NationStates Jolt Archive

The groups have been drawn on IRC based on random integers where 1 ≥ x ≤ 3 - Bedistan did the integers and I translated them into groups.

Group Draw

Group A:
Cockbill Street
Krytenia
Maserrat
Nova Britannicus

Group B:
Sarzonia
The Gulf States
Fmjphoenix
Legalese

Group C:
The Belmore Family
Kylaai
The Weegies
Big Pimento

Matchday 1 in your TG boxes soon-ish.

TBF stadiums:

Mussex United Stadium:
Name: Flavento (Belmorian for Panther) Stadium
Cost 59,000,000
Seats: 103,000
Completed: January 3rd 2004

The All new Mussex United Stadium purposely designed or great all round viewing. With the circular design and perfectly angled seats no-ones view will be compromised. Filled with 40 commentary boxes all around the stadium this stadium will provide stunning TV moments.
http://www.worldstadiums.com/stadium_pictures/south_america/brazil/rio_de_janeiro/rio_de_janeiro_maracana1.jpg

Alan City FC Stadium:
Name: Belmorian International
Cost 89,000,000
Seats: 100,000
Completed: January 11th 2004
Belmorian International is a real feat of design. Holding 100,000 citizens it creates a great atmosphere and will lead teams to glory as it hosts the World Cup. To the North of the stadium is a giant roster, purposely built to hold the World Cup.
http://www.worldstadiums.com/stadium_menu/past_future/pictures/future_stadiums/beijing_olympic.jpg

Faci FC Stadium:
Name: Winter Wonderstadium
Cost 49,000,000
Seats: 85,000
Completed: September 17th 2003
Located in the most Northerly region of TBF, Faci is one of the most spectacular areas for football. Consistently covered in ice of snow, the ball zips off the top testing the keepers to extreme. A place great for the stars but naf if your only average as many players found out in the BPL last season.
http://www.stadiumguide.com/espanolnew1.jpg

The Datelian Flaventoes Stadium:
Name: Alan Belmore Tribute Stdium
Cost 26,000,000
Seats: 74,400
Completed: November 13th 2003
Located in the most Southerly region of TBF right on the border with Belmorian Scandinavia this ground is punishing on the athletes taking part. With temperatures reaching up to 40 degrees Celsius lasting the whole 90 minutes is tough. With the Datelian Flaventoes being promoted to the premiership for the new season the crowd will be already to see some stars in action.
http://www.stadiumguide.com/newoaka.jpg

Alan City Grippas (Belmorian for Gecko) Stadium:
Name: Grippa International
Cost 30,000,000
Seats: 70,000
Completed: March 29th 2003
The oldest Stadium in The Belmore Family, located to the east of Alan City in the Belmorian desert. Surprisingly enough the teams that that have to endure this stadium will be treated in luxury despite being miles away from civilization.
http://www.worldstadiums.com/stadium_menu/past_future/pictures/future_stadiums/nasser_moubark.jpg

Streetian stadiums:

The Roegrow Grass Patch
Age - 91 years
Capacity - as many people as can stand around it (about 4500)
Club: Roegrow Athletic

Infamous for hosting the Field Hockey World Cup with many "funny" incidents, the grass patch has recently been improved, and people generally don't let their dogs out there anymore. However, it's still a pretty poor pitch, and no stands are expected to be built for the Cup of Harmony - other stadiums need the money. Despite constant stadium worries, Roegrow remains one of the better teams in the Street, led by international striker Robbie Stubbings and defender Benny Cribbage.

Harewood Ground
Age - 60 years
Capacity - 26,000
Club: Harewood F.C.

The Harewood Ground is a small capacity stadium, it is unlikely to have a lot of games in the tournament, but it has atmosphere and a certain football culture seen in few cities of Cockbill Street. Harewood have established themselves as one of the primary clubs in Cockbill Street after consistent performances in the Compound League, and the McLavish brothers who are just breaking through in the U-21 are hyped as the "best thing that happened on the wings since sliced bread and Harald Axewielder."

Vimesbairn Cricket Ground
Age - 124 years
Capacity - 81,000
Club: CSCT County Cricket, Rats (national cricket team), Vimesbairn Athletic

The Vimesbairn Cricket Ground is an extremely well-established stadium, used for cricket matches since the beginning of sports in Cockbill Street. Among others, it has hosted the final of the Kelwanese Cricket Championships, and several CS Cup finals in football. The county cricket league in Cockbill Street will be scheduled so that no matches for CSCT will be played here while the World Cup is going on. Should Cockbill Street play matches here instead of at the National, Jonathan Havell, a future candidate for goalkeeper, would be pleased to return to his former club.

Vimesbairn National Stadium
Age - 90 years
Capacity - 138,000
Club: Vimesbairn United, National football team

The Vimesbairn National Stadium has been used for all national matches in Cockbill Street, and also hosted the final of the Field Hockey World Cup. It is the largest stadium of Cockbill Street, both in capacity and pure area of grass (125 x 95 metres). It has been slightly reduced in size after World Cup 13, where some matches weren't full and at other matches security was a problem.

K'haz'bak K'ruz'ba D'gazh'dukh
Age - 96 years
Capacity - 94,000
Club: K'haz'bak K'druz'ba

The major stadium of the K'haz'bak K'druz'ba club, this stadium has seen many tense league fights between them and Vimesbairn United. Although not having any international experience, the stadium has seen frequent match-ups between the Dwarfs v the Trolls - the classic all-star match of the Cockbill Street league. Security is obviously on top in these matches, and will not be a problem here. Hence, the most "tense" matches will be arranged in this stadium.

Northset County Cricket Ground (Chesham)
Age - 40 years
Capacity - 62,000
Club: Northset County Cricket, Chesham Rangers

Another cricket ground, this stadium was recently built to celebrate Northset's county championship (their old ground had a capacity of 8,000). Second division side Chesham Rangers also play here, but usually on Wednesday afternoons. Again, of course, Northset matches will be rescheduled, and due to the huge amount of stadia in this cup, this should not be a problem. It is the youngest stadium in Cockbill Street, built in celebration of the Street's admittance to World Cup Ten, and although the locals of Chesham don't have a lot to cheer for lately, that'll only spur them on in finding new teams. Apparently, Bedistani, Oglethorpians and Aquillans are popular here after World Cup 13.

Jotneheim Park
Age - 113 years
Capacity - 20,000
Club: Jotneheim Mountains AFC

Although a small stadium, the Jotneheim Park has a certain charm. Situated beautifully among the mountains, the danger is that players will stop looking at the scenery. It too has hosted a number of Dwarfs v Trolls match-ups. It will also be used for "tense" match-ups, but mainly for smaller teams playing each other.

http://www.geocities.com/versionizer/jotneheim.jpg

Thatcher Road, Upperborough
Age - 54 years
Capacity - 34,000
Club: Upperborough FC

Perhaps not with the best facilities, but this stadium is a reasonably good one. Its major club, Upperborough FC, has stayed in the Cockbill Street Compound League for well over forty years, and is one of the better teams in the league. Their stadium is a traditional one, and ten years ago Upperborough FC invested in seats for everybody. This picture was very recently taken, and it shows the stadium from above.

http://www.geocities.com/versionizer/thatcher-road.jpg

Fixture list:

Group A:

Cockbill Street v Maserrat - Vimesbairn National
Krytenia v Nova Britannicus - K'haz'bak K'druz'ba D'gazh'dukh

Cockbill Street v Krytenia - Vimesbairn National
Maserrat v Nova Britannicus - K'haz'bak K'druz'ba D'gazh'dukh

Cockbill Street v Nova Britannicus - Vimesbairn National
Krytenia v Maserrat - K'haz'bak K'druz'ba D'gazh'dukh

Group B:

Sarzonia v Fmjphoenix - Vimesbairn Cricket Ground
The Gulf States v Legalese - Thatcher Road

Sarzonia v The Gulf States - Thatcher Road
Fmjphoenix v Legalese - Vimesbairn Cricket Ground

Sarzonia v Legalese - Vimesbairn Cricket Ground
Fmjphoenix v The Gulf States - Thatcher Road

Group C:

The Belmore Family v The Weegies - Belmorian International
Kylaai v Big Pimento - Flavento Stadium

The Belmore Family v Kylaai - Belmorian International
The Weegies v Big Pimento - Alan Belmore Tribute Stadium

The Belmore Family v Big Pimento - Belmorian International
The Weegies v Kylaai - Grippa International

Quarter-Finals (all in TBF)

1: A1 v B3/C3 - Flavento Stadium
2: B1 v A3/C3 - Winter Wonderstadium
3: C1 v B2 - Belmorian International
4: A2 v C2 - Grippa International

Semi-Finals
1: QF 1 v QF 3 - Vimesbairn National Stadium, Cockbill Street
2: QF 2 v QF 4 - Alan Belmore Tribute Stadium, The Belmore Family

Final @ Belmorian International

Preliminary schedule (subject to change)

Matchday 1: Tuesday 9 November (already scorinated)
Matchday 2: Thursday 11 November
Matchday 3: Saturday 13/Sunday 14 November (I'm away on Saturday)
Quarter-finals: Monday 15 November
Semi-finals: Wednesday 17 November
Final: Friday 19 November

Scores here due to my bedtime:

Group A:
Cockbill Street 0 Maserrat 1
Krytenia 1 Nova Britannicus 0

Group B:
Sarzonia 4 Fmjphoenix 0
The Gulf States 1 Legalese 2

Group C:
The Belmore Family 2 The Weegies 2
Kylaai 0 Big Pimento 2

They'll be TGed from MD2, I promise.

New Look Pimentos Unveil New Moniker

After the WC18 team Big Pimento sent to qualify for Bedistan/Eauz flopped so poorly, along with being the whipping boys of the AOCAF competition, F.A. officials went back to the drawing board to try to develop a new formula for success. The most important and most notable change is at the helm of the team, where the F.A. decided to hire noted authoritarian/psychopath, Karl Klune. Klune employs a military-like style of leadership over his players and is heavy on conditioning.

You make a mistake? You run a lap around the field.
You miss a tackle? You run a lap around the field.
You give Klune some lip? Oh baby, that's landing you at least three laps around the field as well as a swift kick in the ass.

Klune's been called a "cold-hearted dictator" by some of his former players, making many in the Land of the Pimentos question his appointment, but one thing you can't argue with is success and Klune has enjoyed plenty of it. Four Primera League titles in nine years with Karlsberg United, notably three in his last four will turn heads. Klune would still probably be under contract with Karlsberg, but he lost his job after beating a second official with his shoe following a botched offside call. The second official spent a week in hospital and Klune got slapped with a lifetime ban from the Pimento Primera League. But he's back with a vengance, and let's hope he can control and channel that competitve spirit into improving Big Pimento's team.

Big Pimento have never had a moniker, they've always been known as Big Pimento or "The Pimentos", much in the same way that we'd call people from Italy, "Italians" or people from France, "Frogs". However, after a string of heartbreaking results, no success and an ugly little incident involving a few waitresses in a Total n Utter Insanity club, the pundits are ready to brand Big Pimento's national team with a name. From this point forward, Big Pimento is to be known as the Futility Kings, honouring a soon to be time-honoured tradition of the nation's repeated failures in international football.

Many roster changes have also come about since World Cup qualification, with most player swaps reflecting a youth movement. Big Pimento clearly believe they can't get the job done now, and are willing to sacrifice in the results department for a bit to get some of their young guys some much needed international experience. We'll see how this works out down the line.

So we're clearly not expecting much from Big Pimento, they're too young and haven't had enough time to piss off Karl Klune to feel the full extent of his wrath, so they'll be lucky if they can steal a point or two. However, we weren't expecting much from them last time around either and they busted out upset after upset to net themselves a well-earned third place. The Futility Kings are known for their inconsistancy, so if they get inconsistant the good way for a string of a few matches, they may pull out a few surprises.

N.B. After threat of legal action from The Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38, this publication has decided to post its titles in no bigger than 4 point, emboldened font. This is a safety measures after our big blue title marking one of Big Pimento's rare wins tragically claimed the lives of a large number of SN38ers, destroying a few small villiages and a doghouse among other things in the process. In the wake of this tragedy we've decided to finally "calm the eff down" with the big blue titles, putting strict sanctions on the big part and completely illegalizing the blue. We encourage other nations to do the same and part ways with the big blue titles. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the families and friends of those whose lives were claimed as a result of our wreckless use of the big blue title.

OOC: Sweet! Two more matches at Vimesbairn, although Grubton served the chuckers better in the World Cup…
IC:
Newswire: Legalese starts out Cup of Harmony with 2-1 Win over The Gulf States
Upperborough, Cockbill Street: Whilst a shot at the World Cup Final was not in the cards for the Legalese Men’s National Team, a chance to hoist the Cup of Harmony is underway for the Black and Red so far. Legalese started off play with a 2-1 victory over The Gulf States. Scoring for Legalese were Jonny Lambert and Xavier Church. The result puts Legalese at 1-0 in Group B, with matches at Vimesbairn Cricket Ground upcoming versus Fmjphoenix, groupmates with Legalese in the Baptism of Fire, and Sarzonia, groupmates with Legalese in the World Cup XVIII Qualifier, and victim to Legalese’s first match a Legalese National Stadium.

Also on the Newswire: Legalese Supreme Court Justice Quentin J. Wharli requests a stronger prescription for his glasses, after reading the newswires from Big Pimento :p

Also on the Newswire: Legalese Supreme Court Justice Quentin J. Wharli requests a stronger prescription for his glasses, after reading the newswires from Big Pimento :p

OOC - Size 4 of course being Size 4 fourm size, which is about, This Big. :D

OOC - Size 4 of course being Size 4 fourm size, which is about, This Big. :D

OOC: Yes, yes, I know... not my fault his vision's that bad.

Oh, wait, it is...

Coach Dave Wilson announced the Sarzonian national team's roster for the 10th Cup of Harmony.

ROSTER (starters in bold)
GOALKEEPERS
30 Troy Perkins (Portland): At 25, Perkins is one of the more experienced goalkeepers in in international play. Has a solid lock on the starting job for as long as he wants it.
1 Mark Tanner (Portsmouth): Former mainstay on the Under 21 national team. Now that he’s 21, he’s the reserve keeper on the senior team.

DEFENDERS
2 Mike Coyle (Woodstock): Left back in the Wild's 3-5-2 alignment. Speedy defender who can make up for occasional lapses in positioning with sheer athleticism. Now 24, getting better with experience.
5 Corey Hemby (Internashionale - Starblaydia): Plays center back for Internashionale and is expected to step in for the retired Bryson Juergens. At 25, injects some youth into an aging position.
32 Emacio (Hallad Reavers - Starblaydia): Known as a tremendous offensive defender, signed with the Reavers after the Stars were eliminated from the World Cup. (24 years old)
35 Lance Alcina (Hallad): Plays right back for the Reavers. This 21 year old is a teammate of Emacio's so the two are familiar with each other.
14 William Jackson (Burlington Braves - minor league): Signed with the Braves after the nuclear destruction of Townshend. Provides good experience off the bench for the Stars. 31 years old.

MIDFIELDERS
21 Martin Overton (Richmond): Plays defensive midfield for Richmond, but can also join the attack in a pinch. Has played withdrawn forward at times when the club team was hit by injuries or suspensions. At 29 years old, takes over for the retiring Jeff Conley.
9 Darwin Russell: (Parkville F.C. - NEWI Cefn Druids):
Tremendous left-side player with a deadly accurate free kick from that side. Can be roughed up and taken out of his game. At 26 years old, is emerging as a star on the national side.
10 Bobby Convey (Woodstock): Easily the best playmaker in all of Sarzonia. Very experienced. Able to relate to all his teammates well. Frightening maturity at 24.
16 John Benmont (Portsmouth): Rugged right sided midfielder who has the skill of Convey or Russell and the toughness of former national teamer Conley. Adds a little more speed than former midfielder and current assistant coach Barry Owens had. 28 years old.
17 George Mitcham (Saugerties): Once known as Sarzonia's first foreign based player, now plays attacking midfield for the Snakes. Is playing like an all-star for the Snakes. This 29 year old scored a vital goal for the Stars in a previous World Cup qualifier.
33 Bronson Adelsen (Rochester): New addition to the national team, this 29 year old adds a rugged defensive presence to the team.
18 Taylor Williams (Rochester): Plays right halfback for the Rage but can also play midfield. Not much pure speed, but tremendous quickness and great smarts. (31 years old)

FORWARDS
22 Brian Wilson (Woodstock): Team captain. At 22, formerly the youngest player on the team, but has terrific skills for his age and great football awareness. His father is the national team's top assistant coach, so he often thinks like a coach on the pitch. Voted unanimously as team captain when Convey decided to step down from that role.
31 Barry Alphonso (Randolph Reavers): Can play either withdrawn forward or striker for his club team. Led the league with 22 goals last season and has led the league in goals scored two straight years. Set records for most goals in Joe Gibbs University's history as a four year starter. 27 years old.
32 Bruce Badger (Randolph): A supersub, Badger scored 13 goals, a league high for a player who was strictly a reserve on his club team in the SFC. Able to add some scoring punch in a pressure situation. Just turned 28.
19 Kenny Cooper (Tacoma): Now 21, he is the all-time leading goal scorer for the U21 national team. He figures to compete for playing time off the bench.

Stars fire burns 'Phoenix' 4-0

The Sarzonian national team took another step toward putting the disappointments and tragedies of the ninth Cup of Harmony tournament behind them tonight by notching an easy 4-0 win over Fmjphoenix at Vimesbairn Cricket Ground in the opening match of the 10th Cup of Harmony tournament.

Forward and team captain Brian Wilson scored two goals and assisted on both others, while goalkeeper Troy Perkins had an easy time of it, making three saves and facing only six shots the entire match. The Stars poured 21 shots on Fmjphoenix, with nine on net.

"It was good to get this tournament off to a good start," Coach Dave Wilson said. "It was especially nice to do that after the disaster at the last Cup of Harmony.

"I guess you could say it was a little poetic justice to win this match 4-0 when Big Pimento beat us 4-0 in the last group stage match at the last Cup of Harmony. Fortunately, we don't have to face Big Pimento again in the group round."

The Stars attacked almost from the opening kickoff, with midfielder Darwin Russell firing the first shot on net barely 30 seconds into the match. Even though the goalkeeper made a sprawling stop, the message was sent. The Stars would come out firing and atone for several disasters in their past.

"Gulf States beat us 4-0 in our first Cup of Harmony appearance," Brian Wilson said. "Legalese beat us the first time we faced them and it probably cost us a World Cup berth. We're going to be gunning for both the teams in our group."

If this match against Fmjphoenix was any indication, The Gulf States and Legalese will have their hands full with a motivated football team.

"Some of our pundits are saying that loss [to the Gulf States] was a fluke," Russell said. "We're still angry about that loss to Legalese. They're going to need all the legal help they can get when we get through with them."

Sarzonian attorney general Jonathan Cochrane will attend the match against Legalese.

Fmjphoenix looses opening match in Cup of Harmony, brings back shades of WC18

Fmjphoenix's loss to Sarzonia reminded the team of the 5-1 trouncing it took from Kaze Progressa in the opening round of World CUp 18. But this time, the Vikings are more upbeat.

"Just because we lost one, doesn't mean we won't come back and jump on the next guys we play" Coach Pulmore said after the defeat.

The Vikings will face a familiar foe tommorow at Vimesbairn Cricket Ground, Legalese, whome they defeated 3-2 in the BoF before WC18. Fans will be hoping for a repeat form the BoF against Legalese, and the Vikings seem prepped to deliver.

"We didn't do our jobs too well today," Captian Jorge Mendel said after the match, "but that is okay because tomorrow is another day to our jobs right!"

Tables after matchday 1 (for those too lazy to work them out):

Group 1 P W D L GF-GAPts
Krytenia 1 1 0 0 1-0 3
Maserrat 1 1 0 0 1-0 3
Cockbill Street 1 0 0 1 0-1 0
Nova Britannicus 1 0 0 1 0-1 0

Group 2 P W D L GF-GAPts
Sarzonia 1 1 0 0 4-0 3
Legalese 1 1 0 0 2-1 3
The Gulf States 1 0 0 1 1-2 0
Fmjphoenix 1 0 0 1 0-4 0

Group 3 P W D L GF-GAPts
Big Pimento 1 1 0 0 2-0 3
The Belmore Family 1 0 1 0 2-2 1
The Weegies 1 0 1 0 2-2 1
Kylaai 1 0 0 1 0-2 0

COCKBILL STREET DEPARTMENT OF SPORTS

OFFICIAL RELEASE

NEW G'IRGAH (NATIONAL MANAGER) SOUGHT

Qualifications for applicants:
1) Must not have any experience with math-logic devices
2) Must not have any positive experiences with System Karela
3) Must be able to win football matches with a half-decent team against abysmal teams such as Avenging Altos or Maserrat
4) Top domestic league or international experience preferred, but not required

Expectations of the G'irgah:
1) An absolutely awful team who can not work together must be able to qualify for the World Cup under your lead
2) Youth players should be phased into the team given that the current crop are not up to it
3) Must be able to work with directly evil officers in the department

Goalkeepers:

13. Jonathan Havell, aged 30, av rating 5.57, Colonial Sike (Vilita)
1. Stuart Underwood, aged 26, av rating 6.22, R'dhuz'lith K'druz'ba*

Defenders:

2. Harald Stronginthearm, aged 26, av rating 5.84, right/left back, CA Permanganate*
3. Lars Fearinciter, aged 30, av rating 5.90, left back/central defender, Likh'gokh K'druz'ba*
4. Dwarfclobberer, aged 21, av rating 5.80, sweeper/defensive midfielder, BC Dichromate
14.Benjamin Cribbage, aged 31, av rating 5.35, centre/left back, Roegrow Athletic
16.Trevor Jones, aged 28, av rating 5.99, central defender/defensive midfielder, Harewood FC*
21.Scott Walker, aged 29, av rating 6.11, left back, Suburbia Whites (Melmond)*
23.Daniel Carston, aged 18, av rating 5.79, central defender, Jotneheim Mountains AFC

Midfielders:

6. James Underwood, aged 33, av rating 5.77, central midfielder/left winger, Vimesbairn Athletic*
7. Thorgeirr Axewielder, aged 31, av rating 5.48, attacking midfielder/winger, Alan City FC (The Belmore Family)
8. Benjamin Keegan, aged 25, av rating 5.70, right winger, Vimesbairn United*
11.Nickel-carbide, aged 26, av rating 5.83, central midfielder/left winger, KI Lanthanate
19.Frederic Stewart, aged 24, av rating 5.66, attacking midfielder, Vimesbairn United
22.Olaf Heimfoething, aged 22, av rating 6.11, central/attacking midfielder, R'dhuz'lith K'druz'ba*
24.Paul Rankin, aged 26, av rating 5.91, right winger, KI Lanthanate (transferred from Chesham Rangers following their relegation)*

Attackers:

9. Olafur Olafsson, aged 30, av rating 6.01, forward, K'haz'bak K'druz'ba
10.Silicaceous-sulphate, aged 28, av rating 5.56, forward, Jotneheim Mountains AFC
17.Robert Stubbings, aged 28, av rating 6.19, striker, Roegrow Athletic*
18.Chalcedony, aged 28, av rating 5.98, striker, KI Lanthanate
20.Liam Wharton, aged 26, av rating 5.89, forward, Izh'no'got K'druz'ba*

Note: Ages of attackers are not completely accurate.

(OOC: Abysmal? That's a bit harsh, isn't it?)

Cockbill Street 0-1 Maserrat

After the disappointment of the World Cup, the Dinamos had to fly fast to reach Cockbill Street in time for their CoH clash. Another defeat looked to be on the cards in the eyes of the bookies, but Maserrat shocked one and all by coming away with all three points. A game that was destined to be totally one-sided ended up being anything but as Maserrat were first out of the traps, picking up on an early Streetian mistake to allow Ubuloy to tuck in his first (and not his last) goal in the tournament. Cockbill Street couldn't seem to find a way back, as Maserrat seemed to park the team bus in front of goal, reinforce with concrete, put barbed wire around the sides and place sentinels on guard for the rest of the game (metaphorically speaking). Karpova had this to say:

"We showed that we are able to compete at such a level as this today. We got the early goal and sat on it for the rest of the game, and who can blame us for that - Cockbill Street aren't the easiest opponents in the world. When you get a lead, you aim to maintain it, and that's what we did today."

The win puts them second in the group behind Krytenia, who beat Nova Brittanicus 1-0, and only needing victory in their next game against The Navy Blues to 'sail through' to the next stage.

Sarzonian national team assistant coach Barry Owens has applied for the position as Cockbill Street's G'IRGAH (national manager).

"I have served as an assistant coach for Stars Coach Bryan Marshall and now Coach Dave Wilson over the past two Cups and several international tournaments. We were tied for the best record among playoff-bound teams in World Cup 17 and our then-49th ranked national team forced overtime against a team that was ranked fifth in the world.

"We earned a 2-2 draw against top ranked Rejistania in which we were able to penetrate their defense and we scored three of the seven goals scored against Rejistania in group play. That speaks to our ability as coaches to motivate our players to face nearly impossible odds.

"As your g'irgah, I will put those motivational tactics to good use, combining some of the best features of my bosses, the late Bryan Marshall and current coach Dave Wilson, to forge a cohesive team that will contend in the future."

Ex-Audioslavia manager Lee Branson has been seen loitering around the CSFA headquarters in Vimesbairn. Although he only knows a handful of phrases in Streetian ('Where are the chips?', 'My word, i think that elf has stolen by toothpick' and 'That Havell is a big crap isnt he?') he is rumoured to be very interested in becoming the national manager of the Cockbill Street international side. Lee Branson's honours include taking Audioslavia to a world cup final, taking Audioslavia to a world cup final and getting to a world cup final with Audioslavia. He is also an ex-world cup finalist.

EDIT: This is Audioslavia btw, Dead Rockstars is meh puppet :)

Belmorians Sack Manager

For the 4th time in 10 years, the Belmorians are looking for a new manager as James Watson was fired last night. His awful 7th place finish was the worst ever achieved by a Belmorian. So who are the new candiadates? Well, Prime Minister Alan Belmore II is the main candidate! His famous role as a Chairman may now spill over into being a manager. He'll find it tough to hold down two jobs, but I'm sure he'll GODMOD his way through it somehow.

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST

Super Karim Goes Ballistic, NB Are Atrocious
(Apologies to The Sun, Disney, and Inverness Caledonian Thistle FC for the above headline)

KARIM Isserson was left beaming as the Celestials began their Cup Of Harmony campaign with victory over Starblaydian puppet, Nova Britannicus, in K'haz'bak K'druz'ba D'gazh'dukh. The result helped to erase memories of CoH VII twelve years ago, when Ed Bye's men lost five of their six games on home soil.

Four players were named in yesterday's team who played in that one victory (Poldov, Lydersen, Ulvæus and Smith), and all remembered the heartache of the competition. It was no surprise then that Krytenia's forward line made early advances, only a string of saves from the NB 'keeper stopping the mass of sky blue shirts. It was not to last though, and on 22 minutes, veteran Ari Smith broke through the defence, and though his shot was parried, Stephen Xousa pounced on the rebound to score the only goale of the game.

The victory ties Krytenia with Maserrat at the top of the table, and could go through with a victory over their next opponents - two time Harmony champions and co-hosts Cockbill Street. Isserson hopes he can guide the Celestials through.

KRYTENIA 1-0 NOVA BRITANNICUS
Scorer: Xousa 22

Super Karim Goes Ballistic, NB Are Atrocious

OOC: Sorry, couldn't resist.




Navy-Blues Play Crytainia and win
Some Team Called Nova Brittanicus lose to Krytenia, whoever the hell they are

Does nobody get on the right plane in international football these days? Nova Britannicus went off to face Krytenia, but found their team hotel had been taken over by a team from Nova Brittanicus, which is close, but no cigar.

So Nova Britannicus went off to play Crytania, and beat them 5-1. Hurrah. Word is that the Navy-Blues will be back in the correct country for the next match, and they also wish everyone would stop spelling their name incorrectly.



NEWS TICKER: Literacy in Krytenia down to all-time low. NB Spellchecker Goes Ballistic, Kry's Spelling is Atrocious.

Stars left fit to be tied

The Sarzonian national team swore it had all the motivation it needed when facing a team from The Gulf States that throttled it 4-0 in Sarzonia during the eighth running of the Cup of Harmony. They said they were confident they could all but clinch a spot in the quarterfinals.

However, Gulf States scored two goals in the final five minutes of the match to spoil a great outing by goalkeeper Troy Perkins and see the match end in a 2-2 draw.

"Our defense failed miserably in the last five minutes," a visibly angry Coach Dave Wilson said. "Troy was given absolutely no support out there and we now have to win our next match for a chance to get through to the next round."

The Stars (1-0-1, 4 points, first place Group B) started the match on a promising note, with midfielders Bobby Convey and Darwin Russell combining with forward Brian Wilson for both goals just 11 minutes into the match. Convey outhustled a Gulf States defender and sent an off-footed cross into the box where Brian Wilson sent a bicycle kick into the net for a 1-0 lead just three minutes in.

Russell tried to extend the lead with a header in the 11th minute, but when it bounced off the Gulf States goalkeeper, he skidded a pass across the six yard box to Brian Wilson, who tapped the ball in just under the goalkeeper's dive for the 2-0 lead.

"It was nice to get off to the good start, but we lost focus in the second half," Brian Wilson said. "We're going to have to play a much better game of football against Legalese this time out."

After Dave Wilson sent in defender William Jackson for Convey with the idea of tightening the defense, the move seemed to do just the opposite. Jackson was caught flat-footed when Gulf States' reserve striker deked past him and sprinted up the field, dribbling the ball through a stunned Stars defensive line. He sent a laser shot that left Perkins no chance to cut the Stars' lead in half in the 85th minute.

From there, defender Emacio was caught trying a fancy dribble and lost the ball to the Gulf States' playmaking midfielder. He then sent a perfect ball into the box toward the star forward, who headed the ball in past Perkins despite the Stars' arguments that he was offside.

"Whether he was offside or not isn't the issue," defender Corey Hemby said. "That's a ball we never should have let get that close to the goal."

"I should have stopped that," Perkins said. "We've got one more game we have to win now."


Group 2 P W D L GF-GAPts
Sarzonia 2 1 1 0 6-2 4
Legalese 2 1 1 0 5-4 4
The Gulf States 2 0 1 1 3-4 1
Fmjphoenix 2 0 1 1 3-7 1

Fmjphoenix meets familiar foe, draws up even

Legalese and Fmjphoenix have meet one time before. Last time it was Fmjphoenix winnings its first ever match in international play 3-2. This time around, Legalese found that one extra goal it could not get the first time around to pull a draw in Round 2 of the Cup of Harmony, 3-3.

It looked like it was going to be Fmjphoenix repeating history with Jorge Mendel and Mike Nolan leading the way, but Legalese found one more goal than it did last time.

Things are not looking well for Fmjphoenix, as they are sitting in a position they have not seen themselves in yet, last place. They must work hard and preserve in order to defeat TLC in the next match in order to not be in last place. Look for a ferocious attack to be lead by Nolan and Mendel and look to see Powel Lamar try to have a clean sheet and not let a goal by in an important match for the green and orange.

Stars want to keep 'Legal' appearance 'brief'

Fresh off a disappointing 2-2 draw to Gulf States, the Sarzonian national team began preparations for the final Group B match of the qualifying stage against Legalese with revenge on the mouths of nearly every player.

"That match probably cost us the World Cup bid," Coach Dave Wilson said. The eighth seeded Legalese team defeated the fourth seeded Stars 5-2 in the first meeting between the teams and the Stars ended up finishing two points out of the third and final playoff position in Group 8. "We're going to get after them pretty good."

The Stars' practice session was crisp and physical, with defender Mike Coyle and midfielder Bobby Convey getting into a scuffle at one point during the match. After practice, both men said the fight was behind them.

"That's just what happens sometimes when you have two competitors going at it," Coyle said. "You get into it and sometimes one thing leads to another."

"That can happen from time to time," Convey said. "You should see [four time SFC champion Woodstock] Wild practices. Not one goes by without some sort of fight."

The Stars spent extra time working on their defense, particularly when they substitute a midfielder for defender William Jackson. Jackson was considered by some pundits to be the culprit on the first goal of the Gulf States' comeback to finish the match 2-2.

"We've been working on tightening things up defensively," sweeper Corey Hemby said. "[Right back Lance Alcina] and I have been spending extra time breaking down film of that match."

The Stars (1-0-1, four points, first place in Group B) can advance if they finish in second place or with the best goal differential among third place teams. But the Stars are looking to take the easy way into the knockout rounds.

"We don't want to back into the knockout round. We want to bull our way into it," Convey said. "And if we have to run over Legalese, so be it."

Sarzonian attorney general Jonathan Cochrane (http://www.cochranfirm.com/images/home-johnniecochran.jpg) said he and his office staff would be in attendance in the event Legalese supporters tried to pass a myriad of laws to frustrate Sarzonians.

"If you affect the game, we'll be there to maim," Cochrane said.

Third-Place Curse Strikes Again!

Okay, it hasn't happened yet, but it seems the most likely solution after yesterday's 3-2 defeat to Nova Brittanicus. This result has left Maserrat and the Navy Blues battling for second, with Maserrat (once again) facing the harder challenge to get there. The Dynamos face Krytenia next, who have won both their games so far and don't look like relinquishing that perfect record just yet. NB on the other hand face Cockbill Street, who have lost both games so far and don't look like relinquishing that perfect record either. Once again, it seems that Maserrat are doomed to finish in third, a fate that seemed to lie only in the U21 tournament, but appears to be creeping its way elsewhere now.

However, there is still a major chance that Maserrat can get through. Two of the three third place teams make it through to the quarter finals, and Maserrat's goal record of 3 scored, 3 conceded is better than some. Of course, many would prefer to see the Dynamos through in first or second, but in the end, it doesn't matter as long as they DO IT, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, DO IT!!!!!

Maserrat 1-1 Krytenia

It was a result that everybody wanted but few really expected. People were getting ready for another thrid place finish, but all were shocked when, amazingly, results went the Dynamos way. The draw coupled with Cockbill Street's victory over Nova Brittanicus sees Maserrat through in second place, where they will face the second-placed team in Group C. This team is yet unknown, but it is one of The Belmore Family, Kylaai, The Weegies and Big Pimento. The only team out of these four that Maserrat have met before is Kylaai, twice in the WC18 qualifiers that led to them being in this competition. Honours are currently even, with both sides having a 1-0 victory over the other to their name. Regardless of who they play, Maserratians will just be glad to have got past the group stage. More importantly, it will improve their rankings for the next World Cup, and give them a better chance of making the finals. Can they go all the way now that they are in the final eight? Watch this space...

Matchday 2
Cockbill Street 0 Krytenia 1
Maserrat 2 Nova Britannicus 3
Sarzonia 2 The Gulf States 2
Fmjphoenix 3 Legalese 3
The Belmore Family 6 Kylaai 4
The Weegies 2 Big Pimento 0

Matchday 3
Cockbill Street 4 Nova Britannicus 1
Maserrat 1 Krytenia 1
Sarzonia 3 Legalese 2
Fmjphoenix 2 The Gulf States 1
The Belmore Family 1 Big Pimento 1
The Weegies 1 Kylaai 2

Tables:
Group 1 P W D L GF-GAPts
Krytenia 3 2 1 0 3-1 7
Maserrat 3 1 1 1 4-4 4
Cockbill Street 3 1 0 2 4-3 3
Nova Britannicus 3 1 0 2 4-7 3

Group 2 P W D L GF-GAPts
Sarzonia 3 2 1 0 9-4 7
Legalese 3 1 1 1 7-7 4
Fmjphoenix 3 1 1 1 5-8 4
The Gulf States 3 0 1 2 4-6 1

Group 3 P W D L GF-GAPts
The Belmore Family 3 1 2 0 9-7 5
The Weegies 3 1 1 1 5-4 4
Big Pimento 3 1 1 1 3-3 4
Kylaai 3 1 0 2 6-9 3

Quarter Finals:
1: Krytenia v Big Pimento-Flavento Stadium
2: Sarzonia v Fmjphoenix-Winter Wonderstadium
3: The Belmore Family v Legalese-Belmorian International
4: Maserrat v The Weegies-Grippa International

Semis:
Krytenia/Big Pimento Vs The Belmore Family/Legalese -Vimesbairn National Stadium, Cockbill Street
Sarzonia/Fmjpheonix Vs Masserrat/The Weegies - Alan Belmore Tribute Stadium, The Belmore Family

It's all hotting up, Good Luck to all (except perhaps Legalese [j/k])!

Stars win group, face quarters rematch

The Sarzonian national team played the third and final group stage match against a Legalese side it faced twice in World Cup qualifying still steaming from the 5-2 loss it suffered at the hands of Legalese. It got two goals from forward Brian Wilson and one from midfielder Darwin Russell and won in dramatic fashion, 3-2.

"That was another match that was a lot closer than it should have been," Coach Dave Wilson said. "We're definitely relieved to be essentially the top seed in the knockout stages, but that was a tough way to get there."

The Stars jumped out to an early lead just nine minutes in when Brian Wilson ran onto a long ball by midfielder Bobby Convey and slotted the ball into the net for a 1-0 lead. Russell made the lead 2-0 just four minutes later when he blasted a free kick over the Legalese wall and past the attempted dive of the goalkeeper.

However, Legalese was far from out of it, getting a goal in the 44th minute with an expert move by the team's star striker and blasting the goal past goalkeeper Troy Perkins for a 2-1 Sarzonian lead at halftime.

Legalese equalized in the 54th minute when the team's top playmaking midfielder juked past defender Mike Coyle and caught Perkins unprepared for his one-time bid.

"We came so close to a disappointing result," Perkins said. "I'm glad Brian was able to pick the rest of the team up."

The Stars face Group B third place side Fmjphoenix in the first match of the quarterfinals with Dave Wilson warning the team not to take the team lightly in spite of an easy 4-0 win to start the tournament.

"This is a totally different match we're going to face," Dave Wilson said. "We need to pick the intensity back up to what it was when we started this tournament. So far we haven't that the rest of this tournament."

Fmjphoenix still feeling intense after win, ready for Sarzonia challenge

This is the time for the Vikings to step their game up and produce for eager fans. With Mike Nolan and Jorge Mendel each putting one in the net in a well earned win over The Gulf States 2-1.

The Vikings have revenge on their mid for an embarresing 4-0 defeat from Sarzonia in the opening of the CoH. They plan on playing more than 100% and going all out to make sure they can win and advance on. They finished 3rd in Group B, and looked all but dead after that match with Sarzonia, but with a draw and win, they still advance and get to show the life they still have.

"We are far from being dead and done in the Cup of Harmony," Coach Wash said during a practice, "We will prove to people that we are going to be a tough competetor and not give up ever. We know we can play and win against anyone, all our coaching staff has been doing is getting it into their heads. Once these guys realize they can compete with anyone, then they will be the best!"

Look for hell to break loose in Cockbill Street's Winter Wonderstadium. There will be tons of action going back and forth, but look for the opertunistic Vikings to jump on any mistakes or advantages it can to win.

Stars prepare for Vikings raid

The Sarzonian national team began the final stages of preparations for their second match against Fmjphoenix in four days by fine-tuning their defense after two shaky performances. The team is hoping to regain some swagger on its backline after a disappointing finish to the AOCAF tournament by the second choice national side and by the Under 21 national team.

"We need to tighten up defensively and that's across the board," Coach Dave Wilson said. "We've allowed teams to climb back into matches after we should have put them away. That's not how good teams operate."

Wilson was especially irked about Sarzonia's last match against Legalese, in which the Stars blew a 2-0 lead and didn't clinch the group until forward Brian Wilson scored in stoppage time toward the end of the second half. He said the team "lost focus" after taking the 2-0 lead and came out flat to start the second half.

"We didn't play a full 90 minute game," Brian Wilson said. "We played well early and late, but we struggled in the middle of the match. We almost had to play one of the host countries in a quarterfinal because we didn't have a killer instinct."

The Stars said they're expecting the Vikings to bring their best match and are readying themselves to play "Sarzonian football" to ensure that they advance past the quarterfinal stage for the first time.

"We're going in expecting them to take their best shots at us," midfielder Darwin Russell said. "We need to be able to match, if not exceed, their intensity or it might be a short appearance in the knockout stages."

Maserrat Expects...Nothing!

Maserrat face The Weegies in their quarter finals clash, and although there has been no word from the opponents yet, Karpova is expecting a tough match ahead.

"I feel that whenever we make the effort we end up being disappointed. Our luck has to change sometime, and there's no better place to start than here. If we can win tonight, or whenever it is we play, we may be able to go all the way. It's happened before - who's to say it can't happen again!"

If somehow Maserrat do survive the next match, they face either Sarzonia or Fmjphoenix in the semis, and we can expect a lot of support for the team if they get that far. However, for this game not many people are expecting a win. Disappointment seems to be the national story at the moment, and the quarter finals may just be an anti-climax waiting to happen.

Vikings working hard in preperation for Stars

The Fmjphoenix national team has been working extremly hard in preperation for their Quarter-Finals match against Sarzonia. The Vikings are hoping to advance in the quarter-finals for the first time in both the CoH and any tournament they played in yet to date. They have been knocked out in the first round of the PreWC18-BoF, UC21WC18, and did not qualify in the WC18.

"I have not worked so hard before, and I think our hardship in preparing ourselfs for this is showing. We have been becoming a great team together, and I think this might be our time to advance." Goalkeeper Powel Lamar told reporters.

In oder to advance, the green-oranges must capitolize on their momentum from a good win over TLC before the quarter-finals and also jump on Sarzonia's defenders and make them run all over to try and keep up with their faster players on the team. Expect to see lots of passing around before shots as they try to wear down the Stars early on.

"If we can tire them out while keeping our guys a little fresh, we will have an advantage" Ex-Forward and now coach Mariano Rodriquez said, "If their guys are not moving at their fastest and we are, there is no telling what we can do!"

"We are bringing it all, and then some" Coach Accrew said, "If we don't bring it all, then we won't win. Simple as that. These guys are too good to just play half a match and expect a win. You will see a rought and tough game down the the very end, that I garuntee."

Don: Welcome to another edition of Soccer Night in Legalese. I’m Don Donaldson.

Jim: and I’m Jim Jameson. We have a full weekend of coverage for our fans, right Don?

Don: Of course, Jim. As you saw earlier here on LSPN, the Black and Red took on Sarzonia, falling just barely, with a 3-2 loss. However, with a 1-1-1 record, the Black and Red will still advance to the knockout phase of the Cup of Harmony. Standing in their way to the title will be The Belmore Family, co-hosts with Cockbill Street. How do you see this one shaking down, Jim?

Jim: Glad you asked, Don. The Black and Red clearly look to be coming together, after a tough go in the World Cup Qualifiers. Helping this fact, no less, was the chance to take on two opponents which they can claim to be familiar with, in Fmjphoenix and Sarzonia. What should complicate matters for the Legalites will be their opposition this time, the Belmorians. Going into Belmorian International will be a difficult feat in itself. Coming out with a win will be a great accomplishment for the Black and Red.

Don: Well, they appear to feel as if they can pull it off. Manager Robbie Heard was nothing but optimistic at the press conference earlier, as he announced the starting eleven for the match.

Jim: Well, how could he be disappointed? This team, despite a close loss to Sarzonia, is clearly on the up-and-up. Their chances of making the Semifinal look to be much better than anyone expect.

Don: Now, it’s time to take a break here on Soccer Night. Coming up, we have a moving story from our correspondent John Jackson, about the poor tale of M. Robert Rapture, a man who took his love of the game a touch too far…

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST

Pimentos Not So Hot

MARCHING on: That's Krytenia after their impressive victory over Big Pimento. Although on paper it should have been a none too difficult victory for the Celestials, the Pimentos are no pushovers, and Krytenia worked hard to make this game their own.

Big Pimento started well, but were unable to make the most of their early possession, only Boris Valentine coming close to troubling Vernazza. As is always the case in these situations, the first goal came against the run of play. Ian Valacci marked his full debut with a wonderful tacke to dispossess Jong-Il, and his long clearance bounced into the path of Acienko Rimmer. The young talent made no mistake, burying the ball into the top right corner.

Krytenia quicly built on this momentum, and began to dominate. The Pimentan defence were unable to fully clear their lines, and it was the turn of the man of the moment to make his name. The corner was expertly swung in by Eddie Moliano, and Valacci ghosted in at the near post to make the score two-nil.

Big Pimento pulled a goal back on the hour, but the result was never in doubt. The nature of Krytenia's third goal, though, was simply sublime. A great run from Cecil Poldov led to a good cross, and though Selecao cleared the ball with a thumping header, it fell to sub Alex Cujetkovic thirty yards out. His first time volley whizzed through the crowd and into the back of the net, leaving even the Belmorians in the crowd stunned.

Three-one the final score then, and Krytenia advance to the semi-finals. There they shall meet either the co-hosts of The Belmores, or the up-and-coming Legalese.
"We've made it this far, and as long as we play as we have in the previous four games, I seriously think we could win this competition."

KRYTENIA 3-1 BIG PIMENTO
Scorers: Rimmer 14, Valacci 23, Cujetkovic 71

Big Score in Belmore
Legalese advances on penalties, with ball seeing back of the net 23 times

Belmorian International Stadium, The Belmore Family

The old adage is that offense wins games, but defense wins champions. Today at Belmorian International, the Black and Red advanced with a stepping up of both, surviving a 4-4 result, to take the win in penalties by a scoreline of 8-7.

The scores started early, as Jack Smythe contributed in the 4th minute. Unfortunately, that was followed by a defensive breakdown, with the Belmorians equalizing in the 10th minute. Legalese would end up falling down by a goal in the 23rd minute, only to return the favor in the 35th minute, with Carlos Manchev recording the tally.

Disaster seemed to strike for Legalese early in the second half. In the 54th minute, a corner kick, followed by a loose ball in the box, had goalkeeper Tommy Walters crashing into the goalpost, rendering him dazed. Upon checking on his condition, Manager Robbie Heard chose to bring in former u21 goalkeeper Mark Dasherson, but decided not to pull Walters completely. While he was checked up on the sideline, for a possible return, Legalese played with 10 men, as Robbie Kristhofer came out for Dasherson. At this point, the Legalites shifted to a 3-4-2 formation, from their standard 3-5-2.

A shaky Dasherson seemed to be a problem, as The Belmore Family quickly nailed two more goals, leading 4-2, but he quickly regained his composure, recording 7 saves on 10 shots. A frantic effort up front from Smyth and Jonny Lambert proved fruitful, as both would score in the last 10 minutes, to bring the score even at 4. A scoreless extra time ensued, with a surprise in the 120th (and final) minute. Tommy Walters, who had been sitting in the technical area in consult with team doctors, re-entered the pitch, wearing a field player’s shirt, bearing his number 1. It appeared that Legalese planned to use both keepers in the penalty phase.

Legalese, who shot first, set Smyth, Kris Trewands, Lambert, Yakov Niedermeyer, and Manachev as the first five, with Dasherson staying in the goal. Conversions by Smyth and Trewands were matched by the Belmorians. After Lambert’s shot was barely saved, TBF scored, taking a 3-2 lead. Niedermeyer and Manachev would both score, bringing it down to TBF’s last shooter, who missed wide right.

With the score tied at 4 after five shots, the teams were forced down to their remaining players. Earl Smith, Mike Watson, and Phil Templar would all score, with the Belmorians equalizing the results. A Frederick Francis miss would put the Black and Red on edge, but a Dasherson save kept Legalese alive.

With all the true field players gone, Robbie Heard had to choose between Walters or Dasherson to take the next shot. He chose Walters, who firmly placed the ball in the lower left corner, for an 8-7 lead to Legalese. Surprisingly, Walters was not done. He removed his jersey, revealing a red t-shirt, bearing his number, underneath. While he was originally cautioned for removing his jersey, the booking was rescinded after Walters’s true intent was found: he was substituting for Dasherson in the goal, hoping to take matters in his own hands.

The Belmore Family lined up their tenth shooter, who fired a laser to the upper right corner. Walters dived, pulling the ball in, only to be instantly mobbed by the Legalese XI. The final was 4(8)-4(7).

Legalese will now take on Krytenia in the semifinal, returning to Vimesbairn, Cockbill Street.

Stars streak past Vikings, 5-2

The Sarzonian national team prepared for its quarterfinals match against Fmjphoenix by looking at game tapes, including their Cup of Harmony opening 4-0 win over the Vikings in the group stage. They used that to their advantage, tying a national team record for goals scored in a game and cruised into the semifinals, winning 5-2.

Goalkeeper Troy Perkins injured his left ankle with just eight minutes to go in the first half, forcing Coach Dave Wilson to send inexperienced backup Mark Tanner with the Stars leading 3-0. An MRI revealed no break and doctors diagnosed a Grade 1 sprain. Perkins was limping slightly after the match, but said he expects to start the semifinal match.

"It hurt worse last night right after [the injury] happened," Perkins said. "I'll probably get a cortisone shot and get back out there tomorrow."

"We're going to try to make sure the best man goes for us," Wilson said. "Whether that's Troy or Mark remains to be seen."

The offense, which has been one of the best in the Cup of Harmony this time around, made things easy for Perkins and Tanner. Goals by midfielders Bobby Convey and Darwin Russell, forwards Barry Alphonso and Kenny Cooper, and defender Mike Coyle combined with a defense that only allowed six shots on goal by the Vikings to send the Stars through to the semifinals of the Cup of Harmony for the first time.

"We've still got a job ahead of us," forward and team captain Brian Wilson said. "Our work is by no means done."

[OOC: Perkins will start with a cortisone shot making him feel ready to go. If he's shaky at all, Dave Wilson will send Tanner in.]

EMBARRASSED
Suspected F1><0R1NA710N sends Streetians out

After losing two of two opening matches by the solitary goal, the Streetians had to beat Nova Britannicus at the National to secure qualification. And it should be so easy. After all, Nova Britannicus seems to live by the maxim "gracious in defeat, sporting in victory" - except that they never got past the first part of the saying.

And the Streetians dominated from the word go. Finally managing to rid themselves of the Karela curse imprinted by the Rejistani-produced Hexatux, which set the development of Streetian football back almost twenty years, the Streetians attacked on the wings as usual, as James Underwood showed flashes of the brilliance that had been so unused up to now. With a perfectly weighted cross from the goal-line, he set up Liam Wharton's one-nil goal in the eleventh minute.

With Axewielder being confined to the bench, Olaf Heimfoething had to take up the mantle as attacking midfielder, and he did so in style - scoring the second goal as Nova Britannicus disintegrated in the second half. A couple more from substitute striker Chalcedony sealed the game, and although Rupert Porpington-Smythe (the Brits all seem to be named that) scored a consolation goal in the 91st minute, little did it help. Cockbill Street were dominant.

However, their first two losses would prove too costly. Despite a positive goal difference, which would have seen them through if only Krytenia had done their job against Maserrat, that didn't happen - Maserrat managed a draw as they rolled the ball for the last twenty minutes. With The Belmore Family drawing Big Pimento 1-1 as well - a win for the Belmores would have sent the Streetians through as best second side - and Fmjphoenix beating The Gulf States, the Streetians yet again suffered the agony of defeat - but this time on home soil.

COCKBILL STREET 4 (Wharton 11, Heimfoething 61, Chalcedony 81, 87)
NOVA BRITANNICUS 1 (Chalcedony 91)

It is rumoured that the Streetian Department of Sport will reveal their choice of manager tonight. Bribes, oops, I mean voluntary donations to help the cause of Streetian sports, are generously taken by Helen Carpenter at the back door.

[OOC: Who am I facing in the semis?]

Quarter-Final results:

1: Krytenia 3 Big Pimento 1-Flavento Stadium
2: Sarzonia 5 Fmjphoenix 2-Winter Wonderstadium
3: The Belmore Family 4 Legalese 4 (7-8 after penalties)-Belmorian International
4: Maserrat 1 The Weegies 2-Grippa International (I'd appreciate if either party could confirm this, I'm fairly sure the Weegies won but can't remember the actual results...and I deleted the slani output file...)

Semi-Final schedule:

Krytenia v Legalese @ Vimesbairn National
Sarzonia v The Weegies @ ABT Stadium

Please also note for future reference that Streetians add the goals in penalty shoot-outs to the score after extra-time when they report results. Just an odd quirk we have.

Stars, Perkins ready for 'Wee' challenge

The Sarzonian national team began the final training session for their Cup of Harmony semifinal match against the Weegies not sure if they would be facing life without goalkeeper Troy Perkins. Perkins suffered a Grade 1 sprain of his left ankle with eight minutes remaining in the first half of Sarzonia's 5-2 victory over Fmjphoenix.

Trainer John Tyer announced that Perkins would be fit to start the semifinal match barring an aggravation of the injury.

"Troy looks ready to go. It was a mild sprain and [Coach Dave] Wilson pretty much took him out as a precaution."

"I feel better on it today. It's a little sore, but I think I can manage," Perkins said. "I'll wear a brace on the ankle and we got a specially made boot for my left foot so that it's not uncomfortable. Plus I got a cortisone shot."

The Stars aren't planning any other lineup changes for the semifinal match against the Weegies, though Wilson spent the first half of the training session focusing on defense. The team has allowed an average of 1.5 goals per game in the four matches they've played in the Cup of Harmony thus far.

"That figure has to go down," Wilson said. "We've done very well offensively [3.5 goals per match], but defense is what wins Cups. We need our defense to play well in the next match to go on to the final."

If Perkins can't go, Mark Tanner would start in goal for the team. It would be his second start for the senior national team since the eighth match day of World Cup 18, when the team shut out Northbank 3-0. Tanner was a mainstay on the Under 21 national team that advanced to the knockout stages in consecutive Under 21 World Cups.

"We have confidence in Troy and Mark," defender Corey Hemby said. "Whoever's back there is going to do the job."

Stars 'wedge' way into final, 1-0

Despite Coach Dave Wilson's announcements to the contrary, no one knew until just before kickoff who the starting goalkeeper for the Sarzonian national team would be. When Troy Perkins jogged out to his position at the north goal in ABT Stadium, it was as much of a surprise to the Stars players as it was to the Weegies.

Perkins made five saves, two of them of the point blank variety, and the Stars made Darwin Russell's 19th minute penalty kick hold up and sent the team to the finals of the Cup of Harmony with a 1-0 win.

"Troy was held out of warmups as a precaution," Wilson said. "We didn't want to risk him getting hurt in warmups and not have a backup keeper. The way he played last night, I don't think he needed it."

"I just did a little stretching in the locker room and I felt good enough to go," Perkins said. "The ankle wasn't feeling great, but I didn't expect it to be perfect. It was a semifinal and I needed to be out there."

The Stars called up goalkeeper John Bartlett from the "B" team to serve as an emergency backup, but he didn't arrive until well after the second half kickoff. It turned out the Stars didn't need him.

Sarzonia took the play to the Weegies early on, testing the Weegies defense with several runs into the centre of the backline and with shots from 20 to 25 yards out. Midfielder Bobby Convey tried to sky for a header but was fouled in the box when the referee called for a penalty kick. Russell talked forward and team captain Brian Wilson into taking the kick, saying he wanted the match on his shoulders.

"When I saw the look in Darwin's eyes, I just had to let him shoot it," Brian Wilson said. "He had a look of determination like I haven't seen from him in a while."

The Stars prepare for their first final since the 16th Baptism of Fire Cup final, in which the Stars defeated Jonestan 3-0 to capture the first title in national team history. Regardless of the opponent, it will be a familiar foe to these Stars.

Legalese faced Sarzonia twice in World Cup qualifying, defeating the Stars 5-2 in the opener for the country's national stadium and losing 3-0 in the return leg. The Stars defeated Legalese 3-2 in the final match of group play in this Cup of Harmony.

Krytenia's senior national team faced the Stars twice when it was in the Atlantian Oceania region with Sarzonia. The Celestials defeated Sarzonia 2-0 in the final match of group play, but lost to the Stars 3-1 in the third place match. The under 21 national team faced the Junior Stars in the fourth Under 21 World Cup, losing 4-2 in the Sarzonian team's international debut and defeating them 4-2 in the second round in the fifth Under 21 World Cup.

"Neither team's going to be a stranger to us," Convey said. "We're very familiar with Legalese now and we know exactly what to expect from them. Krytenia isn't as familiar on the pitch, but their game tapes brought back a lot of memories.

"If it's Krytenia, they're facing a very different Stars team from the last time we played them."

Don: And do we have a big story for you tonight! I don’t think we’ve witnessed anything like this in Legalese Soccer History!

Jim: Well Don, Legalese Soccer History only spans about two years, so I’m not too surprised by your comment. That said, this was a spectacular match for the Black and Red, riding a 2-2 match into extra time, equalizing Krytenia’s early result in the 119th minute, and then conversions by Smythe, Lambert, Trewands, and Manachev.

Don: Let’s go to the tape, for those who missed it.
*highlights start up, with Don’s commentary*
Don: We start in the 35th minute. A back and forth game so far, here is where Krytenia attempted to break loose. A long run leads to a 1-0 deficit for the Black and Red.

Now in first half stoppage time… Smythe dribbles out to the end line, and crosses the ball back into traffic. A lunging volley by Kris Trewands puts the ball in the back of the net! Tie game at 1.

A goal by Krytenia in the 55th minute put Legalese back down, but a hard charge by Jonny Lambert draws a foul in the penalty area. Lambert lines up for the kick, and converts it, to bring the result even at 2!

Now to extra time, less than five minutes in. Krytenia breaks a man lose, and it’s Eddie Moliano with the score, putting the Legalites on the ropes.

14 minutes later, a set piece from the corner. Tommy Walters is pushing up himself, hoping to score again, but it is not necessary. Kris Rodd flicks it out to Carlos Manachev, who rocks home the game tying goal.

Legalese would follow up in the penalty phase, with four goals on four shots, to send the Black and Red to the finals of the Cup of Harmony, in their first attempt! Any comments, Jim?

Jim: Yes, Don. This has been an amazing run for the Black and Red so far, and there’s no reason for them to not think they can’t take the cup home with them, but it will be a difficult final, for sure. Sarzonia and Legalese are starting to develop a history, with Sarzonia winning 3-0 and 3-2 results over the Black and Red in past action. Legalese, however, nailed their first win, at the opening of Legalese National, against this Sarzonian squad. This truly could come down to who makes the most of their chances.

Don: Thank you Jim. We will be back, with more from Cockbill Street, here on LSPN.

Stars face another Legal battle

When the Group B listings were announced, few in Sarzonia expected the national team to face two of those opponents in the knockout rounds, but thanks to a scheduling quirk and some interesting bounces, the Stars will face Legalese in a rematch of the final match of the qualifying round with much more at stake.

This time, the Stars will battle the Black and Red for the right to hoist football's consolation trophy, the Cup of Harmony.

"This isn't the stage we wanted to be on, but when you have a chance to play for a final, you want to win it," Coach Dave Wilson said. "Especially if it's against the team that cost you a trip to the World Cup."

The Stars are preparing for their fourth meeting with Legalese in this World Cup cycle, having lost the first-ever match between these teams 5-2 in Group 8 of World Cup qualifying. The Stars earned revenge by beating the Black and Red 3-0, but the Stars ended up missing out on the World Cup by two points.

"If we win that match against Legalese, we're in the [World Cup], midfielder Darwin Russell said. "We haven't forgotten about that."

To make sure the Stars didn't forget, Wilson showed the team the tape of Legalese's win over the Stars. He also played angry callers into radio talk shows throughout Sarzonia and sports commentators who called the Stars every name in the book after the loss.

"I wanted to make them angry," Wilson said. "I want us to get out there and play as if we're playing [regional rivals] Xile or Starblaydia."

The fact the teams are facing each other once again in such a short span of time suggests a new rivalry for the Stars, a fact that caused midfielder Bobby Convey to warn the team not to be complacent and expect to walk all over Legalese for one additional reason.

"They're a much better football team than they were when they started the last World Cup," Convey noted. "The fact they're in the final here tells you they're a good football team. We need to play Sarzonian football to make sure that we don't end up losing to them again."

The Stars have asked the Cockbill Street football federation for permission to have Sarzonia's attorney general Jonathan Cochrane (http://www.cochranfirm.com/images/home-johnniecochran.jpg) sit on the team bench for the match, citing the expected stream of lawyers trying to change Sarzonian code.

"We have to be ready, so I can keep things steady," Cochrane said.

Ms. Carpenter,

I am writing concerning Sarzonia's intent to add attorney general Jonathan Cochrane to the list of technical staff membership for the final of the Tenth Cup of Harmony. Legalese respectfully objects to allowing such, pursuant to Addendum II to the Laws of the Game, concerning the technical area. As the relevant portion of Law states, “the coach and other occupants of the technical area must behave in a responsible manner.” Since the goal of Mr. Cochrane’s placement in the technical area is being done in a manner as to provide an outside legal challenge to the match, which is clearly not for the good of the game.

Thank you for your consideration. We are awaiting word on this matter.

Yours,

Miguel Carnalejo
Executive Director
Legalese Association Football Confederation

(OOC to Sarzonia: :p )

Ms. Carpenter,

I am writing in response to the Legalese attempt to prevent Attorney General Jonathan Cochrane from being on the bench for the Cup of Harmony final. Nowhere in our request did we indicate any attempt to add Mr. Cochrane to the technical staff. We merely require his presence in the event of stampeding lawyers trying to change Sarzonian code, a tactic that is often applied by Legalese in their attempts to wreak havoc on a sporting opponent.

I submit to you this: Having thousands of lawyers streaming the pitch to change legal codes is hardly a "responsible manner." I find it ironic that Legalese accuses Mr. Cochrane of behaving in an irresponsible manner when they have never met Mr. Cochrane and thus would have no way of knowing whether or not he would conduct himself with the professionalism incumbent upon a member of President Mike Sarzo's Cabinet.

I await your response to my letter.

Charles Dean "Buddy" Landry
Commissioner
Sarzonian Football Confederation

[OOC to Legalese: :p back at ya!]

Ms. Carpenter,

In response to Sarzonia's response, I'd like to point out the following:

-Legalese has admittedly had a problem in the past with hooliganism. However, this "past problem" was only the result of a sad incident in Rejistania, in Legalese's first World Cup Qualifier in history.

-Since the incident above, Legalese has taken a rigid course of action, including a travel banishment for those who were suspected of hooliganism, during the remainder of the World Cup Qualifiers.

-During the u21 World Championships, the travel ban was lifted. However, in its place, were a series of laws and restrictions on the Legal Eagles supporters club, in order to allow them to support our teams abroad. As part of these restrictions, any member of the Legal Eagles found to have committed an act of hooliganism shall have their passport permanently revoked, with a likelihood of fines and other punishment.

-Since above restrictions were taken, there has not been a problem with fans of any sport. You were a witness of that yourself, as the hosts of the INSCC World Cup, which we still are in gratitude to you for hosting.

-Lastly, the head of the Legal Eagles changed his name to Margaret. How can you punish that dedication?

You have my assurance that any Legalese lawyers entering the pitch (other than those who are playing for the MNT) will be dealt with accordingly, as it is not for the good of the game. However, introducing lawyers to the technical area, as Sarzonia wishes to do with Mr. Cochrane, is also not for the good of the game.

Thank you for your consideration.

Yours,

Miguel Carnalejo
Executive Director
Legalese Association Football Confederation

Ms. Carpenter,

In response to the most recent letter from Mr. Carnalejo, I believe it is necessary to make the following points:

1) The onslaught of lawyers onto the Rejistani pitch has proven that Legalese can not be trusted to discipline its own supporters and prevent their attempts to modify Sarzonian codes.

2) Mr. Cochrane has no intentions of becoming part of the technical area by occupying a seat on the sideline. He merely wishes to have a better vantage point in which to watch the match, and also serve as a preventive measure to ensure that a gaggle of rampaging lawyers doesn't invade the pitch to shout "objection" or attempt to cross examine goalkeeper Troy Perkins or midfielder Bobby Convey.

3) I am still confused by the implication that just because Mr. Cochrane would be seated on the team bench, he would not behave in a "responsible manner." What evidence does Mr. Carnalejo have to support such a serious claim? Our dealings with the attorney general have shown him to be a man beyond reproach in his dealings with the responsibilities of his office. Quite frankly, these accusations are insulting.

4) I welcome the dedication of the Legal Eagles fan changing his name to Margaret. However, I fail to see how that would have any impact on the possibility of stampeding lawyers invading the pitch. I would like reassurances that you can prevent such an occurence from happening again.

Awaiting your response,

Charles Dean "Buddy" Landry
Commissioner
Sarzonian Football Confederation

[OOC: This may not win any awards for the BEST CoH final, but it might be in contention for most amusing! :p]

Ms. Carpenter (or Helen, if you prefer),

In response to Sarzonia's response of my response:

1) Sarzonian law is a moot point in this case, as the match is being played in Cockbill Street. Furthermore, the hooligans in question (though we do not condone their actions) were not attempting to change Rejistani law. Rather, they were working within the law.

2) If Mr. Cochrane is simply looking for a better vantage point, I'd be more than willing to host him in the luxury box you have kindly reserved for myself. However, his role as a preventer is not only unnecessary, but futile. Were there to be Legalese lawyers stampeding the field, it would be a job for your security forces, as Legalite JDs are not certified to practice law in Cockbill Street.

3) We do not feel that Mr. Cochrane is a man who would normally act in ways not in a "responsible manner". Rather, in his position as attorney general, his justification for having a presence by the pitch calls for him to get lawyers involved in the match. As we have already stated, any presence of Legalese lawyers would be a security issue, not a legal one. Hence, we stand on our objection on his presence, due to his role, not him as a person. Besides, who can't like a Cochrane rhyme?

4) Margaret R. Rapture's name change was part of the agreement between the Legal Eagles and the Legalese government, regarding the behavior of soccer supporters from Legalese. This agreement is the assurance between the supporters and the government that a repeat of the Rejistanian fiasco will not happen again. If you would like, I can tender a copy of the full agreement to the chair.

Thank you once again for your consideration. We hope for a wonderful (and lawyer-free) Cup of Harmony Final.

Yours,

Miguel Carnalejo
Executive Director
Legalese Association Football Confederation

(OOC: Glad to do my part :) )

Dear Messrs. Landry and Carnalejo,

I would first like to point out that the match in question is scheduled to be played at the Belmorian International, which the last time I checked was situated in Alan City. As such, the Cockbill Street Department of Sport has nothing to do with any security issues regarding the match.

However, a general comment may be in order, since you have chosen to address this war of words to the Department of Sports in Cockbill Street:

I really can not comprehend why Sarzonia wish for a general attorney to be present at the match. What does Mr Landry mean by "the expected stream of lawyers [which will be] trying to change Sarzonian code?" I can only assume this will mean a repeat of Rejistania v Legalese, when the lawyers swamped the match, which means that you are indirectly criticising at Belmorian security. I can assure you that the match has top priority with Belmorian Watchmen, and that the risk of a lawyer swarm is extremely unlikely.

Stars complete turnaround, win 2-1

The previous time the Sarzonian national team took part in the Cup of Harmony, the team faced disaster and tragedy and its own incompetence. They went into this Cup of Harmony looking to slay the ghosts of that past. Now the team can now focus on the positive following a 2-1 win over a Legalese team that very quickly has earned distinction as a team the Stars do not like.

"We haven't had an easy go of it against these guys, that's for sure," Coach Dave Wilson said. "The last two matches in particular have been hard-fought and have had some unfortunate distractions along the way."

Much controversy resulted from the Sarzonian Football Confederation's request to have Attorney General Jonathan Cochrane sit on the sidelines for the final in reaction to a stream of lawyers attempting to change Rejistani laws. Cochrane ended up watching from the press box, but his presence was not needed.

The Stars started slowly out of the gate, nearly conceding an own goal just eight minutes in but for a brilliant save by goalkeeper Troy Perkins, who stopped five shots and steadied the team after conceding six goals in four matches. The Stars would score into the Black and Red's net in the 34th minute off the boot of forward Barry Alphonso, who split a seam and fired his one-time bid from a difficult angle.

"That was a great goal by Barry," midfielder Bobby Convey said. Convey got the assist on the Alphonso marker and scored in the 77th minute, just five minutes after Legalese drew the match level with a penalty kick after a desperate handball by Corey Hemby. He was red-carded and will sit out the first match of the Eagle Cup.

"That was a huge mistake on my part," Hemby said. "I never should have done that."

The goal gave the Black and Red hope that they could pull off another upset of the Stars, but Convey's goal following a takeaway in midfield erased hopes as the Stars sent the remaining nine men behind the ball in the waning minutes. When the final whistle blew, the Stars piled on top of each other to celebrate.

"It feels good to come in and win this tournament after the debacle at the last one," Wilson said. "We'll take some time to enjoy this one."

"You want to win the cup, not be runners up," Cochrane said. The jubilant attorney general then began an impromptu rap to celebrate the team's excorcising its Cup of Harmony demons.

"Break it down, yo. We're not trying to cause no trouble/We're just doing the cup winner's shuffle."

To: Sarzonian Football Confederation
From: The LAFC

Chairman Landry,

We would like to offer our congrats on your victory in the Cup of Harmony final. The history between our national teams is young, yet filling quite quickly, and we are proud to have written another chapter in it at Belmorian International.

Additionally, we hope that Mr. Cochrane enjoyed his seats in the press box. We are thankful that his presence on the field would have been a moot point in the first place.

Best Wishes.

Yours,

Miguel Carnalejo
Executive Director
Legalese Association Football Confederation

To: The LAFC
From: Commissioner Buddy Landry, SFC
Subject: Thank you

Thank you for your gracious congratulations following a hard-fought final between our two countries. I believe it is just the beginning of a long tradition between our two national teams that can only serve to enhance the quality of football in the world.

We may become football rivals, but that doesn't affect the regard we have for you away from sporting competition.