NationStates Jolt Archive

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WORLD CUP XV RP THREAD

Ahhhhhhhhh! It's not True, a Hardline Commie is hostin the WC!!! No000ooZ0000rrr!

Links:

Pre-World Cup XV RP Thread (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=149380)
World Cup XV Scores (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3239671)
World Cup XV Rosters (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3239679)
World Cup XV Signups (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=141059&highlight=)
Big Book of World Cup Rules (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=138502&highlight=)
World Cup Reference Book (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=140812&highlight=)
The NSCW (footie) Link Page (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=137884&highlight=)

Eauz Stadiums:
http://www.angelfire.com/co4/eauz/std-eauz.html

The Eagles Nest Stadiums:
http://www.angelfire.com/co4/eauz/std-ten.html

Le LIBRE

World Cup XV Information

The world has seen a spectre in Eauz take victory in the 13th world cup, and this victory brought about a stronger well known team in Eauz. Eauz along side The Eagles Nest will be hosting the 15th World Cup.

*Well, I have had a few people asking me about the fixtures, and at first I was like... What are you talking about, but now have figured it out... So this request goes out to Melmond:

[code:1:56815d937c]
Match Day 1: 1 v 10 | 2 v 9 | 3 v 8 | 4 v 7 | 5 v 6
Match Day 2: 10 v 6 | 7 v 5 | 8 v 4 | 9 v 3 | 1 v 2
Match Day 3: 2 v 10 | 3 v 1 | 4 v 9 | 5 v 8 | 6 v 7
Match Day 4: 10 v 7 | 8 v 6, | 9 v 5 | 1 v 4 | 2 v 3
Match Day 5: 3 v 10 | 4 v 2 | 5 v 1 | 6 v 9 | 7 v 8
Match Day 6: 10 v 8 | 9 v 7 | 1 v 6 | 2 v 5 | 3 v 4
Match Day 7: 4 v 10 | 5 v 3, | 6 v 2 | 7 v 1 | 8 v 9
Match Day 8: 10 v 9 | 1 v 8 | 2 v 7 | 3 v 6 | 4 v 5
Match Day 9: 5 v 10 | 6 v 4 | 7 v 3 | 8 v 2 | 9 v 1
[/code:1:56815d937c]

And your local commie reminds you that for matches 10-18, one needs to just reverse the numbers.

All Home matches are the first numbers and Away are the 2nd numbers.

Example: 1 v. 10. <----- meaning Team 1 is the home Team and team 10 is the visitor. For Match Day 10, that match would read 10 v. 1, meaning 10 would be the home team and 1 would be the visitor.

Group 1:

Bedistan (8 )
One Red Dot (22)
The Lowland Clans (24)
Aquilla (42)
Grand Master Mark (52)
Turori (115)
Foggymushmush (200)
Crabec (200)
TripB (200)
Ktony (200)

Group 2:
Oglethorpia (6)
Gesamtkuntswerk (20)
Dennisov (25)
Lovebug (37)
Tadjikistan (56)
Larkinia (110)
Krytenia (121)
Slaikau (200)
Artoonia (200)
Rampagonia (200)

Group 3:
Audioslavia (5)
Commerce Heights (23)
Jeruselem (31)
Creedence Clearwater (43)
Raptor Claw (68 )
Ineptia (97)
Kipto-Mare (168)
Boscioto (200)
Sportonia (200)
Isles of Wohlstand (200)

Group 4:
Rejistania (3)
Liverpool England (21)
Iansisle (34)
Mattigool (36)
The Redavic Union (59)
The Evil Umpire (110)
Calientia (156)
The Gulf States (200)
Jaodom (200)
Tim Jenkins Europro (200)

Group 5:
Tanah Burung (4)
Halfassedstates (16)
Kaze Progressa (28 )
Nikea (44)
The Republican Army (58 )
Lallania (108)
Haperd (184)
Sprotbot (200)
Daekerius (200)
Qia (200)

Group 6:
Snub Nose 38 (12)
Giant Zucchini (18 )
Squornshelous (27)
EL CID THE HERO (47)
Crystilakere (61)
Oaker (107)
Ascensia (125)
Balti Pie (200)
Rot-Gelb-Grun (200)
Progressive Beans (200)

Group 7:
Total n Utter Insanity (7)
Spaam (13)
Oddslavo (31)
The Weegies (39)
NASTIC 2 (53)
Oceaice (86)
Morriganavia (125)
Kaufmanstad (200)
Kodia (200)
Baureus (200)

Group 8:
Lemmitania (10)
Svecia (17)
Dance 2 Revolution (30)
Vilita (38 )
Wella (54)
Avenging Altos (70)
Starblaydia (116)
Grays Harbor (200)
he East Asian Empire (200)
Bakinhale (200)

Group 9:
Kingsford (1)
Cockbill Street (15)
The Belmore Family (29)
Lovisa (49)
Magnus Valerius (57)
Shang-ti (77)
Resistencia (171)
Rukbat al Rami (200)
KT MPLG (200)
Tasty Toast (200)

Group 10:
Brazillico (9)
Europa Brittania (14)
NEWI Cefn Druids (35)
Melmond (48 )
Intelligent Madness (66)
Turnia (76)
Lykaia (184)
Coruna (200)
The Home Islands (200)
Everybody Dies (200)

The Bedistan Sports Digest

World Cup XV To Begin Soon
Lions in eleventh attempt to lift the evasive Cup

ZUKA, Eauz -- Well, the draws have been made for the qualifying stage of this year's World Cup, and for the first time that we can recall, the Bedistan Lions have been placed in Group One. Group One looks something like this:

Group 1
Bedistan [8]
One Red Dot [22]
The Lowland Clans [24]
Aquilla [42]
Grand Master Mark [52]
Turori [115]
Foggymushmush*
Crabec*
TripB*
Ktony*

* Team participating in its first World Cup qualifying round

The Lions' management has refused to make any speculation regarding the strength of the group, and neither shall we. Doing that royally backfired on us back in World Cup X with regard to New Montreal States, and we'll not risk having that happen again.

We will provide more information as it comes.

The Brazillico Advance

Group 10 gives flashes of Deja Vu
Brazillico will face familiar foes on the road to qualification

By Jake Tartare

When the draw came out for this leg of qualification, El Presidente Luis de los Ronaldo thought to himself, "Holy shit, that looks a lot like last time's group." Now while some of them might have added or lessened some of the profanity, that was pretty much a common response to Brazillico being drawn into Group 10 yet again.

Europa Britannia and Melmond both played Brazillico on the road to qualification last time, consequently, both sides were in Group 10. Brazillico are also quite familiar with the NEWI Cefn Druids, who at one time were perennial whipping boys in the Harmony Cup for the Chili Bats.

The other teams are pretty much unknowns, and we don't know too much about them. The Chili Bats can't look past them however, which is a danger considering their superb string of success when it comes to lambasting teams ranked lower than them.

Pretty much all the experts are predicting Brazillico and Europa Britannia to snatch qualifying spots, with the most interesting battle being the one to see which bridesmaid can stick their foot in the door and get the third spot. Here's how the Advance ranks these teams.

Predicted Finishing Order
1. Europa Brittania
2. Brazillico*
3. NEWI Cefn Druids
4. Melmond
5. Turnia
6. Intelligent Madness
7. Coruna
8. Lykaia
9. The Home Islands
10. Everybody Dies

*With regards to tradition, we are only at liberty to predict Brazillico to finish second. Of course, we all know they'll finish first, but do to a certain jinx following teams who think they'll breeze through the group, we'll play this one on the safe side. :wink:

......GrouP [8]......

Team Profiles & Projected Finishing Postions:
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

1>http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/svecia.jpg Svecia
. . Left-Leaning College State - - 2.5+ Billion -- Major Industry: Information Technology . .
Svecia is a nation surrounded with much controversy prior to the World Cup 15 Qualifiers. The large nation, of population over 2.6 billion at last count, was apparantly unable to find enough personelle to ensure that their signup papers for the qualifiers were so much as filled out and delivered on time. However, due to their KPB rank and knowledge of people in the system, Svecia was admitted at the expensive of a small, cheerful colony. It is only fitting, but not just, that Svecia will finish atop of Group 8.
2>http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/qatar--54.jpg Lemmitania :: [Roster] (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3281231#3281231) ::
. . Left-Leaning College State - - 2.5+ Billion -- Major Industry: Book Publishing . .
Lemmitania is the highest ranked team, and only top-10 Ranked team in the group. Another large nation, the 2.5 billion residents of Lemmitania are sure to be supporting their team after some dissapointing results in recent history.
3>http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/vilita.jpg Vilita :: [Roster] (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3241570#3241570) :: [Stadiums] (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3274176#32) ::
. . Inoffensive Centrist Democracy - - 550+ Million -- Major Industry: Information Technology . .
Santo Kecker will again lead the Jungle Cats in their quest for World Cup qualification. The squad has yet to be finalized, but Under-21 Starlets Umberto Melli and Serge DuPont are making tough pickings in the replacement of the retiring Baron O'toole in the final 23. Helmut Vilkaus will again lead from the sidelines and Massimo Corsi is expected to retain his position in Net.
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

4>http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/south_korea.jpg Dance 2 Revolution
. . Civil Rights Lovefest - - 850+ Million -- Major Industry: Gambling . .
Dance 2 Revolution is the only team in the group that Vilita has faced before in competition. In fact, It was in the Jungle Cats first ever competion, the World Cup XIII Qualifiers. Of course Jungle Cat fans will be looking to get the upper hand this time around by ousting D2R to the final qualifying spot into the World Cup 15 Finals.
5>http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/starblaydia.jpg Starblaydia :: [Roster] (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3242242#3242242) :: [Stadiums] (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3267540#32) ::
. . Compulsory Consumerist State - - 300+ Million -- Major Industry: Automobile Manufacturing . .
While the Jungle Cats have never faced Starblaydia on this level before, most Vilitans will be familiar with their name. Jungle Cat Midfielder Jurgen Ramzi is also a competitior in the NationStates Formula One Championship, for the 3wide.com Vilita F1 team, which also competes against a team from Starblaydia. While the Blades are expected to be a strong challenge and may cause some upsets, they are not expected to qualify from this group
6>http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/wella.jpg Wella
Wella are undoubtebly the largest nation in the group, with a population approaching 3 Billion. However, their sport has taken a recent decline. A once notable force in the sporting world, Wellans have lost a bit of their competitive edge and do not look set to get it back anytime soon.
7>http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/thailand.jpg Avenging Altos
. . Scandinavian Liberal Paradise - - 1.0+ Billion -- Major Industry: Book Publishing . .
The Avenging Altos are recently celebrating the passage of 1.0 Billion in their population. It is believed that the Nationwide Celebrations may affect their early form, However they could be darkhorse candidates for a late surge into the top half of the group.
8>http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/grays_harbor.jpg Grays Harbor
Grays Harbor joins Ineptia on the short, but existant list of Nations from the Heartland Region who have been drawn against the Jungle Cats in their inagural qualifying attempt. Grays are another massive nation, however their Football Association is just devloping. It is not believed they will pose any threat to the top teams in the group, but seem to be the best fit of the 3 unranked teams.
9>http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/bakinhale.jpg Bakinhale
. . Corrupt Dictatorship - - 150+ Million -- Major Industry: Automobile Manufacturing . .
Bakinhale is a small, corrupt nation, with a new, oppressive government. The Football team is run by the military, however their skill level is questionable due to the complete lack of quality pitches in the country.
10>http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/default.jpg ????????
VOIA Intelligence has yet to come up with ANY information on the nation known as 'he East Asian Empire (200)'. While agents will continue to search for at least a clue that the nation so much as exists, we can only assume that such a nation would not be able to properly compete against the more globally active nations in group 8.


http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/sched.gif
M01:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Starblaydia
M02:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Grays Harbor <-
M03:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] ????????
M04:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Lemmitania <-
M05:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Svecia
M06:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Dance 2 Revolution <-
M07:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Bakinhale
M08:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Wella
M09:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Avenging Altos <-
M10:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Starblaydia <-
M11:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Grays Harbor
M12:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] ???????? <-
M13:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Lemmitania
M14:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Svecia <-
M15:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Dance 2 Revolution
M16:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Bakinhale <-
M17:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Wella <-
M18:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Avenging Altos


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Opponents known

Group 2:
Oglethorpia (6)
Gesamtkuntswerk (20)
Dennisov (25)
Lovebug (37)
Tadjikistan (56)
Larkinia (110)
Krytenia (121)
Slaikau (200)
Artoonia (200)
Rampagonia (200)

So Tadjikistan has been placed in group 2, a difficult group of us. the only team that has ever played against Tadjikistan is Dennisov and the results were not good. Other opponents like Oglethorpia and Gesamtkuntswerk are very good teams. Three teams participate for a first time; Slaikau, Artoonia and Rampagonia, they are the easiest opponents followed by Krytenia. Yes indeed Tadjikistan will have a hard task qualifying, or finnishing as high as we can. Coach Triandafillov thinks a fourth or third place to be among the possibilities. He also expects to see Lovebug finnish high.

Turnia City Tribune

World Cup XV Preview
Max Riodondo

After losing in the quarter-finals to Vilita in the Cup of Harmony, the National team looks to regroup and begin preperations for WCXV qualifiers. The 76th ranked Dragons are in Group 10 this time around and the draw looks this way:

Group 10:
Brazillico (9)
Europa Brittania (14)
NEWI Cefn Druids (35)
Melmond (48 )
Intelligent Madness (66)
Turnia (76)
Lykaia (184)
Coruna (200)
The Home Islands (200)
Everybody Dies (200)

Not much is known about the bottom four of the group, but as the Dragons proved in WCXIV, even the lower ranks can finish higher in a Group than expected, and others have even qualified. Brazillico is the odds on favorite to win the Group and Europa, NWEI Cefn and Melmond are strong and well-rounded teams. As it looks on paper, hopefully Turnia can leap-frog a few and advance in only their second go.

Everything shapes up to be an exciting Cup qualifier. Local polls show that the national populace has great faith in their team and believe the Dragons have shown a marked improvement from their Freshman year. We can only hope...

Sturms qualifying group defined

As the opening day of World Cup XV draws near, the Gesamtkuntswerk Sturms, corporate founders of the popular dining franchise by the same name, have found themselves assigned to the second of ten qualifying groups:

Group 2:
Oglethorpia (6)
Gesamtkuntswerk (20)
Dennisov (25)
Lovebug (37)
Tadjikistan (56)
Larkinia (110)
Krytenia (121)
Slaikau (200)
Artoonia (200)
Rampagonia (200)

Looking at the coming games both statistically and historically, there's little doubt that the top three teams will move on to the group clusters of WCXV. Oglethorpia has driven deep into the Fourteenth World Cup, and while some may argue whether the position of host is advantegous or the opposite, a lesser team would have fallen long before Oglethorpia did. Team Dennisov, only slated five places lower than the Sturms, has historically been a strong team, and there is no high degree of certainty that the Sturms will best Team Dennisov at the end of the qualifiers. Though the rest of the group has done varingly well in past cups, the Blitzkrieg attacks commonly associated with the Sturms has made even the highest ranking teams flinch in the face of such an assault, and the complementing iron wall defence that has given the Sturms record-low GAs in past WCs. It is because of these elements, and more besides, that the Sturms are all but guaranteed to progress beyond the qualifying stage and into the Fifteenth World Cup proper. In fact, based on previous performances in the qualifying round, the avid gambler would not do poorly to put the Sturms at the top of the group by the close of the eighteenth match.

Top picks: Gesamtkuntswerk, Oglethorpia, Dennisov

World Cup Update

Group 4:
Rejistania (3)
Liverpool England (21)
Iansisle (34)
Mattigool (36)
The Redavic Union (59)
The Evil Umpire (110)
Calientia (156)
The Gulf States (200)
Jaodom (200)
Tim Jenkins Europro (200)

Liverpool England vs Rejistania [Friendly, Grover's Park, Orean] 1-1 (Scorer: William Boneham)

Venues, as decided by the FALE:
Liverpool England vs Rejistania - Grover's Park, Orean
Liverpool England vs Iansisle - New National Stadium, CCL
Liverpool England vs Mattigool - Waterway Stadium, Schimpol
Liverpool England vs The Redavic Union - Waterway Stadium
Liverpool England vs The Evil Umpire - Oddslavo National Stadium, CCL
Liverpool England vs Calienta - Oddslavo National
Liverpool England vs The Gulf States - New National Stadium
Liverpool England vs Jaodom - To Be Decided
Liverpool England vs Tim Jenkins Europro - To Be Decided

Editor's Tip: Rejistania, Liverpool England, The Redavic Union

Group 7:
Total n Utter Insanity (7)
Spaam (13)
Oddslavo (31)
The Weegies (39)
NASTIC 2 (53)
Oceaice (86)
Morriganavia (125)
Kaufmanstad (200)
Kodia (200)
Baureus (200)

Editor's Tip: Total n Utter Insanity, Spaam, The Weegies

Group 1:

Bedistan (8 )
One Red Dot (22)
The Lowland Clans (24)
Aquilla (42)
Grand Master Mark (52)
Turori (115)
Foggymushmush (200)
Crabec (200)
TripB (200)
Ktony (200)

Editor's Tip: Bedistan, One Red Dot, The Lowland Clans

Group 2:
Oglethorpia (6)
Gesamtkuntswerk (20)
Dennisov (25)
Lovebug (37)
Tadjikistan (56)
Larkinia (110)
Krytenia (121)
Slaikau (200)
Artoonia (200)
Rampagonia (200)

Editor's Tip: Oglethorpia, Gesamtkuntswerk, Lovebug

Group 3:
Audioslavia (5)
Commerce Heights (23)
Jeruselem (31)
Creedence Clearwater (43)
Raptor Claw (68 )
Ineptia (97)
Kipto-Mare (168)
Boscioto (200)
Sportonia (200)
Isles of Wohlstand (200)

Editor's Tip: Audioslavia, Commerce Heights, Jeruselem

Group 5:
Tanah Burung (4)
Halfassedstates (16)
Kaze Progressa (28 )
Nikea (44)
The Republican Army (58 )
Lallania (108)
Haperd (184)
Sprotbot (200)
Daekerius (200)
Qia (200)

Editor's Tip: Tanah Burung, Kaze Progressa, Nikea

Group 6:
Snub Nose 38 (12)
Giant Zucchini (18 )
Squornshelous (27)
EL CID THE HERO (47)
Crystilakere (61)
Oaker (107)
Ascensia (125)
Balti Pie (200)
Rot-Gelb-Grun (200)
Progressive Beans (200)

Editor's Tip: Snub Nose 38, Giant Zucchini, Squornshelous

Group 8:
Lemmitania (10)
Svecia (17)
Dance 2 Revolution (30)
Vilita (38 )
Wella (54)
Avenging Altos (70)
Starblaydia (116)
Grays Harbor (200)
The East Asian Empire (200)
Bakinhale (200)

Editor's Tip: Lemmitania, Dance 2 Revolution, Vilita

Group 9:
Kingsford (1)
Cockbill Street (15)
The Belmore Family (29)
Lovisa (49)
Magnus Valerius (57)
Shang-ti (77)
Resistencia (171)
Rukbat al Rami (200)
KT MPLG (200)
Tasty Toast (200)

Editor's Tip: Kingsford, Cockbill Street, The Belmore Family

Group 10:
Brazillico (9)
Europa Brittania (14)
NEWI Cefn Druids (35)
Melmond (48 )
Intelligent Madness (66)
Turnia (76)
Lykaia (184)
Coruna (200)
The Home Islands (200)
Everybody Dies (200)

Editor's Tip: Brazillico, Europa Brittania, NEWI Cefn Druids

Starblaydia faces tough test in Qualifiers
Group 8 a nasty one for Starblaydi debutants

Group 8:
Lemmitania (10)
Svecia (17)
Dance 2 Revolution (30)
Vilita (38 )
Wella (54)
Avenging Altos (70)
Starblaydia (116)
Grays Harbor (200)
The East Asian Empire (200)
Bakinhale (200)

Match Schedule:
Match 1: Vilita 2 - 1 Starblaydia
Match 2: Starblaydia 1 - 2 Wella
Match 3: Avenging Altos 1 - 1 Starblaydia
Match 4: Bakinhale 2 - 1 Starblaydia
Match 5: Starblaydia 2-0 Grays Harbor
Match 6: The East Asian Empire 1-1 Starblaydia
Match 7: Starblaydia 3-0 Lemmitania
Match 8: Svecia 2-2 Starblaydia
Match 9: Starblaydia 5-1 Dance 2 Revolution
Match 10: Starblaydia 3-2 Vilita
Match 11: Wella 2-0 Starblaydia
Match 12: Starblaydia 2-1 Avenging Altos
Match 13: Starblaydia 3-3 Bakinhale
Match 14: Grays Harbor 1-0 Starblaydia
Match 15: Starblaydia 2-2 The East Asian Empire
Match 16: Lemmitania 2-0 Starblaydia
Match 17: Starblaydia 3-1 Svecia
Match 18: Dance 2 Revolution 1-1 Starblaydia

No team can go into any tournament for the first time expecting to win it, yet Starblaydia may yet be denied even qualification from their group by a host of more experienced teams.

Pundits suggest that Starblaydia will come anywhere from 5th to 7th in the group. But with three positive results predicted against the other debutants, good performances and, above all, points, may rocket Starblaydia up the table.

Starblaydi Stadiums To Host World Cup XV Qualifiers
Jhanna City - Currently the best team in Starblaydia, Jhanna City's modern Jader Barbalho Stadium, with its 94,000 capacity, will be employed for the biggest sporting spectacles. Hosting Vilita and Svecia in the Qualifiers

Penningworth United - A lovely new stadium for the Pennies, the Iota "Big-Eye" Arena seats 85,000 in luxurious surroundings, with a sliding roof and delicate silver archways.

Corinthian Spirits - Silverlands stadium, a 55,000 all-seater, gives off a very intimidating atmosphere, with the crowd right at the edge of the pitch all the way round the stadium. Low sloping roofs amplify the sound and help project it onto the pitch, creating the loudest stadium in the country.

Internashionale - Marceto Stadium is home to 50,000 Internashionale fans who flock to see their silky skills to a samba beat every week

Jhanna United - Perennially Jhanna's second team, United's Rose Ground has been selected for the Bakinhale game, packing 45,000 fans into its ageing stands

Vecchio Victors - With Starblaydia's inspirational Captain Ryan Garry playing at Victory Park every week, there's no way that this 48,000 seater stadium could ne missed off the list.

MD2: Starblaydia Vs Wella - Iota Arena (85,000)
MD5: Starblaydia Vs Grays Harbor H - Marceto Stadium (50,000)
MD7: Starblaydia Vs Lemmitania - Iota Arena (85,000)
MD9: Starblaydia Vs Dance 2 Revolution H - Silverlands (55,000)
MD10: Starblaydia Vs Vilita - Jader Barbalho Stadium (94,000)
MD12: Starblaydia Vs Avenging Altos - Silverlands (55,000)
MD13: Starblaydia Vs Bakinhale - The Rose Ground (45,000)
MD15: Starblaydia Vs The East Asian Empire - Victory Park (48,000)
MD17: Starblaydia Vs Svecia - Jader Barbalho Stadium (94,000)

Anyone knows Rejistania before the group draw for a world cup takes place? Normally the entire country starts speculating wildly, about the groups, the used system, the chances of the Orange-Blues and if Karela will do it again. The ASR ('asene sekhika rejistaniha', the organisation formerly known as RejisFA) normally is unafected untill the last day when there chaos breaks out. It was ecatly the same this year: The ASR stayed calm and organized a friendly with Liverpool England refused to give comments or insider information on the used sstem to make pots or do the group draw and on the day of the draw, the officials became hectic. The group, the Orange-Blues are in looks as follows:

The Team:
After amny players retired, Laxtu Takil formed a nearly entirely new team from U21 players and other young but very talented players. Hexen Imdila's "newbs" won the world cup. Let's see how these newbs are doing.

The Group:

Group 4:
Rejistania (3)
Liverpool England (21)
Iansisle (34)
Mattigool (36)
The Redavic Union (59)
The Evil Umpire (110)
Calientia (156)
The Gulf States (200)
Jaodom (200)
Tim Jenkins Europro (200)

The opponents:

The Gulf States, Jaodom, Tim Jankins Europro are totally unknown teams.

Calientia participated in the BoF tournament but all videos of the games disappeared.

The Evil Umpire and their teabags are feared by the Orange-Blues - as well as the long and detailled match reports in this country.

The Readvic Union, Iansisle and Mattigool are mediocre teams, maybe a bit like the lasane in WCX. The ASR never speculates about the outcome of matches but the National expects clear wins - at least at home.

Liverpool England and Rejistania already met in two friendlies. the new and internationally unexperienced newbs held 'LE' (as they are called) to a 1-1 draw (scorers: Ju (REJ) 32nd, Boneham (LIV) 56th).

The Bedistan Sports Digest

Friendly Shows Great Promise For Lions, Orange-Blues
Closely-contested match leads to 2-1 Rejistanian victory

MIDWAY -- Rejistania and Bedistan have met on the pitch before, facing each other twice in World Cup XII qualifying. Those two matches proved inconclusive, both ending in draws. The decision for the two teams to play each other again was made just a few days ago, when the ASR and the BFA agreed that both their teams could use a bit of a warmup before World Cup XV qualifiers commenced.

Both teams started out slowly, especially the Lions, who had not played a competitive match since the group stage of the most recent Cup. The Lions played cautiously and defensively, superbly stopping a valient push in the 17th minute when a nice Idine Takil shot was grandly intercepted by the head of Bedistani captain Kurt Brew. For much of the half, the ball remained in the middle third of the field, but toward the end the Orange-Blues set up another attack, and this time striker Milan Tia~e would not miss, the shot being just out of reach of Terry Delk in goal. 1:0 Rejistania going into halftime.

The second half started out similarly to the first, but it soon became evident that new Lions manager/coach Jeff Whitehurst had given his team something of a pep talk, as they steadily became more aggressive. Nathan Cooke, newly promoted to a starting spot after the retirement of Gil Vu, got possession in the 71st and worked his way up the right side. He crossed the ball over to a waiting Karen Neighbors, who finished the move with the convincing equalizer.

But the Orange-Blues were not done yet. The Lions suddenly found themselves having to implement a hurried defense as Tia~e'he almost managed a second goal just two minutes later. Jennifer Matz just managed to clear the ball off the line, but it went directly to the waiting shoe of midfielder Sime Hilat, and Hilat'he did not waste his chance, catching Delk off his line and putting Rejistania ahead 2:1.

It was obvious, though, that neither team truly dominated over the other; instead both seemed to be playing at their best -- certainly a good sign for the Lions, who have four new players in starting positions this year. We wish both teams the best of luck in this year's qualifiers.

Final score:
Bedistan 1 (Neighbors 72)
Rejistania 2 (Tia~e 42, Hilat 75)

State of Football in Melmond
The Year of Destiny
By Henry Kalangalangalang of the Melmond City Herald to the NationStates Football World

The story thus far for Melmond football is that it has been good, but not good enough. Melmond was put in another tough group in World Cup qualifying. After a really bad start which saw the Fearless Farmers in last place in their qualifying group 10 at matchday 8, the Fearless Farmers recovered to ride a 10-game unbeaten streak to a solid fifth place. Melmond also stumbled at the gate at the Cup of Harmony, merely tying Lallania and getting shellacked by Vilita and NEWI Cefn Druids. However, Melmond wins three straight and are still alive to repeat as Cup of Harmony Champions as this article comes in print.
What Melmond football needs is a sense of consistency. In every circle, they feel that this is certainly the campaign that will be successful. They are calling this version of the Melmond National Team, “the team of destiny.” There are many players from the last two World Cup qualifying campaigns and many of the young, promising players are nearing their peak. We have a very seasoned and talented side with urgency as many of the players from Fearless Farmers Version 3.0 may be taking their last run at the World Cup final. That goes for Manager Felix Coostatlwak. The man responsible for maintaining the football culture of Melmond for at least fifty years while the sport was largely under the radar in Melmond announced that this will be his last season managing the national team as he approaches his 80s. Assistant Manager and former Dennisov goalkeeper Gerry Cheevers is being groomed to take over for Coostatlwak and also for now to tutor the still developing phenom Snhp Xtfuinxm and add harmony to the side. “I have learned much from my Buddhist study that harmony is the key for success, I will apply my sense of Zen to the pitch and the Fearless Farmers will have success,” Cheevers was quoted of saying.
The success of the Melmond Premier League is forever linked to that of the national team, and instead of expansion with Melmond’s latest success, the teams went on an international player shopping spree, vastly improving the talent in the league. The MFA also plans on having an elimination tournament for club sides called the Melmond Club Eliminational Invitational.
Speaking of tournaments in Melmond, after things fell apart with Liverpool England for the World Cup 15 Bid, a better organized Melmond Football Association will be bidding for the right to co-host World Cup 16 with a yet-to-be-named co-host.
We’re back on the subject of the third version of the Fearless Farmers. Many big things are expected of the 23 year old Snhp Xtfuinxm as his amazing talent will be greatly augmented by the coaching of Gerry Cheevers. He is expected to be one of the best if not the best goalkeeper in the world. His supporting cast has very high expectations weighing upon them as well. Most of the players were on the first two Melmond National Teams and are much more experienced and mature this time around. Many have hinted at retiring from national team play this year. This is the chance for glory for this generation of Melmond football in all arenas. Time is of the essence. This may truly be the year of destiny.

The Daily Druid

WELSH CONFIDENT DRUIDS WILL MAKE THE FINALS
Wayne Ottgunn-Irwin in Eauz for the World Cup 15 qualifying draw.

NEWI Cefn Druids have been given a seemingly tough draw to qualify for World Cup 15 in Eauz and The Eagles Nest, with the two double world champions, Brazillico and Europa Brittania, along with Melmond, Turnia and Lykaia in Group 10 with them.

But manager Tim Welsh seemed more than happy with the draw. He told us, "We can't be disappointed, that's why we're always losing. We've got to look positively at the draw, and remember that we only need to be in the top three, and we are the third highest-ranked team in the group, so that is promising. And we're a different team, with a different outlook on the game, now. Losing used to be accepted as the norm. Now, it's unacceptable. We will make it!"

Group 10 in full:

Brazillico
Europa Brittania
NEWI Cefn Druids
Melmond
Intelligent Madness
Turnia
Lykaia
Coruna
The Home Islands
Everybody Dies

Melmond Draws Group 10: Reaction
By Ian Oioi of the Faasen Times

The inaugural World Cup qualifying campaign of the Melmond National Team had high hopes. The second campaign was filled with great expectations. None of those panned out as it was hoped. The third campaign has a more pressure-packed cliché, now or never. This is because this is the time where the first generation of Melmond football is at its peak and soon its twilight. Many players still remain from the first two campaigns, and many of those players are expected to retire from international play at the end of this campaign. That goes also for Melmond football legend and national team manager Felix Coostatlwak. This is their last chance. Fortunately this time around, the group doesn’t seem to have too much depth. There are perennially strong sides Brazillico and Europa Brittania, but Melmond knows that they can play at their level. NEWI Cefn Druids will probably be our biggest competitor as both sides are tired of being the bridesmaids. The other noteworthy side is Turnia, who may surprise some of the big boys if they take this side lightly.
Let’s take a quick look at the competitors in this group.

Brazillico seems to have regained its world-class form and should be a very talented side this year. They are the favorites to win the group. However, Melmond knows that they have the talent and desire to keep up with the Chili Bats.

Europa Brittania is almost taken for granted as a qualifier for every World Cup. Almost too much for granted. If this naturally talented side gets the least bit cocky, the two hungry sides, NEWI Cefn Druids and Melmond, could take those other qualifying spots.

NEWI Cefn Druids is another notoriously underachieving side. However, this side has shed its loser label but still remains lovable. Look for Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po to lead this up-and-coming side.

Intelligent Madness is one of those sides that seem satisfied as an also-ran. However, we said that about the EL CID THE HERO side last campaign and they finished fourth.

The Dragons of Turnia are certainly the little team that could. They don’t have the natural talent or physical ability of most sides, but what they have is an endless supply of heart which will take them far in this group, but not quite far enough.

Lykaia is a very cold nation. It’s amazing that football could even be played in such an icy nation! Anyway this side has some international experience in the Baptism of Fire tournament, but that experience just was basically getting the collective bums handed to them. Look for them to slip slide away.

Coruna is a much warmer nation. They are a very polite and gracious side. The only thing they will probably be best at is avoiding fouls and cards.

The Home Islands are relative minnows to the scene and shouldn’t do all that much. However, their Kabuki halftime show is something to see.

Finally, and they hope final, Everybody Dies. This is a very bipolar side that may have to use many players due to suicide, homicide, regicide, Funny Cide, and many other cides.

Once again folks…a bold prediction!

The Prediction
1. Brazillico
2. Melmond
3. NEWI Cefn Druids
4. Europa Brittania
5. Turnia
6. Intelligent Madness
7. Coruna
8. Lykaia
9. The Home Islands
10. Everybody Dies

Melmond National Team Schedule

v Lykaia (MPNK Stadium, Faasen)
@ Coruna
v The Home Islands (Lifedonations Stadium, Morales)
@ Brazillico
v Europa Brittania (Melmond Bowl, Melmond City)
@ NEWI Cefn Druids
v Everybody Dies (MelAir Park, Lee)
v Intelligent Madness (Frankndottir Stadium, Acosta)
@ Turnia
@ Lykaia
v Coruna (White Bread Dome, Suburbia)
@ The Home Islands
v Brazillico (Microcosm Football Colossuseum, Aldi)
@ Europa Brittania
v NEWI Cefn Druids (Feliz-Unne Stadium, Unne)
@ Everybody Dies
@ Intelligent Madness
v Turnia (Makinshakes Stadium, O’Connor)

Next Game
vs. Lykaia (MPNK Stadium, Faasen)

Finally, the Melmond National Team starts their qualifying season in their home nation against a not too formidable side. This match against the people from the frigid nation of Lykaia should be one where Melmond works out all its kinks and still gets the victory. Here is Manager Felix Coostatlwak’s starting lineup.

GK- Snhp Xtfuinxm
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Sergio Ortiz
D- Scott Cheney
D- Nina Steen
M- Martin Goodwin
M- Critandi Unne
M- Camui Arai
M- Cristina Antunez
F- Chris Owen
F- Benjamin Leeb

MPNK Stadium
Location: Faasen, Melmond
Seats: 58,750 (Open Air)

Faasen is Melmond’s fifth largest city and is more known for its music scene rather than its sports. Faasen is known as the place that spawned international music legends such as the Lying Eyes, Neurotransmitter Frequency, Alice Millie, and new sensations Entry. Sports it is not at all the known for. MPNK Stadium was built during the rush of popularity of the Batter Up Baseball League and is mainly funded by Faasen media giant MPNK. MPNK just started up as a punk and ska radio station in the Faasen area and just grew to be a media giant in the nation. MPNK stadium is the home of the Faasen baseball team as well as the Faasen Oranges club team. Nothing remarkable about it as a stadium, but it is a memorable place for baseball moments. The first 5,000 children through the gates will get a talking doll of either Nina Steen or Phael Survigosis. They come with both the Melmond National Team uniform and the Faasen Oranges uniform. This time there is no secret hypnosis in the voices! Still tickets available!

Turnia City Tribune

World Cup XV Preview Update
Max Riodondo

After a hearty practice, it seems that the Dragons will be keeping with a 3-3-4 formation, dropping the 4-2-4, "Yeah, for the talent we have the 4-2-4 just isn't the right fit. We really had mid-field problems in the CoH. Having only 2 is asking a bit much for our team. This is what we will be sticking with throughout qualifiers" said offensive coach Cantilliere.

Stability is certainly what the team needs. We have seen coaching changes, wholesale player changes, offensive and defensive formation changes. All of this has been for the better, but coaching on the fly is difficult and disruptive to team chemistry. Especially for one this young. This is a good move by the coaching staff and should have a well jelled team by matchday one.

"Things are progressing nicely. I really like what I am seeing. We will be ready from day one, unlike our last qualifing" said head coach Odle, taking a swipe at his brother the former HC. "When you are facing teams of the ilk of Brazillico, Europa, NEWI and Melmond you better darn well be ready yesterday. What day was yesterday?" added the chuckling HC.

Yesterday was Saturday coach, and this reporter likes what he sees.

The St. Alicia Times

Reality Storm Draws Same Group as Top Seed
(by Times/DC sports analyst Bill Muerte)

Selections for the qualifiers were made today, and when all was said and done, KT MPLG landed in one of the toughest groups. Group 9, which contains perennial favorites Cockbill Street and The Belmore Family, as well as top-ranked Kingsford, will be the mountain the Storm must climb to enter the World Cup. Although there's a lack of a clearly defined "group of death," football analysts the world over recognize that this is one of the strongest qualifying divisions in World Cup XV. Right off the bat, KT MPLG will be tested, as our national team faces its first challenge in a strong Cockbill Street side, at CS's Vimesbairn National Stadium. However, win or lose, after the game, manager Jonathan Triggs has promised a live web-conference on Dragon Child NewsNet. (www.dragonchild.li7)

The Breakdown:
The KT MPLG side has some strong points and some weak points when it comes to international play. I don't expect this team to escape the group and get into the Cup proper, but they could be a potential spoiler for some of the established names.

KT MPLG Strengths:
1. Their defense is excellent. Capped by its star players, the Gold twins, the Reality Storm backfield is adept at causing problems with opponents.
2. Louis Martin as captain. This tall midfielder has a keen eye on the opponents, incredible endurance, and amazingly, a very small ego.
3. The advantage of surprise. Remember, no one has faced KT MPLG in international play before.

KT MPLG Weaknesses:
1. Lack of experience. This team will be having it's first international match ever at Cockbill Street, an extremely good side.
2. Offense is not that sharp. Although made of the best strikers and attacking midfielders in our small nation, the Storm attack may not be enough to penetrate defenses on the level of TBF and the like.
3. This may or may not be a weakness, but the changing of the guard between the posts is an X factor that will more likely than not hurt our chances of victory.

Bill's Picks:
Group Winner: Cockbill Street
Runner-up: Kingsford
Third: TBF
Fourth: Lovisa
Fifth: Magnus Valerius
Sixth: KT MPLG
Seventh: Shang-ti
Eighth: Tasty Toast
Ninth: Resistencia
Last: Rukbat al Rami

Match Schedule:
Match 1: @ Cockbill Street
Match 2: vs. The Belmore Family
Match 3: @ Lovisa
Match 4: vs. Magnus Valerius
Match 5: @ Shang-ti
Match 6: vs. Resistencia
Match 7: @ Rukbat al Rami
Match 8: @ Tasty Toast
Match 9: vs. Kingsford
Match 10: vs. Cockbill Street
Match 11: @ The Belmore Family
Match 12: vs. Lovisa
Match 13: @ Magnus Valerius
Match 14: vs. Shang-ti
Match 15: @ Resistencia
Match 16: vs. Rukbat al Rami
Match 17: vs. Tasty Toast
Match 18: @ Kingsford
All home matches are to be at the Miralan Colliseum barring extreme circumstances.

New Manager for Insanicians!

[edited out]

Ex-miner Willy has promised a new era of Insanician Football.

"All shall fall before TnUI!" he stated. "Have you seen my keys? I seem to have misplaced them."

Willy was happy with the draw saying 7 was his lucky number.

毎日新聞
The Daily Islander

On the eve of the first World Cup for the Home Islands, the team has been thrust into a very difficult group. The group includes former champions Europa Brittania, and a re-emerging side from Brazillico, as well as a number of rising stars in the Inter-NationStates world of football. Expectations for the Rockets are fairly low, however team manager Ichirou Sekiguchi has expressed optimism.

“Obviously, no one, even us, expect to be contenders in our first ever cup, but we think that we can leave a positive mark on the competition and establish ourselves as a potential future threat,” he said before departing for the team’s first qualification match in Europa Brittania. “We hope that we can use these matches to gain valuable experience for both the players and the national program as a whole, and hope to improve ourselves.”

The team is made up of mostly young faces, with a few experienced players from the domestic league. Matsukyo Super Lion favourite Tatsuya Hirokawa will captain the team and anchor the back four, while 31-year-old Masanobu Yamaguchi will lead the midfield. Young Ren Kanai is the forward striker, while 21-year-old Osamu Nomiyama will play in between the midfield and Kanai.

All of the Rockets home matches will be played at Aomizu Stadium in Matsukyo, as the other stadiums are not up to international standards.

Again: My puppet Stalag 5 signed up. Cannot find it in any of the groups.

The proud nation of Stalag 5 does not understand, why it seemed to be banned from international football.

The St. Alicia Times
<snip>


OOC: Great RP mate...my stadium is the Vimesbairn National Stadium, capacity 150,000, and have already hosted several World Cup finals matches in addition to a lot of qualifiers.

Ankh-Morpork C-mail
Cockbill Street Department

Rikki Pleased With Group
"Can't Pron...pro...You know, like...half the teams, but good, yeah"

Kingsford (1)
Cockbill Street (15)
The Belmore Family (29)
Lovisa (49)
Magnus Valerius (57)
Shang-ti (77)
Resistencia (171)
Rukbat al Rami (200)
KT MPLG (200)
Tasty Toast (200)

Matchday 1: Cockbill Street v KT MPLG @ Vimesbairn National
A fiersome and fighting side with a lot of talent, KT MPLG lacks international experience. That should count for our players. Rikki Stone says: "Too many conso...you know, not vowel-like-things".
Prediction: Street 4-2, Stone hat-trick.

Matchday 2: Kingsford v Cockbill Street @ TriNational Stadium (OOC: biggest match, biggest stadium, right?)
Kingsford - world champs. Nuff said really. OK, they had home advantage, but so did we in lucky thirteen and look where that gave us. Rikki Stone says: "Duh. They're like...you know...kings, right? Really tough, like."
Prediction: 0-0.

Matchday 3: Cockbill Street v Tasty Toast @ K'haz'bak K'druz'ba D'gazh'dukh
Tasty Toast. Not much known about this team, really - they tend to be secretive. Rikki Stone says: "YUMMY! TOAST!"
Prediction: Street 5-1, Stone two goals and one assist.

Matchday 4: Cockbill Street v The Belmore Family @ Vimesbairn National
Our first meeting with the feared Belmorians - luckily it's a home game, so we'll have the support of 150,000 frantic Streeters. That'll be needed, because The Belmore Family will be trying to repair what happened in the last cup. Rikki Stone says: "Weren't them the team with all the, like, Alans in it?"
Prediction: Street 2-1, Stone the winning goal in the 84th.

Matchday 5: Lovisa v Cockbill Street @ Stadion Vima, Atma
Lovisa. Although not an all-female team, despite the name, they have haunted the world cup qualifiers since around the time of World Cup 12. They have never actually got to the World Cup, but have their best chance now, and we need to be 100 % focused to beat them. Rikki Stone says: "Oh no, not them...I saw a Lovisan paper once...couldn't understand a thing..."
Prediction: 1-1, Stone rested on request from Acosta Browns.

Matchday 6: Cockbill Street v Magnus Valerius @ Jotneheim Park
Getting matches out into the countryside seems to be the policy of the CSDS. And the Valerians, who have been absent recently from the world stage of reporting due to a massive testing of the journalists, could be a good team to play in a small stadium. Interestingly, the Emperor of Magnus Valerius picks the team himself...does he know his players well enough?
Prediction: Street 3-2, Stone one goal.

Matchday 7: Shang-ti v Cockbill Street
Shang-ti - a relative veteran - keeps turning up but not doing a lot. Although it's an away match, it should be pretty easy.
Rikki Stone says: "Oh, Chinese! I love Chinese food!"
Prediction: Street 4-0, Stone hat-trick, and he'll get some spring rolls afterwards from the hosts.

Matchday 8: Cockbill Street v Resistencia @ Izh'no'got K'druz'ba D'gazh'dukh
Another match in dwarf territory, on the soil of the upcoming team Izh'no'got. Rikki Stone says: "Resistancia? No resistance. Get it?" whereupon he proceeded to roll on the floor with laughter.
Prediction: Street 1-0, Stone benched with laughter cramps.

Matchday 9: Rukbat al Rami v Cockbill Street
A nation similar to Klatch in appearance, Rukbat al Rami shouldn't really have any footballers worthy of note. They're new to the world scene, and the Streeters shouldn't have any problems. Rikki Stone says: "Don't ask me. Who are those guys?"
Prediction: Street 6-3, three goals conceded in the opening 10 minutes before the Streeters pull themselves together.

Matchday 10: KT MPLG v Cockbill Street @ Miralan Colliseum
This one could be tough. The MPLGians will probably have gained a lot of experience and RP-inin, and will probably defend their way to a good result.
Prediction: Street 1-0, Stone to save the day.

Matchday 11: Cockbill Street v Kingsford @ Vimesbairn National
The world champions will be welcomed to Vimesbairn National - a city crowding with football-craze as the two major teams, United and Athletic, compete for the league title just now.
Prediction: 2-2, Street to take an early 2-0 lead but be pegged back in the last minutes.

Matchday 12: Tasty Toast v Cockbill Street
Prediction: Street 6-0.

Matchday 13: The Belmore Family v Cockbill Street
Prediction: Street 3-2, the Belmorians to get a solid early start but the Streeters will eventually find their natural game and win it.

Matchday 14: Cockbill Street v Lovisa @ Harewood Grass Patch
Prediction: 0-0. The Street will lack offensive capabilities here, due to an injury to Alec Peterson sustained in The Belmore Family.

Matchday 15: Magnus Valerius v Cockbill Street
Prediction: Another boring 0-0 draw.

Matchday 16: Cockbill Street v Shang-ti @ Northset County Cricket Ground
Prediction: The reserves will pick it up, scoring four goals between them. 4-1.

Matchday 17: Resistencia v Cockbill Street
Prediction: Street 3-0, Stone makes another hat-trick.

Matchday 18: Cockbill Street v Rukbat al Rami @ Vimesbairn National
Prediction: Street 5-1, the Street will cross out all opposition on their way to the Communist Nest.

Final Group Prediction:
1. Kingsford
2. Cockbill Street
3. The Belmore Family
4. KT MPLG
5. Shang-ti
6. Magnus Valerius
7. Lovisa
8. Rukbat al Rami
9. Resistencia
10.Tasty Toast

2nd Late Edition: Edited on request from the Lovisan Government.

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST
World Cup Draw Special

Group 2:
Oglethorpia (6)
Gesamtkuntswerk (20)
Dennisov (25)
Lovebug (37)
Tadjikistan (56)
Larkinia (110)
KRYTENIA (121)
Slaikau (200)
Artoonia (200)
Rampagonia (200)

Krytenia will be hard fought to even get in the top half in this group, with FIVE Top 60 sides in the pool. Look out for the two close games against Larkinia, and the chance of seeing goalkeeper Alan Munitis playing despite a severe case of writer's cramp in the visit to Oglethorpia.

Fixtures:
@ Lovebug
v Tadjikistan
@ Larkinia
@ Rampagonia
v Slaikau
@ Artoonia
v Oglethorpia
@ Gesamtkuntswerk
v Dennisov
v Lovebug
@ Tadjikistan
v Larkinia
v Rampagonia
@ Slaikau
v Artoonia
@ Oglethorpia
v Gesamtkuntswerk
@ Dennisov

The proud nation of Stalag 5 does not understand, why it seemed to be banned from international football. Because Stalag 5 is a non-independent nation and the WCC prefers nations from the reserve sign-ups over puppets.

The proud nation of Stalag 5 does not understand, why it seemed to be banned from international football. Because Stalag 5 is a non-independent nation and the WCC prefers nations from the reserve sign-ups over puppets.

I quote KP from #sport.

[code:1:b198c7603f][17:13:59] <@KP> The World Cup Committee ruling for this Cup was that reserve signups replace puppets and hence Stalag 5, as the last puppet to sign up, was replaced by reserve signup Svecia.
[17:14:00] <@KP> I personally disagree with the ruling in this case, as Svecia signed up after the deadline, and Eauz had specifically closed signups... but at the time, I was not in a position to stop it, and while I am the WCC president now, it is too late to change now.
[17:14:00] <@KP> In the meantime, I would like to wish Mattigool good luck - the least you deserve is to qualify.[/code:1:b198c7603f]

-Note: Quote was edited to remove one unneccessary bit.

WORLD CUP QUALIFICATION
The predictions from Jaruna Jaff, Faiwe Irafma and Eaidlin Forca

JARUNA JAFF won 48 caps for Kaze Progressa at right wing-back and played in the same demanding position for Kaza X-Teem for nearly 20 years. He is now a columnist for the Kaza Evening Express.

PREDICTIONS:
Group 1: Bedistan, The Lowland Clans, One Red Dot
Group 2: Oglethorpia, Lovebug, Gesamtkuntswerk
Group 3: Audioslavia, Commerce Heights, Jeruselem
Group 4: Rejistania, Mattigool, Liverpool England
Group 5: Tanah Burung, Kaze Progressa, Halfassedstates
Group 6: Snub Nose 38, Squornshelous, Giant Zucchini
Group 7: Total n Utter Insanity, Spaam, The Weegies
Group 8: Lemmitania, Dance 2 Revolution, Vilita
Group 9: Kingsford, Cockbill Street, The Belmore Family
Group 10: Brazillico, Europa Brittania, Melmond

FAIWE IRAFMA is perhaps the most famous figure in Progressan history, including politicians. 30 goals in 64 international appearances and 356 goals in 389 club games for Quarua Lakeside in an astonishing 22-year career. He is now manager at Quarua Lakeside as he attempts to turn around their recent slump.

PREDICTIONS:
Group 1: Bedistan, The Lowland Clans, One Red Dot
Group 2: Oglethorpia, Gesamtkuntswerk, Dennisov
Group 3: Audioslavia, Commerce Heights, Creedence Clearwater
Group 4: Rejistania, Liverpool England, Iansisle
Group 5: Kaze Progressa, Halfassedstates, Tanah Burung
Group 6: Giant Zucchini, Snub Nose 38, Squornshelous
Group 7: Total n Utter Insanity, Spaam, Oddslavo
Group 8: Lemmitania, Dance 2 Revolution, Vilita
Group 9: Kingsford, Cockbill Street, The Belmore Family
Group 10: Brazillico, Europa Brittania, NEWI Cefn Druids

EAIDLIN FORCA is the most famous commentator in Progressan history. He has commentated since World Cup 7, covering every World Cup final since World Cup 8 on Progressa TeleSport. A fierce critic of the national side in recent years, he is to make WC15 his final Cup before retirement.

PREDICTIONS:
Group 1: Bedistan, One Red Dot, The Lowland Clans
Group 2: Oglethorpia, Lovebug, Dennisov
Group 3: Audioslavia, Commerce Heights, Jeruselem
Group 4: Rejistania, Liverpool England, Iansisle
Group 5: Tanah Burung, Halfassedstates, Nikea
Group 6: Snub Nose 38, Squornshelous, Giant Zucchini
Group 7: Total n Utter Insanity, Spaam, Oddslavo
Group 8: Lemmitania, Dance 2 Revolution, Vilita
Group 9: Kingsford, Cockbill Street, Lovisa
Group 10: Brazillico, Europa Brittania, NEWI Cefn Druids

post withdrawn - pointless posts should always be withdrawn. This one was. however, it does serve as a nice tag.

Matchday 5: Lovisa v Cockbill Street @ unpronounceable name in Polish
Lovisa. Although not an all-female team, despite the name, they have haunted the world cup qualifiers since around the time of World Cup 12. They have never actually got to the World Cup, but have their best chance now, and we need to be 100 % focused to beat them. Rikki Stone says: "Oh no, not them...I saw a Lovisan paper once...couldn't understand a thing..."
Prediction: 1-1, Stone rested on request from Acosta Browns.


this match will be at Stadion Vibo in Atma.
:wink:

Jeruselem Government News

Jeruselem happy with WC WV group

The management of Jeruselem soccer team were please with their group draw. They were placed in Group 3 with old rivals Creedence Clearwater as well as giants Audioslavia and Commerce Heights.

President of soccer said "We almost made it in XIII, and XIV was a disaster. This time XV looks favourable for qualifying".

Group 3:
Audioslavia (5)
Commerce Heights (23)
Jeruselem (31)
Creedence Clearwater (43)
Raptor Claw (68 )
Ineptia (97)
Kipto-Mare (168)
Boscioto (200)
Sportonia (200)
Isles of Wohlstand (200)

MD1:Tadjikistan - Larkinia
MD2:Krytenia - Tadjikistan
MD3:Tadjikistan - Slaikau
MD4:Artoonia - Tadjikistan
MD5:Tadjikistan - Oglethorpia
MD6:Gesamtkuntswerk - Tadjikistan
MD7:Tadjikistan - Dennisov
MD8:Lovebug - Tadjikistan
MD9:Tadjikistan - Rampagoonia
MD10:Larkinia - Tadjikistan
MD11:Tadjikistan - Krytenia
MD12:Slaikau - Tadjikistan
MD13:Tadjikistan - Artoonia
MD14:Oglethorpia - Tadjikistan
MD15:Tadjikistan - Gesamtkuntswerk
MD16:Dennisov - Tadjikistan
MD17:Tadjikistan - Lovebug
MD18:Rampagoonia - Tadjikistan

The only team in this group that we've played before is Dennisov and it did not go well. But we have a chance of taking revenge, i expect Lovebug, Gesamtkuntswerk and Oglethorpia to qualify, Dennisov will probably have 4th, followed by Tadjikistan. A optimist realist might even predict a 4th place for Tadjikistan, anything better then 4th would be considered dreaming. We can take a good start as we meet new(Artoonia, Slaikau) or much lower ranked teams(Krytenia, Larkinia). Then comes the hard work with the strong teams. I'm already looking for to our first match in Tadjikistan (in the Buranbay stadion) against Larkinia as visitors. Our prediction? 2-0, a positive, realistic and satisfying score.

.....Vilita Match Locations for WCQXV

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http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/sched.gif
M01:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Starblaydia @ Tivali Ring Stadium
M03:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] ???????? @ Jlinal Cove Complex
M05:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Svecia @ The Shultis
M07:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Bakinhale @ Marine World Park
M08:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Wella @ Marine World Park
M11:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Grays Harbor @ Marine World Park
M13:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Lemmitania @ Tivali Ring Stadium
M15:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Dance 2 Revolution @ Tivali Ring Stadium
M18:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Avenging Altos @ The Shultis


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Return of the Zucchinis:
Episode 0: Praeludium

The scene shows a dark room. A dark figure is seated behind a chair which is turned away from the camera. A door is knocked, and visibly shaken, yet vaguely familiar zucchini enters the room.

Zucchini: I’m sorry I failed.

Dark figure: You don’t have to say that every time you enter. Many years have passed. The time is coming again. Prepare yourself. It may be your last chance at redemption. I tell you today that we have a new enemy. The enemy’s name is error, and it stands tall against the horizon. This new enemy is all too human, but we will act now before these traitors spread their disease to other susceptible minds! Are you thinking what I am thinking?

Zucchini: I think so, but won’t the Chickenizer spoil if we drop a dictionary on it?

Dark figure: Aargh, never mind.

Zucchini: Narf!

------------------------TO BE CONTINUED------------------------

Are you ripped off yet?
Escape to Slavery
Return of the Jedi
J.S. Bach: The Well-Tempered Clavier
Shrek 2
Deus Ex: Invisible War
Pinky and the Brain

Eauz - TEN: Found this posted in the WC XV Signup thread:

Kaufmanstad is dropping out of World Cup XV

Eauz - TEN: Found this posted in the WC XV Signup thread:

Kaufmanstad is dropping out of World Cup XV


It's been noted by Eauz!

http://www.biezanow.net/~dominik/TVLovun/lovun.jpg
http://www.biezanow.net/~dominik/TVLovun/sport.jpg
http://www.biezanow.net/~dominik/TVLovun/football.jpg

WC 15-Info

World Cup Draw Special

Group 9
Kingsford (1)
Cockbill Street (15)
The Belmore Family (29)
Lovisa (49)
Magnus Valerius (57)
Shang-ti (77)
Resistencia (171)
Rukbat al Rami (200)
KT MPLG (200)
Tasty Toast (200)

Matchday 1: Lovisa - Resistencia @ Stadion Visby, Quarcoo
- Lovisa play first time with Resistencia. This is a good team, but I hope we win.
Prediction: 1-0

Matchday 2: Rukbat al Rami - Lovisa
- another new coutry which play with Lovisa. This smeel Arab. But dont problem wit win.
Prediction: 0-3

Matchday 3: Lovisa - KT MPLG @ Stadion Calvena, Leve
- Oh God, third newbie country. Its very strange name. Strange name= easy lovisan win.
Prediction: 4-1

Matchday 4: Kingsford - Lovisa
- Well, Lovisa first time play with Kingsford, but this is very hard opponent . For now this is nuber 1 to win in this group. We will play for draw, but this match is in away, and this is probably impossible to draw.
Prediction: 3-1

Matchday 5: Lovisa - Cockbill Street @ Stadion Vibo, Atma
- we never play with Cochbill, but we know this is a one of the favorite in this group. But we will combat.
Prediction: 0-2

Matchday 6: The Belmore Family - Lovisa
- well, well ,well. We face each other once again. But now it will not simply win with Lovisa. Lovisa play with TBF 4 time. We 1 win, 1 draw and 2 lose.

Lovisa - The Belmore Family 2-0 WC12 qualification match 1
The Belmore Family - Lovisa 3-0 WC12 qualification match 2
Lovisa - The Belmore Family 0-0 WC13 qualification match 1
The Belmore Family - Lovisa 1-0 WC13 qualification match 2

Prediction: 1-0

Matchday 7: Lovisa - Tasty Toast @ Stadion Visby, Quarcoo
- Lovisa play first time, but i thing this team will be very easy. we win twice.
Prediction: 3-0

Matchday 8: Lovisa - Magnus Valerius @ Stadium Ayr, Rafaelburg
- Lovisa play with Magnus one time in last WC (14). In this time we will play better.

Lovisa - Magnus Valerius 2-2 WC14 qualification match 1
Magnus Valerius - Lovisa 0-0 WC14 qualification match 2

Prediction: 2-1

Matchday 9: Shang-ti - Lovisa
- and another first time Lovisa play with "chineisesounding" team. Its not hard for us.
Prediction: 1-2

Matchday 10: Resistencia - Lovisa
Prediction: 1-0

Matchday 11: Lovisa - Rukbat al Rami @ Stadion Calvena, Leve
Prediction: 3-0

Matchday 12: KT MPLG - Lovisa
Prediction: 1-3

Matchday 13: Lovisa - Kingsford
Prediction: 0-3

Matchday 14: Cockbill Street - Lovisa @ Harewood Grass Patch
Prediction: 3-1

Matchday 15: Lovisa - The Belmore Family @ Stadion Vibo, Atma
Prediction: 2-1

Matchday 16: Tasty Toast - Lovisa
Prediction: 0-4

Matchday 17: Magnus Valerius - Lovisa
Prediction: 1-1
Matchday 18: Lovisa - Shang-ti @ Stadion Twentyjski, Vluyn
Prediction: 2-0

Final Group Prediction:
1. Kingsford
2. Cockbill Street
3. The Belmore Family
4. Lovisa
5. Magnus Valerius
6. Resistencia
7. Shang-ti
8. Rukbat al Rami
9. KT MPLG
10.Tasty Toast

In the run up to Qualifying Manager Willy decided the team needed some practice. Who better to practice against than archenemies Audioslavia. A neutral site had to be found first though, and found it was, as Willy looked up at night. The invitation arrived in Audioslavia the next day.

[code:1:b2c742ce9d]
The Moon, 3:00 pm, be there
Miner Willy.
[/code:1:b2c742ce9d]

Surprising the Audioslavians were there early, probably because of the timezone difference. The low gravity and lack of oxygen fazed some of the Audioslavians, who were just wearing t-shirts. As the Insanicians gained an early lead. They struck again in the second half, with Audioslavia barely able to reply. It finished TnUI 2 AS 0 [Score generated by TEN]

BSTV Sports Tonight
December 28, 2043
with Chuck Mitchell and Michael Green Jr.

Chuck: Hello sports fans, and welcome to another edition of BSTV Sports Tonight! I'm Chuck Mitchell, and sitting here on my left is my brand-new co-host, Michael Green Jr. How's it going, Mike?

Mike: Fantastic. Wow, this place sure has changed since the time when my dad sat in this seat.

Chuck: Yes indeed. For the edification of our younger viewers, Michael Green Sr. was a reporter and later anchor for BSTV about 25-30 years ago, back around the time when we were co-hosting the World Cup with Oglethorpia. And speaking of Oglethorpia, as I recall Mr. Green got into a few legal troubles with a sportscaster from Oglethorpia--

Mike: That's very interesting, I'm sure, but it's not what we're here to talk about.

Chuck: Aw, come on, Mike, we've got some time to kill. You remember the late Rev. Mike White of Oglethorpia? Yes, well, Mike's dad *gestures to his left* and another reporter from Ravenspire named Michael Black both got into legal trouble with Rev. (then Mr.) White, saying something about impersonation.

Mike: Y'know, Chuck, our family's really tired of having this brought up--

Chuck: Long story short, White lost, but apparently all three Mikes kind of dropped off the broadcasting map pretty much until the now-Reverend White started calling matches for Oglethorpia again a few years ago. Unfortunately, he's deceased now. I'm betting karma had something to do with that.

Mike: Yes, yes, that's nice. Discussion of my father aside, how about we do our jobs and give our viewers a preview of World Cup XV qualifying?

Chuck: Do what? Oh, the preview. Yeah, I guess so.

Mike: Great. Our beloved Bedistan Lions have been drawn into Group 1, so that seems like a pretty good place to start off.

Chuck: The Lions are the highest-ranked team in the group, coming in at #8, and they shouldn't have any trouble qualifying from the group, which appears to be the easiest of the ten.

Mike: Then you have One Red Dot, always a decent team, but one that really hasn't been considered one of the greats. They should do well enough to qualify, though.

Chuck: The Lowland Clans have fallen on hard times lately, on their way down from a brief stint in the top ten. However, I think they still have enough energy left in them to make it to the first round.

Mike: I would call Aquilla a has-been team, except that they never "were" in the first place. It's been a very long time since we've played them, thirty-five years to be exact. However, we won both of those qualifying matchups in WC6, and we can sure as hell do it again.

Chuck: Grand Master Mark has been around for quite a while, and that is all you can say about them. Expect another mediocre performance.

Mike: Now, this is Turori's first Cup; however, I think we can expect good things out of them. They just won the Baptism of Fire tournament, and that should give them some confidence going into this competition. They'll have to be careful not to get cocky, though.

Chuck: After that, you have four total unknowns -- Foggymushmush, Crabec, TripB, and Ktony. My guess is that they will remain unknowns, falling quite heavily to the more experienced teams in the group.

Mike: So how will Group One shape up? I'm thinking a little bit like this:

[code:1:7cc3b12e66] Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 One Red Dot 18 17 0 1 58 9 49 51
2 Bedistan 18 16 1 1 46 10 36 49
3 The Lowland Clans 18 12 2 4 31 17 14 38
4 Aquilla 18 10 3 5 35 20 15 33
5 Grand master Mark 18 8 4 6 44 22 22 28
6 Turori 18 7 2 9 29 30 -1 23
7 Ktony 18 3 2 13 15 44 -29 11
8 TripB 18 3 2 13 16 55 -39 11
9 Crabec 18 2 3 13 8 38 -30 9
10 Foggymushmush 18 1 3 14 10 47 -37 6[/code:1:7cc3b12e66]

Mike: You'll notice I put ORD at the top. I think the higher-up teams like Bedistan, The Lowland Clans, and Aquilla will probably underestimate them and therefore will be defeated by them. Still, the Lions should only be two points behind them, clear of third-place TLC by nearly a dozen.

Chuck: I don't think the Wolves will do quite that well, Mike...

[code:1:7cc3b12e66] Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Bedistan 18 15 3 0 46 10 36 48
2 The Lowland Clans 18 13 3 2 44 11 33 42
3 One Red Dot 18 12 5 1 40 10 30 41
4 Aquilla 18 11 3 4 45 20 25 36
5 Grand master Mark 18 9 1 8 40 18 22 28
6 Turori 18 9 1 8 31 25 6 28
7 Crabec 18 3 3 12 11 38 -27 12
8 Ktony 18 3 0 15 17 59 -42 9
9 TripB 18 2 2 14 13 49 -36 8
10 Foggymushmush 18 1 3 14 11 58 -47 6[/code:1:7cc3b12e66]

Chuck: Bedistan should have their way with the group, but as we said earlier, TLC and ORD should still qualify with relative ease. Aquilla will probably also do fairly well in this easy group, but just not well enough to go through.

Mike: We seem to be running a little low on time here, so we'll go ahead and take this commercial break. We'll be right back with our picks for the other nine groups; don't go away.

double post

Raptors Claw down Ineptia

Ineptia were unable to keep pace with a strong Raptor Claw side in the first matchday of the 15th edition of the World Cup Qualifiers.

The Raptors fired 3 first half goals to all but bury Ineptia before the break. A fourth was added midway through the second half to end whatever hope Ineptia still clung on to.

The win leaves Raptor Claw 2nd in the group, behind only Jeruselem who thrashed rookie side Boscioto by a score of 7-1. Commerce Heights & Audioslavia, the favorites to top the group, both appeased supporters with 3 points, however the Slaves were given a tough test by up and coming side the Isles of Wohlstand. The groups other match, between Creedence Clearwater and Kipto-Mare, ended in a 2-all draw.


....Raptor Claw's Group

[code:1:2cd5eb3b09]
Audioslavia (5)
Commerce Heights (23)
Jeruselem (31)
Creedence Clearwater (43)
Raptor Claw (68 )
Ineptia (97)
Kipto-Mare (168)
Boscioto (200)
Sportonia (200)
Isles of Wohlstand (200)
[/code:1:2cd5eb3b09]

The Brazillico Advance

Everybody Dies!
...Get slaughtered by Brazillico in Qualifying Opener

By Jake Tartare

We saw very few surprises in Brazillico's first match of qualifying, as they handly went on to defeat the brutally named nation of Everybody Dies.

It became quickly evident why this nation bears such a morbid name, as the team jogged out on the pitch branishing automatic weapons and chanting, "Everybody Dies". With the Chili Bats held at gunpoint, Greg Reaper walked in untouched and scored a goal in a vacant net, putting the away side up 1-0.

The team from Everybody Dies then somehow thought that scoring the first goal would be enough, high-fiving each other wildly with AK-47s hanging from their arms as they jogged backed towards the locker room.

However, somebody forgot to inform that the point of soccer/football was to score the most goals possible, not just put in the opener.

The Chili Bats looked at each other perplexed as they were the only team left on the field. They put three goals in and then clearly took their foot off the gas, as they decided to pass the remainder of the time with a tournament of Milton Bradley's Twister.

Nelson Bilbao emerged as champion and Brazillico won the match 3-1.

After the game, Everybody Dies manager Bill Bloodbath was furious over his team's lack of success. "We had a game plan, but we just didn't execute," said a fuming Bloodbath, "We got our opener, but we forgot to kill them all after! You know... Everybody Dies!?"

Brazillico's opener can hardly be viewed as a tune-up for the rest of the qualification campaign, and they should expect nowhere near that level of ineptitude in their next match, when they face off against Europa Britannia. The Britannians had a devil of a time against the Brazillicans during the last qualification run, collecting only a point in their last two matches against the Bats. However, Europa Britannia look very sharp and Brazillico will have to find their form quickly or risk being left in the dust.

Liverpool England 1 - 0 Jaodom
Press Report below after reactions -
Paul Dussis, FALE Chief: Slani 'ell, we beat a newbie only by the odd goal?
Guy Picciotto, coach: I expect the team to do better, 1-0 is very unsatisfactory.

Decaltre Jomans reports:
In an outstanding perofrmance by visiting newcomers Jaodom, the Philosophers struggled to secure the win. The match was very defensive minded, and the team only had 4 out of 16 - 25% - of their shots on target, compared to Jaodom's 6 out of 10 - 60%.

Eventually, they needed a 77th minute volley from William Boneham, making his World Cup debut at the age of 22, to settle the match. Liverpool England must definitely buck up should they want to qualify.

Crystilakere striker Carlo Romano was the toast of Atlantian Oceania after his brilliant 86th-minute equaliser secured a 1-1 draw in the opening match of the World Cup 15 Qualifiers.

It had been a poor match until the last five minutes when Oaker took the lead off an easy chance after Crystilakere conceded a corner. Unlucky Crystilakere midfielder Maurizio Cavallo turned the poor corner into an Oaker players path, and he made no mistake to beat goalkeeper Emiliano Addis.

But within a minute the match was once again level when Romano chested the ball down, swivelled and left the Oaker keeper helpless. It was the first international goal for debutant Romano, and for the newly renovated Crystilakere National Side.

One minute later there was controversy when the Oaker goalscorer was flattened in the Crystilakere penalty area by a crunching Donato Arrigoni challenge, but the referee waved aside penalty claims.

Final Score: Crystilakere 1 - 1 Oaker


Group Draw Review

[code:1:eaf67d94d4]
Group 6:
Snub Nose 38 (12)
Giant Zucchini (18 )
Squornshelous (27)
EL CID THE HERO (47)
Crystilakere (61)
Oaker (107)
Ascensia (125)
Balti Pie (200)
Rot-Gelb-Grun (200)
Progressive Beans (200)
[/code:1:eaf67d94d4]

Snub Nose 38, Giant Zucchini and Squornshelous make up a power top 3 in the group and are expected to finish in that order at the top of the table. El Cid the Hero is expected to crumble, and if that happens, the Crystals can still pip one of the big 3 to a finals spot with some luck. Oaker and Ascensia may be able to provide the needed upsets, however Balti Pie, Rot-Gelb-Grun and Progressive Beans are expected to perform about as well as their names, Rotten, Beans and like they've eaten Pie all day long.

Spaam score their first win of World Cup XV with a disappointing
performance over Kodia. It wasn't until retiring stiker Eman Olisade scored
in the 89th minute that the Spaamanians broke the 1 all deadlock that had
plagued the two teams throughout the second half. With a new look team
and a new coach, critics are not giving the Spaamanians much hope, with
predictions that they will struggle to qualify. As the nation tries to prevent
from going to war, the citizens of Spaam need something to give them hope.

Turori (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=turori) 0 - 1 Grand Master Mark (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=Grand_Master_Mark)

The Turori (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=turori) Eels entered into their first ever World Cup Qualifying match with high hopes. However, those hopes soon turned into disbelief when the Vilitan (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) Colony learned their first match, against Grand Master Mark, a faltering but sturdy team. It was a similar situation encountered by the Tropics of Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) themselves that led to 720 consecutive goaless minutes for the Jungle Cat national team in their first ever World Cup outing.

However, the fears of Turori (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=turori)ans were soon realized, as the final whistle blew on their World Cup qualifying debut with an unproductive defeat at the hands of Grand Master Mark.

The first half of the match was fairly even, with Maritus Banda, the 36 year old brother of Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) U-21 World Cup Hero Callum Banda, who qualfies due to the pairs Grandmother, twice hitting the bar for the Eels. However, the match went into half time all square with neither side having much else to be proud of.

The second half was a different story, with Grand Master Mark looking the stronger side throughout. Their persistence paid off 20 minutes from time, when captain Percival put the Grand Master Mark National Team in front. From there, a stiff defensive hold prevented Turori (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=turori) from getting any notable chances, and the final whistle blew on the Eels maiden voyage, falling 1-0 to Grand Master Mark.

Sturms open strong, tops Artoonia

Showing a strong opening for the Fifteenth World Cup, the Gesamtkuntswerk Sturms bested Team Artoonia in a rousing 2-1 match earlier today. Key moments in the match include kills made by James Bowie and Tom Hertz, in the fortieth and seventy-seventh minutes of the game. Both goals were made on sweeping flank passes, a manoeuvre favoured greatly by the Sturms this game. Team Artoonia scored in the fifty-fifth minute of the game, utilizing an error made by defenceman Lawrence Conch; Berto Jodelo claims the right to the kill. Fan reactions around Gesamtkuntswerk indicate a high level of energy for their home team, as well as expectations of more wins to come. The next match is the highly-anticipated game against Oglethorpia, slated leader of Group 2.

The proud nation of Stalag 5 does not understand, why it seemed to be banned from international football. Because Stalag 5 is a non-independent nation and the WCC prefers nations from the reserve sign-ups over puppets.

I quote KP from #sport.

[code:1:28b59fad17][17:13:59] <@KP> The World Cup Committee ruling for this Cup was that reserve signups replace puppets and hence Stalag 5, as the last puppet to sign up, was replaced by reserve signup Svecia.
[17:14:00] <@KP> I personally disagree with the ruling in this case, as Svecia signed up after the deadline, and Eauz had specifically closed signups... but at the time, I was not in a position to stop it, and while I am the WCC president now, it is too late to change now.
[17:14:00] <@KP> In the meantime, I would like to wish Mattigool good luck - the least you deserve is to qualify.[/code:1:28b59fad17]

-Note: Quote was edited to remove one unneccessary bit.

But nations that doesn't exist anymore participate: e.g. Grand Master Mark. That's not so fair. :cry:

Brave Blades Lose to Jungle Cats
Starblaydia do themselves proud in 2-1 loss
Taken from the Back page, Corinthian Chronicle (Sports Section)

In the City of Alikki-Corra, Starblaydia were thrust onto the world stage. Their first ever World Cup Qualifier, against experienced opposition in Vilita. The great curved stands and high gantries of the Tivali Ring Stadium were a riot of colour, Green, Orange, Blue, Purple and White.

The Starblaydi fans cheered and applauded as the Vilitan Captain, Santo Kecker, graciously allowed Starblaydia to kick off in their first World Cup Match. Qualifier it may be, but no less significant for that.

The near-full 87,000-seater stadium contained more Starblaydis than expected, and they cheered their team at every one of their passes in the first few minutes. This support, however, was seemingly in vain as Vilita took a hold of the game, keeping possession and starting to make camp outside the final third. Their skill and experience paid off when Jonathon Baledrokadroka was played through by Germán Salomón, putting him past the defence and firing low across the body of Boaz Myhill on 38 minutes.

Dampened but not disheartened, Starblaydia went into the dressing room at half-time just a single goal down. Coming out fresh for the second half, Starblaydia's defence held firm as Vilita tried to increase their lead. This worked in Starblaydia's favour, as from a counter attack, David Bentley's lovely ball from the centre circle put Nikola "Laser" Lazerevski in a great position. Using his pace to get round a defender, Lazaerevski took aim and hit the top corner of the net, past the spectacular dive of Massimo Corsi to equalise for Starblaydia. With forty minutes left, anything could happen.

The teaqms traded blows but in the end, Vilita's superior class showed through. With Enrico Bigon tiring against a five-man midfield, the Jungle Cats broke through with a determined attack, a string of crisp passing made the defence dizzy, leaving young Callum Banda the simplest of tap-ins past a flailing Myhill.

There was nothing Starblaydia could do other than try for a second, as Vilita dropped deep to counter them and niether side managed to score again, despite Starblaydia having three out-and-out strikers on at the end.

A superb debut performance by the Blades saw them lose, away, to very good opposition. Let's just see what happens when the Jungle Cats come to Jader Barbalho Stadium on Match Day 10...

Final Score:
Vilita 2 - 1 Starblaydia
(Baledrokadroka 38, Banda 79) - (Lazerevski 50)

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST

Halted But Not Humbled

Krytenia made an impressive, if largely fruitless, debut in the Fifteenth World Cup yesterday with a narrow two-one defeat at the hands of highly-fancied Lovebug.
Krytenia made a couple of early chances, Ari Smith forcing an athletic save from the Lovebug keeper with a rasping 25-yard effort, but it was the home side who took the lead as <CF9> capitalised on a poor pass from Clayton Lormer and unleashed an unstoppable drive past Alan Munitis. The shot was so good, several Krytenian players simply applauded as the Lovebug striker headed back to the centre circle. Neither side could make a breakthrough as the first half ground to a halt.
In the second half, the Celestials' midfield seemed to have suddenly become superstars as they ran rings round their hosts - welcomed by chants of "It's Just Like Watching Brazillico" from the 4,000 or so visiting fans. Those fans were rewarded six minutes into the second half as Colin Ulvæus latched onto an inch-perfect pass from Cecil Poldov, and, seeing the keeper off his line, performed a delicate chip that clipped the crossbar and dropped into the net.
The remaining 40 minutes saw both sides create and spurn chances to take all three points, however it was Lovebug who made the final breakthrough. Poldov fouled <RM8> thirty yards out, and from the free-kick <CM7> unleashed a shot. The ball caught the wall, and this was enough to deflect the ball past Munitis and give Lovebug the victory.
The final whistle blew, and here we saw the great things football can do, as both sides enjoyed a joint banquet in a local restaurant to celebrate what was an impeccable game of football.
Ed Bye, the Celestials' manager, said after the game: "We acquitted ourselves well, but the skills gap showed right at the end. We will take a lot of positives from this game, and hopefully we can steal a point or three from the Tadjikis in the next game."


SCORES:
Lovebug..............2 (<CF9> 21, <MF7> 82)
Krytenia..............1 (Ulvæus 51)
HT: 1-0
TEAMS:
Lovebug: To Be Confirmed

Krytenia: Munitis - Lewison, Lormer, Grüber, Livornetto - Poldov, Byers, Guarado (capt), Cujetkovic - Smith, Ulvæus

Fixtures:
@ Lovebug L 2-1 (Ulvæus)
v Tadjikistan
@ Larkinia
@ Rampagonia
v Slaikau
@ Artoonia
v Oglethorpia
@ Gesamtkuntswerk
v Dennisov
v Lovebug
@ Tadjikistan
v Larkinia
v Rampagonia
@ Slaikau
v Artoonia
@ Oglethorpia
v Gesamtkuntswerk
@ Dennisov

Other News
Sportswear company JMC announced record profits this quarter in the wake of the company being an Official Partner of WCXV. CEO John Rodriguez said: "We hope to make a lot of international sales from this venture."

Tadjikistan - Larkinia 4-0

A good start for the Tadjiks

Dushanbe - Maybe the players didnt like the realistic prediction we made, instead of 2-0 they ended this match with 4-0. Not only impressive but also a Tadjik record.
The most important man on the field was Cherniakhovskij, who made three of the four goals, of which two with an assist from Pliiev and one from Zhukov. The fourth goal was the work of Zhukov, after a rush on the left flank.

There is not much to be said about the group right now as it is only the first match of a total of 18. Many things can still change, but these 4 goals might come in handy later.
Now the national team prepares to visit Krytenia for matchday 2 and try to take another 3 points. Altough Krytenia is ranked lower then Larkinia, it will still be a challenge as the Tadjik team has to play on enemy terrain. None the less, the fans expect their team to win in Krytenia, even when they heard the Krytenian manager say he hopes to steal points from Tadjikistan.


Matches and results:
MD1:Tadjikistan - Larkinia W 4-0
MD2:Krytenia - Tadjikistan
MD3:Tadjikistan - Slaikau
MD4:Artoonia - Tadjikistan
MD5:Tadjikistan - Oglethorpia
MD6:Gesamtkuntswerk - Tadjikistan
MD7:Tadjikistan - Dennisov
MD8:Lovebug - Tadjikistan
MD9:Tadjikistan - Rampagoonia
MD10:Larkinia - Tadjikistan
MD11:Tadjikistan - Krytenia
MD12:Slaikau - Tadjikistan
MD13:Tadjikistan - Artoonia
MD14:Oglethorpia - Tadjikistan
MD15:Tadjikistan - Gesamtkuntswerk
MD16:Dennisov - Tadjikistan
MD17:Tadjikistan - Lovebug
MD18:Rampagoonia - Tadjikistan

Server does it again

And this is the result, a double post. The server should be put to justice for these acts of terrorism!

The proud nation of Stalag 5 does not understand, why it seemed to be banned from international football. Because Stalag 5 is a non-independent nation and the WCC prefers nations from the reserve sign-ups over puppets.

I quote KP from #sport.

[code:1:a8528ecaf3][17:13:59] <@KP> The World Cup Committee ruling for this Cup was that reserve signups replace puppets and hence Stalag 5, as the last puppet to sign up, was replaced by reserve signup Svecia.
[17:14:00] <@KP> I personally disagree with the ruling in this case, as Svecia signed up after the deadline, and Eauz had specifically closed signups... but at the time, I was not in a position to stop it, and while I am the WCC president now, it is too late to change now.
[17:14:00] <@KP> In the meantime, I would like to wish Mattigool good luck - the least you deserve is to qualify.[/code:1:a8528ecaf3]

-Note: Quote was edited to remove one unneccessary bit.

But nations that doesn't exist anymore participate: e.g. Grand Master Mark. That's not so fair. :cry:

did you look at the scores page?


Stalag 5 2-2 Nastic 2


You are in, someone dropped out :)

DSR
Druid
Sports
Review

CAN THEY DRU IT THIS TIME?


Well, after his spell in the MAD House just under four years ago, the medication given to the Druid manager Tim Welsh seems to give him confidence never seen in any Druid ever. But is this confidence he is showing justified, or will it all end up in disappointment again? Qualifying got underway last week, but before it did, we askedThe Daily Druid's Wayne Ottgunn-Irwin to give us his opinion on the Druids' qualifying hopes...

Well, we do this before every other World Cup, so we'll se how we'll do this time by taking each opponent in the Druids qualifying group to see how things will pan out, and probably come out with the same end product as usual. But we'll see, shall we?

First up are newcomers Coruna. We know precious little about Coruna, and, unfortunately, we fear the situation might be similar after our two matches. I know it's not something I say very often, but we could see two Druid wins here.

Next up are another new team, The Home Islands. This looks to be a tougher encounter than the Coruna games, with our opponents already showing that their will to give a good account of themselves. We could see The Home Islands get something from at least one of their games against the Druids.

The Druids' true bogey team, Brazillico, are their third opponents. In the countless number of Cup of Harmony games between the two, the Druids only won when the Brazillican team were stopped from playing by the authorities in Melmond. Otherwise, Brazillico win this fixture every time by two or three goals.

Europa Brittania have historically had one of the best teams in the World, so despite not being quite the team they once were, they will always be a force to reckoned with. Expect a close game at The Hole, but a thrashing away.

Everybody Dies looks to be one of the more dangerous games the Druids. If the Druids can get out alive, then expect them to go unbeaten here.

Another dangerous pair of games could be the ones against Melmond. Not that Melmond is a dangerous country, far from it. The danger could come from a small minority of Druids who have been reported to be angry after the tradgedy at the two teams' game at the Cup of Harmony in Vilita. Hopefully, though, these potential troublemakers will be prevented from spoiling the day for two nations, who are not usually the types of nation where such things would happen. Meanwhile, on the pitch, a pair of draws seems the most likely outcome.

Intelligent Madness are the typical type of team that do well against the Druids - one that lurks in the background, then, before you know it, they've been, gone and taken the three points.

Turnia look to be the dark horses of the group. Two games in which the Druids would think were easily winnable will be far from it. Expect a couple of close games, with no more than one goal deciding either of the two encounters.

Finally are Lykaia. Despite being ranked slightly higher than the other teams in their first world Cup, Lykaia still look there for the taking. If the Druids need to win their last match to go through, then they could choke in the last match, otherwise it'll be two wins.

Group 10 predictions:
1st Brazillico [9]
2nd Europa Brittania [14]
3rd Melmond [48]
----------------------------
4th NEWI Cefn Druids [35] [Record - W7, D7, L4, Pts 28]
5th Turnia
6th Intelligent Madness [66]
7th The Home Islands [200]
8th Lykaia [184]
9th Everybody Dies [200]
10th Coruna [200]

Matchday 1: NEWI Cefn Druids v Coruna
Matchday 2: The Home Islands v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 3: NEWI Cefn Druids v Brazillico
Matchday 4: Europa Brittania v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 5: NEWI Cefn Drudis v Everybody Dies
Matchday 6: NEWI Cefn Druids v Melmond
Matchday 7: Intelligent Madness v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 8: NEWI Cefn Druids v Turnia
Matchday 9: Lykaia v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 10: Coruna v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 11: NEWI Cefn Druids v The Home Islands
Matchday 12: Brazillico v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 13: NEWI Cefn Druids v Europa Brittania
Matchday 14: Everybody Dies v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 15: Melmond v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 16: NEWI Cefn Druids v Intelligent Madness
Matchday 17: Turnia v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 18: NEWI Cefn Druids v Lykaia

All home games to be played at The Hole, Mawr.

The proud nation of Stalag 5 does not understand, why it seemed to be banned from international football. Because Stalag 5 is a non-independent nation and the WCC prefers nations from the reserve sign-ups over puppets.

I quote KP from #sport.

[code:1:a8d0d44033][17:13:59] <@KP> The World Cup Committee ruling for this Cup was that reserve signups replace puppets and hence Stalag 5, as the last puppet to sign up, was replaced by reserve signup Svecia.
[17:14:00] <@KP> I personally disagree with the ruling in this case, as Svecia signed up after the deadline, and Eauz had specifically closed signups... but at the time, I was not in a position to stop it, and while I am the WCC president now, it is too late to change now.
[17:14:00] <@KP> In the meantime, I would like to wish Mattigool good luck - the least you deserve is to qualify.[/code:1:a8d0d44033]

-Note: Quote was edited to remove one unneccessary bit.

But nations that doesn't exist anymore participate: e.g. Grand Master Mark. That's not so fair. :cry:No - actually, if we enforce the rules, "Ex-nations" are supposed to be purged from the list before we start.

So...

RULE 21 Ex-nations will be replaced by real participants (those who signed up in excess of the number who will be participating and are on the "waiting list", if we have one). If an ex-nation cannot be replaced, it will be assigned to a qualifying group and play - but regardless of the final outcome will not qualify - the next side down the list in that group will replace it as a qualifier. In the extremely unlikely event that ALL the other nations in the group are ex-nations, then a competition between the "next" side in each other group will be run, the winner qualifying. The Communications Committeewill notify the hosts of any "ex-nations" they find.

and...

Uh-oh
Nation Not Found: "Grand Master Mark"

and GMM is participating...in Group 1

perhaps that needs to be fixed? :wink:

The proud nation of Stalag 5 does not understand, why it seemed to be banned from international football. Because Stalag 5 is a non-independent nation and the WCC prefers nations from the reserve sign-ups over puppets.

I quote KP from #sport.

[code:1:a0e448de24][17:13:59] <@KP> The World Cup Committee ruling for this Cup was that reserve signups replace puppets and hence Stalag 5, as the last puppet to sign up, was replaced by reserve signup Svecia.
[17:14:00] <@KP> I personally disagree with the ruling in this case, as Svecia signed up after the deadline, and Eauz had specifically closed signups... but at the time, I was not in a position to stop it, and while I am the WCC president now, it is too late to change now.
[17:14:00] <@KP> In the meantime, I would like to wish Mattigool good luck - the least you deserve is to qualify.[/code:1:a0e448de24]

-Note: Quote was edited to remove one unneccessary bit.

But nations that doesn't exist anymore participate: e.g. Grand Master Mark. That's not so fair. :cry:

did you look at the scores page?


Stalag 5 2-2 Nastic 2


You are in, someone dropped out :)

I knew, that there is some higher justice. :D

The Daily Druid

PO AND CO RUN AMOK
Wayne Ottgunn-Irwin at The Hole for NEWI Cefn Druids 2 Coruna 0

NEWI Cefn Druids overcame Coruna by two goals to nil yesterday in one of the easiest games they have played in their history. They even managed to play in the classic Druid style of being absolutely crap, and still managed to score two goals, through Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po and Trevor Belmore. The most comical moment was Belmore's goal, which took six deflections off opposition players before hitting the back of the net, while the confused Corunan keeper fell over his own legs and cracked his head off the post. Which has gotta hurt.

Meanwhile, the Druids' membership of the WCC Communications Committee is under threat, as it appears that their member could be the one who failed in his duty to report ex-nation Grand Master Mark to the hosts. Investigations are ongoing.

GOVERNMENT START SEARCH FOR NEW REGION
By Ian Question-Mark

The President of NEWI Cefn Druids, Trevor the Druid, has declared his desire to move his nation to a new region. In a statement read out by his press officer this afternoon, he said, "The Pie Filled Void of NEWI Cefn Druids has changed in such a manner from the nation it was ten years ago. Then we were one of the leading creators of pies in not only the world, but the Axis of Absurdity. But now, it seems, pies don't seem so in demand in the region, as nations seem to have other absurd agendas that really aren't quite the same as they used to be. So it is time that we moved on, though we have no idea where we should go. We have friends all around the world, while our only enemy vanished off the map a while back. The decision will be a tough one, but when we have made it, then we shall leave, and leave this place for good. Or for a while, at least, until it perks up a bit."

THIS IS NOT HERE

The KaMaRi Update

Qualification endangered?
The rejistanian national team is no place for optimists, at least it looks like it. Analysts are predicting a hard struggle in the fight for qualification after the first match against the team of Tim Jenkins Europro, played in the Na~ovi Nanti stadium in nanti kansu, was won by late luck. The 'newcomers' of Rejistania and the newcomers of the utterly esperanto-sounding nation were surprisingly even in skill and endurance. Ninu Juru conceded his first goal in an international match after only 5 minutes when striker Tim Jenkins got past the Orange-Blue defense. The Lasane came back in the injury time of the first half when Lyku Ju equalized the score after a corner kick of Ita Syku. In the 75th minute, Laxtu Takil gave Syku Lyku the first appearnce in the cup. Syku Lyku is not related to SyLy who played from WC9 to WC12 in the national team and converted the last and deciding penalty shot in the final of WC12. Actually Syku Lyku does not like this comparism. He says: "Is' just that Syku Lyku is no uncommon name, is'... I hate being compared to him even if I play on a similar position!" In the 87th minute, his long-distance kick, which either went in by luck or by skill merely reminded of karelian Xeseja Su in the early years of rejistanian soccer. The entire match was hard-fought and very levelled, the Europros and the Orange-blues had both many chances but only a few good chances, in the end, it was Syku Lyku who was perhaps deciding.

The result:
Rejistania (Ju 45th, Lyku 87th)
TJE (Jenkins 5th)

...and finally, the Progressive Beans football team... *phrrrt* ...excuse me there... the Progressive Beans Footba... *phrrrrrrrt* ...sorry... Progressive Beans lost... *phrrrrrrrrt* ...lost...

*we lose signal, with the following message displayed on-screen:*

THE CURRENT PROGRAMME HAS BEEN POSTPONED DUE TO DANGEROUS LEVELS OF METHANE IN THE STUDIO.

*after a few minutes, the broadcast continues*

...ah, we seem to be back with you now. Where were we? Oh yes, We lost 3-0 to Snub Nose 38. More from us later, when... *phrrrt* ...sorry... when we'll... *phhrrrrrrrrrrrrrrttt* ...um, goodnight.

Welcome to Dragon Child NewsNet's live web conference room. Today's speakers are Jonathan Triggs, manager of the KT MPLG national football team, captain Louis Martin, and striker Marian Knight.

KilledBill - Ladies and gentlemen, please observe the rules of order here. The guests will make their statement first, then the press will get their chance to ask questions, then a couple from non-press sources. And now, I turn the room over to Mr. Triggs.

Triggs - Thank you, Mr. Muerte. The Reality Storm has just returned from Cockbill Street, where as many of you know, we were defeated 3-0. This loss was to an overwhelmingly superior team. However, there were times where we just didn't play to the best of our ability. The second goal for CS was a perfect example. Michael committed an unnecessary foul in the penalty area, got carded, and they converted right before the halftime whistle blew. All in all, though, our side played hard, and really started to show some strength in the last 20 minutes. I look forward to the game tomorrow, hopefully we've got a chance to win.

CapMartin - My sentiments echo that of our manager. We worked our butts off, and they were just the better side. But, you know, that's football. You win some, you lose some. When they come to Miralan, we'll know more about them, and we should be able to give them a run for their money. Marian?

MMKnight - I can't really think of much that hasn't already been said. I'll admit I blew that shot in the third minute, but other than that, I fought as hard as I could, and they were just too much.

KilledBill - Alright, we'd like to open up the questioning to members of the press.

:StA:Mason - Mr. Triggs, were you satisfied with the play of goaltender Lucas Sawyer?

Triggs - Yes, in fact, I was. He made a couple of key saves in the second half, and the balls that did go in, I don't think anyone could have stopped. He'll stay in for now.

:StJ:Hallid - This one's for all of you. Where would you say the team needs improvement, if anywhere?

Triggs - I really don't see the need. This side is made of the best players in KT MPLG. We've trained, we've worked as a team, and we've just had our first international match. All we need to work on is not making simple mistakes under the pressure.

CapMartin - Well, if you had asked me this question at halftime, I would have said that the whole team needed a little more training, but I was very impressed by the way we pushed the ball up near the end of the match. We just need to play to the best we can.

MMKnight - It's a tough question. I'd say if anyone needs a bit of improvement, it's me, but I'll leave that question up to the people who know the game a bit better.

:KTBS:Gunnar - What do you think you'll remember most about this experience?

MMKnight - May I go first?

Triggs - Go for it.

MMKnight - Well, as soon as I came onto the pitch, right in front of me was a brown and white banner that said "Knight, Svensson and Wright: Why Goals Happen." It's one of those things that lifts your spirit. OF course, I then proceeded to shank an open shot.

:DCNN:Ryuko - What is the status of Marcus Wellenburg, and when might we see him on the pitch again?

Triggs - You know as well as I, Miss Onover, that's confidential team business. Any more questions?

KilledBill - Very well, if anyone else would like to submit a question, you are now free to do so.

SelianFootyFan - Captain Martin, what do you think of the squad's chances against The Belmore Family?

CapMartin - Well, we've got the homefield advantage, but TBF is a very experienced team. I'd say it will come down to their forwards against our defenders. Hopefully we can hold them long enough to put a couple past their keeper.

FreezinLisa - ummm...i was just wondering about the goal cockbill street made in the 18th minute. to me it seems like kalin could have done a better job keeping her man out in the corner.

CapMartin - She did the best she could, she just got beat. You've got to remember, Lisa, these are some of the best players in the universe we're up against.

SarahS - Great job everyone. I'd just like to ask one question to Mr. Triggs. After watching your team play, what do you think of your chances of making the Cup proper?

Triggs - SarahS, eh? That who I think it is? Anyway, I don't think we're at that level yet, but fourth or fifth in the group sounds about right. We might be able to pull some tricks out of our hats yet.

KilledBill - Thank you, everyone, for your time and questions. Our next web conference is in two days, and our guest will be T. C. Rayinne, who will be speaking on the decline of Selianism. Once again, thank you.


From: MMKnight@realitystorm.li7
To: Ryuko@dragonchild.li7

Ask Briana.

Jeruselem Government News

Crusaders hand out route to Boscioto

World Cup rookies Boscioto got routed 7-1 by Jeruselem to put behind their loss in the WC 14 Cup of Harmony loss to Vilita in the final. Boscioto scored their first ever goal, but their keeper spent the game shouting at his defenders and picking up the ball from the back of the net.

Jeruselem 7 (Becks 2, Kewell 2, M Goldstein, Jones, Hapsgold)
Boscioto 1 (Someone)

A Win is a Win
Melmond Recovers From Slow Start to Defeat Lykaia 2-1
By Ian Oioi of the Faasen Times

FAASEN, MELMOND—After enjoying the nice, warm hospitality of a well-earned vacation in the sunny and warm Tropics of Vilita, the Fearless Farmers seemed unprepared to return to their home country to play the first match of the third qualifying campaign. They were even more unprepared for the conditions they had to face. It was an unseasonably cold night in Faasen, with temperatures around the freezing mark and a whipping wind blowing through MPNK Stadium. After being in such warm weather, the Fearless Farmers seemed to feel less at home than the opposing side.
The opposing side is the Lykaia National Team. This is their first ever World Cup qualifying match in their history. They have played international at the Baptism of Fire tournament, but that competition proved to be too hot for them as Lykaia couldn’t take the heat. If they couldn’t do anything against the likes of Oaker, what chance did they have against the most highly touted Melmond side yet?
Lykaia itself is basically a nation in permafrost, and with the unseasonably cold conditions in Faasen, they seemed very much at home. However, the talent landscape for Lykaia is as barren as the tundra in which they come from. That is except for one Mt. McKinley’s sized ray of hope for the Lykaia side. That comes from captain Butcher Icebone. Icebone is truly one physical player and extremely intimidating. No matter your size or skill, he is not afraid to push you around. The rusty Melmond side was ripe for the picking for his brute force as they were rather ineffective in the first half as Butcher Icebone seemed to be everywhere.
Whenever Melmond tried to start a play in order to get quality shots on goal, Butcher Icebone was always in the middle of it, using his physical prowess to push the Melmond midfielders aside and take the ball for himself. When the midfield was successful, the rather stocky Icebone used his surprising speed to get over to stop any strikes the Melmond attack would make.
Icebone was not only effective in the midfield and on defence, he scored the only goal for Lykaia as the Melmond defence seemed to underestimate the big guy’s speed as he ran past them. He makes a solid strike which Xtfuinxm got a fingertip on, but the ball went into the net anyway. Butcher Icebone’s goal at the 37th minute puts an excited Lykaia side up 1-nil over the heavily favored Fearless Farmers. As the half time whistle blowed, the sold out crowd of 58,750 started making high-pitched whistles to show their displeasure at their performance thus far. The stadium appeared to be smoking, but it was just the collective frozen breaths of the displeased fans.
Hoping to spark up the 12th man, Manager Felix Coostatlwak makes a change on defence. Defender Scott Cheney has proven to be a little erratic thus far, so he decided to put in defender for the hometown Faasen Oranges Phael Survigosis. He will be playing on the same side of defence as his club teammate and Faasen native Nina Steen. Hopefully this chemistry can stop Icebone from scoring again.
However, Icebone continued to chill Melmond’s hopes for a win until he makes one bone-headed mistake. There is a reason why he is called “Butcher.” He has a nasty temper that rivals infamous former Melmond National Team defender Paul “Edgy” Shields. However, Icebone is much bigger than Shields, so he could possibly do more damage. Fortunately, that was not the case with Melmond striker Chris Owen, who was rather injured but not to the extent of Shields infamous high tackle on former Tanah Burung striker Theys Eluay.
Chris Owen received an alert pass from midfielder Critandi Unne who found him open with only a Lykaia defender and goalkeeper stopping him from the net. He easily sidesteps the overcommitted defender and it is only him and the goalkeeper. Suddenly, Icebone speeds up and makes a rather high tackle on Chris Owen. Owen rolls his ankle and you hear a loud crack. The crowd gasps as they see Owen rolling around on the frozen pitch clutching his ankle. The deafening silence was temporarily interrupted when the referee showed Butcher Icebone the red card and the door at the 60th minute. Surprisingly, Chris Owen didn’t need the ambulance to come on the field as he was helped by two trainers to walk off. He has gotten a bone chip in his ankle and will be out indefinitely. Butcher Icebone will be out for the next two games.
Melmond now has the one-player advantage and now that Lykaia’s only talented player is out of the game, Melmond had the clear advantage and dominated the rest of the way. Striker Mornakh the Bloody Handed came in the match to replace the injured Chris Owen and he was a difference maker. Mornakh the Bloody Handed took advantage of his physical abilities over the Lykaia defence and got in easy position to strike a ball right past the lightly-challenged thus far Lykaia goalkeeper. Mornakh the Bloody Handed scores the equaliser at the 71st minute as the score is now tied.
But it wouldn’t be tied for long as the Cornellby City Connection got together to put the Fearless Farmers up for good. Melmond and Cornellby City of Audioslavia defender Jonsi Torrini was ready to kick the corner. The Lykaia defence was preparing for his famous Acosta-Audioslavia arc. But what they got was a deadly accurate corner in which only his club teammate at Cornellby City Mornakh the Bloody Handed could reach. He heads it in rather easily past the Lykaia goalkeeper. Melmond takes the lead at the 83rd minute and will keep it for the rest of the game. Melmond narrowly escapes their own underachieving and the Fearless Farmer faithful can breathe in a frozen sigh of relief.

Goals
Icebone, LYK 37th
Bloody Handed, MEL 71st
Bloody Handed, MEL 83rd

Cards
Icebone, LYK 60th

Standings

Other Group 10 Results
Brazillico 3 – Everybody Dies 1
Europa Brittania 4 – The Home Islands 1
NEWI Cefn Druids 2 – Coruna 0
Intelligent Madness 3 – Turnia 0

[code:1:cc6e87286e]Group 10
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Europa Brittania 3 1 0 0 4:1 3
2. Intelligent Madness 3 1 0 0 3:0 3
3. Brazillico 3 1 0 0 3:1 2
4. NEWI Cefn Druids 3 1 0 0 2:0 2
5. Melmond 3 1 0 0 2:1 1
6. Lykaia 0 0 0 1 1:2 -1
7. Coruna 0 0 0 1 0:2 -2
8. Everybody Dies 0 0 0 1 1:3 -2
9. Turnia 0 0 0 1 0:3 -3
10. The Home Islands 0 0 0 1 1:4 -3[/code:1:cc6e87286e]

Melmond Team Stats
Goals: Mornakh the Bloody Handed (2)
Cards: None

Melmond National Team Schedule

v Lykaia (MPNK Stadium, Faasen) W 2-1
@ Coruna
v The Home Islands (Lifedonations Stadium, Morales)
@ Brazillico
v Europa Brittania (Melmond Bowl, Melmond City)
@ NEWI Cefn Druids
v Everybody Dies (MelAir Park, Lee)
v Intelligent Madness (Frankndottir Stadium, Acosta)
@ Turnia
@ Lykaia
v Coruna (White Bread Dome, Suburbia)
@ The Home Islands
v Brazillico (Microcosm Football Colossuseum, Aldi)
@ Europa Brittania
v NEWI Cefn Druids (Feliz-Unne Stadium, Unne)
@ Everybody Dies
@ Intelligent Madness
v Turnia (Makinshakes Stadium, O’Connor)

Next Game
at Coruna

Melmond better be awakened by the slow Lykaia start if they want to win against this up-and-coming Coruna side away from home. Coruna played like absolute shite against NEWI Cefn Druids in their first ever game, which included an injury to goalkeeper Octavo Xaval Castillo tripping over his own legs and hitting his head on the goalpost. Mega ouch! Manolo Paton Sanxenxo will be taking his place in the match against Melmond. This will be a much warmer climate in Coruna compared to the unseasonably cold Faasen. Coruna as well as the slow-starting Fearless Farmers are expected to recover from their bad play. Felix Coostatlwak is starting former teammates at Melmond City Blues Mornakh the Bloody Handed and Naol Keelafin at striker while Chris Owen is out with injury. They have good chemistry on the pitch.

GK- Snhp Xtfuinxm
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Sergio Ortiz
D- Scott Cheney
D- Nina Steen
M- Martin Goodwin
M- Critandi Unne
M- Camui Arai
M- Cristina Antunez
F- Mornakh the Bloody Handed
F- Naol Keelafin

Tickets are sold out, but if you are visiting Coruna, make sure to bring the sunscreen. The people are very courteous and friendly there so you should have a fun time in the nation.

The National Team of the Unholy Alliance of The Evil Umpire has reloaded! Victory will be ours! Mwhahahahaaha...ha!

Wait a minute, it started already! Why didn't you tell me! Get The Redavic Union you fools! Curses, we tied!

Turnia City Tribune

World Cup XV Matchday 1 Report
Max Riodondo

Intelligent Madness 3 Turnia 0... Shocked and Stunned

Could the Dragons have been tired after the CoH? Overworked? Who knows... but the national team looked dreadful and lifeless against Intelligent Madness in matchday one. During preperations, things looked absolutely possitve and ready to go, "I... I, really don't know what to say. I didn't think there was that much of a talent divide between us, perhaps I was wrong" stated a clearly stunned HC Paul Odle after the game.

"No mater what happens, we will be sticking to our per-cup formations. I say that now, but... I am only the offensive coach", said Paul Cantilliere.

There is no need for knee-jerk reactions as of yet. This is a blow to the team and a most unexpected one, but going off half-cocked after only one game will not help a thing. "Sure, this stings and makes me want to question myself, but it is only one game. No need to panic yet" said GK Martin Villarreal.

I asked HC Odle if he thought the team was over-confident coming into the game, "We may have been riding a bit too high, yes. But I can tell you this, it was a wake-up call. If we were cocky before, that is all gone. If anything, we will be more focused than ever before."

What goes up must come down, and what goes down must come up. Not to fear Turnia, it IS only one game.

As the chair of the communications committee I'd like to clarify, Grand Master Mark was not found to be an ex-nation when we sent out telegrams two days prior to the start of the cup.

DAILY CROCODILE

"Greatest footballing region" issue settled

Once, there was some debate as to which region was the home of football greatness. Now, the debate is settled. The latest WCC rankings have Emerald Heights sides in three of the top four spots and five of the top ten. The lowest-ranked country in the region is number nine in the world. The region is home to the defending Cup champion and the previous winner.

Hopes are high that this will be Tanah Burung's year to be the fourth Emerald Heights side to win a Cup. The dream formula goes like this: the Crocodiles in a rebuilding year were bouyed by playing south of the border in Kingsford. They got their best finish in forty years before being knocked out by a frighteneing squad from Total n Utter Insanity. This year, they are expected to top their qualifying group and hope for a draw to play in Eauz, where they'll hope home fans make all the difference.

"One game at a time," said oreadest, returning for his second coaching campaign and refusing to be drawn in to questions about how far this year's Crocs will go.

But the first game promised well. Playing in the Naitonal Stadium, the Crocs -- controversially, playing with the identical starting line-up to the last Cup -- had no difficulty in taking a 3-0 win. With second-seeded Halfassedstates being held to a draw, the campaign is off to a solid start.

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST

Four Off As Celestials Crash

AFTER all the trash talk, all the hype, all the blind hatred worked up in the hearts of the Celestials' fans, the inevitable happened at the People's Stadium yesterday in the game against Tadjikistan.
Krytenia went in all guns blazing, not a good idea as it turned out as Zhukov put the visitors in front nine minutes in.
But it was on the half hour that things really kicked off. Wes Byers went clattering in on Terekhin, who was none too happy about it. A heated argument turned into a boxing match, Byers and Terekhin both throwing some meaty punches. Gromov waded in to defend Terekhin, Harry Van Vossen rushed to Byers' side, and the game was delayed for nearly ten minutes as the four men proceeded to attempt to knock seven bells out of each other. Eventually, the Kingsfordian referee managed to get things under control, and stewards frogmarched the four players into their seperate dressing rooms to cool off.
The match was somewhat of an anti-climax after that, Zhukov adding a second late on, meaning that Krytenia are now 0 for 2.
Manager Ed Bye: "There is going to be some b****ck-busting in training tomorrow. We cannot let our discipline fail us like that again."
It's Larkinia away in Game Three, and Krytenia have a fair chance of points against a team ranked very close to them.

SCORES:
Krytenia..............0
Tadjikistan...........2 (Zhukov 9,75)
HT: 0-1
TEAMS:
Tajikistan: Yashin - Aleinikov, Demianenko, Shaposhnikov, Gromov - Pliiev, Terekhin, Biriuzov, Luchinsky - Zhukov, Cherniakhovskij

Krytenia: Munitis - Lewison, Lormer, Grüber, Livornetto - Poldov, Byers, Guarado (capt), Van Vossen - Smith, Ulvæus

Fixtures:
@ Lovebug L 2-1 (Ulvæus)
v Tadjikistan L 0-2
@ Larkinia
@ Rampagonia
v Slaikau
@ Artoonia
v Oglethorpia
@ Gesamtkuntswerk
v Dennisov
v Lovebug
@ Tadjikistan
v Larkinia
v Rampagonia
@ Slaikau
v Artoonia
@ Oglethorpia
v Gesamtkuntswerk
@ Dennisov

After two defeats, in the IoW National Football Team locker room:

"You all are a bunch of low down shit shovelers. Next time you step onto that damned playing field, I want you all to act like its life or death god damnit. I want you to make them eat dirt through their nostrils and I want you to WIN!!! Yall got that!? You all better fuckin win!!!" shouted the coach, a black, former drill sargeant, who has a pasttime in soccer. "Now give me a 'YES COACH!' you little maggots"

The team shouts in unison "YES COACH!!!". There is a knock on the door of the locker room, immediately after. The coach goes to the door and answers its. To his surprise, its 2 Red Guards, in uniforms and all.

Slowly, a broad figure, General Alexei Hessinger himself steps between the guards, both of which follow him inside. "Take a seat, coach" says Hessinger in his low, serious voice. The coach staggers back and sits. The team is shocked, having never met Hessinger ever before, personally. They have all seen him on their televisions, but not in person.

"Wh...why are you hear, sir?" speaks one of the many team members.

"Son, I am here to congratulate you on your good effort thus far. You young men ought to be proud of yourself. This was your first match ever, internationally, and you only lost by one, single point, which to me is damn good for a first try. That is why, my guards here, will be awarding you all the Civilian Star of Honor, the highest medal a civilian can recieve in the nation. Not only did you do your best, but you did decently well." Hessinger says solemnly.

Soon after, the guards hand out the medals from a box, and saying 'congratulations' to each one. The team puts them in their lockers, and locks them. The coach looks jealously at his players as they recieve them.

"And for you coach," Hessinger speaks, "you'll be getting a gift as well upon your return." The coach nods to this.

"Thank you sir, I am, as well as the team, honored to meet you" speaks the coach soon after.

"I must be leaving now. Guards, lets move out" Says Hessinger, turning around and leaving the locker room with his guards, shutting the doors behind as well."

The team and coach calmly review their their games on video to hopefully improve the outcome of the next match, and to devise newer strategies, the mood having been calmed by Hessinger.

Return of the Zucchinis:
Episode 1: The Nationwide Conference

The Snub Nose 38 players are in their dressing room, where they are being briefed by their captain, J.W.

J.W.: My initial assessment is that they will all die. They are stupid. They are stupid (dramatic pause) and they are condemned. The Zucchinis, they always depend on a method what I call...stupid, silly.

Bentley: How would you know?

J.W.: Of course I know. I play against them every week. Their defence is in shambles, their shooting, they can’t shoot for nuts, it’s either wide or weak, we can beat them with ease. In fact, just last week we defeated one of their league teams…I think it was, Defenceless Toilet F.C., we killed them off 383-0. The Zucchinis are easy opposition. Just take it easy…


Mr Woo: Welcome to this coverage of the big match of the group, Snub Nose 38 against Giant Zucchini. With me is the venerable Sir Bobby Robson. So, Sir Bobby, what do you think about this match up?

Sir Bobby: Eighteen months ago Snub Nose 38 were arguably one of the best three teams in Europe, and that would include Kingsford, Bedistan, Brazillico and anybody else if you like, so anything from 1-0 to 2-0 would be a nice result. The first 90 minutes are the most important.

Mr Woo: And with that, the 2 teams kick off for this sizzling World Cup qualifier.

42 minutes into the match…

Mr Woo: And it’s Oog with the save, Quk clears, the ball falls to Urk in front of the centre circle, he charges towards the penalty area, Eldorado catches his shin…

Sir Bobby: Denis Law once kicked me at Wembley in front of the Queen in an international. I mean, no man is entitled to do that, really.

Mr Woo: But Urk gets up and continues to chase the ball, he’s one-on-one with J.W., and coolly slotted into the bottom corner there. This is fantastic to watch.

46 minutes into the match…

Mr Woo: And that’s the half time whistle, and the Zucchinis are ahead by 1 goal, courtesy of the legend Urk, and some brilliant counterattacking from the Zucchinis.

Sir Bobby: He's very fast and if he gets a yard ahead of himself nobody will catch him. But in a year's time, he's a year older.

Mr Woo: We will be back with the second half.

63 minutes into the match…

Mr Woo: And Yew Sei Biu is being substituted here, Phoot is coming on, and Yew doesn’t look pleased.

Sir Bobby: Players never know why they are taken off or substituted…until they become managers.

78 minutes into the match…

Mr Woo: And it’s Phoot on the ball, he’s felled by Doozer!

Sir Bobby: The little lad jumped like a salmon and tackled like a ferret.

Mr Woo: And it’s Kerrnigit over the free kick, and it’s curled into the top corner, J.W. can’t get to it, and the Zucchinis are 2-0 up.

89 minutes into the match…

Mr Woo: Gung, short one to Poom, he propels it into the area.

Sir Bobby: They are playing the short ball and they are playing the long ball. I think long and short balls is what football is all about.

Mr Woo: And Urk, shakes off his marker, and the volley sweetly into the net, J.W. with absolutely no chance of catching that.

Sir Bobby: What can I say about Urk? Urk is Urk, and he has been Urk since the year dot.

92 minutes into the match…

Mr Woo: And that’s the final whistle, and the Zucchinis have won by a whopping 3 goals to nil against Snub Nose 38.

Sir Bobby: Their football was exceptionally good, and they played some good football.

Mr Woo: And with that, Woo, out.

------------------------TO BE CONTINUED------------------------

Victims of the Green Ripper:
Escape to Slavery
Return of the Jedi
J.S. Bach: The Well-Tempered Clavier
Shrek 2
Deus Ex: Invisible War
Pinky and the Brain
The Iraqi Information Minister
A nation’s post in the Scores thread
Sir Bobby Robson
Ryan Seacrest, American Idol

Heating Up
Melmond Still Has Some Kinks to Work Out, But Dominate Coruna 4-1 Anyway
By Gakk LaBouche of the Morales Inquirer

CORUNA—You can tell as Melmond exited the tunnel of Coruna National Stadium that they weren’t all too confident. It took a mistake by the only star player for Lykaia to bring the Fearless Farmers a win in front of their home crowd. Coruna had their home crowd and an earnest desire to do well. However, they seem to be completely inept on the field as their starting goalkeeper Octavo Xaval Castillo is out indefinitely after tripping over his own legs and crashing his head into the goalposts. NEWI Cefn Druids played like crap and won against this side, could Melmond get away with another bad performance.
This time though, the performance wasn’t a bad one by the Fearless Farmers. It was better, but certainly you can see the team trying to get used to the harmonious rhythm installed by new assistant coach Gerry Cheevers into the traditional Melmond football style. Either way, the pure talent of the Melmond National Team completely outclassed the Coruna side.
The weather was certainly a change of pace as they went from the damp chill of Faasen in Melmond to the sunny dry heat of Coruna. The crowd at the rather quaint Coruna National Stadium was very excited to see their national team play at their home stadium for the first time ever. The stadium was packed and it was a fever pitch. However, Melmond quickly gave the crowd one big “¡Callate!”
At the fifth minute, Melmond defender Sergio Ortiz makes an easy steal of the ball from Coruna midfielder Xavi Zapenxo Cestelano. Seeing that the rest of the team overcommitted to the failed offensive attack, Ortiz makes a quick pass to midfielder Martin Goodwin. Goodwin then quickly drops the ball off to the streaking midfielder Critandi Unne. Critandi Unne only had the backup Coruna goalkeeper Manolo Paton Sanxenxo in front of hir and the net. Critandi Unne ran toward one goalpost and as Sanxenxo tried to close down the angle, Unne kicks a slow roller out of the reach of Sanxenxo and right into the net. Coruna suffers a humiliating goal at the 5th minute as Melmond does a subdued team celebration.
Critandi Unne’s dazzling skills continued at the 25th minute, where s/he makes the clean tackle on Coruna striker Giuseppe Cambachi. Then s/he moves up toward the middle part of the pitch, where she passes it to the speedy Camui Arai. Arai outruns the entire Coruna defence and takes a shot which deflected off the hands of an outstretched Manolo Paton Sanxenxo. Critandi Unne rushed down the field to be in position to put away the deflection for hir second goal of the game. One can see the last glimmers of hope leave the eyes of the team the Coruna people call the Blue Fury. After the halftime whistle, Melmond has the lead 2-nil.
Coruna’s coach Marco Luis Ropero noticed more blue than fury in his team’s demeanor; therefore he made all of his substitutions after the half. On defence, Luzon Pantera De Dios replaces Marcus Alpenhof. At midfield, Benjamin Nehu is substituted for Gonzalo Hernandez Fernandez. At striker, Eduardo Miguel Rodrigo comes in for the ineffective Giuseppe Cambachi.
Melmond manager Felix Coostatlwak made no changes as he realized that the team has to get used to playing together in order to achieve harmony. Therefore, Felix Coostatlwak made no changes. None were needed.
At the 58th minute, Melmond showed glimmers of what they can do as a harmonious unit. The Fearless Farmers were in full-control of the ball and the match and they knew so. After a string of nifty and beautifully placed passes, Melmond striker Naol Keelafin takes the back heel from former teammate at Melmond City Blues Mornakh the Bloody Handed and kicks a ball that the Coruna goalkeeper certainly wasn’t ready for. After the ball hit the net, Keelafin went into an emotional rapture as he scores his first international goal in his career.
Melmond dominated the clearly overmatched Blue Fury of Coruna. They just played a possession style to burn off more clock. It seemed like one giant game of keep away until an ambitious Critandi Unne noticed a lapse in concentration in the Coruna defence. Knowing s/he was only one goal short of a hat trick, Unne took the initiative and stormed pass the Coruna defence and shot the ball in the high left corner of the net, completely out of reach of the Coruna goalkeeper. Critandi Unne gets hir hat trick at the 68th minute and Melmond has a commanding lead 4-nil over a very blue Blue Fury.
Where are the reported kinks of the Melmond side you ask? Well they happened later in the match. Playing a more deliberately coordinated style, Melmond makes a communication error which catches the defence out of position. Coruna midfielder Gonzalo Hernandez Fernandez steals the ball and makes a cross to striker Pedro Fernandez Madruga. Fernandez’s cross was a bit low, but Madruga improvises and does an absolutely beautiful bicycle kick which catches Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm completely off-guard. Coruna gets its first goal ever at the 72nd minute in its history and suddenly the fury is restored in the Blue Fury and their countrymen. However, as time wound down, it was clear that Melmond had way too much talent for Coruna and dominated the last part of the match. Both sides shake hands and exchange jerseys as Melmond gets the win 4-1.

Goals
C. Unne, MEL 5th
C. Unne, MEL 25th
Keelafin, MEL 58th
C. Unne, MEL 68th
Madruga, COR 72nd

Cards
None

Standings

Other Group 10 Results
Everybody Dies 0 – Turnia 4
Lykaia 1 – Intelligent Madness 3
The Home Islands 0 – NEWI Cefn Druids 3
Brazillico 1 – Europa Brittania 2

[code:1:b040bb2927]Group 10
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. NEWI Cefn Druids 6 2 0 0 5:0 5
2. Intelligent Madness 6 2 0 0 6:1 5
3. Europa Brittania 6 2 0 0 6:2 4
4. Melmond 6 2 0 0 6:2 4
5. Brazillico 3 1 0 1 4:3 1
6. Turnia 3 1 0 1 4:3 1
7. Lykaia 0 0 0 2 2:5 -3
8. Coruna 0 0 0 2 1:6 -5
9. The Home Islands 0 0 0 2 1:7 -6
10. Everybody Dies 0 0 0 2 1:7 -6[/code:1:b040bb2927]

Melmond Team Stats
Goals: Critandi Unne (3), Mornakh the Bloody Handed (2), Naol Keelafin (1)
Cards: None

Melmond National Team Schedule

v Lykaia (MPNK Stadium, Faasen) W 2-1
@ Coruna W 4-1
v The Home Islands (Lifedonations Stadium, Morales)
@ Brazillico
v Europa Brittania (Melmond Bowl, Melmond City)
@ NEWI Cefn Druids
v Everybody Dies (MelAir Park, Lee)
v Intelligent Madness (Frankndottir Stadium, Acosta)
@ Turnia
@ Lykaia
v Coruna (White Bread Dome, Suburbia)
@ The Home Islands
v Brazillico (Microcosm Football Colossuseum, Aldi)
@ Europa Brittania
v NEWI Cefn Druids (Feliz-Unne Stadium, Unne)
@ Everybody Dies
@ Intelligent Madness
v Turnia (Makinshakes Stadium, O’Connor)

Next Game
vs. The Home Islands (Lifedonations Stadium, Morales)

First they had Eskimo Pie, then they had some dulce de leche. What is next on the dessert plate that the Melmond National Team could fatten their point count on? Looks like daifuku. The Home Islands so far have lost all their matches, however they have played game talent such as Europa Brittania and NEWI Cefn Druids. They may show some improvement in this match. But so should the Fearless Farmers as they need to harmonize their great individual efforts so they could beat the likes of Brazillico, Europa Brittania, and NEWI Cefn Druids in the next three games. This game gives them the opportunity to harmonize and fatten up on football daifuku. Manager Felix Coostatlwak maintains the same starting lineup used in the Coruna match.

GK- Snhp Xtfuinxm
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Sergio Ortiz
D- Scott Cheney
D- Nina Steen
M- Martin Goodwin
M- Critandi Unne
M- Camui Arai
M- Cristina Antunez
F- Mornakh the Bloody Handed
F- Naol Keelafin

Lifedonations Stadium
Location: Morales, Melmond
Seats: 33,550 (Open Air)
Morales is the 8th largest city in Melmond and has been made famous by the macabre novels of Orphan Saffron in which Morales was the location. Lifedonations Stadium is one of the many stadiums built during the uprise in the popularity of the Batter Up Baseball League. It was originally meant for baseball only, but once the Melmond Premier League started up, the Morales Blacks used the stadium in the off-season. Remember fans, Lifedonations is sponsoring a Beef-B-Q tailgate party at the parking lot of Lifedonations Stadium right before the game! Enjoy some of Melmond’s greatest free-range beef products before the game. And since our opponent, The Home Islands, is Japanesque; we shall feast on Wagyu! Very few tickets available!

How can we only tie Tim Jenkins Europro!!! Our teabags were tripping the entire time! Curse you Tim Jenkins! Mark scored.

Sturms offensive consistent, bests Squad Oglethorpia

Living up to its expectation, Game 2 of the qualifying round proved to be a charged, high-impact game between powerhouses Oglethorpia and Gesamtkuntswerk. Though the two teams has had relatively low exposure to each other, their playing strategies were vastly different, as the Oglethorpian Squad favoured a hefty defensive standing with an elite but low-support offensive strike force, while the Gesamtkuntswerk Sturms favour a massively supported offensive group, with ample but effective defensive presence. The hammerstrokes were massive indeed, as probing attacks by the Sturms were met with fierce opposition, forcing the game to spend an inordinant amount of time in the central third of the field. Nevertheless, the unusual strategy implemented by the Sturms in their first game against Artoonia proved to be beneficial, as a sweeping attack along the sides with cross-field passes and assaults earned the first kill of the day in the twenty-seventh minute, spearheaded by substitute Wes Lindahl (05), in for James Bowie (03), who suffered a sprained ankle caused by a misstep in the opening minutes of the game.

The second half showed a fierce determination by Team Oglethorpia to tie up the game, with heavy pressure in the defensive manoeuvres and long passes to the waiting forwards. Oglethorpia's Hjörtur Green (FD: 10) took advantage of a hole in the Sturm defense with a long kick, scoring Oglethorpia's only goal in the 67th minute. Unfortunately for them, the effort, however noble it may have been, was futile, as the Sturms regained control of the game and scored a second goal on a penalty kick (credited to Pádraig O Máille (21)) in the 81st minute. The rest of the game showed great efforts on both teams to score within the closing minutes, but neither yielded results, giving the Sturms their second of two wins.

The Sturms' next game will be against newcomer Rampagonia, after which the Sturms will face regionmate and WC veteran team Dennisov. An upset in the Artoonia-Dennisov game has left the Sturms at the head of the pack, sharing a 2-0-0 record with teams Lovebug and Tadjikistan.

Raptors Claw down Kipto-Mare

Raptor Claw continued their high speed momentum with a second consecutive 4-0 Trouncing of their opponents. Kipto-Mare had little to do as the Raptors controlled the game from start to finish.

The win keepsRaptor Claw 2nd in the group, behind only Jeruselem who maintained their impressive record with a 4-2 win over Sportonia. The Two sides are even with 6 points and a +8 Goal Differential, However Jeruselem's superior goals for keeps them up top. The Raptors have Scored 8 goals and conceded 0 so far in competition

Ineptia, who were at the claws of defeat in MD1, took 3 points from the Isles of Wohlstand. Creedence Clearwater could not quite embarrass Boscioto in the manner Jeruselem was able to, but was still able to take 3 points there. In the clash of the titans, Commerce heights downed AudioSlavia 1-0




Raptors to make Hosting Bid

Today, Raptor Claw announced it would be bidding to host World Cup XVI with Rookie nation Krytenia. More Details in the Bid Thread.

毎日新聞
The Daily Islander

After the Rockets' first match, much can be learned from the performance shown by the team from the Islands. While the young striker Ren Kanai and Osamu Nomiyama showed flashes of brilliance, the rest of the side put in a rather lacklustre performance. Add into the mix a former champion and highly skilled Europa Brittania, a dash of away game, and the result is the 4-1 score line cooked up by the match.

Things started poorly and declined into a near catastrophic state during the match which was the first inter-NationState tie for the black-clad Rockets. EB had a fantastic start, with the right striker sliding in an easy score after the EB front line ran circles around the Rocket back line of Tsukamoto, Hirokawa, Fujiwara, and Satoshi Masuda. Tarou Yamamoto had little chance on the effort.

The Rockets actually drew level on 25 minutes, with Kanai volleying in a bouncing pass from Nomiyama. The shot was the Rockets' only on-target attempt on goal in the half. The celebration was short lived, as the score was 2-1 mere minutes later, Yamamoto again the victim of a shoddy backline effort. The Rockets were on their heels for the remainder of the half, but remained unscathed heading into the second half.

The pressure kept coming at the start of the 2nd half, and EB solidly put two more goals in Yamamoto's net. The Home Islands managed 2 more on target shots, but both were easily turned aside by the EB keeper.

The tough schedule continues for the Rockets, as they return home to Matsukyo and the Aomizu Stadium for their first home match, against the NEWI Cefn Druids. While everyone is predicting a victory for the Druids, Rockets manager Ichirou Sekiguchi will take it as a learning experience for his team, and will use it as a testing ground for his solutions to the many mistakes shown by the Rockets in their first match.

Rockets 1 (Kanai 25)
Europa Brittania 4 (? 5, ? 29, ? 61, ? 67)

Crystilakere 1 - 1 Oaker



Crystilakere opened up their World Cup 15 Qualifying effort with a dissapointing draw with new team Oaker. Oaker scored a late equiliser to cancel out an early Carlo Romano strike.





Ascensia 2 - 1 Crystilakere



Crystilakere slipped down the Group 6 Table with a very dissapointing defeat to Asecensia. Down 2 goals at the half, the Crystals powered back with an intense second half performance. However, an impressive goal from substitute Michael Baker was not enough to salvage any points for the hard working team

OOC: A little late here... but, I hopefully won't leave this thread behind... High School Graduation is just around the corner! So, that'll mean a lot of time to RP.

I've been testing in IB Exams and preparing for finals and such... so that's what explains me falling off the radar for a while...

IC:

The Valerian Voice

World Cup XV Commences!
Resistencia Lack Resistance As Boyars Crush Them 3 - 4

Magnus Valerius and her Boyars have commenced the games for the World Cup XV, and after four more years, the team has prepped for this event. Josh Kouzoff, a star midfielder from last WC, had been purchased by the Noriega Tigers (a team from Giant Zucchini), and he had been replaced by a new upcoming player: Alexandre Tintagel. The new player has made his shine in the first two games that The Empire had played in. He had scored the tie-making score during MD 1, and scored one goal in MD 2 versus Resistencia (Michael Kyritsis, Emmanuel Bolingbroke, and Vick Pickering scored the other three goals that secured a victory over Resistencia).

MATCHDAY PROGRESS CHART
Powered by Valeririjk Communicom

Match Day 1: Magnus Valerius v. Shang-ti, D 1 - 1
Match Day 2: Resistencia v. Magnus Valerius, W 3 - 4
Match Day 3: Magnus Valerius v. Rukbat al Rami
Match Day 4: KT MPLG v. Magnus Valerius
Match Day 5: Magnus Valerius v. Kingsford
Match Day 6: Cockbill Street v. Magnus Valerius
Match Day 7: Magnus Valerius v. The Belmore Family
Match Day 8: Lovisa v. Magnus Valerius
Match Day 9: Magnus Valerius v. Tasty Toast

Valerian Venues for WC XV

Tsar Alexander II Grand Colosseum
City: Valerius Prime (Pop: 18,543,200)
Seating Capacity: 91,500
Team: Valerian Boyars

The TAGC (as abbreviated by locals) is a complex recently constructed and completed in time for the World Cup. The very large complex sits on a small island in the center of the Vedusian River, with several new suspension bridges leading to it, and even the old stone bridges of ages past offer a more scenic route to the nation with their gas lamps and horse-drawn carriages and pedestrians on the side as well. A park lies on the other half of the islet that the stadium lies on, providing a green respite locale with several shops and restaurants available for Home fans and Visitors. Rising above the stadium on either side of the river are new skyscrapers that, 20 years ago, would never had been seen; Valerian technology had advanced rapidly within a few years after the capture of the high-tech New-Transylvania.

The Imperial Dome
City: Metaxas (Pop: 9,875,000)
Seating Capacity: 71,000
Team: Metakian Royal FC

The Imperial Dome lies on a promontory overlooking King William's Sea in the city of Metaxas. It is the second largest stadium in the Valerian Empire. The weather in Metaxas is reknowned to be cool and very sunny almost year-round, which makes the city a perfect place for football.

King William's Stadium
City: Meijis City (Pop: 4,210,000)
Seating Capacity: 62,500
Team: Romanovna FC

King William's Stadium is situated in Meijis City, a city in the northern regions of Magnus Valerius. The surrounding landscape are quiet farm fields and serene forested hills. The region is rainy, though, so there is always a chance of a game being dampened here.

Valensian Complex
City: Baden (Pop: 11,270,000)
Seating Capacity: 50,200
Team: Badenese Crown Royale

Baden is a city of higher altitudes in the northern regions of Magnus Valerius. The Valensian Complex is a mighty stadium, with part of it being an old fort remodeled as part of the complex. The entire complex overlooks the crystal-clear Lake Baden, which Valerians praise for a perfect place for fishing, swimming, water skiing and the like.

Live from Lemsas City, this is the Dean of Lemmitanian sports, Lana Maelstrom, on the Lemmitanian Radio Network. Joining me in the studio are Melanie Melsterson and Lemstein Blue to discuss the qualifying matches in the fifteenth World Cup of football. Mel, Lemstein, welcome to the program.

Mel: Thanks, Lana. It’s good to be back for another World Cup.

Lemstein: Hey.

Lana: Two matches are in the books, and the Lemmings seem to be doin’ fine. No real surprises so far, would you say?

Mel: After a mediocre performance last time out, we’ve seen the squad completely revamped. There’s not a single starter returning from four years ago.

Lemstein: What a crock!

Mel: What?

Lemstein: We got a bad rap, that’s all I’m saying.

Mel: In what sense? With whom?

Lemstein: With the ULFL! In the sense that they purged the team.

Lana: ‘Purged’ is a strong word.

Lemstein: Ain’t nobody back from last time, Lana. What would you call it?

Mel: Well, you and Lemmette retired.

Lemstein: We could have come back.

Mel: You made it clear you weren’t interested!

Lemstein: They should have begged us.

Lana: Why?

Lemstein: We were the core of the team!

Lana: Wull, that’s true, anyroad.

Mel: Most of the other players have retired, too. And it’s true, none of them were team leaders like you and Lemmette. So there you go. There was no purge.

Lemstein: Yeah, we were the best.

Lana: You were good...

Mel: Erratic...

Lana: Great, at times.

Mel: Sometimes great.

Lemstein: Oh, that’s wrong. We were the best! I led the ULFL in scoring more years than anybody.

Lana: True, true.

Lemstein: And we won six championships with the Lembeasts.

Mel: There is that....

Lemstein: Lemmette could shut them down.

Mel: Yeah, when she brought her game.

Lana: Some people think Mel ‘ere was the best.

Lemstein: Like who?

Mel: Humph!

Lana: Like the mighty Urk.

Lemstein: What, the Zucchini striker?

Lana: Yeh, ‘im.

Lemstein: What’s he know about it?

Lana: Mel shut ‘im down in the Final of World Cup ten. The one the Lemmings won.

Lemstein: So what?

Lana: Wot d’you mean, ‘so wot?’ Mel only led ‘er team to the bloomin’ world championship!

Lemstein: Me and Lemmette won six championships!

Lana: ‘ell, if it comes to that, me and Mel were both on A-league champion squads. An’ that’s nothin’ compared to winnin’ the World Cup.

Lemstein: Well, whatever.

Mel: What a crappy attitude.

Lemstein: You said it, sister.

Mel: Well if you know you have a crappy attitude, why don’t you do something about it?

Lemstein: What, now? I thought there was no drug use allowed on the air.

Lana: Mel ain’t talkin’ about doin’ drugs, Lemstein. She’s talking about adjustin’ your outlook on life.

Lemstein: I dunno. That sounds like a little too much trouble.

Mel: Why don’t we just discuss the Lemmings in the qualifiers? We can leave Lemstein’s emotional problems for the Dr. Lembert Show.

Lana: Arright. The opening match two weeks ago took place in good ol’ Lemco City, me ‘ometown. Against Bakin’ale. Wot do we know about the place?

Mel: Not much. They’re evidently suffering under a corrupt dictator.

Lana: ‘ow nice.

Lemstein: you know what I’d do if I was suffering under a corrupt dictator?

Lana: Wot?

Lemstein: I’d drag him out of his freakin’ dictator’s palace and give him a good ass-kicking. Right in the public square.

Mel: Sounds like an effective strategy. I wonder why the Bakinhalians don’t try that.

Lana: Prolly they’re allergic to gettin’ shot by the dictatorial palace guards, or somethin’.

Lemstein: I’d kick the guards’ asses too.

Lana: Mebbe there’s a lot of ‘em.

Lemstein: So I’d bring Lemmette with me! You think she can’t kick ass just ‘cause she’s a woman?

Lana: I’m prolly the las’ person in the world ‘oo’d ever think that.

Mel: And I’m second-last.

Lemstein: You ever seen the two of us on a drinking-and-fighting spree?

Mel: Unfortunately, yes.

Lana: It’s all over the telly every time you go on one, you know.

Lemstein: Damn straight!

Lana: Don’t gloat about it. It ain’t a good thing.

Lemstein: The Blue family is bad.

Lana: Yeh, yeh, no doubt. So... the Bakin’ale match....

Mel: The Lemmings weren’t ever really challenged. No surprise, an easy match in a friendly stadium to start out the qualifiers. We took that one two nothing, on a goal apiece by the two women on the front line, Lempoona Wapt and Wapitas Plum.

Lana: Lempoona plays for Lemmington in the ULFL, and Wapitas is without a doubt the top player on the new Ft. Lemming squad. An expansion team thet joined the league three years ago.

Mel: Plum really came out of nowhere. She was a minor star with the Lemvoola University Lemmingbears, chosen by Ft. Lemming in the second round of the supplemental draft. Not a player who was on the radar of the national media. After a couple of solid seasons, she just exploded last year, winding up second in the league in scoring, after Lemco City’s Zach McLemphoodle.

Lemstein: You know what sucks about Ft. Lemming?

Mel: No.

Lemstein: Everything.

Lana: Ft. Lemming’s a very nice place!

Mel: It’s on the Bay of Socialism.

Lemstein: The Bay of Socialism sucks. It’s so polluted you can kill a fish just by dropping it in.

Lana: Wull, they’re ‘opin’ that ‘avin’ a ULFL team will ‘elp bring the city back around. Loik wot ‘appened with Lemlanta an’ Lemsas City.

Lemstein: So why’d they name them the Snailbirds?

Lana: Wot’s wrong with that name?

Lemstein: Well, let’s see... um... oh, I know. What the hell is a “snailbird?”

Lana: It’s a bird wot eats snails!

Lemstein: Oh, like a duck?

Lana: Ducks eat fish.

Lemstein: Ducks eat whatever crap they can grab out of your hand. Like bread, and chewing-gum wrappers. And snails.

Mel: Why would you have snails in your hand?

Lemstein: That wasn’t an ‘and snails in your hand.’ That was a ‘crap they can grab out of your hand, and snails.’

Mel: Oh.

Lemstein: I hope that clarifies it.

Mel: Yeah, I think so.

Lemstein: Of all the team names in the ULFL, the ‘snailbirds’ has to be the dumbest.

Lana: Wull, Plum’s an excellent striker, any’ow. An’ I see from our director’s frantic wavin’ thet we’re about out of time. Mel, you wanna give a quick summary of the match against Svecia las’ week?

Mel: Sure. The Lightning are the Lemmings’ main competition in this qualifying group, ranked seventeenth. They came to Lemmington and played a solid match, scoring a couple of late first-half goals against Tal Blunderbuss. Not quite the game he’d have liked in front of the home-town crowd.

Lana: For the edification of our foreign listeners, Blunderbuss players for the Vipers.

Mel: Right. On the plus side, we got a goal by McLemphoodle in the first and another by Wapt in the second, and got by with a draw. So after two matches, the Lemmings have four points in the standings, and I don’t think anyone can be disappointed with that result against a perennially great side like Svecia.

Lemstein: If I’d played, we would have won.

Lana: You lost three straight matches in qualifying las’ time!

Lemstein: I wasn’t playing in those games!

Mel: That’s right, he failed to show up for a month and a half. It was a big scandal.

Lemstein: Yeah. If I’d been there, we’d have won those, too.

Mel: Exactly. When you’re the star striker, you’re supposed the show up!

Lemstein: You know who you sound like?

Mel: If you say your mother, I’ll kill you.

Lemstein: Coach Lemmichael.

Mel: So why didn’t you listen to him?

Lemstein: Man, I had more important things to do.

Lana: Okay, and on that note, we’ll be wrapping it up. Thanks for listening. From Lemmington, this has been Lemstein Blue, Mel Melsterson, and your truly, Lana Maelstrom for the Lemmitanian Radio Network.

Krytenia 0 - Tadjikistan 2

A victory in the shadow of violence

Krytenia - The Tadjik team was not very welcome in Krytenia, Celestial fans absolutly wanted to see their team win and took every opportunity to make this clear to our national team. But the national team silenced the Krytenian fans on the field.

The game started well with a good combination football between Pliiev and Zhukov, resulting in 0-1 after 9 minutes, the goal was made by Zhukov.
Twenty minutes later, the Krytenian player Wes byers came in to contact with Terekhin, who is known for his aggressivness and impulsivity reacted and started a fight. Terekhin received help from Boris Gromov while Harry Van Vossen jumped in for Byers. All four received a red card.
It was a sad moment for football in general, but quickly forgotten thanks to Pliiev, Zhukov and Cherniakhovskij who gave the fans the spectacle they wanted to see on the field. In the 75th minute, Zhukov scored again and put the score on 0-2.

After the match there was much talk about the incident earlier during the game, but Triandafillov relativated everything: "Things can go wrong sometimes, Terekhin made a mistake by attacking Byers and he knows it. We've already discussed the whole matter in the dressing rooms and both admitted they made a mistake, but the Krytenian player made mistakes too. And to your last question; no i'm not sending these players home. Managarov and Kravchenko will take their place in our next match, thats all." Unlike Yakir, Triandafillov is much calmer, and is willing to forget about things like these if the person(s) involved admit they're wrong. Triandafillov trusts his players and rtthe players respect him.

Now Tadjikistan can start training for Matchday 3, where we'll be playing against Slaikau. Ranked 200 on the world ranking list, they seem to have lost even before they arrived. But Experts always warn for unexpected revelations, although new they could be one.

In another important match in group 2, we saw Oglethorpia lose with 1-2 from Gesamtkuntswerk, good new for the Tadjiks. We have 3 points more then Oglethorpia and Dennisov, that lost 0-1 to Artoonia. Lets just hope we can take advantage of their losses.

Group 2 results
Rampagonia 1 Larkinia 2
Krytenia 0 Tadjikistan 2
Slaikau 1 Lovebug 3
Artoonia 1 Dennisov 0
Oglethorpia 1 Gesamtkuntswerk 2

And Tadjikistans results and upcoming matches
MD1:Tadjikistan - Larkinia W 4-0
MD2:Krytenia - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD3:Tadjikistan - Slaikau
MD4:Artoonia - Tadjikistan
MD5:Tadjikistan - Oglethorpia
MD6:Gesamtkuntswerk - Tadjikistan
MD7:Tadjikistan - Dennisov
MD8:Lovebug - Tadjikistan
MD9:Tadjikistan - Rampagoonia
MD10:Larkinia - Tadjikistan
MD11:Tadjikistan - Krytenia
MD12:Slaikau - Tadjikistan
MD13:Tadjikistan - Artoonia
MD14:Oglethorpia - Tadjikistan
MD15:Tadjikistan - Gesamtkuntswerk
MD16:Dennisov - Tadjikistan
MD17:Tadjikistan - Lovebug
MD18:Rampagoonia - Tadjikistan

National Stadium Makes Preparations For Match Against Isles of Wohlstand
COMMERCE HEIGHTS, NM - Although many were unpleased with the decision of the Commerce Heights Footballing Federation to allow the World Cup home match against Isles of Wohlstand to be played at National Stadium, the owner of the stadium has found the perfect setting for the next match. Nobody could have asked for a more perfect date to hold the match, as it will be held on the same day as the largest celebration in the nation's history will take place at the Tower of Commerce - the celebration of the gross domestic product reaching an amazing $100,000,000,000,000 and the gross regional product reaching $800,000,000,000,000. While no one was able to give exact details on the festivities planned for the match, an employee who chose to remain anonymous said that the communiZt visiting team might not be so communiZt by the time the game was over.

The owner of National Stadium could not be reached for comment on the allegation that his expensive research into the workings of the RP bonus machine was responsible for the prediction of the $100 trillion milestone being moved up to the date of the match.

Starblaydia lose at home
Joint-Bottom in Group 8 with 0 points

Wella, fresh from their three-one demolition of Avenging Altos, came to Penningworth United's Iota "Big-Eye" Arena to play Starblaydia in front of a capacity crowd of 85,000.

Everything started to go swimmingly for Starblaydia, including their first goal to take the lead. As the clock ticked over to nine minutes played Stefan Haldorsson floated over the most inviting of corners and Centre-Back Paul Cole, who had drifted in from the back unseen, rose highest above the unprepared defenders to power the ball into the bottom corner.

Things then went very bad for Starblaydia. First of all, Wella equalised after only seven minutes. As their roster was not provided to our reporters, nor names on the back of the shirts, we can only refer to their equalising goal as coming from 'That lanky number eleven' who lobbed Boaz Myhill from around twenty-five yards after he was caught in no-man's land.

Things got even worse after Philip Ifil was sent off for elbowing 'The short, annoying, ginger number three' in the face after half an hour. While said number three was writhing on the floor like he'd been shot, Ifil received his marching orders. Number three promptly got up and carried on like nothing had happened. Typical!

Starblaydia made it to half-time without going behind. When the teams restarted after the break, Enrico Bigon had dropped back to play at right full-back, while the ineffective David Bentley was sacrificed for David Young, who would hopefully shore up the defence.

The Starblaydia team were desperately trying to hold out for a draw but none was forthcoming. 'The blonde kid at number sixteen', who came on for 'The number ten that looks like that guy from Friends, no not that one, the geeky one' (who had missed a glorious open goal from two yards), managed to dribble into the box and toe-poke the ball past Myhill, after a deflection off the unfortunate Ryan Garry.

With Avenging Altos the next team to host Starblaydia, all we can hope for at this point is a reasonable draw, as Starblaydia lead the pack of teams on zero points from two games, having a better goal difference.

Final Score:
Starblaydia 1 - 2 Wella
(P Cole 10) (#11 18, #16 62)

Sowhatsville News

Halfassed set new record! (Unfortunatly for the longest run without a win)

After a dismal 1-1 draw in the opening fixture, the Hurricanes traveled to the Crocs knowing that unless they defeated the top ranked side in the group they would enter the record books. It didn't happen, and Halfassed have now went 6 games without winning (drawing 4 losing 2). Some commentators believe that Piper can no-longer coach the side and the players have lost faith in his tactics.
Interestingly, none of the management team or the players were available for comment, or were willing to step up and deny the rumours of a rift within the squad. Another couple of poor results in the next few games may well see the departure of Piper, and the shortest reign for a Halfassed coach in history!

Jeruselem Government News

Jeruselem overwhelm newcomers

Jeruselem won against another newcomer Sportonia after trailing 2-0 early on. Sportonia showed fight and their aggression paid off with two well deserved goals to lead the CoH runner-up. But Sportonia had another thing coming, and Jeruselem resumed normal service scoring the next 4 goals to win easily.

In other results Commerce Heights 1 pipped Audioslavia 0 in a battle of the World Cup favourites and Creedence Clearwater downed Boscioto to pour more salt on Boscioto's last loss to Jeruselem 7-1.

Group 3
Isles of Wohlstand 2 Ineptia 3
Kipto-Mare 0 Raptor Claw 4
Boscioto 1 Creedence Clearwater 3
Sportonia 2 Jeruselem 4
Audioslavia 0 Commerce Heights 1

RIKKIWATCH - Part One And Two
Opponents: A Team With Consonants
Reading on Rikkiter Scale: 4.7

A pretty normal day at the office for Rikki, as the team eased their way to a 3-0 win over the promising youngsters from KT MPLG. Being more concentrated on league matches for Acosta Browns, he did convert one penalty in the 44th minute as Alec Peterson got fouled. Peterson also scored a very good header in the 18th minute, and the third goal came after a bit of a muddle in the central defence of KT MPLG.

Right after the match, we saw Rikki Stone storming to catch a Melmondian coach, specifically booked for him to go back to Acosta. We here at Rikkiwatch find it very strange that Stone did not wish to celebrate the win with his team-mates, as is customary in the Street (normally including beer quaffed by the bucket) but instead preferred to go back and play a cup match against what we understand is a third division team. It is of course his business, but it does rather seem derogatory to the team spirit.

Cockbill Street Ratings: Roberts 6 - Arnarson 6 (Rogers on 89), Johnson 7 (Spearthrower on 84), Stonelover 6 - Larvikite 7 (Jones on 69), H Axewielder 6, E Einarsson 5, Magnetite 6 - Stone 6, Peterson 7, Ball 6.

KT MPLG Ratings: Sawyer 6 - Kalin 4, M Gold 5, Hamada 6, C Gold 5 - Martin 4, Vonne 5, Seichi 5 - Knight 4, Svensson 6, Wright 4.

Opponents: The World's Best
Reading on Rikkiter Scale: 8.3

Kingsford. Mighty Kingsford, in the TriNational Stadium, who had just won a World Cup by defeating the perhaps even mightier Orange-Blues. The question was, would the Streeters be near defeating them after Petter Stonelover's short visit in Barcoenfuego had given them enough information?

Rikki Stone was specially freighted in by airplane from Melmond, arriving on the training pitch four hours before the match was due to start. This brought some reserve players to complain about "special treatment", but they were quickly hushed up as Rikki smacked a volley right at their heads, taking three with one ball.

However, on the pitch Rikki was brilliant as usual. Lashing off against Kingsforders left and right, he made an excellent cross to start the match in the first minute. However, Magnetite's header went over.

A little later in the match, it was Kingsford's turn. Coming down their left wing, Petter Stonelover intercepted with an excellent tackle and shows why he plays regularly for Barcoenfuego.

Young Steinari Einarsson, brother of Einari, played his first national match today, and showed why he was selected after little more than fifteen minutes. He received another of Rikki's magically placed crosses, chested it, and tried to volley it into the top corner. Unluckily, it bounced off the edge of the boot, a Kingsfordean defender, the bar, and down on the line...and the referee ruled it as a goal. 1-0 Cockbill Street.

Another player, Steinlager's Larvikite, made his debut against KT MPLG. In that match he dominated the left wing, but his defensive problems were not exactly highlighted. They were today though, as Kingsford got around time and again on their right wing, and Jorn Arnarson constantly had to draw into the centre defense in order to block their strikers from getting through. It became more and more apparent that the 3-4-3 formation was not achieving much, and something had to be done. Rikki Stone was seen conferring with several of the other players after about thirty-five minutes, but our secret microphone reveals that his conversation was about matters of bladder contraction.

It was only to be accepted that a goal had to come soon. And it was from the right wing of course - Larvikite was dribbled into the stands, followed by a cross, and Jorn Arnarson pushed a Kingsfordian player in the penalty area. The referee was sure about the penalty, and so where most of the crowd. Thus, it was 1-1 at half-time.

Nevertheless, Olaf Iskalt refused to see what everybody else in the crowd could see - that classic Cockbill Street all-out-attack didn't work. The opponents were simply too classy and of too great skill to be attacked in this way, but Iskalt did not do any changes in the dressing room. Instead, it appears, he shouted at his players, particularly Rikki Stone, in some rather untranslateable and strange Dwarfish. It appeared to work though, because the players somehow found more energy to tackle and defend. Larvikite, however, seemed to continue his struggle, and eventually even Iskalt saw the problem. On came Bjorn Spearthrower, who had got six minutes in an earlier encounter with KT MPLG, but would now prove his worth as Cockbill Street tried to salvage a draw.

Then, out of nothing, came a free kick. Rikki stepped up, took a shot, curled it over the wall, and it went off the post and in behind a hapless Kingsfordean keeper. The 800 Streeters who had managed to get tickets exploded with joy, knowing that the Street was 19 minutes away from the win against the World Champions.

As usual, though, the Street crumbled when they needed to win the most. It was not undeserved when Kingsford broke through in the centre, made an excellent through pass that beat both Spearthrower and Johnson, and equalised with only eight minutes to spare.

Despite a late rally, in which 37-year-old Simon Quier was substituted for Niall Johnson and the formation again switched to 3-3-4, Cockbill Street ran out of time and luck, and in the end a draw was a fair result.

Cockbill Street Ratings: Roberts 7 - Arnarson 5, Johnson 7 (Quier on 88 ), Stonelover 6 - Larvikite 4 (Spearthrower on 62), H Axewielder 7, E Einarsson 6, Magnetite 7 - Stone 7, Peterson 7, S Einarsson 7.

Cockbill Street 2 (S Einarsson 18, Stone 69)
Kingsford 2 (??? 44, ??? 85)

Tables from Group 2 (OOC: This time the hosts can make their own tables ;))'

[code:1:4638291b54]The Belmore Family 2 2 0 0 6-0 6
Cockbill Street 2 1 1 0 5-2 4
Kingsford 2 1 1 0 4-2 4
Lovisa 2 1 1 0 3-1 4
Magnus Valerius 2 1 1 0 5-4 4
Tasty Toast 2 1 0 1 1-2 3
Resistencia 2 0 1 1 4-5 1
Shang-ti 2 0 1 1 1-2 1
Rukbat al Rami 2 0 0 2 0-3 0
KT MPLG 2 0 0 2 0-8 0[/code:1:4638291b54]

Spotlight On: Guy Santos

The best ball in the world is currently being played on the South Island of the Emerald Heights, where all five nations inhabiting the region find themselves with a football team ranked in the top 10 of the world. As one would expect with that sort of success, a massive influx of young talent are rising through the ranks, and very few show the promise of Guy Santos.

Santos, 20, is originally from Madeira Verde, a small, coastal town located in Southern Brazillico near the Tanah Burung border. Santos came from humble beginnings, as did many kids from this picturesque region, and began to hone his skills at a very young age by kicking around the palopo fruit, popularized by Tanah Burung’s Ab Francisco. Santos quickly showed his potential with his superb vision, crisp passes and terrific shots, earning himself a contract with the obscure Division 2 team Sporting Madeira, at the tender age of 12.

It didn’t take long for Santos to acclimate himself to the football, as he had earned himself a starting spot with Sporting by age 14. Despite his lack of size and strength at the time, Santos’ offensive instincts and quickness rapidly got him noticed and many of the richer clubs in Brazillico were knocking at the door, trying to acquire Santos’ services.

By Santos’ 18th birthday, Sporting Madeira were no longer bottom feeders in the second division, and had in fact qualified for a promotion playoff. Santos then showed the brilliant form Sporting always expected from him, as he lead his side with two goals and three assists in the two matches, paving Sporting’s way into the first division.

Now, Sporting Madeira find themselves knocking on the door of the Serie A, and it’s all due to Mr. Santos. His 16 goals in 24 games was second in the league and first among midfielders by five. Santos is also an unselfish player, occasionally making the extra pass to leave teammates with “gimme” goals. At 6’2”, 182lbs, his size is no longer a concern and has made leaps and bounds towards developing his defensive game.

Sporting Madeira have tried their best to keep Guy Santos with them, but with the exposure he’ll garner on the World Cup side, it may be next to impossible. Guy Santos has been described as the best player to come out of Brazillico in the last forty years, and may rival the accomplishments of Esteban de Jesus before it’s all said and done. Who would have ever thought that that little boy kicking around the melon would develop into the player he is today? One thing is for certain, World Cup 15 should be Guy Santos’ coming-out party.

The Bedistan Sports Digest - Late Edition

Lions Off to Shaky Start
Fall at home to not-so-favored One Red Dot

MIDWAY -- The Bedistan Lions started off World Cup XV qualifying in the usual way, by reminding a new team to the competition who the veterans are. The Lions were rather laid-back in the match against Ktony, which would probably explain why they won by only two goals.

Final score:
Bedistan 2 (Cooke 15, Neighbors 34)
Ktony 0

The second match, however, was a different story. One Red Dot, the highest-ranked team in Group 1 besides the Lions themselves, came to town, and the Lions were apparently not ready for them. One Red Dot brought their best game, and the scoreline does not really do justice to the Wolves' performance, with Nathan Cooke managing the goal for the home team from a corner kick in the 42nd. One Red Dot dominated play, and the Lions left Parker National dejected and without any points to add to their previous performance.

Final score:
Bedistan 1 (Cooke 42)
One Red Dot 2 (31, 64)

Some have speculated that one cause for the defeat may have been former Lions goalkeeper and now well-known BSTV Sports Tonight anchor Chuck Mitchell's comment about One Red Dot likely not doing very well in this qualifying group. In the tradition of having these comments turn around and bite our nation in the arse, the Lions subsequently fell to the Wolves. The Bedistan Football Association is conducting an investigation into Mitchell's comment.

Artoonia upsets Dennisov 1-nil
Skot Boi, Servo Novajxa Artuana, Sports

First-time World Cup contenders Artoonia upset 25th-ranked Dennisov in Artoonia's first ever World Cup victory. Forward Vambro scored the game's only goal 42 minutes into the first half on a penalty kick after Dennisov defender Larry Beethoven went in for a particularly vicious sliding tackle in the box at Artoonian forward Arturo Davo from behind, who was on an otherwise clear run for goal; Beethoven gained a yellow card as a result.

(Dubba-post)

The Red Dot Informant
Kahi’d Diat Xhishbua – 红点日报 – 赤い点新聞
Double Win, Double Joy

It was truly amazing as the Red Dot Wolves started off the qualifiers with a bang beating newcomer TripB and also toppling the Group 1's rank leader: Bedistan.

The 2-0 win was not much of a surprised as the Wolves basically savaged through their first match on home ground at the Royal Red Dot National Stadium.

Although Bedistan did provide some jitters, Bedistan apparently lost some form as they let one goal in and lost their second home game. Some say that it was mostly overconfidence and a certain prediction by a certain expert.

Group 1 Qualifier Tables provided by The Red Dot Informant Statistics Team
[code:1:5f19c04848]Group 1 P W D L F A GD T
The Lowland Clans 2 2 0 0 6 0 +6 6
Aquilla 2 2 0 0 5 1 +4 6
One Red Dot 2 2 0 0 3 0 +3 6
Bedistan 2 1 0 1 3 2 +1 3
Grand Master Mark 2 1 0 1 1 3 -2 3
Foggymushmush 2 1 0 1 3 4 -1 3
Turori 2 0 1 1 1 2 -1 1
Ktony 2 0 1 1 1 3 -2 1
TripB 2 0 0 2 0 4 -4 0
Crabec 2 0 0 2 0 6 -6 0[/code:1:5f19c04848]

ORD World Cup Record provided by aSWORD (Association of the Sports World of One Red Dot)
[code:1:5f19c04848]
World Cup WC7 WC8 WC9 WC10 WC11 WC12 WC13 WC14 WC15
Matches Played 13 13 17 7 17 14 21 22 2

Wins 9 6 8 4 10 8 12 16 2
Draws 1 2 4 1 6 4 3 4 0
Losses 3 5 5 2 1 2 6 2 0

Goals For 31 22 24 14 29 27 27 45 3
Average GF 2.38 1.69 1.41 2.00 1.71 1.93 1.29 2.05 1.50
Goals Against 9 19 19 11 7 11 12 19 0
Average GA 0.69 1.46 1.12 1.57 0.41 0.79 0.57 0.82 0.00
Goal Diff. +22 +3 +5 +3 +22 +16 +15 +26 +3
Average GD +1.69 +0.23 +0.29 +0.43 +1.29 +1.14 +0.89 +1.18 +1.50

Total Matches 49 62 79 86 103 117 138 160 162

Acc. Wins 26 32 40 44 54 62 74 90 92
Acc. Draws 11 13 17 18 24 28 31 35 35
Acc. Losses 12 17 22 24 25 27 33 35 35

Accumulated GF 88 110 134 148 177 204 231 275 278
Ave. Acc. GF 1.80 1.77 1.70 1.72 1.72 1.74 1.67 1.72 1.72
Accumulated GA 51 70 89 100 107 118 130 149 149
Ave. Acc. GA 1.04 1.13 1.13 1.16 1.04 1.01 0.94 0.93 0.92
Accumulated GD +37 +40 +45 +48 +70 +86 +101 +127 +130
Ave. Acc. GD +0.76 +0.65 +0.57 +0.58 +0.68 +0.74 0.73 0.79 +0.80

Average Opp. Rank# 25.40 41.80 26.29 16.86 26.00 39.67 28.57 30.11 48.20
Highest Opp. Rank 7 21 1 1 4 15 5 2 8
Lowest Opp. Rank# 52 68 79 50 50 74 53 71 115

Pre-Cup Rank 22 16 29 29 20 11 28 29 22
Standardised Rank# -0.18 -1.16 0.10 0.71 -0.29 -0.93 -0.03 -0.05 -0.57

#Newbie ranks are excluded.
World Cup 4-6 statistics have been truncated to accommodate newer records.
*Rounding-ups/downs may cause calculative errors in the table.[/code:1:5f19c04848]

Match Fixtures for ORD {MD03~18}
03 One Red Dot v Ktony @ Kontactkomm Stadium
04 One Red Dot v The Lowland Clans @ Chisai'nihon Stadium
05 Aquilla v One Red Dot @ Aquilla
06 One Red Dot v Grand Master Mark @ Westshores Stadium
07 Turori v One Red Dot @ Turori
08 One Red Dot v Foggymushmush @ Dorona Stadium
09 Crabec v One Red Dot @ Crabec
10 TripB v One Red Dot @ TripB
11 One Red Dot v Bedistan @ Royal Red Dot National Stadium
12 Ktony v One Red Dot @ Ktony
13 The Lowland Clans v One Red Dot @ The Lowland Clans
14 One Red Dot v Aquilla @ Royal Burrington Stadium
15 Grand Master Mark v One Red Dot @ Grand Master Mark
16 One Red Dot v Turori @ Gweridijong City Stadium
17 Foggymushmush v One Red Dot @ Foggymushmush
18 One Red Dot v Crabec @ Royal Red Dot National Stadium

Place: Daiken Road, Dance 2 Revolution Time: 5:45 P.M. 15 minutes before the game between D2R and Grays Harbour

Commentator #1: So lets look at the D2R line-up, shall we?
Commentator #2: Standard 4-4-2 look about the squad, only one injury for the Manager to look at, and that is a back injury to Star Striker Kenkai who will sit this game out, also there may be injury problems with Maeda but he is starting on the right wing as always.

The match starts. at 29 minutes...

C #1: Maeda is brought down just outside the box. This does not look good, Maeda is being brought off in a stretcher!
C #2: That is not good news, it looks like Qamay, a deadball specialist, is coming on to replace him and take the free kick.

Qamay steps up to the ball. He thumps it. it is tipped by the Harbour keeper but it hits the bar and goes in.

C #2: Unlucky for the Harbour keeper but an excellent start to Qamay's international debut.

57th minute. Stomp, the last defender, slides in on the attacker and brings him down for a penalty.

C#1 : He must be off!
C#2: He is, shown the red card and now 10-men D2R have a penalty to compete with

Harbour's No. 9 steps up confidently. It is placed to the left and sends Handplant the wrong way. 1-1.

C#2: There was never any doubt there, it had to be 1-1
C#1: Indeed.

Nothing much happens afterwards. The final whistle blows.

Post Number 1.1

Weegie Star: Sport Report

Wonderkid Scores Two; Lyle Safe For Now.

The Weegies 4 - 2 Oceaice

Faith in Lyle's shaky grip on the job of Weegie manager was upped slightly, as the Weegies eased past Oceaice to gain a 4-2 victory. After the 3-0 defeat by Melmond in the Cup of Harmony, according to eyewitnesses, the normally cool and collected ex-Svea Rigan citizen went "Like, F***in' mental, y'know?" and railed against his players' lacklustre performance in the Cup in the dressing room. The new Weegie side seems to reflect that, with a massive clearance of the old stalwarts, leaving a few like solid goalkeeper Britton, playmaker Ferguson, and winger Piccolo, and putting in both experienced WPL players and new blood.

And it seemed to work, although with the Weegies playing a less experienced side in Oceaice and having a home advantage, along with a couple of glaring defensive errors allowing Oceaice to take two goals as well. They scored first, hitting hard and hitting fast. With the Oceaicean strikers running rings around defender O'Sullivan, they got a simple shot in which Britton couldn't reach. 1-0 to Oceaice.

Further gloom came as the Weegies came to attack even further. The all-out attack has never suited a Weegie side, and taking advantage of an out of place defence, the Oceaice managed to loop it round the defence, and was left with a clear one-on-one with Britton, which Britton couldn't edge out. 13 minutes on, 2-0 down, and the die-hard fans, the Islander's Army, looked even angrier than they did against Melmond, chanting again about Lyle's managerial skills, most of which are unrepeatable here.

But the comeback came from an unexpected source; new Mackintosh Thistle Celtic attacking midfielder Larsson, who started to turn the tide of the game in the Weegies' favour. With Ferguson playing a more defensive role, Larsson started to maraud in the opposing side's half, getting the first Weegie shot on target of the game in the 21st minute, a dipping, curling shot that the Oceaice keeper had to pull off acrobatics for.

The boy had already pulled off wonders in the WPL, and he wasn't about to disappoint here. From an incicive cross by Piccolo, Dunn got his foot to the ball and volleyed it into the goal, but the keeper again hit it out, but only as far as Larsson, who pulled off an audacious bicycle kick to slot the goal home and take one back for a beleagured Weegie side. Larsson also had a part to play in the second goal, with 5 minutes to go in the first half. A one-two with Ferguson led him around the midfield of the Oceaiceans, where his pass found the feet of Dunn, who chipped it over the onrushing goalkeeper to draw the match level.

After half time, Larsson got involved in another break, doing exactly to the Oceaice what they had done to the Weegie side. Racing around a defender, he cleared the way for Piccolo to get another cross in, where the young attacker got his head in to nail the goal right past the Oceaice keeper. But, with 72 minutes on the clock, a scrappy challenge led to Larsson being taken off with a damaged heel, and possibly not being able to play in the next one or two matches. The remaining goal was taken by Ferguson, who skated around the Oceaice defence to take another shot past the besieged keeper. 4-2, and after a shaky first few minutes, a consummate performance from the side, especially young starlet Larsson.

this is no double-posting!

The KaMaRi Update

A team improves by its challenges
The Orange-Blues archieved a draw against Liverpool England, one of the teams which are considered to have the highest chances to reach the qualification spots. The highly anticipated match took place in the SLS R stadium in KaMaRi kali, the stadium where the final of the world cup 13 took place. The Orange-Blues started dominating the match, had good chances but the right bit of luck was missing until the 27th minute when Milan Tia~e brought the Orange-Blues ahead after a corner kick shot by Ita Syku. After the half time pause, the Liverpool england coach made some tactiical substitutions and the improved style of game. The Orange-Blues were unable to adapt to the changed formation and Liverpool England managed to get more 'into the match'. Laxtu Takil more than once reminded of handball coach Juu Junu: He stood up, and shouted at the team in a not very family appropriate but quite common way. The most reasons for this did he have when a terrible mistake in the defense allowed striker <can'tfindroster> to equalize the score. Seda Kansu and Kansu Xana were substituted just after that mistake and KaMaRi kaletri player Syku Lulu and Miku Rodni from Harari Ynu took their place. This first 'worthless' ('Kansu' is the rejistanian word for 'worth' and no player called 'Kansu' played in the defense) prevented most later chances from happening. the final 1-1 is a score which fits the match: The dominance of the Orange-Blues in the first half and the tactical superiority of LiverPool England in the second.

The result:
Rejistania 1 (Tia~e 27th)
Liverpool England (<can'tfindroster> 77th)

Tag - RP To Come Tommorow - I had know Idea the tournament had started, with the death of Reagan I have had other matters to attend to.

with the death of Reagan I have had other matters to attend to.

I dunno, that just strikes me as an extremely weird thing to say. ;)

Actually, that's why I didn't RP at all in wc14. What with Reagan's upcoming death, and all, I just couldn't find the time.

Turnia City Tribune

World Cup XV Matchday 2 Report
Max Riodondo

Everybody Dies 0 – Turnia 4

Everyone jump aboard the Turnia rollercoaster ride. After a dismal effort in Matchday 1, the Dragons played a focused and technically sound game in Matchday 2, beating Everybody Dies 4 nil. "I am relieved to get a win, but what I am most relieved about is the sound play of our team. Needless to say, I was tossing and turning last night" said the chuckling HC Paul Odle. "But I addressed the team afterward and told them to not get too excited. From what I saw, no one on the team was cocky or trash talking. I think they realize what it is going to take mentally to advance" Odle added.

The scoring started early in the 9th minute with a corner-kick header by Douglas Thompson. Then as the first half was coming to a close, the Dragons took a 2-0 lead with a free-kick goal by Josh Turner in the 44th minute. They picked right up where they left off in the second half with the second goal of the game by Turner in the 51st minute. And lastly the fourth goal was scored in the 78th minute from a long kick by mid-fielder Robert Hastings. Offensive coach Cantilliere afterward left me with this quote, "Pleased, very pleased."

So welcome one and all to the amusement park that is the World Cup and the Dragons Coaster ride. Off now to grab my pill bottle...

Goals:
Thompson- 9th
Turner- 44th
Turner- 51st
Hastings- 78th

with the death of Reagan I have had other matters to attend to.

I dunno, that just strikes me as an extremely weird thing to say. ;)

Actually, that's why I didn't RP at all in wc14. What with Reagan's upcoming death, and all, I just couldn't find the time.

There are other places to talk about this. Please keep this mainly Nation States and football related. I know people have postive and negative ideas about Reagan, but this thread is the scores and I guess Tags.

thank you...

WNN Television Broadcast

Anchor: "After the stunning victory over Commerce Heights recently, by a single goal, ending in 1:0, celebration could be heard in the streets of New Stalingrad, having seen the broadcast. Some people claimed it was lies, others just wanted to party, but one thing is for sure, the Isles of Wohlstand is now wrapped in celebration. On the streets of New Stalingrad, we have our correspondant Jon Vetstolov. Jon"

Correspondant: "Thank you Robert. As you can see behind me, there is a mass crowd of people chanting the anthem of our nation, and waving our flags. Others are partying in local bars or clubs, as well as several other festivities in this joyous event. It was truly a shock that our team actually beat such a renowed World Cup participant such as Commerce Heights, but this should bring fresh energy into the heart of the players as well as the citizens of our nation. We will just have to stay tuned and wait to see more games"

Anchor: "Well, it seems that the Isles may have a slight chance after all to win a few games, but the outcome will only be determined in the next few days. Stay tuned, up next is Hessinger's Victory Adress to the nation, as well as a new report about Wohlstands position about the actions in Sino recently"

Raptors Claw down Sportonia, Top the Table

Raptor Claw went into their match in Sportonia level on points and goal differential with group leaders Jeruselem. On the back of 3 consecutive wins, The outlook was positive for the match against the World Cup Newcomers. However, some defensive holes had been exposed in the match against Boscioto, which saw the Raptors concede their first goal in the competition, and Claw fans would soon see that their sides weak point would haunt them again.

Sportonia, playing infront of a strong home crowed, would open the scoring 20 minutes in on a Sporty Spice free kick. The kick came following a period of mixed action where neither side had a notable advantage over the other. Sportonia would only find one further scoring opportunity from there on in, which they failed to capitalize on as the Raptors turned up the heat.

In the second half, the Raptors Clawed back once again, equalizing in the 53rd minute after being justly awarded a clean penalty kick. The match was won 15 minutes from time when the Raptor was sent clear, making no mistake one on one with the keeper. As the clock ran down, news started to filter of the victory of Commerce Heights over Jeruselem, and as the final whistle blew, the contengent of Raptor Claw away support erupted into cheers, as they found themselves on top of the group table for the first time in their National History.

In other group 3 action, favorites Audioslavia made no mistake disposing of Creedence Clearwater by the lone goal. Bottom sides Ineptia and Boscioto squared off with Boscioto once again on the losing end, dropping a 3-1 decision. former Raptors opponent Kipto-Mare also went down 3-1, to the isles of Wohlstand.



....Raptor Claw's Group

[code:1:edf5d759ba]
Group 3

Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
* 1 Raptor Claw 4 4 0 0 12 2 10 12 54 *
2 Jeruselem 4 3 0 1 12 5 7 9 51
3 Commerce Heights 4 3 0 1 6 1 5 9 51
4 Ineptia 4 3 0 1 7 7 0 9 51
5 Creedence Clearwater 4 2 1 1 8 5 3 7 49
6 Isles of Wohlstand 4 2 0 2 6 5 1 6 48
7 Audioslavia 4 2 0 2 2 2 0 6 48
8 Kipto-Mare 4 0 1 3 3 10 -7 1 43
9 Sportonia 4 0 0 4 4 12 -8 0 42
10Boscioto 4 0 0 4 4 15 -11 0 42
[/code:1:edf5d759ba]

The Bureaucratic Tribune
The Bureaucratic States' most readily available publication.

Turn for the worst
After an opening qualifying victory Oglethorpia manages to stink it up.

By Bill Christmas

OGLETHORPIA (BT) -- After declaring a 2-nil victory to open up qualifying on the road, Oglethorpia seemed ready to continue the same pace of play that brought them to the quarterfinals in World Cup 14. Soon, however, a loss against Gesamtkuntswerk would bring them back into reality.

Perhaps the loss at home in Amalgamated Stadium hosting Gesamtkuntswerk can be attributed to an inplexicable grill-propane tank-spider and snake assault incident is to blame, injuring starting goalkeeper Henry Louis-Charleston White and star striker Ruben van Mistletoe -- both sidelined at least two matches.

Things didn't look bright with the two team leaders sidelined replaced by mostly inexperienced counterparts -- soon other offensive leader Hjortur Green would find himself injured as well.

Hjortur recieved severe handburns after a disastrous vegetable oil burn while filming a Consolidated Fast Foods commercial -- when a careless employee allowed a copious amount of the flaming liquid used to cook fries splash wildly.

With three players sidelined Oglethorpia managed to stink up a crucial match vs. Gesamtkuntswerk -- a match similar to many the team would play were they to make it to the first round. Without Louis-Charleston White in goal, Oglethorpia let in two and a vastly inferior offense only put one goal on the board themselves.

Hjortur Green's wounds turned out to be more "personal" than one would think -- and would miss the away match against World Cup 4 champions Dennisov. The national side was also still without van Mistletoe, though Louis-Charleston White was quick to recover from his snake bite, his spider bite(s), propane tank burns and lacerations suffered when while grilling, was smothered by the toppling outdoor cooking device. van Mistletoe wasn't so lucky, still being treated for a cracked skull when caught offguard by the ensuing mayhem causing him to fall backwards.

Louis-Charleston White still managed to seem rusty from his accident while partying with fellow teammate van Mistletoe -- nearly giving up three goals in the first thirty-minutes of the match. It wasn't until the second half that Dennisov finally broke through and Oglethorpia failed to equalize, the match ending 1-nil.

Some have said that the last two losses are attributable to the lack of vital personnel due to recent injuries -- others say it's just a big coverup.

"Man, they're just explaining that two-game losing streak by saying players on the squad "hurt themselves." That's just a coverup, man," said a paticularly outspoken Eauzish immigrant.

"He clearly doesn't know what he's talking about," said manager Pancrazio Albert-Albertson Black in response to the comments made by the man above. "Hjortur has very serious injuries to his groin area -- i'll be surprised if the man has any children."

Hjortur Green and van Mistletoe are expected back next match, the country counting on the possibly infertile striking duo to bring glory back to the Bureaucratic States.

Isles of Wohlstand Team Resists Arrest For Interfering With National Holiday, Ministry of Defense and N00kz Declares War On CommuniZm
COMMERCE HEIGHTS, CH - After the WCC-appointed scorekeepers from Abysmalistan, Slani Hyperinflation, Undocumented Features, and Halfslaniedstates failed to complete their duties, incorrectly recording a 7-0 CH win as a 0-1 loss to Isles of Wohlstand, several enraged federal police officers set off on a chase to bring the IoW team to justice after finding an obscure law which clearly states that it is illegal for representatives of socialist or communist nations to succeed in anything on Commerce Heights national holidays. The defeat, ruining the celebration of the GDP reaching $100 trillion at the 2,718-foot tall Tower of Commerce, started a televised chase by federal police to find and arrest the IoW team. When the team made it safely to their home country, the chase turned into an international incident, and international organizations, including the Terranordalis Union, were contacted to help decide what should be done about the case. Infuriated by the communiZt criminals, the Minister of Defense and N00kz came on television to declare the start of a 'War on CommuniZm', asking for international support from capitaliZt nations and notifying the world that Isles of Wohlstand would be the first target of the war.

Haperd Gets First Win In Style!!!!

The Volcanic Archipelago of Haperd has gotten it's first ever victory, following a 1-0 Defeat to Nikea and a 2-1 defeat to the Republican Army to start off their qualifying campaign.

The 4-1 Victory over Lallania was a major boost for the team, who played great all game. Kris Haperd Jr. had 2 goals, While Courtney Haperd and Kallana Haperd added the other 2 to lead the Vulcans to a commanding first 3 points in their history.

Haperd are looking now to gain as many points as possible from their remaining fixtures to establish themselves as a threat on the world stage and push for qualifcation into the finals in future tournaments!

Banzai!
Arai and Xtfuinxm Chopstick It to The Home Islands
By Gakk LaBouche of the Morales Inquirer

MORALES, MELMOND—With the scent of hibachi-grilled wagyu beef and authentic Melmondian fried dice in the air; one would think that we are either in the Japanesque section of Melmond City or Suburbia. However, this scent was coming from the temperate rainy town of Morales, better known for the Morales Cheese Steak. The reason for the Japanesque cuisine was part of a promotion by the Lifedonations company, Melmond’s leading buyer and seller of new and used bodily organs and blood. In homage to the Beef-B-Q held in Morales two years ago when the first edition of the Fearless Farmers faced off against the BSE Free Bovines, the Fearless Farmers faithful enjoyed the best free range beef in Melmond. Now that the Home Islands came to Morales, wagyu was the meat of the day and the chosen side was the deliciously random taste of Melmondian fried dice or the randomly spicy taste of Melmondian voodoo dice.
So what does all this food have to do with the result? Plenty! While seeing the fans from Morales struggling to use their chopsticks, the few people who came from The Home Islands to see their Rockets play started taunting the people of Morales by effortlessly clicking their chopsticks together and chanting something in their dialect of Japanese. Melmond midfielder Camui Arai knew what they were saying and told the rest of the side to fire them up faster than eating a bowlful of wasabi. “It’s hard to translate what they were saying to Melmondian English without losing the essence or the rhythm of their chant, but the closest way to put it would be that how could a country which doesn’t have the coordination to use chopsticks play football?”
Arai was certainly not going to put up with people insulting his home nation. As the whistle to start the game went off, Melmond midfielder Critandi Unne kicked the ball to Arai, who immediately turned on the jets and ran past the ill-prepared The Home Islands defence. The Home Islands defender Satoshi Masuda was feverishly running to make the tackle on Arai, but Arai easily finds a wide open player. That player was his former teammate with the Melmond City Blues, Mornakh the Bloody Handed. The Melmond striker “rockets” it past The Home Islands goalkeeper Taro Yamamoto and Melmond gains a 1-nil lead at the very first minute. Yamamoto was rather livid and on the verge of pulling the roots out of his hair in frustration of his poor defence. Surprisingly, no taro roots or yams sprung from his head.
After the crowd stopped whistling in displeasure this sportswriter for such a bad joke, play resumed. The entire first half featured very rough play by both sides. The Home Islands defence took Yamamoto’s frustrations to heart as they played much more physically. The Home Islands defender Satoshi Tsukamoto made a very hard and late tackle on Melmond midfielder Critandi Unne. Unne was on the pitch rolling in pain. Despite the ugliness of the tackle and the aftermath, the referee only gives Tsuakamoto a yellow card at the 19th minute. The crowd started a high-pitched whistle of disapproval for that call and some Melmond National Team players went to the referee to tell the exactly how they felt. Fortunately for the Fearless Farmers, Critandi Unne got up and continued to play.
The Melmond defence was just as reckless at times. After Melmond played a stifling defence for the first part of the first half, The Home Islands striker Ren Kanai found an opening and tried to use a speed burst to get past it. Melmond defender Scott Cheney tried to make a tackle to impede his progress but instead it got the back of his heel. For the late tackle, Cheney gets a yellow card at the 23rd minute.
That seemed to be a momentum changer as The Home Islands actually looked in control for most of the rest of the first half. However, their frustration will boil over again. On an earned corner kick, while the ball was in the air, The Home Islands striker Osamu Nomiyama basically body slammed Melmond defender Scott Cheney to the pitch to help his teammate Ren Kanai get in position. Nomiyama gets the red card at the 43rd minute and the Fearless Farmer Faithful click together their plastic forks and knives in celebration. Kanai was very upset about his teammates actions to the point after the half ended he was seen giving Nomiyama slaps to the face that an Ozeki would be proud of. Arai helped us translate again what Kanai was saying during the slapping, “You fat bloated ediot! You stupid little monkey…..”
At the second half, Manager Felix Coostatlwak had to make a substitution out of necessity as Scott Cheney was woozy after being slammed to the pitch. Defender Phael Survigosis was put in his position. Despite having the one-player advantage, with an injured Critandi Unne, Melmond couldn’t seem to find the harmony they had in the first half as basically everyone was rather ineffective. Manager Felix Coostatlwak decided to rest the hobbling Critandi Unne for the upcoming Brazillico match and put in veteran and defensive midfielder David Bixler. Still, The Home Islands seemed to be the ones in control of the tempo of the game.
However, the Rockets will have no success. Despite the strong efforts of Kanai and The Home Islands attack, Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm treated like the Mongols who unsuccessfully invaded Japan. He was basically a brick wall between the wickets, and The Home Islands had no chance of landing a ball through the net. Xtfuinxm employed his increasing football smarts and made saves look easy that he would have had to rely on his physical ability before. Despite the poor play of the majority of the Melmond side, Snhp Xtfuinxm’s brilliant play helps Melmond maintain their 1-nil lead and turn it into victory after 89 minutes.

Goals
Bloody Handed, MEL 1st

Cards
Tsukamoto, THI 19th
Cheney, MEL 23rd
Nomiyama, THI 43rd

Standings

Other Group 10 Results
Europa Brittania 4 – Everybody Dies 0
NEWI Cefn Druids 1 – Brazillico 1
Intelligent Madness 2 – Coruna 2
Turnia 2 – Lykaia 0

[code:1:b0f84b22e1]Group 10
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Europa Brittania 9 3 0 0 10:2 8
2. Melmond 9 3 0 0 7:2 5
3. NEWI Cefn Druids 7 2 1 0 6:1 5
4. Intelligent Madness 7 2 1 0 8:3 5
5. Turnia 6 2 0 1 6:3 3
6. Brazillico 4 1 1 1 5:4 1
7. Coruna 1 0 1 2 3:8 -5
8. Lykaia 0 0 0 3 2:7 -5
9. The Home Islands 0 0 0 3 1:8 -7
10. Everybody Dies 0 0 0 3 1:11 -10[/code:1:b0f84b22e1]

Melmond Team Stats
Goals: Critandi Unne (3), Mornakh the Bloody Handed (3), Naol Keelafin (1)
Cards: Scott Cheney (1)

Melmond National Team Schedule

v Lykaia (MPNK Stadium, Faasen) W 2-1
@ Coruna W 4-1
v The Home Islands (Lifedonations Stadium, Morales) W 1-0
@ Brazillico
v Europa Brittania (Melmond Bowl, Melmond City)
@ NEWI Cefn Druids
v Everybody Dies (MelAir Park, Lee)
v Intelligent Madness (Frankndottir Stadium, Acosta)
@ Turnia
@ Lykaia
v Coruna (White Bread Dome, Suburbia)
@ The Home Islands
v Brazillico (Microcosm Football Colossuseum, Aldi)
@ Europa Brittania
v NEWI Cefn Druids (Feliz-Unne Stadium, Unne)
@ Everybody Dies
@ Intelligent Madness
v Turnia (Makinshakes Stadium, O’Connor)

Next Game
at Brazillico

The Melmond National Team already fattened their point count on the desserts of Group 10. Now here comes the main course. Three games in a row featuring Brazillico, Europa Brittania, and NEWI Cefn Druids will really be the test to see if this team of destiny is truly a contender to qualify for the World Cup. Brazillico is next for the Fearless Farmers. This is certainly a very familiar opponent. The overall series so far has been one win for each side and one tie. Brazillico has been slumping as of late, but they were playing quality competition. Both sides will really need to step it up a notch to earn even a single point in this match. Manager Felix Coostatlwak has to make another change to his starting lineup as Scott Cheney is a no go as he is still recovering from his injury against The Home Islands. The rejuvenated Phael Survigosis will step in at defender. Fortunately, Critandi Unne is healthy for the big match.

GK- Snhp Xtfuinxm
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Sergio Ortiz
D- Phael Survigosis
D- Nina Steen
M- Martin Goodwin
M- Critandi Unne
M- Camui Arai
M- Cristina Antunez
F- Mornakh the Bloody Handed
F- Naol Keelafin

Unfortunately, tickets are sold out in Brazillico for this much anticipated match between the two sides. However, if you are going to Brazillico, the people are much nicer this time around…we think.

Ha-HA! We beat Calientia 3-2! They were pathetic and weak and we were strong! The teabags tripped them all! We're evil!

Tadjikistan - Slaikau 3-0

Tadjikistan leads group 2, can they defend their position?

Group 2
Gesamtkuntswerk 2 Rampagonia 0
Dennisov 1 Oglethorpia 0
Lovebug 2 Artoonia 0
Tadjikistan 3 Slaikau 0
Larkinia 2 Krytenia 3

Dushanbe - Tadjikistan won its 3rd match against Slaikau, one of the 3 newcomers. Tadjikistan took a good start, set up a couple of good actions and put pressure on the visitors. Slaikau kept the Tadjiks off but could not do that for long, 28th minute Zhukov broke through their defense and scored with his right foot.

The Tadjiks remained on the offensive and tried to get past their defense by attacking on the flanks. The Slaikau goalkeeper kept the ball out of the nets until the 50th minute, when Cherniakhovskij beat and dropped the ball in the left corner of the goal. Slaikau then tried to score themselves, good combination football was shown but Aleinikov and Shaposhnikov held them away from the goal.

In a Slaikauan attempt Shaposhnikov took the ball and rushed forward, passing it to Pliiev who outmaneuvered a Slaikau defender and scored his first (and well earned) goal. Thus the match ended with a 3-0 win for the Tadjiks, now leading group 2.

Tadjikistan Is a bit lucky today as Oglethorpia lost its 3rd game in Dennisov, Oglethorpians are missing their key players and claim this to be the main reason for losing while some say they're just doing bad. Lets hope they're doing bad, that may give us a good position to start from on MD5. This leaves only Lovebug and Gesamtkuntswerk on our tail with 9 points but less goals made.

[code:1:729231d0b4]
Group 2

Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Tadjikistan 3 3 0 0 9 0 9 9 54
2 Lovebug 3 3 0 0 7 2 5 9 54
3 Gesamtkuntswerk 3 3 0 0 6 2 4 9 54
4 Dennisov 3 2 0 1 4 2 2 6 51
5 Oglethorpia 3 1 0 2 3 3 0 3 48
6 Krytenia 3 1 0 2 4 6 -2 3 48
7 Artoonia 3 1 0 2 2 4 -2 3 48
8 Larkinia 3 1 0 2 4 8 -4 3 48
9 Rampagonia 3 0 0 3 1 6 -5 0 45
10 Slaikau 3 0 0 3 2 9 -7 0 45
[/code:1:729231d0b4]

MD1:Tadjikistan - Larkinia W 4-0
MD2:Krytenia - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD3:Tadjikistan - Slaikau W 3-0
MD4:Artoonia - Tadjikistan
MD5:Tadjikistan - Oglethorpia
MD6:Gesamtkuntswerk - Tadjikistan
MD7:Tadjikistan - Dennisov
MD8:Lovebug - Tadjikistan
MD9:Tadjikistan - Rampagoonia
MD10:Larkinia - Tadjikistan
MD11:Tadjikistan - Krytenia
MD12:Slaikau - Tadjikistan
MD13:Tadjikistan - Artoonia
MD14:Oglethorpia - Tadjikistan
MD15:Tadjikistan - Gesamtkuntswerk
MD16:Dennisov - Tadjikistan
MD17:Tadjikistan - Lovebug
MD18:Rampagoonia - Tadjikistan

Three games, seven points. About as good as could have been expected considering the dropped points were against fourth-ranked Tanah Burung in a 2-2 thriller that could go down as the finest match the Progressans have played in since the 3-2 defeat to Ravenspire in WC10, while the potential banana skins of Sprotbot - beaten 3-1 in the Progressair with two Bolidae-Baek strikes - and Daekerius, edged out 1-0 in their national stadium through a 13th-minute volley from Craita Weseydal.

The Tanah Burung match proved an epic. The Progressans opted for an unusual 3-4-2-1 formation with Hytaffi, Rarrli and Frilltanpa the three centre-backs, Winasoa and Cotaga as wing backs, Taili-Arant and Lavett as defensive midfielders, Taunilai and Ramatta as attacking midfielders and Weseydal the lone striker. The formation was used in the Audioslavia match, which the Progressans lost 1-0, and some were surprised to see it used again - but it proved effective in soaking up pressure from Tanah Burung, especially down the middle.

Twenty minutes in, Winasoa's storming run down the right wing beat two would-be tacklers before opening up a through ball to Ramatta. The pass was slightly overhit given Ramatta's unexceptional pace, but a chasing defender's slip allowed Ramatta to seize it and slide home from an acute angle for the opening goal.

Tanah Burung equalised quickly six minutes later, with a powerful run from attacking midfielder #8 setting up #11 for a simple finish past Huqi Entolibo. #11 gave the visitors the lead on 42 minutes with a 20-yard volley from a half-cleared corner and 2-1 was the score at half-time.

On 56 minutes however, the equaliser came for the Progressans. A mazy Taunilai run beat one defender, and a second bought him down awkwardly from behind just outside the box. Taunilai took the free kick himself, and hit the bar - but Weseydal seized on the rebound first to slot into a barely-guarded goal.

Both sides had a goal disallowed in the last ten minutes; the Progressans for a close offside decision against Weseydal, Tanah Burung for a push committed by #11 in the act of gaining space for a header. 2-2 proved a fair result in a match neither side deserved to lose.

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST

Three Is The Magic Number

IT'S finally happened! As the final whistle blew in Larkinia, the Celestials punched the air in celebration. They had won an international game for the first time!
Things looked bleak at the start though as it appeared to be more of the same. Larkinia kicked off, and without their opponents touching the ball, had it in the net, <CF9> rounding two defenders and Munitis first.
But it only served as a catalyst for the fired-up Celestials. Lydersen whipped a cross in on 32 minutes, and the immensely tall Seth Grüber nodded home for the equaliser. Krytenia, though, took the lead before half-time, <DF2> taking down Chris Lydersen, and Cecil Poldov whipped in the free kick, and Ari Smith nodded past the Larkinian keeper and into the net.
Two-one became three-one on the hour, Smith passing two defenders before laying off to Ulvæus, who was left with a simple tap-in. A defensive mix-up saw Clayton Lormer put the ball in his own net and set up a nail-biter of a finish, but Krytenia held on.

Krytenia now lie sixth in Group 2, intresingly on the same points as Oglethorpia. Next opponents Rampagonia are fellow debutantes, and there's a strong chance of maximum points again.

SCORES:
Larkinia.................2 (<CF9> 1, Lormer og 88 )
Krytenia................3 (Grüber 32, Smith 43, Ulvæus 60)
HT: 1-2
TEAMS:

Larkinia - <<< no roster >>>

Krytenia: Munitis - Lewison, Lormer, Grüber, Livornetto - Poldov, Lydersen, Guarado (capt), Cujetkovic - Smith, Ulvæus

Fixtures:
@ Lovebug L 1-2 (Ulvæus)
v Tadjikistan L 0-2
@ Larkinia W 3-2 (Grüber, Smith, Ulvæus)
@ Rampagonia
v Slaikau
@ Artoonia
v Oglethorpia
@ Gesamtkuntswerk
v Dennisov
v Lovebug
@ Tadjikistan
v Larkinia
v Rampagonia
@ Slaikau
v Artoonia
@ Oglethorpia
v Gesamtkuntswerk
@ Dennisov

Matchday 2
Group 4
Tim Jenkins Europro 1 The Evil Umpire 1
Calientia 1 The Redavic Union 0
The Gulf States 1 Mattigool 4
Jaodom 0 Iansisle 2
Rejistania 1 Liverpool England 1 (Tia~e 27th, Jeff Brown 77th)
Matchday 3
Group 4
Liverpool England 1 Tim Jenkins Europro 1 (Chris Frames 65th, <player> 26th)
Iansisle 0 Rejistania 2
Mattigool 1 Jaodom 0
The Redavic Union 3 The Gulf States 3
The Evil Umpire 3 Calientia 2

Table
[code:1:4221ff2604]Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Mattigool 3 3 0 0 7 1 6 9 54
2 Rejistania 3 2 1 0 5 2 3 7 52
3 Iansisle 3 2 0 1 5 2 3 6 51
4 The Evil Umpire 3 1 2 0 6 5 1 5 50
5 Liverpool England 3 1 2 0 3 2 1 5 50
6 Calientia 3 1 0 2 3 5 -2 3 48
7 The Redavic Union 3 0 2 1 5 6 -1 2 47
8 Tim Jenkins Europro 3 0 2 1 3 4 -1 2 47
9 The Gulf States 3 0 1 2 4 10 -6 1 46
10 Jaodom 3 0 0 3 0 4 -4 0 45 [/code:1:4221ff2604]

After three games, Liverpool England find themselves where they haven't been since World Cup 6 - fifth in the qualifying group. A 1-0 win over Jaodom on day 1 was less-than-satisfactory, and a draw away to Rejistania on day 2 made things worse. After today's draw against Tim Jenkins Europro, the bookies have put Philosophers coach Guy Picciotto down for 4-7 as the first manager sacked in WC Qualifying.

Picciotto, an Oglethorpian, is most well known for taking Oglethorpia to the World Cup 8 Second Round - when they lost to Oddslavo - and signed for the Philosophers in World Cup 14 Qualifying, and took Liverpool England to the Quarter Finals - their first appearance in the last eight since World Cup 9.

Experts say the team need to pick up the pace, or elimination is possible.

Sturms three for three, prepare for Team Dennisov

The Gesamtkuntswerk Sturms continue their winning streak with their third victory this cup, topping Team Rampagonia 2-0 in a rout of a match. The Sturms had clear control of the ball for the majority of the game, being broken only by a tight defensive game played by Rampagonia. Nevertheless, Padráig O Máillé made a kill in each half (40th and 76th minutes), showing the Rapmagonians that more was necessary to win than a strong defensive showings. After the game, the team seemed more determined about the next game than celebratory of the match just won. "This is only the beginning of the Cup," defenseman Lawrence Conch said after the game. "The newcomers are exactly that, but it's the veterans that we need to overtake. Oglethorpia was a good win for us, but we have Dennisov to face next match, and others beyond."

The Sturms are to face Team Dennisov in the next game.

The Daily Druid

AWAY WIN IN HOME ISLANDS
Wayne Ottgunn-Irwin at Aomizu Stadium, Matsukyo for The Home Islands 0 NEWI Cefn Druids 3

NEWI Cefn Druids picked up the pace of their qualifying campaign with a strong display against The Home Islands, coming out with a 3-0 win. Two for Gessemschmitthaagen-Po and one for veteran striker Björn-Trevor Frederiksson meant that their opponents, who were a step up in class from Coruna in their first game, had no chance. If this performance is anything to go by, the Druids look ready to take on the mighty Brazillico and Europa Brittania, who will already be tired from their match against each other that saw the double world champions of Europa Brittania beat the double world champions of Brazillico by two goals to one.

DRUIDS REMAIN UNBEATEN
Wayne Ottgunn-Irwin in The Hole for NEWI Cefn Druids 1 Brazillico 1

NEWI Cefn Druids kept their unbeaten start to their qualifying campaign going with a hard-fought draw against Brazillico last night. It showed the new found belief that the Druids have within themselves since Tim Welsh started taking his medication to bring back his confidence. The Druids were every bit as good as their superior opponents, though the help of 78,000 Druids in the hole getting behind them can't have harmed them.

The result is that much more surprising as Amos Hinton was sent off in the first twenty minutes for hacking down Guy Santos when he was through on goal. The ten men immediately went a goal down, when Santos curled an amazing free-kick that turned through 90 degrees mid-flight around the wall and past a bemused Reg Garth.

However, the Druids knuckled down, and, in the end, they got a reward for their efforts when fourty year old captain Trevor Kallins showed why he was still playing by scoring an overhead kick from a late corner. However, this was to be Kallins' last action of the match, as he landed awkwardly on his back when scoring, and looks like being out for a long while. At his age, you have to wonder whether or not he will ever make a comeback.



Results so far...

Matchday 1: NEWI Cefn Druids 2-0 Coruna
Matchday 2: The Home Islands 0-3 NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 3: NEWI Cefn Druids 1-1 Brazillico

...top scorers...

(3) Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po
(1) Trevor Belmore, Björn-Trevor Frederiksson, Trevor Kallins

...and still to come...

Matchday 4: Europa Brittania v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 5: NEWI Cefn Drudis v Everybody Dies
Matchday 6: NEWI Cefn Druids v Melmond
Matchday 7: Intelligent Madness v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 8: NEWI Cefn Druids v Turnia
Matchday 9: Lykaia v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 10: Coruna v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 11: NEWI Cefn Druids v The Home Islands
Matchday 12: Brazillico v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 13: NEWI Cefn Druids v Europa Brittania
Matchday 14: Everybody Dies v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 15: Melmond v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 16: NEWI Cefn Druids v Intelligent Madness
Matchday 17: Turnia v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 18: NEWI Cefn Druids v Lykaia

Blummin' double posts!

Crazy Dave's Commentary

Let's check out Group 3 in the World Cup XV!
Hey look, Jeruselem on top of the table.
The boyz are looking good barring a appearance by Haley's Comet.

Now who is this Raptor Claw, their team is a bunch of Raptors?
Explains their successes.

Creedence and Commerce Heights are up there in top 4.
Dark horses still.

What's up with Audioslavia? Too much drugs I say.
Poor Boscioto, suppose that 7-1 loss did them no good.

[code:1:9f0d8d8eb4]
Group 3

Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Jeruselem 3 3 0 0 12 3 9 9 54
2 Raptor Claw 3 3 0 0 10 1 9 9 54
3 Creedence Clearwater 3 2 1 0 8 4 4 7 52
4 Commerce Heights 3 2 0 1 4 1 3 6 51
5 Ineptia 3 2 0 1 4 6 -2 6 51
6 Isles of Wohlstand 3 1 0 2 3 4 -1 3 48
7 Audioslavia 3 1 0 2 1 2 -1 3 48
8 Kipto-Mare 3 0 1 2 2 7 -5 1 46
9 Sportonia 3 0 0 3 3 10 -7 0 45
10 Boscioto 3 0 0 3 3 12 -9 0 45
[/code:1:9f0d8d8eb4]

Stars Open Qualifying Well With Two Wins and A Loss; Stride A Top Group 1

GRAHAM CITY, SCOTLAND - The Stars opened up qualifying well this last couple of weeks, after the horrible Cup four years ago. The first game, which was an excellent showing of our teams skill despate the aging team, which is set to retire en masse this Cup, we defeated the newcomers Crabec by a score of 4-0. The game started off well, with a quick goal by Mark Jeremy, who used his excellent speed and ball handling skills to make it past several defenders, to score one on one on the Crabecan keeper. He scored again towards the end of the half. Pavel Julios and Kassen Illius rounded out the scoring in the second half.

Their next game was against another newbie, TripB. Defeating them easily, the Stas scored two quick back-to-back goals in the middle of the first half, both by Pavel Julios.

Today though, the Stars came up against their first real test against the Bedistan Lions. As predicted, their age advantage gave them signifigant edges over the Stars, but they still fought bravely. It looked for a while as if the Stars might take the lead early in the first half, but the Lions quickly took advantage of a defensive misstep by Moe West to take it in on goal to begin the second half. the stars then pumped it up a notch, threatening more than once on some very nice corners and free kicks. But with scant minutes left to go, the Lions stole the ball and began a quick rush down the field, scoring on a beautiful shot by Morris McGarity to finish the Clans off.

Luckily though, their easy defeats of Crabec and TripB allowed the Stars to stay on top of Group 1 on goal differential.

IN OTHER news, rumors were confirmed today as the Minister for Sports, Culture, Museums, And Other Assorted Dusty Things announced that Chee Blackwing will begin his play for the Melmondian Premier League. Suring the press conference, Chee Blackwing made the statement that: he "felt very excited at the chance to play in another country. [He] feels that this experience will help bring much needed lessons for our national squad to learn." His tenior for the Unne Yellows will begin following this World Cup. His sale was rumored to be around 15 million Clan dollars, though exact figures have not been released. He has also confirmed that he will stay on as a potential coach for next years squad, he also hinted that he might play in the next cup as well.

[code:1:1ddbb9f935]

Group 1

Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 The Lowland Clans 3 2 0 1 6 2 4 6 51
2 Bedistan 3 2 0 1 5 2 3 6 51
3 Aquilla 3 2 0 1 5 3 2 6 51
4 One Red Dot 3 2 0 1 4 2 2 6 51
5 Turori 3 1 1 1 4 3 1 4 49
6 Ktony 3 1 1 1 2 3 -1 4 49
7 Foggymushmush 3 1 0 2 5 6 -1 3 48
8 TripB 3 1 0 2 2 4 -2 3 48
9 Grand Master Mark 3 1 0 2 2 5 -3 3 48
10 Crabec 3 1 0 2 2 7 -5 3 48
[/code:1:1ddbb9f935]

GROUP 8 DELIGHT
Svecia sitting in good company


SVECIA - Svecia has returned with all of their thunder to the international scene once again. This time, after a late arrival into the cup due to a registration mishap, the Lightning have drawn a fun group. Only two teams seem to be high quality contenders: longtime rival Lemmitania, and first time opponant, but well known Dance 2 Revolution.

Qualifying has already begun and Svecia is off to a quick start as has become their typical style as of late. A 3-0 pounding of the East Asian Empire at home started off the campaign on a good note.

Svecia then travelled to the land of the Lemmings to play their archrival from past world cup quarter and semi finals. Despite inclimate weather, the Lemmings and Lightning couldn't find that one extra goal to give either team the win, and both teams finished with 2 goals in the pouring rain.

The Lightning traveled home yesterday then for a match with Bakinhale and came away with a close 1-0 win.

Currently the Lightning are in second, tied with Dance 2 Revolution. A surprising Wella team currently holds the top place with a perfect 9 points. But all three have been close one-goal wins over three teams in the bottom half of the qualifying tables.

A phone conversation earlier tonight

Voice1: So how did the Bats do tonight?

Voice2: Not too well.

Voice1: So we only beat the Druids by a goal?

Voice2: Ummm, no. We didn't even win.

Voice1: What! *Sound of shattering glass in the background*[i]

Voice2: I'm as dejected as you are.

Voice1: The flippin' Druids! Did we make it to the stadium safely at least?

Voice2: Yes, sir.

[i]*Sound of a cat being tossed across the room*

Voice1: Unfrickin' believable...

Voice2: But we did tie.

Voice1: I don't care, it's the Druids. The team who invented losing. The team who we ALWAYS beat by two goals or more given our team makes it through security. This is proposterous, ridiculous, a national tragedy!

Voice2: I share in your pain, sir.

Voice1: Tell Cosmo, if he doesn't win next game, it'll be his ass.

Click.

Divided we (almost) fohl
shakey 'slaves scrape past Wohlstand

A first half Jonny Willow header gave Audioslavia a narrow win at home over the Isles of Wohlstand. The 'slaves new four-man defence seemed to hold firm against the plucky Wohlstandians, but it was the midfield which looked shaky, and the new man up front, one Mocha de la Rocha looked almost totally out of sorts.

FINAL SCORE
Audioslavia 1 (Willow 27)
Isles of Wohlstand 0

Commerce Shite
'slaves bitch-slapped on home-turf

Audioslavia found themselves out-classed on home-turf, with a crowd of just 43,000 (80,000 short of capacity) watching.

The 'slaves started the stronger, with Mocha De La Rocha putting Jackie Croft through for the midfielder to strike the post, whilst Callum Jensen missed a sitter from seven yards.

Again, the 'slaves midfield let them down when it mattered, and a dreadful back-pass by Jeff Jordan let in a CH striker (where the fuck is your roster CH? :p) through to score the only goal of the game. Jordan found himself substituted near the end, along with an increasingly tired and un-fit James Reid who at 35 looks to be nearing the end of his international career.

If the 'slaves can take any plus-points from the game, it was the form of the two Melmondian-based players, Jordi Neeskens and Didi Romanov, who gave the 'slaves some stability at the back.

However, three members of Audioslavia's attacking line, De La Rocha, Jordan and Raddox, are totally out of form, and Jonny Willow also seems to be struggling not only on the international stage but also for his club Alan City.

Audioslavia need to make some drastic changes before their next game...

FINAL SCORE
Audioslavia 0
Commerce Heights 1 (Dude 56)

Jerusalem shock 'slaves
Weeerree gooonnnaa sccooreee one leesss thhaaann youuuu, slavia!

Audioslavia chalked up their second loss of the campaign with an equally abysmal performance against the ever-improving Jerusalem side.

Unlike the CH game, the 'slaves couldnt even get a look-in in the first half, as Manny Jones came close with a header on ten minutes before smashing home a volley on 20 minutes to put Jerusalem into a one-goal lead. Audioslavia's line-up was un-changed in both faces and form, as they lost the mid-field battle against a three-man midfield and subsequently found it difficult to get a proper foot-hold in the game.

Substitute Carsten Rossler had the 'slaves best chance of the game in the dying seconds, but placed his shot right at the keeper.

FINAL SCORE
Audioslavia 0
Jerusalem 1 (Jones 20)

[code:1:cd34b0fdea]Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Jeruselem 3 3 0 0 12 3 9 9 54
2 Raptor Claw 3 3 0 0 10 1 9 9 54
3 Creedence Clearwater 3 2 1 0 8 4 4 7 52
4 Commerce Heights 3 2 0 1 4 1 3 6 51
5 Ineptia 3 2 0 1 4 6 -2 6 51
6 Isles of Wohlstand 3 1 0 2 3 4 -1 3 48
7 Audioslavia 3 1 0 2 1 2 -1 3 48
8 Kipto-Mare 3 0 1 2 2 7 -5 1 46
9 Sportonia 3 0 0 3 3 10 -7 0 45
10 Boscioto 3 0 0 3 3 12 -9 0 45[/code:1:cd34b0fdea]

It would be easy to pass off the 'slaves abysmal form as being due to the fact that they have played two of their first three games against the top two ranked sides of the group, but that would be missing the point. Three points from three home games is NOT the sort of form a top-ten side should be experiencing. Only Kipto-Mare, Sportonia and whipping-boys Boscioto are lower the 'slaves, as they find themselves behind teams bearing the names 'Ineptia' and 'Clearwater': both by-words for 'shit' in international football.

Lee Branson needs to give the old order a shift or a kick in the ass before its too late, and Audioslavia do a world-cup 5.

I've been Jeremy Jaffacake, g'nite bitches.

BRANSON WALKS
'slaves manager leaves after row with AFA boss

After two straight defeats, Audioslavia manager Lee Branson has decided to resign from managing the national team. Branson, who is the most successful manager in Audioslavian history, walked out after a row with AFA boss Daniel Bryant, who questioned the 'slave manager's tactics and managerial style. Branson was quoted as saying 'f**k the f**king f**kers', and we agree with him.

I've been Jeremy Jaffacake again, g'nite bitches.

Losing Streak Continues: Is KT MPLG the new Druids?

Matchday three started nicely for the KT MPLG Reality Storm. They went into the locker room at the half tied at one with Lovisa. However, as usual, things fell to pieces eventually.

After the wholesale substitution in the game against TBF, they went with a much different lineup, and it seemed to be working. Ishida minded the posts, while Jones and Carsey replaced the choke-a-riffic Gold twins. Up front, Jacob Titus replaced Marian Knight, and he headed a ball from Louis Martin into the goal in the 33rd minute to tie the match. Things seemed to be settling down.

But, as they always do, KT MPLG managed to lose by multiple points anyway. In the second half, their defense was put to shame yet again, as Lovisa strikers basically had the run of the field. Two goals in three minutes (74, 77) put the score at Lovisa 3, Storm 1, and it ended that way.

With no wins and a goal differential of 1-11, the KT MPLG side is tied for last in the entire qualifying round. After the latest loss, manager Jonathan Triggs commented, "I have no idea what's going on out there. We're playing like the [expletive deleted] Druids used to, and there's just no reason for it." Perhaps this comparison is fit, but there are still fifteen more matches to play.

*Somewhere deep in Sprotbot*

Eightball did we play well today?
My Sources say no.

Eightball, did we lose
Yes.

Did we lose…. Badly
Yes.

!higherlower on

Guess the amount of goals we scored


0
higher

2
lower

1
correct! You win.

!higherlower on

Guess the amount of goals they scored



4
lower

3
Correct they won.

*Somewhere deep in Sprotbot*

Eightball did we play well today?
My Sources say no.

Eightball, did we lose
Yes.

Did we lose…. Badly
Yes.

!higherlower on

Guess the amount of goals we scored


0
higher

2
lower

1
correct! You win.

!higherlower on

Guess the amount of goals they scored



4
lower

3
Correct they won.

We are in the main office of the Bedistan Football Association in Amissville. A fairly old man, about seventy-five with very little white hair, is glaring at another, somewhat younger man. This man looks to be in his mid-late fifties with gray hair. The younger is wearing a blue shirt and shorts with gray trim. There are six white stars along the front side of the neck of his shirt, one red star on each sleeve, and a gold star just above the number 10 on the front. The word "Bedistan" is printed at the bottom. The reverse side looks much the same, but instead of a gold star, the name "Mitchell" is printed above the number.

Old Man: Well, Chuck, the results don't lie.

Not-so-Old Man: What's that supposed to mean?

Old Man: We lost to One Red Dot at home. And yet we defeated The Lowland Clans away 2-0. I believe it can conclusively be determined that YOU were responsible for that loss.

Chuck Mitchell (for that's who the not-so-old man is): That is preposterous. What I say on the air cannot possibly have any bearing on what happens out there on the pitch in Midway.

Old Man: It's called karma, Chuck. It's still haunting us after twenty years. You knew better. And that is why we must make sure you'll never do it again.

Mitchell: Wh...what are you going to do to me?

Old Man: We need a new coach. Whitehurst has been a fine manager so far, but his capabilities are limited without a coach. You've played for the Lions before, in fact you played on the squad for twenty years. I'm sure you know how to make the team win. And if you don't, you'd better learn pretty quickly.

Mitchell: What about my job at BSTV?

Old Man: We've already made arrangements for your replacement. Now go to Parker National. The team needs your leadership to face Aquilla. If they lose, you'll be receiving a one-way ticket to Pedriana. Got it?

Mitchell: *gulp* Yes sir.

Mitchell quietly walks out of the office bound for Midway. The old man laughs maniacally.

AB: Well Wickersham, You’re going to Eauz with me. You know Bookie Harris, the head of the FA, gave you a job as coach and player for as long as he’s head of the FA.
Wickersham: Look Alan, if you're the manager, you must know all the players.
AB: I certainly do.
Wickersham: Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team.
AB: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these soccer players now-a-days very peculiar names.
Wickersham: You mean funny names?
AB: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...
Wickersham: His brother Daffy.
AB: Daffy Dean...
Wickersham: And their French cousin.
AB: French?
Wickersham: Goofè.
AB: Goofè Dean. Well, let's see, we have in defence, Who's on the right, What's on the left, I Don't Know is in the centre...
Wickersham: That's what I want to find out.
AB: I say Who's on the right, What's on the left, I Don't Know's on the centre.
Wickersham: Are you the manager?
AB: Yes.
Wickersham: You gonna be the coach too?
AB: Yes.
Wickersham: And you don't know the fellows' names?
AB: Well I should.
Wickersham: Well then who's on the right?
AB: Yes.
Wickersham: I mean the fellow's name.
AB: Who.
Wickersham: The guy on the right.
AB: Who.
Wickersham: The right defender.
AB: Who.
Wickersham: The guy playing...
AB: Who is on the right!
Wickersham: I'm asking YOU who's on the right.
AB: That's the man's name.
Wickersham: That's who's name?
AB: Yes.
Wickersham: Well go ahead and tell me.
AB: That's it.
Wickersham: That's who?
AB: Yes.
PAUSE
Wickersham: Look, you gotta right defender?
AB: Certainly.
Wickersham: Who's playing right?
AB: That's right.
Wickersham: When you pay off the right defender every month, who gets the money?
AB: Every Alan of it.
Wickersham: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on right defence.
AB: Who.
Wickersham: The guy that gets...
AB: That's it.
Wickersham: Who gets the money...
AB: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Wickersham: Who's wife?
AB: Yes.
PAUSE
AB: What's wrong with that?
Wickersham: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the right defender, how does he sign his name?
AB: Who.
Wickersham: The guy.
AB: Who.
Wickersham: How does he sign...
AB: That's how he signs it.
Wickersham: Who?
AB: Yes.
PAUSE
Wickersham: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on right defence.
AB: No. What is on left defence.
Wickersham: I'm not asking you who's on the left.
AB: Who's on the right.
Wickersham: One side at a time!
AB: Well, don't change the players around.
Wickersham: I'm not changing nobody!
AB: Take it easy, buddy.
Wickersham: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on right defence?
AB: That's right.
Wickersham: Ok.
AB: All right.
PAUSE
Wickersham: What's the guy's name on right defence?
AB: No. What is on the left.
Wickersham: I'm not asking you who's on the left.
AB: Who's on the right.
Wickersham: I don't know.
AB: He's in the centre, we're not talking about him.
Wickersham: Now how did I get on the centre?
AB: Why you mentioned his name.
Wickersham: If I mentioned the centre defenders name, who did I say is playing in the centre?
AB: No. Who's playing right.
Wickersham: What's on what side?
AB: What's on left.
Wickersham: I don't know.
AB: He's on centre.
Wickersham: There I go, back on cenre again!
PAUSE
Wickersham: Would you just stay on centre defence and don't go off it.
AB: All right, what do you want to know?
Wickersham: Now who's playing centre defence?
AB: Why do you insist on putting Who on centre defence?
Wickersham: What am I putting on centre.
AB: No. What is on the left.
Wickersham: You don't want who on the left?
AB: Who is on the right.
Wickersham: I don't know.
AB & Wickersham Together:Centre defence!
PAUSE
Wickersham: Look, you gotta midfield?
AB: Sure.
Wickersham: The left midfielder's name?
AB: Why.
Wickersham: I just thought I'd ask you.
AB: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.
Wickersham: Then tell me who's playing left midfield.
AB: Who's playing right defence.
Wickersham: I'm not... stay out of the defence! I want to know what's the guy's name in left midfield?
AB: No, What is on the left defence.
Wickersham: I'm not asking you who's on left defence.
AB: Who's on right defence!
Wickersham: I don't know.
AB & Wickersham Together: Centre Defence!
PAUSE
Wickersham: The left midfielder's name?
AB: Why.
Wickersham: Because!
AB: Oh, he's centre midfield.
PAUSE
Wickersham: Look, You gott any strikers on this team?
AB: Sure.
Wickersham: A striker's name?
AB: Tomorrow.
Wickersham: You don't want to tell me today?
AB: I'm telling you now.
Wickersham: Then go ahead.
AB: Tomorrow!
Wickersham: What time?
AB: What time what?
Wickersham: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's striker?
AB: Now listen. Who is not a striker.
Wickersham: I'll break your arm, you say who's on the right! I want to know what's the strikers's name?
AB: What's on left defence.
Wickersham: I don't know.
AB & Wickersham Together: Centre Defence!
PAUSE
Wickersham: Gotta a centre mid?
AB: Certainly.
Wickersham: The catcher's name?
AB: Today.
Wickersham: Today, and tomorrow's striking.
AB: Now you've got it.
Wickersham: All we got is a couple of days on the team.
PAUSE
Wickersham: You know I'm a midfielder too.
AB: So they tell me.
Wickersham: I get behind the ball to do some fancy footwork, Tomorrow's striking on my team and a heavy midfielder gets up. Now the heavy midfielder bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good midfielder, I'm gonna collect the ball. So I pick up the ball and play it to who?
AB: Now that's the first thing you've said right.
Wickersham: I don't even know what I'm talking about!
PAUSE
AB: That's all you have to do.
Wickersham: Is to kick the ball to the defence..
AB: Yes!
Wickersham: Now who's got it?
AB: Naturally.
PAUSE
Wickersham: Look, if I kick the ball back to right defence, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it?
AB: Naturally.
Wickersham: Who?
AB: Naturally.
Wickersham: Naturally?
AB: Naturally.
Wickersham: So I collect the ball and I play it to Naturally.
AB: No you don't, you play the ball to Who.
Wickersham: Naturally.
AB: That's different.
Wickersham: That's what I said.
AB: You're not saying it...
Wickersham: I play the ball to Naturally.
AB: You play it to Who.
Wickersham: Naturally.
AB: That's it.
Wickersham: That's what I said!
AB: You ask me.
Wickersham: I play the ball to who?
AB: Naturally.
Wickersham: Now you ask me.
AB: You play the ball to Who?
Wickersham: Naturally.
AB: That's it.
Wickersham: Same as you! Same as YOU! I play the ball to who. Whoever it is misses the ball and their guy gets the ball. Who runs back and picks up the ball and plays it to What. What passess it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know plays it back to Tomorrow, Another one of their guys gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on Centre defence and I don't give a darn!
AB: What?
Wickersham: I said I don't give a darn!
AB: Oh, that's our keeper.

Well, this tournament sounds like it will be worth it. What would we need to do in order to go for Qualification for the next World Cup <also add in Kirstiriera and Adrasuvare if necessary>, if not just add Deneria to the next draw if possible as well as full admission to 'FIFA'.

Isles of Wohlstand Team Resists Arrest For Interfering With National Holiday, Ministry of Defense and N00kz Declares War On CommuniZm
COMMERCE HEIGHTS, CH - After the WCC-appointed scorekeepers from Abysmalistan, Slani Hyperinflation, Undocumented Features, and Halfslaniedstates failed to complete their duties, incorrectly recording a 7-0 CH win as a 0-1 loss to Isles of Wohlstand, several enraged federal police officers set off on a chase to bring the IoW team to justice after finding an obscure law which clearly states that it is illegal for representatives of socialist or communist nations to succeed in anything on Commerce Heights national holidays.

Undocumented Feature citizen n++ reacted furious to this report from commerce Heights. "Yes, scorekeeping was done with a program I wrote, but you seem to assume that I can't make a program which allows to increment numbers... these people are using Microcosm products so they can't tell a bug from a feature if their life depended on it. Here is the code, you can look at it" suddently he looked at one line "Oops I thought I removed that... hey, you're writing this? Out of here!"

Well, this tournament sounds like it will be worth it. What would we need to do in order to go for Qualification for the next World Cup <also add in Kirstiriera and Adrasuvare if necessary>, if not just add Deneria to the next draw if possible as well as full admission to 'FIFA'.

You have to sign up here: WC 16 Signups (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3252114) to participate next time around.

One Main Nation, and One Puppet nation may sign up. You must post as your puppet for them to be added.

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/ao/vn15.gif


Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) 1 - 2 the East Asian Empire
( DuPont 84 ) - ( East Asian Joker 45, 62 )


Helmut Vilkaus surprised everyone by naming Serge DuPont to his first Senior Start along side Callum Banda part of a young looking 4-4-2 formation missing captain Santo Kecker - who could not shake off a back problem.

After the match comfortably passed a lunchtime pitch inspection despite continual rain, it was Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) who shaded the exchanges after kick off, albeit in difficult conditions, Umberto Mello, also in his first Senior Start replacing Kecker, raced in from the right to crash a header just wide after only seven minutes.

Having abandoned their 3-5-2 formation of recent weeks, Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) were looking less fluent than during their run of victories in the Cup of Harmony and start of qualifying, and despite attempts to send Christián Dogbe and Jonathon Stott away, the Jungle Cats were rarely getting in behind their resolute opponents.

It was Banda who enjoyed the best opportunities for Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita), but the striker crashed a shot wide midway through the half, and was then guilty of steering a header well wide at close range from a Giacomo Adika cross.

In between, Dogbe's deep left wing cross was smashed goalwards from the right by DuPont shortly after the half hour mark, but like several of Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita)'s opportunities, the effort was comfortably dealt with by the East Asian Empire keeper

Before the break Banda again failed to test the East Asian stopper, firing straight at him from the edge of the box, before the visitors stole an unlikely lead in injury time, Whoe Phlung Dung taking down a through ball and turning clear of defenders to fire past Massimo Corsi.

Torrential rain during half time left all but two substitutes avoiding an on pitch warm-up as the pitch continued to fill with water, and when the players emerged for the second half it was already clear to fans that the ball would not move on the sodden surface.

Four minutes of almost farcical play followed as players slid into increasingly dangerous tackles with the ball continually failing to move, Dogbe sent powering down the right from the rarest of attacks, the winger finding room to angle a shot in on goal which just crept wide.

But otherwise competitive football had been rendered all but impossible as passes increasingly stuck in the flooded surface, and on 49 minutes, the match referee had no option but to consult his assistants and withdraw the players.

2 hours later the fans had all left assuming the match had been abandoned, However, to the distress of the Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) camp, the East Asian Empire insisted that the game be continued, likely due to the fact they held a slim advantage at the half, albeit a lucky one. Unfortunately, The referee had an Aunt residing in the East Asian Empire, and felt inclined to give the rookie team the advantage of returning to the flooded field with their one goal advantage.

When play resumed, no team could do anything with anything, as the ball would not move an inch. However, on the hour, as the ball managed to sneak into the Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) penalty area, the East Asian striker slipped on his own accord and injured his tail bone. The ref was not interested in the Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita)n appeals, and quickly awarded the East Asians a penalty kick. The clumsy player had to be helped off the field, holding his rear as he exited. The Penalty Kick was converted, and an agered Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) side was facing a 2-0 deficit against an unheard of team, playing in a lake.

Senior Debutant Serge DuPont channelled his anger, plowing through the torrential conditions, on an impressive swim up field, dolphin twirling around 6 East Asian players en route to a goal worthy of the highlight reel in any competition. However, it was too late for the Jungle Cats, who dropped their first match of the tournament 2-1 to the East Asian Empire.






[b]Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) 1 - 1 Grays Harbor
( Vella 90 ) - ( Harbor Defender 68 )



Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) dominated the low-profile fixture and had the chances to win the encounter, but struck the woodwork on three occasions and saw a goal curiously ruled out for offside - the underdogs instead going in front in the second half.

The Jungle Cats were further hampered by a Grays side which had five players booked and one red carded, Germán Salomón taken off injured after one clattering tackle and a Harbor Defender handed his marching orders in injury time after crashing an elbow into Jonathon Baledrokadroka's face as the winger raced upfield.

The Harbor Defender was also seen to connect with Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) captain Santo Kecker's face as he left the field, sparking a massive flare-up of incensed Jungle Cat players, and further extending the five minutes of stoppage time which had been awarded in part as a result of persistant Grays time wasting.

It was that extra minute of time added on by overworked referee which allowed Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) one last opportunity to level the scoreline when it looked like not being their day, and sub Jim Vella obliged, lashing home from Kecker's corner with the final kick of the game.

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/ao/vhead.gif
Jimmy Vella climbs high to head Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) back into the game as the final whistle is about to go






[b]Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) 2 - 1 Starblaydia
( Baledrokadroka 38, Banda 79 ) - ( Lazerevski 50 )



from the Corinthian Chronicle

In the City of Alikki-Corra, Starblaydia were thrust onto the world stage. Their first ever World Cup Qualifier, against experienced opposition in Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita). The great curved stands and high gantries of the Tivali Ring Stadium were a riot of colour, Green, Orange, Blue, Purple and White.

The Starblaydi fans cheered and applauded as the Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita)n Captain, Santo Kecker, graciously allowed Starblaydia to kick off in their first World Cup Match. Qualifier it may be, but no less significant for that.

The near-full 87,000-seater stadium contained more Starblaydis than expected, and they cheered their team at every one of their passes in the first few minutes. This support, however, was seemingly in vain as Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) took a hold of the game, keeping possession and starting to make camp outside the final third. Their skill and experience paid off when Jonathon Baledrokadroka was played through by Germán Salomón, putting him past the defence and firing low across the body of Boaz Myhill on 38 minutes.

Dampened but not disheartened, Starblaydia went into the dressing room at half-time just a single goal down. Coming out fresh for the second half, Starblaydia's defence held firm as Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) tried to increase their lead. This worked in Starblaydia's favour, as from a counter attack, David Bentley's lovely ball from the centre circle put Nikola "Laser" Lazerevski in a great position. Using his pace to get round a defender, Lazaerevski took aim and hit the top corner of the net, past the spectacular dive of Massimo Corsi to equalise for Starblaydia. With forty minutes left, anything could happen.

The teams traded blows but in the end, Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita)'s superior class showed through. With Enrico Bigon tiring against a five-man midfield, the Jungle Cats broke through with a determined attack, a string of crisp passing made the defence dizzy, leaving young Callum Banda the simplest of tap-ins past a flailing Myhill.

There was nothing Starblaydia could do other than try for a second, as Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) dropped deep to counter them and niether side managed to score again, despite Starblaydia having three out-and-out strikers on at the end.



http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/sched.gif
M01:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [2] - [1] Starblaydia
M02:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [1] Grays Harbor <-
M03:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [2] ????????
M04:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Lemmitania <-
M05:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Svecia
M06:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Dance 2 Revolution <-
M07:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Bakinhale
M08:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Wella
M09:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Avenging Altos <-
M10:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Starblaydia <-
M11:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Grays Harbor
M12:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] ???????? <-
M13:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Lemmitania
M14:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Svecia <-
M15:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Dance 2 Revolution
M16:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Bakinhale <-
M17:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Wella <-
M18:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Avenging Altos

How do I get into the world cup

How do I get into the world cup


You have to sign up here: WC 16 Signups (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3252114) to participate next time around.

One Main Nation, and One Puppet nation may sign up. You must post as your puppet for them to be added.

damn we suck

damn we suck

Worry ye not, grasshopper. RP well, and participate in WC16, and ye shall find salvation....and points to boot.

Do not lose faith, young knight.....

[/philoshophy]

damn we suck

Worry ye not, grasshopper. RP well, and participate in WC16, and ye shall find salvation....and points to boot.

Do not lose faith, young knight.....

[/philoshophy]

[/retarded]

[/retarded]

Keep OOC disparaging comments to yourself. This thread is polite. If you want to say something nasty, please do it in character.

If you have no characters, make some up. You tend to need them, to RP.

OOC: I am Undocumented Features's main nation.

Rampagonia: don't start insulting, staart RPing to improve. Pointless insults only annoy people. If you'd reacted ICly, things would have been much better.

Iansisle vs The Island

The Orange-Blues won the second away game of the world cup 15 qualifiers 2:0 against Iansisle. The Iansisle Ians belong to the known and liked opponents of the Orange-Blues since they have yet to lose against them despite having met most often. Despite star striker Trueman'he retired, the basic style of the play as well as their qualities remain the same: "The Ians, they are always attacking, they are playing System Hangila and they are never to be underestimated!" (quote Takil'he). Also in this match on the shield, the Ians attacked fiercely and the Rejistanians played System Imdila. Radio commentator Sirake Tekim once said: "The national team either plays defensively or (System) Karela" and that was proven this time again. The Orange-Blues had not many chances but blocked any attemps of the Ians without problems. The first half between "The Island" (ooc: a nickname for Rejistania, just like the States for the US) and the Ians ended Nil-Nil despite some rare good chances for both teams.
In the 47th minute, I Y'he could only parry a shot of Fletscher'he with much luck. Only 5 minutes later, Iansisle goalie Nielsen'he lacked that luck when Ju'he's shot into the lower right corner came unexpected for him. The Orange-blues were ahead 1:0 and the stadium as well as the rejistanian fans in front of the screens or radios were cheering. In the 78th minute, a free kick of Dini Y was headed into the goal by Milan Tia~e. The score was 2:0 and didn't change despite Iansisle attacking as if their life depended on it. Coach Laxtu Takil said that "this win was justified despite it being more close than the result looks like."

The result:
Iansisle 0
Rejistania 2 (Ju 52nd, Tia~e 78th)

The Valerian Voice
Rukbat al Ramians Are Toasted At Meijis City!

Magnus Valerius Crushes Rukbat al Rami 4-3

QM 3... Magnus Valerius... Rukbat al Rami. These two teams arrayed themselves in King William's Stadium in Meijis City. And then, as the start of the game commenced, the opponents began a strong offense. Within the first half of the game, Magnus Valerius was down 2-3. But thankfully, the cloudy skies did not break in rain and they cleared away. This was likely to be a sign, for the Rukbat al Ramian team died down. They had most likely wasted their energy in the first push to try and topple the Valerians by surprise, but the Valerian offense pieced together and won the day.

"It was a big surprise at first!" said Tsar Alexander II, in attendance as usual (he always attends the Home games). "The teams both played well, but I can't begin to say how wondrous our team played today." As of today, Magnus Valerius is ranked #3 in Group 9. Hopefully, the team can qualify this time around, we at Valerian Voice say.

Speaking of a star offensive, Jozef Hohenstauffen surprised even the fans of the Boyars with two goals in close succession. "It was an impulse... and I saw a very bad defensive position that the enemy team had set themselves up into," commented Hohenstauffen post-game.

Valeria will play at KT MPLG tomorrow. We wish our team the best of luck!

GOALS:

#33: Ismail Rosenburg (1), 1st Half
#75: Jozef Hohenstauffen (2), 1st & 2nd Halves
#67: Michael Kyritisis (1), 2nd Half

MATCHDAY PROGRESS CHART
Powered by Valeririjk Communicom

Match Day 1: Magnus Valerius v. Shang-ti, D 1 - 1
Match Day 2: Resistencia v. Magnus Valerius, W 3 - 4
Match Day 3: Magnus Valerius v. Rukbat al Rami, W 4 - 3
Match Day 4: KT MPLG v. Magnus Valerius
Match Day 5: Magnus Valerius v. Kingsford @ Tsar Alexander II Grand Colosseum
Match Day 6: Cockbill Street v. Magnus Valerius
Match Day 7: Magnus Valerius v. The Belmore Family @ Imperial Dome
Match Day 8: Lovisa v. Magnus Valerius
Match Day 9: Magnus Valerius v. Tasty Toast @ Valensian Complex

[code:1:a0f0d2c70c]Group 9

Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 The Belmore Family 3 2 1 0 9 3 6 7 52
2 Lovisa 3 2 1 0 6 2 4 7 52
3 Magnus Valerius 3 2 1 0 9 7 2 7 52
4 Cockbill Street 3 1 2 0 6 3 3 5 50
5 Kingsford 3 1 2 0 7 5 2 5 50
6 Shang-ti 3 1 1 1 3 2 1 4 49
7 Tasty Toast 3 1 1 1 2 3 -1 4 49
8 Resistencia 3 0 1 2 4 7 -3 1 46
9 Rekbat al Rami 3 0 0 3 3 7 -4 0 45
10 KT MPLG 3 0 0 3 1 11 -10 0 45 [/code:1:a0f0d2c70c]

Turnia City Tribune

World Cup XV Qualifer Report
Max Riodondo

Matchday 3 Turnia 2 Lykaia 0

The Dragons won their second straight after opening qualifiers with a loss. The national team now sits with a 2-0-1 record and 6pts. GK Villarreal also logged his second straight shutout, as the team appears to be meshing. "I certainly can't take all the credit, the defensive guys in front have saved me a few times" said Villarreal after the game. "My defensive guys are really playing well and Martin is hanging tough after Game 1. Very pleased" added defensive/goalkeepers coach Shane Turner.

The team has played remakably well in the past two games and HC Odle hopes to see more of it, "The guys are keeping their heads in the game, no doubt. Mental toughness is what I have been preaching to these guys. We may not be the most talented, but if they continue to play fundamentally sound football no telling how far we could go."

Tougher matches are to come and Game 1 was a blessing in disguise. It was a lesson in preparedness, mental toughness and confidence. Not over-confidence and high flying antics. A lesson the Dragons seem to have taken to heart.

Goals:
Tiniero- 31st
Hastings- 68th

(OOC- What a coinkydink, hehe)

Lykaia off to a rough start


Lykaia have started their World Cup effort with 3 losses. a 2-1 Loss at Melmond was the opening match of the competition. This was followed by a 3-1 loss at home to Intellgent madness. Then was the 2-0 loss at Turnia. Lykaia can take pride in their 2 goals scored, but must shape up defensively if they are going to finish anywhere off the bottom of the group.



EDIT: HOLY COW! WHAT ARE THE ODDS! Me & Turnia posted at the same EXACT time when we were posting about each other!

毎日新聞
The Daily Islander

The Rockets have thusfar played three matches, and things already seem as though they are beginning to fall apart. While the latest match was not quite as bad as the first ever home match for the Rockets, it did spark some dissention from the side, overclouding what was by far the team's greatest effort so far. However, despite the usual problematic defence that has come to associate itself with the Rockets, there were additional discipline problems that must be addressed by manager Sekiguchi.

The first came inside only the first minute of play. After a misguided idea left Satoshi Masuda far out of position, Mornakh the Bloody Handed put another goal past Tarou Yamamoto, a sight often seen as of late. Yamamoto became so enraged at his defender, and punched the goalpost. It is speculated that he has a broken hand, and substitute keeper Toshimori Mihara will start the next match.

Cards were also a problem for the Rockets. Satoshi Tsukamoto was issued a yellow for a very hard and very late tackle on Melmond midfielder Critande Unne. Osamu Nomiyama received a red card after slamming Melmondian Scott Cheney to the ground during a Rockets' corner. Nomiyama received a red card, and will miss the next match, replaced by Tsukasa Kamiya. Ren Kanai, the only bright spot for the Rockets so far, was livid with his teammate, going as far to slap Nomiyama on the field.

The match ended 1-0, and many problems now face Ichirou Sekiguchi. While they have faced some stiff competition so far, the defenders have looked extremely weak. Ren Kanai has been receiving little help from his teammates, and their starting keeper may well have a broken hand. This does not seem to be as large of a problem, however, as the Rockets backline gives up many chances that are impossible to miss. They will be hardpressed for some kind of result to boost their confidence.

We are in the stands at James Parker National Stadium in Midway, where the Bedistan Lions play all their home games. The whole nation wants to watch their team kick the **** out of Aquilla, and not a single one of the 135,000 seats is unoccupied. We got a pretty good seat, 13th row, and only had to pay þ16 for it. In addition to having this nice clear view of the match, we also have a portable 7" television set so that we can get the commentary from BSTV. This is going to be awesome.

From the TV, we barely hear the BSTV World Cup match coverage music playing over the extremely loud crowd...

Mike: Hi, sports fans, I'm Mike Green Jr. and welcome to live BSTV coverage of World Cup qualifying matchday 4! Today, a packed house here at Parker National is ready to watch the Bedistan Lions take on our arch-rivals from Aquilla. Right alongside me is the newest member of the BSTV team, Penelope Adams!

Penelope: Thanks, Mike. As you know, normally Chuck Mitchell would be here in this spot. However, he's been...shall I say, "conscripted" by the BFA to work as a coach for the team now under manager Jeff Whitehurst. That's why I'm here.

Mike: Right. And...ah, thank you, Gary. Gary Scott, our producer, has just provided me with the starting lineup for this match. OK, in goal we have...Scott Graham? An odd choice by Whitehurst...on defense, Greenwell, Mumm, Barnwell, and Brew...at midfield, Barriere, Vallecillo, Miele, and Roberts...strikers Cea and Touchstone. Hey, does anyone else find it weird that only four of the team's normal starters are starting?

Penelope: Apparently, much of the team has become afflicted with food poisoning. The team stopped last night at a Fyre and Ice restaurant in Graceville -- bad idea. Now two-thirds of our starters are out, with the reserves having to face a full-strength Aquillan team.

Mike: How do we know the Aquillan team is full strength? There's no roster to prove it.

Penelope: Chances are, the typist couldn't spell the names of the players, so he decided not to bother.

Mike: Good point. At any rate, kickoff is in five minutes, so we'll take a short commercial break and return for the playing of the national anthems.

A Fyre and Ice restaurant? That had to be more than just a coincidence, considering Fyre and Ice is one of the local Aquillapuppets. Something tells us there's something fishy going on here...

---------------

Meanwhile, in the home team's locker room...

Old Man (you know, the one from the previous scene): Look, Chuck, it's Aquilla. Everyone knows our team can beat Aquilla with one hand behind its back. You're having to play with mostly reserves -- there's your one hand tied behind your back. 90 minutes from now, I'd better see a number under "Aquilla" on that scoreboard -- preferably 0 -- and a higher number under "Bedistan". Got it?

Mitchell: *gulp* Yes sir. I'll do my best.

---------------

The game starts. There is not much action for the first twenty minutes, as the Aquillans and the Bedistanis appear to just be sizing each other up. There are a few half-hearted attacks from both sides, but they are easily stopped. Then, in the 24th minute, something changes.

Mike: Roberts making his way up the right hand side...he passes Aquillan Guy #6...#4 steals the ball, but Roberts steals it back...he plays it to the feet of Touchstone...Touchstone shoots...GGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLL! 1-0 Lions!

Penelope: Hang on, I see the referee coming out...oh my goodness, he appears to be ruling Zeke Roberts offside! There were still three defenders in front of him!

Mike: Not surprisingly, Zeke's not taking that lying down...and yep, there's the yellow card. Adding insult to injury, because of course that goal no longer counts.

Penelope: Well, you have bad calls in every match. But why this one? We've already been penalized enough.

Play calms down again for the next five minutes or so. Barriere and Vallecillo each make another failed attack before Aquillan Guy #4 finally snags the ball and heads toward the Bedistani goal.

Mike: Number four making his way up the right side...Greenwell unable to steal the ball, and he shoots! Deflected by Graham, and Aquillan Guy #4 dives! The ref saw it, he's blown his whistle.

Penelope: And that'll be a free kick for Bedistan. But why the devil is he pointing at the penalty spot?

Mike: I don't believe it! He's giving Aquilla a penalty! That was an obvious dive! What the slani hell is wrong with this referee?

Mike can be seen looking through his papers.

Mike: Oh, that explains it. The ref is half-Kingsforder, half-Abysmali. Worst combination you can get.

Penelope: Number 10 to take the penalty for Aquilla...and it's in. Graham didn't have a chance. 1-0 Eagles.

The rest of the first half is quite uneventful. The whistle finally blows to end the half.

Mike: And incredibly, the Bedistan Lions trail Aquilla one-nil at the half. If we can't win this match, our team will become the laughingstock of all NationStates.

Penelope: Let us hope it doesn't come to that.

During the halftime break, we go to relieve ourselves. Unfortunately, there's a line about 400 yards long to get into the bathroom because half the stadium's facilities are closed. By the time we get back to our seat, we're more than fifteen minutes into the second half.

Mike: And Tyrone Touchstone, the 19-year-old prodigy from Yuba United, makes his way up the right-hand side, trying to get the equalizer for the blue and silver. He takes a shot...GGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLL! That'll tie it up at one!

Penelope: Wait a second, the scoreboard is showing that goal being attributed to Aquilla...what the ****?

The referee, megaphone in hand, walks out to the middle of the pitch.

Referee: Ladies and gentlemen, unfortunately we forgot to have the teams switch sides after the halftime break. As a result, the goal scored by Bedistan's #83 went into his own team's net, not Aquilla's. Therefore, it will be counted as an own-goal and credited to Aquilla's score.

The entire stadium suddenly erupts. No fewer than 40,000 people immediately jump up out of their seats and begin marching down toward the pitch to have a one-on-one...or is that 40,000-on-one?...talk with the offending ref.

Mike: Oh ****, there's going to be a riot for sure.

Penelope: Yep, there is. I'm thinking now would be a good time to get out of here while we still can.

Mike: An excellent idea. For Penelope Adams, I'm Mike Green Jr. signing off from James Parker National Stadium, where the Bedistan Lions just lost to the Aquilla Eagles 2-0, since I don't think the match is likely to resume after this. Now, let's get the **** out of here!

Noting that discretion is the better part of valor, we decide to do as Mike and Penelope have done instead of joining the now 70,000 spectators crowding onto the pitch. Stopping just long enough to grab the portable TV, we exit, stage right.

---------------

Final score:
Bedistan 0 (Touchstone og 62)
Aquilla 2 (<player 10> pen 30)

Squornshelous Wins or Loses or Draws
Headline due to my few days off from online-age due to all night party following Stanley Cup.

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Jones: 3
Keiths: 2
Franks: 1
Grigoriev: 1

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST

All Mouth, Some Trousers

RAMPAGONIA put at least a little of their money where their mouths were as they stole a point against the Celestials.
Krytenia appear to have made a few enemies this year, and the bad blood that was on the pitch against Tadjikistan was encounterd off the pitch, a spokesman for the Rampagonian government saying on the record that Krytenia were "retarded". It was only fitting, then, that MENSA member Ari Smith was to score the first goal on 11 minutes, latching onto a well-placed Lydersen cross.
Rampagonia, though often outclassed, were never outfought, though surprisingly there were no yellow cards (possibly due to the fact that the Oglethorpian referee has to fill in six pages of forms just to give a player a ticking off.) The home side's battle paid off in first half injury time, <DF6> nodding home from a Rampagonian corner.
The game proceeded to peter out in the second half, the only incident of note being the visiting fans continuous chants of "Can You Even Spell Retarded?" - humorous, but not wise when you are the away fans.
Expect a hostile reception when the Rampagonians arrive in Avid-Diord in MD12. Meanwhile, the Celestials - now seventh - entertain basement side Slaikau with the hope of hoovering up a few points.

SCORES:
Rampagonia..........1 (<DF6> 45)
Krytenia................1 (Smith 11)
HT: 1-1
TEAMS:

Rampagonia - <<< no roster >>>

Krytenia: Munitis - Lewison, Lormer, Grüber, Livornetto - Poldov, Lydersen, Guarado (capt), Cujetkovic - Smith, Ulvæus

Top Scorers: Ari Smith & Colin Ulvæus - 2

Fixtures:
@ Lovebug L 1-2 (Ulvæus)
v Tadjikistan L 0-2
@ Larkinia W 3-2 (Grüber, Smith, Ulvæus)
@ Rampagonia D 1-1 (Smith)
v Slaikau
@ Artoonia
v Oglethorpia
@ Gesamtkuntswerk
v Dennisov
v Lovebug
@ Tadjikistan
v Larkinia
v Rampagonia
@ Slaikau
v Artoonia
@ Oglethorpia
v Gesamtkuntswerk
@ Dennisov

Spotlight On: Simon McCosh

Simon McCosh is a 21-year-old defender pegged to be one of the next great defenders from this country. McCosh is a 6’5” 215lb beast who moves well for a big man, and has quickly began to earn respect throughout LEAF.

As a pasty-looking half-Scottish kid growing up in Stoke-on-Toaste, Simon was very often teased as a child by the other kids. However, Simon was bigger than the other kids, didn’t like it and ended up getting in a lot of fights at a young age. This is where Simon’s soon to be legendary toughness stemmed from.

“He brings that same fierce attitude from the playground to the playing field,” said noted sports writer, Jim Victorino. “That no-nonsense approach did him wonders for his football career, and makes him one of the most feared players in LEAF.”

That fear is not due to raw talent, as Simon appears to be a bit on the short end of that stick, but McCosh’s determination, size, work ethic and mean streak makes opposing strikers defecate themselves.

“He tackles hard,” said Real Libertad striker, Ludvig von Whidby. “I sincerely doubt he even plays the ball in his mid-air challenges, he’s just looking to land a big hip check on you. It’s dirty, but the next time you jump up, you definitely think twice.”

Alright, so he’s not the second coming of Pele, but he still finds ways to make his style work. Some have called him “cheap”, “dirty”, “a goon”, “bamboozler of the beautiful game”, but if McCosh continues to enjoy the success he has thus far, people may need to start giving him the credit he deserves.

A Penalty Missed, An Ass Saved
Melmond Disappointed With Ending but Not Performance
By Henry Kalangalangalang of the Melmond City Herald

BRAZILLICO—There was certainly a distinct difference in atmosphere between the first match played between both of these sides in Brazillico. The first match in Brazillico was marked by a fuming animosity from the Brazillican faithful, still upset about feeling snubbed at the Cup of Harmony in Melmond. There was an excitement and tension back then where Brazillico looked to be on its way up and Melmond was horribly underachieving. As we all know, some strange things happened in that match featuring a lecherous referee chasing Melmond defender Nina Steen and an undead referee trying to ruin Brazillico’s win.
This time it was Melmond who is riding the wave of winning their first three matches. Brazillico, on the other hand, was relatively struggling. They easily won their first game against Everybody Dies, but then lost to Europa Brittania at home and merely tied NEWI Cefn Druids, a side they have historically been successful against. There are no strange referees to mess this game up as the fans of Brazillico and some brave Melmondians who made the trip were treated to solid yet rather physical football.
It was the Chili Bats to be the first side to draw the figurative first blood. Brazillico’s young football prodigy Guy Santos dribbled the ball toward daylight. As Melmond defender Nina Steen approaches to make the tackle, Santos makes an assertive looking sidestep which made the world-class defender look silly. He then sends this shot toward the upper-right corner of the net. Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm was expected a nice and hard straight shot, but instead Santos puts a little English on the ball. The ball arcs to the point where an outstretched Xtfuinxm couldn’t reach the ball. The ball hits the goalpost and banks into the net. Santos scores the first goal of the match at the 15th minute.
It was also the Chili Bats to draw the literal first blood. As Melmond was making a fast and furious and somewhat curious counterattack after a pass intercepted by Nina Steen; Melmond striker Mornakh the Bloody Handed got possession of the ball. As he was closing in on the Brazillico net, Brazillico defender Simon McCosh makes a high tackle which made Mornakh the Bloody Handed Mornakh the Bloody Shinned. The notoriously physical McCosh gets a mere yellow card at the 20th minute. Could it be home nation favoritism? Probably not.
Although Melmond did play solid football during the first half, it was the physicality of Simon McCosh and the playmaking of Guy Santos that had Brazillico dominate the statistics of the first half. Santos works his magic at the 37th minute, as he flies through the air to make the header on a corner kick past Xtfuinxm to give Brazillico the 2-nil lead and renew the sense of optimism the fans as well as the team itself had.
During the half, Manager Felix Coostatlwak had to make some personnel changes. One was mandatory, as Mornakh the Bloody Handed hasn’t been as effective ever since the high tackle by McCosh. Benjamin Leeb was put in the game in his place. Another substitution was made for strategy sake. Manager Felix Coostatlwak believed it will take a feisty young defender to stop Guy Santos. That man would be the 19-year old raw talent Trav Strachan.
Strachan played very well throughout the entire game, as his tight and physical defence kept a vacuum seal on the Brazillican prodigy Santos. The Melmond offence also had found its harmony in the first half, although it took an acrobatic feat to get their first goal.
At the 61st minute, Melmond midfielder Cristina Antunez makes a cross all the way across the midfield to find fellow midfielder Martin Goodwin. He then sees that midfielder Critandi Unne has a step on the Brazillican defender. Goodwin makes the quick pass. Critandi Unne rushes toward the goalkeeper Lisa Cannon, but seeing that Cannon is out of position, Critandi Unne makes a long distance shot s/he was sure that Cannon couldn’t recover and reach. Well Cannon did recover, but she never had the opportunity to make the reach. A very alert Camui Arai ran his fastest and made an on target dive to hit the ball in midair to change its direction to the opposite side to which Cannon made her dive for the ball. Certainly a beautiful goal which really shifted the momentum of the match toward the Fearless Farmers. The crowd silences in awe as all you can here are the spontaneous Melmondian celebrations as they are only behind 2-1. You can sense the “we’re going to blow it” attitude in the Brazillico aficionados.
From that goal on, Melmond was in control of the tempo of the match. The Fearless Farmers have found their harmony. However, the Brazillico defence was more than game as they made sure that any chance at a shot on goal wasn’t going to be easy. The shots that managed to get to the goal were easily stopped by Brazillico goalkeeper Lisa Cannon.
Brazillico was able to get off one potent counter-attack after a keen longball by defender Paul Hilario. Santos was able to beat the Melmond midfielder defending him. Strachan was charging to mark his man. Santos makes a speed burst to get past Strachan but Strachan grab’s Santos’ jersey and pulls him down to the pitch in plain sight of the referee. The feisty Trav Strachan, leader in cards in the sixth season of the Melmond Premier League, gets his first international card, a nice bright red card. The fans cheer as Strachan is sent out at the 74th minute.
The Brazillico fans could feel that they were going to put the Fearless Farmers away with the upcoming free kick. But the kick was blocked by the Melmond wall and was cleared. Despite being down one player, Melmond regained the tempo and made a last minute attack. Melmond striker Naol Keelafin was looking to make a cross to fellow striker Benjamin Leeb while he was near the end line, but then Brazillico defender Simon McCosh makes an oh-so-subtle hip check which Keelafin milked for all it was worth. McCosh gets his second yellow card of the match at the 88th minute and will miss the next match. Since the infraction was in the goalkeeper’s box, Naol Keelafin will get the penalty shot. He makes his shot and Lisa Cannon guesses correctly! However, it wasn’t because of her efforts that the ball didn’t go in; she had help from Mr. Left Goalpost, who regurgitated the ball to be kicked away by a Brazillico defender. Dr. Horatio Cosmo’s ass was saved, and as a bonus he went to the pub with Melmond manager Felix Coostatlwak to celebrate a well-played match.

Goals
Santos, BRA 15th
Santos, BRA 37th
Arai, MEL 61st

Cards
McCosh, BRA 20th
Strachan, MEL 74th
McCosh, BRA 88th

Standings

Other Group 10 Results
Everybody Dies 0 – Lykaia 3
Coruna 1 – Turnia 2
The Home Islands 4 – Intelligent Madness 2
Europa Brittania 1 – NEWI Cefn Druids 2

[code:1:1915f33cb5]Group 10
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. NEWI Cefn Druids 10 3 1 0 8:2 6
2. Europa Brittania 9 3 0 1 11:4 7
3. Melmond 9 3 0 1 8:4 4
4. Turnia 9 3 0 1 8:4 4
5. Intelligent Madness 7 2 1 1 10:7 3
6. Brazillico 7 2 1 1 7:5 2
7. Lykaia 3 1 0 3 5:7 -2
8. The Home Islands 3 1 0 3 5:10 -5
9. Coruna 1 0 1 3 4:10 -6
10. Everybody Dies 0 0 0 4 1:14 -13[/code:1:1915f33cb5]

Melmond Team Stats
Goals: Critandi Unne (3), Mornakh the Bloody Handed (3), Naol Keelafin (1), Camui Arai (1)
Cards: Trav Strachan (1), Scott Cheney (1)

Melmond National Team Schedule

v Lykaia (MPNK Stadium, Faasen) W 2-1
@ Coruna W 4-1
v The Home Islands (Lifedonations Stadium, Morales) W 1-0
@ Brazillico L 2-1
v Europa Brittania (Melmond Bowl, Melmond City)
@ NEWI Cefn Druids
v Everybody Dies (MelAir Park, Lee)
v Intelligent Madness (Frankndottir Stadium, Acosta)
@ Turnia
@ Lykaia
v Coruna (White Bread Dome, Suburbia)
@ The Home Islands
v Brazillico (Microcosm Football Colossuseum, Aldi)
@ Europa Brittania
v NEWI Cefn Druids (Feliz-Unne Stadium, Unne)
@ Everybody Dies
@ Intelligent Madness
v Turnia (Makinshakes Stadium, O’Connor)

Next Game
vs. Europa Brittania (Melmond Bowl, Melmond City)

On paper, one would think that the Fearless Farmers will have a tough time with this match. Melmond is coming off a loss and they are playing perennial powerhouses Europa Brittania. However, one can feel a sense of confidence from this version of the Melmond National Team. “We tied them the last time we played them, we are much better and they aren’t as good this time around compared to then, we should do very well.” These were the words of goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm. Unfortunately for Melmond, they are running a bit thin at striker as Mornakh the Bloody Handed will be ready to substitute but won’t start. Chris Owen is still out with the ankle injury. However, defender Scott Cheney makes his return. Here is the starting lineup.

GK- Snhp Xtfuinxm
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Sergio Ortiz
D- Scott Cheney
D- Nina Steen
M- Martin Goodwin
M- Critandi Unne
M- Camui Arai
M- Cristina Antunez
F- Benjamin Leeb
F- Naol Keelafin

Melmond Bowl
Location: Melmond City, Melmond
Seats: 92,542 (Open Air)

Melmond City is the capital and largest city in Melmond. The United Postmodernist States of Melmond grew from this ancient city which was said to be visited by the mythical light warriors. Anything and everything happens in the megalopolis known as Melmond City. The Melmond Bowl was built so that Melmond would have a national stadium of sorts. Its original purpose was football. It is the home of the 3-time Melmond Premier League champion Melmond City Blues. It also hosted events in the Exclusive Capitalizt Zone Olympics as well as various other events. Tickets are sold out for this big matchup!

Raptors Claw down Sportonia, Top the Table

Raptor Claw went into their match in Sportonia level on points and goal differential with group leaders Jeruselem. On the back of 3 consecutive wins, The outlook was positive for the match against the World Cup Newcomers. However, some defensive holes had been exposed in the match against Boscioto, which saw the Raptors concede their first goal in the competition, and Claw fans would soon see that their sides weak point would haunt them again.

Sportonia, playing infront of a strong home crowed, would open the scoring 20 minutes in on a Sporty Spice free kick. The kick came following a period of mixed action where neither side had a notable advantage over the other. Sportonia would only find one further scoring opportunity from there on in, which they failed to capitalize on as the Raptors turned up the heat.

In the second half, the Raptors Clawed back once again, equalizing in the 53rd minute after being justly awarded a clean penalty kick. The match was won 15 minutes from time when the Raptor was sent clear, making no mistake one on one with the keeper. As the clock ran down, news started to filter of the victory of Commerce Heights over Jeruselem, and as the final whistle blew, the contengent of Raptor Claw away support erupted into cheers, as they found themselves on top of the group table for the first time in their National History.

In other group 3 action, favorites Audioslavia made no mistake disposing of Creedence Clearwater by the lone goal. Bottom sides Ineptia and Boscioto squared off with Boscioto once again on the losing end, dropping a 3-1 decision. former Raptors opponent Kipto-Mare also went down 3-1, to the isles of Wohlstand.



....Raptor Claw's Group

[code:1:fdf00094ce]
Group 3

Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
* 1 Raptor Claw 4 4 0 0 12 2 10 12 54 *
2 Jeruselem 4 3 0 1 12 5 7 9 51
3 Commerce Heights 4 3 0 1 6 1 5 9 51
4 Ineptia 4 3 0 1 7 7 0 9 51
5 Creedence Clearwater 4 2 1 1 8 5 3 7 49
6 Isles of Wohlstand 4 2 0 2 6 5 1 6 48
7 Audioslavia 4 2 0 2 2 2 0 6 48
8 Kipto-Mare 4 0 1 3 3 10 -7 1 43
9 Sportonia 4 0 0 4 4 12 -8 0 42
10Boscioto 4 0 0 4 4 15 -11 0 42
[/code:1:fdf00094ce]

The Evil Umpire has beaten The Gulf States 2-1. The terrible tripping teabags terrorize all! We're so evillllllllllllllll! MWAHAHAHAHAHA...HAHAHA!

Artoonia - Tadjikistan 0-3

Tadjiks remain unbeaten, but for how long?

Artoonia - The Tadjiks travelled to Artoonia to play their 4th match, against another newcomer, Artoonia. They are new, Cherniakhovskij proved that on the 25th minute with a great shot from almost 40m away right into the left top corner of the goal, probably one of the most beautiful goals we have seen so far.

The Artoonians fought back and did what they could to stem the Tadjik tide, they kept it up until the second half. In the second half Triandafillov led his men over the always dangerous flanks, beginning with a long rush by Pliiev. The young Pliiev is a talented player that may become the new captain of the Tadjik national team but he still lacks some experience though, and the lack of experience kept him from his second goal.

He was involved in the second goal of the match when assisting Luchinsky in the 62th minute, Luchinsky secured the victory for Tadjikistan by putting 0-2 on the scoreboard. Artoonia was almost beaten, but they still fought back. The Artoonians finally gave up their resistance in the 79th minute when Cherniakhovskij scored the third goal of the game, ending the match with a 0-3 victory for the Tadjiks.

Other group results:
Rampagonia 1 Krytenia 1
Slaikau 1 Larkinia 4
Artoonia 0 Tadjikistan 3
Oglethorpia 3 Lovebug 1
Gesamtkuntswerk 1 Dennisov 1

Tadjikistan has an excellent 4/4, but it does not mean that We will qualify, we still have to meet the strongest teams in the group. And many critisize the federation for cheering while we have only beaten newcomers. Michael Frunze, TNFF President replied: "So that means that if we dont qualify, we never get to cheer! Please if we win, we should party. each win brings us closer to the top." And this reporter agrees with Mr Frunze, as he's still recovering from last nights victory-party.

Tadjikistans next opponent will be Oglethorpia (WRL 6), probably the most dangerous enemy on our path, Oglethorpia is 6 points behind us and does not form a direct threat. A defeat against them however, could have serious consequences for our position in the group, Lovebug can catch up with us if they win and Gesamtkuntswerk could jump over us. This match against Oglethorpia and the next one against Gesamtkuntswerk will be crucial. Cross your fingers.

[code:1:5323e83240]
Group 2
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Tadjikistan 4 4 0 0 12 0 12 12 54
2 Gesamtkuntswerk 4 3 1 0 7 3 4 10 52
3 Lovebug 4 3 0 1 8 5 3 9 51
4 Dennisov 4 2 1 1 5 3 2 7 49
5 Oglethorpia 4 2 0 2 6 4 2 6 48
6 Larkinia 4 2 0 2 8 9 -1 6 48
7 Krytenia 4 1 1 2 5 7 -2 4 46
8 Artoonia 4 1 0 3 2 7 -5 3 45
9 Rampagonia 4 0 1 3 2 7 -5 1 43
10Slaikau 4 0 0 4 3 13 -10 0 42
[/code:1:5323e83240]

Matches and results:
MD1:Tadjikistan - Larkinia W 4-0
MD2:Krytenia - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD3:Tadjikistan - Slaikau W 3-0
MD4:Artoonia - Tadjikistan W 0-3
MD5:Tadjikistan - Oglethorpia
MD6:Gesamtkuntswerk - Tadjikistan
MD7:Tadjikistan - Dennisov
MD8:Lovebug - Tadjikistan
MD9:Tadjikistan - Rampagoonia
MD10:Larkinia - Tadjikistan
MD11:Tadjikistan - Krytenia
MD12:Slaikau - Tadjikistan
MD13:Tadjikistan - Artoonia
MD14:Oglethorpia - Tadjikistan
MD15:Tadjikistan - Gesamtkuntswerk
MD16:Dennisov - Tadjikistan
MD17:Tadjikistan - Lovebug
MD18:Rampagoonia - Tadjikistan

OOC: Your RP is fine Krytenia except for...
... Oglethorpian referee ...

Uh Oh, an Oglethorpian referee, wouldnt he favor your opponents into a draw, with his own national team in the group? I believe an Eauzian, Brazillican or Melmondian referee to be better(more neutral) for the job.

“Welcome to the first day of World Cup qualifying!” Even over the wireless, announcer Brian Walden had to keep his voice raised to drown out the crowd noise. “We’re here in the Westergate Footballing Grounds, ready to kickoff Iansisle’s game against the Gulf States. With me here in the announcer’s box is renowned, and freshly retired, striker Alexander Truman. Alex, it’s swell to have you with us.”

“It’s good to be here, Brian” replied Truman. “Though it is different, y’know, watching the game.”

“I un-”

“Instead of playing in it.”

“Ah, I understand. We’ll be getting underway in fifteen minutes. Now Alex, I hear you’re looking into becoming a full time broadcaster?”

“That’s right.”

“Erm, I see. For Ians games only?”

“I’d rather like to comment on a few Vesshampton FC matches. The old home team, you know.”

“Of course. And do you have anything to say about the coming match?”

“Against the Gulf States? Sure - we’ll mobilize them.”

“Do you even know anything about the team or their country?”

“They’re hosting the Cherry Cup, aren’t they?”

“What are you talking about? The Third Cherry Cup already ended! Remember, the Gulls made it to the finals?”

“No, no - the Fourth Cherry Cup. Aren’t they playing it right now? In the Gulf States?”

“Look, Alex - I don’t mean to be rude, but I just took my family to see the Gulls scrimmage against the Noropian All-Stars (a finely played game, by the way, with goals by Woolf and Pederson for Ianapalis) a week ago. There isn’t a fourth Cherry Cup!”

“Uh, gentlemen?” That was the station manager. “I think this is supposed to be about football.”

“Of course,” said Walden smoothly. “So, with the kickoff in thirty seconds, we’re agreed - the Gulls will win.”

“The Ians,” corrected Truman. “Football, right? Because the Gulls will probably win too.”

“Whoever,” replied Walden.

----

((clips from the latest edition of the Ianapalis Star-Tribune: ))

The Good, the Bad, and the Ians

F.H. Devlin
Ians Correspondent

...Things are as they should be at last. Normally, the Ians have extreme trouble with the lower ranked teams in their group, only to hold their own and (every now and then) beat the higher ranked. In this Fifteenth World Cup, however, quite the reverse is true: the Ians are playing to expectation, beating two lower ranked teams and losing to two higher ranked!..

...Obviously, one can’t get too optimistic this early in qualifying, but should the trend continue, the Ians’ chances look good. They were the third ranked team in group coming in - meeting expectations, at last, will be good enough for a berth in the World Cup...

...After last year’s adventure in Kingsford and Oglethorpia, Ians fans expect little other than success from their team...

...Support for the team, including the near-riots following the opening day victory over the Gulf States, has never been higher...

...Coach Westmore has expressed every confidence in his team. Although the loss of superstar Truman hurt the offense, Westmore assures reporters that ‘the Lion’ and Ravenhill can fill in the gap nicely...

((sorry for the excessively short and crappy post. I’m rather short on ideas right now, but I need to get something up. Hopefully, another day or two will clear my head and I can get something decent posted.))

A few hours after the Mattigool match, the 1:2 loss to be exact.

Reporter: Takil'he, a few questions please!
Laxtu Takil: ok, go ahead!
Reporter: Are you satisfied with the performance of the Orange-Blues today?
LT: I told my players what I thought exactly, I mean, of course I can't be satisfied with a loss, but I won't start critisizing my team in public. I'll do that after we fail to qualify, if it happens.
Reporter: So you expect to miss qualification?
LT: No, why do you think that?
Reporter: You said: "I'll do that after we fail to qualify, if it happens." so you seem to consider it at least a bit likely.
LT: I am Hito, so don't expect good grammar of me. (smiles) And besides, it is unlikely but not impossible, you always need to take into account that every time good teams fail to qualify: The Belmore Family, Kaze Progressa, Snub Nose 38...
Reporter: After this loss, did you ever think about ... personal consequences?
LT: Can you become a bit more clearly, do you want me to resign?
Reporter: Ahem, yes, that's what I ment.
LT: I think that it is no shame to be 4th in the table after the three hardest matches. You are not Hsideratu'he, are you?
Reporter: Ji Hsideratu, why do you ask?
LT: I remember that you asked me the same thing about four years ago when the Orange-Blues were 6th in the table after the hardest matches. To remind you, we won the group that time and advanced up to the final. Your pessimism was not justified at that time.
Reporter: Well, Do you think about personal consequences?
LT: To be honest, yes. (reporter gasps) Next time, I'll let Ki'he start.
Reporter: Hansalda?
LT: Yes, Hansalda Ki.
Reporter: You are kidding?
LT: Maybe. I just wanted to give you a story to write so I can now spend some time with my family.
Reporter: oh, then thanks for the interview.

The Valerian Voice
KT MPLG Defeated By The Boyars, 1 -2

Magnus Valerius Seats Itself at Top of Group 9 MD 4 Rankings

While the national team was still drinking the sweet nectar of its victories over Resistencia and Rukbat al Rami, they had to fight for their right in KT MPLG for a ranking today. The stellar performance and close games were mirrored yet again today by the Boyars. The game was away, but the opponents were not shaping up to much according to their other games; they had lost all of their previous matches, and so it was expected that KT MPLG would not put up a great game. In fact, that assumption was quite wrong to an extent.

Renald de Sackville (#00) opened off the game with a goal within 10 minutes. However, KT MPLG put up a struggle and its offensive line surprised the Valerian defensive with a quick retaliation. The first half ended with both teams tied, 1 - 1. However, in the second half, KT MPLG's offensive spirit died off, and they took a defensive stance. They blocked many goal attempts by Valerian stikers, but soon Zell-am-See (#24) broke the KT MPLG defense. The game was won, 1 -2. And, not only was it just another victory... it was a win that established Magnus Valerius at the top of its Group at the moment.

"This is very exciting," exclaimed Rick Nantes (#01), Goalkeeper. "In all of its history, the Valerian national team had not even attained this spot in the Qualifiers. I just hope that we hold onto this position."

It may be hard to do that, however. Tomorrow, at the Tsar Alexander II Grand Colosseum (or TAGC), the Boyars will host Kingsford... the top ranked team in the world. It will definitely be a tough and close match - Valerian elan has not weathered down just yet!


GOALS:

#00 - Renald de Sackville, (1), 1st Half
#24 - Ernst von Zell-am-See (1), 2nd Half

MATCHDAY PROGRESS CHART
Powered by Valeririjk Communicom

Match Day 1: Magnus Valerius v. Shang-ti, D 1 - 1
Match Day 2: Resistencia v. Magnus Valerius, W 3 - 4
Match Day 3: Magnus Valerius v. Rukbat al Rami, W 4 - 3
Match Day 4: KT MPLG v. Magnus Valerius W 1 -2
Match Day 5: Magnus Valerius v. Kingsford @ Tsar Alexander II Grand Colosseum
Match Day 6: Cockbill Street v. Magnus Valerius
Match Day 7: Magnus Valerius v. The Belmore Family @ Imperial Dome
Match Day 8: Lovisa v. Magnus Valerius
Match Day 9: Magnus Valerius v. Tasty Toast @ Valensian Complex

Rankings:

[code:1:b1f2ba28eb]Group 9

Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Magnus Valerius 4 3 1 0 11 8 3 10 52 *
2 Cockbill Street 4 2 2 0 8 4 4 8 50
3 Kingsford 4 2 2 0 10 7 3 8 50
4 The Belmore Family 4 2 1 1 10 5 5 7 49
5 Lovisa 4 2 1 1 8 5 3 7 49
6 Shang-ti 4 2 1 1 6 4 2 7 49
7 Resistencia 4 1 1 2 6 8 -2 4 46
8 Tasty Toast 4 1 1 2 3 5 -2 4 46
9 Rekbat al Rami 4 0 0 4 5 10 -5 0 42
10KT MPLG 4 0 0 4 2 13 -11 0 42 [/code:1:b1f2ba28eb]

Weegie Star: Sport Report

Weegies 2 - 0 Kodia

The Weegies bounced back from an away defeat against Morrigavania to defeat new team Kodia 2-0 at the Dear Green Place.

To be honest, the Kodians looked overwhelmed, with Ferguson running rings around the inexperienced Kodian defence, but their goalkeeper, along with a couple of unbelievable misses by Dunn, left the Kodians not too embarrassed by the scoreline.

The first goal was scored by Ferguson in the 34th minute. Taking the ball from an oncoming Kodian striker, he found his way through the defence, and slipped it over to Dunn. Dunn's strike slammed off the post, but left the ball for Ferguson to volley past and gain a lead before half time.

The Kodian defence suffered numerous attacks as play continued, but again aquitted themselves well, aided by an inability by the Weegies to find the target. The Kodian defence had tightened somewhat, but by the75th minute it turned out to be not enough. Gaining the ball from Ferguson, Piccolo showed why he's still the best winger in the WPL, taking the ball and slicing it into the penalty box, where Dunn headed it past fro another goal for the Weegies.

"Ach, well, the Kodians did well." said Britton after the match. "Gave us trouble trying to attack them, and fair play to them, their goalkeeper was excellent out there. I mean, pulling off good saves in front of a hostile crowd is never easy - I should know - and the Weegie fanbase is one of the most hostile out there. But in the end, I think we just proved too strong for them."

And what about the next match, against major team Total n Utter Insanity? "We'll have to see. Larsson's back, and after his great performance, we'll be looking confident, even away. But they're good. I think if we're good as well, give 100%, we can hold them off, maybe even edge them out."

A Tale of Tough Titties
Taken from Channel xXx's Naked News

The main presenter, Busty St. Clair, hands over to her Sports Editor, Hooty McBoob, who begins the sports round up, punctuated with all sorts of jiggles, wiggles and giggles.

"Thanks Busty. Two away matches for Starblaydia gain them their first 'World Cup Qualifiying point, but leave them propping up Group 8. Here's what the players had to say:

The Caption flashes up: Ryan Garry, Starblaydia Captain
"When Avenging Altos put one past us after three minutes, we were really disheartened. Its a real boost to the lads to have equalised with the last kick of the game."

Stefan Haldorsson, Starblaydia
"I just don't know how I did it. I saw the ref was about to blow the whistle and just booted it out of frustration. The fact I was in my own half at the time didn't occur to me."

David Bentley, Starblaydia
"I thought it was a long ball, and went after it. Then I thought it was going out. Then I realised it had dropped into the net. The crazy fool had scored from sixty yards."

Avenging Altos 1 - 1 Starblaydia
(Anonymaltos, 3) (Haldorsson 90)

Hooty McBoob comes back on the screen
"Then Starblaydia went to Bakinhale looking for an equally good result. Unfortunately they lost, two-one. Here's the low down."

Ryan Garry, Starblaydia Captain
"Opening the scoring is always lovely, and I really reaspect David for setting-up Nikola for the goal, as he had a better chance of scoring than David."

Aiden Matranga
"Well after I came on for Stefan, they were all over me. That's what really allowed them to score two. I suck at tackling, really."

Bakinhale 2 - 1 Starblaydia
(Shakin'n'Bakin 58, 60) (Lazerevski 33)

OOC: Anyone who saw this in the Scores thread was having a psychic episode. Contact your local Government Offical for more information

Sowhatsville News

FIFA neighbours provide cheer for managerless Hurricanes.

After the debacle of the opening 3 games, and 7 without a win, the Hurricanes faced off against neighbours Kaze Progressa knowing that a win was badly needed to keep the chance of qualification in their grasp.
With coach Piper having stepped down after the 1-1 draw with Qia, former player Robin Sherwood came in for a game to give the team a pep-talk.
"It was great listening to him, he gave the players a real boost and reminded them of what it meant to be wearing the green of Halfassed" commented keeper James David - who kept his first clean sheet of the campaign.
A goal from Platypi striker Wicks just before the hour mark put Halfassed ahead, and with 15 minutes left, O'Connor's Green star Woods got his second of the campaign and the decisive goal in this game to grab all three points for the Hurricanes.

The win gives Halfassed 5 out of 12 points and leaves them a still a long way off the group leaders Nikea and The Republican Army on 12.

Apparently the HFA are searching for a new manager, there have been some rumours over the future of Bedistan coach Chuck Mitchell although no-one would confirm if he had been contacted regarding the post. If he does get appointted, former under-21 captain John Bell may find his chances in the senior team very limited after his antics in the 3rd Under-21 cup.

The Daily Druid

EUR NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS!
Wayne Ottgunn-Irwin on Europa Brittania 1 NEWI Cefn Druids 2

This is the one! The most significant result in Druid football since their first ever victory against SterlingIce in WCXII qualifying. It showed us that the Druids are actually now taking the game seriously, and with performances like this, you can see them going a lot further than ever before. As long as they keep it up.

However, it seemed a long way off after only five minutes. The Druids, who had been forced into two changes in defence, looked like they had four strangers playing together at the back. They conceded when the two replacements, Trevor Griffiths and Eric Groves, both tried to clear a corner at the same time, and the ball flew up off Groves into the net.

The Druids, came back, though, and Bill Posters scored a cracking volley just before half time. In the second half, the Druids looked the better side, but couldn't find a way through their host's defence. Then, with fifteen minutes left, Tim Welsh decided to throw on twelve-year old wonderkid Trevor Law in place of Frederiksson. The youngster was a revelation, and played like someone ten or fifteen years older than he actually is. How Welsh managed to find this kid, we'll never know, but he looks like a superstar in the making already.

Law's impact was just what the Druids needed, and with five minutes to go, he shimmied past two EB defenders and unleashed a screamer into the back of the net.

Afterwards, Welsh told us why he brought the youngster on. He said, "I thought it'd trick them into thinking Trevor was just a useless little kid, and that we were playing tricks on them, but they underestimated him. I don't know if it'll work again, though. People will be ready for him now, but we might put him on if we're a couple of goals up, or indeed down, one game, just so there'll be a little less pressure on the lad."

Knowing the Druids, they'll probably get beat at home to Everybody Dies in tehir next match, but for now, enjoy it - the name NEWI Cefn Druids tops the Group 10 table after four games! Ah well, only fourteen to go...

Final score:
Europa Brittania 1 [Groves o.g. 5]
NEWI Cefn Druids 2 [Posters 44, Law 85]

Druids team ( 4-3-3 ): Garth; Griffiths, Phillipson, Lambealle, Groves; Posters, Welsh [Orange 63], Holmes; Frederiksson [Law 75] Belmore, Gessemschmitthaagen-Po.

Results so far...

Matchday 1: NEWI Cefn Druids 2-0 Coruna
Matchday 2: The Home Islands 0-3 NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 3: NEWI Cefn Druids 1-1 Brazillico
Matchday 4: Europa Brittania 1-2 NEWI Cefn Druids

...top scorers...

(3) Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po
(1) Trevor Belmore, Björn-Trevor Frederiksson, Trevor Kallins, Bill Posters, Trevor Law.

...and still to come...

Matchday 5: NEWI Cefn Drudis v Everybody Dies
Matchday 6: NEWI Cefn Druids v Melmond
Matchday 7: Intelligent Madness v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 8: NEWI Cefn Druids v Turnia
Matchday 9: Lykaia v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 10: Coruna v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 11: NEWI Cefn Druids v The Home Islands
Matchday 12: Brazillico v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 13: NEWI Cefn Druids v Europa Brittania
Matchday 14: Everybody Dies v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 15: Melmond v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 16: NEWI Cefn Druids v Intelligent Madness
Matchday 17: Turnia v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 18: NEWI Cefn Druids v Lykaia

Jeruselem Government News

No panic as Jeruselem loses to Commerce Heights

Jeruselem's winning streak was brought to a halt by World Cup XV favourite Commerce Heights 2-0. Despite the loss, there will be no panic as the match was expected to be difficult and CM showed why they are favourites. Raptor Claw heads Group 3 with another win with Jeruselem and CM not far behind.

Group 3
Isles of Wohlstand 3 Kipto-Mare 1
Boscioto 1 Ineptia 3
Sportonia 1 Raptor Claw 2
Audioslavia 1 Creedence Clearwater 0
Commerce Heights 2 Jeruselem 0

<OOC>Here's part one of the match day 4 commentary, against Vilita. It's the first match commentary I've written since the wc13 semi against Spaam, so bear with me. Part two will follow, tonight, if things are willing. Unfortuantely, my disk drive crapped out last night, preventing timely posting...

This RP references some wc4 and 7 commentaries. For the edification of anyone who cares to refresh their memories regarding the Brazillico Grand Hotel (seeing as that was over a year ago... egad...), here's the link to my own archive: http://homepages.nyu.edu/~pcj1/WC/
</OOC>

Live from Lemsas City, this is Lana Maelstrom, the Dean of Lemmitanian sports, on the Lemmitanian Radio Network. Tonight, your Lemmitania Lemmings face the Jungle Cats of Vilita in qualifying action for the fifteenth World Cup of football. Joinin' me in the booth to call tonight's match are Melanie Melsterson, Lemstein Blue, an' Optimus Moz-Lemson. Welcome to the program, folks.

Mel: Thanks, Lana. A pleasure as always.

Lemstein: Yo.

Optimus: Right.

Mel: The referee is bringing the captains to midfield, now. That's Santo Kecker for Vilita and Pongo Tripwilliger for the Lemmings. Kecker's going to call it heads, and it comes up... tails.

Lana: Tripwilliger elects to begin with possession, and that's wot the Lemmings will do when we return from this important message.


Boy: Oh, man! Not chicken again. I'm so tired of chicken, mom!

Mom: But chicken is the Lemmitanian national dish!

Boy: No, it isn't. Lemming is.

Mom: But this is lemming. It's chickenized lemming.

Boy: Well, it tastes like chicken to me.

Mom: That's because the Electric Lemmings Chickenizer, from Eclectic Lemming Corporation, is such a wonderfully infallible product. It makes lemming indistinguishable from chicken!

Boy: Well, I'm sick of it! I wish we could eat something different for a change.

Mom: Something different? Like what?

Boy: How about lemming?

Mom: But the lemming tastes like chicken! Oh, what a pretty pickle.

Boy: Say, what's that on the shelf?

Mom: Why, that's a brand new Electric Chickenized Lemming Re-Lemmingizer! It's the latest product from Eclectic Lemming Corporation. I'd forgotten we have that!

Boy: What's it do?

Mom: Well, according to the package, it takes, dull, lifeless chickenized lemming and turns it into bright, beautiful, juicy, delicious lemmingized chickenized lemming!

Boy: I don't understand all that.

Mom: It makes this "chicken" taste just like lemming.

Boy: Oboy! Let's try it.

Mom: Okay. Just put your chickenized lemming in the chickenized lemming compartment... now press the big red button, and watch it go to work!

Boy: Wow! That's neato!

Mom: And now that your chickenized lemming has been re-lemmingized, how does it taste?

Boy: Mmm! It's lemming! It's lemming!

Jingle: Sick of chicken? Don't despair--
Just lemmingize away your cares!

Voiceover: The Electric Chickenized Lemming Re-Lemmingizer from Eclectic Lemming Corporation: it's the closest you can come to real lemming flavor without not chickenizing your lemming in the first place! Buy one today!


Lana: Okay, that was kind of weird. But we're set for the kickoff 'ere at Narrow'ead Stadium in Lemsas City. It'll be Lempoona Wapt startin' it off for the Lemmings, an' with a gentle pass to Wapitas Plum, we're under way. Mel, you 'ave the rosters, I b'lieve.

Mel: For Vilita, it's goaltender Massimo Corsi; the defenders, Danilo Liguori, Enzo Ahat, and Giacomo Adika; in midfield, Santo Kecker, Jonathon Stott, Jurgen Ramzi, Jonathon Baledrokadroka, and Alexander Ostling; and the strikers, Callum Banda and Germain Salomon.

Lana: You sure of those pronunciations?

Mel: No, not really.

Lana: Some of 'em don't sound right.

Optimus: When you talk, it doesn't sound right either.

Lana: 'ey! Your dad's a lowlander, don't forget.

Optimus: Yeah, well, he talks funny too.

Mel: First team for the Lemmings today are goaltender Tal Blunderbuss of the Lemmington Vipers; defenders Lemmette Squiggleburdle, of the Lemlanta Lemminghawks; Lorna Quagmire, from the Lemsas City Leafs; Pongo Tripwilliger, from the Lemago Lembeasts, and the Lemvoola Leemcats' Melanie Atrois. In the middle, last season's top scorer in the United Lemmitanian Football League, Zacharias McLemphoodle, of the Lemco City Lions; Stanislaw Lem of the expansion Pirx Pilots; Lemburger Lemson-- no relation to Gil and Optimus-- from the Limmsburgh Longfoots; and Lumpy "Lungfish" Ghoti, of the Lemumbus Lemeyes. The strikers are Lempoona Wapt from the Vipers, and Wapitas Plum of the Ft. Lemming Snailbirds, another recent expansion to the ULFL.

Lana: An' as we discussed on the wrapup show a couple weeks ago, every one of the starters for the Lemmings are playin' in their first Cup.

Mel: It's the first international experience for most of them.

Lana: An' speakin' of newcomers, we 'ave two of 'em in the booth with us tonight. At the top of the broadcast I welcomed Lemstein Blue an' Optimus Moz-Lemson, a pair of gents who'll be familiar to Lemmitanians for their exploits on the field, but 'oo are new to the broadcastin' game.

Lemstein: I'm not new. I was here two weeks ago.

Mel: This is your first time calling a game, though.

Optimus: I'm not new either. I used to come in here when I was a kid.

Lana: Broadcasts I remember well. And prolly some of our listeners do as well.

Mel: To bring us back to the action for a moment, we've got McLemphoodle in control of the ball, and he's challenged by Enzo Ahat. Ahat gets a foot on it as McLemphoodle's attempting a pass to Plum, and now Baledrokadroka and Ghoti are battling for it. The Lungfish comes away with it and gets it back to Lem near the center line.

Optimus: The Lungfish?

Lana: That's wot they call 'im.

Optimus: For Bejeezus' sake, why?

Lemstein: Heh. Me and Lemmette started that up.

Optimus: Because...

Lemstein: ...we thought it'd be funny.

Optimus: And how'd that work out for you?

Lemstein: Pretty well. As you can tell by the fact that everybody always calls him "Lungfish" now.

Optimus: And that's funny, is it?

Lemstein: I think it's pretty funny.

Mel: McLemphoodle with the ball, and he takes a shot from about fifteen meters-- Ahat was a step behind there, but Corsi wraps it up, and everyone's going to head back toward the other end. So the Jungle Cats go on the attack. Corsi hurls it past the center line, and Stott with a header sends it another five meters to Kecker. And Ghoti is right there with him.

Optimus: How is "Lungfish" a relevant nickname for him?

Lemstein: Screw relevance! This is humor, man.

Optimus: Random nicknames aren't funny.

Lemstein: It's not random. Look, his first name's Lumpy. His last name's Ghoti. What could be more appropriate than calling him "Lungfish?"

Optimus: Just calling him Lumpy.

Lemstein: That wouldn't be funny!

Optimus: I don't know. I think the mere fact that his parents named him "Lumpy" is freaking hilarious.

Lemstein: This from a guy named Optimus.

Optimus: Screw you.

Lemstein: Hey, screw you right back, buddy.

Optimus: Oh yeah?

Lemstein: Yeah!

Lana: Okay, cool it, you two. We 'ad enough fightin' in the booth when your dad used to call the games, Optimus.

Lemstein: Yeah, Gil could kick some ass.

Optimus: Or get his ass kicked. Either way. I guess he gave as good as he got.

Mel: I remember one time when Mel Flanders tried to kill him on the air.

Lana: Heh heh. That was pretty funny.

Optimus: I don't remember that.

Lana: It was before you were born.

Mel: I was just a kid. I think I was about nine or ten. I was terrified.

Lana: Yeh... I can see where 'earin' grown men tryin' to kill each other on live radio might 'ave that effect on a young one.

Mel: I didn't think it was funny, that's for sure.

Lana: No, you prolly 'ad to 'ave the mature sensibilities of a grownup to see the 'umor in Mel gettin' carted off to the nut'ouse on live radio.

Optimus: Gil's told me all about Mel Flanders and how he tried to assassinate him a bunch of times. But he never told me about that one.

Lana: Innerestin'. So 'e's told you about all the times 'e imagined Mel tryin' to kill 'im, but not about the one time it actually 'appened, eh?

Optimus: He probably just forgot about that one.

Lemstein: It was Shemp who tried to kill Gil all those times.

Lana: No, prolly not. Most likely, no one ever tried to kill Gil.

Optimus: The one time he died, it was an accident.

Lana: 'e never died!

Optimus: No? You better check back over the transcripts of your own broadcasts, Lana. You've said he was dead many, many times.

Lana: That was wot they call a 'pleasant fiction.' We maintained it so as to keep 'im from gettin' in trouble with the authorities.

Optimus: Be that as it may, it's a well-documented fact that Gil was dead for many years.

Lana: I remember when you used to call 'im "Dad."

Optimus: That was before he revealed his true identity.

Lana: 'is true identity bein' Gil, 'oo wasn't dead.

Optimus: Gil Reincarnate.

Lemstein: You mean he died and came back?

Optimus: Yup.

Lemstein: Cool. I wish my dad died and came back.

Mel: What a horrible thing to say!

Lemstein: What?

Mel: Wishing your dad would die.

Lemstein: I wished he'd come back too!

Optimus: Well, Gil was dead for almost twenty years, you know, man.

Lemstein: You mean, my dad would have to stay dead for twnety years before he could come back?

Optimus: That's what I'm implying, yeah.

Lana: Gil never died an' came back. You can't do that.

Optimus: Alan Belmore did it.

Mel: Saint Alan Belmore, I think.

Optimus: Yep.

Lemstein: If you die and come back, you get to be a saint?

Optimus: Yup.

Lana: No.

Mel: Not necessarily.

Lemstein: Saint Gil? Is Gil gonna be a saint?

Lana: 'ell no. Nobody's gonna canonize Gil. That's stupid.

Optimus: No it's not.

Lana: Immensely stupid.

Mel: That is kind of stupid, actually.

Optimus: Oh yeah?

Lemstein: I think it sounds cool, man. Really cool.

Optimus: Good, 'cause we're already working on it.

Lana: The 'ell you say.

Optimus: Just wait and see.

Lana: You're never gonna get Gil sainted. That's insane.

Optimus: Yeah, well, some people say Gil's crazy. So it's appropriate.

Mel: Gil's crazy like a fox, is what he is.

Lana: 'e couldn't be Dean so 'e's gonna try and be a saint, is that it?

Optimus: More or less.

Lemstein: Gil had his Deanhood snatched away from him at an early age.

Optimus: He deserved better.

Lana: 'e deserved exac'ly wot 'e got. Especially if 'e's gonna go an' do something maniacal like try an' get 'imself sainted.

Mel: Don't go overboard. It's stupid, but it's hardly maniacal.

Lana: You never worked with 'im, Mel. You 'ave no idea.

Mel: I may not have worked with him, but I've met him. I think I can say he's not a maniac. Maybe a little misguided, if he wants to waste his time trying to get canonized. I mean, for one thing, don't you have to be Catholic to become a saint?

Optimus: He's Bejeezusian.

Mel: There are no saints in Bejeezusianity.

Optimus: He'll be the first.

Mel: I don't think there's even a mechanism in Bejeezusianity for canonization.

Optimus: It's a flexible religion. They can come up with something.

Lana: Oi. Leave it to the Bejeezusians to beatify Gil Lemson.

Optimus: Yeah, well, we may try and go for getting him sainted by the Catholics too.

Lana: You know, technically, you 'ave to be dead before they'll even consider saintin' you.

Lemstein: He was dead!

Optimus: We just got done talking about that, Lana.

Lana: 'e was never dead!

Optimus: Anyway, he's gonna get a dispensation.

Lana: A dispensation to allow 'im to be sainted while 'e's still living?

Optimus: What's the point of waiting 'til you're dead? As Gil's always saying, you can do a lot more good as a living saint than as a dead one.

Lana: Oh, Gil always says that, does 'e?

Lemstein: Oh, man! Just imagine that. A living saint... it's be like being a superhero. What powers do saints have?

Optimus: What powers don't they have?

Lemstein: They have super strength?

Optimus: Yup.

Lana: No!

Lemstein: Super vision?

Optimus: X-ray vision.

Mel: No, they don't.

Lemstein: Super speed?

Optimus: Hell, yes.

Lana: No!

Mel: No, no.

Lemstein: Can they fly?

Optimus: Can Bejeezus crap in the woods?

Lana: No, no, no!

Mel: Saints don't have any special powers, Lemstein.

Lana: Optimus is either off 'is rocker, or 'e's in ca'oots with 'is dad.

Mel: Most likely the latter.

Optimus: Who's to say what a saint can do? They're miracle workers.

Lana: Gil is not a miracle worker.

Optimus: He will be when he's a saint.

Mel: I think that you actually have to perform miracles before you get sainted. It's, like, a requirement.

Lana: That's right. It's part of the canonization tests.

Optimus: Well, if it comes to that, Gil has performed miracles.

Lemstein: He has?

Optimus: He came back from the dead, for one.

Lana: You need three miracles. An' even if Gil 'ad come back from the dead-- which 'e 'asn't-- that'd only be one.

Optimus: Then there was the miracle of the fish.

Lana: Wot 'miracle of the fish'?

Optimus: The Brazillican fish. The ones he made disappear.

Lana: Wot the 'ell are you talking about?

Optimus: The fish from the Brazillican Grand Hotel lobby. The ones he and Clem cleaned and gutted. They were supposed to be free to the hotel guests, but the bastards running the joint decided to go back on it and accuse Gil and Clem of stealing the fish.

Lana: That don't sound like a miracle to me.

Mel: Not any way you slice it.

Optimus: That wasn't the miracle. The miracle was when the police raided their hotel room, and didn't find any trace of the fish that were known to have been in the room just moments before.

Lemstein: So what happened to the fish?

Lana: Wait a minute. I remember that.

Optimus: Gil made 'em disappear. It was a miracle.

Lemstein: You remember that, Lana? So it really happened?

Lana: The fish disappeared because Clem sent the statistician around to their hotel room to collect them when he found out the police were going to search the room.

Optimus: Impossible! There was a game on!

Lemstein: It was a miracle! He couldn't have done it if he was busy doing stats during the game!

Lana: 'e wasn't doin' stats! Shemp Wooley remarked on it several times durin' the broadcast! I remember it now. I was just a wee girl at the time.

Optimus: At any rate, the fish disappeared from the hotel room and it was a miracle. The specific circumstances are unimportant.

Lana: The specific circumstances are critical! You can't claim a miracle when someone else went an' took the fish out of the room!

Optimus: Hey, Gil works in mysterious ways.

Lemstein: Yeah. Maybe the statistician going and getting the fish out of the room was the miracle Gil worked.

Lana: That ain't a miracle!!

Optimus: The hell you say.

Mel: Lana's right. It's not a miracle if someone else did the work.

Lemstein: Yeah, but if Gil used his miracle powers to enable[i/] someone else to spirit the fish away--

Lana: [i]Gil don't 'ave no miracle powers!

Optimus: That hasn't been proven.

Lemstein: You have to keep an open mind!

Lana: An' the fish weren't 'spirited away,' neither. They were cooked up an' Gil an' Clem ate 'em on the air durin' the 'alftime break!

Optimus: That doesn't nullify the miraculousness of the fishes' disappearance from the hotel room in the first place.

Lemstein: Yeah.

Lana: Why the 'ell are you on 'is side all of a sudden, Lemstein? A li'le while ago you were tellin' 'im to screw 'imself.

Lemstein: That was before I found out he was on the Gil Lemson Saintification Committee.

Optimus: Actually, it's called the Gil Lemson Beatification Control Authority. Or in Spanish, El Controlo Autoridad del Beatificacion del Gil.

Lana: That ain't even Spanish!!

Mel: Lana, chill out, girl. Stop yelling.

Optimus: Sure it's Spanish. And to use the Spanish acronym, the organization is known informally as "CABGil."

Lemstein: CABGil. Cool. I like the sound of that.

Lana: Don't patronize me.

Mel: Who's patronizing you?

Lana: You are. Callin' me 'girl.'

Mel: What?

Lana: I'm fifty-four years old! It's patronizing to be called 'girl' when you're over fifty.

Mel: Sorry. Bejeez! I was just using a little slang.

Lemstein: Don't go all ghetto on her, Mel.

Mel: What! So I'm African-Lemmitanian and sometimes it slips out. So sue me.

Optimus: Don't harass her for her ethnic heritage, man.

Lemstein: Yo, in case you haven't noticed, Optimus--

Optimus: Yeah, yeah, I can see. I'm making a joke.

Lemstein: Us people of color have to stick together.

Optimus: Fine, I'm not saying you shouldn't.

Lana: Can we get back to the matter at hand?

Mel: You mean the football game?

Lana: I mean the question of Gil Lemson's canonization!

Lemstein: Hey, you were the one who pulled us off-track.

Optimus: Yeah, back to that. So the miracle of the Brazillican fish was the second miracle. Though some people would say that Gil engineering their ascape from Brazillico was the third miracle, in actual point of fact, that was just a minor divine intervention.

Lemstein: Bejeezus guides those who are open to his guidance.

Optimus: Yeah, right. So the third miracle is the one commonly known as the 'Tears of Kathryn.'

Lana: Mebbe we should leave the rest of this argument for another time.

Lemstein: Why, what's wrong?

Lana: Stoppage in play. Looks like an injury. We'll find out wot's goin' on durin' this break for an important message.

Mel: Wait a minute! What's the score?

Optimus: Who the hell knows?

HAPERD WINS AGAIN

The Haperd Vulcans have come away with their second consecutive victory, over the Nation of Qia, 2-0. Haperd has now improved their record to 2 wins and 2 losses, moving them to 5th in the group, just 2 spots out of the qualification zone for the World Cup finals.

The Match was an uneventful affair with Haperd always looking a step above their opponents. Goals either side of the half from Kris Haperd Jr. proppelled the volcanic archipelago to their second win in as many games, and has put the people back home in Haperd into a party-like atmosphere after the dismal opening two games.

Haperd do not expect any lineup changes for their next match.

LALLANIA PLEASED WITH POOR START

Lallanian coach Filip Gorotia held a news conference in Tinov, Lallania at which he declared his pleasure at his team's 1-2-1 start to the qualifying round.

"We almost already have more points than we did in the entire 18 matches last time. Sure, we're losing to rookie teams, but we also beat one of them."

Gorotia also expressed concern that most of the coaches in Group 6 have apparently contracted laryngitis, and he has been seen wearing a paper filter mask at matches.

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/ao/vn15.gif


Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) 1 - 3 Lemmitania
( Stott 21 ) - ( Ghoti 38, 52; Wapt 57)

The Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) Jungle Cats saw their hopes of climbing back up the Group 8 table blown apart by a 3-1 defeat at the hands of Lemmitania - Lumpy "Lungfish" Ghoti netting twice as the home side came from behind to win comfortably. It was tough on Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) boss, Helmut Vilkaus who saw Jonathon Stott open the scoring before losing both first choice strikers Callum Banda and Germán Salomón in the first half, forced to throw 19 year old Serge DuPont into the fray among several teenagers involved.

Lemmitania man Ghoti capitalised on static defending to level the scores midway through the first half, and the impressive midfielder was on target again following the break as the visitors quickly took advantage of an error by goalscorer Stott. Within five minutes it was three, with the Jungle Cat defenders slow to react once again as Lempoona Wapt stole in to head home and put the high flying Lemmitanians in a commanding position to the delight of their large support.

Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) pushed forward in the hope of getting back into the match, but rarely looked like significantly troubling their opposition with a series of aimless and wasteful attacks, substitute Marasent Sioane particularly guilty of squandering his side's best opportunities.


-------------------------------------



Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita)n Youngsters pressured on World Stage


A series of injuries coupled with the selective bench of coach Helmut Vilkaus saw a youthful Jungle Cat side walking off the pitch following their defeat in Lemmitania. Following the first-half withdrawel of attacking duo Callum Banda and Germán Salomón, the Experienced lineup began taking the form of that seen in the recent youth championships.

19 year old duo Serge DuPont and Marasent Sioane were thrust into the lineupt, Sioane making his first senior appearance, DuPont just his third. The inexperience of the duo was evident throughout the match, their skillfull touches and bursts of energy overshadowed by their lack of confidence on the ball, misplaced passes and wild, sweeping shots. 20 year old Danilo Liguori who has earned a regular place on the squad, was also responsible for two of the home sides three goals. He was easily beaten by Ghoti for the first goal, the ball easily notched between his legs sending Lungfish clear onto goal. A mistimed backpass by Liguori gifted the Lemmitanians goal #3, all but sealing the 3 points for the home side.

19 year old Esemar Aliana was on the bench for the Jungle Cats, receving his first call up to the senior national side, after Matteo Ollirg could not shake off a hamstring injury. Aliana, and 20 year old midfielder Umberto Mello, both did not get off the bench in the Lemmistania match, but the overwhelming lack of experience within the Jungle Cat side must be beginning to worry supporters as they sit in the bottom half of their Qualifying group with tough matches against Svecia and Dance2Revolution in the coming days.


-------------------------------------



Marine Launch Bid For impressive Stott

Defending league champions Marine Coast United have hit out at Yeaddin Owls AFC after seeing their £500,000 offer for Owls flying winger Jonathon Stott dismissed by the club - who are determined to hang onto their freescoring flank man unless presented with a deal worth almost TWICE as much.

But news of Marine's first concrete offer for the Owls 26 goal top scorer and Player of the Season could spark increased bidding for the Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita)n - after Yeaddin revealed that three other clubs have also been in contact about the highly rated star.

Marine Coast United however are incensed that their substantial offer of half a million pounds for 24 year old Stott has been rejected out of hand by the club, and warned Yeaddin officials that they 'will face problems' in not discussing a potential deal - with the player out of contract in 12 months. But the Yeaddin Owls Chairman has brushed off the historical club's threat, declaring their valuation of the Jungle Cat international as 'on the low side' and insisting that he and his board are not 'in the business of accepting' such unsuitable offers.

Marine Coast United - supported by the funds from their recent sale of National team captain Santo Kecker - followed up recent interest by launching their £500,000 transfer bid for Stott this week, and now look set to spark a war of words after crticising Yeaddin's decision to dismiss the lucrative deal. "We have approached Yeaddin Owls AFC about Jonathon Stott but at this moment in time they continue to value him too highly - if they want to play stick or twist with a player in the last year of his contract they're going to have problems," warned the Marine Coast chairman and added "Which club will be willing to pay £1m or so for a player when they can wait until mid season to get him on a free?"

Nonetheless after smashing 26 goals from the right wing last season, Yeaddin are believed to have set their valuation of Stott at around £1 million, and wasted little time today in turning down Marine Coast United's opening offer of £500,000. "It's a case of having to weigh up Jonathon's value now, compared to what he would be worth to the club throughout the forthcoming league campaign," added the Yeaddin supremo, confident that Stott - who has pledged his loyalty to the club in the past - will remain at Yeaddin for the time being.

Indeed the Owls were dismissive of Marine Coast United's determined £500,000 offer, and explained "We certainly aren't in the business of accepting low bids for our best players and we have made that clear by rejecting Marine Coast United's insufficient bid." But the champions, whilst adamant they will not match Yeaddin's £1 million valuation, are expected to renew their interest in the winger with a fresh bid, and their Chief Executive admitted "We will be making contact with them again to discuss the player and to see if an agreement can be made."

National team coach Helmut Vilkaus has added his support for Stott's recent form. "Jonathon has been very impressive for the senior team as of late, and I can certainly see why Yeaddin would be so hesitant to let him go, especially at just 24, with his best years still to come, I'm sure they would want to get every penny they could for him if it came to the point that he did move on." When asked if he felt the transfer speculation would hinder Stotts performances in the World Cup Qualifiers, Vilkaus admitted he was not certain of what was to come. "Jonny is a professional and I don't see it having too much of an effect on him. But then again, we are all human, and certainly he will always have the talk in the back of his mind. I just hope when he steps out on the field tomorrow to face Svecia, that he has kept the speculation in the back, and his footballing ability in the front."



[code:1:62933cc193]
Group 8

Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Wella 4 3 1 0 8 4 4 10 52
2 Dance 2 Revolution 4 2 2 0 6 1 5 8 50
3 Svecia 4 2 2 0 6 2 4 8 50
4 Avenging Altos 4 2 1 1 11 8 3 7 49
5 Lemmitania 4 2 1 1 7 4 3 7 49
6 Vilita 4 1 1 2 5 7 -2 4 46
7 The East Asian Empire 4 1 1 2 4 10 -6 4 46
8 Bakinhale 4 1 0 3 4 8 -4 3 45
9 Grays Harbor 4 0 2 2 4 8 -4 2 44
10 Starblaydia 4 0 1 3 4 7 -3 1 43
[/code:1:62933cc193]


http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/sched.gif
M01:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [2] - [1] Starblaydia - [Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3288802#3288802)] -
M02:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [1] Grays Harbor <- - [Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3288802#3288802)] -
M03:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [2] ???????? - [Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3288802#3288802)] -
M04:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [3] Lemmitania <-
M05:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Svecia
M06:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Dance 2 Revolution <-
M07:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Bakinhale
M08:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Wella
M09:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Avenging Altos <-
M10:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Starblaydia <-
M11:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Grays Harbor
M12:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] ???????? <-
M13:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Lemmitania
M14:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Svecia <-
M15:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Dance 2 Revolution
M16:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Bakinhale <-
M17:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Wella <-
M18:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Avenging Altos

Nothing to see here anymore... (too much editing)

The Midway Journal
August 19, 2044 - þ1.75

Front Page

National Stadium Deemed Unusable After Riots
324 dead, over 8,000 injured after inept refereeing in Aquilla match

NORTHEAST MIDWAY (BAP) -- The people of Bedistan are known to be very serious about their football. The few times when inexplicable upsets have occurred causing their beloved national team, the Lions, to lose, riots have often broken out. Many will remember the destruction caused in Columbia after a loss to a rookie team from New Montreal States twenty years ago.

That, however, was nothing compared to the carnage at James Parker National Stadium yesterday. Bedistan faced off against perennial rivals Aquilla at home, and were expected to win the match easily. They, however, had not counted on the match having the worst referee in the history of the game -- yes, worse than the one at that Melmond-Brazillico match in the Cup of Harmony six years ago. And besides that, the Lions were missing no fewer than seven of their starting players due to food poisoning, so they were severely handicapped to begin with.

The tension started when the ref, half-Kingsforder, half-Abysmali, declared Lions striker Tyrone Touchstone offside while scoring a goal when he quite obviously was not. The fans simply chalked it up to an extremely poor call, though. However, an Aquillan dive in the box later in the first half that should have resulted in a free kick for the home team instead being awarded as a penalty for Aquilla was a tough pill to swallow, and the fans became very restless, especially after the resultant penalty went in.

The last straw was when another Touchstone goal a third of the way through the second half was awarded to Aquilla on the grounds that the referee had failed to have the teams switch sides during the halftime break. The stands emptied and all hell broke loose on the pitch. Several people even set fire to the stadium. By the time it was all said and done, more than three hundred people, including the offending referee, were dead, and thousands more, both Bedistani and Aquillan, were injured. Luckily, none of the 39 players (would've been 46 were it not for the food poisoning) were hurt. Unfortunately, about 70% of James Parker National Stadium is now a smoking ruin.

No charges have been filed by Midway police simply because it was absolutely impossible to tell what happened. However, BFA president Javier McGuire is reportedly suing the World Cup Committee for approximately þ13 million (US$23.12M) in damages in order to repair the largest stadium in the nation. It is also rumored that the Legislature will pass a bill banning the entry into Bedistan of anyone from Abysmalistan in order to prevent something like this from happening again.

All remaining Bedistani home matches for World Cup XV qualifying will be played at Holmes Stadium in Columbia, the site of the World Cup VIII championship match.

Most of the Bedistani players have apparently recovered from their food poisoning and will be ready to play in the Lions' next match, an away fixture with Grand master Mark. The only problem with that is, there is no such nation called "Grand master Mark", making it absolutely impossible to play an away match in their country. "I have no idea what the hell we're going to do," said manager Jeff Whitehurst. "We'll figure out something, though." Team coach Chuck Mitchell could not be reached for comment, and when asked about his whereabouts, the BFA muttered something about Pedriana, a Giant Evil Spider-infested nation in the region of FIFA somewhere near Halfassedstates.

Creedence Clearwater Revival
New-look 'slaves bag win

[code:1:ec4bfa4a77] 12
Jones

16 6 2 3
Romanov Rep Pearce Carsley

4
8 Croft 18
Jensen O`Hara
19
Bracken
20 17
Rossler O`Malley[/code:1:ec4bfa4a77]

Three players playing out of position, a thirty-six year old has-been up front, and no Jeff Jordan. Some people were questioning care-taker manager Paul Ward's decisions in the run up to the match against Creedence Clearwater, but the 'slaves performed acceptably, proving you never know when a crazy idea might work.

Audioslavia's midfield held stronger than they had in previous games, with O`Hara and Croft working well together to keep the defensive part of the midfield in tact. Bracken, the 22-year old Cornellby forward was a revelation playing in the attacking midfield, and grabbed his first goal for Audioslavia in his first game as he latched onto an O`Malley pass to flick the ball past CC's goalkeeper.

O`Malley himself still looks a shadow of his former self, but he still shows flashes of brilliance, like his turn past the CC left back and his raking shot which narrowly missed the goal. He tired towards the end of the game, as did O`Hara, and both were substituted.

Creedence Clearwater didn't look quite as impressive as they usually are, and ran out of steam at the end of the match despite having some good chances early on.

FINAL SCORE
Audioslavia 1 (Bracken 38)
Creedence Clearwater 0

[code:1:ec4bfa4a77]Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Raptor Claw 4 4 0 0 12 2 10 12
2 Jeruselem 4 3 0 1 12 5 7 9
3 Commerce Heights 4 3 0 1 6 1 5 9
4 Ineptia 4 3 0 1 7 7 0 9
5 Creedence Clearwater 4 2 1 1 8 5 3 7
6 Isles of Wohlstand 4 2 0 2 6 5 1 6
7 Audioslavia 4 2 0 2 2 2 0 6
8 Kipto-Mare 4 0 1 3 3 10 -7 1
9 Sportonia 4 0 0 4 4 12 -8 0
10Boscioto 4 0 0 4 4 15 -11 0 [/code:1:ec4bfa4a77]

The 'slaves now have to play catch-up, much like they had to do in WC9 qualifying. Luckily, second place is only three points away due to Commerce Heights and Jerusalem's unlucky defeats. Raptor Claw have been exceptional, conceding only two goals and scoring twelve in a four-game unbeaten run. Jerusalem and CH remain on their heels in second and third, with little-known Ineptia in fourth but with the same amount of points. Creedence Clearwater and Wohlstand are in fifth and sixth, ahead of Audioslavia who are in the midst of their traditional 'shit start'. Already however, the bottom three seem to have built their roof between positions seven and eight, already five/six points adrift of the pack.

I've been Jeremy Jaffacake, g'nite bitches.

FLIMJAM YAFFLEFLAPS SHMUCK!

You Are Now Reading a transcript of World Championship Soccer News brought to you by the good people at LNSNN…Here with the WCXV Updates are our Anchors… LOPAKAKIKA http://www.msnbc.com/onair/Bios/Global/costas_b.jpg and KANIELAPAKELIKA http://espnradio.espn.go.com/i/columnists/patrick_dan_c.jpg…We begin today’s broadcast as always with our national anthem… http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/lovebug.jpg

One man come in the name of love
One man come and go
One man come, he to justify
One man to overthrow

In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love

One man caught on a barbed wire fence
One man he resist
One man washed on an empty beach.
One man betrayed with a kiss

In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love

(nobody like you...)

Early morning, April 4
Shot rings out in the Memphis sky
Free at last, they took your life
They could not take your pride

In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love...

KANIELAPAKELIKA - Thank You, for that wonderful song written in 1804 for the first Queen of Lovebug – Queen Lily and her Husband King Aard, by the great and wonderful composer BONO. Hello Lovebugians and all competing nations we are here today with a much belated update, all news coverage has been dedicated to the passing of a leader and friend of Queen ShyButterfly, current ruler of Lovebug, no name need be mentioned for I am sure you all know of whom I speak. But we we’re given a few minutes today to update you on the World Cup Situation. The Bulldogs are 4 games in and are performing quite well, with only one loss on the books so far.

LOPAKAKIKA – It is good to be back on the air, we’ve followed the Bulldogs on two away trips to the lands of Slaikau, http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/slaikau.jpg, a democratic socialistic nation, found The EU region of nationstates, with 237 million citizens all new to the World Cup experience. And our most recent trip to the home of World Cup veterans Oglethorpia http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/oglethorpia.jpg, a Capitalizt nation, found in The Emerald Heights region of nationstates, a large country of 2.445 Billion citizens. We have also been there at home as we faced Krytenia, http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/krytenia.jpg, a fellow ICD nation, from the Atlantian Oceania region, a country also of 237 million citizens, and finally another newcomer in Artoonia, http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/artoonia.jpg, a Civil Rights Lovefest nation found in The Satellite of Love Region, a land of 337 million citizens.

KANIELAPAKELIKA – On Match Day 1 we would be on our home field http://www.worldstadiums.com/stadium_pictures/asia/japan/saitama2.jpg, a newly built stadium for the Bulldogs we would face Krytenia and win 2-1, scoring Bulldogs were returning Forward Panda “The Bear” Bamboor http://www.football-rumours.com/images/takahara5.jpg (coming back after injuries resulting from an elephant falling from the sky during WC 14), would be the first to score this season, followed shortly by a goal made by Left Fullback Ellis “Phantom” McTeal http://www.football-rumours.com/images/morientes4.jpg.

LOPAKAKIKA – On Match Day 2 we would travel to Slaiku and would leave that country with another win this time in a 3-1 victory. The scoring bulldogs on this day would be lead scorer and Left Fullback Dingo Mei would score twice once in the first half and once in the second http://www.football-rumours.com/images/brendonsantalab.jpg. Left Wing Eagle "Golden Foot" Grant http://www.football-rumours.com/images/hoekstra3.jpg would score the final goal of the game.

KANIELAPAKELIKA – We would return home to face Artoonia in Game 3 and would add yet another victory to our record (2-0). This game would be all Panda (see picture from game 1) scoring twice during the match-up and helping the Bulldogs keep the first shut out of the season.

LOPAKAKIKA – Finally in our most recent game the Bulldogs traveled to Oglethorpia yesterday and would leave with the first loss of the season, we would not leave empty handed however as we would score once against Goal Keeper Henry Lewis-Charleston White. During the final half of the match-up Right Winger Analu Purrle would score his first goal in WC Play - http://www.football-rumours.com/images/andrewobrien.jpg.

KANIELAPAKELIKA – The Bulldog’s 38th overall in WC standings are now 3-0-1 for this tournament 23-6-21 in history, for this tournament we have GF 8 GA 3 GD 5, in history we stand GF = 66, GA = 65, GD = +1. Well that’s all the time we have so we will be back tomorrow with another broadcast.

Match Day 1: 4 v 7 Home – Krytenia – WIN (2-1)
Match Day 2: 8 v 4 Away – Slaikau – WIN (3-1)
Match Day 3: 4 v 9 Home – Artoonia – WIN (2-0)
Match Day 4: 1 v 4 Away – Oglethorpia – LOSS (3-1)
Match Day 5: 4 v 2 Home - Gesamtkuntswerk
Match Day 6: 3 v 4 Away - Dennisov
Match Day 7: 4 v 10 Home - Rampagonia
Match Day 8: 4 v 5 Home - Tadjikistan
Match Day 9: 6 v 4 Away - Larkinia
Match Day 10: 7 v 4 Away - Krytenia
Match Day 11: 4 v 8 Home - Slaikau
Match Day 12: 9 v 4 Away - Artoonia
Match Day 13: 4 v 1 Home - Oglethorpia
Match Day 14: 2 v 4 Away - Gesamtkuntswerk
Match Day 15: 4 v 3 Home - Dennisov
Match Day 16: 10 v 4 Away - Rampagonia
Match Day 17: 5 v 4 Away - Tadjikistan
Match Day 18: 4 v 6 Home - Larkinia

You Are Now Reading a transcript of World Championship Soccer News brought to you by the good people at LNSNN…Here with the WCXV Updates are our Anchors… LOPAKAKIKA http://www.msnbc.com/onair/Bios/Global/costas_b.jpg and KANIELAPAKELIKA http://espnradio.espn.go.com/i/columnists/patrick_dan_c.jpg…We begin today’s broadcast as always with our national anthem… http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/lovebug.jpg

One man come in the name of love
One man come and go
One man come, he to justify
One man to overthrow

In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love

One man caught on a barbed wire fence
One man he resist
One man washed on an empty beach.
One man betrayed with a kiss

In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love

(nobody like you...)

Early morning, April 4
Shot rings out in the Memphis sky
Free at last, they took your life
They could not take your pride

In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love...

KANIELAPAKELIKA - Thank You, for that wonderful song written in 1804 for the first Queen of Lovebug – Queen Lily and her Husband King Aard, by the great and wonderful composer BONO. Hello Lovebugians and all competing nations we are here today with a much belated update, all news coverage has been dedicated to the passing of a leader and friend of Queen ShyButterfly, current ruler of Lovebug, no name need be mentioned for I am sure you all know of whom I speak. But we we’re given a few minutes today to update you on the World Cup Situation. The Bulldogs are 4 games in and are performing quite well, with only one loss on the books so far.

LOPAKAKIKA – It is good to be back on the air, we’ve followed the Bulldogs on two away trips to the lands of Slaikau, http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/slaikau.jpg, a democratic socialistic nation, found The EU region of nationstates, with 237 million citizens all new to the World Cup experience. And our most recent trip to the home of World Cup veterans Oglethorpia http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/oglethorpia.jpg, a Capitalizt nation, found in The Emerald Heights region of nationstates, a large country of 2.445 Billion citizens. We have also been there at home as we faced Krytenia, http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/krytenia.jpg, a fellow ICD nation, from the Atlantian Oceania region, a country also of 237 million citizens, and finally another newcomer in Artoonia, http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/artoonia.jpg, a Civil Rights Lovefest nation found in The Satellite of Love Region, a land of 337 million citizens.

KANIELAPAKELIKA – On Match Day 1 we would be on our home field http://www.worldstadiums.com/stadium_pictures/asia/japan/saitama2.jpg, a newly built stadium for the Bulldogs we would face Krytenia and win 2-1, scoring Bulldogs were returning Forward Panda “The Bear” Bamboor http://www.football-rumours.com/images/takahara5.jpg (coming back after injuries resulting from an elephant falling from the sky during WC 14), would be the first to score this season, followed shortly by a goal made by Left Fullback Ellis “Phantom” McTeal http://www.football-rumours.com/images/morientes4.jpg.

LOPAKAKIKA – On Match Day 2 we would travel to Slaiku and would leave that country with another win this time in a 3-1 victory. The scoring bulldogs on this day would be lead scorer and Left Fullback Dingo Mei would score twice once in the first half and once in the second http://www.football-rumours.com/images/brendonsantalab.jpg. Left Wing Eagle "Golden Foot" Grant http://www.football-rumours.com/images/hoekstra3.jpg would score the final goal of the game.

KANIELAPAKELIKA – We would return home to face Artoonia in Game 3 and would add yet another victory to our record (2-0). This game would be all Panda (see picture from game 1) scoring twice during the match-up and helping the Bulldogs keep the first shut out of the season.

LOPAKAKIKA – Finally in our most recent game the Bulldogs traveled to Oglethorpia yesterday and would leave with the first loss of the season, we would not leave empty handed however as we would score once against Goal Keeper Henry Lewis-Charleston White. During the final half of the match-up Right Winger Analu Purrle would score his first goal in WC Play - http://www.football-rumours.com/images/andrewobrien.jpg.

KANIELAPAKELIKA – The Bulldog’s 38th overall in WC standings are now 3-0-1 for this tournament 23-6-21 in history, for this tournament we have GF 8 GA 3 GD 5, in history we stand GF = 66, GA = 65, GD = +1. Well that’s all the time we have so we will be back tomorrow with another broadcast.

Match Day 1: 4 v 7 Home – Krytenia – WIN (2-1)
Match Day 2: 8 v 4 Away – Slaikau – WIN (3-1)
Match Day 3: 4 v 9 Home – Artoonia – WIN (2-0)
Match Day 4: 1 v 4 Away – Oglethorpia – LOSS (3-1)
Match Day 5: 4 v 2 Home - Gesamtkuntswerk
Match Day 6: 3 v 4 Away - Dennisov
Match Day 7: 4 v 10 Home - Rampagonia
Match Day 8: 4 v 5 Home - Tadjikistan
Match Day 9: 6 v 4 Away - Larkinia
Match Day 10: 7 v 4 Away - Krytenia
Match Day 11: 4 v 8 Home - Slaikau
Match Day 12: 9 v 4 Away - Artoonia
Match Day 13: 4 v 1 Home - Oglethorpia
Match Day 14: 2 v 4 Away - Gesamtkuntswerk
Match Day 15: 4 v 3 Home - Dennisov
Match Day 16: 10 v 4 Away - Rampagonia
Match Day 17: 5 v 4 Away - Tadjikistan
Match Day 18: 4 v 6 Home - Larkinia

Removed the offensive stuff, this is not the place for personal attacks.

On That note, Matchday 4 brought another goal Rampagonia. Yet as you may have noticed, we still suck. But hey, at least we got a point, you see, as that one goal was equal to the goal scored by Krytenia. The potential is there.

Post made redundant by moderator intervention. Thank you, Melkor. And thank you, Rampagonia. I hope that we can put this behind us now.

annoying non-rp



It is time for you to desist, Rampagonia. This is completely unacceptable.

I'm sorry, you are right it is unacceptable

OOC: Your RP is fine Krytenia except for...
... Oglethorpian referee ...

Uh Oh, an Oglethorpian referee, wouldnt he favor your opponents into a draw, with his own national team in the group? I believe an Eauzian, Brazillican or Melmondian referee to be better(more neutral) for the job.

A) The bureaucracy joke was too good to miss.

B) Note: We drew. Trust me, no coincidence....

annoying non-rp

I can only hope when we play your team you at least give us the respect of an RP consisting of information and ORDER instead of random images thrown around all over the place in the middle of sentances, with no care taken to the size or porportion of the images. Your RP's look like the puke that comes out of my mouth after I read them, to be honest, but hey at least you are making the effort to post something, unlike me. Too bad your big, long, annoying post consists of about 5 words other than your opponent, their population, and what region they are in, which I assure you I could have gone and looked it up myself if I had cared that much about it. Heres to hoping you'll get to RP a loss against me, and that you actually RP it, instead of whatever that is that I just regretably perused through.


On That note, Matchday 4 brought another goal Rampagonia. Yet as you may have noticed, we still suck. But hey, at least we got a point, you see, as that one goal was equal to the goal scored by Krytenia. The potential is there.

Rampagonia, that was completely uncalled for. If you do not like someone's post, keep it to yourself. If it's too much to ask that you be able to skip it and move on, you should find a new way to spend your time. Any further flaming or general OC nastiness from you will earn your account a forum ban.

In short, if you don't have anything productive to say on the matter, keep those fingers off the keyboard. If you want to play nasty with the other players, you'll have to deal with me too, and I think you'll not like the consequences.

First, I want to thank everyone for standing up for me, in my absence. You can imagine my suprise in checking my account, and seeing his telegram, oh yes he sent me a telegram of what he wrote before he deleted it, don't worry I replied to him, in the proper way - some people just have no manners. We will see Rampagonia on MatchDay 7, lets just say he made enemy, and I use the term lightly because this is a game, and I have no idea who he or she is in real life so I can't trully make a judgement, but he will see on the field who he's messing with. Yes my post was long - it was 4 days of RP, it could have been a lot longer, if my style trully does bother the hosts or any members of the WC please do let me know because my intention was never to offend anyone but only to have fun, to do something different, and as they say "A picture is worth a thousand words".

Queen ShyButterfly - leader an RP writer for Lovebug

OOC: Your RP is fine Krytenia except for...
... Oglethorpian referee ...

Uh Oh, an Oglethorpian referee, wouldnt he favor your opponents into a draw, with his own national team in the group? I believe an Eauzian, Brazillican or Melmondian referee to be better(more neutral) for the job.

A) The bureaucracy joke was too good to miss.

B) Note: We drew. Trust me, no coincidence....

Tadjikistan is completely offbase here.

His [the referee's] hope is to get Krytenia to defeat undefeated Tadjikistan -- and then with any luck, Oglethorpia would subsequently crush Krytenia after using them to neutralize Tadjikistan in the standings.

Of course, that said -- the greatest irony will occur and Oglethorpia will completely blow the 14 remaining matchdays and get beat horribly by the aforementioned two national squads.

Woe is Oglethorpia.

First, I want to thank everyone for standing up for me, in my absence. You can imagine my suprise in checking my account, and seeing his telegram, oh yes he sent me a telegram of what he wrote before he deleted it, don't worry I replied to him, in the proper way - some people just have no manners. We will see Rampagonia on MatchDay 7, lets just say he made enemy, and I use the term lightly because this is a game, and I have no idea who he or she is in real life so I can't trully make a judgement, but he will see on the field who he's messing with. Yes my post was long - it was 4 days of RP, it could have been a lot longer, if my style trully does bother the hosts or any members of the WC please do let me know because my intention was never to offend anyone but only to have fun, to do something different, and as they say "A picture is worth a thousand words".

Queen ShyButterfly - leader an RP writer for Lovebug

The only thing that lovebugs me is the fact that a lot of the players are very well known, and they are all wearing different coloured shirts :P :)

at least the pictures arent usually too big :)

The Bureaucratic Tribune
The Bureaucratic States' most readily available publication.

National side secures a win -- finally!
Oglethorpia ends a two game losing "streak" with a 3-1 defeat of Lovebug -- but are still far out of competition

By Bill Christmas

OGLETHORPIA (BT) -- After a loss at home to Gesamtkuntswerk and Dennisov as vistors, Oglethorpia has finally set things straight against Lovebug, with a 3-1 victory at home in Amagalmated Stadium. Still, Oglethorpia has to claw their way back into competition -- sitting 5th in group 2 with a 2-0-2 and 6 points away from shocker and group leader Tadjikistan, 4-0-0 going into matchday 5. With van Mistletoe, Hjortur Green and Henry Lewis-Charleston White back in the roster, it seems Oglethorpia is ready to pull things together in the remainder of the World Cup 15 qualifying run. van Mistletoe seemed to lead the way to Oglethorpia's return to form scoring 2 of Oglethorpia's 3 goals in the first half of the match versus a visiting Lovebug.

A confused Oglethorpian defense and midfield floundered around the opening 10 minutes of the match before their home crowd -- much in the same fashion against Dennisov and Gesamtkuntswerk. Soon, however the national squad would pull it together and Hjortur Green deep in Lovebug's territory would be able to cross up to Ruben van Mistletoe just outside the goalie's box. van Mistletoe let loose after tripping up his opposing defenders who expected him to get in close -- an arcing shot into the back of the net, giving Oglethorpia the lead in the 13th minute.

Lovebug wasn't about to sit back and let Oglethorpia take charge -- just 15 minutes later Henry Lewis-Charleston White in goal for Oglethorpia would give up the equalizer. In the 28th minute the match was all square.

van Mistletoe wasn't about to let the match slip out of Oglethorpia's hands -- and in the waning 8 minutes of the first half, van Mistletoe would single-handedly earn back the lead for his home country. Jesus Eclair would start things off when he won the ball in a tackle vs. the Lovebug defense -- van Mistletoe placed perfectly had enough speed to beat his opposing defenders and ground it around the goalie to put Oglethorpia up 2-1 going into the second half.

Lovebug made several chances for themselves in the second half -- but Lewis-Charleston White held up and a break in Lovebug's defense let Oglethorpia put one more in for secuirty.

Fulltime would sound with Oglethorpia winning 3-1 -- van Mistletoe was quick to tell the home crowd in Amalgamated Stadium that Oglethorpia was back.

"Oglethorpia's back," said van Mistletoe, exuasted but still shouting to the crowd with great intensity. "Back in black."

Reporters from the Bureuacratic Tribune stated that they would be the first to release news of a lawsuit from the heavy metal band Alternating Current-slash-Direct Current were one to be filed against Ruben van Mistletoe, on a related note.

On a more related note, manager Pancrazio Albert-Albertson Black stated he's going to proceed with caution. "We're back playing the way we want to -- but this is no time to get cocky when we still have a long ways to go before we're in competition for the lead of group 2. We'll play with tact and never overestimate our opponents -- which might've been the cause for defeats at the hands of Gesamtkuntswerk and Dennisov."

"We're just gunna do what we have to do," commented goalkeeper Henry Lewis-Charleston White. "Pancrazio's right -- we're going to play with more strategy and stick it to Gesamtkuntswerk and Denniwhatever when the time comes."

Turnia City Tribune

World Cup XV Qualifing Report
Max Riodondo

Matchday 4 Coruna 1 Turnia 2

The Dragons won their third straight, just easing past Coruna 2-1. Coruna has played well thus far in the qualifing and did not let up a moment in matchday 4. "They are a tricky team to play. They certainly had us twisting this way and that during the game. To be perfectly honest, I am estatic to get out of here with a win" said Head Coach Odle in the post-game press conference.

It did appear the Dragons had a tough go of it. The Coruna mid-fielders played a heck of a good game, keeping the flow of the game as that of a ping-pong match. "Whoa, that was a close one wasn't it? I cannot tell you how relieved I was when our second goal went on the board. There was a definate pucker factor out there" stated team captain J.S. Turner.

The "cardiac kids" have done it again. At this rate, I may have to start on my toenails.

His [the referee's] hope is to get Krytenia to defeat undefeated Tadjikistan -- and then with any luck, Oglethorpia would subsequently crush Krytenia after using them to neutralize Tadjikistan in the standings.

Of course, that said -- the greatest irony will occur and Oglethorpia will completely blow the 14 remaining matchdays and get beat horribly by the aforementioned two national squads.

Woe is Oglethorpia.

If we beat you, the hangover i write about here will NOT be an RP. :lol: :shock: :lol:

THE JAFFA JEREMYCAKE SHOW!

ANNOUNCER: [in a super dramatic voice] Live, recorded from an earlier broadcast that was even more live, from Megalopolis City -- your host -- JAFFA JEREMYCAKE!

JAFFA JEREMYCAKE: Thanks, Stan.

STAN/ANNOUNCER: [in a still super dramatic voice] Any time, Jeremy-Jaffa- uh, host-dude.

JAFFA: Alright. Anyways, thanks for bein' on the show, everyone.

[The camera pans to the seating facing the Jaffa Jeremycake set -- only a couple of people are actually watching the live taping of the show, and yet an inexplicably loud clapping noise can be heard]

JAFFA: Thanks guys, thanks -- but settle down, we've got a great show for you tonight. We've got World Cup player Henry Lewis-Charleston White on tonight!

[More clapping is heard -- though this time the camera man refrains from filming the mostly small audience]

JAFFA: And thanks for all turning out for our first show -- it takes a lot to get a show started, and i'm glad you were all here to see our first. Here's to hopin' we'll be celebrating our start some 20 years from now. Now, let's kick off the first Jaffa Jeremycake Show with Oglethorpian World Cup goalkeeper HENRY LEWIS-CHARLESTON WHITE!

[Henry Lewis-Charleston White walks out onto the stage from behind an obviously fake picture of downtown Megalopolis City.

JAFFA: Thanks Henry for being on the show. Take a seat.

[Henry Lewis-Charleston White sits down on a lawn chair positioned next to an old school teacher's desk -- serving duty as Jaffa Jeremycake's desk. On it rests a broken coffee mug which obviously bears evidence that it has been glued back together.]

HENRY LEWIS-CHARLESTON WHITE: Jaffa, i've got to say this is a fantastic set.

JAFFA: Thanks, Henry.

HENRY: No, I was being facetious. But with somework maybe it'll be only somewhat shitty instead of totally and completely shitty.

[Jaffa leans back in his chair and peels some paint off of the wall.]

JAFFA: Henry, would you like some wall candy?

HENRY: You mean paint chips?

JAFFA: Nah man, wall candy.

HENRY: Uh, no thanks, man. Pig out.

[Jaffa does so and consumes the large paint chip or "wall candy.]

JAFFA: Alright Henry, so tell us -- how are things going out on the field for you guys?

HENRY: Christ man, don't you watch TV?

JAFFA: Hey man, just read the freakin' teleprompter, alright?

HENRY: What 'teleprompter?' I see some guy screaming at me to say this or that, but I don't even see words on a big poster.

JAFFA: Hey, don't be difficult, okay?

HENRY: Whoa, okay, okay. Well, I missed matchdays 2 and 3 -- after a grilling accident with van Mistletoe -- but after matchday 4, I think I can say i've recovered to play pretty well. Especially against Lovebug.

JAFFA: Henry, do you think you could tell the people how you go about goalkeeping like you do?

HENRY: Well, y'know -- I just like to say that I do what I do. What I have to do. That's what I do. I do what I have to do.

JAFFA: Yeah...that's great and all, but what the hell is that supposed to mean?

HENRY: What'd you say?

JAFFA: What the hell's that supposed to mean, Charlyson?

HENRY: Did you just call me 'Charlyson?'

JAFFA: That's the idea.

[Henry is clearly angry, and leaps out of his lawn chair, knocking it over and attacking Jeremycake as he slides across the delapidated teacher's desk. Henry is clearly delevering brutal blows to Jaffa Jeremycake's face. Soon, show workers drag Henry Lewis-Charleston White off of a battered Jaffa Jeremycake and lead him out.]

HENRY: No one calls me Charlyson and escapes without a black eye!!! No one!!!

[Henry is finally led out of the set.]

JAFFA: Well, that was certainly interesting. Alright, clearly I have two black eyes and a really fat cheek -- so we're going to go to commercial break while I get a shitload of makeup applied to my not-fat cheek to make them match.

[The commercials roll -- mostly stuff about food and some stupid Opis Earl ads and other items pitched towards rednecks.]

JAFFA: Hey folks, we're back on the Jaffa Jeremycake Show and i'm Jaffa Jeremycake, and I look a helluva lot better with 5 lbs of makeup on my face. Okay, next guest is set director and fung shui master Cletus Lavalais. Cletus, welcome.

CLETUS LAVALAIS: Good to be here, Jaffa. Good to be here.

JAFFA: Have a seat.

CLETUS: So Jaffa, the set looks amazing.

JAFFA: It does, Cletus, it does. You did a bang up job. It's really got a good vibe -- y'know, like, as if you co-ordinated the furniture.

CLETUS: That's kind of the idea of fung shui. But yeah, thanks man. I guess I have a natural talent for interior decoration -- after all, it's a mandatory class in the Kingsforder education program. No child left behind -- no child left behind to be a poor interior decorator. I reckon every Kingsforder can decorate interiors with the best of them. The Super Interior Decorating Republic of Kingsford, they should call it.

JAFFA: Uh...yeah. Yeah, I guess they do have a penchant for interior decoration. But we're definitely glad to have you on the set Cletus -- it looks amazing. Do you recall how long it took to build the set?

CLETUS: I believe it only took 36 hours -- we hired some Brazillican immigrants to throw it together. But the whole shebang looks great, they did a great job. Real sturdy stuff.

[In the greatest irony of all, a lighting rig and a few 2 x 4s are seen falling from the roof headed for one destination: Jaffa Jeremycake's head.]

JAFFA: Oh sweet mother of god, the pain! The pain!

CLETUS: Whoa, i'm out of here, dudes.

[Cletus exits the set hurriedly and the Brazillican construction crew also begins fleeing.]

JAFFA: Ohh...my back...my arms...my pelvis. Well folks, that's all the time we have for on...ughh..the Jaffa....ugh....Jerem-

[Jaffa Jeremycake is hit by a second falling lighting rig -- sparks fly and the television feed cuts off.]

---

WE ARE HAVING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES -- ENJOY THE ELEVATOR MUSIC.

---

Days later, the Jaffa Jeremycake Show, after only one episode, is canceled after the set completely collapses into itself and it's host, Jaffa Jeremycake is hospitalized for the next few months. Further, the set was found to be laced with all number of narcotics -- and so ended the Jaffa Jeremycake Show. As they say, it's better to burn out than fade away.

The Bedistan Sports Digest

Easiest Win in Lions History
Whitehurst says fact that team and nation didn't exist surely helped

SAVANA, Tingitana -- For the past day now, the Bedistan Football Association has been quite baffled. The Lions were scheduled to play an away fixture in Grand Master Mark today. However, despite having checked the national geographic database literally dozens of times, BFA officials remained completely unable to locate a nation by that name. BFA president Javier McGuire quickly contacted the World Cup Committee to ask what should be done. The WCC quickly agreed that a change of venue would be necessary, and though it had to remain outside Bedistan, the location was otherwise the Lions' choice. They chose Savana, the capital of Tingitana, because "we felt quite sorry for the poor people of Tingitana after inexplicably being denied entrance to this year's Cup," according to manager Whitehurst. The Tingitanan government, or what little there is of one, had been threatening to close the Savana Football Grounds due to disuse, but the coming of the Lions allowed the stadium to remain open.

The fixture was scheduled for 20:00 local time, but the Bedistani team, patient as always, waited three hours for the nonexistent GMM team to arrive. When they did not, the manager asked for the clock to be started, and goalkeeper Terry Delk and defender Alan Crooks each proceeded to quickly kick the ball into the opposing net once before deciding not to bother anymore. While the remaining 89 minutes was ticked off, the 20 players (three were still out due to food poisoning) and Whitehurst split into three groups of seven. As Jeff Whitehurst is something of a board game fanatic in addition to being a national football team manager, he happened to have not one, but three Diplomacy boards in his possession, and each group played a game on their particular board. The board assignments were as follows:

Board A
England - Terry Delk
France - Katherine Greenwell
Italy - Alan Crooks
Germany - Kurt Brew
Austria - Ruben O'Hare
Russia - Morris McGarity
Turkey - Harry Miele

Board B
England - Karen Neighbors
France - Nathan Cooke
Italy - Scott Graham
Germany - Dean Willis
Austria - Kurt Mumm
Russia - Dustin Barnwell
Turkey - Maria Edelman

Board C
England - Darryl Barriere
France - Hugh Vallecillo
Italy - Penelope Boice
Germany - Zeke Roberts
Austria - Trent Cea
Russia - Tyrone Touchstone
Turkey - Jeff Whitehurst

At the end of the 90 minutes (though they kept playing through halftime), the winner was decided by whoever had the most pieces on the board.

Final score:
Grand Master Mark 0
Bedistan 2 (Delk 1, Crooks 1)

Board winners:
Board A: Harry Miele
Board B: Dustin Barnwell
Board C: Penelope Boice

Sturms top Bulldogs in high-point match

In the highest GA game yet to be played by the Sturms in WCXV, Gesamtkuntswerk faced off against upstarts Team Lovebug, trading blows and walking away the eventual victor in a 4-3 slugfest.

The first half opened with a strong push by the Bulldogs, showing impressive ball control and a solid sense of aggressive tactical skill. The Bulldogs earned the first goal of the night in the twenty-third minute, crediting LF Ellis McTeal (45) with the kill. After getting a taste of victory, the Bulldogs pushed forward again, manhandling the scattered Sturms and planting a second goal into Gesamtkuntswerk's net in the thirtieth minute, again accreddited to LF Ellis McTeal (45). The Sturms, determined to not let this one-uppmanship go unpunished, rallied in the closing minutes of the half, scoring their first goal of the game in the forty-third minute, fielded by James Bowie (03).

With the second half opening to a Team Gesamtkuntswerk losing 2-1, there was a definite sense of rally for the Sturms. The team approached the game with a higher level of aggression, earning twice as many yellow cards as the game-average for WCXIV. Nevertheless, the payoff was quick, when Mark Nicholson (41) scored in the fifty-second minute to tie the game. The Bulldogs tried to regain control of the game by making several attempts on the goal (protected by Merryl Strim (00)), but the Sturms soon overthrew their drive and planted a successful kick of their own in the sixty-ninth minute, scored by team favourite Pádraig O Máille (21). The Bulldogs seemed to appreciate the predicament in which they founded themselves, as a higher feeling of sensitivity was observed in their playing style. Team Lovebug held firm control over the ball for the next ten minutes, making two attempts before Panda Bamboor (02) successfully tied up the game in the eightieth minute. With time running out, the Sturms made one last effort to blitzkrieg the Bulldogs, pounding their defenses and making a remarkable number of attempts on the goal within those closing minutes. With eighty-eight on the clock, sub Jeremy Nac (30), in for James Bowie (03), bagged the seventh kill of the night, securing the victory for the Sturms with mere minutes left on the clock. Final score Gesamtkuntswerk 4, Lovebug 3.

The Sturms are to face off against Team Tadjikistan, the only other Group 2 team to have an undefeated record. To date, Tadjikistan and Gesamtkuntswerk hold 13 points, with four wins and one draw. Tadjikistan's record stands strong, though, of the four teams ranked above Tadjikistan as of the opening match, only stumbling Team Oglethorpia has faced them, tying Tadjikistan and scoring the only goal against the team. Will their undefeated record stand? We will find out in the coming days of World Cup Fourteen's qualifying rounds.

Oglethorpia - Tadjikistan 1-1

Dennisov 3 Rampagonia 0
Lovebug 3 Gesamtkuntswerk 4
Tadjikistan 1 Oglethorpia 1
Larkinia 4 Artoonia 0
Krytenia 1 Slaikau 0

Tadjikistan tied in the first test, but will they survive the rest?

Oglethorpia - With a very good start of their campaign the Tadjiks had to play their 5th match in and against Oglethorpia, predicted to be the strongest team in the group. But the Oglethorpian did not live up to those predictions lately and the Tadjik national team was confident that they could beat their opponent but never forgot that their opponent could do the same.

Different from other matches, Oglethorpia offered much more of a challenge to the Tadjik players, It took the Tadjiks till the 29th minute to create a first good chance. But Cherniakhovskij's shot found an Oglethorpian leg on its path. Zhukov and Pliiev made their attempts to go through the center but got no further then the Oglethorpians defense.

In the 44th minute Cherniakhovskij finally opened the score after breaking through the Oglethorpian left flank, scoring through the legs of the Oglethorpian goalkeeper.

The Oglethorpians got back on their feet and put up some stiff resistance in the second half, their first rush failed to get past Lev Yashin, who made a good save. Their second attempt in the 68th minute however, resulted in a goal. Managarov and Shaposhnikov were confused over who was to stop the Oglethorpian breakthrough and let them pass. That will give them something to talk about in the dressing rooms later.

The match ended with 1-1, the first draw for Tadjikistan in this campaign. An good result for playing against the number 6 of the world at home. But Coach Triandafillov was not happy; "We will now have to travel to Gesamtkuntswerk, playing away. Against a team with the same amount of points as us from matches that were much harder then the ones we played. This was not our most difficult match, that one is still to come." Is he reffering to our next match against Gesamtkuntswerk or the match in Oglethorpia on MD14?

Well, we still have 3 points more then Dennisov while go move to Gesamtkuntswerk. The winner of this game will be the leader of the group. The experts in the field think Gesamts will win, but the fans hope it will be Tadjikistan.

[code:1:29af53f587]
Group 2
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Tadjikistan 5 4 1 0 13 1 12 13 52
2 Gesamtkuntswerk 5 4 1 0 11 6 5 13 52
3 Dennisov 5 3 1 1 8 3 5 10 49
4 Larkinia 5 3 0 2 12 9 3 9 48
5 Lovebug 5 3 0 2 11 9 2 9 48
6 Oglethorpia 5 2 1 2 7 5 2 7 46
7 Krytenia 5 2 1 2 6 7 -1 7 46
8 Artoonia 5 1 0 4 2 11 -9 3 42
9 Rampagonia 5 0 1 4 2 10 -8 1 40
10Slaikau 5 0 0 5 3 14 -11 0 39
[/code:1:29af53f587]

Matches and results:
MD1:Tadjikistan - Larkinia W 4-0
MD2:Krytenia - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD3:Tadjikistan - Slaikau W 3-0
MD4:Artoonia - Tadjikistan W 0-3
MD5:Tadjikistan - Oglethorpia T 1-1
MD6:Gesamtkuntswerk - Tadjikistan
MD7:Tadjikistan - Dennisov
MD8:Lovebug - Tadjikistan
MD9:Tadjikistan - Rampagoonia
MD10:Larkinia - Tadjikistan
MD11:Tadjikistan - Krytenia
MD12:Slaikau - Tadjikistan
MD13:Tadjikistan - Artoonia
MD14:Oglethorpia - Tadjikistan
MD15:Tadjikistan - Gesamtkuntswerk
MD16:Dennisov - Tadjikistan
MD17:Tadjikistan - Lovebug
MD18:Rampagoonia - Tadjikistan

The Valerian Voice
Magnus Valerius Dethroned from Top of Group 9!

Boyars Lose to Kingsford 1 - 2

The Tsar Alexander II Grand Colosseum was lit up for the late afternoon - evening game that would take place between Kingsford and Magnus Valerius. The skyscrapers shimmered in the dying light before the electric and gas lights turned on, illuminating the city in the growing darkness. Roars emerged from the TAGC as Michael Kyritsis topped off the first thirty minutes of the game with a goal.

However, Kingsford was to retaliate two-fold. By the end of the game, Kingsford made two goals that secured their win over the Boyars, 1 -2. The Boyars had made their first loss in the season. This loss had toppled the Valerian national team from the top slot of the Group 9 rankings.

"This is very disheartening," said Alexander II, who was in attendance as usual to Home games. "I don't want to see my team, in which I have put my soul into, lose its chance to qualify in this World Cup." The emperor soon rushed to talk to his team, in order to talk about the critical situation they're in. If Valeria loses its next two matches, it might be difficult to earn a chance to qualify out of Group 9. However, considering that the loss against Kingsford, the #1 World Team, could have been a lot worse, there is a chance for Valeria to regain its top slot if it wins against the tougher opponents in Cockbill Street and The Belmore Family.

Tomorrow, Matchday 6, will have the Boyars pitted against Cockbill Street on their home turf. It may be slated that this game will be another loss or draw, but there is a chance that we might actually win this game. We hope the best for the national team here at The Voice.


GOALS:

#67 - Michael Kyritsis, (1), 1st Half

MATCHDAY PROGRESS CHART
Powered by Valeririjk Communicom

Match Day 1: Magnus Valerius v. Shang-ti, D 1 - 1
Match Day 2: Resistencia v. Magnus Valerius, W 3 - 4
Match Day 3: Magnus Valerius v. Rukbat al Rami, W 4 - 3
Match Day 4: KT MPLG v. Magnus Valerius W 1 -2
Match Day 5: Magnus Valerius v. Kingsford L 1 - 2
Match Day 6: Cockbill Street v. Magnus Valerius
Match Day 7: Magnus Valerius v. The Belmore Family @ Imperial Dome
Match Day 8: Lovisa v. Magnus Valerius
Match Day 9: Magnus Valerius v. Tasty Toast @ Valensian Complex

Rankings:


[code:1:6bb3d82e55]Group 9
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Kingsford 5 3 2 0 12 8 4 11 50
2 The Belmore Family 5 3 1 1 12 5 7 10 49
3 Shang-ti 5 3 1 1 9 4 5 10 49
4 Magnus Valerius 5 3 1 1 12 10 2 10 49 *
5 Cockbill Street 5 2 3 0 10 6 4 9 48
6 Lovisa 5 2 2 1 10 7 3 8 47
7 Resistencia 5 1 1 3 8 11 -3 4 43
8 Tasty Toast 5 1 1 3 3 7 -4 4 43
9 Rekbat al Rami 5 1 0 4 8 12 -4 3 42
10KT MPLG 5 0 0 5 2 16 -14 0 39 [/code:1:6bb3d82e55]

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/ao/vn15.gif


Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) 2 - 0 Svecia
( Östling 55p, DuPont 73 ) - ( none )



Alexander Östling and Serge DuPont ensured Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) took all three points against qualification rivals Svecia with a crucial 2-0 victory at The Shultis, Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) moving within one point of their opponents in 6th place in the group table.

On an explosive night at The Shultis, the match began with fireworks, and with Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) roared on by the vast majority of a noisy 45,615 crowd, who were determined to play their part in providing a highly charged atmosphere.

But Svecia, who have seen their own results falter in the last week - and jeered by their own fans after the goalless draw with D2R - looked eager to make amends with a determined first half display that kept Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) defending for much of the opening period. Gustav Mähler struck the woodwork after steering a shot goalwards from a right wing cross from the lively Etars Viernes, whilst more desperate defending from the home side somehow kept the ball out as Arnold von der Rein saw a header clip the post during a period of sustained pressure.

But Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita)'s backline - and in particular the irrepressible Jürgen Ramzi and Giacomo Adika - were increasingly in control of their opponents with unbeatable Man of the Match performances at the back, and that proved to be the cushion that the home team needed to break out in the second half.Attacking towards their massed ranks of home fans, Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) finally turned up the heat on an already well poised promotion battle, and the lively DuPont showed neat footwork to skip away from his marker on the left touchline before curling an early cross into the box which Banda was inches from converting.

Enzo Ahat fired wide of goal as Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) finally found the space to push forward and stretch Svecia, and that proved the visitors' undoing as Ramzi' curling long ball out of defence looked to send Jonathon Stott clean through, defender Hans Larsson handling in a desperate attempt to cut out the threat.The linesman immediately waved for the infringement and the referee had no hesitation in pointing to the spot - from where Östling swept a 55th minute penalty to the right of keeper Piet van Meer, the cue for The Shultis to erupt as the midfielder ripped his shirt off in joy.

Determined not to let their loyal away following down once again, Svecia hit back at Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) with more pressure, but found the tireless Adika and Ramzi in inspired form winning everything at the back - Adika comprehensively marking Svecia top scorer Francisco Carati out of the match.

As they frustrated the visitors with strong defending, the space was increasingly there for Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) to exploit on the break, and Stott showed blistering pace to outstrip Mikael Solkjaer with a run down the right touchline, his early cross met by DuPont in the middle.The youthful striker failed to make proper contact however with the goal at his mercy, but that proved merely a warning however, as on 73 minutes the lively young Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita)n started and finished the impressive move which secured all three points for Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita).

DuPont broke up play in midfield with an inch perfect tackle, Banda laying the ball back to Santo Kecker, who sent a pass over the top for Stott to race onto - the winger curling another low cross into the box which DuPont this time sprinted in to slot past the keeper.

It could have been three, minutes later when substitute Christian Dogbé - on for Östling - dropped his shoulder to cut inside his marker before drilling a low angled cross-shot across the face of goal which sliding in, Banda almost converted.Svecia continued to push on in a desperate search for a route through Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita)'s resolute defending, but their frustrations boiled over in the final minute as Karl Mayha and Christian Dogbé tangled in midfield, sparking a brawl which saw Mayha raise his arm to Dogbé's face. Mayha and Dogbé both went into the book.


Svecia Roster Source: WC13 Roster Thread (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=2928532&highlight=#2928532)


------------

AOCAF Requires Replacement Team

The Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football was hit with the resignation of the nation of Soul Expression just days before the start of the tournament. With the groups already drawn and the fixtures already scheduled, Soul Expression withdrew from Atlantian Oceania, and in turn, the 8 Team AO Finals. Many fans have called for the inclusion of new member NEWI Cefn Druids to replace the expressionists, however the Druids, if accepted into the tournament, would be allowed to take the unprecidented step of bypassing the qualifying stages. The Nations of Novus Atlantica, Samonina and Lieno have already been offered the finals spot vacated by Soul Expression, but have declined the invitation due to the lack of readiness of their squads. This would make the Druids an easy inclusion, as their team is currently participating in World Cup Qualifiers and may want to use the AOCAF as additional training leading up to the World Cup Finals.

------------

D2R Tops Group 8

Dance 2 Revolution has catapulted to the top of the Group 8 table following their 3-1 Victory over bottom side Bakinhale. Former group leaders Wella were held to a 2-2 draw with group favorites Lemmitania. The Avenging Altos remain the surprise of the group, defeating the unknown East Asians to maintain their place in the 3rd qualification spot. In the other match of the group, Starblaydia recorded it's first ever senior victory with the 2-0 triumph over Grays harbor.


[code:1:8ff5d63ae1]
Group 8
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Dance 2 Revolution 5 3 2 0 9 2 7 11 50
2 Wella 5 3 2 0 10 6 4 11 50
3 Avenging Altos 5 3 1 1 13 9 4 10 49
4 Lemmitania 5 2 2 1 9 6 3 8 47
5 Svecia 5 2 2 1 6 4 2 8 47
6 Vilita 5 2 1 2 7 7 0 7 46
7 Starblaydia 5 1 1 3 6 7 -1 4 43
8 The East Asian Empire 5 1 1 3 5 12 -7 4 43
9 Bakinhale 5 1 0 4 5 11 -6 3 42
10Grays Harbor 5 0 2 3 4 10 -6 2 41
[/code:1:8ff5d63ae1]

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/sched.gif
M01:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [2] - [1] Starblaydia - [Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3288802#3288802)] -
M02:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [1] Grays Harbor <- - [Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3288802#3288802)] -
M03:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [2] ???????? - [Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3288802#3288802)] -
M04:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [3] Lemmitania <- [Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3292323#3292323)] -
M05:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [2] - [0] Svecia
M06:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Dance 2 Revolution <-
M07:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Bakinhale
M08:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Wella
M09:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Avenging Altos <-
M10:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Starblaydia <-
M11:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Grays Harbor
M12:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] ???????? <-
M13:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Lemmitania
M14:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Svecia <-
M15:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Dance 2 Revolution
M16:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Bakinhale <-
M17:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Wella <-
M18:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Avenging Altos

One Fine Day
Two Great Goals
Three Fantastic Points
Starblaydia's Historic First Win
Taken from the Jhanna Post and Times, Top Story in the Sports Section

Sporting history has been made for Starblaydia, their first World Cup Qualifying win in their history. 50,000 jubliant fans at the Marceto stadium. David Bentley opened the scoring on 25 minutes with a delightful chip over the on-rushing goalkeeper from around 23 yards. Starblaydia dominated from that moment on, but Grays Harbour are a notoriously difficult team to score against, and they held on at 1-0 going into half time.

Fabricio de Souza Lima's supreme skills allowed him a free role behind the front two, and this he took with relish, showing all his skills as he danced round defenders, but unable to put the final ball in the net.

All that changed on 74 minutes, when after one of his dizzying runs he found himself past the goalie, needing only a small stab at the ball to score, which he duly did.

At the final whistle, celebrations erupted all around the stadium, which went on long into the night. Rumours abound that the team will soon meet the Lord-Protector in recognition for their sporting feat.


Final Score:
Starblaydia 2 - 0 Grays Harbor
(Bentley 25, de Souza Lima 74)

The Red Dot Informant
Kahi’d Diat Xhishbua – 红点日报 – 赤い点新聞

Lost to the Low and Unknown

One Red Dot fell to the most unlikely of teams. First it was newcomer Ktony at the Kontactkomm Stadium at Hawklands and then it was to veteran The Lowland Clans at Chisai'nihon Stadium.

Perhaps it was the over-confidence of the Wolves which led to the first downfall at Kontactkomm Stadium with a humiliating 0-1 loss.

The next match at Chisai'nihon Stadium also proved futile as the Wolves got clamped down by a 1-2 loss, ending with only a 33% home games winning percentage.

Thankfully at Aquilla, the Wolves defeated them 3-1, bringing the Wolves back to form.

WCXV Group 1 Qualifier Tables provided by The Red Dot Informant Analyst Team only because the officials could not provide correct tables.
[code:1:91d24cb786]
Group 1 P W D L F A GD T
The Lowland Clans 5 3 1 1 10 5 +5 10
One Red Dot 5 3 0 2 8 5 +3 9
Bedistan 5 3 0 2 7 4 +3 9
Aquilla 5 3 0 2 8 6 +2 9
Ktony 5 2 2 1 8 5 +3 8
Crabec 5 2 1 2 9 13 -4 7
Turori 5 1 3 1 8 7 +1 6
Grand Master Mark 5 2 0 3 4 7 -3 6
TripB 5 1 1 3 4 8 -4 4
Foggymushmush 5 1 0 4 9 15 -6 3[/code:1:91d24cb786]

The group stays tight as leader The Lowland Clans is followed extremely closely by second-placers One Red Dot, Bedistan and Aquilla. Newcomers Ktony and Crabec surprisingly follow behind.


ORD World Cup Record provided by aSWORD (Association of the Sports World of One Red Dot)
[code:1:91d24cb786]
World Cup WC7 WC8 WC9 WC10 WC11 WC12 WC13 WC14 WC15
Matches Played 13 13 17 7 17 14 21 22 5

Wins 9 6 8 4 10 8 12 16 3
Draws 1 2 4 1 6 4 3 4 0
Losses 3 5 5 2 1 2 6 2 2

Goals For 31 22 24 14 29 27 27 45 8
Average GF 2.38 1.69 1.41 2.00 1.71 1.93 1.29 2.05 1.60
Goals Against 9 19 19 11 7 11 12 19 5
Average GA 0.69 1.46 1.12 1.57 0.41 0.79 0.57 0.82 1.00
Goal Diff. +22 +3 +5 +3 +22 +16 +15 +26 +3
Average GD +1.69 +0.23 +0.29 +0.43 +1.29 +1.14 +0.89 +1.18 +0.60

Total Matches 49 62 79 86 103 117 138 160 165

Acc. Wins 26 32 40 44 54 62 74 90 93
Acc. Draws 11 13 17 18 24 28 31 35 35
Acc. Losses 12 17 22 24 25 27 33 35 37

Accumulated GF 88 110 134 148 177 204 231 276 284
Ave. Acc. GF 1.80 1.77 1.70 1.72 1.72 1.74 1.67 1.73 1.72
Accumulated GA 51 70 89 100 107 118 130 149 154
Ave. Acc. GA 1.04 1.13 1.13 1.16 1.04 1.01 0.94 0.93 0.93
Accumulated GD +37 +40 +45 +48 +70 +86 +101 +127 +130
Ave. Acc. GD +0.76 +0.65 +0.57 +0.58 +0.68 +0.74 0.73 0.79 +0.79

Average Opp. Rank# 25.40 41.80 26.29 16.86 26.00 39.67 28.57 30.11 48.20
Highest Opp. Rank 7 21 1 1 4 15 5 2 8
Lowest Opp. Rank# 52 68 79 50 50 74 53 71 115

Pre-Cup Rank 22 16 29 29 20 11 28 29 22
Standardised Rank# -0.18 -1.16 0.10 0.71 -0.29 -0.93 -0.03 -0.05 -0.57

#Newbie ranks are excluded.
World Cup 4-6 statistics have been truncated to accommodate newer records.
*Rounding-ups/downs may cause calculative errors in the table.[/code:1:91d24cb786]

ORD Previous Matches
01 One Red Dot v TripB @ Royal Red Dot National Stadium: 2-0
02 Bedistan v One Red Dot @ Bedistan: 1-0
03 One Red Dot v Ktony @ Kontactkomm Stadium: 0-1
04 One Red Dot v The Lowland Clans @ Chisai’nihon Stadium: 1-2
05 Aquilla v One Red Dot @ Aquilla: 1-3

ORD Match Fixtures
06 One Red Dot v Grand Master Mark @ Westshores Stadium
07 Turori v One Red Dot @ Turori
08 One Red Dot v Foggymushmush @ Dorona Stadium
09 Crabec v One Red Dot @ Crabec
10 TripB v One Red Dot @ TripB
11 One Red Dot v Bedistan @ Royal Red Dot National Stadium
12 Ktony v One Red Dot @ Ktony
13 The Lowland Clans v One Red Dot @ The Lowland Clans
14 One Red Dot v Aquilla @ Royal Burrington Stadium
15 Grand Master Mark v One Red Dot @ Grand Master Mark
16 One Red Dot v Turori @ Gweridijong City Stadium
17 Foggymushmush v One Red Dot @ Foggymushmush
18 One Red Dot v Crabec @ Royal Red Dot National Stadium

OOC: Backstory: In the first appearance of Milan Tia~e, in a domestic match between two rejistanian clubs, it was said that he did not play because he .... came far too close to the daughter of the coach. This posting continues this story some years later. Match RP to come.

It has been a slow day in the registry office of Kalisimu for government official Heti Ji~l, he just wait for one last appointment until he can leave into the weekend. 5 minutes after belated, the two persons finally appear. "Sorry for making you wait. The bus came 15 minutes too late!" said the young woman, clad in a long and traditionally red dress. The man wearing tuxedo just nodded. Heti Ji~l was a bit surprised about this excuse, most people prefer to go by car or at least by taxi if they go here. A wedding, even if it is only a registry office wedding is normally something special. Heti Ji~l didn't show his surprise but greeted both politely, asked for the identity cards and the birth certificates. Now he shuddered a bit.. these persons are really Milan Tia~e and Ilxi Sela. The yellow press wrote about the affair 5 years ago, but both declared that it was over and there was no contact between each other anymore. Mainly because parents of both sides were strongly against this relation. He did not show his surprise since he has been in this job for 40 years, he just asked: "To which family do you want to belong after the marriage". Milan answered concisely "new", meaning neither Milan's nor Ilxi's family accept the marriage and they are not allowed to use the family name of one of the families for this reasons. "What is your alternative name that you want to use?" In most of the times, these names were simple names or at least well-known ones. "Iti~n" answered both at once, then loked at each other and smiled. Quickly and with a lot of routine, Heti Ji~l filled out the forms, then he said with as much ceremonial voice you can have when wanting to leave for the weekend soon: "Milan of the family Tia~e, do you really want to marry Ilxi of the family Sela?" - "yes, absolutely!" - Ilxi of the family Sela, do you really want to marry Milan of the family Tia~e? - "Yes, I want!" - "In lentine of Kalisimu, I declare you husband and wife, please sign these forms with your old and your new name." They signed the form, Milan Tia~e, who is now Milan Iti~n, kissed his wife long and passionately after that. The ceremony ended quickly after that, the certificates are nomally sent by mail and Heti Ji~l wanted to depart into the weekend. When Milan and Ilxi left, Heti thought about calling the yellow press, but then thought differently about it. 'Let them both be happy!'



----


Sometimes you get the orange blues
The Orange-Blues tied the 5th match of the qualifiers in the Redavic Union with 2:2. The Orange-Blues had quite a strong attack but the traditionally strong defense was more than shaky. Especially Syku Lulu was a disappointment in the team, he was far too often at the right time at the wrong place or the other way around. Laxtu Takil once again had problems with keeping his temper, again he was pretty close to be sent off. Takil'he had a reason to be angry since Milan Iti~n, formerly Milan Tia~e, could not play due to a rather strange incident: Hadju Sela, father of Iti~n'he's wife Ilxi, attacked the star-striker when he left his house, shouting about betraying the family. neighbours seperted the two and called the police, who arrested Sela'he. He will face a hard punishment since surely every judge in Ihiri is fan of the Orange-Blues. After this incident, Milan "Tihrana" Iti~n preferred not to start. Luckily, he was not injured. Hansalda Ki took his place.

The home team had good chances and dominted the first half against an Orange-Blue team, which looked like a group of highschoolers after a good party. Too many passes were intercepted, too often occured misunderstandings especially in the defense. The 1:0 for the home team happened in the 10th minute by <player>. This trailing somehow improved the play of the lasane. But despite this, in the 15th minute, <player> striked again and rose the score to 0:2 against the Orange-Blues. Laxtu Takil nearly exploses out of anger about his team. Teke Daran, chief of the RejisFA, was seen covering his face by his hands. When Laxtu Takil calmed at least a bit down, he replace two players: Nxeni Venu came in for Idine Takil and Syku Lulu replaced Seda Kansu. These substitutions gave the team more stability and the Union had far less chances. Venu'he was the one who started the counter attack, which eventually led to the first goal for the Orange-Blues in the 38th minute. Hansalda Ki archieved his first international goal.

The second half saw an attacking rejistanian team fighting against a redavician all out defense. A strange sight since normally the roles are reversed. The rejistanians had some good chances but unfortunately could not capitalize them. in the 64th minute, Laxtu Takil made his third substitution: Hiki Suny came in for Liy Ra. The Redavic team nearly archieved the 1:3 in the 70th minute, but Y'he intercepted a pass between two redavic strikers and again a counter-attack started. the Redavic defense was unprepared and so Lyku Ju equalized the score in the 72nd minute. the rest of the second half saw much Rejistanian dominance but unfortunately no more goals. The 2:2 makes the Orange-Blues slip to the 5th place in the group table. Sometimes you really can get the blues when looking at that, the orange blues to be exact.

The result
The Redavic Union 2 (<player> 10th 15th)
Rejistania 2 (Ki 38th, Ju 72nd)

Jeruselem Government News

Jeruselem reclaim top spot while Raptors fall to Audioslavia

Jeruselem reclaimed top spot in Group 3 while leader Raptor Claw failed to make an impact on Audioslavia who won 3-0.

In an uninspired 1-0 win against Isles of Wohlstand, were some major players were rested after the loss to Audioslavia, Jeruselem heads Group 3. Audioslavia made it's move thumping Raptors Claw 3-0 to be back in form as well as Commerce Heights who disposed of Creedence 4-1 Boscioto win it's first game 2-0 against Kipto-Mare. Ineptia won to keep it's top 4 spot.

In the 1-0 win, some U-21 players got a chance to impress the selectors for the next game, but Isles of Wohlstand proved difficult to break down all match.

Group 3
Jeruselem 1 Isles of Wohlstand 0
Creedence Clearwater 1 Commerce Heights 4
Raptor Claw 0 Audioslavia 3
Ineptia 3 Sportonia 1
Kipto-Mare 0 Boscioto 2

[code:1:3da817b9c5]
Group 3
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Jeruselem 5 4 0 1 13 5 8 12 51
2 Commerce Heights 5 4 0 1 10 2 8 12 51
3 Raptor Claw 5 4 0 1 12 5 7 12 51
4 Ineptia 5 4 0 1 10 7 3 12 51
5 Audioslavia 5 3 0 2 5 2 3 9 48
6 Creedence Clearwater 5 2 1 2 9 9 0 7 46
7 Isles of Wohlstand 5 2 0 3 6 6 0 6 45
8 Boscioto 5 1 0 4 6 15 -9 3 42
9 Kipto-Mare 5 0 1 4 3 12 -9 1 40
10Sportonia 5 0 0 5 4 15 -11 0 39
[/code:1:3da817b9c5]

ORD Previous Matches
02 Bedistan v One Red Dot @ Bedistan: 1-0

A slight correction, if I may: the scores thread shows this as a 2-1 ORD victory instead of 1-0. :)

Lovisans Steal Point And Show
Rikkiter Scale: 6.1

A very disappointing effort in the Lovisan city of Atma today saw Cockbill Street drop yet another point in the fight for World Cup qualification. In what proves to be the tightest fight yet, six teams are within three points - surprisingly, relative newcomers Shang-ti have grabbed ten points and are in third place, while Magnus Valerius also have scored 10 points after some important wins. Cockbill Street, on the other hand, have not lost a single match yet, but a draw against Tasty Toast and another draw today against Lovisa have sent them into fifth place.

An early goal from the Giant Zucchini professional, Georg Lunz, sent Lovisa into the lead after only fifteen minutes as Lunz headed in a cross from the left winger Grzegorz Siedlecki. However, Cockbill Street fought back, and dominated for parts of the first half. They were unlucky not to have equalised when Morten Solem failed to tackle Steinari Einarsson, who weaved through the defense, but his shot went off Jacek Lacheta's boot and out to a corner kick.

1-0 to Lovisa at half time, and just after the break, Andrzej Górka got through the middle and made another goal. In desperation, Olaf Iskalt substituted Jorn Arnarson, who again seemed very poor, for Niall Johnson. And that seemed to help, as the right wing attacks led by Górka and Kulig got blocked completely, and the left wingers got stuck on Stonelover. And in the centre, nobody got through due to the Street's overcrowded midfield.

Rikki Stone had parachuted in from a brown-coloured plane at half-time, a PR stunt clearly directed by MPL club Acosta Browns, and came on with 15 minutes to spare. Immediately, he took control of the match, scoring one goal within a couple of minutes as he chipped the ball over Solem, rushed behind him and grabbed the ball, and then blasted it into the top corner. And with only six minutes remaining, he made a beautiful pass to fellow striker Jonny Ball, who had little to do but place it calmly to the right of the keeper. The match ended 2-2, and the Street survived a major scare.

Cockbill Street 2 (Stone 77, Ball 85)
Lovisa 2 (Lunz 16, Górka 48 )

Cockbill Street Ratings: Roberts 5 - Stonelover 5, Rogers 6, Arnarson 4 (Johnson on 54 7) - Sodium-alginate 6, E Einarsson 5, H Axewielder 6 (Howard on 78 ), Jones 5 - Peterson 5 (Stone on 74), S Einarsson 6, Ball 6.

Lovisa Ratings: Jedlinski 6 - Lacheta 4, Biel 5, Solem 4, Vilgoor 6 - Siedlecki 6, Szymanski 7, Kulig 4, Górka 6 - Lunz 5, Backer 6.

Return of the Zucchinis:
Episode 2: Conspiracy Theory

The familiar looking chair facing away from the camera is seen again. The zucchini enters the door.

Zucchini: The Zucchinis have defeated Progressive Beans 3-0, sir.

Dark figure: Perfect. Now is the time to strike.

Zucchini: But how?

Dark figure: Don’t you think it’s time for Plaat to get some “new” boots? Hmhmhmhmhehehe…


A few weeks later…

Zucchini: The Zucchinis drew Squornshelous 3-3.

Dark figure: What? Who scored?

Zucchini: Phoot scored 2, and Shtaan scored 1 off a deflection.

Dark figure: This is preposterous. Talk to your subordinates. Get Zonk on the next match. Also, clog up the internet access, cut off their RP bonus. They MUST lose the next game.


Another few weeks later…

Zucchini: The Zucchinis have lost to EL CID THE HERO 1-3.

Dark figure: Excellent. Things are starting to fall into place. Now let the Zucchinis have another run, I need to keep tabs on Ascensia. Points to a spot on the world map with a metal stick.

Zucchini: You’re pointing to Rampagonia.

Dark figure: Err…I knew that. Of course I have a plan for them…errr…I’ll…err…use them to…err, like…create some disturbance in his group…or something like that. Of course, I leave the execution to you…

------------------------TO BE CONTINUED------------------------

Victims of the Green Ripper:
Escape to Slavery
Return of the Jedi
J.S. Bach: The Well-Tempered Clavier
Shrek 2
Deus Ex: Invisible War
Pinky and the Brain
The Iraqi Information Minister
A nation’s post in the Scores thread
Sir Bobby Robson
Ryan Seacrest, American Idol
The Grim Reaper
Conspiracy Theory
Korea, Capitol Steps
Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo

The Daily Druid

EVERYBODY DIES GET MURDERED
Wayne Ottgunn-Irwin on NEWI Cefn Druids 4 Everybody Dies 0

The Druids had their easiest win of the campaign so far after their opponents from Everybody Dies decided to blow themselves up in the opening minutes of the match. However, due to them exploding at different times, the Druids managed to score four before giving up on not having an opponent and going home early. It also meant that Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po scored the quickest hat-trick ever, with just 35 seconds of play covering the three, as well as a Trevor Belmore goal.

The result leaves the Druids top of their group (!) after five games, with the fourth best record in all of qualifying.

Final score:
NEWI Cefn Druids 4 [Gessemschmitthaagen-Po 38 secs, 56 secs, 73 secs, Belmore 66 secs]
Everybody Dies 0

Druids team ( 4-3-3 ): Garth; Griffiths, Hinton, Lambealle, Groves; Posters, Welsh, Holmes; Frederiksson, Belmore, Gessemschmitthaagen-Po.

Results so far...

Matchday 1: NEWI Cefn Druids 2-0 Coruna
Matchday 2: The Home Islands 0-3 NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 3: NEWI Cefn Druids 1-1 Brazillico
Matchday 4: Europa Brittania 1-2 NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 5: NEWI Cefn Drudis 4-0 Everybody Dies

...top scorers...

(6) Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po
(2) Trevor Belmore
(1) Björn-Trevor Frederiksson, Trevor Kallins, Bill Posters, Trevor Law.

...and still to come...

Matchday 6: NEWI Cefn Druids v Melmond
Matchday 7: Intelligent Madness v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 8: NEWI Cefn Druids v Turnia
Matchday 9: Lykaia v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 10: Coruna v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 11: NEWI Cefn Druids v The Home Islands
Matchday 12: Brazillico v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 13: NEWI Cefn Druids v Europa Brittania
Matchday 14: Everybody Dies v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 15: Melmond v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 16: NEWI Cefn Druids v Intelligent Madness
Matchday 17: Turnia v NEWI Cefn Druids
Matchday 18: NEWI Cefn Druids v Lykaia

NEWI CEFN DRUIDS WELCOMED INTO ATLANTIAN OCEANIA
By Ian Question-Mark

NEWI Cefn Druids has been received with open arms by the region of Atlantian Oceania. After being invited by regional founders Vilita, the Druid people seem to be settling in well. Meanwhile, a vacancy has appeared in the AOCAF Cup, and the Druids look likely to fill the space created by Soul Expression's departure. More on that later.

Jack Whacks Raptor
Croft Scores, Claw Snores

Two early goals from Jackie Croft gave Audioslavia a huge boost against top-of-the-table Raptor Claw.

Audioslavia, who had managed only two goals in four games previously, took an early lead through a Jack Croft volley after Jensen had skipped down the wing and laid off a superb ball for the midfielder.

Raptor hit back, rattling the left hand post from a corner, but five minutes later it was two-nil as Croft siezed on a loose ball from a deflection off of a Raptor Claw defender.

The goal took the breath out of the 'Claw, and they found themselves struggling to get back into the match in the run up to half time, as Audioslavia finally looked to gain some confidence. In first-half injury time, Bracken drove a shot past the goalkeeper, and it was effectively all over.

The second-half saw Raptor Claw make in-roads into the 'slaves back four, with Rab Jones having to make two good saves and watch another shot strike his crossbar, but the 'slaves held on for the 3-0 win.

FINAL SCORE
Raptor Claw 0
Audioslavia 3 (Croft 8, 25, Bracken 45)

[code:1:77794be101]
Group 3
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts
1 Jeruselem 5 4 0 1 13 5 8 12
2 Commerce Heights 5 4 0 1 10 2 8 12
3 Raptor Claw 5 4 0 1 12 5 7 12
4 Ineptia 5 4 0 1 10 7 3 12
5 Audioslavia 5 3 0 2 5 2 3 9
6 Creedence Clearwater 5 2 1 2 9 9 0 7
7 Isles of Wohlstand 5 2 0 3 6 6 0 6
8 Boscioto 5 1 0 4 6 15 -9 3
9 Kipto-Mare 5 0 1 4 3 12 -9 1
10Sportonia 5 0 0 5 4 15 -11 0
[/code:1:77794be101]

With the exception of the bottom two sides, Audioslavia have the pleasure of having scored the least goals, but also conceded the least goals. It seems the glitsy, high-flying slaves of yesteryear are gone, and we are back to the original 'das boot' approach to football. The top teams in the group have pinned themselves to the top of the table, with Jerusalem and Commerce Heights taking first and second places respectively. Ineptia and Raptor Claw lie third and fourth, but on the same points, whilst the 'slaves lie fifth, three points adrift. Its going to take some more performances like today to get them back to where they realistically belong.

I've been Jeremy Jaffacake, g'nite bitches.

You Are Now Reading a transcript of World Championship Soccer News brought to you by the good people at LNSNN…Here with the WCXV Updates are our Anchors… LOPAKAKIKA http://www.msnbc.com/onair/Bios/Global/costas_b.jpg and KANIELAPAKELIKA http://espnradio.espn.go.com/i/columnists/patrick_dan_c.jpg…

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/lovebug.jpg

LOPAKAKIKA: Good Afternoon Lovebug, as you may have already heard or seen the Bulldog's lost in good fashion last night, fighting till the very end yet they still could not quite hold on as the Sturms would get a narrow 4-3 victory over our beloved Dog's.

KANIELAPAKELIKA: Valiant performances were made by two of Lovebug's
most well loved players Panda Bamboor and Ellis McTeal (Players are pictured wearing not the Lovebug International Unified Team Uniform but rather the uniform of their individual National Teams).
http://www.football-rumours.com/images/takahara5.jpg
http://www.football-rumours.com/images/fernandomorientes.JPG

LOPAKAKIKA: I had an interview after the game with Ellis to get his take on the match-up....

LOPAKAKIKA: So Ellis, this has to be a tough loss for the Bulldogs loosing so narrowly here at home http://www.worldstadiums.com/stadium_pictures/asia/japan/saitama2.jpg?

Ellis: Yeah you know I thought we had it there at the beginning. We started off great, the fans were behind us 100% as usual, I wanted to bring home a victory but in the end it was just their day.

LOPAKAKIKA: You and the team are off to face Dennisov tommorow how do you feel about this match-up?

Ellis: Well, we just want get back on track you know we had 3 victories and then we've just started slipping - not putting in a whole lot of effort against Oglethorpia, I think the boys went in a little over confident which tends to happen you know we do really well and then when get to a really great team we forget that we're still pretty knew to the international scene - this is our third time out, but some of these people have been around since the early days - we've all played for years, some longer than others here at home but it's a different story - we're playing 9 teams we've never played before - at least in national match-ups even if your not in your own stadium your still home - now where going places most of us have never been before playing these teams, some that are real good, we're trying to learn their styles, trying to figure out what works best is going to take some time - we're going to head out on a plane tonight, watch some of the films from Dennisov this season, see if we can pick up on anything, and get out on their field early, practice, psych ourselves back up again. I think we just have to learn from our mistakes the last couple of days - go out there and do our best man.

LOPAKAKIKA: All right well thank you for talking to us man.

Ellis: You got it anytime man, see ya….(walks off to the locker room)

KANIELAPAKELIKA: Well he sure seemed confident.

LOPAKAKIKA: Yeah you know I think that the team is going to do great this season, we 3-0-2, we’re scoring high 11 goals in 5 match-ups, we just have to protect the goal a little better against the big name teams and I think we’ll see another Qualifying Turn, maybe even second round this time.

KANIELAPAKELIKA: All right well we’ll see you tomorrow from Dennisov everybody!

Match Day 1: 4 v 7 Home – Krytenia – WIN (2-1)
Match Day 2: 8 v 4 Away – Slaikau – WIN (3-1)
Match Day 3: 4 v 9 Home – Artoonia – WIN (2-0)
Match Day 4: 1 v 4 Away – Oglethorpia – LOSS (3-1)
Match Day 5: 4 v 2 Home – Gesamtkuntswerk – LOSS (4-3)
Match Day 6: 3 v 4 Away - Dennisov
Match Day 7: 4 v 10 Home - Rampagonia
Match Day 8: 4 v 5 Home - Tadjikistan
Match Day 9: 6 v 4 Away - Larkinia
Match Day 10: 7 v 4 Away - Krytenia
Match Day 11: 4 v 8 Home - Slaikau
Match Day 12: 9 v 4 Away - Artoonia
Match Day 13: 4 v 1 Home - Oglethorpia
Match Day 14: 2 v 4 Away - Gesamtkuntswerk
Match Day 15: 4 v 3 Home - Dennisov
Match Day 16: 10 v 4 Away - Rampagonia
Match Day 17: 5 v 4 Away - Tadjikistan
Match Day 18: 4 v 6 Home – Larkinia

On a recent part of offdays after the 5th game of World Cup XV, The Gulf States national team flew back home to have a couple of practices. These practices were open to the public to watch, free of charge, and a few lucky ones were even allowed to play on the field with the team.

However, only a few people shown up.

The event was held at Westvale High School in Worcester, just outside the national capital in Lexington. A bunch of athletes at the school were walking by, watching the national team play and saw the 100 or so watching.

The athletes walked up to the fence in their football uniforms, watching along for a minute. The equipment manager of the national team came over to the football players at the fence.

"Are you here to watch our practice?"

One of the boys replied "we're just watching while we wait for our practice."

"This is our national team here. The best our country has to offer in international football competition."

Another one of the boys replied "The other football right?"

"Yeah. Soccer, International Football, whatever the hell you want to call it today."

The first one replied back. "So, this is our team? I think I was flicking around on the TV and saw one of your games. It's the World Cup huh?"

"Yep. World Cup 15."

"Have we won a game yet?"

"We just won the last game, first one of the tourney. Lost three others, tied the fifth."

"Yeah, well. Soccer isn't all that popular here. So getting one win can't be that bad."

"We try. Obviously it's tough when some of these other countries are powerhouses in international football. They murder over this game."

They just stand around watching a little scrimmage going on.

Raptors Clawed down by Slaves

Raptor Claw went into their match against Audioslavia sitting top of the table for the first time in their history. However, The Slaves would capitalize on all of their chances, taking a 2-0 lead into first half stoppage time where a third, killer goal, was added.

The Raptors worked hard in the second half to get back into the game, but could not work the final third guarded by a resolute Audioslavian defense. The match would end with Audioslavia taking 3 points from Raptor Claw, the first points the Raptors have dropped in the competition to date.

Group 3 rivals Jeruselem, Commerce Heights and Ineptia also secured all 3 points, with victories over the Isles of Wohlstand (1-0), Creedance Clearwater (4-1) and Sportonia (3-1) Respectively. Leaving each team level on points with Raptor Claw to take up the top 4 spots in the group. Group favorites Audioslavia sitting 4th. In the other Group 3 match, bottom of the Table Boscioto took 3 points from Kipto-Mare, for their first points of the competition, allowing them to leapfrog their opponents, as well as the winless Sportonia into 8th spot.




....Raptor Claw's Group

[code:1:ad7451e3ab]
Group 3
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Jeruselem 5 4 0 1 13 5 8 12 51
2 Commerce Heights 5 4 0 1 10 2 8 12 51
* 3 Raptor Claw 5 4 0 1 12 5 7 12 51 *
4 Ineptia 5 4 0 1 10 7 3 12 51
5 Audioslavia 5 3 0 2 5 2 3 9 48
6 Creedence Clearwater 5 2 1 2 9 9 0 7 46
7 Isles of Wohlstand 5 2 0 3 6 6 0 6 45
8 Boscioto 5 1 0 4 6 15 -9 3 42
9 Kipto-Mare 5 0 1 4 3 12 -9 1 40
10Sportonia 5 0 0 5 4 15 -11 0 39
[/code:1:ad7451e3ab]

Squornshelous Kicks a Bottom Feeder
Squornshelous recorded a 3-0 win over Progressive Beans, who are still without a point, placing them in what is essentially a tie for second place in Group 6. Giant Zucchini managed to stay a hair ahead by virtue of more goals scored. A rowdy crowd in the streets chanting "We're Back!" following the game had to be broken up by police. Forward Tobias Jones commented, "Everyone's expecting us to roll over and die after last cup's performance, but we're here to kick some ass."

The scoring started in the 6th minute, when Jones pulled an amazing series of moves that left his marker lying on his stomach watching Jones dribble in close on the keeper. He sent the ball flying at an impossible speed into the top right corner of the net.

Jones quick feet proved instrumental on the following goal as well, when he cut quickly to the outside and raced his man down the sideline. as he reached the corner, he fired a cross without slowing for an instant. The keeper managed to get one fist on the ball, but Victor Grigoriev was waiting at the top of the box and fired it in for a 28th minute score.

The Pschychoes put on a stranglehold in the 65th minute, when Xavier Keiths attempeted to pass to Jones, who was standing just inside the box. An instant before the ball arrived (defender) attemped a tackle on Jones knocking him over. The whistle sounded with the end result being a yellow card to (defender) and a penalty shot to Jones. As he set up for the shot, Jones could be seen mouthing the words, "Stop this, bitch!" He fired to the top right corner again, leaving the keeper falling to the wrong side.

Scoring Summary:
S: Jones (6)
S: Grigoriev (28]
S: Jones (P) (65)

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Jones: 5
Keiths: 2
Grigoriev: 2
Franks: 2

Melmond Can’t Get No Satisfaction
And They Try, And They Try, And They Try Try Try Try Try Try…
By Henry Kalangalangalang of the Melmond City Herald

MELMOND CITY, MELMOND—The expectations were very high in this match. This match was expected by many to be the Melmond National Team’s breakout game into World Cup Qualifying contender. Melmond has won their first three matches playing poorly over three newbies. Their best performance was actually in a losing effort to Brazillico 2-1 in Brazillico. Now Melmond has the momentum of their good performance and being in front of at least 90,000 of their own countrymen, women, and genderqueers. Their opponent is a key opponent as it is one of the three main competitors for the qualifying spots, Europa Brittania. Experts predicted that this would be the best chance for Melmond to win a match against the top three as Europa Brittania is a team which is on a slow decline and Melmond has its home advantage. Let’s start it up!
The Melmond Bowl was sold out and frenzied with very confident fans behind the Fearless Farmers. It was an absolutely beautiful night for football. The offences of both sides really started it up, but the defences for both sides seemed jammed in neutral. The ball really went from end to end rather quickly in the fast and furious match. It was evident that this will not be a match of physicality, but of speed, fitness, and cleverness.
At the 23rd minute, possession constantly fluctuated but there was no breakthrough yet until a sudden speed burst by Europa Brittania striker Gareth Higgins took the Melmond defence by surprise. All that was left between Higgins and a goal was Melmond’s highly-touted goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm. Xtfuinxm was gearing up for a long and far shot into the high opposite corner of the net, but Higgins takes him by surprise by just merely lobbing the ball over Xtfuinxm as he dived toward Higgins. The ball sails into the net. Higgins’ goal puts Europa Brittania up 1-nil.
Around the 40th minute, Melmond was making their best yet attack on the Europa Brittania goal. Melmond midfielder Cristina Antunez makes an aware pass to an open Benjamin Leeb. The Melmond striker made a cross to his striking teammate Naol Keelafin. Keelafin gets the header but Europa Brittania goalkeeper Foster Richards was able to deflect it. It went into an open area of the pitch. The two nearest players to the ball were Melmond midfielder Camui Arai and the Europa Brittania goalkeeper himself. Arai ran to the ball before the goalkeeper could recover from his dive and put it in the net. Camui Arai scores the equaliser and puts the match to 1-1. The half would end at this score.
At halftime, each side made its adjustments to the frantic pace of the match. Melmond made one substitution on the defensive front. Speedier defender and dangerous long ball kicker Kestrel Bluesummers came into the match in place of Scott Cheney. The extra added speed couldn’t do much to stop the next Europa Brittania goal. Bluesummers kicked the Fearless Farmers out of trouble after an inspired Europa Brittania attack. She thought so anyway. Europa Brittania midfielder Henri Juspior headed the ball back to striker Gareth Higgins. Higgins in turn passes the ball to midfielder Nikolas Kiwitz. Kiwitz runs toward the goal as if he was going to make the striking attempt, but seeing that the Melmond defence missed marking Gareth Higgins, Kiwitz makes a hard kick to the doorstep where Higgins heads the ball into the net. Europa Brittania takes the 2-1 lead at the 59th minute.
Melmond returned the favor in seven minutes with their pique of creativity on the pitch. Cristina Antunez makes a cross which is headed on by midfielder Critandi Unne to striker Naol Keelafin. Keelafin makes a pursuit as if he was going to strike the ball in himself, but instead makes a back heel to Benjamin Leeb who completely takes the Europa Brittanian goalkeeper by surprise and puts the ball into the net. Melmond has another equaliser at the 66th minute to make the score knotted up at 2.
After that goal, both sides have very different game plans. Melmond appeared to harmonize and pace themselves while Europa Brittania uncharacteristically put all they could in the next ten minutes to hopefully catch the Fearless Farmers off guard. They did just that as Europa Brittania stormed the net leaving themselves vulnerable to a counterattack. However, the pressure was too much as Snhp Xtfuinxm deflected the first two shots away but couldn’t stop the third which was made by Gareth Higgins. Higgins hangs is hat on the highly-fancied Xtfuinxm as Europa Brittania takes the lead 3-2 at the 76th minute.
Melmond really dominated the last part of the game as their offence was really putting the heat on. However, as most of the Europa Brittanian players were running out of gas, goalkeeper Foster Richards still had the energy and the sticky fingers to stop all of Melmond’s shots until the final whistle was blown. Europa Brittania wins the match in a heartbreaker 3-2.
After the match, striker Naol Keelafin had this to say, “I was just a shot away, just a shot away!” After I was doing this and signing that because I am the most famous sportswriter in this nation, and I am trying to get Nina Steen who told me, “Baby, better come back next ‘cause you see we’re on a losing streak.” I can’t blame her. They need to mentally prepare for the colossal match against NEWI Cefn Druids.

Goals
Higgins, EBR 23rd
Arai, MEL 40th
Higgins, EBR 59th
Leeb, MEL 66th
Higgins, EBR 76th

Cards
None

Standings

Other Group 10 Results
NEWI Cefn Druids 4 – Everybody Dies 0
Intelligent Madness 0 – Brazillico 2
Turnia 3 – The Home Islands 2
Lykaia 4 – Coruna 0

[code:1:46d0c79ce3]Group 10
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. NEWI Cefn Druids 13 4 1 0 12:2 10
2. Europa Brittania 12 4 0 1 14:6 8
3. Turnia 12 4 0 1 11:6 5
4. Brazillico 10 3 1 1 9:5 4
5. Melmond 9 3 0 2 10:7 3
6. Intelligent Madness 7 2 1 2 10:9 1
7. Lykaia 6 2 0 3 9:7 2
8. The Home Islands 3 1 0 4 7:13 -6
9. Coruna 1 0 1 4 4:14 -10
10. Everybody Dies 0 0 0 5 1:18 -17[/code:1:46d0c79ce3]

Melmond Team Stats
Goals: Critandi Unne (3), Mornakh the Bloody Handed (3), Camui Arai (2), Naol Keelafin (1), Benjamin Leeb (1)
Cards: Trav Strachan (1), Scott Cheney (1)

Melmond National Team Schedule

v Lykaia (MPNK Stadium, Faasen) W 2-1
@ Coruna W 4-1
v The Home Islands (Lifedonations Stadium, Morales) W 1-0
@ Brazillico L 2-1
v Europa Brittania (Melmond Bowl, Melmond City) L 3-2
@ NEWI Cefn Druids
v Everybody Dies (MelAir Park, Lee)
v Intelligent Madness (Frankndottir Stadium, Acosta)
@ Turnia
@ Lykaia
v Coruna (White Bread Dome, Suburbia)
@ The Home Islands
v Brazillico (Microcosm Football Colossuseum, Aldi)
@ Europa Brittania
v NEWI Cefn Druids (Feliz-Unne Stadium, Unne)
@ Everybody Dies
@ Intelligent Madness
v Turnia (Makinshakes Stadium, O’Connor)

Next Game
at NEWI Cefn Druids

This is an extremely critical matchup for the Fearless Farmers. It wouldn’t be stretch to call this one a must win. The Melmond National Side would love to get revenge for that humiliating 3-nil thrashing at the hands of the nation that invented losing at the Cup of Harmony. The original plan was to start feisty young defender Trav Strachan to guard Druid star Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po, but Strachan is still serving a red card suspension. On the good news side, both Mornakh the Bloody Handed and Chris Owen are healthy and will start in this very important match.

GK- Snhp Xtfuinxm
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Sergio Ortiz
D- Scott Cheney
D- Nina Steen
M- Martin Goodwin
M- Critandi Unne
M- Camui Arai
M- Cristina Antunez
F- Chris Owen
F- Mornakh the Bloody Handed

For tickets to NEWI Cefn Druids and the match, call the Therewegoes Travel Agency at 3-18-357-9009. The people there are a magical and goofy sort, but trust me that is a good thing. Make sure you fly out to Atlantian Oceania instead of the Axis of Absurdity however now as they recently have moved.

Turori (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=turori) 2 - 2 TripB (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=tripb)



As with the previous 3 matches, Turori (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=turori) were on the receiving end of some particularly physical treatment from their opponents, Cuolia Tuirma and Jualiar Vumaou each requiring treatment for off the ball first half incidents. Although missed by the referee, both players appeared to be hit by opponents, Vumaou left with a cut above his eye in an opening half that threatened to spill out of control following two mass flare ups between the sides and four bookings for Trips players.

TripB had already taken the lead after little more than a minute when Ivanna Fly danced unopposed to the byline on the left before swinging in a cross which found top scorer Vaca Tion totally unmarked at the far post to bury a header beyond Milauo Slietah.Although Maritus Banda, the 36 year old brother of Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) U-21 World Cup Hero Callum Banda, who qualfies due to the pairs Grandmother, diverted a header goalwards, Vumaou crashed a long range effort wide and turned a tame low effort in on goal to be claimed by the keeper, there was little response from the home side, who were finding their attempts to play football disrupted by the Trips uncompromising approach.

The Eels were incensed with some of their treatment at the hands of the TripB players, and at one point the match broke down into a flare up on the sidelines that required the intervention of both managers and officials. Skipper Boaibou Houabou was an unhappy casualty of the indisciplined opening period after being withdrawn before half-time having been on the receiving end of several crunching Trips tackles in the rough and tumble exchanges, Sinoabno Linoaib on in his place.

Stung by their interval teamtalk, subdued Turori (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=turori) finally battled back into the match after the break following the introduction of substitute Kaboafo Iobabao for the inneffective Vumaou, Tuirma breaking forward to win several corners, Banda heading one just wide.Moiba Linaian strode upfield to beat several players and force a spectacular save by the TripB keeper with a 30 yard effort that appeared destined for the top right hand corner, but the visitors finally got back on level terms from the penalty spot. It was Linoaib who was adjudged to have been fouled after being tugged back by Ona-Holi Day as he sprinted clear into the area from the left, Makaus Likao stepping up to confidently steer the spot kick left of the keeper to the delight of the massed ranks of fans behind the goal. Turori (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=turori) pushed on to find what would be a crucial winning goal, and that - or so they thought - duly arrived inside ten minutes with the match entering its closing stages.

A mix up allowed Banda to steal in behind the TripB defence, and with the Keeper off his line the striker met Marlian Hunial's long ball forward with a first time header that looped over the TripB keeper and nestled in the far corner.

But excitement that Turori (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=turori) would go on to emerge from the bruising encounter with a vital win was dashed eight minutes from time as Journ Eysouth outstripped his marker on the right before sending in a deep cross which Tion again met at the far post to bundle home. The Turori (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=turori) Eels, in the end, had to settle for just a hard fought point.


[code:1:5306de379e]STARTING LINEUP:
#88 - Milauo Slietah [GK]

#92 - Kiatin Likao [D]
#23 - Moiba Linaian [D]
#25 - Linoai Niabula [D]
#74 - Marlian Hunial [D]

#42 - Makaus Likao [M]
#12 - Yabaiy Tbaiao [M]
#79 - Boaibou Houabou [M]
#89 - Cuolia Tuirma [M]

#29 - Jualiar Vumaou [F]
#36 - Maritus Banda [F] {CAPT}
[/code:1:5306de379e]

(another shameless play off Lemmy's story line. Originality? We're all out here.)

An ethereal hymn plays and is sharply interrupted by a chorus of "Gil 'as died, etcetera" which in turn gives way to "I'm forever blowing Crocodiles" by the West Ham Hookers Choir.

Announcer: Welcome to Faith-Off! Our guests tonight are Martina Gravelbottom, of the Church of St. Peter's Naughty Bits (Roman-Batholic) and Putt-Putt Zither, of the 24-Hour Church of Gil.

Martina: Hello.

Putt-putt: A pleasure to be here, heretic.

Martina: Now, now, none of that. We're here to talk about football. Now, football is not a religion in this-

Putt-putt: Yes it is. Of sorts.

Martina: Let's call it a passion.

Putt-putt: Hey, my religion's central prophecy came true. Don't tell me what to do. You're not the boss of me.

Martina: Your religion's central prophecy?

Putt-putt: Yeah. Gil has died, Gil is risen, Gil will come again to collect his endorsement cheque.

Martina: That's not a prophecy, it's a pop song from 12,000 years ago.

Putt-putt: He's still risen, though. So sucks to you.

Martina: How's the revenue stream since Gil returned, by the way?

Putt-putt: Why you .... OK, donations are down. We have some revenue enhancement ideas though.

Martina: Yeah, i listened to that broadcast. What a laugh. The Gil Lemson Beatification Control Authority, what a huge, monstrous joke. What appallingly bad taste.

Putt-putt: Don't speak disrespectfully of the GLeBColA.

Martina: I mean, how can you saint a third-rate hack?

Putt-putt: Use a fish.

Martina: What?

Putt-putt: It's an old Eugene Ionescu line.

Martina: No it's not. Random words strung together isn't clever, you know. Well, unless you're in the Church of Non Sequitur Cheese Doodle.

Putt-putt: Agnostic Tree Llama.

Martina: Ooh, i'm going to give you such a baptism when this show is over.

Putt-putt: Nah, it's the official animal of The Republican Army.

Martina: The Republican Army?

Putt-putt: Yeah.

Martina: The Republican Army that plays football?

Putt-putt: The same.

Martina: So we're talking about football again?

Putt-putt: For the first time, i think. Yeah, The Republican Army is an underwater country where all matches are played wearing scuba gear. The players are all aquatic acquamarine armadillos who have to surface every 7.43 minutes for air, and they turn mauve the more their oxygen supply is depleted. And the fans are all a bit nauseous, because all you can get to eat at the home matches is haggis-on-a-stick lioghtly toasted and sprinkled with pit bull droppings. The Republican Armadillos have been winning a lot of matches. But Tanah Burung whipped them at the Under-Sea Smiling Clam Dome, 3-2. I think it's because the Crocs all drunk lots of Gleb Cola before the match. Yeah, watery wonderful Gleb Cola! Available now for the low low price of 25 loonies, an exclusive offer of the 24-Hour Church of Gil!

Martina: You're drunk.

Putt-putt: Being drunk is a sacrament.

(Suddenly the radio signal is jammed. After some static, a band plays, on bagpipe and mouth organ, a Gillist song to the "tune" -- if you can call it that -- of the British national anthem:

God save our noble Gil
He climbed right up a hill
And took a pill
He should be sanctified!
On this we won't be denied
Gil's almost never lied
'Cept when 'e 'as.

I’m here with Miner Willy, 80s superstar. How do you feel you are doing as Manager of the Insanicians?

Well we started off with an easy 3-0 victory over a nobody. It was pretty easy, but then we entered a run of matches against the top teams. Spaam came to the Insane Dome and played their usual dirty game. Mario was injured in the match and the game ended 0-0. Then we went to Liverpool England and ground out another 0-0 draw. Thankfully we managed to score in the next match at home to The Weegies. Lara scored 2, with Sonic getting the third. At the other end things weren’t going so well as Knuckles let in 3 goals in the space of 15 minutes. Stalag 5 were a much easier team to beat, unable to keep up with Sonic who grabbed a hat trick.

NASTIC 2 are up next, what are your plans going into this game?

To not draw.

Some people say the side is a little heavy with computer game characters. How do you respond to this favouritism?

No comment, that’s the end of this interview.

HAHA! The Evil Umpire crushed those Jaodom maggots 4-1. That is what they get for almost destroying our computer system with that Jaobot virus. MWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

We are in some dark region of Pedriana somewhere in deepest FIFA. A very unhappy man is seated on a rock. We can see the coast of the region about a mile off in the distance.

Man: *sigh* Why me? After all I've done for my country...I volunteered to be a part of Bedistan's first ever World Cup squad. I played football, both domestic and international, for over twenty years. After I retired, I became a football commentator and continued to serve the sports fanatics of my country. And now here I am in the middle of ****ing NOWHERE, exiled from my homeland by the frickin' FA! There is no justice in this world, not a bit.

Suddenly we see a boat in the distance. Zooming in on it (pretend we're looking through a video camera instead of regular eyes...I know it makes no sense, but bear with me here), we see that the boat flies a blue flag with a white cross and four white snakes on it.

Man: I've gotta get to that boat! It's my only way out of here, and I'm sure as hell not staying in this forsaken land!

The man runs frantically toward the coastline, where interestingly the boat seems to be waiting for him.

Man: Can you help me?

Officer: Are you Chuck Mitchell of Bedistan?

Man: Why, yes, actually I am.

Officer: Perfect! You're exactly who we're looking for! Come with us; we have a deal for you.

Mitchell: Well, what do I have to lose?

The boat, with Mitchell aboard, begins to sail off into the distance, heading in the direction of Halfassedstates.

[OOC: Since tonight is the last night I have to RP, I figured I'd go ahead and get the thing rolling. Feel free to proceed as you wish from here.]

-------------------

EFSB Today - Sports - Football

The Bedistan Lions faced the Turori national team today at Holmes Stadium in Columbia -- not their standard home venue, but rather a substitute venue for the mostly-destroyed James Parker National Stadium. All players had returned to the Bedistani lineup, and they were reportedly more than ready to face Turori. The first half was very uneventful, though Nathan Cooke did succeed in putting his Lions ahead on a free kick in the 32nd. The second half started with a change in momentum as Maritus Banda got two quick goals past Bedistan goalkeeper Terry Delk to give Turori a 2-1 lead. However, Kiatin Likao's tripping of Cooke in the box midway through the half resulted in a penalty kick that Karen Neighbors successfully converted to tie it up again at two. Cooke would blast in another shot shortly before full time to give the Lions their 3-2 win and the full three points from the match.

The next match is away at Foggymushmush.

Final score:
Bedistan 3 [Cooke 32, 86; Neighbors pen 68]
Turori 2 [Banda 52, 60]

[OOC: Not the best RP, but I'm rather low on time tonight. So long, everybody, and I'll try to keep checking in over the summer.]

Turnia City Tribune

Associated Press Late Edition

World Cup XV Qualifiers Report

Turnia 3 The Home Islands 2

Matchday 5 saw the Dragons take on The Home Islands. The coaching staff admited they didn't know quite what to expect before the game. As can happen, THI made a game of it, keeping the Dragons on their toes till the end, a 3-2 win for the Turnian national team.

The Dragons have eased themselves into the upper echelon of Group 10, however, soon will come games against the top brass: 2 each with Brazillico, Melmond, NEWI, Europa and a rematch with Intelligent Madness.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Matchday 6 Report

Brazillico 2 Turnia 0

Brazillico entered qualifiers as the top seed and the expected runaway first place finisher. Today's game was very important for both teams, a win for Turnia would have put much needed distance between them and Brazillico, or a Brazillico win would leap frog the Dragons into 3rd place. After all was said and done, Brazillico blanked the Dragons 0-2 with a masterful defensive display.

"Brazillico is as tough as they come. I could have sworn it was 11 on 15 out there" chuckled head coach Paul Odle. "But seriously, I will admit I was praying for a draw when it was still 1 to nil. But after they scored that second goal... well, they way they were playing, a draw was pretty much out the window."

Things do not get any easier as Europa Brittania is up next, as the Dragons enter a very tough stretch of games.

AP

For Sarah Sayalle, Deus ex Machina of KT MPLG, and incidentally second cousin to the backup defender Carter Sayalle, it had not been a good week. The fundamentalist Selians had been inciting riots, there were still the repercussions of clamping down on Miraware and Sophie Daimon, and crime was on the rise. So when her domestic affairs advisor came in with good news, she didn't expect much.

"Josh, what is it? I've got a meeting with an ambassador, some overweight martial arts guru, then I'm to make a statement on religious matters...like they would listen to a Buddhist who calls herself LN YVKR. So, the good news is?"
"Ummm...the national team beat Resistencia 3-2. Being our first win and all..."
"Well, they finally decided to get with the program and put Wellenburg in the goal?"
"Ishida. And the goals were by Svensson, Martin, and Seichi."
"Fuck. Without Wellenburg in the net, we're not getting anywhere near the top five. Any news from NW or DC about it?"
"Onover's digging hard. We don't know why, because her forte is, you know, serious news."
"She smells blood. A big scandal in the national team could have really bad repercussions. But she's a Unity member through and through. I think we can count on her to do the right thing."
"Now, about the ambassador..."

KT MPLG 3 (Svensson 17, Martin 51, Seichi 73)
Resistencia 2 (Unknown 38, Some Other Guy 79)

And besides that, the Lions were missing no fewer than seven of their starting players due to food poisoning, so they were severely handicapped to begin with.

Heh heh, guess why.

I refuse to RP a draw! =P

Referees Name: Landon Jacobs
Description: Harsh
Experience: LE Leagues since WC11Q season

Gesamtkuntswerk - Tadjikistan 5-0

Disaster strikes Tadjik team

Gesamtkuntswerk - When the plane landed in the late afternoon, with the plane delayed for 4 hours due to a tecnical failure, several players decided to have lunch in a local restaurant. They all enjoyed their meal and left the restaurant 2 hours later. They then decided to go to their hotels and recuperate from their bad day. When they got up the next it appeared some of the players were sick. According to the teams doctor, Dr Atkins, this was caused by eating unknown foreign food. So 8 men couldnt play; Alainikov, Demianenko, Gromov, Pliiev, Luchinsky, Terekhin, Zhukov and Cherniakhovskij. So the three star players of the team were out of action, and the same went for Gromov and Terekhin who would finally return to the team after 2 matches of suspension, why did they have to celebrate their return?

Coach triandafillov now had to set up a new team with the players available, Yashin remained in the goal, Babadzhanian, Kravchenko and Managarov strenghtened the defense, Bagramian, Voronov and danilov replaced the sick players in midfield while Rokossovskij and Yudenich played the match in forward positions.

The result was not very good, several of these players lacked experience. Tadjikistan fought bravely and defended their goal, Yashin made several good saves but to no avail. They lost 5-0. Sad or sick the Tadjik team returned home with a serious headache. And that was certainly true for Triandafillov. He wanted to make this a match noone would forget:'Its a disaster, thats what it is! caused by food! We are lucky that Dennisov and Lovebug drew to eachother or we'd be in a really bad position. We must win against Dennisov, i cant say that enough!' The TNFF president, Mr Frunze said Triandafillov was no to blamed saying: 'Triandafillov is not to be blamed'

Team doctor mr. Atkins shared some rather positive news for the future with us; 'All the players who got sick are recovering fast, they will have enough time to get some training, before the next match. And this time it will be played in Dushanbe so foreign food cant strike them again' (What if they brought it along, doctor? ed.) We will cross our fingers for the next match of the national team and hope to see them take revenge for the losses we suffered in WC14Q.



[code:1:13e572a7b3]
Group 2
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Gesamtkuntswerk 6 5 1 0 16 6 10 16 52
2 Tadjikistan 6 4 1 1 13 6 7 13 49
3 Dennisov 6 3 2 1 8 3 5 11 47
4 Oglethorpia 6 3 1 2 9 6 3 10 46
5 Lovebug 6 3 1 2 11 9 2 10 46
6 Krytenia 6 3 1 2 10 9 1 10 46
7 Larkinia 6 3 0 3 13 11 2 9 45
8 Rampagonia 6 1 1 4 4 11 -7 4 40
9 Artoonia 6 1 0 5 4 15 -11 3 39
10 Slaikau 6 0 0 6 4 16 -12 0 36
[/code:1:13e572a7b3]

MD1:Tadjikistan - Larkinia W 4-0
MD2:Krytenia - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD3:Tadjikistan - Slaikau W 3-0
MD4:Artoonia - Tadjikistan W 0-3
MD5:Tadjikistan - Oglethorpia T 1-1
MD6:Gesamtkuntswerk - Tadjikistan L 5-0
MD7:Tadjikistan - Dennisov
MD8:Lovebug - Tadjikistan
MD9:Tadjikistan - Rampagoonia
MD10:Larkinia - Tadjikistan
MD11:Tadjikistan - Krytenia
MD12:Slaikau - Tadjikistan
MD13:Tadjikistan - Artoonia
MD14:Oglethorpia - Tadjikistan
MD15:Tadjikistan - Gesamtkuntswerk
MD16:Dennisov - Tadjikistan
MD17:Tadjikistan - Lovebug
MD18:Rampagoonia - Tadjikistan

ASNN - Two Wins and a Tie Kepp Stars On Top

GRAHAM CITY - The crowd was silent as the clock ticked down, The One Red Dot forwards tried to press, but the rock-solid defense of Stars held in the last minute pushes made by The Dots, and has the final whistle blew, the crowd was in shock as the Stars had just defeated their only threat to qualification. The game opened with much anticipation, as this would be the single most difficult game aside from the Bedistani match in Bedistan. The first half was a tight game played mostly in the midfield as both defenses held rock solid, but about midway through the second half, that changed. A Dot forward pushed past most of the Stars defense, and pounded a ball into the box. It appeared as if it was a mere clearing attempt, but another forward pushed with amazing speed and tapped the ball with a slide kick away from Greg Devore, and into the net. With only fifteen minutes remaining, the Stars where in deep. Jeremy and McKeehna quickly pushed into Dot territory unleashed a hail of twenty shots, all near misses or saves. With only 3 minutes left in the game, a Red Dot player fouled McKeehan in the box. It was all silent as McKeehna lined up to take the kick. It found it's way past the keepers outstretched hands, tieing it up with only a few minutes remaining.

The Stars continued to press on, and just into extra time, Jeremy pounded one from just outside the box, and the shot bounded of the keepers hands and right into the waiting trap of Pavel Julios who let a shot go behind the sprawling goaltender. The crowd froze as the ball sailed past two diving full backs and into the goal. Stars victory.

TLC Stars 2 - 1 One Red Dot
McKeehan (87th, PK, no Assist)
Julios (91st, Jeremy Assist)

Sorry, no RPs today for the other two matches...
TLC Stars 2 - 2 Ktony
Preston (34th, PK, no Assist)
Asten (56th, Rose Assist)

TLC Stars 2 - 0 Aquilla
McKeehan (4th, Julios Assist)
Blackwing (10th, No Assist)

Queldas Hikari - Rul Isio Nesuntel A Seserim

Pandas Back And Dominating
Stringing together victories in Group 5
by Markenin Markenel

KAZE PROGRESSA(NP) - Expectations for the Pandas for World Cup XV were quite low, by Nikean standards at least. With a group full of solid sides like Tanah Burung, Halfassedstates, and Kaze Progressa, only a few die-hard fans and a small selection of football writers picked the Pandas to come out of this group. Having not participated in qualifying for World Cup XIV, the Pandas' first match in 7 years, coming against a lowly Halperd side, filled up the Solarin Stadium in western Queldas. The noisy fans were treated to a less-than-perfect match, but Seserin Serenitel's 53rd minute goal gave Nikea the win, and all were excited that things might not be as bad as originally thought.

Now fast foward to three matches later. After an away 2-1 win in Sprotbot over their 200th ranked team, and a goal-filled 4-2 victory over a 200th ranked Daekerius side that benefitted from two errors in the Nikean backfield, the real tests were about to come. Nikea would have two away matches to the 4th ranked Crocs of Tanah Burung, and the 28th ranked Progressans of Kaze. Sandwiched in between these two tests was an equally difficult task of holding the Halfassed effort of the 16th ranked side in the competition at home in Queldas. Many felt that the luck of the Pandas would run out.

Remarkably, the opposite proved to be the case. The Pandas came out flying against the Crocs, keeping the pressure on throughout the match, earning a 2-0 victory. This major accomplishment got even better, as they defeated Halfassedstates 2-1 at home. The trip to Kaze Progressa also proved fruitful, winning 2-0 in hostile territory. Now many are wondering just how far the Pandas can take it. With a group with such tight competition, many Nikean fans and experts alike feel that 12 wins should be more than enough to carry a team into qualification. The Pandas already have 6, and their remaining opponents are minnow Qia, below 100 Lallania, and another surprising team, The Republican States, who have also been impressing during qualifying. The Pandas should get results against Qia and Lallania, putting them in good shape for the second half of the qualification process.

Fans in Miserias can catch the next qualifying match, against Qia, at the Aseri Stadium. Very few tickets are still available.

[code:1:a6297a7654]
Nikea 1 (Serenitel 53)
v.
Halperd 0
[/code:1:a6297a7654]

[code:1:a6297a7654]
Sprotbot 1 (<player> 43)
v.
Nikea 2 (Torendel 22, Edhel 67)
[/code:1:a6297a7654]

[code:1:a6297a7654]
Nikea 4 (Torendel 13, Kitase 38, 54, Quesentel 67)
v.
Daekerius 2 (<player> 74, <player> 82)
[/code:1:a6297a7654]

[code:1:a6297a7654]
Tanah Burung 0
v.
Nikea 2 (Kitase 34, Serenitel 62)
[/code:1:a6297a7654]

[code:1:a6297a7654]
Halfassedstates 1 (<player> 15)
v.
Nikea 2 (Arkenitel 55, Aseniuene 76)
[/code:1:a6297a7654]

[code:1:a6297a7654]
Kaze Progressa 0
v.
Nikea 2 (Kitase 74, Keseteretel 83)
[/code:1:a6297a7654]

Sturms rout Tadjikistan, lead Group 2

In what may have been the most anticipated matchday of the qualifying round for Group 2, frontrunners Gesamtkuntswerk and Tadjikistan faced off to settle the score and to define a clear group leader. By the end of the game, though, there was no doubt which team was superior, as the Sturms overwhelmed Tadjikistan with a 5-0 victory.

(OOC: I'm exhausted... I'll RP this through later in this post, but I can keep from my bed no longer.)

Raptors Claw back up the table

Raptor Claw went into their match in Commerce Heights sitting level on points with group leaders Jeruselem, third on goal differential. Commerce Heights started out a strong home side, and were rewarded before the half with Heights going 1-0 up into the break. However, what they went into the locker room with never returned, as Raptor Claw dominated the second half of play. The Resolute Commerce Heights defense held out until midway throught the second half when the Raptors broke free and levelled the scores in the important top of the table clash. As the game wound down, both teams seemed content with the draw, and thats how the match would finish, 1-1.


Due to results among the other top teams in the group, Commerce Heights and Raptor Claw were able to maintain themselves 1-2 in the group, level on points, with Heights having 1 goal superior goal differential over the raptors. Former leaders Jeruselem surprisingly dropped a 1-0 decision against Creedence Clearwater. In an important match, surprise front runners Ineptia were downed 3-0 by Audioslavia, an identical scorline to that which knocked Raptor Claw off the top of the table and off their ubeaten run just last matchday. Bottom of the table Clashes saw the isles of Wohlstand beat Boscioto 4-2, while Sportonia and Kipto-Mare battled to a 3-all draw.


....Raptor Claw's Group

[code:1:8f5b288cdb]
Group 3
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Commerce Heights 6 4 1 1 11 3 8 13 49
* 2 Raptor Claw 6 4 1 1 13 6 7 13 49 *
3 Jeruselem 6 4 0 2 13 6 7 12 48
4 Audioslavia 6 4 0 2 8 2 6 12 48
5 Ineptia 6 4 0 2 10 11 -1 12 48
6 Creedence Clearwater 6 3 1 2 10 9 1 10 46
7 Isles of Wohlstand 6 3 0 3 10 8 2 9 45
8 Boscioto 6 1 0 5 8 19 -11 3 39
9 Kipto-Mare 6 0 2 4 6 15 -9 2 38
10 Sportonia 6 0 1 5 8 18 -10 1 37
[/code:1:8f5b288cdb]

Blade stars shining with 5 points.
Smash and grab raid goes somewhat wrong in 1-1 draw

Going to a country you know nothing about is one thing. Playing a game of football against them is quite another. With no footage available to Starblaydia, they had to play it cool.

A Rigid 4-4-2 didn't help them to begin with, so they switched to the diamond midfield. They might has well have tried a ruby and amethyst midfield, for all that helped. 4-5-1? No. 4-1-4-1? No. 4-3-2-1? No. And so it went on with Starblaydia changing formation every ten minutes in an effort to find something that would break down the Empire's defences.

Eventually, using a 2-2-2-2-1-1, Starblaydia scored. Nikola Lazerevski was played on with the merest hint of a possibility of offside and sheperded the ball into the inviting net.

All that was well and good, until they decided to switch their winning formula and play a 5-2-1-1-0-1, which heartily confused everyone, including right-midfielder David Benson, who somehow ended up with the gloves between the sticks.

With number-one goalkeeper Boaz Myhill playing at Sweeper, all it took was one young enterprising Empire player to walk through the middle of defence and put the ball past the helpless Benson to equalise with the cliched last kick of the game.

Final Score:
The East Asian Empire 1 - 1 Starblaydia
(Wan Hung Lo 90) (Lazerevski 88)

A late collapse in the Progressair Stadium saw Kaze Progressa collapse to a 2-0 defeat at home to Nikea.

In a first half of few chances, Batie Bolidae-Baek's powerful header flying just wide of the far post was the closest either side got to breaking the deadlock, while at the other end Keseteretel forced two good saves from Huqi Entolibo.

The second half was more open, and the Progressans should have opened the scoring on the hour when Mowgi Taunilai's dizzying run to the corner flag produced a cross which found the barely marked Bolidae-Baek, who somehow headed against the top of the bar. Bolidae-Baek almost made amends six minutes later with a thunderous 30-yard free-kick, but that too slammed against the woodwork.

On 74 minutes, those missed chances came back to haunt the home side, as Keseteretel's defence-splitting through ball left Kitase one-on-one with Entolibo, a situation in which he made no mistake. Nine minutes later, it was Keseteretel who sealed the match, scrambling home from Torendel's bouncing ball into the box.

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST - DOUBLE HEADER

The Joy Of Six

TWO wins out of two for the Celestials, as they rise to sixth in Group Two.
Against Slaikau, a 25th minute Ulvæus penalty was enough to take the points, despite some fierce resistance.
Meanwhile, Artonia were weighed, measured, and found wanting - Krytenia were 3-1 up before half time, added a fourth later in the second half, and only a <DF6> goal saved some pride for the Artoonians.
WCXIV hosts Oglethorpia visit the People's Stadium next, and with only goal difference seperating Krytenia from the fifth-placed Bureaucratic States, it could be a close encounter.

SCORES:
Krytenia................1 (Ulvæus 25 pen)
Slaikau..................0
HT: 1-0

Artoonia................2 (<CF9> 36, <DF6> 82)
Krytenia................4 (Poldov 4, Smith 11 & 73, Lydersen 41)

Top Scorers:
Ari Smith - 4
Colin Ulvæus - 3

Fixtures:
@ Lovebug L 1-2 (Ulvæus)
v Tadjikistan L 0-2
@ Larkinia W 3-2 (Grüber, Smith, Ulvæus)
@ Rampagonia D 1-1 (Smith)
v Slaikau W 1-0 (Ulvæus)
@ Artoonia W 4-2 (Poldov, Smith 2, Lydersen)
v Oglethorpia
@ Gesamtkuntswerk
v Dennisov
v Lovebug
@ Tadjikistan
v Larkinia
v Rampagonia
@ Slaikau
v Artoonia
@ Oglethorpia
v Gesamtkuntswerk
@ Dennisov

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/ao/vn15.gif


Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) 0 - 2 Dance2Revolution
( -none- ) - ( Kenkai 64p, Maeda 82 )



Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) have never won at Dance2Revolution and Helmut Vilkaus' men have failed once again after slipping to a third qualification defeat - following a 2-0 loss in D2R. The result continues Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita)'s miserable run against Group 8 teams, with only the home victory against Svecia to look back at as a positive result.Dance2Revolution's victory was helped in no small part by a controversial penalty decision against veteran Jürgen Ramzi midway through the second half, but after Kenkai had netted from the spot, Maeda wrapped up the win with a late second.In truth, until the intervention of the referee, Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) had been full value for at least a point, but the in-form home side were eventually impressive winners in front of a bumper home crowd, the visitors unable to find any way back from the much debated opener.

Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) went into the fixture with an unchanged line up from that which defeated Svecia at The Shultis 2-0 just two days earlier. Jonathon Baledrokadroka and Lorenzo Mumamba did return on the bench following back and knee injuries, whilst in central defence and central midfield respectively, Enzo Ahat and Alexander Östling were playing to keep their place in the lineup. Sadly for a bumper away following from Atlantian Oceania, Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) could not reproduce their enterprising and encouraging form from the earlier Svecia victory, and were forced to scrap it out in a stop-start encounter. In the Svecia match, keeper Massimo Corsi had protected a two-goal lead with several important saves, and he was at it again early on at Dance2Revolution, claiming a D2R cross bravely with and tipping over a fierce volley.

At the other end Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) went close on the half-hour mark after a typically bright Germán Salomón run had been abruptly curtailed by a defender, Christian Dogbé striking the free kick in on goal, home keeper Dancin Innet reacting brilliantly to tip over.Towards the end of the half both teams saw set pieces rebound clear off opposing defenders, and for Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) a couple of headers threatened the Dance2Revolution goal, but in the end the half-time whistle ended a scrappy first period between two evenly matched sides.

Early on after the interval manager Vilkaus was forced to send on Baledrokadroka after captain Santo Kecker limped off injured, but it just summed up a fixture badly lacking in flowing football, particularly after a succession of interruptions from fussy referee Prosser. A little less than 20 minutes into the half, and that became a critical intervention from the match official following his awarding of a dubious penalty after Ramzi had been ajudged to have impeded a D2R player in the area at a free-kick.

Despite Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita)'s protests, Revolutionary forward Kenkai was on hand to blast the ball past Corsi from the spot, handing the home team a slightly fortuitous one goal lead and sparking celebrations among a bumper local support. But to the visitors credit, they hit back quickly, and Callum Banda was frustrated to see the keeper comfortably claim his header from a well placed Dogbé cross, whilst central defender Giacomo Adika strode forward to force another save with a long range effort.

Dance2Revolution themselves could not be discounted from putting the match beyond reach however, and having scored with a penalty, Kenkai went close this time from a free-kick, Corsi again performing wonders to react well and tip over. Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) were crushed however from the resultant corner, seeing hopes of levelling the match dashed as D2R collected a short corner and swung it over to Maeda at the far post, the Revolutionary man heading it back inside the post for a 2-0 lead.

Lorenzo Mumamba made his first appearance of the season by joining fellow sub Jim Vella on the pitch to add extra attacking impetus, but his lob landed on the roof of the net, and Banda fired over from a free-kick, as Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) crashed to yet another defeat.



------------

D2R maintains Group 8 Post

Dance 2 Revolution has maintained it's spot on top of Group 8 following their victory over the Jungle Cats. Svecia outclassed wella 2-1 to pick up 3 points, while Favorites Lemmitania disposed of Avenging Altos 1-1. Bottom of the table matchups saw The East Asian Empire draw 1-1 with Starblaydia and Bakinhale remained deep at the foot of the table after a 3-1 loss to Grays Harbor.

[code:1:ab261e6978]
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Dance 2 Revolution 6 4 2 0 11 2 9 14 50
2 Lemmitania 6 3 2 1 10 6 4 11 47
3 Wella 6 3 2 1 11 8 3 11 47
4 Svecia 6 3 2 1 8 5 3 11 47
5 Avenging Altos 6 3 1 2 13 10 3 10 46
6 Vilita 6 2 1 3 7 9 -2 7 43
7 Starblaydia 6 1 2 3 7 8 -1 5 41
8 Grays Harbor 6 1 2 3 7 11 -4 5 41
9 The East Asian Empire 6 1 2 3 6 13 -7 5 41
10 Bakinhale 6 1 0 5 6 14 -8 3 39
[/code:1:ab261e6978]


------------

AOCAF::Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) 2 - 1 Xile
( Cairns 17, DuPont 36 ) - ( Minoa 20p )



Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita)n striker Serge DuPont scored his first Regional goal with the winner against Xile, and Elekim Cairns was also on target in a 2-1 win - the best possible start for the Founding Nation in the first AOCAF Atlantian Oceania Regional Championships.

Much had been made recently about DuPont's youth and whether he would be able to perform regularly for the national team - particularly after in-form striker Carmine Mbidzo was called in to the Regional squad for support - but the Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) striker answered his critics by setting up one goal and netting another.

It took just seventeen minutes for DuPont to help the favorites on their way against an insecure Xile side, heading goalwards from Tanner Nerni's right wing corner, Xile keeper Iris Blueleaf making the save, only for Cairns to turn home the rebound at the far post.

The Jungle Cat's early lead lasted barely a minute however as from the restart Metteo Ollirg was harshly ajudged to have impeded Xile frontman Vintage Jackson, Kari Minoa stepping up to sweep a left footed penalty into the bottom corner.

Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) Coach Baron O'Toole had been a more animated than normal figure on the sidelines, clearly not completely happy with his teams approach, and after little more than half an hour captain Nigel Chapman made way for playmaker Sublé Tonic, making his Senior National Debut.

That paid almost immediate dividends, as nine minutes from half-time DuPont stole in to power home a header from Esemar Aliana's right wing cross to put the Jungle Cats back in front - the relief on the strikers face tangible after his recent critiques.

The second half produced no further goals as the favorites stoutly defended their lead, although Tanner Nerni was denied after a strong run past defenders and in on goal, whilst at the death Marasent Sioane teamed with sub Carmine Mbidzo to go close with a curling effort.




Results:
Vilita 2-1 Xile (People's Stadium, Avid-Diord)
NEWI Cefn Druids 3-2 Turori (Green Street, Westleigh)
Crystilakere 2-3 Sarzonia (Atterbrook Way, Elliston)
Nojika 2-2 Krytenia (Tribeca Park, Remires)

[code:1:ab261e6978]

AOCAF GROUP A
Pl F A Pt
NEWI Cefn Druids 1 3 2 3
Vilita 1 2 1 3
Turori 1 2 3 0
Xile 1 1 2 0

AOCAF GROUP B
Pl F A Pt
Sarzonia 1 3 2 3
Krytenia 1 2 2 1
Nojika 1 2 2 1
Crystilakere 1 2 3 0

[/code:1:ab261e6978]


http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/sched.gif
M01:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [2] - [1] Starblaydia - [Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3288802#3288802)] -
M02:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [1] Grays Harbor <- - [Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3288802#3288802)] -
M03:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [2] ???????? - [Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3288802#3288802)] -
M04:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [3] Lemmitania <- [Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3292323#3292323)] -
M05:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [2] - [0] Svecia
M06:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [0] - [2] Dance 2 Revolution <-
M07:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Bakinhale
M08:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Wella
M09:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Avenging Altos <-
M10:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Starblaydia <-
M11:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Grays Harbor
M12:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] ???????? <-
M13:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Lemmitania
M14:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Svecia <-
M15:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Dance 2 Revolution
M16:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Bakinhale <-
M17:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Wella <-
M18:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Avenging Altos[/quote]

Pschychoes Win
Squornshelous defeated EL CID THE HERO 2-1 in matchday 6. Unfortunately, the other teams atop group 6 won or drew as well, leaving our position unchanged.

Scoring Summary:
Sq: Franks (24)
EC: (player) (37)
Sq: Jones (57)

Group 6 Standings after Matchday 6:
[code:1:a45262dd71]
Group 6
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Ascensia 6 4 2 0 18 12 6 14 50
2 Giant Zucchini 6 4 1 1 15 6 9 13 49
3 Squornshelous 6 4 1 1 12 5 7 13 49
4 Snub Nose 38 6 4 1 1 12 8 4 13 49
5 Crystilakere 6 2 2 2 8 9 -1 8 44
6 Balti Pie 6 2 1 3 9 11 -2 7 43
7 Oaker 6 2 1 3 11 15 -4 7 43
8 EL CID THE HERO 6 2 0 4 10 11 -1 6 42
9 Progressive Beans 6 1 0 5 6 15 -9 3 39
10 Rot-Gelb-Grun 6 0 1 5 5 14 -9 1 37
[/code:1:a45262dd71]

Matchday 7 Preview:

Squornshelous will face off against #61 Cristilakere, and has a real chance to move forward in the group, as cup veteran and group favorite Snub Nose 38 plays upstart Ascencia. We expect a win by at least a two goal margin in both cases.

[M03:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [2] ???????? - [Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3288802#3288802)] -



You lost 2 - 1 to The East Asian Empire :)

I Can’t I Can’t I Can’t Stand Losing
Melmond Feels the Sting of a Heartbreaking Loss, Police Breakup Riots
By Leesa Jetsett of the Lee Morning News

MAWR, NEWI CEFN DRUIDS—The Melmond National Team is in the hole in more ways than one. They are figuratively in the hole as they have lost two straight to their main competitors for a World Cup Qualifying bid. Second, The Hole is the name of the home stadium of the NEWI Cefn Druids National Team. It has already said by football pundits that this is a must win game for Melmond as the Fearless Farmers couldn’t afford to lose to all of their main competition.
It was a characteristically dreary day at The Hole, a dank gray sky and a permadrizzle of sorts. That’s just your regular weather in the nation of NEWI Cefn Druids on the northern side of Atlantian Oceania. The security at The Hole was rather tight due to the death of both Melmondians and Druidites from a terrorist attack at the Cup of Harmony at Vilita. Since the terrorist group compiled of Eviscertomato rebels and very big and militant Melmond fans, some angry Druid fans may want to start trouble.
The first part of the first half was a demonstration of the history of Melmond and NEWI Cefn Druids football. NEWI Cefn Druids played like utter shite, making ill-advised and inaccurate passes. They easily lost control of their dribbles and played an absent-minded defence. Their defence was also prone to sloppy challenges and tackles as at the 21st minute NEWI Cefn Druids veteran defender Trevor Kallins made a very careless challenge on Melmond midfielder Cristina Antunez and received a yellow card. Perhaps he thought he was on the pathetic Druid teams of the past at the time.
Could Melmond capitalize from the poor play? Of course not! As usual, the Fearless Farmers were victims of one bad break to another. For example, not one, not two, but three shots which beat the NEWI Cefn Druids keeper hit the goalposts! Also on Melmond’s best scoring chance, the off-side flags were raised even though the Fearless Farmers were clearly on-side. Melmond striker Chris Owen approached the referee from Raptor Claw. The referee let out one big “Rawrrrrrrrrrr!” and that was that about the dispute.
There is to be one breakthrough late in the first half, and it is provided by the man on the Druid side who knows Melmond football, Trevor Belmore. Belmore plays for Cali Purples of the Melmond Premier League and is very familiar with most of the Melmond player’s strengths and weaknesses. He knew that Melmond defender Sergio Ortiz can get overwhelmed if you concentrate the attack toward his way. Belmore lead the attack and make his shot which Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm was able to deflect. However, Belmore immediately obtained the deflection and put the ball in the net. He gives NEWI Cefn Druids a 1-nil lead at the 40th minute.
The offence was awoken at the second half for both sides. Melmond would be the first to strike. After a clear out-of-bounds by a pressured NEWI Cefn Druids defence, Melmond earned a corner kick. Melmond defender Jonsi Torrini as always took the honour of taking the corner kick. He lofts it in the air, and Chris Owen, proving to the world that he is healthy again outleaps everyone and heads the ball into the net. Chris Owen pumps his fists in the air in excitement as he scores the equaliser at the 57th minute, a 1-1 game.
The second Melmond goal wasn’t a pique of excellence of their attack, but a flashback of the past patheticness of the NEWI Cefn Druids football team. After midfielder Camui Arai intercepted a NEWI Cefn Druids defensive clear, he found fellow Melmond midfielder Critandi Unne who then finds Mornakh the Bloody Handed who just kicks hir pass right for the net. NEWI Cefn Druids defender Trevor Phillipson, not realizing that Mornakh the Bloody Handed’s kick was off-target, tried to kick the ball out of bounds. He instead kicked the ball into his own net. The own goal at the 64th minute gives Melmond the 2-1 lead.
The NEWI Cefn Druids will counter with the equaliser, but in very controversial fashion. Trevor Belmore was once again able to get the best of Melmond defender Sergio Ortiz. He got into the goalkeeper’s box ready to striker with only the Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm and defender Scott Cheney in front of him. Cheney makes what appears to be a very solid sliding tackle. Belmore flies toward the pitch. Cheney gets a yellow card on what appeared to be a dive on Belmore’s part. That is his second yellow card of the qualifying campaign which means he will miss the next match. That tricky Belmorian blood shined through as Trevor was hardly hurt, he just busted open a scab he had before. Belmore got a penalty kick and Xtfuinxm guess wrong and the NEWI Cefn Druids tie it up 2-2 at the 71st minute.
Time was winding down and the match looked to be a tie until the bane of the Fearless Farmers faithful continued to haunt their dreams of success. On a NEWI Cefn Druids attack, Trevor Belmore was going for the hat trick and takes a rather hard crack at it. However, Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm was in position to stop it. However, the pesky Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po had the presence of mind redirect the ball in midair with his foot. Gessemschmitthaagen-Po’s deflection went into the net and gave NEWI Cefn Druids the game winner at the 87th minute. However, an angry Melmond fan threw very hot salsa into the eyes of Gessemschmitthaagen-Po, making his eyes burn. The attack on Gessemschmitthaagen-Po gets the attention of the po-po as they made the arrest. As the final whistle sounded, angry Melmond fans started to riot and some liquored up Druid fans started fighting. A football riot broke out and part of the stadium was on fire just like Gessemschmitthaagen-Po’s eyes. Fortunately, both fires were contained as there only needs to be minor repairs at the Hole and Gessemschmitthaagen-Po’s vision is temporarily affected by the hot salsa but he should be at full strength rather shortly.

Goals
Belmore, NCD 40th
Owen, MEL 57th
Phillipson, MEL (OG) 64th
Belmore, NCD 71st
Gessemschmitthaagen-Po, NCD 87th

Cards
Kallins, NCD 21st
Cheney, MEL 71st

Standings

Other Group 10 Results
Everybody Dies 3 – Coruna 2
The Home Islands 0 – Lykaia 2
Brazillico 2 – Turnia 0
Europa Brittania 2 – Intelligent Madness 2

[code:1:5497236764]Group 10
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. NEWI Cefn Druids 16 5 1 0 15:4 11
2. Europa Brittania 13 4 1 1 16:8 8
3. Brazillico 13 4 1 1 11:5 6
4. Turnia 12 4 0 2 11:8 3
5. Lykaia 9 3 0 3 11:7 4
6. Melmond 9 3 0 3 12:10 2
7. Intelligent Madness 8 2 2 2 12:11 1
8. The Home Islands 3 1 0 5 7:15 -8
9. Everybody Dies 3 1 0 5 4:20 -16
10. Coruna 1 0 1 5 6:17 -11[/code:1:5497236764]

Melmond Team Stats
Goals: Critandi Unne (3), Mornakh the Bloody Handed (3), Camui Arai (2), Naol Keelafin (1), Benjamin Leeb (1), Chris Owen (1)
Cards: Scott Cheney (2), Trav Strachan (1)

Melmond National Team Schedule

v Lykaia (MPNK Stadium, Faasen) W 2-1
@ Coruna W 4-1
v The Home Islands (Lifedonations Stadium, Morales) W 1-0
@ Brazillico L 2-1
v Europa Brittania (Melmond Bowl, Melmond City) L 3-2
@ NEWI Cefn Druids L 3-2
v Everybody Dies (MelAir Park, Lee)
v Intelligent Madness (Frankndottir Stadium, Acosta)
@ Turnia
@ Lykaia
v Coruna (White Bread Dome, Suburbia)
@ The Home Islands
v Brazillico (Microcosm Football Colossuseum, Aldi)
@ Europa Brittania
v NEWI Cefn Druids (Feliz-Unne Stadium, Unne)
@ Everybody Dies
@ Intelligent Madness
v Turnia (Makinshakes Stadium, O’Connor)

Next Game
vs. Everybody Dies (MelAir Park, Lee)

Yes, Melmond is in sixth place after losing to their three main competitors, but the Fearless Farmer Faithful take a cue from who they cheer for and fear not. Melmond is only four points behind the second place side Europa Brittania and coming up is a slate of six sides that Melmond definitely has the ability to beat. The first side up and possibly the worst is the side from the Suicidal States of Everybody Dies, who have been dead on arrival ever since showing up on the World Cup scene. However, they recently scored their first win in their history with a 3-2 victory of Coruna. Anyway, being out in the hot sun of Lee should make this team stink and decompose. Defender Scott Cheney is serving a one-game double yellow card suspension so Manager Felix Coostatlwak is going to substitute him with Trav Strachan. The defender for the hometown Lee Grays just got done serving his red card suspension.

GK- Snhp Xtfuinxm
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Sergio Ortiz
D- Trav Strachan
D- Nina Steen
M- Martin Goodwin
M- Critandi Unne
M- Camui Arai
M- Cristina Antunez
F- Chris Owen
F- Mornakh the Bloody Handed

MelAir Park
Location: Lee, Melmond
Seats: 32,001 (Open Air)

The city of Lee is the 10th largest city in Melmond. It is in the hot southern plain region of Melmond, a place known for cow grazing and your Melmondian cowboy. Needless to say great steaks are found here. This is also the home of Melmond’s leading airline, MelAir as Lee International Airport is one of the busiest in Melmond as it is a favorite stop for transfer flights. Also, just outside sunny Lee, Melmond’s soda bottle shaped rockets are sent into space. The stadium MelAir Park itself was built for the Batter-Up Baseball League team in Lee and is hosting its first international football match. It is a rather quaint yet state of the art stadium. It should be a crowded pitch as it is by far the smallest in terms of area among the stadiums used for qualifying games. The first 2,500 who enter the stadium will get those cool flags that say “Funeral” on them courtesy of your favorite place to buy anything morbid, Morbid Inc. Auctions!

The Brazillico Tribune

YOINK!
"We'll take that third place," say the Chili Bats

By Jake Tartare

After four matchdays, it had appeared as though the Chili Bats had fooled all the pundits once again. "Sixth? You must mean, sixth in the world," thought these so-called experts, but indeed, Brazillico found themselves in sixth after four matches had gotten underway.

However, it appears Brazillico has now found the form all had expected from them, as they've rung off three consecutive victories and have no pulled themselves back into contention. Making these victories more important, all three triumphs were over teams higher in the standings than the Chili Bats prior to their respective contests.

The Fearless Farmers put up a good fight, but the Chili Bats refused to be embarassed at home, and triumphed over the Melmondanian side, 2-1. A fire caught in my study at home, so I lost all details of who scored the goals and what not.

Then, it was on the road for the Bats, as they ventured to the unfamiliar land of Intelligent Madness. Brazillico saw little of the intelligence, but a lot of the madness, as the IM citizens were hoping mad after getting swept up 2-0. Sandro Cannon and Octavio Quintana were the goal scorers in this match.

Lastly, Brazillico faced an upstart team from Turnia. The Turnians had been the shock of Group 10 to date, as they had came out of relative obscurity to clamp onto the provisional third place position. However, the Brazillicans put Turnia's dream run to a screeching halt as the Bats played their best game of the campaign.

Turnia played a highly defensive style to open the match, slowing down Brazillico's usually painfully-quick counterattacks. However, the Chili Bats adapted and drew first blood in the 38th Minute, as Guy Santos pushed up the right wing, passed the ball up to Sandro Cannon, then received a perfect return pass. Santos made no mistake, placing the ball low and left of the keeper, giving the Chili Bats a 1-0 lead.

Brazillico continued their pressure to begin the second half, and were rewarded a goal for their efforts in the 56th Minute. A superb ball by Filipo Cannon was thunderously headed into the top portion of the net by Tom Maracana, putting the Bats up by two. Brazillico coasted from there on in, leaving Undelay Industries Stadium satisfied with a two-goal victory and third place in hand.

Brazillico's next challenge lies with Lykaia; another relative unknown who have looked impressive in the early going. Lykaia currently find themselves in the top half of the table, though they'll be hard pressed to remain there with beasts like Brazillico, Europa Britannia and NEWI Cefn Druids still on the dance card.

Ok, maybe people didn't read the score thread or they just don't care, but I wanted to set up a list of 32 Referees for the start of the World Cup 15. The first round will be refereed by 4 referees per match. This is being used as mostly an adder to your RP and if you are a high ranked team, you can blame the Referee because of the Personality of the Referee.

If you want to submit a few referees, please reply in this RP thread.

Currently, we have 2 referees submitted:

Nation: Liverpool England
Referees Name: Landon Jacobs
Description: Harsh
Experience: LE Leagues since WC11Q season

Nation: Rejistania
Referees Name: Hsi Kansu
Description: Strict and not corrupt (not proven)
Experience: HVSR and H1SR

Nation: Eauz
Referees Name: Guillaume Villneuv
Description: Average
Experience: Le Premier Division (since WC9)

Nation Eauz
Referees Name: Matthieu Henry
Description: Strict
Experience: Le Premier Division (since WC11

TEN said he would add a few of them soon.

[M03:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [2] ???????? - [Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3288802#3288802)] -



You lost 2 - 1 to The East Asian Empire :)

Yes, but when they cease to exist on MD 13, I will be all set already :)

Posted: Sun Jun 13, 2004 8:31 pm Post subject:


Nation: Vilita
Referees Name: Milaibao Toibna
Description: Relaxed
Experience: Vilitan Leagues

Nation: Vilita
Referees Name: Jesson Muldoch
Description: Professional & Sensical
Experience: Vilitan Ref of the Year, AOCAF Regional Finals, Vilita National Matches

Nation: Turori
Referees Name: Gisterfred Q. Disterfred
Description: Whistle Happy, Corrupt
Experience: Vilitan Lower Leagues, Turori National Team

Turnia City Tribune

World Cup XV Qualifiers Report
Max Riodondo

Dragons Grounded... Again Turnia 0 Europa Brittania 2

Oh how third place was such a sweet taste, but ever fleeting. No one wanted to dare say a word that Turnia was beating up on the new guys. No one wanted to admit thrid place could be a house of mirriors. I will never admit how many pints I drank when the Dragons lost yesterday to Brazillico, nor will I admit to taking little blue pills after today's loss to Europa Brittania. But I digress...

We all knew coming into these next few games Turnia needed a draw, or ten... but , the ever present but, the Dragons have held their own against the elite, allbeit losses. No embarressing mishaps or blow-outs. I like to think the glass is half full myself. Bartender....

After the game, the locker room was closed to reporters, so I have no player quotes, just an official statement: "We apologize for closing our doors after today's game. Now, more than ever we must focus all of our energies on the NEWI Cefn Druids and forgo the usual press conference. Thank you for your understanding during this intense time."

I understand, no problem. As the statement said, the Dragons face NEWI Cefn tomorrow. Let's hope for the best, because it is bad luck to break mirrors.

I am Riodondo and you're not....

We lost to Rejistania 1-0, but I am not angry. I am rather cool because this results shows that we will soon dominate the world.

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/ao/vn15.gif


Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) 1 - 0 Bakinhale
( Adika 38 ) - ( none )




Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) Defender Giacomo Adika scored the goal which earnt his side league win number three in their qualifying capmaign, as Helmut Vilkaus's men completed a deserved 1-0 victory over lowly Bakinhale at a packed Marine World Park. The match, which kicked off fifteen minutes late in the demand from home fans to see their side, was dominated by long spells of possession for the in-home-form Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) team, although chances were few and far between as the visitors set their stall out to defend.

After Massimo Corsi, Enzo Ahat, and Santo Kecker had all passed late fitness tests, manager Vilkaus named a tweaked team which had Callum Banda as the lone striker in a 4-5-1 formation. But the ability of Christian Dogbé and Jonathon Stott to break forward and swell Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita)'s forward line was reduced as Bakinhale packed their midfield and sought to crowd their opponents out, the hosts patiently passing and probing for an opening.

The first such chance came after only three minutes as Christian Dogbé showed neat footwork to sprint in from the left and flash a shot in on goal - indeed it was be the left-sided player to whom Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) would look early on in their bid to unlock their frustrating opponents. On the right flank Jonathon Stott almost spun away from his marker before seeing a run on goal blocked, and Esemar Aliana overlapped to steal in behind the defence, but Vilkaus's men were finding too many Bakinhale shirts hampering their ability to fashion clear openings. The lively Dogbé gave the Bakinhale keeper a rare test with a shot from the edge of the box, whilst Banda then raced in from the right to drill a dangerous low cross in front of goal which the midfielder was inches from turning home. It was one-way traffic as the visitors rarely broke out of their own half, and seven minutes from the break Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) finally ended their opponents resistance with some individual magic as Giacomo Adika combined with Jonathon Baledrokadroka to open the scoring.

The highly-rated and hugely popular defender strode upfield before exchanging passes with Baledrokadroka, racing on to collect the midfielder's return through ball before clipping a shot past Bevan and wheeling away to celebrate with ecstatic fans. The goal put the pressure on defence-minded Bakinhale to push forward, raising hopes that Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) could exploit the gaps, and within minutes a foul on Dogbé allowed man-of-the-moment Baledrokadroka to curl another near-perfect free kick in on goal, unfortunately the Bakinhale keeper acrobatically pushed it away. Shortly after, the visitors could have stolen an unlikely leveller, breaking out for the first real time in the match, an opposition midfielder seized on Santo Kecker's misplaced pass to race on and launch a wild shot high and wide from the edge of the box. Then in first half injury time slack Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) defending allowed the visitors to sweep in from the left wing, their top scorer given a sight of goal with just the keeper to beat, only to drill a tame low shot from ten yards which Massimo Corsi comfortably dealt with.

After the re-start Vilkaus's men were immediately as close to squandering their hard fought lead as they were just before the break, Their substitute striker finding himself unmarked just six yards out from a cross, only to drive his shot amazingly wide of the left hand post. Having patiently ground down Bakinhale's one-dimensional defensive play during the first half, Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) were suddenly looking in danger of being surprised by the visitors long overdue forward play, and they again tried their luck from distance a minute later. Innevitably with the home side eager to retain their deserved advantage, and the visitors at pains to maintain their dogged defensive resistance, the match descended into a scrappy and uneventful battle between two crowded midfield's. Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) were still in the hunt for a decisive second goal however, and whilst the approach play of Stott, Dogbé, and Liguori was all too often closed down by determined Bakinhale, or squandered through a lack of options, the hosts did enjoy a series of corners before the hour mark. Shortly after Dogbé, who continued to run at pace at the Bakinhale defence, fed the ball to the tireless Banda from one forray forward, the striker shooting at the keeper, who easily dealt with the effort.

Despite the disappointing nature of the second half, Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) were retaining good possession and exercising a strong grip on the match, but growing impatience among some fans for a second goal prompted Vilkaus to turn to his substitutes. Twenty minutes from time the manager threw on Elekim Cairns for Liguori and a second striker in Serge DuPont, in place of Captain Kecker, the change robbing Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) of their strong midfield presence and leaving the hosts to endure nervous closing stages. Bakinhale again tested Corsi from the edge of the box as the largely unimpressive visitors suddenly found reason to rally - the inexperience up front of DuPont and disjointedness of the changed formation threatening to be the undoing of the otherwise dominant home side. Five minutes from time the Bakinhale top scorer again rose at close range to meet a cross, only to place his header wide with the small band of travelling fans preparing to celebrate an equaliser - Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) fans now anxiously hoping their side could hold on.

The bumper home crowd were almost put at ease in the 87th minute when a decisive second so nearly arrived, the ball spread left to Baledrokadroka after his corner had been cleared, the midfielder flashing a cross which Banda so nearly headed home. Instead Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) were left to fight for their one-goal win right to the death, and neary two minutes into stoppage time room opened up for Bakinhale to lash a 25 yard effort in on goal, Corsi diving brilliantly to tip wide and save the match for his side. The Bakinhale keeper went upfield for the subsequent last-gasp corner, but he could only help divert the set piece high and wide, and the Jungle Cats held on to secure their third home win and re-affirm their place as contenders for qualification from Group 8.



------------

Vilita Climb up Group 8 Table

The Vilita Jungle Cats have moved within one point of the qualification zone following their 1-0 win at Marine World Park over Newcomers Bakinhale. While sitting 6th, they are just 1 point out of 3rd, with an important match against 2nd placed Avenging Altos on the menu for the team. A 3 Goal victory over Avenging Altos could see the Jungle Cats into the top 3 heading into the second half of qualification. Dance2Revolution maintained the top spot, and their form, with a 2-1 victory over fellow table-toppers Wella. Avenging Altos can thank their placement in the table to their 2-1 victory over Svecia. However, the shock of the day came when Starblaydia hosted Group favorites Lemmitania, and sent the visiting side home with a classic drubbing, 3-0 in front of the Blade home fans in the biggest victory in the history of the Small Nation. In a bottom of the Table Clash, Grays Harbor took space over The East Asian Empire with a 2-1 Victory

[code:1:24e2f7c786]
Group 8
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Dance 2 Revolution 7 5 2 0 13 3 10 17 50
2 Avenging Altos 7 4 1 2 15 11 4 13 46
3 Wella 7 3 2 2 12 10 2 11 44
4 Svecia 7 3 2 2 9 7 2 11 44
5 Lemmitania 7 3 2 2 10 9 1 11 44
6 Vilita 7 3 1 3 8 9 -1 10 43
7 Starblaydia 7 2 2 3 10 8 2 8 41
8 Grays Harbor 7 2 2 3 9 12 -3 8 41
9 The East Asian Empire 7 1 2 4 7 15 -8 5 38
10 Bakinhale 7 1 0 6 6 15 -9 3 36
[/code:1:24e2f7c786]




http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/sched.gif
M01:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [2] - [1] Starblaydia - [Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3288802#3288802)] -
M02:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [1] Grays Harbor <- - [Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3288802#3288802)] -
M03:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [2] ???????? - [Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3288802#3288802)] -
M04:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [3] Lemmitania <- [Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3292323#3292323)] -
M05:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [2] - [0] Svecia - [Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3296607)] -
M06:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [0] - [2] Dance 2 Revolution <- - [Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3302821)] -
M07:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [0] Bakinhale
M08:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Wella
M09:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Avenging Altos <-
M10:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Starblaydia <-
M11:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Grays Harbor
M12:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] ???????? <-
M13:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Lemmitania
M14:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Svecia <-
M15:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Dance 2 Revolution
M16:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Bakinhale <-
M17:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Wella <-
M18:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Avenging Altos

FIRST LOSS FOR LIGHTNING
2-0 loss in Vilita drops Svecia to 5th

VILITA - It is still early but the Lightning dropped a heartbreaker in Vilita yesterday. A group effort from Svecia came up short when Vilita scored twice in under five minutes on lucky breaks for the home side.

The first came on a penalty in the 59th minute after Gustav Mähler was called for a hand-ball which replays showed clearly hit his chest and never touched his arm. Three minutes later Vilita got a corner kick after a clear by Mähler ricocheted off of a Vilita attacker and across the endline. The linesman called the ball for a corner and the kick was headed in to make it 2-0.

But the score was not an accurate reflection of the ability of this Lightning team nor of the effort they put forth in the match. But voetbal is voetbal and Svecia need to turn it up a notch and bring their A game.

FIRST LOSS FOR LIGHTNING
2-0 loss in Vilita drops Svecia to 5th

VILITA - It is still early but the Lightning dropped a heartbreaker in Vilita yesterday. A group effort from Svecia came up short when Vilita scored twice in under five minutes on lucky breaks for the home side.

The first came on a penalty in the 59th minute after Gustav Mähler was called for a hand-ball which replays showed clearly hit his chest and never touched his arm. Three minutes later Vilita got a corner kick after a clear by Mähler ricocheted off of a Vilita attacker and across the endline. The linesman called the ball for a corner and the kick was headed in to make it 2-0.

But the score was not an accurate reflection of the ability of this Lightning team nor of the effort they put forth in the match. But voetbal is voetbal and Svecia need to turn it up a notch and bring their A game.

More ref's
Nation: Liverpool England
Referees Name: Tim Smiths
Description: Strict
Experience: LE Leagues since WC10Q season, WC11Q season LE referee of the year, Former Heartland Cup referee, WC12Q season Referee of the Division (First Division)

Nation: Liverpool England
Referees Name: Frank Hunter
Description: Very Lenient
Experience: LE Leagues since WC12Q season, WC11Q season referee of the Division (First Division)

Nation: Liverpool England
Referees Name: Pierre Sebastien
Description: Very Harsh, Gave out 17 red cards in 12 matches one season
Experience: LE Leagues since WC11Q season, Harshest Referee Award WC12Q

----------------------------------------------------------
Team Still unbeaten after 7 Games: Liverpool England won away at The Evil Umpire 3-0 today, with a Chris Hawkins 20-minute second half hat-trick. Hawkins undid his greatness by getting sent off in the last minute for dissent, a second yellow card.