The Water Cooler
19-08-2004, 06:59
To the nations of the world,
I today bring you an unusual request. In the past, we have squandered money on costly intelligence gathering missions to determine who the weak nations are, so we may plot to conquer them.
However, it occurred to me last night, that perhaps we should do something different.
As a result I know make this request: tell us if you are weak and/or
ready to be invaded, and made a part of the glorious and most Holy Empire of the Water Cooler.
Sure you could stay a ‘sovereign’ country – but really, who wants that? Think of the money you would save by becoming a colony of the Empire. Think of the glory, think of the respect you would gain.
Of course there are also more advantages, for instance we would be able to protect your from bigger, scarier nations, plus we could assure you a place in the Immortal Water Cooler – no more relying on ‘false’ and ‘silly’ religions in the hope that your afterlife will be safe, with the Water Cooler, that is guaranteed. Plus, you will finally get a chance to be a ‘Coolian’ – which is something you have always wanted.
So reply today, and who knows with a little luck you may be chosen and made a colony of the Holy Empire of the Water Cooler!
(limited time only!)
Sincerely,
The Most Holy and Omnipotent Emperor of The Water Cooler, Emperor Sohi
I today bring you an unusual request. In the past, we have squandered money on costly intelligence gathering missions to determine who the weak nations are, so we may plot to conquer them.
However, it occurred to me last night, that perhaps we should do something different.
As a result I know make this request: tell us if you are weak and/or
ready to be invaded, and made a part of the glorious and most Holy Empire of the Water Cooler.
Sure you could stay a ‘sovereign’ country – but really, who wants that? Think of the money you would save by becoming a colony of the Empire. Think of the glory, think of the respect you would gain.
Of course there are also more advantages, for instance we would be able to protect your from bigger, scarier nations, plus we could assure you a place in the Immortal Water Cooler – no more relying on ‘false’ and ‘silly’ religions in the hope that your afterlife will be safe, with the Water Cooler, that is guaranteed. Plus, you will finally get a chance to be a ‘Coolian’ – which is something you have always wanted.
So reply today, and who knows with a little luck you may be chosen and made a colony of the Holy Empire of the Water Cooler!
(limited time only!)
Sincerely,
The Most Holy and Omnipotent Emperor of The Water Cooler, Emperor Sohi