NationStates Jolt Archive

I, Lord of Sprokety Evil, have moved this here. This is what has happend so far:

Ha ha ha. You think you are so funny don't you Thulacandria, well let me
tell you this: I will NEVER again fall for the old "here drink this" trick!
I challenge you to a "banjo" duel to the DEATH to take place on the summit
of Mt. Iyebee'em . I give the first strike to you. Commence the making of
horrible noises! SUPERFLUOUS EVIL LAUGHTER! ~ GFB



*Starts playing Mmmm Bop byHanson on his Custom Electric Banjo of Doom(tm) while accompanied by 400 elderly, female, Lithuanian midgets gargling acid, riding on unicycles singing Bohemian Rhapsody in Mongolian*
Take that! ~ Thulacandria


It burns!
*Begins to play Everybody Wang-Chung Tonight on banjo made from the
soulstuff of that kid from Deliverance, while being accompanied by the San
Francisco League of Gay Bagpipers playing a Broadway style medley of Eddy
Murphy's Greatest Hits while a group of ghetto Swahili gang-bangers perform
a heartwarming rendition of the hard core rap song Click B!@#$es
Click Whistle Click Click* ~ GFB


AH... THE PAIN!!
*Plays My Hart Will Go On, while the entire British Parliament(in drag)
sings and dances to the Hamster Dance, accompanied by an Icelandic Gregorian Chanter chanting You Are So Beautiful as he plays said song on a kazoo with his ass.*
Bwuahahahahahahah! ~ Thulacandria


And so it begins...
This epic struggle of madness ant torture. Woe to those foolish enough to
listen! A battle to the death, this amuses me. I shall reward the victor, be
he man or brain, with great treasure.
Behold my sprokety Evil, and know that I am thy God!
~ Jim, God of Sprokets


Rather, "AND torture", though the ants will suffer...
~ Jim, God of Sprokets


*Plays Make em say Uhh*
Beat that biznatch! ~ GFB

Weak! I don't even have to try.
*Plays Don't break my heart(my achy breaky heart) while the real slim shady
sings a medley of Cher's greatest hits in Chinese backed up by a POLKA band*
FOOL! ~ Thulacandria

Both bouts were disappointing attempts at besting your previous abuses of
mankind's collective ear! Kazz entreats upon Holy Jim to allow him to
delegate the duel in an improv-style by giving each participant the tools of
the round of dueling.
For the first round, Kazz grants the duelists free range over New Wave hits
of the 80s, the cast of the original Star Trek, Anglo-Saxon Literature,
Jar-Jar Binks, and Drew Carey in Drag. *laughs maniacally* ~ Kazz the Ubervampire

If both participants agree to these new rules, then I do not see why not.
*summons dramatic flourish for Godly Proclamation*
If both GFB and Thulacandria agree to this than it shall be that Kazz shall
moderate and judge this titanic symphony of malstromic doom and (as long as
they are good), supply the instruments of oblivion. It is GFB's turn.
Jim, God of Sprockets has spoken,
so let it be written,
so let it be done! ~ Jim, God of Sprokets

Agreed. ~ Thulacandria

I agree! ~ GFB

*Plays Amish Paradise while a Chicago album plays backwards in the
background while in the forground, an 800 pound bed-ridden latino man sings
Rico Suave while being rubbed in butter by 7 Chinese grannies chanting in
German; a malnourished albino quadraplegic Yugoslavian amputee screeches the
lyrics to Freak on a Leash while being rolled through a field of brocken
glass and rock salt by a pair of female sumo wrestlers wearing only knee
high rainbow toe socks that are humming the theme to Indiana Jones; and to
the tune of New Wave 80's hit music, the entire cast of the original Star
Trek pummels a cross dressing Drew Carey with the dismembered body of Jar
Jar Binks while reciting Anglo-Saxon literature!*
*Takes a breath* Mwahahahahahah!
Your turn you diabolical dingleberry! ~ GFB

Kazz does this one fall under your rules, If so then it is Thulacandria's turn.

Of course it is, proceed Thulacandria or face my wrath! :fluffle: :mp5:

*plays the theme from I love Lucy while a barbershop Quartet of Captain Kirk Mr. Spok, Lieutenant Commander Ohura and Checov(cant spell, Russian guy) sing a medley of both Metalica's and Brittany Spear's Greatest hits, accompanied by the Teletubbies on crack reciting The Ecclesiastical History of the English People in bad Carpathian accents, while in the background the Mormon Tabernacle Choir belts out every national anthem in Ethiopian and just to the left of this an Iraqi child with the hiccups and a lisp, being juggled along with 3 flaming chainsaws and 2 dead kitties by 2 albino half-black-half-Omicron Persi I 8(ian) twins(one of which is morbidly obese and bathing in lime Jell-O and the other is malnourished and riding a octocycle) sings The Song That Never Ends in Gungan as an homage to Jar Jar Binks*
*nearly collapses*
:upyours: :upyours: :upyours: :upyours: :upyours: :upyours: :upyours:
Take that!!!

From a ridge on a nearby mountainside adjacent to Mt. Ibee'em sat Comitus. Comitus was ancient by any standards, and almost completely insane by any standards as well. He was the real power behind the corporations of the Omni Conglomerates. He often played the corporations against each other to keep the strong and on their toes. All of the people of the nation of the Omni Conglomerates were pawns in a chaotic game that only he understood, but today was not about insane plotting. Today was about enjoying a banjo duel. Comitus was sitting on a massive ivory throne that had been airlifted in, and numerous expensive corporate mercenaries were sitting around him. All were recruited retirees from various elite special forces, but only a select few could withstand the insane ravings of the dueling banjoists. Every now and then, one would break down from the insanity, and would have to be shot. It was certain to be an interesting match.

At long last the great and maniacal Kazz has infiltrated the forums! mwa haha!
Very well! the parameters for this banjo duel to the sprokety death shall be as follows:
Each duelist shall conjure a scene of mortal horror, liken unto the torments of Hell itself, for the enjoyment and satisfaction of random spectators (whose minds aren't rended asunder by the terrific madness), the delight of the ubermaniacal and deliciously wonkered Kazz, and, of course, to settle the ages-old quarrel of honour between these two great nations.
There are no set rules for the aforementioned scenes of horrible maddening madness. The combatant's minds are privy to mental weaponry the likes of which would be sinful to ban or hold in check by set parameters.
The duelists will bout for 6 rounds (or more, if Kazz changes his mind), with Kazz deciding the victor of each. At the end of said rounds, the nation with the most victories wins the duel. In the event of a tie, Kazz shall flip a coin. Then, the armies of both nations, naked and starving, will claw at each other with rusty kitchen utensils on the brimstone fields of Gehenna, and the last man standing (who holds the coin, of course), shall be exsanguinated by Kazz and the opposite nation declared the LOSER. Should this also result in a tie, Both nations will...duel more...or something. *maddening cackle*
:eek: :mp5:

The current score is:
GFB: 2
Thulacandria: 1
:eek: :mp5:

Sigrun: "What in sweet earth is that...horrendous sound?!"
Arleni: *takes a peek from around the rock* "It's some sort of duel...nothing I've seen before...
Sigrun: "I think I need my earmuffs."
Arleni: "We really should kill those two for all of our sakes..."
Sigrun: "And have them love us to death with Barney and Big Bird?!"
Arleni: ...Good point. *hands Sigrun the earmuffs and takes one for her own*

OOC: This has been a IC tag of entertaining purposes!

:mad: *lightning flashes with a boom of thunder*
"Who dares to to enter this relm unbidden. I should strike thee down where you stand." :mad:

Arleni: You hear something?
Sigrun: What?!
Arleni: Nevermind...

Who dares invite the Sprokety Wrath of the Almighty Jim?! I ask you, Jim, to allow me to destroy this intruder with my awesomly powerful psionic mind powers! WOO EEE OOO!
_________________________________________________

Side note: My people are giant brains, they don't wear clothes and cannot be exsanguinated.
_________________________________________________

Kazz, Does that mean that we can use ammo from previous battles now? Does it? Does it? Huh? Huh?...

FOOOOOL!
Kazz can exsanguinate ANYTHING! He is unparalelled at the most sacred art of sucking! :upyours:
And to answer your question: MAYBE. All duels must be original. You may summon Patrick Stewart, for example, time and time again to do your evil bidding, but you may not repeat yourself.
RANDOM PING! :sniper:

Fry him if you wish. I would, however, I have other matters to attend to.

Sigrun: "They don't know of my past history with vampires do they Arleni?"
Arleni: "Apparently not, otherwise, they wouldn't try to be exsanguinating you..."
Sigrun: "They never learn..."

OOC: In case you're wondering, Sigrun is an Elf, but he has a long past history with vampires...both good and bad. Those that know me and my character, know what I'm talking about. The rest will obviously be clueless.

By the way, I'm only keeping an eye on this thread cuz it's really amusing me. I'm only inserting the comments from my "peanut gallery" just for added side humor. :D

OOC: I think i'll join in with some peanut comments of my own. If you're wondering, i'm connected to Tarl here, lol.

IC: Zero joins Sigrun and Arleni

Zero: Hey, Sigrun, what's......argh, what's that noise? It's freaking me out!
Sigrun: Here *hands Zero a pair of earmuffs*
Zero: Ahhh.....that's much better.......

:mad: (ooc: Tarlachia, The Gothic Underworld shut up and leave. This thread is clearly marked Closed. For all the imbeciles out, there this means that only certain people can post here neither of you are in that group, so as I said get out. I do not care about your characters or your goofy comments.

You, of course, can read this thread at your leisure; however, disruptions from the peanut gallery are neither necessary nor appreciated.

I will also ask that you delete your posts here as it breaks up the flow of the madness.) :mad:

OOC: Give it a break, jeez...I thought this thread was supposed to be light-humored? :roll: We were only contributing our part.

Also, for your information, this thread WAS NOT marked as CLOSED before. Having you go back and change it doesn't change that fact. But to satisfy you, I'll leave.

Enjoy your one man comedy.

EDIT: By the way, your name calling insults were uncalled for...

Well, since that foolishness is over with, I say we get on with it. GFB, I believe it is your turn.

Yes, Kazz decrees that it is indeed GFB's turn. Proceed, GFB, with your maddening conjuration.
(ooc: fyi, GFB's having trouble accessing the forums from school. He thinks the site might have been blocked. Luckily, it is relatively temporary, he thinks. The phone is still hooked up to his room, so he has no 'net at home, so GFB may take a while for his turn.)

(On a lighter note, they're almost done restoring the first floor of his house. Evil flooding wrath of Ivan and all that. And yes, I'm posting all this in the thread because I'm both bored and insane. YOU! VIEWER! BE ENTERTAINED BY MY POINTLESS POST!)

:p Haha! That foolish brain is afraid of me!
Post if you dare Oh, lord of tiny lobes! :p

*wearing a GFB costume, also in drag*
Look at me, I'm GFB!
*prances*
Wait, what the f**k? I'm an ubervampire for chrissakes!
:eek: :mp5: :mad:
Post already! Or the great and powerful Kazz will default the duel in Thulacandria's favor...or do nothing at all. Or just continue my mad killing rampage while still in drag.
Yes that sounds lovely.
:eek: :mp5: