Lunatic Retard Robots
15-08-2004, 04:41
The freighter RMSV Edmund Blackadder drifts through hyperspace serenely. The realm of ultraphysics was a beautiful place indeed, and if the population was not already quite full, many more people would live there no doubt.
Hyperintelligent Pan-dimensional dolphins swim in the freighter's wake through hyperspace, as deities flit back and forth, attending to whatever buisiness they happen to be attending to.
Through the rolling waves of algorithms and topographical structures beyond the understanding of any known intelligence less than a minor god, the big freighter plies, perfectly safe and secure.
"She saaaaiiiiiiidddd...I know what it's like to be sad. I know what it is to be mad. And she's making me feel like I've never before...."
Helmsman Clarke Wizowski swivels in his helmsman's chair, his feet up on the dash, singing along to the Bealtes tune "She Said She Said."
The ship's AI performs the complicated hyperspatial navigation algorithms as the rest of the bridge crew of a full two people sits around, listening to music.
The ship's astronomer, meanwhile, sits in his observation booth, and watches the dolphins outside.
Meanwhile, however, the two engineers and the captain are deep in the bowels of the ship, removing this and that for inspection. A suspicious rattling noise had been heard earlier, and by god they would get to the bottom of it.
"What's this?" calls Utx Iterns, the engineer robot.
He points to a large capacitor, which had, to their great consternation, managed to tear loose.
Captain Percy and the other engineer, Ykz Hughes, stare at the giant capacitor.
"Looks like it wasn't even fastened right. You two hold me, I'll go get it."
Utx crawls down to the small space where the capacitor had managed to fall.
"I got...nope, nope. Just a little further."
The capacitor seems to have a mind of its own, floating a little bit farther down into the jumble of electronics and other hyperspace machinery.
"Ha! I've got the bugger! I've got it!"
Utx turns around, and floats back, failing to notice the large mass of wires wrapping around his left foot.
Back on the bridge, Wizowski feels the ship shake a little bit. A little bit...and then he is thrown foreward against the hyperglass windows and is knocked out. Outside, the fields of hyperspace begin to vanish, and soon the scene is replaced by 'real' space.
"IIIIIIIIIII TTTTTOOOOOLLLLLDDDDDDYYYOOOOUUUUUTTTTTOOOOOTTTTTAPPPPEEEEETTTTHHHHOOOOOOSSSSSSEEEEEEEWWWWWWIIIIIIIRR RRRRREEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!"
Utx is buffeted by massive electromagnetic fields as the hyperspace machinery overloads. Ykz and Captain Percy are shot out of the engineering compartment and end up in the pantry and freezer respectively.
Finally, the buffeting is replaced by a calmer slight vibration, which in turn calms to stillness in several seconds. Utx floats out of the small crawlspace, slowly reducing the electrical charge built up on his shiny metal body.
"I told you to tape that wire."
Ykz and Percy pick themselves up and find Utz, who is repeating "I told you to tape that wire," to whoever might be within earshot.
"I was going to do it in a few minutes...sorry."
When Clarke Wizowski comes to, he finds the captain, the engineers, and the rest of the six-person crew sitting at the bridge table, while the AI tries desperately to make sense of the badly corrupted navigational charts.
"Hi."
"Hey."
"So...er...what happened?"
"Hyperspace core malfunction. We need another one."
"What about the..."
"We lost it, remember?"
"Oh yeah."
"Ykz here sent out a sub-etha distress call, so mabye someone will come out to save our souls."
The freighter is in a very bad position, stuck outside hyperspace somewhere near the edge of the Milky Way, without navigational charts and badly damaged conventional drives.
However, the Sub-etha message should take a week tops to reach RGF command, but until then...
OCC: You can jump in as anything. Pirate, rescue, bounty hunter for the insurance company, just nothing really stupid.
Hyperintelligent Pan-dimensional dolphins swim in the freighter's wake through hyperspace, as deities flit back and forth, attending to whatever buisiness they happen to be attending to.
Through the rolling waves of algorithms and topographical structures beyond the understanding of any known intelligence less than a minor god, the big freighter plies, perfectly safe and secure.
"She saaaaiiiiiiidddd...I know what it's like to be sad. I know what it is to be mad. And she's making me feel like I've never before...."
Helmsman Clarke Wizowski swivels in his helmsman's chair, his feet up on the dash, singing along to the Bealtes tune "She Said She Said."
The ship's AI performs the complicated hyperspatial navigation algorithms as the rest of the bridge crew of a full two people sits around, listening to music.
The ship's astronomer, meanwhile, sits in his observation booth, and watches the dolphins outside.
Meanwhile, however, the two engineers and the captain are deep in the bowels of the ship, removing this and that for inspection. A suspicious rattling noise had been heard earlier, and by god they would get to the bottom of it.
"What's this?" calls Utx Iterns, the engineer robot.
He points to a large capacitor, which had, to their great consternation, managed to tear loose.
Captain Percy and the other engineer, Ykz Hughes, stare at the giant capacitor.
"Looks like it wasn't even fastened right. You two hold me, I'll go get it."
Utx crawls down to the small space where the capacitor had managed to fall.
"I got...nope, nope. Just a little further."
The capacitor seems to have a mind of its own, floating a little bit farther down into the jumble of electronics and other hyperspace machinery.
"Ha! I've got the bugger! I've got it!"
Utx turns around, and floats back, failing to notice the large mass of wires wrapping around his left foot.
Back on the bridge, Wizowski feels the ship shake a little bit. A little bit...and then he is thrown foreward against the hyperglass windows and is knocked out. Outside, the fields of hyperspace begin to vanish, and soon the scene is replaced by 'real' space.
"IIIIIIIIIII TTTTTOOOOOLLLLLDDDDDDYYYOOOOUUUUUTTTTTOOOOOTTTTTAPPPPEEEEETTTTHHHHOOOOOOSSSSSSEEEEEEEWWWWWWIIIIIIIRR RRRRREEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!"
Utx is buffeted by massive electromagnetic fields as the hyperspace machinery overloads. Ykz and Captain Percy are shot out of the engineering compartment and end up in the pantry and freezer respectively.
Finally, the buffeting is replaced by a calmer slight vibration, which in turn calms to stillness in several seconds. Utx floats out of the small crawlspace, slowly reducing the electrical charge built up on his shiny metal body.
"I told you to tape that wire."
Ykz and Percy pick themselves up and find Utz, who is repeating "I told you to tape that wire," to whoever might be within earshot.
"I was going to do it in a few minutes...sorry."
When Clarke Wizowski comes to, he finds the captain, the engineers, and the rest of the six-person crew sitting at the bridge table, while the AI tries desperately to make sense of the badly corrupted navigational charts.
"Hi."
"Hey."
"So...er...what happened?"
"Hyperspace core malfunction. We need another one."
"What about the..."
"We lost it, remember?"
"Oh yeah."
"Ykz here sent out a sub-etha distress call, so mabye someone will come out to save our souls."
The freighter is in a very bad position, stuck outside hyperspace somewhere near the edge of the Milky Way, without navigational charts and badly damaged conventional drives.
However, the Sub-etha message should take a week tops to reach RGF command, but until then...
OCC: You can jump in as anything. Pirate, rescue, bounty hunter for the insurance company, just nothing really stupid.