NationStates Jolt Archive


Sebastian: the talk show. (character RP)

Jordaxia
07-08-2004, 01:31
OOC: Remember, Sebastian has a Jamaican accent.
*the titles role, showing Sebastian with a number of celebrity guests taken from the series. The title music, played by a big band, Sebastian’s Crustaceans, is under the sea. As the camera pulls back to show the audience cheer wildly for their favourite lobster, he descends from a large flight of stairs, with a top hat and a cane.*

His interviewers’ desk rises up from the floor, as does the guests seats, and he takes his place. The narrators voice, none other than Neptune himself, announces whose tonights guest will be.

“Today, on Sebastian, we have a very special guest with us today. Slithering in, all the way from Agrabah, the one, the only, Genie of the lamp… Jafar!”

*The audience boos sportingly as sinister music is played by the band. The lights go down as dry ice is released onto the floor. As doors open, lights behind him creating a silhouette, the snake staffs eyes light up menacingly. He gives a maniacal laugh, as he strides over to his seat, where he takes his place. The lights come up to full, and we see Jafar in black Arabic robes. Sebastian applauds him until he sits down, and the interview begins.*

“So, Jafar, It’s a pleasure to see you again, I remember the last time, I believe we were at an animated characters reunion party?”

“Yes, I remember that, most entertaining, we were all a bit drunk by the end of it though, so I don’t remember it too well.” He laughs nervously, as Iago starts to speak.

“A bit drunk? Give us a break! You were absolutely wasted! And don’t forget the spectacle you made in front of everybody when you tried to look up the skirt of that waitress! Jeez, you’d think yo-“

*Iago breaks off abruptly as Jafar grabs him by the beak and flings him against the wall. He turns and smiles towards Sebastian as if nothing has happened.*

“Where were we? Ah, yes, ABJE---- the reunion. Those were good times. We had fun, didn’t we? I remember another time, another good time, on the mountaintop above Agrabah. I was Sultan then, very influential. If you needed something, all you had to do was ring, and Jafar would find it for you… until, “he” appeared.

*Jafar seethes, whilst Sebastian looks on nervously.*

“He ruined everything! You would expect that when you blast someone to the North Pole, they’d at least have the common courtesy to FREEZE to death, wouldn’t you say? That damned street rat! All of my work undone in 10 short minutes! Banished to that accursed lamp with only that fool parrot as a Companion. And what happens? What is his punishment for assaulting beloved Sultan? Nothing! He gets to live his fraudulent lifestyle as Prince Abubu! He’s a con, need I go on? Take it from me.

Sebastian intervenes, obviously concerned about the state of his pilot show.

“But mon, you are fine now, see? Sitting here, giving this interview, shows you are on the way back. So, lets not be dwelling on the past mon. was the flight over interesting?”

“Well, what can we say about the flight? Individual flights are hardly worth taking an exhaustive note of. Service was standard, turbulence was, surprisingly low, meals were awful, as usual. The in-flight movie was not what I was used to. I assure you, Ghostbusters is not the sort of movie I regularly go to see at the Agrabah cinemaplex. The hostesses were fine specimens, if I may be so bold, though I was rather tired, after doing an exhaustive underwear photo shoot.

“Really? Do you have a lot of this kind of work?” Sebastian asked.

“Oh, more than you could appreciate. I’m always getting calls for these jobs. I mean, obviously, they’re just money earners until my next big role, I mean, seriously, who could pass up someone of my acting calibre. Jafar finished this with a flourish, his cape billowing up as if from nowhere.”

Sebastian leafs through his notes, searching for some other questions to ask Jafar. He picks one out, and reads it.

“So, mon. This Iago of yours. Do you get along as well as the movies would suggest, or is there some friction behind the scenes?”

Jafar responds “Good question, Sebastian, I’m glad you asked. No, I and Iago don’t get along as well as our countless movie duos would suggest. He rather thinks that I am the dominant of the two of us, and that the audiences never seem to recognise his talent. I tell him that he’s talking rubbish, that he has no talent to recognise, but he never seems to take it in the spirit that it’s meant. The arguments we get into, where the feathers and the dishes start flying. You should see the palace when we’re done.” He chuckles at his recollection, and continues. “We do get along well, most of the time, watching television together, doing the crosswords. We have quite a secluded life in Agrabah, until Hollywood, and Bollywood, comes calling.

Sebastian again flicks through his notes, looking for the last question. He finds it, and pulls it out.

“Well, Jafar. It’s been lovely having you with us tonight, though I’m afraid we only have a few minutes left. I have one question that I would like to ask before you go though. Given your esteemed movie career, do you think that you will be shooting another movie in Agrabah? Maybe writing an autobiography? To the point, what will you be doing when we see you next?”

Jafar replies “Another excellent question. Having so many offers of huge Hollywood productions flung at me by my agent all the time, I can’t tell you for certain which one will catch my eye next. I do intend to be writing an autobiography, called “The Rise and Rise of Jafar.” In that, It’ll tell you my secret to success, and how to duplicate it. I’ve already begun it, and I can tell you it is a very enjoyable read, if I do say so myself. Of course, not meaning to brag, but it’s one of those things I can say with certainty.

*He smiles at the camera and the audience, then turns back to Sebastian, who finishes up.*

“That’s wonderful, Jafar mon. Well, it’s been fantastic having you with us, Jafar, very nice to see you again. I’d like to thank you again for being here tonight, and I’ll see you at the after party. My drinks on you, right?”

“Haha, I think not.”

*he takes out the snake staff, and pushes it into Sebastian’s face.*

“You will be purchasing drinks for me!” He says, forcefully, to Sebastian.
Sebastian responds dully “I will be purchasing the drinks for you. Good night everyone.”

*As the lights fade, big band playing them out, the narrators voice comes over.
“On next weeks show, we don’t know! If you feel that you, or someone you know, should be interviewed on Sebastian, the number one aquatic interviewer, then drop us a line at 555-SEBASTIAN. Alternatively, e-mail us at w ww.SebastianTV.com/show”
The lights fade to black, and the audience applause does likewise.

OOC: If you want your nations leader, or you have someone humourous enough, then say something, or drop a TG concerning who it is, and Sebastian (not really) will get back to you. Also, this is not something I do often. Quality will (thankfully) rise, as I get more used to conducting interviews. I hope.
Jordaxia
07-08-2004, 03:12
whoa-up night time bump for comments and participants?
Larogera
07-08-2004, 03:15
Jordaxia: I would really enjoy if you questioned our outgoing Deputy of Intelligence Gordon A. Fischer. Contact me, and I can tell you more about his personality and such. :p
GOOD INTERVIEW!
Jordaxia
07-08-2004, 03:35
I'm glad you liked the interview. As I said, I wasn't too sure about it myself.
You should recieve a TG in the next 24 hours concerning your request re:Gordan A Fischer.
Larogera
07-08-2004, 03:38
Thank you! ;)
Unified Sith
07-08-2004, 07:40
bump
Unified Sith
07-08-2004, 20:23
Bump
Jordaxia
14-08-2004, 03:59
*The same show ritual once again, big band plays sebastian in. This time he's guided by "mermaids", in actuality young women with little on, wearing wearing long skirts with a slight scaled effect.
Neptune, the announcer, comes over the audience wild applause, to announce tonights guest.*

"Iiiiiiiiiit's Sebastian! The late night talk show, with all the "snap" of a primetime production.

Tonight, we have a very special guest. He's came all the way from Aegeus just to speak to us tonight.

Introducing, the Headman of Aegeus..... Raaaaaaaaaaaaayne!"

*The crowd go even further, and Rayne enters with two more mermaids on his side. The big band play a
jazzed up version of the Aegean national anthem, whilst Rayne is obviously impressed with his two escorts. He pulls them tighter to himself, and whispers something into each of their ears. In true poker face style, neither mermaids expression change, but Rayne breaks out into a laugh, raising an eyebrow. He sits himself down on the chair next to sebastian. Sebastian, noticing Raynes size, quickly raises his chair up two notches, and as the applause dies down, sebastian begins.*

"Welcome to the show, Headman Rayne. Awfully nice of you to come from across the universe to talk with us, mon. I been hearing rumours that you're quite a strong character, I can see they weren't lying. So, I got to ask you, mon. Were you bullied at school? I mean, most people really start to bodybuild for a reason like that."

*Rayne chuckles, then answers.*

"No. At school, I possesed the Stormguard Gauntlets, and so was unstoppable. There was this guy named Bruce... he tried to push me around, so I smacked him. *he laughs again* It took them weeks to get all of him out of the linoleum. Yeah, that was good."

*Sebastian, slightly taken aback by What Rayne said, quickly regains his composure.*

"Well, that's great. Glad to see that people can still stand up for themselves. There was this one time, when I was at school? I mean, the jellyfish thought they owned everything, see? But they messed wit' the wrong lobster when they tried to take my lunch off me. See, when they went to grab my lunch, I gots busy with me claw, see? *he snaps claws twice for effect* and snapped their danglies off, just like that

*another snap*. Nobody tried to take Sebastians lunch after that, heh. *he smiled to the camera and the audience, then turned back to Rayne.* Of course, I was one of the nice guys at school, in the choir, and the steel band, but I had a reputation from then on, mon. Anyway, this is your interview. Are you attached to anyone at the moment, any lady friends?"

*Rayne, once again amused by the question, and once again remembering, begun his response*

"Well, Sebastian. The thing you need to understand about me, is, theres more than enough for every lucky lady, and every lady I meet is lucky. *He winks comically at a random woman in the audience. Anywhere else in the world, she might have made a fuss, but when the guest is invincible, and guarded by Neptune, it tends to make you protest a little more quietly.* But sure. I have a lot of women who do nothing more but lie around next to my throne all day, and wait for me to come back. *he laughs very loudly for a moment, and says nothing more."

*Sebastian looks intrigued by his almost cryptic response*

"So, a bit of a ladies man, are we? Very nice. I expect you try to have company most nights?

"Heh, better than that. I make sure I have company every night." Rayne responds.

"Excellent, mon. Anyway, what about the day after. How do you start your day? I gather it would be quite different to the lot of us, considering you're a national leader."

"Well, when i get up in the morning, i usually have to shift some female off of me, and put on some pants. I perform the natural male ritual of thte "shiff test". Well, after that, i hit the lou, and probably grab a muffin, blueberry. Then i go to my throne and relax, eating my muffin. i generally about then get some bad news, and sit out half of it. I then get infuriated and blast the culprit into the nearest wall. this proscess is repeated several times, then i go and eat a subway sandwitch for lunch, meatballs, cheese and olives! *licks lips quickly*"

"So, aside from the early morning murder *Sebastian smiles very nervously, and looks over to where Neptune is sitting with a mike*, you don't really have too much of a different routine to any man?"

"Well, I doubt any man eats Blueberry muffin every morning. I heard sometimes the shops run out. But apart from that, I try to keep things pretty normal in my throne room. A relaxed atmosphere means that the messengers aren't so afraid that I'll blast them for bad news. More fool them, eh? *he jabs

Sebastian in the ribs, implausibly, from across the table.*

"Well, mon. We got to be continuing this, otherthewise, we'll be hear all night. Speaking of that, what do you intend to be doing after the show is done?"

*Rayne grins at what might be done after the interview, then answers.*

"Well, probably beign assaulted by reporters, you know how it is. You can never get anything done without them hounding you everywhere. You'd think that they'd have something better to do than try to make their name off of my back! Sometimes, they just don't know when to give up. Believe me, I've had to draw the line for them. I might have to kill some military grunts for fu...for budget reasons. Uhhh, most of the commanders don't have the guts to sack their men.... yeah, that's the reason. No guts. Maybe I'll get a little lucky too, if you know what I'm saying, eh? *He goes to jab Sebastian again, but he leans back in his chair, getting out of the road of the exceptionally strong arm.*

"Yeah... I know what you mean. Sounds like you got a lot to keep you busy, mon. I like that. I especially like how you keep busy, heh. I would ask how you keep fit, but I don't think I need to. Anyway, we're almost out of time here, only enough time for another question or two. Tell me some more about your childhood. Did you have any pets?"

*Rayne, who has been covertly and overtly smiling after almost every question asked, continues to do so. A fact that the cameraman has not missed. He zooms in on the latest, a very sly grin, almost sleazy in its quality, but quickly vanishing as Rayne begins to answer.*

"Well, my current sla...pet is named Jessie. she very tender and loving. shes very soft hearted, and gentle. she also can get wild as an ox... " *another grin* "We get along great, and she's never far away when I get some bad news. She never fails to take my mind off it either."

"That's great, Rayne. Glad to see that even our national leaders still have time for pets. I remember, I used to have this barnacle. It was wild. You should see how excited it'd get when I came home, I tell you...." *he sighs.* "They were good times. uh, but anyway, we really have to finish this up now. I suppose I should ask you one of those topical questions, see what I get out of you. Lots of people have been gettin' worked up about this "abortion" business. What do you make of it, eh?"

"Well, the more population there is, the more soldiers we have. If the preteen and teenaged families cannot support their child, then the child will be removed by the government for training to become a productive military soul. So, we have that problem wrapped up. The children that we support often enjoy long careers in the armed forces, rising through the ranks. This kind of future is probably better than any the mother could afford."

"I... see. Well, it's been great talking to you, Rayne. Not often we get a leader in the studio. It's been a wonderful evening, but I'm afraid that we've run out of time for tonights show. *Sebastian turns to the audience.* "Well, everybody, we're out of time, so, give it up for Rayne!"

*The Audience goes wild, drowning out the few short words between Sebastian and Rayne. The lights go down, and you see the silhouette of Sebastian and Rayne shaking hands. The credits roll, and the message asking anyone who wants an interview to get in contact plays.*
Jordaxia
14-08-2004, 08:18
Comments.... anyone? You make me sad. Come, patsy.
Serconea
14-08-2004, 11:11
My country's President Alexei Tuomas, would be interested in an interview. TG me and I will give you information you need.