NationStates Jolt Archive


The Slani Cup :: Signups/Rosters/RP -- (FULL)

Slanitopia
22-08-2004, 17:20
SLANI CUP 1.0

Hello and Welcome to the Slani Cup.

There will be 14 teams admitted to the Slani Cup.

In the Slani Cup we will play Slaniball.

If you don't know what Slaniball is you will have to guess.

The Nation that comes closest to the correct number of players on their roster will get a bye in the first round. so will the Slanis cause we are hosting. It will be a knockout competition Best of 3 per round.

The Cup is Full. The Correct Number of Players on a Slani Ball Roster : 37.

Treefox gets the Automatic Bye. (23 Players)

NO TEAMS MAY ADD TO THEIR ROSTER.

If you submitted 9 players, you may only play with 9 players. This means only the Slanis will have a full 37. This does not mean you are at a big disadvantage, and here's why:


Slaniball is generally played with 18 players on the field of play at one time, with 18 straight-up subs and 1 extra player. The rules of Slaniball state that every player must play at some point in the match. Teams with less than 18 players will be at an obvious disadvantage, but so is the tournament going to procede. The only way to improve your rank now is by RPing. Obviously Lower Ranked Teams will have to RP more to get back to the top. Scores will be generated by a formula that takes into account the ranks of the two teams playing each other, in addition to a random variable. Scores may be varied, but no information will be given on how Slaniball is played. This is where you get your bonus, from your RP. Anything goes, but if your opponent posts before you, you must go along with what they have already written. You will get a bonus for posting a roster, so long as it contains ONLY as many players as you signed up originally (In Brackets to the right of your Nation in the rankings. If you post a Roster, Please Edit your original Signup Post, and do not post a new reply for the roster. RP's should go in New Posts. The Format of the tournament will include a best of 3 Knockout, posted below. The Winners of each will advance, with Treefox joining in the Quarter Finals. The Winners will Advance to the Semis, then those winners to a Pre-Final. The Winner of the Pre Final will play Slanitopia in a best of 7 to determine the Slani Cup Champion.

Official Slaniball Rankings ::


1- Slanitopia (37)
2- Treefox (23)
3- Castillanos (21)
4- Slanitania (20)
5- The Eagles Nest (18)
6- Isles of Wohlstand (15)
6- Medinat (15)
8- Melmond (13.75)
9- Kingsford (13)
10- Bedistan (9)
11- Commerce Heights (8)
12- Haell (6)
13- Tanah Burung (3.14)
14- Toronto Island (1)


Slani Cup :: First Round Scores

3- Castillanos [1] MD1: [16-2]
-v- MD2: [3-3] - [3-4]AET
14- Toronto Island [1] MD3: [5-5] - [7-5]AET
...........
...........
4- SLANITANIA [2] MD1: [13-3]
-v- MD2: [18-1]
13- E-Tanah Burung [0] MD3: [16-6]
...........
...........
5- The Eagles Nest [2] MD1: [3-3] - [5-5]AET - [5-4]SK
-v- MD2: [1-3]
12- Haell [1] MD3: [9-2]
...........
...........
6-IS. OF WOHLSTAND [2] MD1: [8-8] - [9-8]AET
-v- MD2: [5-5] - [6-6]AET - [5-3]SK
11-E-Commerce Heigh [1] MD3: [4-4] - [4-5]AET
...........
...........
7- Medinat [2] MD1: [13-9]
-v- MD2: [2-4]
10- Bedistan [1] MD3:[4-4] - [5-4]AET
...........
...........
8- Melmond [1] MD1: [7-0]
-v- MD2: [4-5]
9- Kingsford [1] MD3: [8-8] - [8-8]AET - [2-4]SK
...........



::ROUND TWO MATCHUPS::



Only Series Score Shown, Results TG'd

TreeFox [1]
Toronto Island [2]
--------
Castillanos [2]
Kingsford [0]
--------
Slanitania [2]
Starblaydia [1]
--------
The Eagles Nest [1]
Isles of Wohlstand [2]


::ROUND THREE MATCHUPS::


Castillanos v. Toronto Island
Slanitania v. Isles of Wohlstand v. The Eagles Nest
The Eagles Nest
22-08-2004, 20:28
TEN will place 18 members on their roster to play.

They are:

John Smith
Jack Donne
Larry Figaro
Boris Grozny
Leroy Brown
Jack Daw
Kain Rain
Alyssa Segoria
Yamber Smith
Wam Bam
Eag Let
Penny Layne
Cherry Layne
Otis Kirk
Otis Smith
Otis Lerod
Benny Groten
Amy Fischerino
Kingsford
22-08-2004, 20:59
Kingsford puts 13 players on their roster
Bedistan
22-08-2004, 21:59
Bedistan signs up with nine players to be announced.
Isles of Wohlstand
22-08-2004, 22:03
The Isles of Wohlstand will submit 15 players
Dronios
22-08-2004, 22:09
Dronios signs up 14 players...
Hadula
22-08-2004, 22:09
Hadula will sign up 11 team members.
Rejistania
22-08-2004, 22:11
Slanitania (who can't sign up themselves) would like to sign up. We'll send 20 players on our roster. (that name does give us a bye, doesn't it ;))
Castillanos
22-08-2004, 22:59
Castillanos would like to submit 21 players for the Slani Cup
Melmond
22-08-2004, 23:45
Melmond will send 13.75 of its foulest-mouth citizens to the Slani Cup.
Treefox
23-08-2004, 00:28
The RoT will field a team of 23 on the hopes of making a name for its self.
Haell
23-08-2004, 00:41
The Holy Empire of Haell will sign up 6 (six) players for slani ball. Victory will be ours!!!
Shandar
23-08-2004, 00:50
The Prime Minister of Medinat would like me to relay that his nation will sign on 15 players
Commerce Heights
23-08-2004, 00:53
The Capitalizts have put together a squad of /[0-9]+/ players for entry into the slaniball tournament.
Toronto Island
23-08-2004, 01:00
The people of Toronto Island will commit our one and only athlete to the Slani Cup, in hopes of making the oppression of the people of Toronto more well-known.
Tanah Burung
23-08-2004, 01:28
Tanah Burung sends a squad consisting of <pi> players. The three whole-integer players are named Lanny, Curley and Flo. The additional 0.1415 player is composed of a disembodied head and hand nailed to a skateboard and kept alive by a blood transfusion unit located in a parallel dimension, powered by the chanting of 1,000 monks. His name is Stubby.

Tanah Burung also pledges full support for the independence of Toronto Island. A crack team of bicyclists has been dispatched on the Hanlan's Point Ferry.
Slanitopia
23-08-2004, 02:00
Cup Full. The Correct Number of Players on a Slani Ball Roster : 37.

Treefox gets the Automatic Bye. (23 Players)

NO TEAMS MAY ADD TO THEIR ROSTER.

If you submitted 9 players, you may only play with 9 players.

Slaniball is generally played with 18 players on the field of play at one time, with 18 straight-up subs and 1 extra player. The rules of Slaniball state that every player must play at some point in the match. Teams with less than 18 players will be at an obvious disadvantage, but so is the tournament going to procede.

Official Slaniball Rankings ::


1- Slanitopia (37)
2- Treefox (23)
3- Castillanos (21)
4- Slanitania (20)
5- The Eagles Nest (18)
6- Isles of Wohlstand (15)
6- Medinar (15)
8- Melmond (13.75)
9- Kingsford (13)
10- Bedistan (9)
11- Commerce Heights (8)
12- Haell (6)
13- Tanah Burung (3.14)
14- Toronto Island (1)
Treefox
23-08-2004, 02:49
Gavin Rowlands, the team captain of the Republic of Treefox team stands and bows in thanks of the bye.
Castillanos
23-08-2004, 03:14
As the Slanis and the Treefoxes have recieved byes, the Slaniball team of Castillanos is honored to be the #1 team heading into the First Round of competition and are anxious to begin the tournament.
Toronto Island
23-08-2004, 03:59
Toronto Island's one and only name on the roster is none other than Mel Lastman himself. The former mayor turned revolutionary speaks to the press about the island's current political situation:

"It was a bold move for us to unite all the islands in the harbour to one, huge mega-island. But for us to take the greatest island in the world, and declare our independence from the greatest city in the world is an act that truly demands world attention!"

"I think now, with me entering myself into this competition, the corruption and oppression that plagues the region of Toronto will finally come to surface, and hopefully, will be rooted out."

As he stepped down from the podium, tragically, he slipped and broke his leg. As he is the island's only available athlete, however, he will have to play with his unfortunate leg injury.
Melmond
23-08-2004, 05:28
Here is the roster for the Foulmouth Farmers...the hastily put together Melmond Slaniball Team (we just found these guys piss drunk in a backwood bar actually). These are the names they gave us, we don't know if they are their real names. Position is first, name is second.

Icehole: Brokken Kaze
Icehole: Frijole Wofto
Farg: Baldo Ramm
Farg: Rollo Hamm
Farg: Holmo Damm
Farg: Daldo Shamm
Corksucker: Toe Shirazzzzz
Corksucker: @#$%! Cabernay
Corksucker: Ree Beesting
Corksucker: Rosay O'Floggle
Corksucker: Toobunk Chunk
Bastage: Red Heedy
Bastage: Steeple Child
Bastage: Wee Oui (the .75 crazie dwarf)

!@#$%^&*()
Commerce Heights
23-08-2004, 20:29
After a series of surveys to find out if anyone knew what slaniball is, the Commerce Heights Slaniball Association has picked its team for the highly-marketable accounting game. Because of the game's nature, the CHSA has assembled two rosters: one 8-man roster to show to the slani Slanitopian officials, and another 37-man roster to show to the sharehol...er...spectators.

"Official" Roster:
01 PariMedia
02 Air Terranordalis
03 Specific Motors
04 Noble Barns
05 Noka Communications
06 Quantum Arts
07 TechConGroup
08 T3h 00b3r-1337 Alan Belmore

Unofficial Roster:
01 Deedra Bergfield
02 Beata Clowes
03 Elinore Wahpekeche
04 Darius Geney
05 Francene Izard
06 Delsie Vanhoozier
07 Fidel Hoglen
08 Moises Genz
09 Bok Wiggens
10 Edyth Tuckerman
11 Bok Dominici
12 Cliff Goldizen
13 Malleck
14 Bluemel
15 Annita Mcalevy
16 Beata Stichter
17 Frida Scheuvront
18 Moises Branca
19 Ja Mientka
20 Rivka Pruna
21 Elinore Sofranko
22 Tommye Wessler
23 Virgen Sturn
24 Hal Accurso
25 Deedra Keirnan
26 Jeffry Benke
27 Bibi Calibuso
28 Tarra Achor
29 Hal Joeckel
30 Brain Vittone
31 Rod Hironaka
32 Nolan Buerk
33 Genna Nethken
34 Jayna Ruopp
35 Loria Villada
36 Keren Dullea
37 Shakia Kassebaum

The CHSA believes that slaniball will be a very easy game for the Capitalizts to learn, but doubts the ability of nations such as Isles of Wohlstand to play competitively in such a capitalizt game.
Rejistania
23-08-2004, 22:26
The slanitanian roster:

Starters:
Nsedu: Lyku Slani, Sikin Slani, Mira Slani, Junu Slani
Devensi: Likung Slani, Rikki Slani, Alan Slani, Qix Slani, Urk Slani, Syly Slani
Hetaki: Qesi Slani, Mer Slani, Han-hi-len-ly Slani, Selme Slani, Sono Slani, Jisu Slani, Kekemi Slani, Meep Slani

Subs: Kekka Slani, Deseretalivatisulutirakisaxedairi-Ly Slani
Tanah Burung
24-08-2004, 00:16
Lanny and Curley were lookgin for a slaniball to toss around. With only 3.1415 players on the pitch at any one time, they realized they'd be at a disadvantage. But they couldn't, sadly, find a slaniball. Maybe it was because they would't know a slaniball from a bowl of marzipan.

Still, they needed to practice. They needed to toss [i]something[i/] back and forth.

Flo entered the barn. (Oh yeah, they were in a barn. A blue barn with yellow trim. It was made out of, oh, let's say gingerbread.)

"Here, i found something to toss." She bent over and picked up Stubby. The three slaniballers began to toss the fractional player.

As they tossed, they began to chant.

"Four and twenty blackbirds, baked in a pi..."

---

The roster:

Defence and photcopy machine operator: Curley O'Malley
Man with over-sized mustache: Lanny Biggles
Giant evil spider: Florence Tarantula Nightingale
Skateboarding disembodied head: Stubby McWizened
Vilita
24-08-2004, 00:25
MATCHDAY 1 SCORES POSTED IN MAIN POST!!!
Tanah Burung
24-08-2004, 00:41
4- Slanitania [1] MD1: [13-3]
-v- MD2: [-]
13- Tanah Burung [0] MD3: [-]

Before i write anything, does this mean Slanitania 13, TB 3?
The Eagles Nest
24-08-2004, 01:08
((Meaning no rules, so we can make things up????))


TEN vs. Haell [3-3] - [5-5]AET - [5-4]

The magic wheel began spinning, and the wheel at the center of the field slowly started to stop....the crowd watched in anticipation....

"Sharks R Us.........Pit of Doom.......Tree Hugging Hippies.......Spastic Colons....No Netkeeper.....Spastic Colons..............PK on Score *LOCKS*"


The crowd goans...they hate this variation.......when someone scores, the other team gets a PK to try to tie up.

Haell scored first, on a very controversial play....apparently hamsters aren't allowed in the version played in the Marches, but oh well. Jack Daw scored the penalty kick to tie it back at 1.

The second goal was scored by Wam Bam, after a Heinlike maneuver was pulled on the defender (with only 6, only one is a defender) and allowed for a shot through the keeper. (apprently, he'll be ok) The Opposing PK was made...2 all.

As the crowd slowly got bored with the constantly tied game....well, let me just replay the call.

"Penny Layne has the ball, running down the field. OH NO! It's a Special spot! Let's go to the wheel. *wheel begins to spin in the air* Special spots, first to step on it.....you get the result. "Beheading.....Movie Contract....Deportation....New Front Teeth....Old Front Teeth......Free Shot.................Gamma Radiation *Lock* Oh dear, thought she had teh free shot, out comes the Gamma Ray burst, and OH MY SHE'S TURNED ORANGE, and grown to 45 feet tall. The Haell coach is now complaingin she is too tall to play now, and they are doing a measurement.........44 feet, 10 1/2 inches, just inside the legal height, she can play on ,and yeah well she places the ball in the goal, and then walks out of the stadium looking for the nearest hospital.....and there's the obligitory PK with the goal..3 all, and there's the game...going to OT."

The OT followed witha goal from each side, and a PK from each side.

The call for Slanishots.

"We're still tied...you know what's next!!!

SLANI SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *gasp* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

The team captains enter the center circle, and a table is brought out to the center. Remember, loser buys. Alright, well looks like they are both on the second shot, and easily down, alright, the glasses are a bit larger for the third one, and Wam Bam downs his easily.....as does Haell's captain. The forth shot....each got down...OOOOOOOHHHH a burp by the Haell Captain, but no spewage, so we go to the 5th shot...time to up the glass size. Bam ......maybe...YES he's got it down, but oh he's turning green. What's in a Slani Shot anyway? I don't know, but they are good. Haell's captain, psyching himself up.....OH THE HUMANITY A SPEWED SLANI SHOT! The game is over. The Nest wins in slani shots, and remember Haell's captans pays for the slani shot being brought to every person in the stadium. Anyway *gulp* Ahh, until next time. Can I get another one?
Bedistan
24-08-2004, 01:30
Bedistan's slani roster:

1. Ed Marvin
2. Javier Estevez
3. M.X. Rivera
4. Todd Chester
5. Tim Fields
6. Roger Reid
7. Dick Cedina
8. James Reynolds
9. Bartholomew Hornblower-Rodriguez III

---------------

The nine players were walking down a street in some city in Slanitopia in search of a slaniball. "Any ideas?" asked team captain Javier Estevez. "After all, we have no idea what a slaniball looks like."

"For that matter, we don't even know if there is an object named a slaniball," Chester reminded him. "For all we know, it might be played with a baseball."

"And who's to say that there's only one ball?" added Hornblower-Rodriguez.

"People, calm down!" Estevez was already starting to get angry, and they hadn't even gotten started yet. Suddenly, the team walked past a humongous block of cheese that happened to be sitting in the street. "That's it!" he shouted. "We'll make slaniballs out of this cheese!" Figuring they had nothing to lose, the team set to making four such balls. One was nine inches in diameter, one six inches, and two four inches each.

"Ooh! I think I figured out how to play the game!" exclaimed Rivera.

"What, it just came to you?" Estevez inquired.

"Well, I doubt the other team will have any idea how to play either..."

"Good point." The team gathered around Rivera as he told them how to play.

...

The team from Medinat was already waiting in a nearby field, about one hundred by one hundred feet. The Bedistanis set to work erecting goals at either end of the field. The goals consisted of metal poles sticking about eight feet up from the ground, with an enclosed circular opening twelve inches in diameter on top. One of the Bedistani players had also gathered 24 baseball bats from somewhere, and he passed them out, one to each player on both sides. Todd Chester's brother Zachary was on hand to act as timekeeper, and he put 45 minutes on his stopwatch.

Both teams played simultaneously, using whatever balls they had in their possession. The apparent object of the game was to launch the slaniballs toward the circular goal on the opposite side of the field, trying to get it to go through. However, the players on the other side were allowed to try to hit the ball with their bat in an attempt to prevent it from going through the goal. Scoring for goals varied depending on the ball used. If a 4" ball went through, it was worth one point. If the 6" ball went through, it was worth two points. Finally, if the 9" ball went through, it was worth three points. The Medinat players put the 9" ball through once, the 6" through three times, and the 4" balls through four times total. Unfortunately, the Bedistanis could never get the 9" ball to go through the ball, and although they put five 4" balls through, they could only put the 6" ball in twice. Thus, when the full 45 minutes had expired, the team from Bedistan left the field with a 13-9 loss.

"Well, we did pretty good for not knowing anything about the game beforehand," said captain Estevez. "But the other team didn't know either, and they did better. I guess we'll have to improve for next time."

Final score:
Medinat 13
Bedistan 9

Bedistan goal scorers:
Estevez 6" (8'), 4" (34')
Cedina 4" (20', 41')
Hornblower-Rodriguez 6" (19')
Rivera 4" (5', 28')
Rejistania
24-08-2004, 02:00
Slanitania is of course familar with different slani, but Slaniball? No one had an idea. The place Slaniball is played was a street in a Slanitopian suburb, right, a street, which was blocked for traffic. There were four goals in the different corners of the street... Any slanitanian knows now already what the sport is, but for non slanitanians: Slaniball is a version of Slanitanian Quadro, only played Street-style: outdoors, with a much longer field, some strange rules and a small ball, which easily can fall into a gully. If the ball falls into one, it is considered a foul and a penalty run is awarded to the opposing team.

the basic rules of Quadro are easy: aim is to get a ball to the other side of the field into one of the goals (into which exactly depends on which team hit which goal before). The Nsedus guard the goal against atacks of the other team and score for their team, the devensi and the hetaki (defense and attack) throw the ball and try to reach the according position without a player of the other team intercepting it. It is forbidden to run or walk when holding the ball.

The fast Hetaki at the beginning was succesfull as it siqed a xkora for Slanitania. But then the giant Evil spider crawled into action, playing any position due to the small roster. Their tactic of forcing Hsenadis and Kvesejas and the versatility of player 0.14, brought hem ahead in the first Senget. But then the Slanitanians tried to fight their arachnophobia and make long-range-siqis to improve their numeral superiority. Soon the Slanis were leading 5-3. Florence Tarantula Nightingale was so frustrated that she ate Alan Slani on the pitch. Unfortunately for her, Alan Slani is nonormal player but a Godmod, so three new Alan Slanis appeared out of the nowhere and increased the advantage of the Slanis. She had to wear a muzzle after that incident. After the 3rd Senget and the 2nd Xi-Senget, the match had the result:
One eaten player,
5 broken windows,
1 broken enter-key,
20 trampled down flower bads,
1 nervous breakdown of a resident,
243 calls to the police asking wether a civil war broke out
and last but not least: 13-3
Commerce Heights
24-08-2004, 03:29
Isles of Wohlstand Bribes Officials, Wins Slaniball Match 9-8!
SLANI CITY, SLANITOPIA - The Capitalizts got their first taste of slaniball today, narrowly losing to Isles of Wohlstand, the only nation on the official list of 'enemies of the corprorations'. Their socialist tendencies got them into trouble when they stole gold discs called 'slaniballs' from the Capitalizts in an attempt to equalize the distribution of slaniballs which, though it is against the rules, was not noticed by the Melmondian official after the Commies tossed two slaniballs at him. The official soon left the field with the slaniballs, leaving the Commies to continue their slaniball theft. With little opportunity to make profitable trades, the Commies easily overcame their political handicap to win the match 9-8, with a loss of §12,000 reported on the official balance sheet (§120 on the spectators' report). A §1,800 investment in anti-theft devices for the Capitalizt slaniballs should help with future matches.
MD1 MD2 MD3 Games Profit
(11) Commerce Heights 8/8/0 0 -§ 13,800
(06) Isles of Wohlstand 8/9/0 1 § 12,000
(scores in FT/AET/SK format)
Haell
24-08-2004, 05:16
The roster for the Holy Empire of Haell's holy slaniball team is as follows:

Coach/nonplayer:His Holyness, the Emperor Christo san Constantine

Team captian/center: Jesus El Diablo
Midfielder: James Herbert Keenan
Forward: Siva
Goal tender: Siddhartha Ghandi
Right Wing: Aleister Szandor LaVey
Left Wing: Pat Robertson

We may be small in numbers but we are huge in our pants. The Eagles Nest Tricked us out of the first game. Alcohol is illegal in our homeland of HAELL. Jesus has admitted to turning water into wine but never has he consumed hard liquor. If it had been bong hits we would surely have been victorious.
I FEAR FOR THE NEXT TEAM WE FACE.
Tanah Burung
24-08-2004, 05:47
Slanitania had a full roster, which made things hard for the Tanah Burung trio (and a bit). Especially when Rikki Slani fired one straight through the pi-hole during the opening whistle (it lasted seven minutes).

After the arrival of the goat, and three more Slaniscores (each worth three points, except the third which wasn't worth anything but was awarded two points for artistic merit) the score was 9-0. Why was there a goat? To feed Flo, whose slavering jaws were worth a point. 9-1 for the Slanistanis. Why did Flo eat Alan Slani? She swalled the Slani to catch the goat (which wriggled and shuffled inside her throat). No luck, and a penalty of plus one point, so it was 9-2. Penalties are always worth positive points, except during a waning lunar cycle and on Thursdays.

When Alan Slani started tripling, Curley switched on the photocopier and started duplicating Stubby. No wonder the skateboarding and infinately repeating fraction seemed to be everywhere: Curley managed to make five more Stubbies before the referee noticed and awarded a penalty (score: 9-3). Stubby scored 1000000000!!!1 times but all together that was only worth 1 point (9-4). When Lanny mentioned Quidditch he was flogged by the referee and had one point deducted. While he was arguing about this two more Alan Slanis scored two times two each, making the score 14-3. But the referee added wrong and thought it was 13-3.

As everyone knows, the first team to 13 wins and so it was all over. Slanislanistan had won. A fat lady started singing. Then everyone went out for some cake.
Toronto Island
24-08-2004, 07:27
Mel Lastman's cause for entering himself into the SlaniCup was now long since irrelevant. Toronto Island had already gained it's independence as a sovereign nation, and peace had been returned to the region of Toronto with the fall of the oppressive Elf government. The short little mayor with a broken leg had no reason to play. But still, he insisted he would.

On the tiny land mass that was Toronto Island, of which what once was multiple, even tinier islands, there was a desperate lack of sporting venues, and no Slaniball court to be heard of. The tiny community had no reason for one, as no one on the island was athletic in the slightest, which counted especially for the community's five foot nothing mayor. No one on the island wasn't damned if they even knew how to play the mysterious sport of Slaniball, and if they did, they would've stood a much better chance at playing it than the community's leader.

Yet, almost in spite of all the reasons not to play, he did. Someone was going to have to represent his tiny nation, and he was just the man for the job.

Despite the lack of knowledge of the sport, and the lack of actual players, a huge, thunderous crowd of supporters for Lastman arrived at the stadium, wearing shirts, carrying flags, and cheering loudly whenever their tiny island was mentioned by anyone within earshot. As they poured into their seats, a wave of blue washed over the right side of the stadium, and suddenly, all at once, the Toronto Island fans began to sing their national anthem. It was a shame the nation had not yet decided on one, as it would've been a much more moving statement if they had all been singing the same song, but still, a prouder group of people could not have been found elsewhere.

Lastman walked on to the field, proudly wearing his snazzy blue uniform. While he was greeted by a momentous roar, he remained very solemn, and very concentrated on the task before him.

His 21 opponents made their entrance, their uniforms marked in blazing letters, "Castillanos". The island crowd boo-ed loudly at the opposing team, who were all much, much larger than their nation's only player. The smallest player on the Castillanos team was six feet tall, and weighed a whopping 280 lbs, all of which was muscle mass. The other players on the field looked as if Lastman was the kind of thing they ate for breakfast. Literally.

Lastman lined up in the centre of the pitch with the Castillanos captain. He stared fiercely into the eyes of huge, monstrous creature. He wasn't about to back down to someone twice his size. But he would consider it soon enough.

The referee met with the two players, taking the ceremonial fish out of his pocket, presenting it to Lastman, as the rules stated since he was outnumbered 18 to 1 on the field, it was his for the entirety of the game.

Lastman took the fish, and slapped the Castillanos captain right across the face.

The match had officially begun.
Toronto Island
24-08-2004, 08:11
The match was short, and pathetic.

With the ceremonious fish-slap out of the way, the Castillanos team began to pummel Lastman, and the once enthusiastic crowd felt a stunningly intense rush of disappointment none of them had ever experienced before.

The amount of minutes to be played each half was decided on the total number of players in the stadium, and the referee's favourite number. On the pitch was one for Toronto Island, and a full 18 for Castillanos. On the Castillanos bench was another. In the parking lot was the final member of the Castillanos team, listening to the game on his car radio. The referee chose the number 18, as it was the number of times he had been arrested for indecent exposure. Each half would last a total of 40 minutes.

The players lined up in parallel horizontal lines, similar to football, only most football teams stay home if they only have one available player. The whistle blew, and they were off. The first team to get their own Slaniball into their opponents wicker basket would score the first three points. Naturally, Castillanos easily did just this. The teams capitan calmly walked over to the Toronto Island basket, and gently placed his teams ball in it. All the while, Lastman was being playfully tossed around by the other players in a game of catch.

3 - 0, Castillanos.

From then on in, the game began to be very repetitive. After the first three points had been scored, a third, spherical shaped ball, about the size of a melon, was brought out to the field, and the original two Slaniballs were removed. This third ball was named, very originally, "The Other Slaniball", or "The OSB" for short. Every other point was to be scored by touching a large brown bag at the centre of the field with the OSB. Whichever team was behind in score would start with the ball at their end of the field. The other team would surround the bag to protect it, and try to steal it from the opposing players, or in this case, player.

This was done very easily by the Castillanos team. 13 times.

With an entire ten minutes left on the clock, the Castillanos team began to leave the field out of pure boredom, and a guaranteed win, and allowed Lastman to score twice, as it took him that long to run from his end of the field to the bag with his broken leg.

When the Toronto Island crowd realized Lastman had scored, and that their team had not been completely shutout, the sea of blue across the stands came alive again. As Lastman walked off the field, waving to the the roaring crowd, just minutes after the game had ended, the Castillanos team bus had already pulled out of the stadium parking lot.
Kingsford
24-08-2004, 13:35
SLANIBALL Takes the world by storm!

The players, 13 from Kingsford and 13.75 from Melmond (They brought a midget along) sit in a table. A grapefruit sized ball is placed in the center. The goal is to Slani in any way possible, without directly touching the table, the chairs, or the slaniball with any part of your body, to make fall off the table into the lap of an opposing player. The Kingsforder 13 were confused at this, but the Melmondese quickly robbed their midget of his cane and managed to knock the ball into the lap of Wesley Gorns, who's voice seemed to retrace it's steps to puberty and got suprisingly high after that goal. The Melmondese managed to hit the ball into the lap of Gorns six times more more, whom later reported to suffer from a crushed pelvis. His wife has also left him for "being inable." Wesley will attend the next match, however, but he has to walk with a set of krutches. The Kingsforder team managed, with their missing player (Gorns was rushed to the hospital) to save a few goal attempts by blowing on the ball, and one Pincharles Gelty slanied so hard he almost scored, but the midget's cane blocked the shot. The 13 minutes was up, the score:

Melmond 7
Kingsford 0
Castillanos
24-08-2004, 18:04
Hello, My name is Alejandro Trapani, and welcome do Nightly News.

Our top story, The Catholic School Girls' Rebellion, will be brought to you later due to technical difficulties, but for now Christina Pérez will bring you a report live from Toronto Island. Christina...



Well then tell him to get my some Starbucks, I don't care if he has to leave the coun-

A medium sized women stood outside a small blue stadium wearing a short red dress, fighting with her assistant. She suddenly looked back at the camera and smiled looking a little embarrased.

Hello, My name is Christina Pérez and I'm here live outside of the Slaniball Stadium in Toronto Island, where Castillanos gruesomly defeated the team...I mean man from Toronto Island 16-2 in the Slaniball Tournament! The game played was Slaniball where players try throwing balls into baskets, which is the only thing we know from this mysterious game, which originated from Slanitopia.

Castillanos team includes ten models, ten athletes, and a martial arts specialist while the team from Toronto had one player, their leader. The top scorers of the game were Giselle Garvalho with a whopping 9 points, followed by Reynaldo Gianecchini with 3 points, and Paulo Figueiredo with two points. This win puts Castillanos at the top of the series with 1 win and at third place behind Slanitopia and Treefox. The next game is to be played at La Arena Metropolitana in Downtown Santiago, where tickets are selling at record prices and the Stadium is expected to be sold out by tommorow morning. This is Christina Pérez again live in Toronto, back to Alex in the Studio.

Castillanos' National Slaniball Team

1. Yanira Barajas
2. Giselle Garvalho
3. Loreen Amaya
4. Manuela Santos
5. Mercedes Suarez
6. Sarah Dijulio
7. Alicia Lopez
8. Anna Shenouda
9. Yarin Leyva
10. Brenda Roman
11. Samuel Mendes
12. José Mayer
13. Lucas Margutti
14. Leonardo Villar
15. Claudio Baricelli
16. Giovanni Casceres
17. Tony Ramos
18. Paulo Figueriedo
19. Luis Perez
20. Reynaldo Gianecchini
21. Leonel Campos
Isles of Wohlstand
25-08-2004, 00:50
Isles of Wohlstand Nation News Network

Anchor: "Hi, I'm anchor man Donny Greschezkovichinovmerkiniskovadermoskovialovakia, or just call me Don. Welcome to the wide world of Slaniball, a new sport to you people out there. Wonder out it works? Well so do we! Anyhow, we have an interview with one of the team players for our Slaniball Cup players, Gregor Stankashell"

Gregor: "Glad to be here, anyhow, basically, in Slaniball, we do stuff, and beat those capitalists with the hammer of good sportsmanship and the sickle of skills. Yea, we also use those balls on the field"

Anchor: "AHAHAHA, BALLS!!!! Oh excuse me, please continue"

Gregor: "Actually, thats about it...."

Anchor: "Oh, sorry. I also see your the only non-incapacitated person on the team, why just you?"

Gregor: "Because I am the team captain...."

Anchor: "Ooooh, anyhow, thanks for being here. Anyhow the first two match days were good so far, with a stunning victory, 1000-8, er I mean 9-8 versus those capitalist retar...I mean players. They were crying after match as you can see in this footag"

Videos of old people crying at a funeral plays.

Anchor: "Anyhow, they cried because they were literally beaten by a bunch of incapacitated mental hospital patients. This goes to show that patients under scoailist governments beat accountants and bankers of capitalist nations, making us better!!! I mean, seriously, how could you lose to a sad clown in an iron lung at any sport. The second day we tied, whoopity doo, but in heart we still win because they are capitalists, ARG!!!! And thats it for my news segment, here you go to Mr. Too-good-for-everyone-else-and-he-stole-my-wife"
The Eagles Nest
25-08-2004, 01:03
Well the game is 3-1 Strike Birds, and OH NO A SPECIAL SPOT WITH 30 SECONDS LEFT!


**Spastic Colon, broken Neck, Free Goal, Own Goal....Donate kidney............Give free toothbrush..........Switch Score* LOCK*


OH NO, the scores have been reversed, and now Haell has a 3-1 lead, and there's the buzzer. Oh the humanity...oh the tragedy...oh the horror..oh the *mike cut off abruptly*
Castillanos
25-08-2004, 01:06
La Arena Metropolitana, Santiago, Castillanos
======================================

The Castillanos team entered the field with a huge roar of approval as thousands of fans cheered on their home team as the ten girls on the team jumped around waving to all the fans, signing some autographs. The overhead lights soon flashed Red and Black as the Team Captain Reynaldo Gianecchini entered in his fiery red uniform running toward the Slaniball field.

The Arena soon became silent as the Announcer announced the arrival of the Toronto Island Player, Mel Lastman. Once he entered the arena, which was bigger then the stadium in Toronto Island, he was met with toilet player rolls and laughter. Once he reached the field, the Referee blew his whistle, and the game was on. However, the C-Team didn't go for the ball, instead the eighteen players lined up side by side with eight players on each side leaving a some-what narrow walking space. Yarin Leyva, the smallest player on the team who didn't appear in the last game, turned towards him.

"Well, as my team slaughtered yours in the last game, I would like to give you the honorary first point..." She said....
Toronto Island
25-08-2004, 03:06
=========================================================

T.I.B.C. - Toronto Island Broadcasting Company

Up Next:
SlaniCup: Round 1, Game 2
Toronto Island (0) at Castillanos (1)

Coming Up:
10:30 PM - Post-Game Coverage
11:00 PM - The Island News

=========================================================


After a brief commercial break, a well-dressed anchor appeared on the centre of the screen, sitting calmly behind his desk.

Hello and welcome to TIBC's coverage of what could very well be the biggest sporting event in the history of Toronto Island. Most likely because it is the only sporting event this young nation has ever participated in. We at TIBC will be providing full coverage of the entire match-up, live, as it happens.

He smoothly turned to camera two, and a photo taken from the first game was displayed in the top-right corner of the screen. The entire Island was watching, brimming with anticipation.

But first, our pre-game summary. In case you missed it, last night at the newly built Toronto Island SlaniStadium, Castillanos walloped our own Mel Lastman by a score of 16-2. After scoring the three-pointer in the first half, they continued to destroy Lastman. However, in the dying minutes of the game, the Castillanos players pulled an outright insulting, but merciful move of pulling out of the game, leaving our only player to score twice. Such a feat has surely never been seen in the sport, and yet, the experts are predicting a similar outcome tonight.

Again very smoothly, he returned to camera one.

But could they be wrong? Is there any hope left for Toronto Island in the SlaniCup? Could they make a comeback? All these questions will be answered in a few moments, as we now bring you down to "La Arena Metropolitana" in beautiful Santiago, Castillanos, for Game 2 of Toronto Island vs. Castillanos.


The Castillanos crowd roared a familiar roar. One identical to the cheer that had thundered across the tiny quasi-man-made island in the Toronto harbour the previous night. It was loud. It was proud. It was intimidating.

Lastman's demeanor again remained unchanged as the crowd reacted to his entrance, in complete contrast to the crowd of last night. Back home, all of the Greater Toronto Area was watching. The entire region was glued to their televisions. The stakes were high on this game. If they lost again, it was all over. Toronto Island would be eliminated from the SlaniCup.

The entire nation watched as a Castillanos player handed Lastman his team ball, the name "LEYVA" sparkling under the glaring stadium lights. She spoke words that could not be heard by the television audience, but as each player on the field lined up and allowed him to pass, they understood.

Humbly, but with his dignity intact, Lastman limped to the Castillanos basket, and placed the Slaniball into it. He was outnumbered 21 to 1. He was half the size of every player on the Castillanos team. He had a broken leg. Despite it all, he scored the honorary first goal for three points. His team was ahead for the first time in it's history.

3 - 0, Toronto Island.
Toronto Island
25-08-2004, 03:54
The two Toronto Island commentators sat, in shock, in their tiny media booth. Bob Freeman and Ron Snider were covering the match, aired both locally on TIBC, and in Canada on the CBC. They screamed into their microphones the play-by-play of the truly remarkable event they were witnessing.

Ron: Ladies and gentlemen, if you're just tuning in... the Castillanos team...
Bob: I can't believe this! This is... there are no words for this!
Ron: And there it is! He's done it! They've allowed him to scored the first three points!
Bob: Unbelievable!
Ron: It's official! The score, now, Toronto Island three, Castillanos... nothing!
Bob: But what an insult to Toronto Island. To just let him walk... well.. limp to the basket like that! What a disgra-
Ron: Oh shut up Bob, we're ahead. Who cares why. We're ahead folks!

The island exploded in joy. Who cares if the Castillanos team had put up no resistance. Toronto Island had scored the first three points of the game. Maybe there was some hope for the tiny island team after all.

But perhaps they spoke too soon.

The Castillanos team lined up on their end of the field for the second-round of play. Now, just one player was staring down eighteen, and it was up to him to stop all of them from scoring.

The whistle blew.

The eighteen players rushed Lastman with the Slaniball. He stood firm within the defense circle in the exact centre of the field. The rules stated if the Slaniball touched the bag at the centre of the defense circle, the last team to have possession of the ball outside the circle scored a point. And now, it was his job to keep that ball out of the circle, whatever the cost.

Ron: Here they come folks. All 18 of'em. They're rushing Lastman in a typical Hail Mary style play.
Bob: Oh god, this isn't going to be pretty.
Ron: Lastman's standing fir- wait a minute...
Bob: I don't think I've seen a play like that before.
Ron: I don't think that was they're plan. What the hell is going on?

The Castillanos coach collapsed on the bench in shock. One by one, all but one player on his team gradually slowed down, grabbed their stomach, and fell to their knees. Every single player on their bench did the same.

The referee called for play to stop. The game was delayed for a full half hour, as seventeen players on the Castillanos team were escorted off the field.

When the Castillanos coach re-emerged from the locker room, he headed for the referees' tent. In utter disbelief, he explained to them that the players that had appeared at the last game made the mistake of drinking the island water. None of them were in any shape to play. He only had one player left. Yarin Leyva.

He asked the referees to delay the game for a day to give his team a chance to recover, but they refused.

The game would have to continue, only now, it was a one-on-one competition.
Castillanos
25-08-2004, 04:31
Are you sure you can't get the game delayed? Everyone's sick? What? I can't play...besides I don't even know how to play Slaniball...Fine, but next time we only drink water from the French Alps.

Yarin Leyva walked out onto the court as the Main Screen flashed the name YARIN LEYVA in both red and blue as the crowd roared in approval again, only louder then before. She looked at her opponent, and then stood near the circle in the middle of the field in her fiery red bikini as if she was getting ready to play Beach Volleyball. The Referee greeted her, as did Mel as they shook hands to begin the overtime. The Referee then blew his whistle and let the ball loose. Yarin then dove for the ball...
Toronto Island
25-08-2004, 20:56
Bob: It's a miracle! It's a bloody miracle!
Ron: For those of you just joining us from our affiliates in Hamilton, Niagara, and the Buffalo region, we're witnessing what truly has to be a miracle, happening live in Santiago, Castillanos. All but one player on the Castillanos team has come down with some sort of illness, and will not be able to continue the game, and yet, the referees are calling for the game to continue into overtime, 3 - 3!
Bob: Well, you see, they're saying that since they have at least one player left, they'll have to continue with just her.
Ron: And that player is no other than the beautiful Yarin Leyva.
Bob: I'm telling you Ron, there has to be a god. What are the chances?
Ron: Maybe there is some hope for Toronto Island in the SlaniCup after all!

For an entire half hour, while the teams prepared to go into overtime, the streets of Toronto Island flooded with people. Flags, signs, face-paint. It was one big, but very short-lived carnival. But as overtime finally began, the streets again became deserted, as every restaurant, bar, or store in town with a television was crammed with people. For someone who would not have known what was going on, the whole event would have been very confusing.

Ron: Here it is folks, overtime. This is a do-or-die match for Lastman and Toronto Island. Should he loose to Leyva, it's all over. It's up to him to keep Toronto Island in the SlaniCup.
Bob: My god, the pressure must be killing him.

It was killing everyone at home. It was killing everyone in the stadium. If Leyva won, Castillanos would be guaranteed a spot in the next round. But honestly, how much did she have to worry about a short little man with a broken leg? This would be easy.

The whistle blew.

Leyva dove at the ball with speed that had yet been unseen in the tournament. Lastman had no time to think, she was on him faster than he could limp away. Very easily, she tackled him, and snatched the ball from his stubby hands, already doing a full 180 spin towards the bag in mid-air. With grace and precision she took aim, preparing to fire the ball into the unprotected circle to give her team the lead for the first time of the match. This was it. She could finally end this.

Bob: That's it, this could seal the gam-
Ron: Wait a minute! Lastman steals the ball back!
Bob: What?!
Ron: He's got the ball, and he's making a run for the bag! But here comes Leyva, and she doesn't look to happy.
Bob: He's got to run fast, overtime only lasts for one minute, and we're down to the last 45 seconds.
Ron: Look out Lastman, cause Leyva's barreling down on you like a freight train!
Bob: Boy, can she run fast. Must be- Oh my god!
Ron: She's tripped! She tripped! She's down, and she's having a hard time getting up.
Bob: I think that fall disoriented her a bit.
Ron: He's almost there. Damn, that limp is slowing him down.
Bob: She's getting up! 30 seconds!
Ron: Leyva's stumbling around, looks like she's coming out of it. Will she catch him in time?
Bob: 25 seconds!
Ron: Lastman's so close! He's almost there!
Bob: 20 seconds. Run Lastman, run!
Ron: But here she comes, she's back to full speed now!
Bob: 15 seconds!
Ron: He's inches away!
Bob: She's going catch him!
Ron: He's going to shoot!
Bob: She's going to stop him!
Ron: It's away!
Bob: She's tackled him!

The ball flew, almost in slow-motion, at the bag. Lastman and Leyva both were on the ground, watching in anticipation. Everyone in the stadium was on there feet. Two nations of people held their breath and watched the ball get closer and closer. No one said anything, not even the commentators.

Just seconds before the buzzer sounded... the Slaniball hit the bag.

The final score flashed on the scoreboard:

CASTILLANOS: 3
TORONTO ISLAND: 4
Kingsford
25-08-2004, 21:06
Kingsford comes back for more, brings their own midget

The Kingsford Slaniball team brought their own midget and used his cane to score 5 goals into the laps of five different players. First, Raul Julia scored a hat trick. The midget got hit in the head and had to be taken off, but luckily for the Melmondese, they retained his cane and managed to knock four slaniballs into the lap of Wes Gorns. Wes had to be rushed off, and has now acquired the nickname in Kingsford and Melmond "Slani Balls" Gorns is scheduled to return to the third match, and promises not to let his shattered testes hinder his passion for Slaniball. Yñe Roege managed to tap one in where the midget had been, tying up the score, and it was Couprest Kagla with the winning goal, in the same hot spot for Kingsford, that sealed the win or Kingsford's Slaniball team. The third match will take place in Tri-National Stadium's Boiler Room, on a solid oak table with aluminum folding chairs. The chairs are painted purple and gold for Kingsforders and bright pink for the Melmond with the word "LOSER" labeled on every possible square inch. Tickets are 400 Totally Inflated Yen and are on sale from the hobos outside the stadium
Slanitopia
25-08-2004, 21:21
::ROUND ONE COMPLETE::

ROUND TWO MATCHUPS::

TreeFox vs Toronto Island
Castillanos vs Kingsford
Slanitania vs. Starblaydia
The Eagles Nest vs. Isles of Wohlstand

Why Does Toronto Island advance? I have no Slani Idea, Lets hope we find out in the next Toronto Island RP.

Who is Starblaydia? I have no Slani Idea, Lets hope we find out in the next Starblaydia RP.
Rejistania
25-08-2004, 21:22
Slanitanina Quadro differs in certain aspects to normal Slaniball and these differences became important in the second and third match. While Slanitanian Quadro is played on one field, Slaniball is played whereever the two teams want it. This time, it was not in a suburbian street but inside of a sewage plant, the goals being next to the settling bassins. If you score a goal, the slaniball falls directly in the bassin. (The bassins were covered so that the slaniball can't fall into the bassins in any other situation.) This setting introduced a new rule: if your team concedes a goal, one of your players has to dive into the bassin and find it. Maybe that was the reason why the match was a Devensi/Nsedu match at first until the Slanitanian Slaniball Slanis went ahead merely on accident and found out how much fun it is to see someone else diving in the bassin. Then they changed to a Hetaki like never before and made the Tanah Burungese dive 17 times more. After that, the Burungese Giant Evil Spider somehow managed to get rid of her muzzle and attacked a non-godmode player shouting that she wants to see him dive too. The Nsedu Juru Slani reacted by scoring an own-slanigoal to save the life of the poor Selme Slani. The Giant Evil Spider stopped the attack and Selme Slani dived into the bassin and found the orange slaniball after a short time. When he found it, the match ended. The final score was 18-1
Starblaydia
25-08-2004, 21:31
It had been publicised all over Starblaydia in every form of media. Newspaper, TV, Internet, Town Cryer, Bathroom Wall Limmerick and Skywriting. Starblaydia were playing Slanitania in the Slani Cup, the World's Premier Slaniball tournament.

Through careful media takeovers by Starblaydi companies, conglomerates and crooked c... uh, C... C..CSI! Yes, great! CSI Actors, the match had been, to all intents and purposes, cancelled to the knowledge of most Medinatians, except the fifteen in their Slaniball squad.

So as three teams lined up in the tunnel, two were looking very confused, neither of which were Starblaydia, who had quite sportingly looked at the rules already and brought the perfect ammount of 37 players. The one crucial thing, though, was the crowd outside. No TV cameras, psychic projectors or even the rat-on-a-stick vendors would know about this cheeky switch. At the required cue, a number of Slaniball players who hadn't made it into the squad, canines included, burst into control rooms all over the stadium.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," came the announcement over the stadium sound system, "the Doughboy Dirigible is now above the Stadium, will everyone please look up and wave for a giant picture!"

As the crowd cheered and looked up at the metaphorical three-headed monkey, Things changed all over the stadium. The scoreboard replaced 'Medinat" with "Starblaydia", Starblaydia's players quickly tied and gagged the Medinat players (some a little too skillfully, if you know what i mean), and a team of dedicated, highly-trained Merekats snuck into everyone's pockets and changed their tickets with tiny little pens to read 'Slanitania Vs Starblaydia'.

Then the gong sounded, the crowd cheered, and Starblaydia came out to kick some ass in the Slani Cup...






"Three-headed monkey distraction" (C) Copyright Lucasarts Games circa 1990
And yes, this is official. Starblaydia has taken Medinat's non-RP'd place.
Tanah Burung
26-08-2004, 03:16
Who on Tanah Burung's side is happy about the aggregate loss of 123897129-10 against Slanisummat?

NOOOOOOOBODY.

But the team will stay on to cheer the Toronto Island Bad Boys. Well, Bad Boy.
Toronto Island
26-08-2004, 03:39
=========================================================

T.I.B.C. - Toronto Island Broadcasting Company

Up Next:
Post-Game Coverage: "Roach's Corner"

Coming Up:
11:00 PM - The Island News
12:00 AM - Late Night with Conan the Barbarian

=========================================================


After a rather depressing children's aid commercial, which made Toronto Island's heartbreaking Game 3 loss to Castillanos in overtime all the more painful, everybody's favourite sports commentator appeared aside his trusty co-host to do his best to comfort the nation. It was his familiar face the lessened the horrible pain of defeat across the island. It was Ron "Roach" Cherry, and Don McLean. Ron didn't bother waiting for Don to introduce the two of them. As soon as the camera was on, he shouted at the television audience.

Ron: That was the worst display of officiating I've ever seen in a SlaniBall game, ever.
Don: Good evening ladi-
Ron: What the hell was that?! Honestly, folks. That was just... just corrupt.
Don: Welcome to Roach's Corner.
Ron: I can't believe that.
Don: Ron, she scored fair and square.
Ron: No, no. Let's go to the tape.

The director cut to footage Ron had lined up previously. It showed Yarin Leyva's feet touching the ground near the defense circle after firing the SlaniBall towards the bag.

Leyva's team was still recovering, and so Game 3 was again a one-on-one competition between her and Lastman. The competition was fierce, with momentum going back and forth between the two players, but in overtime, Leyva scored at the last second, similar to Lastman's performance the previous night.

Ron: Right there! See it?
Don: See what, Ron?
Ron: Her feet touched the line of the defense circle. Everybody could see it. That goal shouldn't have counted.

In his typical fashion, Ron Cherry refused to believe the opposing team had won without cheating or bending the rules to some degree.

Don: I don't see it, Ron.
Ron: Of course you don't, you're an idiot.
Don: Hey, c'mon...
Ron: Don't "hey" me about this, this is serious. I can't believe they let that go. There's got to be some explanation, and personally, I think somebody was bribed.
Don: Oh come now-
Ron: Listen, just shut up for a second. Watch the tape. Do you see it? Do you see that? Her feet are on the line! They're on the fudging line!
Don: Careful now, this is still a family show.
Ron: Why do you think I said fudge instead of fu-

Instantly, the show went to commercial.

No matter how hard everyone argued about that controversial call, after going to tape, the judges decided she was still outside the circle, and thusly, the goal counted. Even if it had not, Castillanos still would have won, as they had won the match by two points. Leyva's last goal wasn't that important.

There was no denying it. As everyone quietly walked home in the cloudy summer's night, Toronto Island had been defeated, and the series was over, 2 - 1. No wonder no one on the island ever bothered playing sports, the sting of defeat really did sting.


But Toronto Island wasn't completely out of the running yet. There was still one last chance for their team. The winners of the wildcard slot had yet to be announced.
The Eagles Nest
26-08-2004, 04:00
Alright haell is up 2-0...amazing, and there, the nest has scored a goal...and what's this...they are going for 8?

AMAZING! I've not seen an 8 point try in ...well, years.

Apparently they feel confident if they miss the 8 to get the other goal. Alright, here we go.

She's strapped in, there she goes, the rocket has launched and there she goes......She's got 30 seconds to get off the rocket before it explodes, and .............THERE's the chute....excellent. Haell has openned up with the obligitory anit aircraft guns, but she's mneuvering, and I think, she' YES She's releasing the chute early and going into the glide phase.. and the nets are being shot, and oh, one's clipped the edge, and she's in a free fall, but she shaken it off and recovered, she's going right in towards the net, the goalie looks scared, all the air defenses are worthless now...the glider vs. the goalie, she throws....... GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!

She's done it...9-2 now! Amazing...Haell looks completely discouraged now. I think, yes, the buzzer has sounded and the victory was snatched from Haell on that play. The Nest moves on!
Toronto Island
26-08-2004, 04:09
Lastman called a press conference the next day:

Ladies and gentlemen of the press, before you ask your questions regarding last night's game, I have an announcement to make.

As you all know, the Republic of TreeFox received a bye in the first round of the tournament for having the closest amount of players on their roster to 37. In the upcoming quarter-finals, they are to play the winner of the wildcard slot, which is awarded to one of the already eliminated teams.

I have the pleasure of announcing... Toronto Island has won th-

Before he could finish his sentence, he was cut-off by the overjoyed shouts of the audience. He did his best to speak over them after a brief pause.

...has won the wildcard slot, and will face TreeFox in the quarter-finals. Thank you.

As he walked off stage, it was almost as if the audience didn't care, for they were too busy celebrating. People shouted, strangers kissed, and one particularly large man took off his shirt, climbed on stage, and danced. Toronto Island was in the tournament again.

Who thought they'd make it this far?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBODY!

(Thanks for the support Tanah Burung :D!)
Tanah Burung
26-08-2004, 04:24
(Well, the fictional Mel is much more fun than the real one. ;) )
Rejistania
27-08-2004, 00:11
The third match of Slaniball for the Slanitanian Slaniball Slanis took place in a forrest in Slanitopia. You know, that kind of forrest which is more like a jungle. The only way to get there was per helicopter and parachute. Unfortunately, Han-Hi-Lan-Ly Slani suffers from acrophobia and so his face turned green and he nearly forgot to open the parachute due to being busy wetting his pants. Thanks to the almighty Bob, godmod Alan Slani reminded him (even though we are not quite sure how he did it. We will not ask him despite our incertainty, he is a godmod). the match was not really efective: apes stole the slaniball several times, the referee was stinged by a tse-tse-fly and immediately fell asleep (that delayed the game for 23 hours)and later the slaniball fell on a plant, which happened to be carnivore. It seemed to like the slaniball despite that worst of all it was not allowed to open the plant to get the ball back because the plant is on the list of endangered species. thanks to the allmighty Bob (yes, it was him again) a lemur ate the plant and spat out the slaniball. since Lemurs are on the list of endangered species too, an ecological and ethical dilemma occurred, but the players were sportsmen enough not to care at all. After 26 hours, the score in this crazy match was 6 all. Then, Rikki Slani hit the scoreboard so hard that the nil in front of the Slanitania score flipped and a 1 appeared. That was maybe the most uncommon way to score 10 slanigoals, but the rules don't forbid it explicitely and so the result became the final score: 16-6 for Slanitania.
Slanitopia
27-08-2004, 01:51
ROUND 2, MD1 SCORES IN YOUR TELEGRAM BOX!!!
Isles of Wohlstand
27-08-2004, 01:57
The crowd boo's on television at the end of the Slaniball games, a horrible loss ,11-2. The team walks off the field, heads draping and crying. The news caster speaks, solemnly.

Anchor 1:"We lost, 11-2, a horrible defeat, but will it crush us? Probably not. Slaniball is slani after all, and its just a game. So fans out there, don't fret, we will win anyways. I am sure the team has some trick up their sleeve. Right Bob"

Anchor 2:"Damn straight, we always win, infact, that video you just saw, was the other team! Jokes on you all!!! Hahahaha"

Anchor 1:"Sure. Yea. Right. Anyhow, we won, 11-2, and the enemies, LOST, horribly. Anyhow, until next time, remember, we cannot lose, ever, and if we ever did, then it would be a joke, and a funny one, and they would be cheating and...."

The sentence runs on as Hessinger turns off his TV, then sits back in his chair and pulls out a cigar, lighting it and placing it at the corner of his mouth.

Hessinger:"Get my coach on the horn, and tell him to cut the crap, hehe. They may think we have a bunch of retards playing, but that's a damned lie. Tell him and the 'team' we have, to make sure they pull their full load now...after all, they are Red Berets. Also, make sure that you tell the coach that the 'enemy' team must never reach the goal. We need to pummel their faces into the ground and wipe the dirt with them."

Assistant:"Yes sir!"

Hessinger sits anc chuckles a bit, then turns his TV back on and goes back to watching Hilarity Central.

Hessinger:"Oh look, the Day Show is on, with Ron Steward. This guy cracks me up..."

He chuckles again.
Toronto Island
27-08-2004, 04:10
The following is a presentation of T.I.B.C. sports:

S L A N I B A L L
=============================
QUARTER-FINAL MATCHUP
=======================================
Toronto Island at The Republic TreeFox



Don Mclean (replacing the usual anchor) appeared behind a new, ultra-modern desk. Since the comeback of Toronto Island's Slaniball team (consisting of only Mel Lastman himself), the nation's only television network had grown to appreciate the phenomenal ratings each match was receiving, and thusly, was pumping more money into the coverage of each game, and their once pathetically under-funded sports desk.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to T.I.B.C.'s sports coverage of the first annual SlaniCup. Since Toronto Island's loss to Castillanos in the first round, 2 - 1, an entire nation has been overjoyed to have been given a second chance to redeem itself in international sports, and maybe even, despite the incredible odds, win another game.

The experts predicted that Toronto Island wouldn't even score a goal at any time in this tournament, yet amazingly, thanks to some strange act of god, the series was almost too close to call, with both match two and three heading into overtime.

And again, here we are, thanks to another miraculous act of god, heading into the quarter-final after winning the wildcard ticket. In the second round of play, our own Mel Lastman, representing the island, will face 23 players (that's two more players than Castillanos, mind you) representing (the also relatively young nation of) the Republic of TreeFox.

So this time, the odds are stacked even higher against Toronto Island (by two whole players). Heading into the first match, the opponent has the home-field advantage. Will we prevail yet again (although, technically we didn't in the first round...)? That remains to be seen.

Don's director shouted at him to stop talking in brackets in his earpiece, and demanded he finish the damn intro.

We now bring you live to The Republic of TreeFox, for Match 1 of the quarter-finals, en route to the SlaniCup Championship:
Melmond
27-08-2004, 05:53
Melmond Slaniball Update

After losing to Kingsford in the first round of the Slani Cup, the Foulmouth Farmers were seen at the Backwater Airport in the boonies of Melmond, still wearing their team uniforms and not even aware of what happened as they start to recover from the drunken stupor they were in the entire time in Slanitopia. They awaken at the airport and then stumble to the nearest bar with no memory of the Slani Cup.
Starblaydia
27-08-2004, 22:45
Play the Slanitania at their own game was always going to be tough, and Starblaydia just about managed to prove themselves worthy, losing to an Elephant-Time goal for the Slanitianianianians.

Slanitania opened the scoring first, as their Star Player dummied to the left, mannequined to the right and finally bronze-statued past the last Starblaydi defender.

Slanitania 1 - 0 Starblayda

Starblaydia pulled one back. In fact they pulled the whole Slanitania team back using the expert 'cowboy rustler' tactic, using a just-legal amount of rope and horses to coral the entire team while Starblaydia scored, not on horseback for course, as that would have been a Free Slani to the opposition.

Slanitania 1 - 1 Starblayda

The Slanitianianianians took the lead yet again, playing 9 men and the maximum allocation of 9 dogs on the pitch at once. Starblaydia's chihuaua's proved no match for the Slanitania poodles as Starblaydia conceded again.

Slanitania 2 - 1 Starblayda

Starblaydia then went ahead on the 'j00 sux0rZ' rule, as Internet Hackers and n00bs flooded the interweb-enabled scoreboard with random l33t hakz0rz information, giving Starblaydia two quick points

Slanitania 2 - 3 Starblayda

Then The Slani's brought out the big guns. Using the tried and tested Tiddlywink method, they equalised in the final slani minute of the match, sending it into Elephant Time.

Slanitania 3 - 3 Starblayda

Slanitania's African Elephants totally out-eared the Starblaydi Indian Elephants, romping home to win the match on the 'Titanium-Goal' rule, similar to the Golden or Silver Goal rule, only that the toughest team gets to win.

Slanitania 4 - 3 Starblayda (AET)
Toronto Island
27-08-2004, 23:58
Tonight on T.I.B.C.! Conan the Barbarian welcomes "Billigan's Island" star, Sam Forest, and musical guest "The Islanders"! Tonight at midnight, only on the island's only local network, T.I.B.C.!

The commercial faded out, and dissolved back to the game.

Ron: Jesus, I don't believe I've ever seen such violence in a Slaniball game.
Bob: Welcome back to Round 2 in the SlaniCup, and boy, Treefox is just walloping Toronto Island.
Ron: For those of you just joining us, Treefox has been dominating the game ever since the fish-slap.
Bob: Lastman pulled out some excess energy early in the second half and scored twice, using what had to be super-human strength. The kind a mother gets when her baby's in danger. And here they come again.
Ron: He's the one in danger Bob. Lastman's all alone down there, and they've just been pummeling him.
Bob: The cruel irony of it all. His leg finally finished healing today.
Ron: I wont be surprised if he leaves this game with more than one cast, and boy, that would be a sh-
Bob: Oh! That HAD to hurt!
Ron: Lastman's down again, and Treefox scores another field goal. Now he's behind by eight!
Bob: This is almost as painful as watching his first match in round one! Only twice as bad!
Ron: Well, techinically it wouldn't be twice as bad, that would imply that Treefox had to two times the amount of players, whereas it's actually just as bad, plus tw-
Bob: Shut up, would ya?
Ron: Well I-
Bob: Wait a minute! Look at this!
Ron: Lastman's found a hole in their defense! He's making a break for it!
Bob: What were the chances of that?
Ron: About 23 to 1 Bob.
Bob: Oh, shut up!
Ron: But he's not going to make it very far, they're gaining on him. His legs may be 100%, but that doesn't make him any faster than the Treefox team.
Bob: Run Lastman, Run!
Ron: Oh no, he's down! Let's see that again in slow-mo.
Bob: Oh Jesus, they got him right from behind. If he had of been preparing to shoot, that should've been a free shot.
Ron: Looks like Lastman disagrees with you, because he claims to the referee he was.
Bob: Well he's lying. You can see very clearly, the ball was below his waist before he got tackled. You can't shoot in that position.
Ron: I don't think I've ever seen Lastman this agitated in a Slaniball game before.
Bob: Funny, he's usually a prick. I suppose it's only beginning to show now.
Ron: And there it is, Lastman gets a purple card. That's another point to Treefox.
Bob: Boy, is he pissed.
Ron: One more purple card, and the referee will be forced to give him a green card, which means he's deported from the game. Oh, the irony.
Bob: So with only seconds left on the clock, the scoreboard reads: Toronto Island - 2, Treefox - 11.
Ron: Looks like Toronto Island is behind by a game again.
Bob: I suppose we'll find out if they can comeback one more time tomorrow night, and this time, with the home-field advantage!
Vilita
28-08-2004, 00:26
ROUND 2, MD2 SCORES IN YOUR TELEGRAM BOX!!!
The Eagles Nest
28-08-2004, 02:01
1-0?

ONE TO NOTHING?

*the coach surveys the bruised and battered team in the lockerroom* Now look, I understand that they got very physical this time around, btu you SCORED ELEVEN ON THEM LAST NIGHT.

But coach.

SHHHHHH. I don't want to hear it. Do you really want to lose this next game? I mean come on.

But coach......


No excuses....none at all. Now what can we do to get ready for the next match?

Um, maybe you could let me go to the hosptial and patch up this artery mayb...*he slumps to the floor*

Get him up and out of here. Anyone who needs medical attention go on to the ambulance with him.

*All but one player gets up and hobbles out of the room*

Well, why aren't you going?

I went 0 for 1 on saves, and they never came near me again. Are we in trouble?

No, they'll get fixed up. and we'll be fine.
Rejistania
28-08-2004, 02:25
OOC:
/me recieved no TG.
OOC2: Great RPing, Toronto Island!

<Alan_Slani> Stablaydia, for the sake of all that is good and holy, they didn't even qualify!
<Rikki_Slani> Salniball has a certain rule which allowed them to go through despite not participating in the quali.
<Mer_Slani> Slaniball has too many rules! And all in different books
<Selme_Slani> There was one attempt to make a file of Slaniball-rules and it miserably failed.
<Mer_Slani> How?
<Selme_Slani> They could not find a hard disk big enough for it.
<Mer_Slani> WTSH?
* Mer_Slani was kicked from #Slani_discussion by Coach_Qix_Slani (We are not in the IRC here)
-!- join Mer_Slani
<Mer_Slani> You can not kick me: We are not in the IRC here
<Coach_Qix_Slani> But I just did
* Coach_Qix_Slani is confused
<Mer_Slani> Maybe this is no reality, maybe this is just a simulation, some kind of game, only weirder.
<Coach_Qix_Slani> *lol*
<Alan_Slani> Start making sense!
<Mer_Slani> Think about it, maybe we are all only imagined.
Slanitopia
30-08-2004, 19:23
Semi-Final, MD1 SCORES IN YOUR TELEGRAM BOX!!!
Rejistania
30-08-2004, 23:29
Starblaydia is a team coming from nowhere and according to the Slani's of the slani Slaniball team, destined to go nowhere. Unfortunately, there was the last and deciding match, which took place in a computer pool. Of course no user there was warned and so they all looked pretty scared as the Slani Starblaydes and the Slani Slanis entered the room. Most people fled as they saw the wild horde throwing the slaniball around and shouting tactical orders, yay-ed or boo-ed, when they or the other team scored or sometimes decreased the score. One person however stayed calmly in front of his computer and muttered he'd kill anyone disturbing him. Since he had a pretty big knife, hid his eyes behind sunglasses and was clad in all black, the teams did not disturb him. In Slanitime however, people of the Starblaydian national team looked what he was doing and which sites he were browsing. It was some strange nation-simulation game... Starblaydia was leading 6-4 but suddently everyone wanted to look at that gameThe Slani Slanitanians scored as fast as possible and surely would have reached 100-6 if the Starblaydes wouldn't really protested to make the Slani First Throw after slanigoals. So the score remained at 9:6 and the Slanitanian Slaniball Slanis enter the next round.
Isles of Wohlstand
30-08-2004, 23:36
Sargeant Domingaz, aka 'Coach', atleast for now, steps into the locker room, beginning to speak

"Good job guys, we won this round, but don't think its over yet. We have this mission to complete. I know you guy's aren't liking having to play sports, but thing of this more as a 'hand-to-hand combat' situation with a ball added in, and you'll do fine. If not then we go home losers, and we all know that the General, our leader, Alexei Hessinger, does not like when we lost. Which I do find ironic just now because he makes sure that the media always shows the good stuff. Anyhow, do your job!"

The Red Berets let out their motto and fall silent. One them stood up.

"Sarge, er, I mean coach...are we autherized to kill, or no?"

The Sarge looked at him, a serious look on his face.

"This is sports, boy, and we can't kill, but we might as well make them immobile, you got that? No death, just a semi-truck amount of pain for their team. Oh, and don't try to break the rules...whatever they may be."

The Red Beret nods and sits down, the Sarge saying one last thing.

"Give em hell, and come back with victory. You are dismissed for now. Also, keep acting like the 'retards' you're supposed to be, off the field, but when we get on field, cream em"

The Red Berets yell out their slogan again and run off in seperate directions.
The Eagles Nest
31-08-2004, 01:43
9-2 IoW over TEN

We pan into the staidum right before this happens....


and It's 2-1 and I think TEN has got this one in the bag, wait a minute...is that? yes i think it is...a Slaniball gun.

Oh dear god, that goalie, he's got to get out of the way.

*Blam blam blam blam....*

OH THE HUMANITY! he's be slani'ed to death, he's blocked a few, but .........*sigh* 8 have scored, and well, they are picking up the pieces of .......a moment of silence will you?











Thank you.


*the TV screen fades next to a VERY irate coach of the TEN team.*

As you can see, IoW BLATANTLY used a slaniball gun outside of well *rumages the hundreds of papers on the table* well, it wasn't pre notified, and under oh screw it on this page right here it says you have to inform people so they can get the electro armor on before hand.

"Will he be ok?"

OK???????????? WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?

Well, that happend to Ji'na'ga 3 years ago and they sent him to Slanitopia to put him back together.... was pretty much a bang up job.

*the TEN coach runs out screaming at the people to get a plane ready and go now...he comes back and then starts to rummage through the papers...

AH HA!


"In the event of dismemberment via an illegal slaniball gun the team of the unfortunate victim can petition to be entered into the final of a tournament with any other teams that qualify."

In essence....a Tri-Match.

*gasps all around* But sir, the last tri match....well it...

I don't care. The petition will be filed.......right now. Illegal gun, my boy lost well, he's quite dismembered......so he lost everything, and we are due due process on this. TEN demands a trimatch with Slanitopia and whoever wins the other bracket.

*The coach walks out amid gasps and slack jaws, and then the rush to the phones begin*
Toronto Island
01-09-2004, 03:22
The following is a presentation of T.I.B.C. sports:


---------\-\-\-\-\-\-\----------
----------\-\-\-\-\-\-\----------
------ S L A N I C U P --------
---------/-/-/-/-/-/-/----------
---------/-/-/-/-/-/-/-----------

2 0 0 4


QUARTER-FINALS, GAME 3:
TREEFOX at TORONTO ISLAND
SERIES TIED 1 -1


Again, the entire nation was watching, and was securing TIBC with more money than they knew what to do with. Slowly, but surely, Slaniball was emerging as the biggest cultural phenomenon to ever sweep the relatively small island. Everywhere you went, kids were playing a game of street Slaniball. T-Shirts, hats, bumper stickers, and more were being sold at every store. A new, Slaniball league had been started, and already had six teams, two of which were on the far reaches of the Greater Toronto Area. A new, more professional Toronto Island national team had been assembled, but unfortunately, it was a little too late for them to enter the tournament. Lastman was still on his own, the sole member of the competing Toronto Island national team.

Which is why it was even more amazing when he beat Treefox, a team with 23 players on their roster, in Game 2, 3 - 2. Nobody was really sure how. A severe hangover on the behalf of the entire Treefox team was everybody's best guess, as it was glaringly apparent when the stadium lights were turned on. Treefox's only weakness. Alcohol.

The constant suspense was beginning to take it's toll on the islanders. Having their team almost constantly staring elimination in the face (and having already been eliminated once), blood pressures around the nation were being closely monitored during each game. But there was nothing they could do. It was time for the all important Game 3. It was time to decide who would move on to the semi-finals.

After a long, struggling battle between the drunken Treefox team and Lastman, only ten minutes of play were left, and the score was tied, 3 a piece.

Bob: Ten minutes left!
Ron: And the action is just back and forth. I don't think I've ever seen such an exciting Slaniball game.
Bob: But can Lastman hold on! The Treefox team looks like they're sobering up!
Ron: And beginning to realize where they are.
Bob: Oh, gosh, number 23's puking again.
Ron: Here comes the cleaning crew.
Bob: The referees are definitely getting frustrated.
Ron: That they are, and it looks like they're going to do something about it.
Bob: Well, my guess is that they're going to revoke their remaining timeouts.
Ron: You're right! And boy, the Treefox coach doesn't look too happy about that.
Bob: Well you've got to feel for those poor referees, stopping play over and over again just because nobody from Treefox can hold their liquor.
Ron: And they start the clock again.
Bob: Another player's down! That's ten!
Ron: And they stop play again. Wow, I'm getting frustrated just watching this.
Bob: You'd think they'd take a sport like Slaniball seriously.
Ron: Exactly ten players disqualified for puking! That's a third-degree penalty!
Bob: And here comes the giant squid!
Ron: The what?!

Just then, the audio went dead. The squid knocked out the line connected the booth to the transmitter. Now, the home audience could only hear the ambience of the field.

As the giant rolled across the field, Lastman lined up at his end. The Treefox players stumbled around the centre-field circle. Only half of them knew what they were supposed to be doing.

The whistle blew, and Lastman charged down the pitch like his life depended on it. The Treefox players, in zombie-like fashion, threw themselves at him. But as the massive players landed on him in one, huge, drunken dog-pile, he held the ball out of the mass of bodies, only his arm still visible to the crowd. One of the remaining Treefox defenders walked over to the ball, un-zipped his pants, and began to urinate all over it.

The referee called for the dog-pile to disperse, giving Lastman a free-throw. His opponents stumbled around into a wall to block the shot. Lastman wound up the urine-soaked ball, and tossed it right at the face of the rat who disgraced it in the first place. Knowing what he had just done to the ball, and that it was about to land a big one right on his lips, naturally, he ducked. The ball hit the goal bag. Lastman scored.

Upon reviewing the rules, the referees judged that a urine-soaked ball was worth and extra four points, meaning, to score with one, was to earn 5 points. Not only that, but you earned an extra free-throw. However, it had to be taken from the parking lot.

After a brief stoppage in play, Lastman was officially outside the stadium, standing on the roof of his tour bus. The Treefox team assumed the game was over, as Lastman had left the field, and did so themselves in turn. They headed for their own bus, and celebrated their bizarre victory.

Lastman threw the ball at the stadium with every ounce of strength he had. That amount alone was enough to get it to about two cars ahead of him in the parking lot. However, strangely enough, a blue jay caught the ball, and proceeded to fly into the stadium, and landed, miraculously enough, right on the goal bag, holding the ball just inches away from it. If the ball touched the bag, Lastman scored another point.

Lastman walked back into the field. The entire stadium was on their feet, holding their breath, as the bird dangled the ball above the bag. The referee walked right up to the bird in amazement, as the clock ticked down:

10. The bird blinked. 9. The referee blinked. 8. Lastman blinked. 7. The entire audience blinked in unison. 6. The bird again. The clock ticked down to one second before the referee sneezed right in the face of the bird. In terror, the bird dropped the ball on the bag.

It was single-handedly, the best Slaniball shot in history. Toronto Island advanced to the semi-finals.
The Eagles Nest
02-09-2004, 00:46
MD1:
Isles of Wholstand 10
Slanitania 8
The Eagles Nest 4

IoW Leads 1-0-0



I am embarassed in this game. Now look , I know we are all worried about Johnny, but we have to make a good showing for him...I mean we have to play to win this next match. It has to be done!

Um, coach....


yes?

Is Johnny gonna live?

Aww hell, I hope so I mean he looked pretty bad, lots of blood loss. maybe we'll.......

*behind the door a commotion is heard, apparently something of interest has happened.

DANG IT? what's going on out there.

*Johnny walks in, but it is evident that part of his arms and legs are nbow cybertronic extentions.* Hi coach. Can I play next game?

Um err, um...well are you cleared?

yeah doc cleared me...the cybertronic implants are Slani legal.and I can modify them a bit to help defend the goal. I can't show you in here...not enough room.

So you can play.....wait *rummages through his mountain of players* Hey we get a free goal this next game! "dismemberment returnees gains the team one goal for free for the next game he returns."

*sigh* WHO IN THE HECK CAME UP WITH THESE RULES. next thing you know there will be a rule on grandma's who play on opposing teams and die of a heart attack.

Um, coach *holds up paper* there is.

Oh Hell.......
Vilita
02-09-2004, 00:48
Semi-Final, MD1 SCORES IN YOUR TELEGRAM BOX!!!

Whoops :)
Isles of Wohlstand
03-09-2004, 00:35
General Alexei Hessinger looks at the television, silently muttering to himself.

"Very good...very good indeed. Seem we are leading. Bah, I barely know whats going on"

He then speaks aloud

"General Roe!!! Get over here!"

Roe rushes into the room and salutes.

"At ease...we just won the first match day of the finals. Tell the coach to keep up the good work, and to try and squeeze out more skills from our highly honored Slaniball team."

Roe nods and confirms.

"Yes sir!"

He rushes out of the room and to the phone, then calls up the coach. Miles and miles away, the coach recieves the message and begins to relay it to his team.

"Team, good job! We are the front runners so far, but we must do better, remember, you are Red Berets, you show no defeat. If you win, you will be rewarded when you get home, heavily, and at any price, if you lose, you will still be heroes, according to the General. Good job, and keep up the word!"

The team shouts out their slogan and begin to converse, readying themself for the next match.
Rejistania
03-09-2004, 23:43
Isles of Wholstand 10
Slanitania 8
The Eagles Nest 4

IoW Leads 1-0-0

"A tri-match? Are they crazy?" Coach Slani shouted when he saw the fixtures.

"This is Slanitanian Slaniball, it is a REQUIREMENT!" Urk Slani was also angry, it was not sure if about the tri-match, the coach, his failure to manage the 50 points throw nine times in succession (don't forget that he is a godmod and not a player) or life in general.

"A tri-match? How many goals are used there?" Alan Slani wasn't the brightest one, but since he is responsible for about 25% of all Slanitanian slanigoals, the rest of the teams pretends not to notice.

"9 goals, Alan." answered the coach.

Deseretalivatisulutirakisaxedairi-Ly Slani smiled: "Will we use variable nsedu-ing? Like in the glorious match in 1782?"

"I don't think you can learn to variable-nsedu fast enough." coach Qix smiled back at the substitute with the unpronouncable name, "I thought about Xanti-Hserda. Alan, Urk, Rikki, Qix, Likung, Syly did you hear that already?"

The six godmods stopped doing whatever they were doing (I won't go into detail here), looked at the coach and murmured in agreement.

Deseretalivatisulutirakisaxedairi-Ly Slani didn't smile, when he heard that. Of course, he wasn't as good as the godmods, but he has a good tactical understanding and knows how to increase the own score or decrease the one of the opponent. The tactical system, which the coach just proposed is ugly in his opinion. Dynamic Nsedu-ing would have a certain quality, which any other system is lacking. "If I have to do a thing, I do it quite in style..." He didn't say anything, but his day was ruined.

(the match)
The first Senga was good for Slanitania, Rikki and Likung Slani, brought the Slanitania Slaniball Slanis ahead 3 - 20 - -2, then, Sikin made a horrible mistake, causing own-decrements, after a Wohlstand hetaki, the score suddently was 9 - 2 - 3. Qix substituted Sikin Slani with Deseretalivatisulutirakisaxedairi-Ly Slani. Encouraged by the fan chants, the Slani increased the scores again (the position of a nsedu in a tri-match is not as fixed as in a normal match, which allowed him to show his quality to find the not guarded lower increments). In the end, it was Alan Slani, how costed the victory. Since both TEN and IoW guard the highest increment in a Slanitanian attack, he always attacked that slanigoal. Suddently the Isles of Prosperity used a mean tactic: they defended another slanigoal during the Slanitanian attack. Alan Slani did of course score into that goal, he is a godmod, so failure is not an option. Well, that decreased the Slanitanian score and made Inseln des Wohlstandes winner of that match.