NationStates Jolt Archive

AP: Nova-Texas Farming Corporation needs birds!

Toda, the Nova-Texas Farming Corporation announces the establishment of it’s first properties on Zarahemla. We would like to note that we are suffering of certain pest problems. To solve them, the Nova-Texas Farming Corporation would like to establishs several aeries of trained red-tailed hawks throghout our holdings on Zarahemla. We will thank any nation that will agree to sell us 1,000 red-tailed hawk eggs and who will provide the much-needed experties on raising the birds in captivity.

If you join the UFP we can give you them and other subzites to help you

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I think I've got something you may find interesting. I've got exactely 1,000 red-tailed hawk eggs in my garage. It'll set you back about $15.29 though. Our company is not responsible for any eggs breaking or become poached upon delivery, nor shall it be held accountable if some of the eggs seem more like those of a chicken rather than a hawk.

Dyelli Beybi wishes to seel 10,000 eggs for $12 each. It is tripple guaranteed that as much as they may look like hen's eggs, they are honestly red tailed hawks.

From: Nova Texas Farming Corporation
To: Whoever it is in Blaksdria selling them.

"We will happily purchase the egg"

We would be willing to provide the genetic structure of the red-tailed hawk in capsulized DNA form. Our data banks contain the signatures of numerous creatures and life forms from around the galaxy, including that of which you speak.

We would provide these at no charge, providing your government would be willing to open trade negotiations with ours.

We await your response.

Darius Steele
President, Gawdly
Chairman, Heros for Hire

Back Off! Nova-Texas already said they want to buy the eggs from me! Not you! Aha HA Ha Ha HA!! *cough* I mean, erm, we would be happy to supply the bird eggs for you. I can assure you that these eggs are what you truly are seeking, and not some rotten eggs we are trying to get rid of cheaply. If you would like to take advantage of the $15.29 deal, you will have to supply your own method of shipping. If you would prefer that we ship them to you, it will cost another $15,000 plus $15 for every hour. Both are a good deal, I assure you. No jokes. No refunds.

We would be willing to provide the genetic structure of the red-tailed hawk in capsulized DNA form. Our data banks contain the signatures of numerous creatures and life forms from around the galaxy, including that of which you speak.

We would provide these at no charge, providing your government would be willing to open trade negotiations with ours.

We await your response.

Darius Steele
President, Gawdly
Chairman, Heros for Hire

Dyelli Beybi wishes to point out that such DNA in a test tube is as far away from an egg as an ant is from a whale.

Shhhh!

If I sell these, I've got a load of chiba-pets I'll unload on him later...