Independent Kiama
18-06-2004, 05:11
"The lesbian is on the brink of extinction, largely due to people hunting them down for tasty lesbian-kahbobs and lesbianburgers, and as ecological disaster looms, various factions are all calling for what they feel should be done about the lesbian."
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The debate.
1. "This is an outrage!", shouts Billy-Bob Wu, outspoken member of the Independent Kiama Wilderness Protection Movement. "The government has to put a stop to the out of control hunting of our beloved lesbians. Do you want our children and grandchildren to miss witnessing the spectacle of wild lesbians prancing freely in our forests?"
2. "Who cares what happens to some dumb wild pest?", scoffs Charles Jefferson, employee of Independent Kiama National Lumber, "If they're endangered it's 'cause they were too weak to adapt. They probably deserve to be killed off. With them out of the way, we could clearcut the forests lesbians like to hide in, which would really boost the economy through the timber industry!"
3. "Nature is hardly a black and white issue." Peggy Longbottom, a respected scholar notes. "We should start a breeding program to help these creatures recover their numbers. We can display them in captivity, and gradually release them into the wild. Couple it with limiting, but not abolishing lesbian hunting, and everyone benefits. Of course, lesbians raised in captivity don't generally survive in the wild, but I'm sure we can find a way!"
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I think its quite clear what needs to be done.
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The debate.
1. "This is an outrage!", shouts Billy-Bob Wu, outspoken member of the Independent Kiama Wilderness Protection Movement. "The government has to put a stop to the out of control hunting of our beloved lesbians. Do you want our children and grandchildren to miss witnessing the spectacle of wild lesbians prancing freely in our forests?"
2. "Who cares what happens to some dumb wild pest?", scoffs Charles Jefferson, employee of Independent Kiama National Lumber, "If they're endangered it's 'cause they were too weak to adapt. They probably deserve to be killed off. With them out of the way, we could clearcut the forests lesbians like to hide in, which would really boost the economy through the timber industry!"
3. "Nature is hardly a black and white issue." Peggy Longbottom, a respected scholar notes. "We should start a breeding program to help these creatures recover their numbers. We can display them in captivity, and gradually release them into the wild. Couple it with limiting, but not abolishing lesbian hunting, and everyone benefits. Of course, lesbians raised in captivity don't generally survive in the wild, but I'm sure we can find a way!"
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I think its quite clear what needs to be done.