Holy panooly
26-07-2004, 11:51
This is a story which happened a long time ago. In fact, it was so long ago that some people even start saying it never happened. There was a massive ethnic cleansing going on in Holy Panooly by the newly established fascist government which is still on control and 3 nations decided to invade me (Austar Union, Sarzonia and Axis Nova) their invasion failed due to a mysterious event. When troops of Austar Union landed in my capital Panooly City, it was deserted. Not a single human was alive, only the soldiers who went to defend it. But they also didn't know what happened to the 369.288 citizens of the relatively small capital. Rumours went back and forth about a gigantic undergroud tunnel system which allowed the government to escape along with the citizens. The tunnels were never found. Perhaps the people fled into the jungle? Impossible since no one has made it back alive to the city. These are only two of the many theories that go around in Holy Panooly about this most strange event.
It all came back to me when my father, Collin James Collin, died. He owned several large villas and a large piece of land. His grandfather bought the grounds in 1919 when Holy Panooly was a British colony. My great-grandfather was a passionate collector of antiquities. He claimed that he was a researcher of ancient civilizations but he was little more than a scoundrel, a grave robber who and his gang of thugs raided native villages for more gold and valueables.
When my father died I inherited everything the mad owned. Including some diaries of my great grandfather. Here are a few interesting fragments:
***
British Colony of Holy Panooly, May 6th 1921
An indeed another outstanding like I said yesterday. We have sold our loot for an amazing £1350! I can't tell anyone how pleased I am with this. We also found something I cannot quite explain. It's small black box, 4" width, 4" high and 4" long. I don't know what to do with it, the curator of the British Mueum in London doesn't want, a trinket he says. Ignorant fool, I know this is something which can give me a pretty penny. However, I am intrigued by the strange hieroglyphs which covers every side of it.
Paris, September 29th 1922
I know for a fact this is indeed the black box of the pyramids. Where all the knowledge is stored and it is within my grasp! I must find a safe place for this little goldmine since other treasure hunters are on my tail if they catch sight of me with it. I must seal my mouth, it speaks too much.
Paris, January 5th 1923
This could well be the last entry in my diary for I will depart this earth very soon. A strange illnes has taken my body and the docters can only guess what it is. Luckily I was just in time to hide the box deep within the bowels of the Panooly jungle. I hope my son shall continue my quest when I rejoice in the hereafter, or hell is a more fitting work being the wicked man I was during my life.
***
He was right, it was his last entry. My father was a mere penpusher in a bank who worked hard because of his wife who couldn't stand men who lived off a fortune of others. After his retirement he left in a hurry for the Panooly jungle where he spent the rest of his life finding the box his grandfather hid there. He died of malaria.
***
A few days later... Deep within the north-eastern Panooly Jungle
A group of 12 men was having a trek through the jungle looking for old artifacts to sell on the black market. No one knows exactly who lived in Holy Panooly before the British colonists came around 1750. It is believed the natives who still inhabit the jungles were the builders of the magnificent temples can bee seen to this day.
Damnit Paul don't walk so fast we can hardly keep up with ya!
Don't whine Josh, we're back home in 2 days... I'm glad when it's over all we found was a skeleton and a golden ring. You know many the Panooly Native Art Museum has? Millions of them George, millions.
Heh well I hope we can sell it to someone who's from the outside world. A civilized human. Being in this jungle for a month straight isn't good for me. Well said Josh. I think we all agree on that!
What the hell? Did you hear that?
Hear what?
Are you on crack again Paul?
On crack? Hell no come and see I think I've found something interesting.
If it's another skeleton I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm already pissed Josh, let's go home and check this out later.
Shut up George, maybe this tomb hasn't been opened yet!
Heh well we still have 3 days so men grab your crowbars we're gonna break it open!
Wait just a sec Paul, there's some writing carved in the stone... What does it say?
He who glares upon us as a mere mortal men, ye shall be destroyed if will not leave.
That doesn't sound good. Let's get the hell out of here.
Don't be so superstitious George, let's find out what's inside. I bet it's only some dull saying to keep graverobbers out.
Ya of course Paul let's open this blasted thing. Men get your gear we have found another tomb!
A loud sigh of relief was heard from the men who were tired of the long journey through the jungle. Some exitement at last.
Hey well come here then! Move it!
Don't be such a jerk to these people Josh.
Shut up George these people need to be whipped if you ask me.
Both of you stop bitching like angsty teenagers. We have work to do.
After 1 hour of trying to move the lid with crowbars and shovels the men realized this isn't the way to open it....
I saw we blast it away. We still have some dynamite if I'm not mistaken... Paul said.
But what if something happens to the treasures inside? George, worried as usual about the treasures was constantly at the brink of a nerve breakdown.
Don't worry George there's always a corridor filled with traps of death and destruction and sharp pointed sticks. Haven't you watched Indiana Jones when you were a kid?
Paul, don't mind him he was born as an adult now come here and help me with the fuse damnit I'm always the only one doing all the work around here.
When Josh and Paul were ready with placing the dynamite the fuse was lit and everyone sought a place to wait for the blast. The dynamite exploded, blasting the door away.
Goddamn that was some loud bang.
Paul, you wanted to use dynamite so shut up.
Yeah yeah George now let's go inside.
Wait you fool let some of the diggers Mr Rixx sent us go first.
Oh yeah good thinking George...
Two digger went down the stairs... They were terrified but nothing happened. It was dark, moist and a typical smell of old stones was everywhere.
Is it safe?
A vague "yes it is" could be heard in the distance.
Let's go inside I want to see what loot we may find.
Damn straight Paul. Everyone follow me Josh screamed to the diggers.
At the same time a phonecall was made to Solan Rixx' office, the governmental manager of ancient treasures and such. When he heard a new tomb was found in the area where the black box was hidden he immeadiately rushed over to investigate. When he saw the tomb, he knew in an instant that this was the place to be.
The door was made of concrete, the warning was a horrible copy of the real ancient writings and inside everything has already been looted. And Solan Rixx was right, a few hours later the little black box was recovered...
What shall we do with it... or what can we do with it?
George, let Mr Rixx handle it, he knows what to do.
Yeah ok Josh... Where's Paul by the way?
Leave him, I don't care about his guts.
Gentlemen, you know this is thé black box? A black metal, unknow on earth. The strange carvings... Yes this is it all right. I'm taking this to Panooly City to study it. Guards, pay them in full.
Yes sir.
Josh and George escorted to a river and 2 shots were heard. Only the guards came back to Mr Rixx.
Ah good job. Where is the third... Ah never mind let's go back to the chopper.
Aye sir.
Solan Rixx and his colleagues went to Panooly City where the fuhrer was waiting impatiently. An impending attack from Austar Union, the Sarzonian navy near our shores and Axis Nova somewhere in the jungle. While things didn't look grim, the fuhrer needed something to whipe our Austar Union once and for all.
A few days later the hieroglyphs were readable and it were clear instructions on how to use the device. It was some kind of machine which radiates energy which needed to activated by electricity or nuclear energy... Nuclear energy would be good. Yes, that will be used.
While the AU troops were boarding the transstars and the Sarzonian navy started coastal bombardment the device was placed on an altar. It was plugged to a nearby nuclear powerplant. When the connection was made, the device started, strangely enough, hovering. Only 1 inch above the altar. The people stared at it... And slowly the voltage was increased. At 300.000 volt and 1200 Amps the device started to glow white... then black. It was fluctuating. This continued for more than 4 hours. This was the right voltage, at least that's what the people thought.
The roaring of engines was heard above the city. The invasion was near and in the blink of an eye, the nuclear powerstation upped the voltage, mysteriously enough to 1 million. When this happened there was a split second where everyone could see a strange nether dark plane of reality. While completely void it was almost if you could hear time running forward or backwards. It was impossible to tell. Then everybody realized their life was over.
The government had already abandoned the city. Cowards they were but they escaped with their skin.
***
How how do I know this? Everybody died that day in Panooly City. Well, that's something only my father knows.
It all came back to me when my father, Collin James Collin, died. He owned several large villas and a large piece of land. His grandfather bought the grounds in 1919 when Holy Panooly was a British colony. My great-grandfather was a passionate collector of antiquities. He claimed that he was a researcher of ancient civilizations but he was little more than a scoundrel, a grave robber who and his gang of thugs raided native villages for more gold and valueables.
When my father died I inherited everything the mad owned. Including some diaries of my great grandfather. Here are a few interesting fragments:
***
British Colony of Holy Panooly, May 6th 1921
An indeed another outstanding like I said yesterday. We have sold our loot for an amazing £1350! I can't tell anyone how pleased I am with this. We also found something I cannot quite explain. It's small black box, 4" width, 4" high and 4" long. I don't know what to do with it, the curator of the British Mueum in London doesn't want, a trinket he says. Ignorant fool, I know this is something which can give me a pretty penny. However, I am intrigued by the strange hieroglyphs which covers every side of it.
Paris, September 29th 1922
I know for a fact this is indeed the black box of the pyramids. Where all the knowledge is stored and it is within my grasp! I must find a safe place for this little goldmine since other treasure hunters are on my tail if they catch sight of me with it. I must seal my mouth, it speaks too much.
Paris, January 5th 1923
This could well be the last entry in my diary for I will depart this earth very soon. A strange illnes has taken my body and the docters can only guess what it is. Luckily I was just in time to hide the box deep within the bowels of the Panooly jungle. I hope my son shall continue my quest when I rejoice in the hereafter, or hell is a more fitting work being the wicked man I was during my life.
***
He was right, it was his last entry. My father was a mere penpusher in a bank who worked hard because of his wife who couldn't stand men who lived off a fortune of others. After his retirement he left in a hurry for the Panooly jungle where he spent the rest of his life finding the box his grandfather hid there. He died of malaria.
***
A few days later... Deep within the north-eastern Panooly Jungle
A group of 12 men was having a trek through the jungle looking for old artifacts to sell on the black market. No one knows exactly who lived in Holy Panooly before the British colonists came around 1750. It is believed the natives who still inhabit the jungles were the builders of the magnificent temples can bee seen to this day.
Damnit Paul don't walk so fast we can hardly keep up with ya!
Don't whine Josh, we're back home in 2 days... I'm glad when it's over all we found was a skeleton and a golden ring. You know many the Panooly Native Art Museum has? Millions of them George, millions.
Heh well I hope we can sell it to someone who's from the outside world. A civilized human. Being in this jungle for a month straight isn't good for me. Well said Josh. I think we all agree on that!
What the hell? Did you hear that?
Hear what?
Are you on crack again Paul?
On crack? Hell no come and see I think I've found something interesting.
If it's another skeleton I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm already pissed Josh, let's go home and check this out later.
Shut up George, maybe this tomb hasn't been opened yet!
Heh well we still have 3 days so men grab your crowbars we're gonna break it open!
Wait just a sec Paul, there's some writing carved in the stone... What does it say?
He who glares upon us as a mere mortal men, ye shall be destroyed if will not leave.
That doesn't sound good. Let's get the hell out of here.
Don't be so superstitious George, let's find out what's inside. I bet it's only some dull saying to keep graverobbers out.
Ya of course Paul let's open this blasted thing. Men get your gear we have found another tomb!
A loud sigh of relief was heard from the men who were tired of the long journey through the jungle. Some exitement at last.
Hey well come here then! Move it!
Don't be such a jerk to these people Josh.
Shut up George these people need to be whipped if you ask me.
Both of you stop bitching like angsty teenagers. We have work to do.
After 1 hour of trying to move the lid with crowbars and shovels the men realized this isn't the way to open it....
I saw we blast it away. We still have some dynamite if I'm not mistaken... Paul said.
But what if something happens to the treasures inside? George, worried as usual about the treasures was constantly at the brink of a nerve breakdown.
Don't worry George there's always a corridor filled with traps of death and destruction and sharp pointed sticks. Haven't you watched Indiana Jones when you were a kid?
Paul, don't mind him he was born as an adult now come here and help me with the fuse damnit I'm always the only one doing all the work around here.
When Josh and Paul were ready with placing the dynamite the fuse was lit and everyone sought a place to wait for the blast. The dynamite exploded, blasting the door away.
Goddamn that was some loud bang.
Paul, you wanted to use dynamite so shut up.
Yeah yeah George now let's go inside.
Wait you fool let some of the diggers Mr Rixx sent us go first.
Oh yeah good thinking George...
Two digger went down the stairs... They were terrified but nothing happened. It was dark, moist and a typical smell of old stones was everywhere.
Is it safe?
A vague "yes it is" could be heard in the distance.
Let's go inside I want to see what loot we may find.
Damn straight Paul. Everyone follow me Josh screamed to the diggers.
At the same time a phonecall was made to Solan Rixx' office, the governmental manager of ancient treasures and such. When he heard a new tomb was found in the area where the black box was hidden he immeadiately rushed over to investigate. When he saw the tomb, he knew in an instant that this was the place to be.
The door was made of concrete, the warning was a horrible copy of the real ancient writings and inside everything has already been looted. And Solan Rixx was right, a few hours later the little black box was recovered...
What shall we do with it... or what can we do with it?
George, let Mr Rixx handle it, he knows what to do.
Yeah ok Josh... Where's Paul by the way?
Leave him, I don't care about his guts.
Gentlemen, you know this is thé black box? A black metal, unknow on earth. The strange carvings... Yes this is it all right. I'm taking this to Panooly City to study it. Guards, pay them in full.
Yes sir.
Josh and George escorted to a river and 2 shots were heard. Only the guards came back to Mr Rixx.
Ah good job. Where is the third... Ah never mind let's go back to the chopper.
Aye sir.
Solan Rixx and his colleagues went to Panooly City where the fuhrer was waiting impatiently. An impending attack from Austar Union, the Sarzonian navy near our shores and Axis Nova somewhere in the jungle. While things didn't look grim, the fuhrer needed something to whipe our Austar Union once and for all.
A few days later the hieroglyphs were readable and it were clear instructions on how to use the device. It was some kind of machine which radiates energy which needed to activated by electricity or nuclear energy... Nuclear energy would be good. Yes, that will be used.
While the AU troops were boarding the transstars and the Sarzonian navy started coastal bombardment the device was placed on an altar. It was plugged to a nearby nuclear powerplant. When the connection was made, the device started, strangely enough, hovering. Only 1 inch above the altar. The people stared at it... And slowly the voltage was increased. At 300.000 volt and 1200 Amps the device started to glow white... then black. It was fluctuating. This continued for more than 4 hours. This was the right voltage, at least that's what the people thought.
The roaring of engines was heard above the city. The invasion was near and in the blink of an eye, the nuclear powerstation upped the voltage, mysteriously enough to 1 million. When this happened there was a split second where everyone could see a strange nether dark plane of reality. While completely void it was almost if you could hear time running forward or backwards. It was impossible to tell. Then everybody realized their life was over.
The government had already abandoned the city. Cowards they were but they escaped with their skin.
***
How how do I know this? Everybody died that day in Panooly City. Well, that's something only my father knows.