NationStates Jolt Archive

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Iuthian males measure up for Sexual Health Week

Today saw the release of a new medical report concerning the average Iuthian males sexual health for this weeks Sexual Health campaign which sets out to measure the average Iuthians endowments as well as their general health and awareness of STDs.

This week has been dedicated to the sexual health of Iuthia’s population to raise awareness of the importance of taking precautions and getting medical advice to protect against foreign Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) and to further spread the word a number of reports regarding the health of our nation have been released this week in the hope of highlighting the issue further.

Earlier today one of these reports, funded in by both the Iuthian government and the Iuthian Guild of Negotiable Affection (IGNA) concerning the health of the average Iuthian male and, for the additional interest their average measurements in the trouser department only discover that the majority of Iuthian males measure in average around 7” to anything up to 10” or more in rarer cases. The explanation given for such interest by the IGNA simply hinted that the research was to be put to “good” use and was mainly agreed upon in order to increase the profile of the report to appeal to Iuthians so more would pay attention to the results of the medical research.

The majority of the report hints at the Iuthian population being well informed from a young age about the risks of unprotected sex and that the health of your average Iuthia is above the world average because of the frank open attitudes within the Iuthian society where other cultures may have trouble talking. The report also states that because of this awareness and care the rate of STDs in Iuthia is lower then that of the world average

Dr. Ryan Manton gives his opinion of the report:

"Quite frankly we are amazed at the findings, I mean, we’ve always known we have been able to put the tourists in their place at the urinals, but we never suspected it to this extent… it will certain give Iuthian something to think about during the week. Otherwise the rest of it isn’t really news to me, I’ve always known deep down that many of our citizens are reasonable with their bodies… so the likelihood of them catching STDs are much less. Still, I’m glad to hear of this..."

OOC: That’s my fill of stupid bets on IRC, I will enjoy linking this thread in reply to other nations “RAWR METAL PENIS” weapon stat posts…

To be honest I think I could have done better for "OMG MY PENISES ARE BETTER THEN JOURS" thread... but :p I'm tired and it's not a serious claim... I'm just messing around with the News Format to the tune of a silly claim.

OOC:

For the love of god...

OOC: oh my goodness.

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OMP Alliance Pull Out of Klatch

After much diplomatic pressure from both Klatchian and Iuthian governments the fleets of the OMP Alliance have pulled their ships out of the region of Klatch, allowing Iuthian escorts to return home and shipments to continue as normal.

The incident began several weeks ago when rumours of piracy in Klatchian waters leaked to the OMP alliance who took it upon themselves to react to the rumours and investigate with a 400 vessel fleet of vessels from various members of the naval alliance.

However, due to the lack of proper diplomacy and communication with nations within Klatch, trouble began as mercentile skippers refused to sail amidst a sea full of potentially hostile vessels within the Klatchian region's international waters, causing economical damage to both Klatchian nations as well as Iuthia itself.

Due to these loses in trade, the Klatchian nation, Vrak, took to diplomatic channels demanding compensation from the fleet for damages caused by their lack of diplomatic tact in the affair, even going as far as to threaten the nations of the OMP with action unless ammends were made.

It is at this time, one week ago, in which the Iuthian government decided to take action and escort shipments themselves in order to secure trade routes and comment on the situation personally.

One Iuthian press conference with the Minister of Public Relations revealed to us that

"Iuthia has not encountered any 'pirates' thoughout the few years we have been trading in the region of Klatch, up until the OMP's involvement Iuthia had not had any issues with it's trade routes going to and from the region."

After much collaberation with the nations in Klatch as well as a few new diplomatic contacts the Iuthian goverment was able to work with the region to provide an exellent net of protection over the regional trade route, dispite harse words coming from both the OMP and Klatchians at one anothers actions.

The incident soon ended once the Scandavian States declared waters within 100 miles of their fleets to be zone in which no Klatchian vessels could enter, enraging both allies and Klatchians alike. Soon after much diplomatic pressure the entire OMP withdrew from the region, having not caught any pirates or truely resolving the issue.

The Iuthian Govern Issued this statement:

"We feel that lessons must be learnt as the clear lack of communication and diplomacy displayed as affected trading within the area in such a manner we felt we had to escort our shipments themselves in order to reassure merchants the trade routes were safe.

Had attempts been made to co-operate with the region instead of just acting without their concent alot of this could have been avoided and perhaps the Scandavian States navy would have got their pirates.

Meanwhile we feel that Hamptonshire on the otherhand; while taking part in the orginal deployment at least showed willing to co-operate with the region and resovle the issue diplomatically once it was clear that mistakes had been made.

In summary, while many nations concider themselves to be powerful enough to act as they wish, its clear that without good communication even a simple mission can be made complex... to completely ignore the concerns of other nations risks complications and serious incidents where they could have been avoided. It does well to get locals on your side other then to make them your enemies.

We hope lessons can be learnt and we thank the Vrakians again for compensating us for our loses in this affair.."

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Lord General deGritz announces engagement to Liessa Valleron

After much speculation as to Lord General James deGritz's relationship with Liessa Valleron (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=343536), the elven presenter of the holiday program "Iuthian Holidays", he has finally announced his intention to marry the celebrity in a private event.

The rumours began late last spring when the Lord General was seen leaving a famous restaurant with the lovely Liessa Valleron on what was rumoured to be date. These rumours were eventually confirmed by the Iuthian Governments Public Relations Minister and the relationship was made public, but to the joy of nationalists everywhere.

During the long months that followed, much of their relationship was kept well away from public view but a few events were done with the couple both present and looking to be truelly in love.

After the recent social event in Aerion, Lord General deGritz preposed to Liessa and was accepted. In the later week we were informed of this event by the Public Relations Minister and the followed resently by the Lord General himself.

Now as preparations are made for the upcoming wedding cerimony which is rumoured to be taking place before the end of the year we shall be following the upcoming events.

OOC: Err... ok.