NationStates Jolt Archive

Greetings from the Incorporated Football Federation of Sarzonia. We have offered to serve as your hosts for the Cup of Harmony tournament for outstanding sides that have just missed the World Cup Finals. This tournament will feature 16 teams playing in four groups of four teams. The top two teams from each group will advance to the knockout stages. The tiebreakers for advancement will be most wins, goal differential, total goals, and HEAD-TO-HEAD result. If this does not decide the winner, the RP bonus (more information at the bottom) will advance the winner. If for some reason the RP bonus doesn't decide the winner, there will be a coin flip.

Group A will use the Palestra (capacity 31,940) in Woodstock, home of the three time SFC champion Woodstock Wild. Group B will use the Snake Pit in Saugerties (capacity 34,190), home of the Saugerties Snakes. Group C will use Timbers Stadium (capacity 61,320) in Portland, home of the Portland Timbers. Group D will use Anderson Stadium (capacity 62,300) in Nicksia, home of the Nicksia Knights. Each stadium will also host one quarterfinal matchup to be determined. Timbers Stadium and Anderson Stadium will host the semi-finals. The third place match will take place at the Snake Pit in Saugerties, while the final will take place in Hendrix Stadium in the nation's capital, Woodstock.

If you are interested in competing in this tournament, please sign up here. The Federation has determined that it will only have space for 16 teams, so the teams with better records will be considered. [OOC: won-draw-loss and RPing will be considered in determining the field.] Teams that are accepted will be telegramed.

A RP bonus will apply to teams who RP well. It will be subjective, but teams that post a roster and well-written match reports will receive some benefit for the time they put in. Teams that don't RP won't get the bonus, obviously.

We wish the best of luck to all 16 teams that ultimately compete in the Cup of Harmony.

Jimmy Marshall
Vice President for Health and Athletics
Incorporated States of Sarzonia

*bump*

Pimentos to Pay Hommage to Santos

During the course of the Harmony Cup, all Pimento players will be wearing a black wristband with Guy Santos’ number embroidered on it to show their respect to the former Brazillican and Lee Grays great.

“The tragic passing of Mr. Santos has left the entire footballing world shocked,” said Big Pimento manager, Wally Wonkstein. “He had everything you ever wanted in a player; he was unselfish, hard-working, had a great nose for the net and an almost near unparalleled first touch. I had the privilege to watch him on a few opportunities and he blew me away every time. In my opinion, he was one of the best to ever play the game and he will be sorely missed.”

Big Pimento (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=6981031&postcount=12) will be sending the same seventeen to Sarzonia in the Harmony Cup which represented the nation so proudly during Cup qualification.

For the First Time, No Vilitan Entity will be participating in the Cup. Should the Free Land of Eystrck enter the competition, we will Support them 100% throughout the Cup. If Not, We will support our fellow Atlantian Oceanians, including Hosts Sarzonia.

hahahaha! The Evil Umpire shall get its revenge in this Cup of Harmony! I present to you...the Evil Tea Bags!

(were in)

Liverpool England would like to note it's support for the Sarzonian bid, and wish all teams participating luck.

*bump*

I have four countries signed up so far.

Lovisa sign

Lovisa sign

Were Lovisa invited to sign?

Were Lovisa invited to sign?Yes. Because of W-D-L record/world ranking.

Location: Headquarters of the FAoII, Reichsmarkia, Insane Inflation.

Ludwig Erhardt: Cup of Harmony... I think we ought to participate!
Vladimir Rouble, head of the FAoII: ok, you think so? Why?
LE: Because we missed qualification and we had this so called 'RPs'
VR: Not really: RP-bonus machines regularily could not accept it due to the abysmal paper quality of the Reichsmarkia times!
LE: Hey, burreaucracy, it does not have to be good, it only has to exist!
VR: Well, the other point is that we are far away from doing good.
LE: Well, do you know the term 'to bribe a host'?
VR: We don't have the financial ressources for that!
LE: We surely do!
VR: You suggest printing money?
LE: I suggest sending them a few trillions of totally Inflated Yens
VR: that is nothing!
LE: But it looks impressive!
VR: Indeed.

OOC: II signs up. I volunteer to sim the host matches.

wouldnt it be quicker/more effective to supply a list of the eight/twelve/sixteen teams that would be elligble for the CoH (RPing ones and high-ranked ones) and TG those nations about being invited to the CoH? The CoH is expected to end before the next world cup starts so you may have to be quick. Heres nineteen maybes:

Sarzonia (assuming Sarzonia hosts which i hope he/she/it does)
Avenging Altos (teh puppet)
Big Pimento
Eystrck (if Vilita is willing to RP)
Gesamkuntswerk
Giant Zucchini (although apparently a dead nation now?)
Halfassedstates
Insane Inflation (teh puppet)
Jerusalem
Lovisa
Nastic 2 (is he still around?)
Oaker
Oglethorpia
Snub Nose 38 (not strictly speaking good enough for the CoH but you'll need a bunch of nobodies to make up the numbers... )
Tajikistan
Tanah Burung
The Belmore Family (see Snub Nose 38)
The Evil Umpire
The Weegies

Telegrammed Announcement of Gamesmanship

wouldnt it be quicker/more effective to supply a list of the eight/twelve/sixteen teams that would be elligble for the CoH (RPing ones and high-ranked ones) and TG those nations about being invited to the CoH? The CoH is expected to end before the next world cup starts so you may have to be quick. Heres nineteen maybes:

Sarzonia (assuming Sarzonia hosts which i hope he/she/it does)
Avenging Altos (teh puppet)
Big Pimento
Eystrck (if Vilita is willing to RP)
Gesamkuntswerk
Giant Zucchini (although apparently a dead nation now?)
Halfassedstates
Insane Inflation (teh puppet)
Jerusalem
Lovisa
Nastic 2 (is he still around?)
Oaker
Oglethorpia
Snub Nose 38 (not strictly speaking good enough for the CoH but you'll need a bunch of nobodies to make up the numbers... )
Tajikistan
Tanah Burung
The Belmore Family (see Snub Nose 38)
The Evil Umpire
The Weegiesheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh e

pause...

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

I think I'll play ;)

OOC: II signs up. I volunteer to sim the host matches.

[OOC: Much appreciated, thank you.]

I've already invited:

Big Pimento (already said yes)
Eystrck
Halfassedstates
Lovisa (already said yes)
Jeruselem (already said yes)
The Evil Umpire (already said yes)

I accept the signups of Insane Inflation and Snub Nose 38.

I believe the confirmed countries are up to seven. I'm still shooting for 16, then I'd like to get started with the group draw.

Memo
From: Daniel Bryant, AudioSlavian Syndicate of Forging Links to Abroad Places (ASS-FLAP)

To: The dude who deals with this kind of stuff, Snub Nose 38

Dear Sir/Madam/Dude/Wench

The Audioslavian Football Association, in connection with ASS-FLAP, would like to help the Snub Nose 38 team with their preparations for their forthcoming voyage into world football. ASS-FLAP would take pleasure in donating equiptment which is vital for playing football. For example 'grass', 'socks', 'oranges', 'sticks' and most importantly, a book showing diagrams of how to do complex but appealing celebration dances for when your team scores a goal.

We would also take pleasure in teaching your team the basic rules of the game, like how to kick the ball, how to score a goal, and why biting opponent's kneecaps is frowned upon by both crowd, referee and disgruntled team-cook alike.

We hope this information will help the Snub Nose 38 team defeat its fierce rivals 'Snub Nose 39', 'Snub Nose 36.7' and 'Smith and Wesson 186'

Yours Patronisingly

Daniel Bryant (Mr.)

*bump*

Are we allowed to take part, or are there certain criteria to be met that I have missed?

[OOC: The tradition has been to have teams that just missed qualifying for the World Cup Finals in the Cup of Harmony.

I'm not sure if there is a precedent for allowing a team that didn't compete in the World Cup to play in the CoH.]

The basic rules were, they played in the World Cup 17 and they at least RPed a bit. I don't think you'll reach 16, try for 10/12 2 groups of 5/6 top 2 go into semis.

Wella want join this cup too

Wella want join this cup too


Wella should have participated in the last one they entered then.

[OOC: The tradition has been to have teams that just missed qualifying for the World Cup Finals in the Cup of Harmony.

I'm not sure if there is a precedent for allowing a team that didn't compete in the World Cup to play in the CoH.]

Oh okay then, forget I said anything. I'm not one to mess with tradition ;).

For: Daniel Bryant, AudioSlavian Syndicate of Forging Links to Abroad Places (ASS-FLAP)

From: The Second Assistant Sub-Deputy Executive Secretary to the Alternate Vice Associate Minister of Athletics, Oympics, and Alcoholic Beverages for the Frost Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38

Dear ASS-FLAP Representative Bryant;

The Snub Nose 38 Football Association (which does not have an Acronym as we couldn't figure out how to pronounce "SN38FA") would like to take this opportunity to thank the Audioslavian Football Association, in connection with ASS-FLAP, for the trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient (?), cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent assistance you have offered to the the Snub Nose 38 team. ASS-FLAP has offered to donate certain critical footballing equiptment ('grass', 'socks', 'oranges', 'sticks' - and most appealing, a book of diagrams on how to do complex celebration dances when the team scores a goal).

We have a couple of questions:

1. What is a football team? Is it like a football side?

2. Does that "grass" come rolled and ready to lay out on a pitch, or does it come in small plastic bags ready to lay you out on the pitch?

3. What are these "socks"?

4. Orange what?

5. Sticks? What sticks? How do we get it un-stuck?

ASS-FLAP also offered to teach us the basic rules of the game, like how to kick the ball, how to score a goal, and why biting opponent's kneecaps is frowned upon by both crowd, referee and disgruntled team-cook alike.

1. Ball?

2. Don't we first have to establish what our goal is, before we can "score" one?

3. We insist on our inalienable right to bite.

4. Referee?

5. Team-cook we understand. Although, frankly, the turn-out at meals is rather poor. We're thinking of firing the monkey and taking on an actual human chef, but funding being what it is...

We await with open arms (lockers, barrells, garages, attics, and a closet on the third floor of the Ministry of Super Secret Sleuthery that we can never seem to locate) delivery of the supplies and equipment you have offered. We also have set aside some time in our training schedule (3 minutes and 12 seconds next Tuesday, right after lunch) to receive the valuable training you have offered.

Additionally, we are offering monetary rewards for information leading to the arrest and conviction of person or persons answering to the description of 'Snub Nose 39', and/or 'Snub Nose 36.7' as well as 'Smith and Wesson 186'.

Yours
(Mine, and Ours)

Beverly (Bev)

*bump*

I'm all too happy to sign up.

We're now up to eight countries. Signups will be open until midnight EDT today. If we get two more countries, it will be 10 teams in two groups of five. Four more countries will be three groups of four.

3 groups of 4? How you gonna work that?

3 groups of 4? How you gonna work that?

We have eight countries right now. If four more sign up, we'll have 12.

That would work to three groups of four teams each. The top two teams from each group would be guaranteed to go through to the next round and then the two teams with the next highest point totals will get the last two "wild card" slots. They would be seeded seventh and eighth in the knockout rounds.

If it's 10 teams, it would be two groups of five, with each team having one off day. The top three teams would advance to the knockout rounds, with the 3-6 seeds playing in the quarterfinals and the top two seeds playing the winners in the semifinals.

If it stays at eight teams, there will be two groups of four with no quarterfinal round. The first place team from Group A would face the second place team from Group B and vice versa. Obviously, there'd be third place and championship games from there.

I also have a plan for 14 teams: Two groups of five teams and one group of four teams. There would be one off day for each of the teams in the five team groups and the teams in the four country group would all have an off day on the first day of the tournament. The same playoff system used for a 12 team Cup of Harmony would be used for this format.

The Oaker Sharks will sign up please

We now currently have nine teams.

Remember, you have just over six hours left to sign up!

I would like to sighn up for, the cup,

we will let our world cup team play before the competation starts in the world cup, it headed by the coach Mohamed furer

Somalialand, the Cup of Harmony is for Teams eliminated from the current World Cup (17) at the qualification stage. You, like Maserrat, may sign up for the next Cup of Harmony, if you are eliminated from the World Cup 18 Qualifiers.

*president Smacks the coach "pawwwwwww"* "How dumb are you?" Asks the president

We are sorry for that sign up, we just got confused with all the paper work to sign up in the world cup and all the info searching

We can participate

We can participateWe now have 10 teams in the Cup of Harmony.

If we end up with an odd number of teams (for instance, 11 or 13), there will be a one match play-in between the two lowest ranked teams, unless there happens to be 15 teams, in which case there will be three groups of five teams and the same playoff format as would be the case in a 12 team tournament.

We now have 10 teams entered in the Cup of Harmony.

They will play in two groups of five teams each, with the top three teams from each group advancing to the knockout stages.

Would the 10 teams get their rosters up and any pre-cup RPs please?

I can see you like to keep things simple...

Would the 10 teams get their rosters up and any pre-cup RPs please?

No hurry, the FAoII will! (When the player finished his job for today)

Helloooooooooo, roster.

Goalkeepers:

1. Eriksson, Clive [21] (Mackintosh Thistle Celtic)
12. Harris, Anthony [17] (Trams Union Utd)

Defenders:

2. McCarg, Louis [17] (Mackintosh Armadillos)
3. Fulton, Davie [18] (Buchanan Haggises)
4. Fulton, Derek [22] (Buchanan Haggises)
5. Cargill, Steven [21] (Trams Union Utd)
13. Johnston, Robert [17] (Lylia Foresters)
14. Martinsson, George [18] (Hanover Town)
15. Urquhart, Jamie [17] (Carlsson Rangers)
16. Fulton, Dennis [18] (Buchanan Haggisses)

Midfielders:

6. McDonald, Aidan [22] (Lylia Foresters)
7. Thompson, Owen [21] (Easter House Islanders)
8. McCann, Henry [19] (Mackintosh Thistle Celtic)
9. Reilly, George [17] (Hanover Town)
17. Ambry, Mark [18] (Mackintosh Armadillos)
18. Stewart, John [19] (Sauchiehall Utd)
19. Boyd, Jackie [17] (Mackintosh Armadillos)
20. Macnamara, Kevin [17] (Southside Utd)

Strikers:

10. Lindau, Jack [21] (Mackintosh Thistle Celtic)
11. Rourke, Michael [17] (Mackintosh Armadillos)
21. Hermiston, Adam [17] (Southside Utd)
22. Cunningham, Douglas [18] (Trams Union Utd)

The new manager is Edward Jekyll, formerly manager of 3rd Division semi-professional side "The Distillery". Those numbered 1-11 are the most likely to be played. No. 3, Davie Fulton, is the team captain.

Announcement - Ministry of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages

The Sub-Deputy Alternate Executive Secretary of the Second Assistant Vice Ministers' Intern announces the official Snub Nose 38 National Side, "The Hooligans", for the Cup of Harmony. Please note that the normal starting eleven are indicated by an asterisk (*).

Keepers -
Elmer Fudd*
Popeye

Defenders -
Sylvester Cat* (Thufferin' Thuckatath)
Tweety Bird* (yes, we do anticipate some "mix-ups" in the defense)
Donald Duck*
Daisy Duck*
L'il Lulu
L'il Abner
Archie
Jughead

Midfielders -
Porky Pig*
Petunia Pig*
Foghorn Leghorn* (Margaret has been warned!)
Mickey Mouse*
Minnie Mouse
Goofy
Barney Rubble
Fred Flintstone

Forwards -
Bugs Bunny*
Speedy Gonzalez*
Either Tweedle-Dee, or Tweedle-Dum...whoever shows up
Betty (we're not sure if this is the "Betty" from Riverdale High, or the "Betty" from Bedrock. We don't think it really matters - we needed another forward badly. We got one...badly)

We're looking forward to a good solid showing in this tournament. ASS-FLAP conducted a 3 minute 12 second training session for us last Tuesday (right after lunch), and we think we've got the hang of this game now.

What do we do with these hockey sticks?

(say - we just looked up at the roster posted by "The Weegies" - and we realize we should have included the club our players usually play for. then, we realized that our players don't usually play. makes it more difficult. to list their club sides, i mean. when they don't have one. so, we made up a couple of names. stick 'em in there where ever you like. the names of some club sides that don't exist in snub nose 38 are:

The East End Kids
The Katzenjammer Kids
The Billy-the-Kids
The Dead End Kids
The Cisco Kids (they were a friend of mine...(insert musical notes here))
Some other Group of Kids)

GACK!!! Management!

Yeah, we're gonna have some of that, too...

(oh, no! team captain! um...that would be...er...how about...lessee...say, here's what we'll do. just before each match, we'll hide the captains arm band somewhere in the locker room. the starting eleven can have like, you know, an easter egg hunt - only, without the easter eggs, 'cause you know how it starts to smell when one of those doesn't get found for days, or weeks...anywho, whichever of 'em finds it first gets to be Captain-For-A-Day! yeah, that'll work...)

OOC: The 17th CoH? But... but...

*HEAD A SPLODE*

17th Cup of Harmony.

Not.

We are rather sure that the Cup of Harmony did not exist until sometime after the first several World Cups were - well, were history.

But, since it's more trouble (if not impossible) to look it up than to just go along with hanging the number "17" on it, so it kind of matches the WC - eh, we'll just keep this to ourselves.

Oh, my! Were we talking out loud?

:cool:

From the Ministry of Statistics, Other Totally Useless Information, and Band Aids

We really have nothing to report. Just wanted to mention that the band aids are in the second drawer down in that white metal cabinet just inside the door to the locker room. You know, in case somebody needs one.

Sorry to interupt.

Go back to what you were doing.

Scuttlebutt - This Edition

ASPN Hires...Well, People!
Sten Mike Easter

News Flash! (can we do that in a newspaper? guess so - nobody'll notice) The Asteroid Sports Network - ASPN - is back in business! Well, not so much "in business" as "in sports casting". Sports Casting - what an odd...I mean, shouldn't "sports casting" be, like, watcha do when ya go fishin'?

More to the point (if there is a point, which we are beginning to doubt, since we started this sentence spelling "point" as "pint", which lead us to thinking about the pub across the street, where we're going as soon as we finish righting (shouldn't that be "writing"?) this article, which is going to be finished soon because that pint is so calling our name) ASPN has hired a full (they just ate) staff of reporters, camera men (some of whom, we found out, were women. don't ask how we found out. it was rather embarassing), sound guys (gals, too - again, don't ask), and some important looking and totally useless executives. We think they got those executives from the Ministry of Statistics, Other Totally Useless Information, and Band Aids, but we haven't got all the information.

What does all this mean?

Who knows?

Really - who knows? I mean, if it's you, please tell me. I've gotta finish this article, and it would help to know - ya know?

We think it has something to do with the recently rebuilt ASPN studios. They have this new building, see, with a bunch of rooms, and all this electronic equipment and cameras and stuff, and this really cool HUGE antenna right over the top of the building! The latest rumor is they may actually broadcast something.

Broad.

Cast.

I mean, really. Who came up with that?

Anyhow, more on this story as it develops, and sometime after I make the personal acquaintance of that pint mentioned a couple of paragraphs back.

Jeruselem Government News

Clubs battle over World Cup players

Local Jeruselem clubs wanted their players to play for them and not the Cup of Harmony XVII. The Jeruselem coach wanted a full team but local club teams wanted their players back as well as some International clubs who have some well known World Cup players in their regular team.

"The U-21s have returned from the XVII championship to play for their teams, but why can't we do the same with World Cup players?" pointed out Jerusalem United Coach. Cardinal Augustus Brown, a Chelsea fan, intervened and hopes the situation will be resolved by the end of the week.

Coach Bryan Marshall announced the Sarzonian national team's roster for the latest installment of the Cup of Harmony.

ROSTER (starters in bold)
GOALKEEPERS
30 Troy Perkins (Portland): Perkins is still young (24), but he's very experienced in international play. After some struggles, he's expected to solidify his spot as the first choice keeper.
1 Mark Tanner (Portsmouth): Former mainstay on the Under 21 national team. Now that he’s 21, he’s the reserve keeper on the senior team.

DEFENDERS
2 Mike Coyle (Woodstock): Left back in the Wild's 4-4-2 alignment. Speedy defender who can make up for occasional lapses in positioning with sheer athleticism. Now 23, getting better with experience.
5 Corey Hemby (Internashionale - Starblaydia): Plays center back for Internashionale and is expected to step in for the retired Bryson Juergens. At 24, injects some youth into an aging position.
32 Emacio (Hallad Reavers - Starblaydia): Known as a tremendous offensive defender, signed with the Reavers after the Stars were eliminated from the World Cup. (23 years old)
35 Lance Alcina (Hallad): Plays right back for the Reavers. This 20 year old is a teammate of Emacio's so the two are familiar with each other.
14 William Jackson (Burlington Braves - minor league): Signed with the Braves after the nuclear destruction of Townshend. 30 years old.
18 Taylor Williams (Rochester): Plays right halfback for the Rage. He earned a spot in the starting 11 with all-star caliber season. Not much pure speed, but tremendous quickness and great smarts. (30 years old)

MIDFIELDERS
6 Jeff Conley (Woodstock): Also plays defensive midfield for the Wild. Renowned throughtout the league for shutting down the league's best attacking midfielders and withdrawn forwards. Aggressive streak sometimes results in cautions and sendoffs. 36 years old but in the best shape of his career.
9 Darwin Russell: (Parkville F.C. - NEWI Cefn Druids):
Tremendous left-side player with a deadly accurate free kick from that side. Can be roughed up and taken out of his game. At 25 years old, is emerging as a star on the national side.
10 Bobby Convey (Woodstock): Team captain. Easily the best playmaker in all of Sarzonia. Very experienced. Able to relate to all his teammates well. Frightening maturity at 23.
16 John Benmont (Portsmouth): Replacing the retired Barry Owens, fills many of the same roles for the team. Adds a little more speed. 27 years old.
21 Martin Overton (Richmond): Plays defensive midfield for Richmond, but can also join the attack in a pinch. Has played withdrawn forward at times when the club team was hit by injuries or suspensions. 28 years old.
17 George Mitcham (Saugerties): Once known as Sarzonia's first foreign based player, now plays attacking midfield for the Snakes. He's on the verge of breaking into the starting 11 with the Stars. At 24 years old, may flourish with a new club.
33 Bronson Adelsen (Rochester): New addition to the national team, this 28 year old adds a rugged defensive presence to the team.

FORWARDS
22 Brian Wilson (Woodstock): At 21, formerly the youngest player on the team, but has terrific skills for his age and great football awareness. His father is the national team's top assistant coach, so he often thinks like a coach on the pitch. Also played a key role in Sarzonia's last AOCAF tournament.
31 Barry Alphonso (Randolph Reavers): Can play either withdrawn forward or striker for his club team. Led the league with 22 goals last season and has led the league in goals scored two straight years. Set records for most goals in Joe Gibbs University's history as a four year starter. 26 years old.
32 Bruce Badger (Randolph): A supersub, Badger scored 13 goals, a league high for a player who was strictly a reserve on his club team in the SFC. Able to add some scoring punch in a pressure situation. Just turned 27.
19 Kenny Cooper (Tacoma):Now 21, he is the all-time leading goal scorer for the U21 national team. He figures to compete for playing time off the bench.

Notably absent in this edition of the Cup of Harmony are reserve goalkeeper Kerry Tanner, who retired. His younger brother Mark steps up from the Under 21 national team to serve as the second choice keeper behind Troy Perkins; and forward Anton Gregor, who tore his anterior cruciate ligament in the AOCAF III tournament. Forward Barry Alphonso takes his place in the starting 11.

The Incorporated Football Federation has announced the group draws for the Cup of Harmony:

Group A:
Lovisa (15)
Jeruselem (40)
Sarzonia (49)
Kylaai (75)
Big Pimento (NR)

Group B:
Snub Nose 38 (31)
Oaker (33)
The Weegies (41)
The Evil Umpire (59)
Insane Inflation (NR)

MATCHDAYS:
One: 1 vs. 4, 2 vs. 3
Two: 1 vs. 3, 2 vs. 5
Three: 1 vs. 2, 4 vs. 5
Four: 1 v. 5, 3 v. 4
Five: 2 v. 4, 3 v. 5

Each team will play one match against each other team in the group. There will be five match days, with each team having one day off. The top three teams in each group will advance to the knockout stages. The third through sixth seeds will play in the quarterfinal rounds, with the top two seeds receiving a bye into the semifinals. The highest remaining seed from the quarterfinal round will face the second seed and the lowest remaining seed will face the top seed. The winners will face each other in the Final, to be played at Hendrix Stadium in Woodstock, while the third place game will take place in Timbers Stadium in Portland.

Best of luck to all competitors. Let the games begin!

The Insane Inflation Trillionaires somhow reached Sarzonia. It is assumed that new money had to be printed to cover the costs of the trip. However the Trillionaires' trip was not expensive because the players demand a luxurious hotel and such (their hotel in Sarzonia is among the worst of the country). Merely the fact that no sane person accepts Totally inflated yen for any kind of transaction was the problem. The FAoII had to find enough insane persons and blind them with a number with many zeroes to get foreign currency.

The Trillionaires:

Starters:
GK: Hans Eichel (Phraen Palace)
DF: Lyndon Johnson (Phraen Palace)
DF: Cedi Quoa (Saravo Storm)
DF: Ringgit Malay (Öbuda FC)
MF: Forint Magy (FC Bankruptcy)
MF: Pengö Magy (Saravo Storm)
MF: Kwanza Nouveau (Phraen Palace)
MF: Yuan Qienhao (Öbuda FC)
FW: H. Series (Saravo Storm)
FW: Lirasi Türkmen (Saravo Storm)
FW: T.I. Yen (Phraen Palace)

Subs:
GK: Bolivar Venezu (Öbuda FC)
GK: Alan Greenspan (FC Reichsmarkia)
DF: Tala Sama (Saravo Storm)
DF: Vatu Vantu (Saravo Storm)
DF: Mauritz Ouguiya (SK Kyat)
MF: Kenneth Clarke (La Cedea)
MF: Franc Cefea (FC Bankruptcy)
MF: Theo Waigel (FC Reichsmarkia)
MF: Gordon Brown (La Cedea)
FW: Lilangeni Svazi (Öbuda FC)
FW: Hans Reichsmark (FC Bankruptcy)
FW: Oliver Letwin (FC Reichsmarkia)

Coach: Luwig Erhardt

The roster is similar, however not equal to the roster of the world Cup 17 qualifiers: Hans "Death of Chances" Reichsmarklost his starter position to Lirasi Türkmen. The Forint-brother will play together in the midfield. Defender Ley Bulgari missed in the roster, Mauritz Ouguiya from the Kyat has his first appearance in the national team.

The Evil Tea Bags Roster Here (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=6990203#post6990203)

Our Plans to Destroy Our Cup of Harmony Competition

Snub Nose 38: Hijack the PA and put Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby" on repeat

Oaker: We have an alliance against Melmond, so just paddles on the bum

The Weegies: Unlucky...just rocks and garbage.

Insane Inflation: Rocks...garbage

Jeruselem Government News

CoH Player tussle resolved

After intervetion by the Minister of Religion and Culture, Jeruselem will send a team to the Cup of Harmony XVII. It was not the full strength team as wanted by the coach as local and international clubs did not want their prime Jeruselem players to go, a compromise was arranged. Most of the team would be made of the "second team" who don't generally play regularly and are often left out of the bigger games. This includes some recent U-21 players.

Jersuelem are drawn in Group A with Lovisa and Sarzonia again going to be big rivals. The top 3 are expected to make knockout rounds which are also expected to the top 3 seeds.

Group A
Lovisa (15)
Jeruselem (40)
Sarzonia (49)
Kylaai (75)
Big Pimento (NR)

Jeruselem team roster

Keepers
* Amin Amin (U-21, reserve keeper of Jerusalem United)
* Yacob Yisraeli (reserve keeper of Macabi Haifa)

Midfield
* Yasser Arafat (defensive, Arab Palestine)
* Al Kadir Khidar (attacking U-21, Gaza Strip)
* Ahab Baha (sweeper, Beersheba United)
* Mimi Goldstein (Jeruselem United, regular World cup player and captain of Coh team)
* Yoa Dudus (defensive, Christian Palestine)

Strikers
* John Gregorium (U-21, Christian Palestine)
* Barack Shabmaran (Beersheba United)
* Shamilahika Mawashimashoba (Arab Palestine) - Just call him Shami

17th Cup of Harmony.

Not.

We are rather sure that the Cup of Harmony did not exist until sometime after the first several World Cups were - well, were history.

But, since it's more trouble (if not impossible) to look it up than to just go along with hanging the number "17" on it, so it kind of matches the WC - eh, we'll just keep this to ourselves.

Oh, my! Were we talking out loud?

:cool:

The first CoH was the FIT after WC8 Quailifiers. I know I won it :D Anyway it's just a typo, it should be WC17's CoH or 10th CoH.

The Evil Tea Bags Roster Here (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=6990203#post6990203)

Our Plans to Destroy Our Cup of Harmony Competition

Snub Nose 38: Hijack the PA and put Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby" on repeat

Oaker: We have an alliance against Melmond, so just paddles on the bum

The Weegies: Unlucky...just rocks and garbage.

Insane Inflation: Rocks...garbage

...what PA system?

;)

THIS IS A PUBLIC SEVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Due to circumstances beyond his control, Sarzonia is no longer able to host the Cup of Harmony. Having been contacted by Rejistania, his co-host, the Allied States will now be host the Cup of Harmony. Information concerning stadia will be posted shortly. Groups and schedule will remain the same, and the Cup shall be underway tomorrow.

Good Day,
Quentin McKeehan, Minister of Sports, Culture, and Dusty Things in Museums (SPOCULTHIM)

THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Unfortunately, Sarzonia experiencing trouble with an alternative reality, something called 'Real Life'. Due to this, he will not be able to access the computer required for scorination. The Lowland Clans and me decided to take over hosting. since we do need some time to prepare our own system of scorination, the CoH is most likely to start tomorrow.

*hooligan management scrambles to adjust to these new developments!*

- Watcha doin', Ben?
- Hmmm?
- Watcha doin'?
- Oh. I'm makin' us all some breakfast, Eileen.
- What're we havin'?
- Eh?
- What're we havin'?
- Eggs.
- Eggs?
- Yes, eggs - with home fries, and bacon.
- Oh. What kinda' eggs?
- Scrambled.

*... *

Allied States of the Lowland Clans: Stadiums
Graham City International Stadium:
Name: Graham City International
Cost 30,000,000
Seats: 100,000
Completed: January 11th 2004
The newest and most luxurious stadiums in the Allied States, it is the pride and joy of the nation team, whose lengthy fundraisers and foregoing large portions of their contract to help by the land and build the Stadium. Used for everything from High School Soccer to (hopefully) the internationally renowned Cup of Harmony.
http://www.worldstadiums.com/stadium_pictures/oceania/australia/new_south_wales/sydney_telstra.jpg

Limassolian Memorial International Stadium:
Name: Limassol Memorial
Cost 50,000,000
Seats: 115,000
Completed: October 15th 2003
The largest and most amazing stadium present in the Lowland Clans, it is built in the new captial of the Free Cypressian Republic, Limassol. The opening ceremonies consisted of a candlelight vigil for all the victims in the War in the Mediterreanean, the welcoming ceremony of the Republic into the Allied States, and a game between the two best clubs of the Republic and the Royal Republic of Scotland: FC Graham City and Limassol EC. The game was incredible, with the last minute heroics allowing the Scottish to pull away by the skin of their teeth by a 2-1 score.
http://www.worldstadiums.com/stadium_pictures/europe/greece/athens_spiros_louis2.jpg

Rejistanian Stadiums

Hetkali Hetlasane Stadium, Hetkali
Capacity 105,000
(image not avaiable)

Hetkali Hetlasane, a legend in Rejistanian soccer, were domestic champions 6 times. This stadium is the place where exciting first-league and playoff matches took place as well as the 50th match of the national team. Hetkali is a fascinating city in Northern Mintania with an exciting nightlife.

Hetkali Hetaki Stadium, Hetkali
Capacity 72,000
(image not avaiable)

Hetkali Hetaki is the second first-league club from Hetkali and never managed to step out of the shadow of the superior rival Hetlasane. Despite this, they were always in the higher regions of the first North Mintanian league. There is no team in entire Rejistania which was third in the first league (which means: One place away from the playoffs) as often as Hetaki.

Clarification: Because I barely understand Sarzonia's description, here is an easier description of how this tournament will work.

The top three teams from each group will qualify for knock out stages. They will be seeded based on points etc. The top two seeds will get byes to the semi finals. The remaining four teams will be played like this:
3rd Seed vs 6th Seed
4th Seed Vs 5th Seed

The winners of those two matches will play the first two seeds, with the highest remaining seed playing the 1st seed, and the lowest remaining playing the second seed. The Stadia for each match is posted below, scorination for MD1 will begin once Bedistan has confirmed rankings.

Group A - The Lowland Clans
MD1 - Graham City International Stadium - 1 vs. 4, Limassol Memorial International Stadium - 2 vs. 3
MD2 - Limassol Memorial International Stadium - 1 vs. 3, Graham City International Stadium - 2 vs. 5
MD3 - Graham City International Stadium - 1 vs. 2, Limassol Memorial International Stadium - 4 vs. 5
MD4 - Limassol Memorial International Stadium - 1 v. 5, Graham City International Stadium - 3 v. 4
MD5 - Graham City International Stadium - 2 v. 4, Limassol Memorial International Stadium -3 v. 5

Group B - Rejistania
MD1 - Hetkali Hetlasane Stadium - 1 vs. 4, Hetkali Hetaki Stadium - 2 vs. 3
MD2 - Hetkali Hetaki Stadium - 1 vs. 3, Hetkali Hetlasane Stadium - 2 vs. 5
MD3 - Hetkali Hetlasane Stadium - 1 vs. 2, Hetkali Hetaki Stadium - 3 vs. 4
MD4 - Hetkali Hetaki Stadium - 1 vs. 5, Hetkali Hetlasane Stadium - 2 vs. 4
MD5 - Hetkali Hetlasane Stadium - 2 vs. 4, Hetkali Hetaki Stadium - 3 vs. 5

Quarter Finals - 3rd Seed vs 6th Seed - Rejistania, Hetkali Hetaki Stadium
Quarter Finals - 4th Seed vs 6th Seed - The Lowland Clans, Limassol Memorial International Stadium

Semi Finals - 1st Seed vs Highest Qualifying Seed - Rejistania, Hetkali Hetaki Stadium
Semi Finals - 2nd Seed vs Lowest Qualifying Seed - The Lowland Clans, Limassol Memorial International Stadium

Finals - Winner of Rejistanian Semi vs. Winner of TLC Semi - The Lowland Clans, Graham City International Stadium
3rd Place - Loser of TLC Semi vs. Loser of Rejistanian Semi - Rejistania, Hetkali Hetlasane Stadium

SARS Hits Sarzonia!
Officials move event to Rejistania/Lowland Clans

It seemed as though it was written in the stars and it was just a matter of time. The marriage between SARS and SARZonia seemed to be a given, almost natural, yet it has only lately become a reality. A recent outbreak of Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS) has rocked the Atlantian Oceanian country, causing tournament officials to relocate the tournament for the safety and wellness of both players and fans. Local health officials claim that they have this outburst under control, citing that the moving of the tournament was more of a "precautionary meausre" than anything else. Best of luck to the Incorporated States and Inhabitants of Sarzonia in this recent challenge.

Though the recent development in Sarzonia is playing heavily on the minds of all involved in the tournament, life goes on and players, managers, fans and officials are actively preparing for the cup to begin in Rejistania and The Lowland Clans tomorrow. As usual, Big Pimento will be playing the role of underdog as they've been slated in a difficult group.

Lovisa fell a mere point away from automatic qualification and then succombed to an upstart Aquilliana side in the playoffs. They've got a wealth of internatonal experience and arguably the greatest striker in the world with Georg Lunz, making them a very dangerous side. It'll be interesting to see if they come back with the thirst to avenge their playoff loss or if that defeat to Aquiliana was the coup de grace to their confidence.

Jeruselem badly underachieved in the qualification stage, managing a mere fifth spot in the tables. Like Lovisa, they have a lot of experience and it'll be interesting to see how they'll bounce back from their lacklustre performance. The local press seems to believe they'll breeze through the group stage and it remains to be seen whether the players share in that overconfidence. If so, their stint in The Lowland Clans may be shorter than they expected.

Sarzonia has established themselves as one of the better sides in the world over the past few years, but have been lacking that little extra something to push them over the top. After a good qualification run, they suffered a crippling defeat to Europa Britannia in the playoffs. Nonetheless, they're a hardworking side who always come to play, and with the current domestic situation, they'll be looking to give a morale boost to the people back home. Could be a sleeper to win it all.

Kylaai made a big push to establish themselves on the global football map, finishing fifth in a group containing big names including Total n Utter Insanity, Tadjikistan, Lemmitania, Nastic 2 and Dennisov. If Kylaai showed us one thing during qualification, it's to expect the unexpected. They're a highly unpredictable and inconsistant side who can beat the best side of the world on one day and get rocked by the worst the next. Depending on which Kylaai shows up against the Pimentos, some points could definately be in reach.

To predict where Big Pimento will finish in the standings would be impossibly ridiculous.The Pimentos have an uncanny knack at squeezing out results when you least expect them to, as draws against Audioslavia, The Weegies and Squornshelous will illustrate, not to mention their shocking Matchday 3 victory against Cockbill Street. Likewise, the Pimentos are notorious for f*ing up matches you'd think were locks, like their spanking against the Valerian Boyars in the final match of qualification after a string of four consecutive matches without a loss. If you were a gambling man, dead last would be a pretty safe bet though.

Big Pimento have never played any of the sides from Group A, so very little is known about them. However, the Pimentos have a first day bye, so that should give the coaching staff ample time to scout out the other sides. To predict where Big Pimento will finish in the standings would be impossibly ridiculous, since they have an uncanny knack at squeezing out results when you least expect it, but then f*ing matches you'd think were locks. The Pimentos first match will be against Jeruselem at Graham City International Stadium.

Stars hope to dim fears, virus

Coach Bryan Marshall could be forgiven for worrying about the upcoming match against Jeruselem. The Sarzonian national team have never defeated Jeruselem in two meetings and are facing Group 1's top seeds in the first two match days. However, an outbreak of Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS) in the country has caused the Stars to have much more than football on their minds.

"To be honest, we haven't really concentrated too much on the tournament," Marshall said. "Too much is going on back home for us to have football be our main focus. We're going to try to win this tournament for the fans back home."

Following the first match against Jeruselem, the Stars will face group top seeds Lovisa in the second match and some pundits predicted the team could be 0-2 following that match.

However, a team source who asked not to be identified said the Stars have been reviewing tapes of the most recent World Cup qualifiers and Lovisa's playoff loss to Aquiliana.

"They have been struggling a little bit to recapture their form of the past," the source said. "Jeruselem's right about where they were after the previous World Cup when we faced them. Hopefully, we've made enough strides since then to be able to squeeze a point out of those matches.

The Stars beat Kylaai 4-0 during the 16th Baptism of Fire Cup in what was the biggest international victory for Sarzonia at the time. The Stars eventually won the championship for fellow World Cup newcomers, but Marshall cautioned that "they're a very different group from the ones we faced back then."

The only team that Sarzonia has never faced in the group is Big Pimento, which came into World Cup 17 unranked, but "played tough, tough football" during their group stages.

"They are not a team we are or can afford to take lightly," Marshall said. "You've seen them pull out some draws or some very competitive losses against some great teams in their group. We're going to have to play with a lot of intensity in that match or we're going to have a lot of trouble in Sarzonia when we get back."

NOTE: Due to a scorinating error on my part, please for matchday purposes switch Oaker and Insane Inflation in group positions.

MD1 Scores & Tables
GROUP A (TLC)
Lovisa 0 Kylaai 2
Jerusalem 2 Sarzonia 0

GROUP B (Rejistania)
The Weegies 1 Insane Inflation 0
Snub Nose 38 3 The Evil Umpire 0


Region 1 Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Jerusalem 3 1 0 0 2:0 2
2. Kylaai 3 1 0 0 2:0 2
5. Big Pimento 0 0 0 0 0:0 0
3. Lovisa 0 1 0 1 0:2 -2
4. Sarzonia 0 1 0 1 0:2 -2
Region 2 Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Snub Nose 38 3 1 0 0 3:0 3
2. The Weegies 3 1 0 0 1:0 1
3. Oaker 0 0 0 0 0:0 0
4. Insane Inflation 0 0 0 1 0:1 -1
5. The Evil Umpire 0 0 0 1 0:3 -3

*It's a dimly lit tunnel in the Graham City International Stadium. An annoying buzzing flourescent light hangs solitarily on the concrete ceiling, providing the only source of illumination in the relatively dark area. Three men are crowding around another one, the odd man out being Big Pimento manager Wally Wonkstein. He's being assaulted. Their weapons? Pens, ledgers and tough questions. He breathes deeply between each question in an attempt to calm himself down between the shelling.*

Reporter 1: Jeruselem really put the wood to Sarzonia, eh?

Wonkstein: Yeah, they look to be on top form. We'll have our work cut out for us on Friday.

Reporter 2: Planning any changes to counter Jeruselem's fine defense?

Wonkstein: Pierre Poivron will be out with food poisoning, he'll be replaced with Omore Ngogadi. We'll miss Poivron's two-way game but Ngogadi probably brings a bit more offensive punch to the match.

*Wonkstein's mind wanders off for a bit as reporters continue to bombard him with question and he retorts with stock answers. He gazes up at that lone fluorescent light, palms sweaty, cheeks flushed and legs shaking. "Why do they always want to talk to me?" he thought to himself, "Players can give good answers... better than mine. I'm a manager in charge of managing a football side... I do a damn good job at it... I shouldn't have to be subject to this media circus..."*

Reporter 3: Wally... Wally! You there?

*Wonkstein nods his forehead, dripping with newly laid beads of sweat.*

Reporter 3: If you look ahead to Sarzonia, they look to be a bit shaken up. You think your side might be able to capitalize on some of their weaknesses.

Wonkstein: I won't send my team on the pitch against Sarzonia.

*All three reporters looked up at Wally in amazement, eyes fixed on Wonkstein as they instinctly and frantically wrote on their notepads the recent bombshell.*

Reporter 1: Why not?

Wonkstein: They have SARS.

Reporter 1: But that's just a minute minority. Almost all cases have been quarantined and Sarzonian players have all been screened and cleared.

Wonkstein: That's what they want us to believe. They want us to think it's under control but it's not. I'm placing a complaint to FIFA to have all Sarzonian players dressed in Dr. No styled full-body suits during our match.

Reporter 2: Dr. No... isn't that one of those hip new clothing brands?

Wonkstein: No. You know, Dr. No? The James Bond movie? When they're in the cave at the end and they all have these full-body radiation suits? I want the Sarzonians dressed in those.

Reporter 1: That's a ridiculous propositon. FIFA will no doubt turn that down.

Wonkstein: Well, if they won't wear them I guess we'll have to. SARS is nothing to mess about with.

*The reporters finish taking their notes, shake hands with Wally and proceed out of the tunnel. With every passing step away from the three men, the reality of the situation slowly began to creep into Wally's consciousness. He messed up. Again. Once more, the pressure of an interview got to him and Wally let his tounge slip without thinking. It was just the latest in a long string of media mess-ups for Mr. Wonkstein.*

Stars flat in 2-0 loss

The Sarzonian national team came in with a lot on their minds. An outbreak of SARS in the former host country for the Cup of Harmony and terrorist attacks in Praetonia and Granzi played on the minds of the Stars and Jeruselem took full advantage, putting two goals past goalkeeper Troy Perkins just 11 minutes in and coasting to an easy 2-0 win in the opening match of the Cup of Harmony.

"We just were not sharp out there at all," Coach Bryan Marshall said. "We have to give a professional effort starting with tomorrow's match or we'll be on the outside looking in."

The defense, which was so solid for much of the World Cup qualifying campaign and in the third place match at the AOCAF tournament was wrong-footed on the third minute tally by forward Barack Shabmaran.

"I committed too early when he made a move," defender Lance Alcina said. "I let a youth league move get the best of me." While Alcina took the blame for the first goal, it was Perkins who was at fault for the 11th minute tally.

Jeruselem United midfielder and Cup of Harmony team captain Mimi Goldstein sent a ball into the box that was intended for the right crossbar. Perkins thought the ball would be cleared by central defender Corey Hemby and didn't cover the corner, but when Hemby missed a tackle on Goldstein, forward John Gregorium headed the ball home.

"I made a mental and a physical blunder," Perkins said. "I can't let it happen again."

Marshall sent goalkeeper Mark Tanner in following the Gregorium marker and the defense played much tighter, allowing only two shots on goal for the rest of the match, but the Jeruselem defense consistently thwarted the Stars' chances.

"We have to play a hell of a lot better against Lovisa," Stars' midfielder and team captain Bobby Convey said. "They're going to be angry too, coming in after Kylaai beat them. We're going to have to be ready to take their best shot and give our own back to them."

Jeruselem Government News

Jeruselem reserves shine as SARS panic hits Sarzonia

Playing in the SARS-free The Lowland Clans, the Jeruselem beat the former hosts Sarzonia 2-0 to start the Cup of Harmony campaign well. Two early goals sunk the otherwise preoccupied Sarzonia team and fought off a spirited but lacklustre comeback from the Stars.

The Jeruselem coach visited the Sarzonian rooms later to tell them his government was truly shocked at the SARS outbreak in Sarzonia and will help if requested to do so. One of the Jeruselem players, also a Christian Priest, offered the Sarzonian team some of his time to help out with dealing with SARS situation.

Lovisa was shocked losing 2-0 to outsider Kylaai in an early upset. The Lovisan coach could not be contacted for comment. While Group A had an upset, the favourites for group B won their games with World Cup regular Snub Nose 38 having the best result winning 3-0.

GROUP A (TLC)
Lovisa 0 Kylaai 2
Jerusalem 2 Sarzonia 0 (John Gregorium 1, Barack Shabmaran 1)

GROUP B (Rejistania)
The Weegies 1 Insane Inflation 0
Snub Nose 38 3 The Evil Umpire 0

No discernable errors this time...I'm getting better and better ;)

MD2 Scores & Tables
GROUP A (TLC)
Lovisa 1 Sarzonia 0
Jerusalem 1 Big Pimento 0

GROUP B (Rejistania)
Snub Nose 38 1 the Weegies 2
Insane Inflation 0 Oaker 2


Region 1 Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Jerusalem 6 2 0 0 3:0 3
2. Kylaai 3 1 0 0 2:0 2
3. Lovisa 3 1 0 1 1:2 -1
4. Big Pimento 0 0 0 1 0:2 -1
5. Sarzonia 0 0 0 2 0:3 -3
Region 2 Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. The Weegies 6 2 0 0 3:1 2
2. Snub Nose 38 3 1 0 1 4:2 2
3. Oaker 3 1 0 0 2:0 2
4. The Evil Umpire 0 0 0 1 0:3 -3
5. Insane Inflation 0 0 0 2 0:3 -3

Reporter: Mr Erhardt, was there a reason to participate in this competition at all?

Ludwig Erhardt: To get some further experience. our Abysmali manager said it was a good idea.

Reporter: Abysmali would also be a description of your performance!

LE: not really. None of the 3 goals we conceded were own goals.

Reporter: Apart from that, no goal scored, three goals concede, did I say no points at all?

LE: You didn't.

Reporter: well, now I did.

LE: Ravea got no single point in the entire qualifiers.

Reporter: I think the abysmal tem manager is a bad influence.

LE: I was just comparing how bad we could have been. You might know as reporter that our government is strict against any critics, very strict. You just critised the FAoII and by this the government

Reporter: (turns pale) Will you report me?

LE: yes

Reporter runs head over heel away.

Stars can't dent scoreboard, lose 1-0

Regardless of distractions or other issues plaguing the Sarzonian national team, the team has a major problem on its hands. Despite a spirited performance from the team, it lost a 1-0 decision to the group's top seeds Lovisa that left the Stars in last place in Region 1 heading into the off day.

"It's time to stop using excuses like, 'oh, our country has SARS, oh, our close friends were attacked'," a frustrated Coach Bryan Marshall said. "We need to get results and we're not getting them. This is a disgrace."

Goalkeeper Troy Perkins played a much better match this time than he did in the Jeruselem match, but he couldn't react in time to an 84th minute header by legendary striker Georg Lunz off a corner kick. Despite the best efforts of the Stars offense, including a 3-4-3 formation the last 22 minutes, the Stars still have not scored in a match not involving an AOCAF opponent since the finale of the World Cup qualifying stages against Pure Evil.

"We need to score, and we need to do it in bunches," forward Brian Wilson said. "Right now, we aren't making the most of our opportunities. We're now in a position where we have to win both matches if we want to have any hope of advancing to the knockout stages."

Marshall held up a newspaper from Big Pimento where it predicted the Stars could be a dark horse candidate to win the Cup of Harmony.

"This is a joke," Marshall said. "You saw us out there. We have played two matches and we have nothing to show for it. We'll be lucky to get one point out of this tournament."

The Daily Indoctrinator
Lies!!! Nothing But Lies!!!

Disregard that 3-nil score of us losing to Snub Nose 38, it's lies! Those cartoon characters from the Frost-Free Borderlands forfeit after three spins of Ice Ice Baby! The Lowland Clans can't report scores right! Oaker has three points without playing a game! Hail 8-bit!

The Daily Indoctrinator
Lies!!! Nothing But Lies!!!

Disregard that 3-nil score of us losing to Snub Nose 38, it's lies! Those cartoon characters from the Frost-Free Borderlands forfeit after three spins of Ice Ice Baby! The Lowland Clans can't report scores right! Oaker has three points without playing a game! Hail 8-bit!The Minister of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages had this to say.

"We resemble that remark."

He had these additional comments.

"Bugs (Bunny) scored two goals in this match, one in the first half (32nd minute) and one in the second (85th minute). Speedy (Gonzalez) also scored (79th minute). Bugs had a little problem with wearing the boots - said his toes were cramped - also mentioned something about seeing a doctor (editorial note: What Mr. Bunny actually said was, "Ahhh...what's up, Doc?") about it."

When asked what happened in the second match, the Minister had this to say:

"Second match?"

Someone who was only identified as "Margaret" noted that the Hooligans did score a goal in the second match (Mr. Bunny in the 56th minute), and went on to make a rather large number of disparaging remarks about The Weegies, Weegies in general, and specifically the 11 Weegies who were featured in the match.

Jeruselem Government New

Lovisa put down Sarzonia as Jeruselem win BIG

Poor old Sarzonia lost to top seed Lovisa 1-0 in a crucial game. With their home nation suffering from a bout of SARS, Sarzonia need the win to get back on track but Lovisa were not to be denied to got the three points required.

Big Pimento with their foot-in-mouth coach Wally Wonkstein, lost to Jeruselem 1-0. The Jeruselem team on the Cup of Harmony XVII does not resemble the World Cup team in any way and has been bagged as the "useless reserve team" by some tosser commentators. They showed the depth of the Jeruselem junior team and the strength of the Jeruselem U-21 system. "Shami" scored the only goal after weaving his way through a tough defense and chipping over the keeper who seemed to be having a snooze at the time.

The Weegies knocked over Snub Nose 38 with a narrow win to show who is boss in Group B. Oaker's first game gave them a win over an Insane Inflation team who showed how insane they were.

MD2 Scores & Tables
GROUP A (TLC)
Lovisa 1 Sarzonia 0
Jerusalem 1 Big Pimento 0

GROUP B (Rejistania)
Snub Nose 38 1 the Weegies 2
Insane Inflation 0 Oaker 2

No discernable errors this time (really)...I'm getting better and better ;)

MD3 Scores & Tables
GROUP A (TLC)
Lovisa 3 Jeruselem 1
Kylaai 0 Big Pimento 0

GROUP B (Rejistania)
Snub Nose 38 2 Insane Inflation 1
The Evil Umpire 2 Oaker 1


Region 1 Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Jerusalem 6 2 0 1 4:3 1
2. Lovisa 6 2 0 1 4:3 1
3. Kylaai 4 1 1 0 2:0 2
4. Big Pimento 1 0 1 1 0:2 -1
5. Sarzonia 0 0 0 2 0:3 -3
Region 2 Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Snub Nose 38 6 2 0 1 6:3 3
2. The Weegies 6 2 0 0 3:1 2
3. Oaker 3 1 0 1 3:2 1
4. The Evil Umpire 3 1 0 1 2:4 -2
5. Insane Inflation 0 0 0 3 1:5 -3

Stars Coach Killed in Crash!

Sarzonian national team coach Bryan Marshall, a man who led his team to tremendous success in its early days, was killed in a car accident after leaving the Stars' training facility as the team practiced for a critical match against Kylaai in the team's Cup of Harmony tournament.

The death of Marshall adds one more chapter in the unfortunate recent history of the Sarzonian football program, which saw the outbreak of the SARS virus remove the tournament from Sarzonia and the team open with two losses in its first two matches of the tournament.

"This is a huge blow for the national side," Vice President for Health and Athletics Jimmy Marshall said. "Besides the fact he was my younger brother, he's been a fixture on the sidelines and it's going to be very hard to replace him." Marshall didn't answer any further questions, walking from the platform in tears.

The team announced that assistant coach Dave Wilson would become the team's interim head coach for the remainder of the Cup of Harmony. Wilson said the team would use its offday to grieve for their former coach and promised the team would be "focused more than ever" against Kylaai.

"We're playing for Bryan, that's for sure," Wilson said. "He's been such a great guy for our program that it's going to be a painful time for all of us."

In his last press conference before the match against Kylaai, Marshall said he was worried about the team's mental state going into the match against a team it beat 4-0 in the Baptism of Fire Cup. That score was tied for the greatest victory in Sarzonian senior national team history until the team throttled Giant Zucchini 5-0 at the Round Table in Nicksia, a venue temporarily dubbed the Blender.

"[Kylaai is] a much better football team than they were the first time we faced them. They've gotten some good results lately and they're four points ahead of us for the third spot in the knockout stages. We're going to need to come out firing, no question about it."

Defence Stalwart; Offence Bumbling
Pimentos have several positive to draw upon for stretch run

Big Pimento was always known as a good defensive team. They very seldom get blown out of the water and they’re tough, gritty style on the back line is beginning to win them international recognition. Observers knew that the success for the Pimento’s back five was coming, but no one would have predicted it would come this soon.

One goal against in two games? That’s ridiculous. A simply awesome defensive performance that could rival the world’s best. The D has looked quick, they’ve look tough, they’ve looked good. They’ve been good. Damn good.

But despite the stellar performance the Pimento defenders have turned in so far in the tournament, they just haven’t been getting the goal support. After two games, Big Pimento has scored zero goals, an almost as unpredictable mark of futility as the defence’s success has been.

Charles “Sargent” Pepper continues to struggle on the international stage despite putting up good numbers in league play and it appears he may soon be taken off this team. The heightened pace of play seems to leave Pepper lost. Boris Valentine hasn’t been scoring either, although he hasn’t looked as badly out of place as Pepper. Valentine got a great chance in the Kylaai game where he beat the keeper with a hard, low shot but was unable to beat the upright.

As a result of the polar opposite play on opposite sides of the field, Big Pimento now find themselves in fourth place in the group, three points behind Kylaai for the final playoff slot. They’ve managed one loss and an unimpressive scoreless draw. With the next two games against Lovisa and Sarzonia, Big Pimento will be forced to step it up. If the defence can maintain the sparkling form they’ve shown and the offence can finally find their stride, the Pimentos may be primed to pull off a few upsets.

Note: The entire Big Pimento side will be wearing a black armband with the Sarzonian F.A. crest to honour fallen manager, Bryan Marshall. This armband will accompany the one already worn by the Pimentos to pay hommage to Guy Santos, the Brazillican striker whose life was also claimed by a tragic car accident.

Jeruselem Goverment News

Sarzonian national team dies in car crash!

Sarzonian national team coach, Bryan Marshall, died after a tragic car crash to compound the Sarzonia teams problems. Sarzonia had the bye in round 3 and it really need it today. Dave Wilson will take over as the new coach and we wish Sarzonia's luck improves on match day 4.

Today a Jeruselem diplomat handed Sarzonian officials a cheque for $US 100,000 to be donated to the family of Bryan Marshall. "On behalf of the Queen of Jeruselem and people of Jeruselem, we feel for the family of Bryan Marshall and his devotion to his chosen mission in life. We cannot heal the scars of his death, but we don't want his family to worry about making ends meet."

Lovisa who seem to Jeruselem's bogey team, did it again. Jeruselem lost 3-1 and continued their run of losses to Lovisa since World Cup XVII and now the Cup of Harmony XVII. Captain Mimi Goldstein spoke to the press "Look, this is not Jeruselem's world cup team and we played Lovisa's World Cup team. After this, we really need to tighten up our goal clearances and reduce silly fouls.".

Kylaai and Big Pimento fired blanks to take nil all draw in the other Group B game.

MD3 Scores & Tables
GROUP A (TLC)
Lovisa 3 Jeruselem 1
Kylaai 0 Big Pimento 0

GROUP B (Rejistania)
Snub Nose 38 2 Insane Inflation 1
The Evil Umpire 2 Oaker 1

I did this MD since TLC is busy IRL, has problems with leagion or both.

MD4 Scores & Tables
GROUP A (TLC)
Lovisa 0 Big Pimento 1
Sarzonia 3 Kylaai 1
GROUP B (Rejistania)
Snub Nose 38 2 Oaker 1
The Weegies 2 The Evil Umpire 1

Region 1 Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Jerusalem 6 2 0 1 4:3 1
2. Lovisa 6 2 0 2 4:4 0
3. Kylaai 4 1 1 1 3:3 0
4. Big Pimento 4 1 1 1 1:1 0
5. Sarzonia 3 1 0 2 3:4 -1
Region 2 Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Snub Nose 38 9 3 0 1 8:4 4
2. The Weegies 9 3 0 0 5:2 3
3. Oaker 3 1 0 2 4:4 0
4. The Evil Umpire 3 1 0 2 3:6 -5
5. Insane Inflation 0 0 0 3 1:5 -3

I can not promise that things are absolutely flawless...

I can not promise that things are absolutely flawless...

OOC - I think that Big Pimento is only at 1 GA (Jeruselem 1 Big Pimento 0/Kylaai 0 Big Pimento 0/Lovisa 0 Big Pimento 1)

IC-

UPSET!
Giant killers strike once more

It seems as though Big Pimento saves their best matches for their best opposition and they proved that again yesterday. Lovisa, ranked 15th in the world, got beaten 1-0 yesterday in what's being regarded as the most improbable result of the Harmony Cup so far.

Big Pimento kept up the trend of sensational defending. Lovisa's star striker, Georg Lunz, was held to only one shot on target, a weak effort which was easily handled by Pedro Madhavapeddi. The other trend of this cup has been the Pimento's lack of offense, and although they didn't run up the score, they were able to find the goal they needed, when Selecao struck a brilliant free kick from 20 yards out.

This victory by Big Pimento, coupled with Sarzonia's first triumph of the Harmony Cup, has really tightened the group. Big Pimento, who now sit out of third place on goals for alone, could finish anywhere from top of the group to the bottom. A victory will ensure a playoff birth and a loss would ensure a wooden spoon. That final match will come against Sarzonia, a team who really seemed to find their legs for the first time. Perhaps the tragic and untimely passing of their manager served as a rallying cry for the entire team.

The Sarzonian F.A. has refused to wear the SARS-Proof full body suits, leaving manager Wally Wonkstein little recourse but to dress the Pimentos in them. At a press conference, Wonkstein modelled the new uniforms, an all-white number with a clear plastic bubble for the head. "I think they'll be intimidaded when they see us in these," said Wonkstein at the press conference, "The bubble ensures great peripheral vision, and honestly, we look mean in these. I mean, look at me. Do I not look mean?"

So it appears the almost non-existant chances of the Pimentos contracting SARS have been eradicated, but we'll see if the confidence from that will result in stronger play. A victory tomorrow would do wonders for the Pimento football programme.

http://www.cedmagic.com/featured/007/dn-2-4338-dr-no.jpg
Wonkstein at press conference

Stars lessen grief, beat Kylaai 3-1

The Sarzonian national team has had little go right in the Cup of Harmony. From an outbreak of the SARS virus to two straight losses to the teams at the top of the table to the loss of Coach Bryan Marshall, the Stars had a disasterous stretch run. The grieving Stars lessened some of the trauma by beating Kylaai 3-1 behind two goals from forward Brian Wilson and a goal from rookie forward Kenny Cooper.

"It was almost a relief getting out on the pitch for this match," interim Coach Dave Wilson said. "After the way things have been going, this was great just to get this match played.

"I thought we played pretty well given the circumstances but it's nice to get a win under our belts."

"This was huge for us to win this match," Brian Wilson said. "We're going to need to win our last match and we're facing a tough opponent in Big Pimento. We're going to have to play one of our best matches in a long time and hope that Kylaai loses."

Team officials said the team could advance if they beat Big Pimento by two goals no matter what happened in the Kylaai match, but midfielder and team captain Bobby Convey said the team is not counting on an easy win.

"Look at how they've played in the World Cup and in this tournament," Convey said. "They just beat Lovisa for Pete's sake. If we sleepwalk in this match, we're done."

Jeruselem Government News

Jeruselem top Group A despite bye

It was Jeruselem's turn for a bye and they still topped the group due to some upsets. Big Pimento tipped over Lovisa 1-0 in a boilover for their first win of the Cup of Harmony. Sarzonia recovered from their disasters and beat Kylaai in a moral boosting win. Despite this, they are still last behind Big Pimento.

Snub Nose 38 and The Weegies continue their merry ways with 2-1 wins leaving the rest trailing in their dust.

MD4 Scores & Tables

GROUP A (TLC)
Lovisa 0 Big Pimento 1
Sarzonia 3 Kylaai 1

GROUP B (Rejistania)
Snub Nose 38 2 Oaker 1
The Weegies 2 The Evil Umpire 1

OOC: Sorry guys, further RL problems have gotten to me again, will post the MD5 tomorrow.

*we find ourselves at a news stand in downtown sten, capital of the frost free borderlands of snub nose 38. behind the kiosk, on which stacks of several news papers are displayed, stands the proprietor - watching a tiny tv. it's aspn. no one seems to be stopping to pick up a paper. we stopped only because we noticed something odd about the front pages. what we see is...*

Scuttlebutt - Morning Edition

Cup of ... Harmony?
Sten Mike Easter








------------------------------------------
The Remington County Record

Harmonious Hooligans?
Sten Lauren D'Order










-------------------------------------------

*there...um...well...there just isn't anything there. our attention turns to aspn on the proprietors little tv. a reporter sits behind a desk. on the wall behind him are two jerseys, side by side - snub nose 38 colors, and oaker colors. above them is an embossed logo of the cup of harmony.*

...ligans ahead in Group B on 9 points after their latest match in Rejistania, a 2 - 1 win over Oaker. They seem to be ahead of The Weegies solely on Goal Differential, as The Weegies also won their latest match 2 - 1 over The Evil Umpire. The Weegies...now...

Um...Oaker is...uh...

About all we can say regarding the Evil Umpire is that...well, they're...

Okay, so Jeruselem and Lovisa are leading Group A tied on 6 points, with Jeruselem barely ahead by Goal Differential as well. The...er...it's...

Ah...yes. Recently knighted Hooligan Striker Sir Bugs of Bunny scored both goals in the Oaker match. Sir Bugs said...well, he implied...he actually meant to say...

...blast...

Over in Group A the competition is...they played a...

Ah...I...well, that's all the sports news from ASPN today. Tune in tomorrow and...um...

*as the credits begin to roll across the screen we overhear our intrepid reporter, turning to the wings, say*

"Cup of Harmony? How in bloody flippin' 'ell am i supposed to report on anything harmonious in Snub Nose 38? What? Still on the...omigod!...

*he blushes, and glances at the camera. we find this an opportune time to take our leave.*

MD5 Scores & Tables
GROUP A (TLC)
Jeruselem 1 Kylaai 2
Sarzonia 0 Big Pimento 4
GROUP B (Rejistania)
Insane Inflation 2 The Evil Umpire 1
The Weegies 0 Oaker 0

Region 1 Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Big Pimento 7 2 1 1 5:1 4 Q
2. Kylaai 7 2 1 1 5:4 1 Q
3. Jerusalem 6 2 0 2 5:5 0 Q
4. Lovisa 6 2 0 2 4:4 0
5. Sarzonia 3 1 0 3 3:8 -5
Region 2 Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. The Weegies 10 3 1 0 5:2 3 Q
2. Snub Nose 38 9 3 0 1 8:4 4 Q
3. Oaker 4 1 1 2 4:4 0 Q
4. The Evil Umpire 3 1 0 3 4:8 -4
5. Insane Inflation 3 1 0 3 3:6 -3

Seeding for Elimination Rounds

1. The Weegies
2. Snub Nose 38
3. Big Pimento
4. Kylaai
5. Jeruselem
6. Oaker

MD Schedule for Next MD
Quarter Finals - Big Pimento vs Oaker - Rejistania, Hetkali Hetaki Stadium
Quarter Finals - Kylaai vs Jeruselem - The Lowland Clans, Limassol Memorial International Stadium

Stars 'humiliated' in 4-0 loss

The Sarzonian national team was afraid of this. Despite Big Pimento's status as a newcomer to the international stage, they had a string of successful results including their shocking 1-0 upset of highly ranked Lovisa. With the Stars a distracted side coming into this tournament, the scene was ripe for disaster.

That disaster struck when Big Pimento poured four goals behind a suddenly leaky Stars defense and a team billed as being a dark horse instead packed its bags for a return trip home after a 4-0 loss.

"We were absolutely humiliated out there," midfielder Bobby Convey said. "Coaches warned us about [Big Pimento] from Day 1 of the draw and we weren't able to string two passes together. It sucks. It just sucks."

Forward Charles "Sargeant" Pepper scored two goals, in the 14th and 18th minutes, and chased starting goalkeeper Troy Perkins. Mark Tanner came in and conceded goals to forward Boris Valentine in the 44th minute and defender and team captain Jalapeno Lewis in the 47th. Interim Coach Dave Wilson put Perkins back into the match after Lewis's goal, but the Stars could do nothing right.

Convey resigned as team captain following the match, but Wilson convinced him to remain on the national team. The players and coaches elected forward Brian Wilson as the new captain. Brian Wilson is the coach's son.

"I'm very disappointed that we just flat out had a poor effort out there," Dave Wilson said. "I told the lads after the match that they played like they couldn't wait to get home. I won't let that happen again."

Some pundits and fans suggested that the Incorporated Football Federation could name a permanent head coach more quickly after the flame out by the Stars in the match against Big Pimento, but a source with the federation who spoke on condition of anonymity dismissed it as "sour grapes."

"We're going to take our time to ensure that the right candidate for the job emerges and we're going to be very careful about how we integrate him into the picture," the source said. "That candidate may well be Dave Wilson. One match is not going to rule him out of contention."

The Stars will prepare for their third attempt at World Cup qualifying after falling one match short each of the first two times. But the loss to Big Pimento will likely leave the team with a bad taste in their mouths for some time to come.

"We can put most losses behind us," Brian Wilson said. "This one, not so easily."

*Cut to Pimento Sportsnet's nightly Sports Round-Up. A lone, well groomed man sits alone behind a wooden desk with blue wallpaper looking as though as it was ripped straight from The Police's 1985 World Tour bus adorning the walls. It's the kind of shabby design you'd expect from a local news station in a town of about 100,000 in most industrialized nations, but this was national in a nation where money was hard to come by.*

Big Pimento has earned an international reputation as a difficult team to beat. Not because they win all that often, their three international victories in seventeen matches will attest to that, but rather that they get a lot of draws thanks to their tough, stingy style of play. Those three goals were all of the one goal variety, with most of their losses following suit. Big Pimento had yet to blow a team out of the water. Until last night.

*Camera shot switches back over to a training facility, filled with men who look more like astronauts than football players.*

The Big Pimento side jogged out onto the pitch in their full-body SARS-Proof suits. A few changes had been made to the ones Wonkstein was modelling the previous day. The suits now adorned some of Big Pimento's national colors, with a diagonal green stripes going from the left shoulder to the right hip, a red beltstrap and the Pimento Football Association crested embroidered tidely on the right breast. In addition, players' numbers were added in from and back in red with a green outline, along with names fully enscribed in block letters in red.

In addition, the soft plastic cylindrical wrap around headcovers were jugged after a practice session with the suits, when one of the players was quoted as saying, "The corpse of Louis XVI would've probably had more success heading the ball than us". Equipment managers slaved all night attaching new headpieces, this one made from a sturdy yet lightweight transluscent polymer shaped in spherical fashion. Just think of them as £3,000 fishbowls.

*Camera angle cuts over to Limassol Memorial stadium, packed to full capacity underneath a clear twilight*

It didn't take long to see whether the Pimentos had gotten acclamated to the suits or not, since they drew first blood in the fourth minute. Boris Valentine received the ball near the top of the box and surveyed the situation briefly. He then passed it across to Selecao, who played a lovely back heel into the box to Pierre Poivron, who then passed back across the box. It appeared as though Valentine was in no position to reach the ball, but he launched himself forwards with a baseball slide, slid across the grass and got his big toe in the ball to divert in the largely vacant net. A lovely goal set up by brilliant first touches by Selecao, Poivron and Valentine and it appeared that the teflon-coated suits which were once believed to be a huge disadvantage to the Pimentos were working in their favor.

The SARS-Suited Pimentos struck once more in the 17th Minute with the familiar suspects. Selecao leading a promising rush down the left flank and plays a cross into the box towards a streaking Charles "Sargent" Pepper. Mike Coyle does a good job to get a leg on it and deflect it but it's still going towards net. Troy Perkins is off his line. Oh no! Tragedy strikes once more for the Sarzonians as the corner gone awry finds itself in the back of the net! 2-0 for the Pimentos!

With Sarzonia still reeling, Big Pimento rubbed salt in their still open wounds. Tajiri Sukohara exploiting the right flank and making a good run upfield. He whips the cross towards the extremity of the box. Boris Valentine's there... Stops. Pops. Header. Score! Perkins was playing this one cautiously after being burned and was too deep on the line to do anything. But what a rocket off Boris Valentine's head, check that, glass bubbledome. I'm not sure if I've ever seen a header thumped that hard.

Sarzonian's now trying to pull one back in injury time. Bobby Convey plays a long ball in towards Brian Wilson. The Pimento's offside trap has failed! Wilson's in the clear, he shimmies to try to get Madhavapeddi to commit to something. Cocks back for the shot, but oh, it's taken away. Branislav Rachunek comes sliding in from out of nowhere to strip the ball cleanly from Wilson and the Sarzonian threat is over. Teflon 2 Sarzonia 0.

We're late in the second half now and the score is still 3-0. Big Pimento have dug Sarzonia's grave, called the undertaker, buffed and polished the headstone and now it looks like they're going for the final nail in the coffin. Pimentos demonstrating some smart passing, we haven't seen this kind of skill from upfront yet in this cup. Poivron plays a long ball into substitute Omore Ngogadi and he's hauled down. That's right on the edge of the box, what's the ref gonna rule? PENALTY! Boris Valentine's gonna take this one and remember, he's on a hat trick. Steps forward, shoots, SCORES! He's done it! That's the first hat trick in Big Pimento history and he'll go down in history for this cracking performance today. What a game. He was 0-for the tournament prior to this match and he's broken out of his slump with a hat trick. Fantastic!

And that'll be all for the Sarzonians. It's been a tough few weeks for them with all the tragedy, heartache and distractions surrounding this team, but they fought valiently throughout. This emphatic exit to the tournament can do nothing but add to their heartbreak, but they'll look back on this as a learning experience in a few years and they'll be back stronger as ever. This will be a team to be reckoned with in the future.

*Camera goes to Wonkstein in the tunnel*

"Well I reckon they filtered out all the smog from around the stadium," said manager Wally Wonkstein, beaming after the nation's biggest win, both in terms of magnitude and goal difference. "The Lowland Clans does have a powerhouse of an automobile industry, so I figure these suits may have produced an advantage in terms of respitory benefits. As for the freakish heading and twelve-yard sliding ability, I can assure you that those were purely coincidental. In any event, we're seriously think about keeping these suits around for good."

*Back to the ghetto studio*

But all is not rosy for Pimento football. The Pimento F.A. are considering registering a complaint since they are not slated for a bye to the semi-finals despite winning their group. In a press release by the F.A., they stated, "We won the frickin group, we should get a bye to the semi-finals. It's hypocritical to send Oaker to the quarters because they finished third in Group B, despite collecting less points than Lovisa in Group A who are fourth and out. Now we agree that keeping Lovisa out of the first-round is a good idea, because they're damn good, but we want our bye!" Ahhh. Written with the class and deliverance we've come to expect from our beloved F.A. Officials. We'll bring you the developments in this case as they come.

<OOC edit:>For historical purposes, Sarzonia's account of the match will stand, but I don't really have time to make my whole RP mesh with his/hers and I don't feel like deleting it. Cheers.

...hmmm...

now, if that large pimento's arguement gets taken seriously...

...and it might...

...and since only two sides can get a "bye" in the next round...

...then who...

WHOA! HOLD ON THERE JUST A MINUTE!
...that would be...the Hooligans?

Er...sorry, l'il pimento guy...we vote no, thank you.

(;))

[OOC: Actually, the way a system like this should work is this: The two group winners automatically are considered the top seeds, no matter how they fall in the actual standings. That's the way it works in American professional sports: If the Philadelphia Eagles win the NFC East with a 9-7 record and the Chicago Bears finish in second place in the NFC North, but finish 12-4, they'd still be considered the lower seed even though they had a better won-loss record than Philadelphia did. In that case, if Big Pimento wins Region 1, they are considered the number 2 seed, even if Oaker has a higher point total.]

hmm, i'd prefer to see a R.o.W. system than a U.S.A. system being used for football-related matters (the teams who win the group are seen as more deserving of getting/going wherever than a team who finished second but won more games) but seeing as im not involved imana back off.

BP has my support for any action he wants to take though. :)

ooc: not to worry - i don't really care which way it goes. it's all a game. just thought that would make an interesting "rp"...

Quarter-finals Scores
TLC - Limassol Memorial International Stadium
Kylaai 3 Jeruselem 0
Rejistania - Hetkali Hetaki Stadium
Big Pimento 1 Oaker 0

Semi Final Fixtures
The Weegies vs Kylaai - Rejistania, Hetkali Hetaki Stadium
Snub Nose 38 vs Big Pimento - TLC, Limassol Memorial International Stadium

NOTE: To those who disagree with my qualifying methods, to you I say nee! Sorry, was watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail last night, hehe. Anyways, Big Pimento: you got a nice practice round in :P No harm no foul, but even had you lost, I wouldn't have changed it.

*think "Tarantela"*

Big Pimento! Big Pimento!
On a pizza with extra cheese!
A side order of antipasto!
(what's left over we can just freeze)

Big Pimento! Big Pimento!
(say gesundheit, somebody sneezed)
Hooligans are going to crush you!
(is that the knocking of somebodies knees?)

Vegetation playing football!
Not as odd as maybe it seems!
It's just like a Giant Zucchini!
(and several other edible teams!)

So we welcome Big Pimento
to a match in Hooligan-ese
Where we'll stomp 'em into the grasses,
flat on their asses, if you please!

(sung by the Hooligan Cheerleaders on the bus on the way to the Big Pimento match. That is, the match with Big Pimento - not a large match with a pimento. I mean, am I being clear about this? Pimento, Big, one each? Who picked that name, anyway? Why not Big Anchovie? Oh, well...)

NOTE: To those who disagree with my qualifying methods, to you I say nee!

OOC: Or even "Ni". :P

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/kylaai.jpgThe Reformed Islands of Kylaai


Ho Hai! Here we go! This is our time! We are the Reformed Islands of Kylaai, and we are reforming to the top of the Cup of Harmony! We will achieve victory over the Weegies! Then Win it All!!!

Norada-Fell is leading the team in goals! What an attacking threat on the left side! He should be knighted! Alas! We shall knight him! Sir Norada-Fell! Sir Norada-Fell! Sir Norada-Fell!

We'll see Norada-Fell in the semi finals, along with the rest of the Kylaai Team!

The Kylaai Team for the Semi Final will be

Goalkeeper: Mandoo Nania
Defenders: Lital Tirar, Hito Burrito, Vito Frito, Max
Midfielders: Rising Sun, Macala Moria, Tennence Fleiam, Norada-Fell
Attackers: Mazu Kazu, Vlanti Vimorta

The Reformed Islands of Kylaai were not allowed to play in the World Cup until they became reformed, as they were previously known as the Nudest Islands of Kylaai and therefore they did not want to wear a Kit but they would not be allowed in the world cup playing without a Kit, but they have now reformed and have become Delegate so they will now wear a kit and participate in the world cup.

Jeruselem Government News

Jeruselem Kylaai-ly disappear from CoH XVII

During match day 5, World Cup big shots Kylaai pushed Jeruselem from 1st to 3rd in Group A with 2-1 win. Despite this Jeruselem still made the quarter finals, but had to play Kylaai again the quarter-fnal in twist of fate then lost again. This time they lost with worse result 0-3 and the youth of team started to show. The "big time" atmosphere simply pushed the youth team into's shell and they never showed their true talent on the day.

The coach was not disappointed "Well, this was not the full World Cup team and we used the Cup of Harmony XVII to blood some young players for the real thing. They choked at wrong moments, but all you can do is encourage them to learn from the experience".

Quarter-finals Scores
TLC - Limassol Memorial International Stadium
Kylaai 3 Jeruselem 0
Rejistania - Hetkali Hetaki Stadium
Big Pimento 1 Oaker 0

MD5 Scores & Tables
GROUP A (TLC)
Jeruselem 1 Kylaai 2
Sarzonia 0 Big Pimento 4
GROUP B (Rejistania)
Insane Inflation 2 The Evil Umpire 1
The Weegies 0 Oaker 0

OOC

Complain complain complain

Quarter-finals Scores
TLC - Limassol Memorial International Stadium
Snub Nose 38 1 Big Pimento 0

Rejistania - Hetkali Hetaki Stadium
The Weegies 0 Kylaai 0 AET: 0:1


Final Fixture
Snub Nose 38 vs Kylaai - TLC, Limassol Memorial International Stadium
Vinali tikira/third place playoff
Big Pimento vs The Weegies - Rejistania, Hetlasane Hetkali Stadium

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/kylaai.jpgThe Reformed Islands of Kylaai

Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun!

The people of Kylaai Chanted on the streets and headed for the Lowland Clans. It was Rising Sun who had done it. It was not Sir Norada-Fell or Mazu Kazu. It was not Max. It was Rising Sun. after nearly two hours of Semi Final football against The Weegies, Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Could it be true? The people of Kylaai did not ask. They only celebrate! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! The Weegies have been defeated! Kylaai is through to the Cup of Harmony Final!

Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun!

Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun!

Will Kylaai be able to continue their momentum into the final match in the Lowland Clans? Will they be able to overcome Snub Nose 38 and win competition for the first time! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Kylaai is through to the final!

Lineup

Goalkeeper: Mandoo Nania
Defenders: Lital Tirar, Hito Burrito, Vito Frito, Max
Midfielders: Rising Sun, Macala Moria, Tennence Fleiam, Norada-Fell
Attackers: Mazu Kazu, Vlanti Vimorta

so - I had this RP, see. And I somehow hit the spacebar, or something...and it's gone. Which really...me off. It was pretty good.

Well...

Water under the bridge. Or, over the dam. Damn bridge.

It was something like this -

--------------------------------------------
*a burp. a large, moist, resounding burp. i mean, really - echoes, and a sense of re-verb. we're talking world class here.*

- There. That wasn't such a Big Pimento after all, was it?

--------------------------------------------

- They won?
- Yessir!
- The Hooligans?
- Absolutley, your Hugeness!
- ...Our Hooligans?
- The same, your Magnanimousity!
- The Hooligans who so badly stank up WC17?
- Themselves, your Intrepidity!
- Did they cheat?
- Pardon, your Eminentitude?
- Did they cheat?
- Cheat, your Highness and Mightyness?
- DID...THEY...CHEAT!!
- ...gack!
- Well...did they?
- Just a little, your Loudness
- What little?
- What?
- ...Well? Where's the improperly constructed superlative honorific?
- Er...Your...um...Bigness?
- Not your best effort.
- I'm under pressure here.
- True. Well, about the cheating?
- ...gack!
- Why do you keep on with the "gack"ing?
- Abject fear, your one certainly hopes Mercifulship.
- Oh. And?
- And, your Omnicientness?
- About the cheating, nimwit.
- Ah! The cheating. Um. Your Guy-In-Chargyness.
- What cheating was necessary this time?
- Well, your Stupendisity, I believe it was a little sacrificial supplication of the random number gods.
- Oh. Well...we always do that...
- Of course, your Supremeness. *insert background motown here*
- Who's next?
- No, Who's on first...
- ...I will kindly let that slip.
- oh, my
- Next, then?
- Kylaai, your Fabulosity
- Watch your tongue!
- urp! But...they're called that, your Ever-So-Forgiving-Of-Minions-Ship.
- Too obvious.
- You think so?
- Yes.
- I'll do better next time.
- Alright then. Where were we?
- Page two of the script, down here towards the bottom.
- Thanks.
- No problem.
- Kywhat? Ky-yi-yippie-yi-o?
- Nossir! Kylaai.
- ...Oh. Well, then. Um...who, again?
- Kylaai, your Specialness.
- I'm gonna forget that. Write that down so I don't forget it.
- Just think "Sunrise", your Intelligenciashippyness.
- Oh. Sunset?
- Er...Sunrise, your Forgetmenotitude. *soundtrack from "Fiddler On The Roof"*
- Right. Tell me - does that Margaret person have enough chickens? Send her a dozen chickens. Overnight them. Immediately. In fact, send them yesterday.
- ...gack!
- And stop "gack"ing.

One some comedy channel

"The Cup of Harmony Final. It's Kylaai versus Snub Nose 38" in big letters and dramatic music.

<Image of naked Kylaais running around> - voiceover "How did this nation make it? We don't know but we'll get if their team does the nudey during the final"

<Image of 38 revolver shooting> - voiceover "The top gun, with a 38 special to boot. Will they shoot the nudeys in the nuts? We'll see!"

One some comedy channel

"The Cup of Harmony Final. It's Kylaai versus Snub Nose 38" in big letters and dramatic music.

<Image of naked Kylaais running around> - voiceover "How did this nation make it? We don't know but we'll get if their team does the nudey during the final"

<Image of 38 revolver shooting> - voiceover "The top gun, with a 38 special to boot. Will they shoot the nudeys in the nuts? We'll see!"In an odd (if not ironic) twist of fate, the Legislature of The Frost Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38 today passed a ban on private ownership of guns of any kind.

;)

Elsewhere in the Frost Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38 - or, actually, EVERYWHERE in the Frost Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38 - the outcome of the final match of the Cup of Harmony is awaited with baited breath. The Hooligans have only ever won one cup - The First, and only, Founders Cup. A win in the Cup of Harmony would double the size of the trophy case - temporarily being housed in a third floor closet of the Ministry of Super Secret Sleuthery. A lose...well, the rampage The Guy Currently In Charge Of Stuff For The Frost Free Borlderlands Of Snub Nose 38 went on when the Hooligans made a poor showing in WC17 is fresh in everyone's mind.

Will it be a day of celebration, or destitution?

...eh, Que sera, sera. Let's go have a drink.

Final
Snub Nose 38 1 Kylaai 2 (TLC, Limassol Memorial International Stadium)
Vinali tikira/third place playoff
Big Pimento 1 The Weegies 0 (Rejistania, Hetlasane Hetkali Stadium)

Congratulations and commiserations as applicable.

Heheheheheheheh...

;)

I cant believe kyalii went all the way and won,

we must, i repeat this again, we must watch out for them as they are in our group