Foe Hammer institutes new unit of measurement
Foe Hammer
13-06-2004, 23:51
In a press conference this morning, Empress Nordlund announced the intent to recognize a new unit of weight measurement among Foe Hammer and the citizens.
This new unit, commonly referred to as the f*ckton, will be used in both Metric and Imperial form. The Metric F*ckton carries an approximate value of 10 Buttloads (320 Metric tons). The Imperial F*ckton (Otherwise referred to as F*ckton) maintains a steady value of 10 Helluvalots (235.8 Tons)
And, in the end, it's all very confusing, and we don't have the slightest clue as to what drove us to institute this system.
Foe Hammer
14-06-2004, 05:38
Oh, COME ON, this is good shit!
I'm not surprised that more people respond to "OMG I N00K TEH WORLD N U R DAED!!!1!!1!11!".
Reploid Productions
14-06-2004, 05:51
Might we suggest future expansions to this measurement system? Metric Gigaf*cktons, teraf*cktons...
((OOC: This is funny stuff =p ))
http://www.fumetsu.net/timeline.jpg
Glorious Humanity
14-06-2004, 06:07
Also, for more precise measurements, consider including the holy f*ckton, the serious f*ckton, the casual f*ckton, the we-are-so f*ckton, and the good f*ckton.
More as I think of them.
And then there's the Giganometric F*ckton.
Foe Hammer
15-06-2004, 06:03
These are all being taken into consideration. Don't forget the What-the-f*ckton.
GMC Military Arms
15-06-2004, 06:40
Imperial measurements are supposed to be bigger than metric ones, so this scale is clearly ass-backwards.
[This is also why England [measured in miles] is bigger than Germany [measured in kilometers], because miles are bigger than kilometers]
How about the Shutthef*cktonup?
Western Asia
15-06-2004, 06:43
Western Asian scientists are curious about the implications of these "metric f*cktons" in relation to the previously-described "Ass Space" and whether the "Ass Space" has a "Metric F*ckton"-based load capacity, in light of the general seeming impossibilities that both the new measurement and the aforementioned theoretical space allows.
OOC: Nice stuff F-H...best since "ass space"
The Water Cooler
15-06-2004, 06:54
The HEWC officially and totally eschews all units of measurement that contain a ‘star’ (*) character.
Western Asia
15-06-2004, 07:35
The HEWC officially and totally eschews all units of measurement that contain a ‘star’ (*) character.
The USWA officially and totally eschews all nations that officially and totally eschew all units of measurement that contain a ‘star’ (*) character.
The Most Glorious Hack
15-06-2004, 08:03
The HEWC officially and totally eschews all units of measurement that contain a ‘star’ (*) character.
The USWA officially and totally eschews all nations that officially and totally eschew all units of measurement that contain a ‘star’ (*) character.
The Hack officially and totally eschews all nations who refer to the asterisk as a 'star', regardless of their eschewing or noneschewing of units of measurement containing said asterisk.
Liverpool England
15-06-2004, 08:09
Liverpool England recognises the units introduced by foe Hammer, and wish them the best in getting their citizens to use it.
GMC Military Arms
15-06-2004, 08:11
The HEWC officially and totally eschews all units of measurement that contain a ‘star’ (*) character.
The USWA officially and totally eschews all nations that officially and totally eschew all units of measurement that contain a ‘star’ (*) character.
...Those responsible for shooting the people who have just been shot, have been shot.
Kotterdam
15-06-2004, 08:49
The Dominion also recognizes the f*ckton, and furthermore suggests a few specialized units: The Oh-F*ckton, a unit of measurement intended to quantify the mass of anvils, large rocks, or any other object about to land on one's head, as well as the Goatf*ckton, intended to measure the mass of any ill-designed object.
[This is also why England [measured in miles] is bigger than Germany [measured in kilometers], because miles are bigger than kilometers]
(OOC: Isn't true! If you do a direct conversion without considering the fact that a mile is about 1,6 kilometers, Germany is bigger by far, exactly because kilometers are smaller than miles. Look at the numbers, Germany gets 1,6 more every time when Britain gets just *1*! So, lessay you have to walk 10 miles from place to place. You gotta walk 16 kilometers to do that in the metric system! The number's BIGGER and thusly looks COOLER!111 THE UNSTANDARDIZED (EVIL) IMPERIAL SYSTEM LOSES AND THE METRIC SYSTEM WINS!111 In kilometers, any distance looks MUCH LARGER than it does in miles!
HA HA HA!)
GMC Military Arms
15-06-2004, 11:28
[This is also why England [measured in miles] is bigger than Germany [measured in kilometers], because miles are bigger than kilometers]
(OOC: Isn't true! If you do a direct conversion without considering the fact that a mile is about 1,6 kilometers, Germany is bigger by far, exactly because kilometers are smaller than miles. Look at the numbers, Germany gets 1,6 more every time when Britain gets just *1*! So, lessay you have to walk 10 miles from place to place. You gotta walk 16 kilometers to do that in the metric system! The number's BIGGER and thusly looks COOLER!111 THE UNSTANDARDIZED (EVIL) IMPERIAL SYSTEM LOSES AND THE METRIC SYSTEM WINS!111 In kilometers, any distance looks MUCH LARGER than it does in miles!
HA HA HA!)
Nwa, I DEC CLARE WOR ON YUO. And since I'm measuring everything in inches, you lose because none of your metric-measured bullets will fit into the chambers of your guns which I've measured in inches! Ahahahahahaha!
Also, the measurements are bigger because if your measure something with something bigger the residual quantum bigness rubs off on it. Ask any scientician.
Nwa, I DEC CLARE WOR ON YUO. And since I'm measuring everything in inches, you lose because none of your metric-measured bullets will fit into the chambers of your guns which I've measured in inches! Ahahahahahaha!
(OOC: HA HA HA USUCK I measured everythign in CENTIMETERS! Which are SMALLER than your homoghey INCHES! So your IMPERIALISTIC-measured bullets won't fit into the chambers of YOUR guns which *I* have measured in CENTIMETERS!!! Ha ha, YUO STILL LOSE!!!)
Also, the measurements are bigger because if your measure something with something bigger the residual quantum bigness rubs off on it. Ask any scientician.
(OOC: Yoor own residual quasibigness is so small that usuck!11 Ha ha!11 Ask any scientific erotician!87428424343292u34987)
GMC Military Arms
15-06-2004, 11:58
Nwa, you fell into my OMFG TRAP! Now I will measure everything in PARSECS to confound your silly CENTIMETRES! ALL SHALL KNOW ME AND DESPAIR! AHAHAHAHAHAH!
And we shall learn to love placing about fifteen zeroes before just about anything, you'll see!
Nwa, you fell into my OMFG TRAP! Now I will measure everything in PARSECS to confound your silly CENTIMETRES! ALL SHALL KNOW ME AND DESPAIR! AHAHAHAHAHAH!
(OOC: HA HA USUCK! I COUNTER YOUR PUNY PARSECS WITH YOTTAMETER, WHICH BY FAR EXCEEDS ANY DAMN PARSECS! One yottameter is equal to 105700000 light-years or 32408000 parsecs! Take that! You'll never beat that!)
Western Asia
17-06-2004, 04:40
The HEWC officially and totally eschews all units of measurement that contain a ‘star’ (*) character.
The USWA officially and totally eschews all nations that officially and totally eschew all units of measurement that contain a ‘star’ (*) character.
...Those responsible for shooting the people who have just been shot, have been shot.
...The directors of the firm hired to
continue the shootings after the other
people had been shot, wish it to
be known that they have just been
shot.
The shootings have been completed
in an entirely different style at
great expense and at the last
minute....
Scolopendra
17-06-2004, 05:47
Interesting, taking credit for things I've seen elsewhere... still, the last shipment of seventeen metric f*cktons was short three ass-loads and there could be some Alternate Situational Sub-space involved. Why oh why do I still do the books for these people...
...They've no idea how much trouble I save them...
http://www.weirdozone.0catch.com/projects/nationstates/scolopendra/laura_kelvan.gifCivil Servant Laura Kelvan
Paperpusher Queen
Federated Segments of Scolopendra
BLARGistania
17-06-2004, 05:49
uberf*ckton.
it had to be added
The Water Cooler
17-06-2004, 07:09
The HEWC officially and totally eschews all units of measurement that contain a ‘star’ (*) character.
The USWA officially and totally eschews all nations that officially and totally eschew all units of measurement that contain a ‘star’ (*) character.
The Hack officially and totally eschews all nations who refer to the asterisk as a 'star', regardless of their eschewing or noneschewing of units of measurement containing said asterisk.
At the time, star seemed easier to spell then 'asterisk'.
:)
The Most Glorious Hack
17-06-2004, 14:12
http://www.damnedgames.com/ProductImages/eschew.gif
Foe Hammer
18-06-2004, 06:19
*Cough*
What a waste of brain cells.
Well it seems I and two cockroaches on crack are the last intellegent forms of life left in this place. Oh, well good luck with the new system.