Kara-Tur
29-07-2004, 06:09
Associated Press
There is a startling rumor spreading through the Empire of Kara-Tur. According to noted research scientist and geneticist Dr. Shaquille Bryant, a black box project codenamed "Operation: Panda Snipe" has been put into motion. The project, Bryant claims, would create an unknown number of human/red panda hybrids that would then be trained to become an ultra elite military unit.
"I know it sounds crazy," Bryant was quoted to say from his secret hideout in the neighboring nation of Foxxyness, "but I've seen the bodies of the failures. Twisted, scary things that make Cher and Michael Jackson look attractive. It's horrible."
Fang Ao Tian, Emperor of Kara-Tur, saw fit to personally comment on these accusations.
"Dr. Bryant couldn't be more wrong!" the Emperor told reporters from his beach house in southern Kara-Tur. "The red panda is a beautiful animal, and the implication that we would harm one . . . why, that infuriates me!"
The Emperor then paused to take a sip from his midori sour.
"Besides, Dr. Bryant's conspiracy theories further imply that we are dissatisfied with a portion of the current military. Nothing could be further from the truth! While we are always open to new ideas in the military, we refuse to disgrace ourselves by creating mutant snipers."
Emperor Tian further extended a personal invitation to Dr. Bryant to come back to Kara-Tur and resume his work for the government's military science division.
The red panda is, of course, the national animal of Kara-Tur. An annual celebration honoring the animal is held in the nation's capitol, and the red panda is known to be the best-selling Halloween costume for children ages 10 and under.
:sniper:
There is a startling rumor spreading through the Empire of Kara-Tur. According to noted research scientist and geneticist Dr. Shaquille Bryant, a black box project codenamed "Operation: Panda Snipe" has been put into motion. The project, Bryant claims, would create an unknown number of human/red panda hybrids that would then be trained to become an ultra elite military unit.
"I know it sounds crazy," Bryant was quoted to say from his secret hideout in the neighboring nation of Foxxyness, "but I've seen the bodies of the failures. Twisted, scary things that make Cher and Michael Jackson look attractive. It's horrible."
Fang Ao Tian, Emperor of Kara-Tur, saw fit to personally comment on these accusations.
"Dr. Bryant couldn't be more wrong!" the Emperor told reporters from his beach house in southern Kara-Tur. "The red panda is a beautiful animal, and the implication that we would harm one . . . why, that infuriates me!"
The Emperor then paused to take a sip from his midori sour.
"Besides, Dr. Bryant's conspiracy theories further imply that we are dissatisfied with a portion of the current military. Nothing could be further from the truth! While we are always open to new ideas in the military, we refuse to disgrace ourselves by creating mutant snipers."
Emperor Tian further extended a personal invitation to Dr. Bryant to come back to Kara-Tur and resume his work for the government's military science division.
The red panda is, of course, the national animal of Kara-Tur. An annual celebration honoring the animal is held in the nation's capitol, and the red panda is known to be the best-selling Halloween costume for children ages 10 and under.
:sniper: