NationStates Jolt Archive

Skeelzanian intelligence has long been aware of a new wave of the malevolent species of newbie, the N00bulum Moronicum, and all its subspecies. Since we lack an IGNORE Cannon, Skeelzanain scientists have been hard at work breeding a new super weapon for use against the N00bs. I take great pride in being able to present you the most feared, terrible, and destructive being the universe has ever known....the Star Goat.

http://img29.photobucket.com/albums/v87/Bad_Skeelz/Stargoat.jpg

This fearsome creature will be set upon any N00bs who challenge the Principality, and it will show no mercy.

Aww!! its so CUTE!!

Where can I get one?

Well, I'm sure we could breed another one for a few trillion dollars, though it is kind of hard getting a goat ot impregnate itself. Other than that, I suppose there would be more in the Pit of Hell...

But.. but.. its just.. so cute!

I want one!

What in the hell?

We got some ignore cannons cheap. $25M

Oh we got ignore cannons, its just the Emperors youngest true-birth daughter fell in love with it and now wants one.

Can we borrow this for use on our telephone sanitizers, hairdressers, television producers, and other middlemen?

Such a hideous monster surely is too powerful to be contained? :P

Can it do tricks and dance?

Can we borrow this for use on our telephone sanitizers, hairdressers, television producers, and other middlemen?

Of course. We'll need it back soon though, the N00bs are multiplying...

Hoopy.

@Fluffywuffy: We find a steady supply of tin cans placates the creature, though it must feast upon a nation of N00bs every week or so.

@Dargonese: Unfortunately, the Goat knows few tricks other than "Rain Apocaleptic Destruction down on the heads of its enemies". That alone is pretty neat though.

Thats good enough, can we either have one or hire it for her 6th birthday party?

Well, I suppose we could lend it to you after we get it back from the Golgafrichans. Just remember what I said about tin cans.

Thats what I mea, not only entertaining, but helps clean up after the party!

Does beggar the question, which is more destructive,
several thousand spoilt 6 year olds, or a million mile long star goat.

Well, we have successfully scared the worthless third of our population with the star goat. They will crash into the planet Fintlewoodlewix in about five years, and hopefully that'll be the end of them.

Oh that's a tuffy....let's throw in the annoyance of Carth Onasi from KOTOR as a contender...

Carth: 'Do you mind if I know about you?'
You: 'No'
Carth: '*asks about you*
You: '*tells about you* So, what about you?'
Carth: 'WHAT THE HECK DO YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT ME FOR!?!?'
You: 'Oh....no reason.'
Carth: '*tells one thing*'

The Government of Falastur would like purchase one Star Goat for immediate use against n00b nations.

Price: An awful lot of money

~~Money wired upon confirmation~~




~~assuming we don't get eaten by it first~~

Confirmed Falastur. Cloning will begin as soon as we can get close enough for...samples....Expect delievery in 1 NS year (tomarrow).

However, to hold you over, heres a free "Terrible Star Goat Plush Toy!" Skeelzania is not responsible for any loss of continent, planet, body and/or soul after receiving the afore mentioned Plush toy

Skeelzania is not responsible for any loss of continent, planet, body and/or soul after receiving the afore mentioned Plush toy

:D :D

Thanks. I'll have to find a healthy supply of n00bs to use it on.

Shouldn't be hard.

It sounds to me like this Plush Toy is far more dangerous! It's also far more marketable. As such we'd like to order roughly lots of these Plush Toys for use instead of leaflet drops. There also really cute, apparantly.

Reilock Coratha