NationStates Jolt Archive

OOC: This is a test of my writing ability. I am going to be writing a.. Mini novel I guess you could say. Follow along with each section. This isn't a RP.. yet. After each section, I'm open for suggestions and comments (Constuctive critism only please. Not, "tat sucks duidr gett am lifee lol")


Virka Mountain Range, not too long ago...


"Michael, I can't get a clear shot. Move more to the left!" The man screamed into his helmet microphone. Michael, the pilot, nodded and nudged the controls. The small helicopter swayed to the left a bit and the Hind helicopter ahead was in plain view for the man on the other side of the cockpit. After opeining the window to the helicopter, the co-pilot leaned out and aimed an Stinger anti-air missile launcher at the Hind. The missile flew out of the launcher and hit the tail rotor of the huge Hind. "Haha! We did it Michael!" the gunner screamed into the headset as he watched the behmoth go down in flames.

The snow was comign down harder now and visiblity was low. The snow had now completely covered eveyr inch of the mountains and it touched -20 Farenheit on the thermometer. Heinrich Shclass wearily rose from the ground of the crashed Hind. He inspected the situation and poked people to see if they were alive or uncocnious. Miraculously, everyone was fine, but some of the men were badly wounded. Finally everyone was up and tending to the injured. The pilot attempted an SOS yet again, but the signal was all static due to the furious winds. Suddenly the roar of helicopter rotor blade filled the area near the Hind as the two men who shot down the helicopter landed. "Alright, we go in, kill everyone. No mercy. Those plans are not getting to the government." The co-pilot stold the pilot. He nodded and loaded a clip into his Uzi submachine-gun. Both of the men walked towards the helicopter can opened a crumpled door on the side. The soldiers inside cheered. "We're rescued!" screamed one of the injured soldiers. But the gun barrels of the two mens Uzis rose to some of the men. Their cheerful expression quickly faded as the weapons began burping bullet after bullet. "RUN!! GET OUT OF HERE!" screamed a frantic Heinrich, but it was too late. He dashed outside through an opening and tripped on a rock. He heard the ending of the ruthless killing of his comrades end and the two killers step outside. Schlass rolled over and raised a hand at them. "Don't shoot me.. Please! I have a family! A newborn daughter for Christs sake!" he yelled as tears streamed from his eyes. For a moment, he swore he could see compassion in their faces, but then saw the trigger pulled. Instead of the rattle of automatic fire the weapon let out a "click". "Aw dammit! The killer screamed as his comrade handed him a clip. As both fumbled to reload, Heinrich reahced into his pocket and pulled out a revolver and shot both of the men between the eyes. He almost fainted at his luck and ran for the Hind to see if there were any survivors. Everyone was dead. he was to late. He departed the grim scene and boarded the helicopter that shot them down and began to drift into the sky...

Actually, this sin't my best work. But it shall get better eventually! But by all means, rate this as I explained earlier.

Okay, here's some real easy ways to add gloss:

Write everything for an RP or story in MSWord, or OpenOffice, or some other good word processor. (I really recommend MSWord). This will correct spelling and grammar errors... at least most common ones.


Paragraph your works. The rules of paragraphing are simple: Change paragraphs with every topic, and change with every speaker. This means, that whenever someone new starts talking, you need to change paragraphs. Observe this made up scene: "Turn left!" Declared John, pointing to the map. "I think the restaurant is over there."

"I can't see it in this fog!" Stated Bob as he leaned over the wheel.

"So, how about those gas prices?"

"What about 'em?"

"They're high." This may seem to stretch a post out, but it greatly improves readability, and adds a professional look to your posts. This is one of the least used and most abused mechanics rule in NS.


DON'T WRITE IN CAPS IN AN RP. Writing in all capitals is a bad technique. Instead, use italics to emphasize a point. You type "[ i ]" to start an italic style, and "[ /i ]" to end it (without the quotes, obviously, and no spaces). In this way, the word "big" becomes big. This is much nicer to read.


When typing a character's thoughts, put them in italics, and treat them like dialogue when it comes to paragraphing.


I think that's the four basic, easy steps to drastically improve writing style.

K-stan

Wow, thanks. Actually, I always write in Word, and this has worse spelling and effect because it was a rush job. But I really needed to know how to do italics! Thanks!

TAG

OOC: I'd do the same if I have more time on my hands, my friends _Taiwan and Xiaguo have even suggested that I should pen a novel about the Sinoese Army.

Actually, this is horrible work. Check out my other ost, Budestag Destroyed! It will feature a better James Bond like plot, action, proper typing and chese.