NationStates Jolt Archive

Colony Cup 1.1
Hosted by: Vilita, Crystilakere & Liverpool England



The Following teams are signed up for the Colony Cup:
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/sports/cup/colony/list.gif

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/sports/cup/colony/cry.gifhttp://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/sports/cup/colony/cha.gif
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/sports/cup/colony/vil.gifhttp://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/sports/cup/colony/tur.gif

About Tournament Format:

There will be Four groups of Six (24 Teams). The Four Groups are all within the Atlantian Oceania Region (Click for Map (http://www.3wideracing.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=172)). However, The Chacor Region will be run by officials from Liverpool England, as the state of play in Chacor is not yet of a standard to run an international tournament without such assistance. Each team will play each other once, at which point the bottom two teams in each group will be eliminated. at this point the Continuation Round begins. 1 v 4 and 2 v 3 in each group in a two-legged series. if scores are level after 90 minutes in match 2, Extra Time, then penalty kicks until there is a winner. After the Continuation Round, there will be 8 Remaining Teams. At this point it will become Single Elimination/Knockout.


About Scorination & Results:

There will be a large RP bonus. It will not be as extensive as has been used in the Baptism of Fire Cup in the past, however it will have a larger affect than it would in a normal World Cup Competition, this is due to the brief amount of matchdays played before knockout round begins. RP bonus takes on this importance because, The Colony Cup 1.1 Semi-Finalists are guaranteed their spot in the World Cup 17 Qualifiers. Puppet space in the Qualifiers is traditionally limited, and in the past has been chosen by trimming puppets out of the field in order of which they signed up. By reserving 4 spots in the Qualifiers for the Colony Cup Semi Finalists, Good, Participant Nations will have a better chance of making it into the qualifiers, without having to dodge the puppet axe of the past. When you RP, you should also RP using your Puppet Nation, as this is what would be required in the World Cup. While you will still receive credit for posting with your master nation, you will receive twice as much bonus for using your puppet account while RPing.


About Second Entries:

Yes. You can enter more than one puppet. However, there is a catch. You can only an additional puppet, if your first puppet has a KPB Ranking better than 200. IE: They must have competed in One of the last 3 World Cups (Not Including Current). Then You may also enter another puppet, whether it is listed on KPB, or whether it is Completely New. If your Puppet has No KPB Ranking, and You have no Puppet with a KPB Ranking, then you may only enter a single Puppet.

Will Entering the Colony Cup list my nation on the KPB Rankings?

No. There will likely be a seperate rankings system for puppets, but the Colony Cup will not affect your KPB Ranking. Therefore, If your Puppet has no Rank now, Enters the Colony Cup, Then does not compete in the World Cup, You will still have only one entry in the Colony Cup, as You will still have no KPB Rank for your Puppet.

Starting 11
GK :: Milauo Slietah ( 24 ) : Cednia Beach
xD :: Linoi Niabula ( 24 ) : Tivali Ctiy (VIL)
xD :: Marlian Hunial ( 24 ) : FC Almintora
xD :: Martika Ecspo ( 23 ) : Vilitan Exiles (NCD)
xD :: Kiatin Likao ( 24 ) : Tivali Ctiy (VIL)
xM :: Tika Poloni ( 29 ) : Vilitan Exiles (NCD)
xM :: Malaino Mumamba ( 18 ) : Cednia Beach
xM :: Yabaiy Tbaiao ( 24 ) : Tivali Ctiy (VIL)
xM :: Cuolia Tuirma ( 23 ) : Marine Coast (VIL)
xF :: Jualiar Vumaou ( 23 ) : Jlinal Cove (VIL)
xF :: Akamoari Liano ( 24 ) : Yeaddin Owls (VIL)

Substitutes

GK :: Aaron White ( 20 ) : Oglethorpia
xD :: Maratima Tareak ( 15 ) :
xM :: Ugo Doohan ( 19 ) : Kionao Locals
DM :: Rikko Ambama ( 25 ) : Vilitan Exiles (NCD)
xM :: Boaibou Houabou ( 29 ) : Kionao Locals
xF :: Kaboafo Iobabao ( 24 ) : Mliona-Lpaka
MF :: Mika Sakatorra ( 19 ) : Cedniavella

Alternates

GK :: Trevor Ugnata ( 19 ) : Vilitan Exiles (NCD) NEWI-Cefn Druids
xD :: Arturo Bengali ( 25 ) : Saugerties Snakes (SAR) Sarzonia
xD :: Moiba Linaian ( 24 ) : Yeaddin Owls (VIL)
xM :: Makaus Likao ( 24 ) : Wunokalsa Waridi
xM :: Tika Poloni ( 29 ) : Vilitan Exiles (NCD)
MF :: Izzitra Bomai ( 17 ) : Wunokalsa Waridi
xD :: Rocky Siregar ( 18 ) : Terrarokka Spirit
MF :: Martiia Rawaii ( 18 ) :

Super-Alternates

GK :: G.Q. Disterfred ( 35 ) : Kionao Locals
xF :: Mauritus Banda ( 37 ) : FC Almintora Vilita
xD :: Oswaldo Alegre ( 70 ) : Vagabundo (KNG) Kingsford
SW :: Duncan Jacob ( 23 ) : Corinthian Spirits (STR) Starblaydia

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/ao/turorikit.gif

The Slani Roster: (Ages)

GK- Magomedkhabib Zarechny (17)

DC- Rejis Zachoualin (21)
DC- Star Ziaibnaliaouv (22)
DC- Bedi Zonoibaou (17)

DM- King Zortuck (16)

ML- Street Zicaboo (16)
MC- Commerce Zalinderfet (14)
MC- Eagle Zifetamiaouqbl (20)
MR- Eau Zacoqibaoubawbauapviyuwvb'ZaouibsoaitalkuvlivacopayebptepapPuabacas (23)
-------------*Better known as "Eau Z."

FC- Vili Zamshultero (19)
FC- Eystr Zamshultero (17)

SUBS:

XU- Melly Ziataruia (21)
XU- L.E. Zaturatifa (4)
XU- Tuna Zifezimantaviwa (20)
XU- Sarzo Zamaturenti (19)
XU- Newi Zatoraanoa (18)
XU- Revolu Zifegaviwa (20)

[OOC: Jolt is giving me cheek with its account system, so all posts from Nova Britannicus will come from Starblaydia.]

IC:

"So right now we're onto International Football, and the Colony Cup, which is being held right here in Atlantian Oceania. Troy?"

"It sure is Trey, and our good neighbours, Nova Britannicus, will be competing in the Tournament in Vilita and Crystilakere. Let's take a look at their team..."

Team: The Loose City-State Association of Nova Britannicus
Home Colours: Dark Blue with yellow piping
Away Colours: White with red flashes.

"Well, Troy, most of their players come from the home league, where a team from each of the six City-States competes in a small league. A few, however, have managed to migrate into the youth teams of Starblaydi clubs."

Starting XI
===========
1. Henry Tuckworth, GK, 17, Tuncastle Rovers
2. John Bowman, RB, Tuncastle Rovers
3. Joe Fletcher, LB, 18, Vecchio Victors (Star Alpha)
4. Wilbert Willis, DM, 20, Foxchester Raiders
5. Billie Saddler, R/CB, 18, Foxchester Raiders
6. Kenneth Manley, CB, 19, Penningworth Utd (Star Alpha)
7. Eddie Hogue, DM, 19, Beverington Hawks
8. Kenny England, SC, 19, Hersch Albion (Star Alpha))
9. Charlie Bowman, CF, 20, Corinthian Spirits (Star Alpha)
10. John McDonald, CF, 19, Hernsworth Cubs
11. Dean Caliban, SC, 19, Beverington Hawks

Substitutes
===========
12. Desmond Ellis, GK, 18, Foxchester Raiders
13. James Bates, L/CB, 17, Foxchester Raiders
14. Norman Davies, RB, 17, Beverington Hawks
15. Bob Richmond, CM, 19, Widdrington Wolves
16. Charlie French, AM, 18, Montepool Waves
17. Jonathan Lyon, CF, 18, Montepool Waves
18. Winston Marsden, SC, 18, Foxchester Raiders

Reserves
========
19. Nick Cavaletti, GK, 15, Iskara Daii (Star Alpha)
20. Malcolm Swan, CB, 18, Hernsworth Cubs
21. Christopher Bell, LM, 18, Tuncastle Rovers
22. Reginald Winthrop, AM, 17, Foxchester Raiders
23. Trevor Neville, SC, 17, Hernsworth Cubs

"Now as we can see, Nova Britannicus play a 4-2-4..."

"A four-two-four?"

"That's right, Trey."

"Aww, that's quaint, Troy."



Tuckworth

Sadler Manley
J. Bowman Fletcher

Willis Hogue

England Caliban
C. Bowman McDonald


"Apparently, this is a team looking to get into the World-Cup 18 Qualifiers, where I'm sure they'll get toasted."

"I think you're right, Troy, but keep your opinions to yourself, we're due to be broadcasting over the Association any day now."

"Will, do Trey, Mr. Rules"

"Troy, you're a jackass..."

1. Henry Tuckworth, GK, 17, Tuncastle Rovers


We have now reason to suspect that Henry Tuck, after streaking and fleeing from WC14, has a second possible location. The first was Sargent Trevor Tuck of NEWI Cefn Druids, but Henry Tuckworth also appears to be a prime suspect, of Nova Britannicus. We believe Tuck to be located somewhere in Atlantian Oceania, and advise all nations there to look out for him, particularly Nova Britannicus and NEWI Cefn Druids. It is highly likely Mr. Tuck is in Vilita, Turori, Starblaydia, Chacor, or Crystilakere, but we advise all nations to keep on the watch.

-The Ministry of Putting Criminals in Jail and Such Related Matters-




Also, the following is Wapahkoneta's Roster.

GK - Ationokonee
DF - Spencialawbe
DF - Missemediqueety
DF - Aweekonee
MD - Wawahchepaehai
MD - Maunahpeykaw
MD - Sowahquothe
MD - Baptikutee
FW - Wesekahnee
FW - Nawahtahtha
FW - Eyengeking

Subs:
GK - Hokantitakarchi
DF - Kekanathuko
MD - Chikatakyen
FW - Tegosbea

THE INVINCIBLES ::: COLONY CUP

HOME COLOURS
AWAY COLOURS

Manager: Adam WOOLGER
Assistant Manager: Pete RIKER

Home Stadium: Ash Park, Avenell (cap 61,000)

GOALKEEPERS
1. Jon LUMAN (33, Avenell City)
13. Stuart TAYLOR (25, Stacey Athletic)
24. Matthew MILLER (29, Bletchley Town)

DEFENDERS
3. Andy COLEMAN (30, Stacey Athletic)
23. Steve CAMPBELL (33, Southern)
18. Paco SEAGOON (26, Avenell City)
12. Lawrence ETHAM (29, Casuals Osteria (KRY))
22. Gavin CLEACHY (23, Hodge Green)
20. Phil SANDERS (23, Fishermead)
30. Steve TATLER (28, Bletchley Town)
33. Ben CHORLEY (26, Wolverton Town)
28. Karl TERRY (29, Wolverton Town)

MIDFIELDERS
7. Rob PEARS (31, Avenell City)
4. Paddy FERREIRA (31, Stacey Athletic)
8. Fred YOUNG (32, Bradwell Villa)
15. Ray PAUL (34, New Bradwell St Peter)
17. Ed GASPER (33, Newport United)
21. Jamie PANNEN (25, Wolverton Town)
11. Rob PERCY (26, Blue-White Remires (KRY))

FORWARDS
14. Terry HANRATTY (31, Avenell City)
9. Josh RAYMOND (24, Stacey Athletic)
10. Frank JEFFERIES (24, Shenley United)
26. Jeremy ALDER (25, Newport United)

-The Ministry of Putting Criminals in Jail and Such Related Matters-

We have now reason to suspect that Henry Tuck, after streaking and fleeing from WC14, has a second possible location. The first was Sargent Trevor Tuck of NEWI Cefn Druids, but Henry Tuckworth also appears to be a prime suspect, of Nova Britannicus. We believe Tuck to be located somewhere in Atlantian Oceania, and advise all nations there to look out for him, particularly Nova Britannicus and NEWI Cefn Druids. It is highly likely Mr. Tuck is in Vilita, Turori, Starblaydia, Chacor, or Crystilakere, but we advise all nations to keep on the watch.

Official Statement from Mr & Mrs F.G. Tuckworth, 162 Acacia Avenue, Tuncastle, Nova Britannicus:

"Our boy Henry shows no propensity towrds wearing black, blowing whistles or waving colour-coded pieces of paper at other players, or even quoting rules, ruining football matches and getting pushed over by Paulo Di Canio. In fact, he takes quite a dislike of referees."

When pointed out that its not the same Henry Tuck as the referee who has denied Starblaydia one at least one occasion, but a World Cup Streaker, they said:

"I must say that during World Cup 14, our Henry was just 9 years old, and we certainly had him clothed during that time and we didn't let him out of our sight while we settled down to watch the competition. I thought Kingsford were very lucky, mind you. Maybe their Secret Police are after us because I was telling Mrs Miggins over the garden wall that I thought that Kingsford player who scored in the final was offside, and then Mrs Miggins said she thought it was too and that Rejistania deserved to win. So I said that the Rejistanians..."

When pointed out by her husband that Mrs Tuckworth was babbling on as usual, Mrs Tuckworth promtly shut up and her husband took over the statement

"We don't like those naturist types, and I certainly didn't bring up my son to be a long-haired, tree-hugging, nudy bum-showing-off-man!"

The Ministry has requested of the Tuckworth Family, since they are so confident that their son is not the infamous streaker, that they allow him to be questioned. They also would like to know the whereabouts of this referee, Henry Tuck, whom they have heard nothing about.

((because i'm too lazy to log in as Vorpal Bunnies))

The team for Vorpal Bunnies, with some extras that may be replaced as the preprations to the World Cup go:

1 - Jim
2 - Joe
3 - Joe II
4 - Jack
5 - Jimmy
6 - Jung
7 - John
8 - Josh
9 - Josh II
10 - Jack
11 - Jorge
12 - Jesus (pronounced Je soozz)
13 - June
14 - Jill
15 - Jack II
16 - Johnny
17 - Jayce
18 - Judd

Coach: Judy

Positions and starters have yet to be determined, as we are having trouble getting them to actually play instead of hop around all over the place.

We have now reason to suspect that Henry Tuck, after streaking and fleeing from WC14, has a second possible location. The first was Sargent Trevor Tuck of NEWI Cefn Druids, but Henry Tuckworth also appears to be a prime suspect, of Nova Britannicus. We believe Tuck to be located somewhere in Atlantian Oceania, and advise all nations there to look out for him, particularly Nova Britannicus and NEWI Cefn Druids. It is highly likely Mr. Tuck is in Vilita, Turori, Starblaydia, Chacor, or Crystilakere, but we advise all nations to keep on the watch.


The Slanitopia Premiere met with his Advisors in a Secret Slani Bunker:

SP: Well, At Least we've sent them off for a little while.

A1: Yes Sire, we should have them rummaging all over Atlantian Oceania for a while.

A2: Do you like my discovery in Starblaydia to send them off course! I took him to the Nova Brittanicus FA immediately when I found he had an NB Grandmother!

SP: Yes, good work you dumb chip, you picked an 8 year old to set them off on a full grown nudest. Great Job, all you've done is made one less area for them to be suspicous of!

A1: Don't worry Sire, King Zortuck will never be uncovered. They are too hung up on Henry to realize we've granted him noble status on that slani island we conqured last month

SP: You're right, we should be fine.

::end of transmission::

http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/InquisitionLo.jpg

"Kingsford are after a streaking referee, apparently," Lucius said, looking over a few reports, "One Henry Tuck. You say you got these from ordinary Newspapers?"

"Yes, Inquisitor," said the agent.

"Well, I'll release these sources to the Kingsford Ministry of Doing Bugger All Themselves, or whatever they're called."


Tuck denies Starblaydia U21 (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=6568725&highlight=Henry+Tuck#post6568725)

Tuck Denies Rejistania in WCXV (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=6560784&highlight=Henry+Tuck#post6560784)

Henry Tuck did do a brief stint as a referee during the Under 21 Cup. However this second Henry Tuck, the one who denied Rejistania of their win, has not been on the World Cup Record. This could mean that a third possible destination for the Missing Henry Tuck is within the Emerald Heights themselves, in the near neighbor of Eauz. Kingsforder Government Officials are inquiring the Eauzan government and have posted a lookout for Henry Tuck, who is wanted for a grand total of 47 counts of public exposure, destruction of Government Owned Property, Posing as an officer of the law, and being a general pest.

Pterodactyl 's Soar into Colony Cup

Pterodactyl has also now players for the National Team.

The Pterodactyl Goalkeeper is Spreddinou Thawings, from the North Sky Clan. The Pterodactly Defense is lead by Swoopi Ndown, who is joined by South Sky Clan teammate Divi Nlow and West Sky Clan's Flo Tinround. East Sky Clan's Wayu Phigh sometimes plays Defense, and sometimes is the backup for the Goalkeeper. The Pterodactyl midfield has Movi Nup, Evolti On and Cann Otrun from Central Sky Clan with Bigwi Ngspan from East Sky Clan. The Forwards on Pterodactyl are Catchi Nadraft and Surpri Seattak from North Sky Clan.

SP: Well, At Least we've sent them off for a little while.

A1: Yes Sire, we should have them rummaging all over Atlantian Oceania for a while.

A2: Do you like my discovery in Starblaydia to send them off course! I took him to the Nova Brittanicus FA immediately when I found he had an NB Grandmother!

SP: Yes, good work you dumb chip, you picked an 8 year old to set them off on a full grown nudest. Great Job, all you've done is made one less area for them to be suspicous of!

A1: Don't worry Sire, King Zortuck will never be uncovered. They are too hung up on Henry to realize we've granted him noble status on that slani island we conqured last month

SP: You're right, we should be fine.

::end of transmission::


The Ministry has turned all efforts to detain Slanitopian player King Zortuck. Possibly being a Kingsforder exile, and maybe the elusive Henry Tuck himself. So far, the Slanitopian government has refused to cooperate with the Kingsforder government, and if necessary, force will be used to obtain Mr. Zortuck. The government will stop at nothing to obtain the most infamous Kingsforder criminal, the brash, the nude, the cunning, Henry Tuck.

Any posts from me are in the name of Chacor.

IC:
Chacorian police arrest 34-year-old nudist by name of Tucker Henrinny
Chacorian police today arrested Tucker Henrinny, 34, who held a Chacorian and Starblaydian passport on him, for walking out of the country nude. While nudity is legal in Chacor, it is not legal to be nude except in a shower outside 40 miles of a major city - Henrinny was 42 miles outside the outskirts of the capital Chacoria. The Chacorian police have handed him over to border patrol, who have flown him to Kingsford for identification.

Any posts from me are in the name of Chacor.


From Now on you only get HALF credit for posts made with your master account. This Goes for all, not just LE. All posts already made will be judged as if they were posted by the puppet itself..

Thank You, have a nice day :)

Is there a way to play with 20 teams instead of 24?

that way we can get started....

Is there a way to play with 20 teams instead of 24?

that way we can get started....

We've got 24. Groups Drawn, you may begin your RP's. Remember you only get half credit if you post with your Master account and not your puppet account.

Nova Britannicus' Posting Rules:
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

*sigh*

Looks like double the number of Starblaydia as NB posts, then.

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/sports/teams/marligantis/logo.gif

The Marligantis Roster:
GK :: Mnan'i A'a ( 24 )
xD :: R'iaa Traiargiir'aag'u'a ( 24 )
xD :: Iunu Naailinr ( 24 )
xD :: Aaanura'tlilraoanimr Larirr'n ( 23 )
xD :: Iimg Ga'rr ( 24 )
xM :: Uami'u Ortigorii'g ( 29 )
xM :: Ri'ai'tniiuoiuin Iln ( 18 )
xM :: Mr'iurir'mr Atiou'irriia ( 24 )
xM :: Rui'mliala'I'r Tul ( 23 )
xF :: Iolgmiia'irot'rl'g No'ttaai'rltuggu ( 23 )
xF :: Aar Lai'aao ( 24 )

GK :: Irr G'anrioii ( 20 )
xD :: Uuiu'n Or'ogimat'i ( 15 )
xU :: Mari'tani Li'guon ( 17 )
xM :: Rrrgogrn'ttal Ioailiti'loi'aii ( 19 )
DM :: Marliiar A'i ( 25 )
xM :: Rng'i Toin'rrnaaootom'go ( 29 )
xF :: Iaoioo'oiii'rgi'ir Eoriolinaaao'gn ( 24 )

The cable guy stood up, pulling up his belt to cover the builder's cleavage he had displayed to the family while he fitted their new cable connection.

"So do we get all the sports channels on this?" asked the head of the family.

"Yes, sir. You get stuff from all over Atlantian Oceania. Here."

The cable guy flicked over the channels. NEWI Cefn Druidish Cricket, Vilitan Stellar League matches, Starblaydi Ice Hockey Preparations and then rested on the Nova Britannican sports channel.

"Oh, leave that on."

Before them was the announcer, with slicked-down Brylcream hair and a cut-glass voice.

"Now, Ladies and Gentlemen, the featured Sporting Programme for this evening's entertainment. We go to the Altantian Oceanian Nation of Crystilakere for the full report on Nova Britannicus as they enter themselves in the Colony Cup. It's Sports Round-up, with Nigel Cholmondley-Warner."

With some quite stirring string music, the show is introduced.

"Hello everyone and welcome to Sports Round-up. I'm Nigel Cholmondley-Warner and I'm here to bring you all the reports, reactions and other things beginning with 'R'.

"Nova Britannicus have sent a rather young team to Crystilakere, with the average age of the 23-man squad being just over eighteen years of age. Nova Britannicus will be facing five other teams in their Group, which will consist of League play, upon which the bottom two teams will drop out.

"Here's the Group, with each team's World Ranking."

(045) Turori
(066) HypercapitaliZm
(158) Finrods
(200) Insane Inflation
(200) Nova Britannicus
(200) Chacor

[i]"Now, let's the expert opinion on each team from Starblaydi International and Nova Britannicus Team Coach David Bentley, who's grandfather came from Nova Britannicus."

Bentley on... Turori

"Turori are Starblaydia's real rivals in the region, as they're right up close in the World Rankings at 45 and 47. We should expect the Vilitan Colony to top this group by some distance as they have the best players, frankly. Anything from this game, even a single goal, would be an achievement

Bentley on... HypercapitaliZm

They'll be looking to finish no worse than second in the group, and hoping to emulate their parent nation of Commerce Heights, who are soon-to-be dethroned as World Champions. Together with Turori, they're some way ahead of the chasing pack.

Bentley on... Finrods

Our Master's team played them recently and earned a 1-1 draw, so I believe that Finrods will be the first target for NB to aim for as they attempt to climb the table. Lovisa are the only parent nation in this group I don't know much about, I'm afraid.

Bentley on... Insane Inflation

The second economy-based nation in the group, they're another Colony of Rejistania, one of which has moved into AO just across from Starblaydia. Its our Under-21s who know most about the 'Karela' System that many Rejistanian teams play, and NB will be looking to overcome this style."

Bentley on... Chacor

"They're hosting a group of this event, but playing in a different group under competitive rules. Not much is known about them, but if they inherit any of their parent nation's footballing ability, the bottom of this group will be very close indeed."

Finally, Bentley on... Nova Britannicus

"As we've heard NB have sent a very young team to this event, which is pointing to the future for World Cups and the like. NB have a great amount of Sporting Talent, which seems to run like a vein through the nations of Altantian Oceania. We play a very attacking game, with at least four people up front at any one time. Our 4-2-4 isn't a standard formation, but with our attack-minded wingers and big centre-forwards we can hold our own with anyone, we think. NB will have to be the best of the three 200-ranked teams to make the cut at the Group stage and from there, anything can happen."

"David Bentley, Thankyou and good luck. Now we turn to the news story engulfing the run-up to this tournament, with a profile on the Kingsforder fugitive Henry Tuck."

The self-titled tune by the Fun Lovin' Criminals plays, and we see a montage of Henry Tucks antics, whether its Red Cards in the Under-21 and World Cups, or a censored 'streaking' incident, followed by newspaper headlines of Kingsford Police searching for the man and any unfortunate name-sakes, including one Henry Tuckworth, 17, the NB Goalie.

"I think they're just doing it to put young Henry off," says Mr Tuckworth, Henry's father, "Them foreigners will do anything to win, the cheats. Who are 'them foreigners' you say? Well, anyone outside of NB, excepting perhaps Starblaydia."

The consensus seems to be, coming from the NB player's families at least, that Kingsford's Authorities are trying to put as many nations off as possible to aid in Wapahkoneta's charge for the Colony Cup title. Starblaydia's Inquisition intervened on Nova Britannicus' behalf, pointing the Kingford Authorities in the correct direction to Henry Tuck's whereabouts.

Young Tuckworth, 17, was quoted as saying that he "didn't think it would affect..."

"Let's see what else is on, Dad!"

Zzap.

I can't post with II or the Abysmals!

The Insane Inflation Llamas:

Starters:
GK: Hans Eichel (FC Reichsmarkia)
DF: Lyndon Johnson (FC Reichsmarkia)
DF: Cedi Quoa (Saravo Storm)
DF: Ringgit Malay (Öbuda FC)
MF: Franc Cefea (FC Bankruptcy)
MF: Pengö Magy (Saravo Storm)
MF: Kwanza Nouveau (Insolvia)
MF: Yuan Qienhao (Öbuda FC)
FW: H. Series (Saravo Storm)
FW: Hans Reichsmark (FC Bankruptcy)
FW: T.I. Yen (Insolvia)

Subs:
GK: Bolivar Venezu (Öbuda FC)
GK: Alan Greenspan (FC Reichsmarkia)
DF: Tala Sama (Saravo Storm)
DF: Vatu Vantu (Saravo Storm)
DF: Ley Bulgari (Insolvia)
MF: Kenneth Clarke (La Cedea)
MF: Forint Magy (FC Bankruptcy)
MF: Theo Waigel (FC Reichsmarkia)
MF: Gordon Brown (La Cedea)
FW: Lilangeni Svazi (Öbuda FC)
FW: Lirasi Türkmen (Saravo Storm)
FW: Oliver Letwin (FC Reichsmarkia)

(Some players are originally from Slani Hyperinflation but since SH naver had a national team, they are eligable to play for Insane Inflation)



"Are they f*cking crazy?" shouted Meep, chief of the Abysmal FA when he saw that the Abysmals were listed as participants in the Colony Cup. "We are an independent nation, no colony!" Of course he knew that any attempt to invade that piece of swamp has failed because tanks sank into it and soldiers got depressed and committed mass-suicides.

"Meep, you should look at the not-that-bad aspect of it: we can see our national team getting trashed 0:31!" interferes his vice Xrs.

"Hey, maybe-not-totally-abysmal idea! That'll be worse than matches in our domestic league which tends to be full of losers in both teams!" Meep seemed to like the idea.

The Abysmali Abysmals use this roster to finish last in their group:

GK: Xiq (Abysmalia Shanty Town)
(GK: Ixq (1st FC WorstPlace))
(GK: Qix (2nd FC WorstPlace))
DF: Soong (Bavaria SoWhat)
DF: Min (SlaniTown Athletic)
DF: Booze (1990 Desperation)
(DF: Crash (Abysmalia Shanty Town))
(DF: Oomph (SlaniTown Athletic))
(DF: Noooh (1989 Desperation))
MF: Mirc (BVB Piece-of-Swamp)
MF: Boing (1990 Desperation)
MF: Zzzz (SlaniTown Athletic)
MF: Uh-oh (1990 Desperation)
(MF: Lirx (2nd FC WorstPlace))
(MF Leech (1st FC WorstPlace))
(MF: Nope (SlaniTown Athletic))
(MF: Hooch (BVB Piece-of-Swamp))
FW: Meep (Bavaria SoWhat)
FW: Day (SlaniTown Athletic)
FW: Erg (1st FC WorstPlace)
(FW: Lol (Bavaria SoWhat))
(FW: Suung (SpVgg Grey))
(FW: Eww (2nd FC WorstPlace))

Pedriana's Colony Cup Roster ::

Starting XI (standard formation: 4-4-2)
1. GK - J.C. Steich (29) - FC Chash
2. D L - Raleigh Humbard (29) - Athtai Wanderers
3. D C - Renato Corvo (24) - Itechton City
4. D C - Chong Imbimbo (30) - Usting Athletic
5. D R - Daron Kusner (32) - Usting Athletic
6. M L - Domenic Males (29) - FC Chash
7. M C - Wilber Reihe (33) - Itechton City
8. M C - Dong Khanponaphan (24) - Itechton City
9. M R - Eusebio Lardydell (28) - FC Chash
10. F C - Paris Canetta (23) - FC Chash
11. F C - Otha Jalkut (30) - Usting Athletic

Substitutes
12. GK - Otha Woelfle (21) - FC Chash
13. D RC - Antonio Pasana (31) - Usting Athletic
14. M RL - Dong Hainsey (30) - Itechton City
15. DM LC - Buster Matskin (25) - Polaughach IFC
16. F RLC - Sol Svedine (23) - Itechton City

Reserves
17. GK - Samuel Varagona (30) - Usting Athletic
18. D L - King Malinky (26) - Itechton City
19. AM C - Lawrence Sokolski (23) - FC Chash
20. F LC - Miguel Cavalaris (24) - Itechton City
21. D/M R - Rashad Nurthen (27) - FC Chash

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Turori prepared to host World Stars

---------------For the first time ever, The Small Island Emirate of Turori will play host to an International Sporting competition. In preperation for the World Cup Finals, in which Turori's Almintora National Stadium will co-host one of 8 World Cup Groups along with Vilita's Turoki National Stadium, The Colony Cup has come to Turori. Turori were boosted to find that the the #1 ranked Puppet in the NSWorld, Oddslavo, would be calling Turori their home throughout the Colony Cup. Joining Oddslavo in the Turori Region would be four Nations with ties to Atlantian Oceania, being Pedriana, located North of Turori, Diamindokere, off the coast of Crystilakere, as well as Marligantis and Northbank. The odd team out in the Turori Region is Lemmistana, who are expected to struggle.

---------------The 5 Group stage matches will be held at the Cednia Beach Center (20,000 Cap.) in Cednia, the Mliona Stadium (15,000 Cap.) in Mliona and the Waridi Town Park (10,000 Cap.) in Waridi. Following the group stage, the 1 v 4 Playoff will also be contested at the Cednia Beach Center. The 2 v 3 Playoff, as well as the Colony Cup Quarter Final between the winners of the two matches, will be played in the Almintora National Stadium(79,000 Cap.), with reconstruction expected to be complete on Matchday 2 of the Colony Cup Groups Stage.

---------------As for the Eels themselves, They will be competing in South Eastern Atlantian Oceania in the Crystili Region. It will be the first time that the Eels have competed in Crystilakere, but they are expected to come out Victorious. Joining Turori in Crystilakere will be Atlantian Oceania nations Nova Brittanicus and Chacor. The only team expected to challenge the Eels for the Top spot, and even a Semi-Final spot out of the group is HypercapitaliZm. However, HypercapitaliZm have sufferred from a sporatic Arepee deficiancy and it is unknown whether this will affect them in the Colony Cup.




--------------------------------------------------------------------
Ao1b(8 ............... OouYvaiVYaqkBWjwIIOB ............. 001092019726X9

Look 4 posts down... :D

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Marligantis Ready for Colony Cup

----------------Marligantis are Ready for the Colony Cup. Marligantis will play will in the Colony Cup. Marligantis have never played before. Marligantis will play will anyway. Marligantis has many players on its team. Marligantis will use these players to beat their opponents. Marligantis will play a 4-4-2 formation. Marligantis will also use players from the bench in every match. Marligantis has been drawn in the Turori Region. Marligantis will be coached by Charles Indavag. Marligantis will predict their performance.

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/sports/cup/colony/tur.gif


Marligantis will lose to Oddslavo. Marligantis will play well but lose 2-0. Marligantis will score no goals.

Marligantis will draw to Northbank. Marligantis will play poorly but draw 1-1. Marligantis will score one goal.

Marligantis will draw to Pedriana. Marligantis will play very well but draw 0-. Marligantis will score no goals.

Marligantis will win to Lemmistana. Marligantis will play superb and win 4-2. Marligantis will score four goals.

Marligantis will win to Diamindokere. Marligantis will play good and win 3-0. Marligantis will score three goals.http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/sports/teams/marligantis/kit.gif

Oddslavo Roster (Please note that Oddslavo has no professional league, however most of its players play in Liverpool England)
1. Herman Houseman - GK - No Club
2. Greg Yeary - DR - No Club
3. Sam Frew - DL - Al-Johari (LEN)
4. Sam Delatte - DC - Schimpol [3] (LEN)
5. Lewis Stebbins - DMC - 巴柯达 Amateur (ODD)
6. Dustin Imai - ML - 胡版纳 (CHA)
7. Shane Mrozek - MR - No Club
8. Maurice Ratcliffe - MC - Orean [4] (LEN)
9. Glen Krok - AMC - IDEXO (KIN/LEN)
10. Corey Jetter - FC - No Club
11. Hector Agudelo - FC - Orean [2] (LEN)

Subs (ALL are unemployed)
12. Gordon Kettle - GK
13. Jorge Hartzog - GK
14. Corey Cornejo - DR
15. Pedro Joslin - DC
16. Derrick Ullery - DC/MC
17. Lester Jackman - MR/ML
18. Tim Mullenax - FC
19. Brent Crossett - FC
20. Corey Soucie - FC

Chacorian Roster (5-4-1)


1. Vernon Bivona - GK - Hubana
2. Dean Speaker - DR - Hubana
3. Derrick McFate - DL - Fresan Valley
4. Rick Grasso - DC - Barkeda Amateur (ODD)
5. Ricardo Gatts - DC - No Club
6. Vernon Threatt - DC - Chacoria City
7. Dustin Hagerman - MR - No Club
8. Rick Labadie - ML - No Club
9. Brent Denzer - MC
10. Lewis Mcnaught - MC
11. Clyde Engelke - FC

Subs
12. Lester Olivera
13. Wesley Wisneski
14. Dean Atnip
15. Herman Hartshorn
16. Maurice Sheen
17. Zachary Palacio
18. Lester Mcavoy
19. Dean Beliveau
20. Derrick Deas

http://ohiocoaster.50megs.com/wapahkonetafootballlogo.GIF

Wapahkoneta M'weowas Size Up Competition

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GK - Ationokonee - P'catewah Metequeghke (Black Forest)
DF - Spencialawbe Ho'kani Hilena'kwi (Bonebow)
DF - Missemediqueety - Tame Hotewe (Corn Town)
DF - Aweekonee - Sakoka Tekhaaka (Flint Tomahawk)
MD - Wawahchepaehai - Thiipii Hotewe (River Town)
MD - Maunahpeykaw - Moni Maanethi (Silverknife)
MD - Sowahquothe - Cawasque Miyeewi (Wheatpath)
MD - Baptikutee - Cakiwiikiwa Hotewe (Cabin Town)
FW - Wesekahnee - Moni Maanethi (Silverknife)
FW - Nawahtahtha - M'tekwa M'kota (Gunpowder)
FW - Eyengeking - Ho'kani Hilena'kwi (Bonebow)

Subs:
GK - Hokantitakarchi - Caswasque Miyeewi (Wheatpath)
DF - Kekanathuko - Nepipemi Hotewe (Salt Town)
MD - Chikatakyen - Shemanese Wiil'tekwi (White Man Scalp)
FW - Tegosbea - Moni Maanethi (Silverknife)

The Wapahkoneta M'weowas (wolves) will take the field for their first international match ever. The presssure is on the neophite team as they face off against some great teams. Coach Lawnoetuchu is confident in the M'weowas, however, because the team is solid and strong. "Pressure will be put on Wesekahnee, the league's leading scorer, along with the keeper Ationokonee." Players from the best clubs have gathered at the call of Lawnoetuchu to play, and he hopes to field the same side for the Aolympics. To gain some reputation for that event, he'll have to best at least 5 other teams in the Chacori region.

Avenging Altos - "We don't know much of them, we don't know much of any of our opponents. We fell like we will have the advantage here and get a slight win."

Oceaice - "They might give us the hardest challeng in the group. We expect a draw, maybe a win out of the match. It'll be tough, though, we'll really have to work."

Vollmeria - "Again, not much is known. We'll go in with our all, and hopefully come out of the match with a W and three points for the m'weowas. We must focus and try our hardest."

Kirstiriera - "Same thing as before. If we try hard, we'll come out swinging.

Slanitopia - "Doomed to begin with. No problems here, they're screwed. I mean, look at the name!"

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/sports/cup/colony/tur.gif

Pedriana manager Olé Retaguma's outlook for his team:

Oddslavo - "It would take a miracle to defeat this team. Oddslavo is the only colony in NS ranked in the top 30 in the world by KPB. It'll be a learning experience for sure."

Northbank - "Who? I remember hearing the name somewhere before, but I can't actually recall anything about them."

Pedriana - "Um, that's us. We're not going to play ourselves. Unless the drug laws are nice and lax in Turori."

Lemmistana - "Don't they belong to those bloody CapitaliZts? Well, we know whose parent nation is better, and it'll be the same for the colonies. This is our match."

Marligantis - "Who? Never heard of 'em."

Diamindokere - "Hey, they're in AO! Right near Crystilakere, right? I doubt they've got any of the skill of their parent nation, though."

Retaguma's prediction: 2-2-1

Our Roster...

Mascots: Holy India Tea Bag and Vamphir Tea Bag

Starters
GK Gary Blaylock
D Bill Llama
D Blade Hohn
D Mark
D Kathleen Castro
M Fidel Carlson
M John the Great
M Elena Darling
M Catherine Conklin
F Jerry Khoemini
F Ayatollah Falwell

Reserves
GK Marie
D Papa Doc Runge
M Slobodan Cuda
F Dallas Hollowell
M Matt
D Brian
D Napoleon Holbrook
M Sam Milosevic
F Martin Douvint

Official Statement From
8-Bit

As it says here, you piddly bags of patheticness claim that the Unholy Alliance of The Evil Umpire is a colony of those freedom loving wimps in Melmond! NEVER! We are a proud alliance of the exiled Vamphir and Umphir people of Holy India and the Asshatian, exiles of that immoral cesspool Melmond. We are proud to have a nation with people who love being ruled with an iron fist and likes to see me execute random people, something they would never allow in the unrighteous land of Melmond, where the name of the Melmondian Goddess is something mentioned in vain, here its mandatory belief, and we call her The Evil Umpire Goddess as we are the ones who truly serve her. Anyway for giving such a slap in the face to our proud sovereign nation, we shall torture you all with this ultimate weapon. It has the ability to get songs stuck inside an entire nations head...lets see what they have in store....

Crystilakere shall suffer through.....SEPERATE WAYS by JOURNEY!!!

Someday love will find you
Break those chains that bind you
One night will remind you
How we touched and went our separate ways

Chacor shall suffer through....ROLLIN' by LIMP BIZKIT!!!

Keep rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin'
What?
Keep rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin'
Come on!
Keep rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin'
Yeah

Turori shall suffer through....SUMMER GIRLS by LFO!!!

New Kids on the Block had a Bunch of Hits
Chinese Food Makes Me Sick
And i think its fly when girls stop by for the summer
I Like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch
I'd take her if i had one wish
But she's been gone since that Summer ... since that Summer

and Vilita shall suffer through the greatest pain of them all....WE BUILT THIS CITY by STARSHIP!!! Mwhahahahaha!

We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll !!!!!

Mwhahahahaha!!!!!

Vollmerian Roster

Coach: Guy Thys

1) GK: G Piot
2) D: G Grun
3) D: E Gerets
4) D: M Dewolf
5) D: P Albert
6) M: W Bassegio
7) M: L Van Der Elst
8) M: G Vidovic
9) F: L Oliveira
10)F: L Nilis
11)F: J Weber

12)GK: F Dewilde
13) D: E Van Meir
14) D: S Katana
15) M: M Karagianis
16) M: L Staelens
17) F: T Radzinski
18) F: P Goots
19) D: R Smidts
20) GK: F Van De Walle
21) F: G Torma
22) M: F Van Der Elst

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The only teams known to us are Avenging Altos and Oceaice, these two matches will be a bit harder then the rest but the Vollmerian Devils should be able to survive the group.

MD1:

Turori [1]-[1] HypercapitaliZm
Finrods [2]-[2] Insane Inflation
Nova Brittanicus [3]-[1] Chacor

The Evil Umpire [3]-[1] Flexys Cefn Druids
Jonestan [2]-[2] Pterodactyl
Vorpal Bunnies [1]-[1] Abysmalistan

Oddslavo [4]-[1] Northbank
Pedriana [0]-[1] Lemmistana
Marligantis [4]-[1] Diamindokere

Avenging Altos [2]-[1] Slanitopia
Oceaice [1]-[0] Wapahkoneta
Vollmeria [1]-[0] Kirstiriera

http://ohiocoaster.50megs.com/wapahkonetafootballlogo.GIF

And All The King's RP Couldn't Put It Back Together Again

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GK - Ationokonee - P'catewah Metequeghke (Black Forest)
DF - Spencialawbe Ho'kani Hilena'kwi (Bonebow)
DF - Missemediqueety - Tame Hotewe (Corn Town)
DF - Aweekonee - Sakoka Tekhaaka (Flint Tomahawk)
MD - Wawahchepaehai - Thiipii Hotewe (River Town)
MD - Maunahpeykaw - Moni Maanethi (Silverknife)
MD - Sowahquothe - Cawasque Miyeewi (Wheatpath) 29th Out 32nd
MD - Baptikutee - Cakiwiikiwa Hotewe (Cabin Town)
FW - Wesekahnee - Moni Maanethi (Silverknife)
FW - Nawahtahtha - M'tekwa M'kota (Gunpowder)
FW - Eyengeking - Ho'kani Hilena'kwi (Bonebow)

Subs:
GK - Hokantitakarchi - Caswasque Miyeewi (Wheatpath)
DF - Kekanathuko - Nepipemi Hotewe (Salt Town)
MD - Chikatakyen - Shemanese Wiil'tekwi (White Man Scalp) In 32nd
FW - Tegosbea - Moni Maanethi (Silverknife)

Wapahkoneta played a hard first match, but not even the lucrative amounts of RP could rescue them from the grasps of a top-60 team like Oceaice. The match was an exciting one, and Wapahkoneta fans, who had traveled far to see the match, were not disappointed.

"I came to see Nithichi Kitika. I saw Nithichi Kitika. And a good one at that." Commented a Wapahkonee bystander.

The match was tight, and Oceaice dominated most of the first half, launching a goal in in the 22nd minute. Sowahquothe of the club team Cawasque Miyeewi (Wheatpath), was issued a yellow card, and Coach Lawnoetuchu replaced him with Chikatakyen of the club team Shemanese Wiil'tekwi (White Man Scalp). "I don't want to take any chances. Yellow cards in my book are just as bad as red. We need to maintain a prestigious image, even if no one else does. Sowahquothe will miss the next two games. An act deserving a discipline will not be tolerated by the people of Wapahkoneta, and Sowahquothe has disgraced his nation."

Wapahkoneta, battling the mental pressure of a goal and a yellow card, fought out the rest of the first half with tired and weary dignity, preserving the score at its 1-0 form. The players rested up at the halftime, and received a pep talk from Coach Lawnoetuchu.

During halftime, an indian dance troop of Wapahkoneta, Pele'thi Paipoun'oui (Winter Eagle) performed a traditional Shawnee Meniedeluh Nacamoloh, or war dance, which lasted for the last 10 minutes and left the audience standing on their feet in applause at the end. Coach Lawnoetuchu is considering having the players do something of this nature pre-game, to psyche themselves up and frighten the enemy, similar in nature to the Haka of the New Zealand All-Blacks.

The second half was well composed, however Wapahkoneta were not able to find the Skemotah (Goal). There were some good battles and some amazing pass work, and the ball stayed at the half line or in Oceaice territory almost the entire time.

At the final whistle, Wapahkoneta had lost, but they had gained their first game of international play, which would help prepare them for the Aolympics and World Cup 17, both of which would be starting soon. "It was a loss, yes. But it was a loss that needed to happen. Now we know we aren't invincible. Some of these men play on clubs where they're the star, now they have to learn to share the spotlight, and I think that's what this match taught them." Commented Coach Lawnoetuchu. "I'm not disappointed, I know we can do better. We'll come out swinging, I promise you that."

@ Oceaice - L 1-0

1-1?!?!

"How did that happen?" shouted Meep (chief of the AbysmalFA) when hearing the score.

"Well..." coach Oops looked rather distressed "Our opponents were Vopal Bunnies and this name already sounds like a total inability to win. Despite that they were leading 1:0 for 90 minutes!"

"And which poor soul did score then for us?" Meep asked, slowly becoming angry.

"The vilitan wind did. You see, Erg was attempting to make the 0:2 against us and suddently strong wind started, you know, this stadium in Morata Valley is infamous for that and the wind took the ball over the entire field and threw it in the net of the Bunnies." Oops surely wanted to be elsewhere, anywhere.

"Make sure that this won't happen again! I expect you to be trailing 5:0 next time!"

The Novan Daily News
Boys in Blue Begin Colony Cup with a Victory.

From Rupert Smythe, our man in Crystilakere
Aside from the superb three-goals-to-one victory, this is a great day for the young men of Nova Britannicus. It seems the minor cup competitions are becoming somewhat of an Atlantian Oceania monopoly as not only this Four-Group Tournament, but also the last Baptism of Fire and future World Cup 17 will all have matches in the Region.

The game, however, was a real corker between Nova Britannicus and fellow Atlantian Oceanians Chacor. With the Chacorians playing a defensive formation, the Novan's Wing Wizardry, supplied with gusto by Caliban and England was just too much for their opposing wide players.

Bursting down the touchline and sometimes even pulling back to beat the defenders for a second time, Caliban and England provided two lovely crosses for Charles "Charlie" Bowman to head the ball home.

"I'm going to have words with England," said two-goal hero Bowman, "when he put his cross in i had to head the ball on the muddy patch. It's really messed up my Dapper Dan hair product. Dean's was a better cross, as it kept my hair in place."

Novan Britannicus condeded a goal after half-time, as there weren't enough players back to defend, allowing the number eleven Clyde Engelke to score. The Wing Wizards came back, however, as Dean Caliban decided to cut inside rather than cross, which completely wrong-footed the leaping Chacorians. Dean used his silky skills and prodded the ball home. Goal!

With two draws in the other Crystilakere Matches, we see NB on top of the table with three points. What a start!


Nova Britannicus (4-2-4): Tuckworth, J. Bowman, Fletcher, Willis, Saddler, Manley, Hogue, England, C. Bowman, McDonald, Caliban
Subs: Ellis, Bates, Davies, Richmond, French, Lyon, Marsden

Chacor (5-4-1): Bivona, Speaker, McFate, Grasso, Gatts, Threatt, Hagerman, Labadie, Denzer, Mcnaught, Engelke
Subs: Olivera, Wisneski, Atnip, Hartshorn, Sheen, Palacio, Mcavoy, Beliveau, Deas.

Referee: Alan Belmore The 465th (TBF)

While myriad lunacy spread around the Colony Cup 1.1 (the original article in Kaze Progressa being full of undocumented features), the Altos were far from immune to the wave of chaos.

Twenty minutes before the game, first-choice midfielder Claire Quinley was barred after testing positive for helium. Suspicions were raised after it was found Claire's vocal range - F3-Ab5 - vaguely resembled that of a soprano. The scandal failed to prevent the side winning 2-1 against Commerce Heights outpost Slanitopia, but Claire insists she was unfairly dismissed and that she was spiked by a Slanitopian. Rumours suggest her gentle, soothing voice was to be used to send the Slanitopians to speak, while others suggest Commerce Heights helium manufacturers saw the Altos as a business opportunity.

Bunnies earn a 1-1 tie.


The team from Vorpal Bunnies entered upon the field, and well, to everyone's amazement, they were actual bunnies, that could talk, walk, and somehow, play soccer.

the game started off fairly inconspicuous, as the opposing team didn't take the rabbits for real until Joe snuck in on an opposing pass and ran on top of the ball, right into the net.

The half had the bunnies with a 1-0 lead. However, the game was tied on the 73rd minute with a shot high on the net, as the Bunny keeper couldn't jump high enough to block the shot.

hopefully a new form of defense can be sorted out to stop the high shots for the Bunnies before the next game.

**DRINK CARROT JUICE....OR ELSE**

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Marligantis Wins Super Big

----------------Marligantis have defeated Diamindokere. Marligantis have scored four goals. Marligantis have conceded one. Marligantis don't feel like writing more.

Don't know where LE is with Matchday 2, If He doesnt post it sometime today I'll take over the group, anyway, here are the other 3 groups.

Turori [3]-[0] Finrods
Insane Inflation [1]-[2] Nova Brittanicus
Chacor [1]-[4] HypercapitaliZm

The Evil Umpire [2]-[1] Jonestan
Pterodactyl [2]-[3] Vorpal Bunnies
Abysmalistan [2]-[3] Flexys Cefn Druids

Oddslavo [3]-[0] Pedriana
Lemmistana [1]-[1] Marligantis
Diamindokere [2]-[4] Northbank

And Tables....


Crystili Region
[1] Nova Brittanicus 2 2 0 0 5-2 6
[2] Turori 2 1 1 0 4-1 4
[3] HypercapitaliZm 2 1 1 0 5-2 4
[4] Insane Inflation 2 0 1 1 3-4 1
5- Finrods 2 0 1 1 2-5 1
6- Chacor 2 0 0 2 2-7 0
-
Vilita Region
[1] The Evil Umpire 2 2 0 0 5-2 6
[2] Vorpal Bunnies 2 1 1 0 4-3 4
[3] Flexys Cefn Druids 2 1 0 1 4-5 3
[4] Jonestan 2 0 1 1 3-4 1
5- Pterodactyl 2 0 1 1 4-5 1
6- Abysmalistan 2 0 1 1 3-4 1
-
Turori Region
[1] Oddslavo 2 2 0 0 7-1 6
[2] Marligantis 2 1 1 0 5-2 4
[3] Lemmistana 2 1 1 0 2-1 4
[4] Northbank 2 1 0 1 5-6 3
5- Pedriana 2 0 0 2 0-4 0
6- Diamindokere 2 0 0 2 3-8 0
-
Chacor Region
[1] Avenging Altos 1 1 0 0 2-1 3
[2] Oceaice 1 1 0 0 1-0 3
[3] Vollmeria 1 1 0 0 1-0 3
[4] Slanitopia 1 0 0 1 1-2 0
5- Wapahkoneta 1 0 0 1 0-1 0
6- Kirstiriera 1 0 0 1 0-1 0

The Novan Daily News
Two for Two as NB Defeat Insane Inflation

From Rupert Smythe, our man in Crystilakere
The rise to power continues as Nova Britannicus played and defeated Insane Inflation in The Crystil Nation.

Nova Britannicus took the lead in the 35th minutes as John McDonald powered home a cross with his head. Just before the First Half ended, however, T.I. Yen equalised for the Inflations, who's egos were boosted nearly as much as their currency.

Nova Britannicus took the lead once more in the second half and it proved to be the winner, Substitute Jonathan Lyon scoring from yet another Caliban cross. They now lead the group with 6 points from the two matches played, and look like they might have a good chance of qualification to the next stage, to decide the Quarter-Final places.

Nova Britannicus (4-2-4): Tuckworth, J. Bowman, Fletcher, Willis, Saddler, Manley, Hogue, England, C. Bowman, McDonald, Caliban
Subs: Ellis, Bates, Davies, Richmond, French, Lyon, Marsden

Insane Inflation (3-4-3): Eichel, Johnson, Quoa, Malay, Cefea, Magy, Nouveau, Qienhao, Series, Reichsmark, Yen
Subs:Venezu, Greenspan, Sama, Vantu, Bulgari, Clarke, Magy, Waigel, Brown, Svazi, Türkmen, Letwin (FC Reichsmarkia)

Referee: Alan Belmore The 467th (TBF)

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Marligantis Fails To Win

----------------Marligantis have drawn to Lemmistana. Marligantis does not like Lemmistana. Marligantis thinks Lemmistana should lose. Marligantis is unhappy at not beating Lemmistana. Marligantis thinks Lemmistana is smelly.

---------------Marligantis scores one goal. Marligantis concedes one goal. Marligantis does not win. Marligantis has failed. Marligantis wants to play again. Marligantis will win their next match. Marligantis will beat their next opponents. Marligantis will destroy their next opponents. Marligantis suggests their next opponents do not show up. Marligantis will annihilate them if they do. Marligantis will win. Marligantis is happy.

"How did the match end?"
- "2-3"
"We scored two goals?"
- "5"
"How did that happen?"
- "I think it is the weather... My team never played in a non-swamp during neither-rain-nor-fog..."
"Make sure that the goalscorers never play in a match of the Abysmals again!"
- "Even though we are now last in the table?"
"We are?"
- "Then no, they helped us archieving our aim."

finally a loss!

The Reichsmarkia Times
Only for 320 trillion TIY

Nationals lost 1-2
Nova Brittanicus defeated Insane Inflation 2-1
0:1 John McDonald (NB)
1:1 T.I. Yen (II)
1:2 Jonathan Lyon (NB)

We join the game in progress, tied at 2 at the 81st minute.

Ptero has just tied the game up, a swooping cross that the Bunny goalie couldn't handle....and the ball has been put into play, there goes Jim, passing to john, passing to ....dang these bunnies, I really wish they would wear numbers or somethng large enough to be seen Is that Jeremiah?

There is no Jeremiah. Pterodactyl has stolen teh ball, he's running towards the net, and


OH MY GOD.. LOOK AT THOS FANGS.....blood everywhere. I mean, it's just a little bunny rabbit.

Come on man...did you not expect that? I mean look at the bones near the bench, the Bunnies are out for blood.

well, that leg will need to be stitched up, and there's the requisite red card, and what's this? Jack..maybe has intercepted the inbound pass and he's on a roll, and there's the shot..tipped off the goalie, off the POST, and it backspun in when it hit the ground. Amazing! VB leads 3-2.

and that's the whistle. Bunnies have taken this one and puits them firmly in second place in their group.

sorry about MD2, Chacor region! I was sick but I'm better now. Simming underway.

MATCHDAY 2
Avenging Altos 0 Vollmeria 0
Oceaice 1 Slanitopia 0
Kirstiriera 2 Wapahkoneta 4

After the controversy surrounding the opening game with Claire Quinley's positive test for helium, boredom prevailed for the second match as the Altos were held to a 0-0 snore-draw by Vollmeria.

Quinley, who was banned for two matches and faces a second helium test tonight, sat from the stands in frustration, her attacking gifts lost to the team as Gerets and Dewolf stopped nearly all attacks before they threatened to turn into goal chances. At the other end, the 4-3-3 formation of Vollmeria proved to be relatively ineffective in attack as frequently only Nilis was present in the penalty area; Nilis did force the best save of the match in the 86th minute from a low, curling 25-yard free kick punched away by Irene Selvar.

The Altos, however, are still in a decent position to take the top-two spot they need to enter World Cup qualification.

Matchday 3

Turori [5]-[0] Insane Inflation
Nova Brittanicus [2]-[5] HypercapitaliZm
Chacor [0]-[5] Finrods

The Evil Umpire [3]-[0] Pterodactyl
Vorpal Bunnies [0]-[1] Flexys Cefn Druids
Abysmalistan [1]-[0] Jonestan

Oddslavo [2]-[1] Lemmistana
Marligantis [2]-[3] Northbank
Diamindokere [1]-[2] Pedriana

Avenging Altos [3]-[0] Wapahkoneta
Oceaice [1]-[0] Kirstiriera
Vollmeria [1]-[0] Slanitopia



Crystili Region
[1] Turori 3 2 1 0 9-1 7
[2] HypercapitaliZm 3 2 1 0 10-4 7
[3] Nova Brittanicus 3 2 0 1 7-7 6
[4] Finrods 3 1 1 1 7-5 4
5- Insane Inflation 3 0 1 2 3-9 1
6- Chacor 3 0 0 3 2-12 0
-
Vilita Region
[1] The Evil Umpire 3 3 0 0 8-2 9
[2] Flexys Cefn Druids 3 2 0 1 5-5 6
[3] Vorpal Bunnies 3 1 1 1 4-4 4
[4] Abysmalistan 3 1 1 1 4-4 4
5- Jonestan 3 0 1 2 3-5 1
6- Pterodactyl 3 0 1 2 4-8 1
-
Turori Region
[1] Oddslavo 3 3 0 0 9-2 9
[2] Northbank 3 2 0 1 8-8 6
[3] Marligantis 3 1 1 1 7-5 4
[4] Lemmistana 3 1 1 1 3-3 4
5- Pedriana 3 1 0 2 2-5 3
6- Diamindokere 3 0 0 3 4-10 0
-
Chacor Region
[1] Oceaice 3 3 0 0 3-0 9
[2] Avenging Altos 3 2 1 0 5-1 7
[3] Vollmeria 3 2 1 0 2-0 7
[4] Wapahkoneta 3 1 0 2 4-6 3
5- Slanitopia 3 0 0 3 1-4 0
6- Kirstiriera 3 0 0 3 2-6 0

The Novan Daily News
Economic Team gets Revenge for I.I. defeat in 5-2 win

From Rupert Smythe, our man in Crystilakere
To see the usefulness of Nova Britannicus' game, you just have to look at the scorers. Defending-Midfielder Wilbert Willis with a lovely 30-yarder, and Central Defender Billie Sadler with a header from a corner.

The HypercapitaliZm team were so good at keeping Nova Britannicus' Wingers in the cage that the Centre-Forwards had no service, so couldn't score. With this deadened attack, Nova Britannicus were forced on the defensive, that they didn't do too well. Five goals were smashed past them, whith only two rays of hope between them.

Now Nova Britannicus sit third in the table, a single point behind Turori and yesterday's vanquishers, HypercapitaliZm.

Nova Britannicus (4-2-4): Tuckworth, J. Bowman, Fletcher, Willis, Saddler, Manley, Hogue, England, C. Bowman, McDonald, Caliban
Subs: Ellis, Bates, Davies, Richmond, French, Lyon, Marsden

HypercapitaliZm (?-?-?): No Information
Subs: No Information

Referee: Alan Belmore The 31st (TBF)

:0

Reichsmarkia was in the state of grieving after the Insane National Team lost, no rather: was trashed by 0:5. There were rumours that the Turori players used bribes to ensure that high win. Other people say that there is no need for that, the Insane National Team simply sucks. Maybe both sides are close to the truth: Insane Inflation is not the hotbed of soccer, but maybe the Turoris 'encouraged' them to play even worse. No rumour is that the ture-cent coins, which Turori fans threw on the pitch were grabbed by the players due to their high value.

Turori 5 (Mauritus Banda 3rd 25th, Martiia Rawaii 16th, Izzitra Bomai 30th)
Insane Inflation 0 (Cedi Quoa 34th og)



"What do you mean by 1-0? Did we lose?"

"No..."

"We did not draw and we did not lose?"

"Yes..."

"Are we last in the tables?"

"No..."

"Oops, you are fired!"

"<censored>"

As the Colony Cup chaos continues, Avenging Altos are still in a position where they have a good chance of making the quarter-finals and hence the World Cup qualifiers.

A 3-0 defeat of Wapahkoneta puts them clear of Wollmeria on goal difference, after the two sides drew 0-0 in the previous round. Claire Quinley, back from a two-game ban for a positive helium test, scored the opener on 21 minutes with a low drive into the bottom corner, while Alice Carver added two in six second-half minutes around the hour mark, the second from the penalty spot after a Wapahkonetan player was sent off for fondling Quinley. Assuming victory over Kirstiriera, any result against Oceaice - who still maintain a 100% record - will probably be enough.

The Vorpal bunnies lost a tight game 1-0 today. This loss dropped them down a spot in the standings, but one more win in the last two games SHOULD secure them a spot in the round of 16.

In other news the newspaper strike continues in The Eagle's Nest, and as such the quick sheet method of news will be continued.

Ice made in Sehana

Spork found in ancient ruins.

Man tells story of 30 years with hiccups.

I like pie.

Pedriana Get First Colony Cup Win

TURORI -- The team from Diamindokere was the one unfortunate enough to become the first to lose to the sub-Abysmal (literally) Pedriana Llamas. Otha Jalkut opened the scoring with a curving shot from six yards late in the first half. The Llamas looked like they would go into halftime with the lead, but keeper J.C. Steich got a shot on the stroke of halftime that he couldn't handle, making the score one-all. Diamindokere threatened to go ahead several times in the second half, but after a while their attacks began to lose their punch, and the defense soon followed. Itechton City forward Miguel Cavalaris, who was not even expected to make an appearance in the Colony Cup, was substituted in for Paris Canetta, and he almost immediately proceeded to score the winning goal on a free kick in the 84th.

The win doesn't do a whole lot for the Llamas, though, as they remain in fifth place in the Turori region, and only the top four in each group will move on.

Final score:
PEDRIANA 2 (Jalkut 37, Cavalaris 84)
Diamindokere 1 (45)

Matchday 4

Turori [2]-[2] Nova Brittanicus
Finrods [2]-[2] HypercapitaliZm
Insane Inflation [2]-[1] Chacor

The Evil Umpire [3]-[1] Vorpal Bunnies
Jonestan [0]-[0] Flexys Cefn Druids
Pterodactyl [2]-[1] Abysmalistan

Oddslavo [3]-[0] Marligantis
Pedriana [3]-[1] Northbank
Lemmistana [2]-[2] Diamindokere

Avenging Altos [0]-[1] Oceaice
Vollmeria [1]-[3] Wapahkoneta
Kirstiriera [2]-[0] Slanitopia



Crystili Region
[P] Turori 4 2 2 0 11-3 8
[P] HypercapitaliZm 4 2 2 0 12-6 8
[3] Nova Brittanicus 4 2 1 1 9-9 7
[4] Finrods 4 1 2 1 9-7 5
5- Insane Inflation 4 1 1 2 5-10 4
E- Chacor 4 0 0 4 3-14 0
-
Vilita Region
[P] The Evil Umpire 4 4 0 0 11-3 12
[2] Flexys Cefn Druids 4 2 1 1 5-5 7
[3] Abysmalistan 4 1 1 2 5-6 4
[4] Vorpal Bunnies 4 1 1 2 5-7 4
5- Pterodactyl 4 1 1 2 6-9 4
6- Jonestan 4 0 2 2 3-5 2
-
Turori Region
[P] Oddslavo 4 4 0 0 12-2 12
[2] Pedriana 4 2 0 2 5-6 6
[3] Northbank 4 2 0 2 9-11 6
[4] Lemmistana 4 1 2 1 5-5 5
5- Marligantis 4 1 1 2 7-8 4
E- Diamindokere 4 0 1 3 6-12 1


Chacor Region
[P] Oceaice 4 4 0 0 4-0 12
[P] Avenging Altos 4 2 1 1 5-2 7
[P] Vollmeria 4 2 1 1 3-3 7
[4] Wapahkoneta 4 2 0 2 7-7 6
5- Kirstiriera 4 1 0 3 4-6 3
E- Slanitopia 4 0 0 4 1-6 0

MD4, Chacor Region

Avenging Altos 0 Oceaice 1
Vollmeria 1 Wapahkoneta 3
Kirstiriera 2 Slanitopia 0
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
Q. Oceaice 12 4 0 0 4: 0 4
Q. Avenging Altos 7 2 1 1 5: 2 3
Q. Vollmeria 7 2 1 1 3: 3 0
4. Wapahkoneta 6 2 0 2 7: 7 0
5. Kirstiriera 3 1 0 3 4: 6 -2
E. Slanitopia 0 0 0 4 1: 6 -5

The Novan Daily News
Turori Equal to NB, no maths involved

From Rupert Smythe, our man in Crystilakere
Dean Caliban was once again Man-of-The-Match, providing one goal for Charlie Bowman, before scoring one of his own to level the match at 2-2. In between times Vilitan Tropical Trophy winner Akamoari Liano equalised to make the match 1-1, before Cuolia Tuirma of Marine Coast took the lead to make 2-1.

This was a very good match, with both sides playing well, though Nova Britannicus had to play out of their skin to compete with the Turorians.

Reports that Starblaydi soon-to-be-ex Coach Jean-Paul Georges-Ringeuax will take the helm from interim-coach David Bentley are flooding in from every source, suggesting that Nova Britannicus will soon play to a different Beat.Les, uh i mean Let's hope that this good performances continue through to Nova Britannicus' hopeful debut in World Cup 18.

Nova Britannicus (4-2-4): Tuckworth, J. Bowman, Fletcher, Willis, Saddler, Manley, Hogue, England, C. Bowman, McDonald, Caliban
Subs: Ellis, Bates, Davies, Richmond, French, Lyon, Marsden

Turori (4-4-2): Slietah, Niabula, Hunial, Ecspo, Likao, Poloni, Mumamba, Tbaiao, Tuirma, Vumaou, Liano
Subs: White, Tareak, Doohan, Ambama, Houabou, Iobabao , Sakatorra

Referee: Alan Belmore The 822nd (TBF)

Finally things are going right: Abysmals are losing and II wins ;)

"Sirx, why are you here?"

"I am the new Abysmali coach, Meep!"

"Who employed you?"

"You did"

"I hate doing things I don't remember when being drunk! Tell me that we lost!"

"Well, I have bad news and other ones"

"Tell me the other ones first!"

"We are deep in qualification territory."

"What is that quali... thingy?"

"It means that we are allowed to play in the world cup qualifiers..."

"Again? We failed to reach the bottom of the table last time already."

"We did, but we have still a chance to do it now!"

"How?"

"We need to get trashed, to lose 0:31-ish and Jonestan needs to win."

"But this team even fails to score own-goals!"

"I have an idea: did you ever SEE Jonestan players?"

"No, I have heard that they play, but their religion forces them to keep the faces and most of the body covered..."

"We can pretend to be Jonstan and no one'd notice..."

"And who'd play for us?"

"hmmm, someone!"

"k, I organise Jonestan's absense, you get someone to play for us!"



The Reichsmarkia Times
only for 400 trillion TIY

Llamas fall despite winning
The Insanians defeated a underarchieving Charcor side by 2:1 despite undersrchieving themselves (well, no one would expect something else from them). T.I. Yen, the enigmatic striker from the nameless capital of Slani Hyperinflation, scored three times in this match. Twice for the Llamas: after a corner kick from Yuan Quienhao in the 16th minute and in the 56th minute in a counter-attack. Unfortunately, he also caused the most stupid own goal not only in the history of the colony cup, the world cup or Insane Inflation, but in the history of football: Apparently, Hans Reichsmark fouled a charcorian player and Charcor was awarded a penalty kick. T.I. Yen has so angry that his teammate was sent off that he kicked against the ball. He was too angry to aim or anything, but his shot went in direction to the Llama goal and Hans Eichel could not reach it. With this idiotic reaction, the insane lead was halfed. T.I. was red-carded after that for flipping a birdie in direction of the referee.

The Daily (Flexsys) Druid

GOLDS LOOK GOOD TO GO THROUGH
Trefor Owens on Flexsys Cefn Druids at the Colony Cup

The Colony cup has appeared to be good to Flexsys Cefn Druids so far, as they look to be heading for the second round of the competition. The team, made up of players mainly from the league of neighbours NEWI Cefn Druids, has somehow managed to get seven points from four games. Indeed, a large percentage of the players play for the two FCD clubs in the Druidish leagues, who, on the whole, suck. Big time.

The squad is effectively the one that played in the Baptism of Fire tournament, except for the addition of Trefor Evans, a youngster found in the Starblaydi Gamma division. But he is only second choice, behind Trefor Merthyr of Llllllllllcwllllllll Rovers. Though most of the players lack great individual qualities, the secret of the Golds' success so far is their teamwork. In their opening game here, against The Evil Umpire, they simply didn't look like a team. Things were better when they came up against Abysmalistan, though. The Golds won, but only because the Abysmals were that useless.

After that, there has been a narrow victory against Vorpal Bunnies, though how the Druidish defence was never breached is a complete mystery. Then, finally, a really dull match against Jonestan.

Manager Trefor Caersws hasn't been happy with his team's performance so far, and knows that they can do better. "I know that our team aren't the best, but if they play like a team, who knows what we could be capable of? The problem is, we haven't yet, and that could be our downfall."

The Golds need a one goal defeat or better to get through, so they look to be in a good position. However, if they perform like they have done so far, they would be very lucky to get through.

Flexsys Cefn Druids roster for the Colony Cup

As chosen by manager Trefor Caersws (45)
* = usual starters

Goalkeepers

1. Trefor Eifans (25, Druid Tribune)*
13. Trefor Griffiths (28, Bekk View Stars)
23. Trefor Edwards (17, Druid Tribune)


Defenders

Left
2. Trefor Williams (24, Druid Tribune)*
12. Trefor Spencer (21, Druid Tribune)

Right
3. Trefor Richards (26, Trevor City [NCD])*
14. Trefor Huw (23, Druid Tribune)

Centre
5. Trefor Rhys (21, Cefn Athletic[NCD])*
6. Trefor Myffanwy (25, Garth Wanderers [NCD])*
15. Trefor Cefn (24, Druid Tribune)
16. Trefor Matthews (34, Druid Tribune)


Midfielders

Left
11. Trefor Merthyr (23, Llllllllllcwllllllll Rovers [NCD])*
24. Trefor Evans (24, Widdrington Wolves [STB])
17. Trefor Johnson (26, Druid Tribune)

Right
7. Trefor James (21, West Cefn Rangers [NCD])*
18. Trefor Rhys-Jones (16, Bekk View Stars)

Centre
4. Trefor Cymru (32, Llanfrangydd [NCD])*
8. Trefor Tobias (20, Druid Tribune)*
19. Trefor Daffydd (22, Tobias Thursdays [NCD])
20. Trefor Rhyl (19, Bekk View Stars)


Forwards

9. Trefor Andrews (27, Inter Dave [NCD])*
10. Garth Vincent (19, Parkville [NCD])*
21. Trefor Vincent (23, Druid Tribune)
22. Trefor Rodgers (34, Druid Tribune)

Matchday 5

Turori [7]-[0] Chacor
HypercapitaliZm [0]-[3] Insane Inflation
Finrods [0]-[1] Nova Brittanicus

The Evil Umpire [3]-[0] Abysmalistan
Flexys Cefn Druids [1]-[0] Pterodactyl
Jonestan [0]-[1] Vorpal Bunnies

Oddslavo [3]-[1] Diamindokere
Northbank [4]-[2] Lemmistana
Pedriana [1]-[1] Marligantis

Avenging Altos [4]-[0] Kirstiriera
Oceaice [2]-[0] Vollmeria
Wapahkoneta [1]-[1] Slanitopia





Crystili Region
[1] Turori 5 3 2 0 18-3 11
[2] Nova Brittanicus 5 3 1 1 10-9 10
[3] HypercapitaliZm 5 2 2 1 12-9 8
[4] Insane Inflation 5 2 1 2 8-10 7
5- Finrods 5 1 2 2 9-8 5
6- Chacor 5 0 0 5 3-21 0
-
Vilita Region
[1] The Evil Umpire 5 5 0 0 14-3 15
[2] Flexys Cefn Druids 5 3 1 1 6-5 10
[3] Vorpal Bunnies 5 2 1 2 6-7 7
[4] Pterodactyl 5 1 1 3 6-10 4
5- Abysmalistan 5 1 1 3 5-9 4
6- Jonestan 5 0 2 3 3-6 2
-
Turori Region
[1] Oddslavo 5 5 0 0 15-3 15
[2] Northbank 5 3 0 2 13-13 9
[3] Pedriana 5 2 1 2 6-7 7
[4] Marligantis 5 1 2 2 8-9 5
5- Lemmistana 5 1 2 2 7-9 5
6- Diamindokere 5 0 1 4 7-15 1
-
Chacor Region
[1] Oceaice 5 5 0 0 6-0 15
[2] Avenging Altos 5 3 1 1 9-2 10
[3] Wapahkoneta 5 2 1 2 8-8 7
[4] Vollmeria 5 2 1 2 3-5 7
5- Kirstiriera 5 1 0 4 4-10 3
6- Slanitopia 5 0 1 4 2-7 1

The Novan Daily News
Charlie Bowman send NB to Second in Group

From Rupert Smythe, our man in Crystilakere
Charles Bowman scored his fourth goal of the tournament, and NB's second, to send them winging their way into the Quarter-Finals of the Colony Cup.

They outclassed a poor-looking Finrods side by more than the 1-0 scoreline suggested. This win propelled Nova Britannicus above HypercapitaliZm in the group to be second only to high-rankers Turori.

Rumours that former Starblaydi Manager Jean-Paul Georges-Ringeaux would be taking the helm at Nova Britannicus were not-very-well denied by current incumbent, David Bentley, who served in World Cup 15 and 16 Qualifiers under Georges-Ringeuax.

"The gaffer's coming here, you mean what the NBFA Cheif texted me was true? Cool! Uh... I mean, I'm sure he'd be a great benefit to any side he controlled."


Nova Britannicus (4-2-4): Tuckworth, J. Bowman, Fletcher, Willis, Saddler, Manley, Hogue, England, C. Bowman, McDonald, Caliban
Subs: Ellis, Bates, Davies, Richmond, French, Lyon, Marsden

Finrods (?-?-?): No Information
Subs: No Information

Referee: Alan Belmore The 2nd (TBF)

"Sirx, you asked WHO to play for us?"

"Jonestanis"

"But... they kept on losing..."

"Well, at first I tried to find some fans or so... but no, no one was talented enough"

"Talented?"

"Talented at scoring own goals... how high did Jonestan not-lose-and-also-not-draw?"

"Our national team lost! 0-1!"

"<censored to protect the adults (children know the words anyways)> Does that mean that we are through?"

"How high did Jonestan lose?"

"You said 0-1"

"No, the Jonestan national team, which played instead of us"

"They lost 0-3!"

"Pooh! (he checks a group table) That means we are on the fifth position!"

"I feared we might qualify!"

"I did too"

finally things become right


The End Of Capitalism?
Well of HypercapitaliZm surely

The Llamas defeated the HypercapitaliZts (also known as "greedy bastards", "n00bs" or "Evil Exploiters") with the high score of 3-0. The hypercapitaliZtic team was entirely from Insane Inflation and Abysmalistan but gained citizenship of HypercapitaliZm. the reason for this crazy setup is that the players are cheaper labour than national players.
Having one half-Abysmali in your team is already a bad idea (as the bad performance of the NEWI Cefn Druids showed), but having 10 players from there in your team is simply horrible, abysmal (and not just Abysmal), disasterous and a sure sign to lose. Even though they countered the curse with some Abysmal managers, who tried to make the team lose, it broke through: the HypercapitaliZts were simply outsmarted and outplayed by a Llama team, which was extremely encouraged and motivated. Maybe the fact that 4 players don't have to worry about daily wages anymore was one of the deciding factors. Whatever caused it: T.I. Yen made the first hat trick in his career and the Llamas finished fourth in the group. By this victory, the Llamas qualified for the next round where they are most likely to be eliminated by Turori unless a middle-soze or big miracle happens.

The score:
Insane Inflation 3 (T.I. Yen 24th, 38th, 43rd)
HypercapitaliZm 0

OOC @ the II RP: *LMAO*

IC: A destructive 4-0 defeat of Kirstiriera ensured second place for the Altos in their group and set them up neatly for a place in the World Cup qualifiers. They need only gain one more victory to take one of the eight colony spots in the qualification tournament, and should have an easy opponent next.

Kirsty Jones and Claire Quinley each scored a goal in either half in a stunning display rounded off with Quinley's 35-yard curling free-kick in injury time. The Altos are still not out of contention to win the Colony Cup altogether, but tough opposition still awaits.

CHACOR REGION

PLAYOFFS
First Leg Results

<@LE> Leg 1:
<@LE> Oceaice 2:1 Vollmeria
<@LE> Avenging Altos 5:2 Wapahkoneta

Other Regions: First Leg Results

Turori 3 Insane Inflation 0
Nova Brittanicus 2 HypercapitaliZm 2


The Evil Umpire 2 Pterodactyl 2
Flexys Cefn Druids 2 Vorpal Bunnies 2


Oddslavo 1 Marligantis 1
Northbank 2 Pedriana 3

The Novan Daily News
Two-all better than Two-Five

From Rupert Smythe, our man in Crystilakere
The Group-Stage match between HypercapitaliZm and Noba Britannicus ended 5-2 in favour of the capitaliZts. This time, however, the match was rather simliar, though NB kept their opponents scores down to just two.

A slightly different way of playing their 4-2-4 helped the Britannican defence contain the CapitaliZts for the most part, while still allowing the Centre-Forwards and Striker/Wingers to get up the pitch.

Kenny England and John McDonald provided the Britannican Goals to make the second leg a not-so-simple task for the Britannicans. They require any type of win in their next match. Whether it is in normal time, extra time or after a penalty shoot-out, Nova Britannicus must beat HaypercapitaliZm to go through.

It's all down to the next match, so 'Up the Britannicans'!

Nova Britannicus (4-2-4): Tuckworth, J. Bowman, Fletcher, Willis, Saddler, Manley, Hogue, England, C. Bowman, McDonald, Caliban
Subs: Ellis, Bates, Davies, Richmond, French, Lyon, Marsden

HypercapitaliZm (?-?-?): No Information
Subs: No Information

Referee: Alan Belmore The 69th (TBF)

OK, so this is half-credit. But I cant be bothered to change.

"We..... drew with a team with 220 rank, Prime Minister, sir."
"We drew!? What it this? You'd better get them to work their asses off to make sure we qualify! I don't want anything less! Understand?"

ODDSLAVO 1-1 MARLIGANTIS
HONOURS EVEN AS TEAM SLACK

<insert some nonsensical nonsense here, as Oddslavoran papers always do>

Editors Note: The paper will now be supporting Marligantis in the Second Leg! Go Marligantis!

A Missive From 8-Bit

It appears that we have been taking our opponents too lightly ever since we dominated with help of our tripping tea bags and our carpet bombing of other crap music...but it appears not to be enough my minions. We must beat, destroy, and barbecue this entity called Pterodactyl.

First, we must not only terrorize the hosting nations with crap music, but we shall send the whole crap sandwich quartet to our opponents. They will be expected to surrender the matches if they want it to stop.

Second, if they are foolhardy enough not to surrender, we shall not only blast the crap music to 11, but also we shall "influence" the referees into allowing ballistics onto the pitch. After all those Pterodactyls are always in the air, and its against the rules....I rule! We shall down them with a couple stinker missles...the methane explosion shall make everyone faint but us since we have been immune to it due to our exposure to gas chambers throughout our wonderfully tortured lives.

As we say here in The Evil Umpire...Pterodactyl.....YER OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,
8-Bit Ruler of Everything

Trefor Caersws (manager): "2-2! 2-2!!! We've already beaten this lot once, and we were rubbish that day too! Trefor, you were awful, Trefor, Trefor and Trefor, you're defenders, you're supposed to defend! Trefor, you're a right back, not a forward! Trefor and Trefor, it helps if you mave around the pitch a bit, Trefor and Trefor, when you run down the wing, you're supposed to cross it before it goes out, and Trefor, you aim at the rectangular shape between the posts and above the ground. Lucky for us, Garth scored two goals and got us out of the mess, but the rest of you, Trefor, Trefor, Trefor, Trefor, Trefor, Trefor, Trefor, Trefor, Trefor and Trefor, we're going to have to teach you how to play again. Any questions?"

Garth Vincent: "Er, which Trefor was which?"

*Caersws just stares and throws random pieces of stuff around the room.*

We got a tie guys!

Yes we did!

Did you see the look on their coach's face when we tied with less than a minute to go? I loved it. Now look. All we have to do is score one more goal than they do next game and we win.

What if we tie?

Tiebreakers...and I don't even want to think on it. hopefully we'll have the tiebreaker to beat them.

but if we score one more goal than that druid team we win right?

Yep.

think they might be distracted by Operation Cute'n'Fluffy?

I don't know. Let's try it.

Pedriana continue to improve

After successfully reaching the playoffs, Pedriana coach Olé Retaguma ramped up the training sessions for his team, knowing they would need to reach the quarterfinals in order to book their tickets to World Cup XVII. The opponent: A little known nation by the name of Northbank. Otha Jalkut would pick up a well deserved man of the match award with his two goals, though the Pedrian defense could have been a bit better, allowing two in return from Northbank. The final goal, though, from substitute Sol Svedine, would decide the match 3-2 in favor of Pedriana for a win in the first leg of the playoffs.

"All we've gotta do is do it again," said Retaguma after the match. "And then keep doing it."

Final score:
Pedriana 3 (Jalkut 11, 62; Svedine 74)
Northbank 2

The Playoffs are complete in Chacor! Results are here and congratulations to the two qualifiers!

Second Leg Scores (With aggregate)

Wapahkoneta 2:0 Avenging Altos (Avenging Altos win 5-4 on aggregate, Avenging Altos qualify for World Cup)
Vollmeria 1:0 Oceaice (Score is tied 2-2 on aggregate. Vollmeria qualify for World Cup on away goals rule)

The Playoffs are complete in Chacor! Results are here and congratulations to the two qualifiers!

Second Leg Scores (With aggregate)

Vollmeria 1:0 Oceaice


This Score is not Finalized as it has been specifically stated that extra time and penalties would be used if scores were level. The Liverpool England contengent has been removed from Chacor and the region will now be operated by Crystilakere.

Vollmeria 2:2 Oceaice (AET)-Agg.
Oceaice advance 5-3 on penalties


SECOND LEG SCORES::
Turori [3]-[0] Insane Inflation
Nova Brittanicus [3]-[1] HypercapitaliZm
The Evil Empire [2]-[1] Pterodactyl (AET)
Flexys Cefn Druids [0]-[1] Vorpal Bunnies
Oddslavo [0]-[1] Marligantis *
Northbank [2]-[2] Pedriana

*= Scorinated by CS


AGGREGATE SCORES::
Turori [6]-[0] Insane Inflation
Nova Brittanicus [5]-[3] HypercapitaliZm
The Evil Umpire [4]-[3] Pterodactyl
Flexys Cefn Druids [2]-[3] Vorpal Bunnies
Oddslavo [1]-[2] Marligantis
Northbank [4]-[5] Pedriana

Avenging Altos, Oceaice, Turori, The Evil Umpire, Vorpal Bunnies, Marligantis & Pedriana advance to the World Cup Finals.

Playoffs will take place between

Insane Inflation v. HypercapitaliZm

For one additional finals place.


Each Losing team will also playoff in the event that three additional teams are needed.

Quarter-Final Fixtures

Avenging Altos v. Oceaice
Turori v. Nova Britannicus
The Evil Umpire v. Vorpal Bunnies
Marligantis v. Pedriana



WCQ Playoff Fixtures

Insane Inflation v. HypercapitaliZm



Placement Fixtures

Wapahkoneta v. Vollmeria
Flexys Cefn Druids v. Pterodactyl
Oddslavo v. Northbank

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/oce.jpg

The Pirates

Back : Rémy DARCHIS, Julien BENHAMOU, Laurent BEDANI, Nicolas CAMI, Jaky LEGLIB, Jérôme LEBOUC, Sadio TRAORE, Kabi MOUSSORO, Rudy NOULE

Middle: Wiiliam DYMANT (Coach), Aurélien CHEDJOU, Vincent DI BARTOLOMEO, Camille OPONGA, Arthur DEMIRDJIAN, Stéphane MILLEREAU, Baghdad YAKHOU, Madjid BOUABDALLAH, Nicolas DELMAS, Jean-Marc FERRATGE (Coach)

Front: Jean-Jacques KOUASSI, Julien LABAT, Enis SAÏTI,, René BOULPIQUANTE (Coach), Jacques LE COADOU (Head Coach), Joël LOPEZ (Coach), Nicolas LAGO, Johnny SZLYKOWICZ, Dieudonné BIKOYOÏ

The Novan Daily News
Turori Await in the Quarters, but NB not going to World Cup

From Rupert Smythe, our man in Crystilakere
Shock news today in the Crystil Nation as Nova Britannicus' Caretaker-Coach David Bentley announced that his young squad would not be going to the Kaze Progressa/Vilita World Cup, despite qualifying for it in some style with a 3-1 win, 5-3 on aggregate

"When we entered this competition we assumed it would just be a chance to compete against other smaller nations for a bit of fun," said the 37 year-old former Starblaydi Forward, "we weren't looking to go to the World Cup at all, that's just crazy. We'll get slaughtered!"

Captain John Bowman, Dean Caliban and substitute Charlie French all got on the scoresheet to record a 3-1 win over HypercaptialiZm, agaisnt who Nova Britannicus' record now stands at Played 3, Won 1, Drawn 1, Lost 1. Not too bad for a team who have only played seven competitive matches.

So now Nova Britannicus face the highest-ranked team left in the tournament, Turori. Fellow Atlantian-Oceanians, Playing Turori is akin to playing our parent nation, Starblaydia, as they both have a ranking in the mid-40s in the world. Nova Britannicus' 220th entry ranking will hinder our plucky team, though the huge support behind the national game will ensure that we are a good match for each other on the pitch.

In other news, not only did Nova Britannicus decline to progress to the World Cup, but another team going by the name of 'Nova Brittanicus', who have exactly the same record as us, appeared to qualify for the World Cup but have declined to enter, for some unkown reason. More on that story when we have it.

'Up the Britannicans!"

Nova Britannicus (4-2-4): Tuckworth, J. Bowman, Fletcher, Willis, Saddler, Manley, Hogue, England, C. Bowman, McDonald, Caliban
Subs: Ellis, Bates, Davies, Richmond, French, Lyon, Marsden

HypercapitaliZm (?-?-?): No Information
Subs: No Information

Referee: Alan Belmore The 341st (TBF)

The Reichsmarkia Times
For only 450 Trillion TIY

Insane Inflation to the world cup?
After two matches which reminded of the Abysmals on a very bad day, the Insane Llamas still have the chance to advance into the world cup. Opponent in that deciding match is no one less than the infamous HypercapitaliZts from HypercapitaliZm. It will be a match of the economies: Inflation and debt based economy vs exploitation and debt based economy. Eauzian commentator Jaques Hurel believes (as one of the few) that the Llamas win: "Because hypercapitalism, sorry, HypercapitaliZm is bound to fail"

okay, I've really got to ask this. MArligantis (find me its most recent RP) beat Oddslavo? A just-under-200 rank beat a just-under-30? No effing damn way.

Vorpal Bunnies Make World Cup!

Hey Nester's! You knowe that small island that out by the northeast corner of the Nest? that is overrun by rabbits? They have a soccer team, that made the world cup!

They won on aggregate 3-2 over a colony of NEWI Cefn Druids.

They have to play The Evil umpire, a WC veteren now in the Colony Cup Quarterfinals.

Wish the Bunnies luck!

okay, I've really got to ask this. MArligantis (find me its most recent RP) beat Oddslavo? A just-under-200 rank beat a just-under-30? No effing damn way.

Cockbill Street Scorinated the Match with no knowledge of what teams he was scorinating for. Don't you dare come on here and ask about marligantis RP when you yourself don't have more than a 3 line jack in the box that you posted yesterday, and couldn't "be bothered" to log in to Oddslavo to post it.

Pirates back in cup

The oceaice Pirates have returned to the World Cup as a result of their 5-3 Penalty win over Vollmeria in the Chacor Region Playoff. After travelling the world many times, and twice losing their home ship to inclement weather, the Pirates are back on their feet and ready to play. Oceaice went undefeated in the group stage and are hoping to overcome Avenging Altos in the Quarterfinals.

Oceaice Defender Oponga has been named Oceaice player of the year after scoring the penalty that won the game for the Pirates. Oponga also scored 3 goals for the Pirates in the group stage, and has been compared with the goalscoring prowess of Crystilakere defender Filippo Ferarro.

Cockbill Street Scorinated the Match with no knowledge of what teams he was scorinating for. Don't you dare come on here and ask about marligantis RP when you yourself don't have more than a 3 line jack in the box that you posted yesterday, and couldn't "be bothered" to log in to Oddslavo to post it.

Tell me why didnt Crystilikere scorinate it.

Tell me why didnt Crystilikere scorinate it.

Because Crystilakere would have known what he was scorinating. And i knew, with your history, there was a potential for you to be mad at any result. So I gave someone two ranks and told them to scorinate, which they did, with no knowledge of which team was which, giving you no grounds for complaint against Myself or Crystilakere.

Quarter Final Scores

Turori [2]-[1] Nova Britannicus

Oceaice [3]-[3] Avenging Altos*
*Avenging Altos advance 4-2 on Penalty Kicks

The Evil Umpire [3]-[0] Vorpal Bunnies

Marligantis [1]-[2] Pedriana


Semi Final Matchups::

Turori v. Avenging Altos
The Evil Umpire v. Pedriana

I would much have preferred someone involved scorinating it. The fact it was CS, no offence CS, is what causes me not to believe it.

I would much have preferred someone involved scorinating it. The fact it was CS, no offence CS, is what causes me not to believe it.

/me thinks that LE has confirmed this over IRC and this post is no longer relavent :)

The Novan Daily News
Britannicans fall before the Eely Might

From Rupert Smythe, our man in Crystilakere
With a nail-biting 2-2 in the Group Stages, Nova Britannicus met Turori at the Quarter-Final stage of the Colony Cup. The Turorians were just too good this time, however, beating Nova Britannicus 2-1.

Charlie Bowman scored his fifth, and last, goal of the Tournament against the Turorians, though he is now Nova Britannicus' all-time top scorer, with... er... five goals. Not a bad haul for the twenty year-old who plays for Corinthian Spirits. Maybe he'll be playing a few more games from them.

With Nova Britannicus not going to the World Cup in Kaze Progressa and Vilita, one of Insane Inflation or HypercapitaliZm will be taking their place after a play-off. Starblaydi-League fans should probably be supporting the Inflationers, as four of their players are registered at the Beta-Division club Phraen Palace.


Nova Britannicus (4-2-4): Tuckworth, J. Bowman, Fletcher, Willis, Saddler, Manley, Hogue, England, C. Bowman, McDonald, Caliban
Subs: Ellis, Bates, Davies, Richmond, French, Lyon, Marsden

Turori (4-4-2): Slietah, Niabula, Hunial, Ecspo, Likao, Poloni, Mumamba, Tbaiao, Tuirma, Vumaou, Liano
Subs: White, Tareak, Doohan, Ambama, Houabou, Iobabao , Sakatorra

Referee: Alan Belmore The 82nd (TBF)

Pterodactyl Wings Broken

The Pterodactyl's were lost 2-1 in the additional time from The Evil Umpire taking them out of the Colony Cup competition and also the World Cup competition. First they tied 2-2 in the first leg and then they had to have won over The Evil Umpire to advance to the next round and the world cup. After a full game in game two the scores were tied but then The Evil Umpire scored again and Pterodactyl would not and The Evil Umpire got into the next round and also got into the World Cup.

Pterodactyl will play one final match against the Flexys Cefn Druids who have also lost in their match it will be a placement match and hopefully Pterodactyl can win and prove their betterness from Flexys Cefn Druids.

Update:

Semi Final Matchups

Turori v. Avenging Altos
Almintora National Stadium, Turori*

The Evil Umpire v. Pedriana
Crystilakere National Stadium, Crystilakere


* Match Scorinated by Crystilakere



WCQ Playoff Matchups
The Winner of Each match will earn a spot in the World Cup 17 Qualifiers.

Insane Inflation v. HypercapitaliZm
Wapahkoneta v. Vollmeria
Flexys Cefn Druids v. Pterodactyl
Oddslavo v. Northbank*

*Generated by Total n Utter Insanity

Results of WCQ Playoff matches will be announced prior to the WC17 Group Draw at 6:00 PM EST. Draw will take place in IRC Channel #sport on irc.esper.net

Llamas in WCXVII Qualifiers, Colony Cup Semifinals

While news outlets have been down throughout Pedriana due to a tropical storm making landfall on Monday, the national football team, the Llamas, successfully dispatched Northbank 5-4 on aggregate and then defeated Marligantis 2-1 in the quarterfinals to become one of the final four teams in this Colony Cup.

"I didn't think we'd get this far, because I was sure we'd end up playing Oddslavo at some point," confessed coach Olé Retaguma. "But since we are here, we're working our proverbial asses off."

When asked about the Llamas' semifinal opponents, the Evil Umpire, Retaguma had this to say: "Hah! We can take 8-Bit's cronies eight days a week, 367 days a year! Bring it on, ump!"

A missive from 8-Bit, Ruler of All

Ha Ha Ha! I knew sneaking flat Pepsi Blue into the Vorpal Bunnies carrot juice would turn them green and make them spew turquoise! I am so brilliant, no wonder I am god of the universe! That Melmondian goddess is bullslani, I am the real deity!

Anyway I would like to draw out our new plan of mayhem and torment for our next opponent Pedriana. First, we shall continue what has been working...Operation Crap Sandwich. We shall use our subconscious songsticker weapons and crap songs in each of the host nations to drive them mad to the point they give us all the calls. Second, we shall aim the whole craptacular package of Journey, Limp Bizkit, LFO, and Starship at the Pedrianans, who shall fall to their knees as they suffer unprecented aural torture!

Actually, they are going to fall to their knees anyway at the hands of our terrible tripping teabags: Holy India Tea Bag and Vamphir Tea Bag. Seeing that this nation is called PEDriana, they must value and be rather adept with their feet. But if we cut them off...their abilities and spirits will be destroyed. That is why the tea bags shall be tripping with weedwackers! The referee won't mind it once we give him our great bribe...an autographed picture of Holy India Tea Bag in a sexually seductive pose.

Surrender Pedriana! There is no hope for you! YER OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,
8-Bit Ruler of All

Check your telegrams for your Semi Final scores

YER OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pedriana's excellent run in the Colony Cup came to an abrupt halt today.

Llamas goalkeeper J.C. Steich seemed to be feeling fine when he stepped out onto the pitch to start the semifinal match against The Evil Umpire. Or at least that's how it looked. Actually, he reported after the match that he was being slowly driven insane by incessant music coming from the direction of the Evil Umpire. Most of the other players reported similar symptoms, though Steich was seemingly affected the worst. And this really showed itself in the match, as he seemed to not be paying any attention at all. That would perhaps explain how not one, not two, not even three, but FIVE goals found their way into the Pedriana goal. The Llamas were far too disorganized to retaliate, the only thing preventing a shutout being a failed backpass by a TEU defender.

We tried to speak with coach Olé Retaguma after the match, but his only words were, "Keep rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin'...".

Final score:
Pedriana 1 (TEU og 42)
The Evil Umpire 5 (3, 8, 17, 36, 64)

For historical Reference, Avenging Altos defeated The Evil Umpire in the final.