NationStates Jolt Archive

Leodric Radetsky, Imperial Governor of Somalia, sighed. He hated mornings. He really hated Monday mornings. And there was nothing on Earth he hated more than Monday Mornings in Summer. "Send the first native in..."

It was a typical case. Subject A, a Somali of the Muhammad sub-clan of the Dir clan, requested permission to...he wasn't sure, but he thought it sounded like 'skin'... Subject B, a Somali of the Mahadi sub-clan of the Dir clan. "Request denied... try peaceful methods, and if they fail bring him to me," he sighed once more, cursing the day he had accepted this post. 'This is absurd...and they want self-government...if we gave Somalia self-government, then in twenty years everyone would be either dead, starving, or shooting each-other.' "Next!"

His secretary, Adid A-czthu... he had no idea how to pronounce it, nor did it matter... sent the next man in. 'Good man, Adid... Sab, rather than Samale...a reasonable man, someone to do business with.' Like most citizens of the Divine Imperium, he found nomads hard to work with. Thus, Sab citizens generally got placed in positions of strength, and their farms and businesses were protected from the rampaging foolishness of the Samale clans. "What's your problem...lad?" Radetsky asked, raising an eye at the young man before him.

The man drew a dagger, and charged. "ALLAH AKBAR!"

Radetsky blinked, giving a decent impression of a deer caught in headlights. Just for a second, because he rapidly spun out of the way and, as the assassin pushed past, gave him a sharp blow over the head with the flat of his hand. "Guards! Help!"

(More to come...)

Sorry, but I have to ask these two questions.

A.) Does this have anything to do with Harry Turtledove's World War books, and B.) What does Allahu Ackbar mean anyways?

ooc: Allahu Ackbar means Allah (or God) is great.

OOC: I'm afraid I don't understand A, WP.

IC:

Leodric cursed. "What do you mean, he won't talk! He tried to kill me!" The man wiped his brow. "...do you have any idea what Her Imperial Highness will do to me if I don't sort this out?"

The Legionnaire gave a sharp salute. "Sir, he keeps referring to infidels, polluting Somali lands..."

"Suppose that's us?" Radetsky asked, turning his head to the side.

"Oh, I shouldn't think so, sir."

"Yeah... I'll turn on the radio, this is..." he pressed the button, and stopped. It had been set to the local 'Islamic Information' Channel, and the announcer was speaking in a hurried voice in Arabic.

Radetsky's eyes narrowed as he heard, "and we have recieved this tape from an organisation calling itself the Somali Islamic Front, which has claimed to be working to drive the Divine Imperium from our lands..."

"Get me a transcript. And shut that station down. It seems suspect." The legionnaire saluted. Radetsky sighed, and thought to himself, '...I'm going to deal with this calmly and rationally. I will not kill people at random. I will not get angry...' "Oh, and on your way back, drop a word in the street that I'd like to see the Shiekhs of the tribes in my office."

Leodric's hands quivered as he examined the transcript. Not for the first time, and certainly not for the last, he wished that he had taken that job in Micronesia.

*Transcript of 'Terrorist' message, translated into Russian*
Translated by order of Leodric Radetsky, Imperial Governor of Somali, in the 12th year of the reign of Kaiserin Malissa Black of Novar Ohan
-------------------------------------
<Begin>

Unidentified Male Voice: In the name of God the Most High, the Merciful and Compassionate!

2nd unidentified voice: Allah Akbar! <Note: An imprecise translation
would be 'God is greater', but it holds connotations we can't quite translate>

First voice: Let it be known that the Islamic Front
has risen to do the work of God, and to drive out
or convert the Heathens of the North Pacific!
For every day the infidels stay in Somali, with
Allah's guidance we will kill a hundred of them.

O you who believe fear Allah, by doing all that
He has ordered and by abstaining from all that
He has forbidden as He should be feared.
Obey Him, be thankful to Him, and remember Him always,
and die not except in a state of Islam with
complete submission to Allah.

They that do not believe do not fear Allah, the most high.
They spurn us, and corrupt some of our number. This is not
Allah's will! Is it not said that, outside the forbidden months,
that we should drive against the infidel? The infidel does
include those which work for the infidel, aid the infidel in the
holy lands of the Muslim Empire. It is the work of the Crusaders and the
traitors that split that Empire, and keep it from uniting.

2nd voice: Thusly, we call upon all true members of the
Muslim faith to aid us in cleansing the Holy Empire of Islam,
cleansing it of the infidels and the traitors. Allah be willing,
we will carry the battle to the enemy's women and children.
Allah be willing, we will drive the infidels from not just this land,
but from all the lands of the Middle East.

1st voice: I, Shiekh Muhammad bin-Aliyah, issue a fatwa
to all true Muslims in the lands of the Samale tribes!
Drive the infidels, those who follow the firebird, from our midst!
Pursue them to their own lands, and destroy them there.
I declare Jihad!

<Translator's note: Jihad seems to be roughly
analogous with our concept of Crusade. We
have sent a copy to Caliph Aidid in Port Agua,
begging his assistance.>

2nd voice: Allah Akbar!

1st voice: Allah Akbar!

<End>
---------------

OOC:
"Allah akbar" means "God is Greater (than the enemy)"...actually a fairly incindiary call to religiously-based warfare. Is often mis-translated as "God is Great," by Western media outlets, as a christian minister or congregant might exclaim in praise of God...but it has quite a different meaning.

"allahu ackbar" means "God is Ackbar (fish dude from starwars)"

EDIT: the fellow following says it all better.

Allah Akbhar, not Allahu.. this infamous battle cry was first used by an egyptian general who fought against Israel.
He told his soldiers to yell "ALLAH AKBHAR" when assaulting the Israeli lines.
Little did he know how his battle cry will be used in the future.

OOC

Roania, you're back!
You're in my homeland, Australia? Yow ...

*tag* for Zedran meddling

Allah Akbhar, not Allahu.. this infamous battle cry was first used by an egyptian general who fought against Israel.
He told his soldiers to yell "ALLAH AKBHAR" when assaulting the Israeli lines.
Little did he know how his battle cry will be used in the future.

Allah Akbhar? God is Great? God = Stalin. Stalin is Great?

The Imperial Governor growled as he examined the transcript once more. Every time he thought about it, he just got angrier and angrier. "Heathen dogs... we bring this country out of clan warfare, and into the twentieth century, and this is what we get?" He threw it onto his desk. "I should have taken that post in Micronesia...hell, I should have taken that post in Madagascar!"

The Legionnaire made soothing noises. "Sir, I assure you this is the first time since the colony was founded that there has been the slightest noise of rebellion...the Imperial Maritime Provinces kept our soldiers so busy that we had to remain neutral in the War, remember? And Madagascar is full of primitives...might as well go to the '5th Duchy', yes?" As Radetsky winced, the Legionnaire continued with, "Don't worry...I'm sure this is a simple case of an uneducated minority following the capricious lies of a charismatic religious figure... shall I have my men hunt this 'Sheik bin-Aliyah' down and execute him for treason?"

"Oh, and give them a martyr?...humiliate him first, then execute him." The governor sighed, but looked up at an explosion. "What the hell?"

"Car backfiring, sir..." the Legionnaire walked to the window to close it, but stopped. "Sir...I think that you might want to call the press here and give some sort of statement..."

A fire was raging just in front of one of the city's churches.

(OOC: Actually Allahu Ackbar refers to one of the Mughal rulers, Ackbar the Great...)