NationStates Jolt Archive

Cramming Them In - Overcrowding problem

Foe Hammer
22-06-2004, 05:52
-+Hammerian Broadcast Corporation Newscast+-
-Dated 6/21/2789-
As the national birth rate soars, and the death rate drops, Foe Hammer is faced with a major overcrowding problem.

"It's horrendous what I have to go through on the subway! Low-lives and hookers and random middle-class persons," rambles Billy Franksworth, a local executive. "Why should I be forced to see untucked shirts and thin wallets when my Mercedes-Benz breaks down? And why should I be limited to only 14 acres on which to build my mansion? The overcrowding of Foe Hammer poses a threat to the average White-collar citizen! I need space to park my fourteen cars and my stretch limos, and I'll be damned if the middle class Suburban families, and their John Deere mowers, and their functional family units are going to stop my self-indulgence!"

As the economy continues to skyrocket, more citizens find it necessary to build larger houses.

"How can I land this 356-yard drive with all these houses in the way?" complains avid golfer Chuck Applebottom, owner of the fifth largest golf course in Foe Hammer. "The pseudo-upper-middle-class working man deserves a golf course or two, no matter how many homeless persons it leaves out in the cold. I mean, it's not MY fault. I didn't build this golf course here! ...Err... shut up!"

With homelessness a neverending issue, the government has done everything in it's power to handle this problem.

"We've offered tax cuts to High-rise tenants. We've attempted to enact residential zone sizing laws. We've turned entire Megamalls into Living Centers For The Financially Unfortunate. I give up," sighs Social Services director Allen Ramsby. "This is getting ridiculous. We can either promote suicide, or seek out a new planet to cover with Minivans, Strip malls and Reality TV."

Exploratory fleets of the Armada of the Space Empire of Foe Hammer are frantically searching for a new inhabitable planet to colonize.
22-06-2004, 06:21
"We at Ageaol have currently discovered a new solar system with a yellow dwarf, 4 inhabitable planets, and 2 terraformable planets. We offer you the 2 terraformable planets and even unlimited access to floating asteroids in the asteroid belt. The two terraformable planets are outside the asteroid belt and the Ageaolian planets are inside so we must order you not to enter the inner part of the system. In exchange for these planets, we require a simple tribute of silicon, platinum, and tin. Approximately 2 tons of each per colony every half year.
Aoalgeg, Top Representative of the Department of Lands
Foe Hammer
22-06-2004, 06:28
Official Response from the Empress herself:

"No thanks, bud. We can manage."
22-06-2004, 06:57
Aoalgeg replies with contempt
"Tell that to your 20% population increase and your need for about 250 billion more acres of land."
Foe Hammer
22-06-2004, 08:06

"Well, considering that we've amassed quite possibly the largest, both in ship size and number, Space force in the NationStates universe, we could just take that system from you for free. Besides, how does such a young nation have the power to inhabit more than one planet?"