it was FORMULA H.A.T.E! Neon pink gas showered every man, woman and child. Evry home, coffee shop, store, paintball arena was covered. The world seemed to hold its breath, waiting to see what would occur.

OOC: Isn't this going to have a devastating effect on your population in the long run?

In one moment, the world changed. Well, at least one nation did. Couples stopped kissing in Cafes, weddings ended with a "I Don't", and high school sweethearts stared at each other with disgust. Phase one was complete. All love had been eliminated in his beautiful nation. A servant spoke to the emperor.
"Sir, won't this destroy our nation's population?"
"SILENCE! We can simply use "in vitro" clinics, or cloning. What matters is that love has been eliminated! Now, send a message to all nations, asking them if they would wish to purchase my beautiful potion."

Bump

Ohhhh...what goes "Bump" in the night? This post!

O MY GOD. This has to be the stupidest thing i have ever read...
But at the same time i am overwhemlingly intrigued. This is possibly the most revolutionary post ever. You sir, are a genius! I am filled with the overwhelming desire to buy you a balloon of somekind.
BUMP!

The courier stepped off the plane at the (remaining) large airport in Armandian Cheese and headed through the terminal with his diplomatic pouch handcuffed to his wrist. Containing nothing more than documents he passed through securty and obtained instructions from them on how to reach the closest government office. Walking in he stood quietly in line waiting for the secretary to finish her other work before placing the pouch on the desk.

"I have a diplomatic message for the Emperor and I'm afraid I don't exactly have instructions on how to reach him. I've heard that the capital has been destroyed so I didn't just want to travel straight there."

When the poor fellow who screened the Emperor's mail finally opened the package after the numerous security sweeps he found it contained three folded sheets of paper on official letterhead. The first was a cover sheet with the flag of Sunset emblazoned on it and the second contained the following:

----

Emperor Armand,

We have heard tale of the discovery of something called 'anti-love serum' by your nation's scientists. Being a scientifically minded nation we would like to obtain a sample of this serum as well as perhaps lease the expertise of those who created it.

We do realize that the application of this serum will cause problems for your future population growth and we might be able to arrange a trade to solve the problem. You see we have much the same problem: Due to heavy pollution as well as a lack of interest in personal fitness among our citizens many are unable to reproduce naturally. A long time ago our own scientists discovered a way around this problem. It is simple called 'Baby-In-A-Box'. Rather than go through a cumbersome in-vitro process that still involves a potentially flawed womb this device does literally everything. Plug it in to the wall, insert two different genetic samples in the provided holes (normally via finger prick), and nine months later the baby is ready.

If you are interested in a trade we would be willing to send an envoy to your nation to arrange the particulars. I might come myself - I have heard about your country and would be interested in seeing it for myself if I can get some time away.

Regards,
Ambassador Penguin,
Libertarian Paradise of Sunset

----

The third page was a set of instructions for contacting Ambassador Penguin via use of a UHF radio on a certain frequency during certain hours. An identification code was given as well that would route the signal to the Ambassador.

OOC: Ghout, thanks for the kind words.
I give credit where credit is due. This is a very creative idea, and I look forward to seeing where it goes...
*adds official stamp of approval to the thread*

*is refreshed to see an inventive RP*

The Emperor's cunning (well, that's what he called them) features formed an evil smile as he read the letter from the nation of Sun Set.
"In the words of a wise man, 'Most Excellent.' Not only have I eliminated the vile scourge of love, which only wasted away our nation's time and resources, I have the opportunity to spread my glorious device to other nations. Soon, all love will be destroyed! Valentine's day will become nothing but a foot note in history. Even better, I will be able to rely on a new method to continue our nation's population growth. 'Baby in a Box' was it? I believe that was what Ambassador Penguin called it...Servant! Contact the ambassador by his specified methods of communication, and tell him to send an envoy to these coordiantes: 527-839. My command zeppelin awaits him."

The Emperor watched his favorite news channel Fox News, (Fair and Balanced!) and observed the cleanup efforts going on in his capitol. Suddenly, the television flashed with the message "URGENT FOX NEWS ALERT"
"Hello. This is Brit Hume reporting, and we have just received information of a protest going on in the nation of Armandian Cheese. Let's listen in."
The TV showed footage of hippy protesters waving signs. These signs displayed messages such as,"We want love!" or "What's so bad about lovin' each otha'?" Then one of the protesters, a young, unshaven, and dissheveled man wearing a tie die shirt, spoke.
"My brothas! We was out of the country for our annual "Love Fest", and what happened? All love's been eliminated! Then we find out the government did this! Why? we just want to loooooooooooove!!!!"
The hippies proceeded to perform evil and vile actions, such as kissing and hugging. Armand, the Emperor, nearly unleashed his lunch onto the floor before quickly turning off the TV.
"Pilot! Send us over the location of that protest! These fools need to be...educated..."

Do any other nations wish to sample my glorious creation?

Bump!

Bumpity bump?

bump?

At the appointed hour a small aircraft appeared on the horizon and zipped over hill and through valley until it arrived at the zepplin. How it had found the location was quite unspecified but despite the rather vague coordinates given it had somehow shown up. The aerodyne slowed and hovered with it's twin fans roaring. Carefully sliding up to the nose of the zepplin a boarding door slid open and waited for the gangplank to be slid across. As soon as it was secured in place a single, short figure appeared in the doorway and nothing more or less than a meter tall emperor penguin walked carefully across. Looking up at the crew it blinked and fixed them with it's beady black eyes.

"Take me to your leader."

After a silent moment it continued.

"In the center of the cabin is a single crate containing a very fragile unit. You may bring it aboard and inspect it if you wish before bringing it along. Do not disturb anything else please."

I'll post in an hour.

OOC: Eh, sorry for the delay.
"Well...this is a surprise..."
Emperor Amrand looked upon the Ambassador of Sunset.
"I thought Penguin was just a name...no matter. My scientists have inspected your "Baby in a Box" creation, and found it satisfactory. We need to make a few modifications to make it available for mass production, but those are details. Now, because I loathe all forms of love, I shall give you all the formula you require. I have a few samples with me, which you may take and reproduce in your nation. However, I ask you...why do you wish to use my beautiful creation? Can I aid you in its use?"

OOC: It's Ambassador - he's an Emperor Penguin as in the species.

IC:

"It is interesting as a potential antidote actually. As incredible as it may seem there are nations out there who use love technology to inspire love in their enemies. Insidious, isn't it? As far as the 'Baby in a Box' they are already mass produced though you might need to make some modifications for your technology base. Most of our population is born this way due to an extreme environment that has rendered much of the population incapable of natural reproduction."

OOC: Sorry about that. I just fixed it.
IC:
"Well, do you wish to use it now? My air force is armed with the substance and could strike at any moment...On a side note, has this "Baby in a Box" technology been tested on humans? I mean no offense, but our physiology is a bit different..."

The penguin took a sip of a glass of wine offered by a servant before replying, "Oh - I assure you they will work perfectly well for humans. Technically they create a new fertilized egg from a 'blank' as it were - so they can do any species that uses DNA combination to replicate. The model I brought is built for humans anyway. I came from an egg."

He paused and took another sip from the wine. "This is a good vintage - perhaps trade of another nature could be arranged. As far as our enemies go we are at war with none and politics demand that we not be the aggressor. What we would like a trade - the full technical details on how these units work in return for the formula and an agreement to not pass these details on beyond that trade?"

"I prefer vodka myself...Part of my Russian heritage. I only serve wine to my guests, since the elites of the world seem to prefer it. Never mind that, however. I agree to your terms. However, please note that while I will not pass along your technology, I cannot make the same pledge about mine. servants have already dleivered samples of the formula to your transport, along with a few scientists and detailed explanations of how to create the formula. I'll briefly tell you how it works, so you can have some undertsnaidng of what you're getting. Basically, it releases enzymes into the body that inhibit the activity of hormones responsible for all things connected to love."
Armand's plan to spread this creation were working. Soon love itself shall be erased from all memory!, he thought.
"Well, if that's all, I believe we can conclude this meeting. I bid you farewell, and I hope we can do business shortly."

"I thank you for your hospitality, Emperor Amrand. If you have need of anything that we might be able to arrange don't hesitate to ask - the same signal will suffice."

With that Ambassador Penguin gave his goodbye's and returned to his craft. Securing everything and making sure the scientists were belted in he entered the control cabin and the transport dropped away from the zeppelin. As it shot away the penguin returned to the passenger cabin, seemingly unconcerned that he was not at the controls.

"Gentlemen, you are in for a very different trip than you might have been expecting."

Outside the turbofans stopped and locked in place as the craft began to veer sharply upward still seemingly under power. The scientists could see out the windows and the earth seemed to be falling away rapidly and they realized they were in a verticle climb.

"Oh, very different indeed..." the penguin said, beady eyes flashing, as he returned to the control cabin.

Donald Jacobson, Phd in Loveology, (a new science), stared frantically out the window. He had agreed to come along on this trip to visit the exotic land of Sunset, but he was beginning to regret his decision. A scientist to the end, he tried to think of any vehicle he knew that could swittch from a horizontal to a vertical climb in midair, at a very fast rate. None came to mind.
"What do you want with us?!?!" he screamed, frantically.

"Perhaps a little explination is in order. This craft will exit Earth's atmosphere in approximately two minutes. We will then head to the moon and our secret base there and from there - well - it will be on to an even more secret facility elsewhere. I would suggest you collect yourself since you will want to be ready for what happens when we get there..."

The penguin trailed off and returned to the command cabin, the door sliding shut after him. True to his words the blue outside slowly turned darker until finally giving way to complete darkness and unblinking stars outside.

Jacobson, being a scientist, managed to regain some semblance of calm. He looked at the situation from a cold, observor's perspective, as to avoid panic. He avoided asking more questions, on fearing of being killed. After all, he had no idea what this creature had up his sleeve, except for a trip to the moon. That alone astounded him. Armandian Cheese had made it to space; of course. But in such a tiny craft...That was also regular plane! Amazing! He looked out of the window, terrified, yet curious as he waited for the penguin's next move.

A shadow fell across it as they rounded Luna towards the dark side of the moon. A colossal ring some nine hundred meters in diameter studded with towers of unknown purpose and design. None appeared to be weapon emplacements though there were ports on the main hull that could have been weapons or could have been for merely docking. The scientists didn't have time to investigate however as the universe was ripped asunder in front of their very eyes.

From a pinprick of light in the center of the ring a vortex of power erupted until it nearly reached the edge of the ring. Constrained there by forces beyond reconning it waited as the small aerodyne, many times smaller than the vast construct, arrowed straight into the center of the vortex and was gone.

Mere moments later another world spread out under them. At first they could have sworn it was Mars - the familiar red sphere nearly jumped out at them - but there was entirely too much blue in a vast northern ocean as well as a gigantic southern lake. Everywhere there were signs of life from a giant tree that could actually be seen from orbit to a tremendous carpet of green life that covered the ground below. All around them they could see... ships. A lot of them.

And they seemed to be shooting at something. Energy ripped away at the fabric of space as two armadas duked it out in orbit and the scientists watched as ships flying the flags of a dozen nations on their bow pounded on another. Another that flew no flag and seemed to be nothing more than giant masses of flesh.

"Sorry to bring you in like this - not a pleasant time really - but we will be heading towards our destination now."

The craft turned and headed away from the warzone while behind it ships found, won, and died. It headed towards the largest speck in the sky instead. Again the scientists thought 'Phobos' but as they neared it this seemed somehow wrong. Large sections were missing and black veins seemed to crisscross the surface. The craft neared the moon and flew around one edge over a vast crater. In the center were a half-dozen ships hovering just over the surface. Umbilicals linked them to the strange neo-pyramid structures on the surface.

The aerodyne headed for one in particular - a craft flying the Sunset flag across a broad forward plane and with the name 'SDF Volga' under that. Heading to the rear it winged around to a bay and doors slid open to recieve it. As they slowly nosed in for a landing the cabin slid open and the penguin re-emerged.

"Gentlemen - welcome to Stickney Crater Base."

Eva Volgin, an astronomy professor at Stimpleton university, shouldn't have been amazed. She was, after all, a scientist. An astronomer, of all things. New planets and worlds shouldn't have shocked her. But they did. Here she was, following a penguin inside a giant crater base on another planet after stepping off of a spaceship capable of some kind of instantaneous travel. She was too timid to ask anything, her blonde little head only used to poring over charts and data. The only reason she had even been involved in this affair was the fact that her research had found a key substance to the anti-love formula on the moon. Otacon, on the other hand, had no such reservations. He was black haired, young weapons scientist with black, thin glasses and enormous eyes, trained in the art of reverse engineering, and was constantly full of questions.
"Hey, what's going on here? What do you need us for? What's your favorite color? Am I fat? My mom thinks I'm special. Was that ship travelling faster than light speed? Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are you?..."
Too full of questions. Eva covered his mouth, and Jacobson slapped him on the forehead. He smiled sheepishly, and adressed the Penguin.
"Sorry about him. He's a brilliant scientist, but a little young. However, he does raise some legitimate questions. What's going on here? Do you need our help? Does this have anything to do with our formula?"

"It does, yes. This moon was the site of a colony constructed by a nation that made extensive use of a sort of group mind technology. The people - human - operated as sort of a gestalt. Now something caused everyone in this colony to die. But not die on a physical level. Their bodies are still here but they are all brain dead with no activity as far as we can determine. You are here partially because of your expertise and partially because of coincidence. I hadn't been expecting scientists to be dropped in my lap but I'm going to take advantage of it."

The penguin moved over to the door and stood in front of it with his hand over the controls.

"For tonight - it is night now aboard ship - you will be shown to your berths and one of the command crew will brief you on the rules aboard ship, your access privledges, and similar information you will need. This is a warship - trying to access restricted area will likely get you shot. Just a warning."

A touch of the controls and the door opened. Stepping out into the bay the penguin gestured to a doorway where a squad of armed and armored figures stood with the door behind them sliding shut. No weapons were pointed but the hulking men and women clearly meant business.

Jacobson tossed and turned in his berth, uncertain of what awaited him. One on hand, the temptation to go and explore this fantastic ship was almost impossible to resist...but on the other, those guards didn't look to friendly...
He gave up trying to fall asleep, and walked out of his berth. He looked out of the window, witnessing glorious constellations, planets, and ships.
"Well, if I can't sleep, might as well work on the problem here. He said those people were brain dead, but physically alive. Hmmm...they may be in a coma. If their body functions, but their mind doesn't, the only thing that is damaged is the cerebral cortex. But...why does such an advanced civilization rely on our help? Wouldn't they know such things?"
The professor went back to bed, puzzling.

The same question was asked the next morning and a reply given. The scientists had spent a couple hours in a briefing room along with a team of specialists who had gone over everything from accepted proceedure, safety on the site, the chain of command, and how to wear and maintain a hazardous materials suit. Now it was time for questions.

"Why does such an advanced civilization rely on our help?"

"Well Professor, think of it this way. While our scientists are very smart they are dealing with the unknown to a certain extent. The group mind technology is inherently distasteful to our people and this means the scientists have a certain bias. A way of looking at things you might say. Ambassador Penguin felt that this presented an opportunity to have someone with a fresh perspective look at the situation and you fell right into his lap.

Your work with the anti-love serum means you know a lot about human biology, hormone interactions, and brain functions. So you are qualified to take a look at the situation and help us make sure it is safe, figure out how it works, and so on. You are not going to be alone down there - dozens of the finest minds in this area are working on the site. You will each be assigned two research assistants as well. Though these will be SDF personnel who's duties also include keeping an eye on you obviously.

Any other questions?"

Jacobson, who had emerged as the leader of the group, replied.
"Well, yes, actually. While this may sound a little grim, it would help us in our research immensely. What I'm asking is if any of these subjects have died physically as well as mentally. We would like to conduct an autopsy, and screen the brain for certain excess hormones, and such."

"To answer that I think you better talk to the head of the research side of our project..."

The researchers were escorted through the ship again though this morning something seemed... different. All of the ship's crew were armed and once or twice the researchers spotted and in once case passed a pair of marines patrolling the hallways with a pair of mechanical humanoids following them. All four seemed intent on checking every face as they passed. One of the androids paused as the group walked past.

"Jacobson, R. Research Scientist, Attached... Authorized..."

It then continued on, but the encounter was unusual if not disturbing. On the shuttle flight down they were instructed to put on their suits though they could see that they were heading for a building of sorts. Once they had docked at a different section than that connected to the ships they went through a lock and were met by a group of scientists. One, a short uncharismatic male who seemed to be in charge, stepped forward. Without as much as a handshake he introduced the party.

"This is Professor Quinn," He indicated a much more attractive female researcher on his left, "And this is Doctor Lovi." The other woman was short, fat, and had adopted a variety of body alteration techniques that had only served to further define her as 'ugly'. "I am Doctor Stephen Ambrose." He stopped and waited for their introductions before proceeding. "If you will accompany me I will take you to the research center where I will answer any questions and you can take a look at our research thus far before diving in."

He nodded and a young man barely in his twenties stepped forward. "This is my assistant Marcus Gray - if you need anything from me in the future come to him first."

The group of scientists entered the laboratory, eager to be out of the tense setting outside. They had all worked under military control, since the very project that brought them here had been strictly under wraps. But that was different. Those soldiers were their comrades, there to protect them. These marines...they could not really tell. It seemed that the more they delved into this situation, the messier it got.
However, most of their fears were quickly forgotten when the entered the laboratory. Scientists were really just like children. Children loved toys, and scientists loved gadgets. There was no difference, really. And there were
enough "toys" to satisfy even the most spoiled child. Glowing, flourescent tubes filled with strange forms of jelly. Spinning metallic disks. Computer keyboards with holographic screens. And of course, microscopes and petri dishes.
Otacon cried out,"Holy son of Jehusafat on a pogo stick! This is like...the place where scientists go when they die! Well, good scientists anyway. Bad scientists are forced to study toilet bacteria and collect samples with their tongue..."
Jacobson said,"Well, now that Otacon has stated his random thought of the day, how about you tell us what research you already have, Marcus?"

Bump!

Bumpity bump to the bump power!

Bump?

OOC: Sorry about the delay, been addicted to World of Warcraft lately.

IC:

"Doctor Ambrose has done a lot already, and myself I don't know why you have been brought in. He is a brilliant man and I'm sure he is days away from a breakthrough."

One of the other researchers turned and walked over to the group. "You'll excuse Marcus - he's got something of a complex going concerning Doctor Ambrose. Seems to worship the man."

Marcus turned and scowled at the other researcher. "Doctor Ambrose is a great..."

"Marcus - go kiss his ass and leave us to some work ok?" Marcus turned and walked off in a huff and the researcher continued, "We've been doing a lot of information gathering at this point. We have a full dissection of course - this one was dead already though as the life support system failed. We haven't unhooked any and done an immediate dissection but we have the data from a medical exam. Hard to get one of them to cough though..."

He gestured to a side area where the party could see a small line of units that seem to have been there when the facility was constructed. Each held a human but each was altered in some way. Tubes and conduits linked each to the chair or inclined surface on which they were mounted.

"These would be our patients - if you want to consider an empty shell a patient."