NationStates Jolt Archive

The off-site forums are really unpopular. So now, I'm going to keep everything centralized on two topics in the NS boards.

Scores Thread: http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=149266

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IC: The Gulf States national team beat Liverpool England 2-1 on Day 16 of the 5th Cherry Cup.

Head Coach of TGS - Scott Crandall - had this to say after the game: "We're going to take one game at a time right now. We've lost a few games recently and fell down. I think we're now 12th overall in the league. Any win like this one helps out greatly. I just hope to keep repeating our successes. Our offense needs to wake up a little more, but we should be getting better soon."

When apathy does not help anymore - Coach Hrwang fired

We Abysmals have a tradition of apathy, it is the not-worst way to handle unforeseen events, and no one can tell you that you did something wrong. The Association of Abysmal Icehockey decided to leave the comfortable realm of apathy and become active after Abysmalistan not-lost-and-not-drew game after game. 'Not-losses happen' commented coach Hrwang the first games, but after the team continued to fail to lose, he did not know any further. He seemed to lack the concept of losing or maybe he even wanted to not-lose.
His new replacement is former Shanty Town Cockroaches coach Oops. he is seen as a safe choice since the Shanty Town Cockroaches lost every single game in the last season and became the worst team in Abysmalistan.

Four Losses see Rayzors slip down the rankings
By "Scoop" Jackson, Jhanna Chronicle

Mere days ago everything looked peachy for Starblaydia, with their team holding the top spot in the entire league. Now it seems that the Divisional Title may be looking shakey.

"We've become a little complacent," said Head Coach Dagmer Cletfjaw, "before we were trying to win, now we're expecting to win."

But, then again, after four straight losses, will they be trying to win and expecting to lose? or trying not to lose and exepceting to try and win? but what about winning to expect to not to lose but win? How about I just shut up?

Excerpt from Starblaydi Combined Broadcasting's top sports show, 'Block and Tackle', every Saturday at 7:30pm

Brace of wins puts Starblaydia back on top...

With a large black suit to match his huge frame, ex defensive-lineman Trey Pickworth picked up on his favourite topic of the moment, the Rayzors.

“Now we bring you Hockey. For a few weeks now, a Starblaydi team has been competing in the Cherry Cup, Ice Hockey’s premier national competition.

Footage of the Rayzors team in action plays over most of the report, completely indecipherable to anyone who isn't a fan of hockey.

“The Starblaydi Rayzors, a team of twenty hard-bitten Hockey players, have been competing for this trophy, and are currently ranked number one in the tournament, having briefly lost this accolade after a winless streak of five games.

“Their main rivals for the North-West Divisional title are currently Iansisle, and for the entire tournament they’ll have to keep Abysmalistan, NEWI Cefn Druids and Daistallia behind them. Last time out on the ice at their home Stadium, the Rayzors shut-out the Druids two-nothing.

The picture switches back to a confident-looking Trey.

“You can see each of the twenty remaining games, plus all the playoff match-ups live on SCB Sports.”

<tag>

OOC: Just remember, this topic will count to improve your ranking on the Scorination.

IC: The Gulf States has recently hired Coach Hrwang, formerly employed by the Abysmals national team, to be an assistant with TGS' national team. Why? When the 2nd best team in the Cherry Cup decides to drop their coach because they're not sucking enough, something is a little off.

Head Coach of TGS national team Peter Ferrell was commented after this announcement saying "whatever means neccessary to get our team back into playoff contention is good. If the 2nd best team in the league wants to do whatever it takes to fall in the standings, we'll do our best to take full advantage of it. If Hrwang can take a terrible team unskilled with hockey to 2nd place in the league, imagine what he can do with a team with mostly Canadians on it."

FYI: 11 of the 13 Canadian provinces are semi-autonomous territories of The Gulf States - only British Columbia and Yukon are a part of California and Alaska. Alberta is disputed between TGS and C&A.

Oops, we did not-lose-and-also-not-draw-but-the-game-took-place again!

After Hrwang was fired, all hopes were on the new coach Oops. Foreigners may think that our wish to fail is something like crazy, but we are Abysmals, here failing is encouraged. All Abysmals in the different places of the swamp we call a country would be totally shocked if they see an Abysmal team doing well (maybe even so much shocked that the number of heart-attacks would skyrocket), so the national team better starts underperforming fast. The match against Audioslavia showed he old weaknesses: too many own-goals missed, too often, the ball accidentally went into the goal when an Abysmal player just swung his stick wildly in the attempt not to fall down.

The match against Kalaalit Nunaat had better tendencies: the new goalie Qix let more own-goals in than Gadd, who prevented a large amount of goals by falling on his butt and n the puck. Even if it might be impossible to see the Abysmals reach the last place of the table, they try their most-not-bad to do so.

"Twenty match-days, eighteen games, thirteen wins. The bastards."

Jordy McCliff, Starblaydia defenceman, sat in the oversized chair with the lights on him and the camera's red light staring at him.

"I, uh, think we'll have to cut that, Jordy." said the interviewer, knowing that he was going to put it in the package. "Could you rephrase?"

"Ok, Trey," Jordy shifted in his seat and began again, "in eighteen games, we've managed thirteen wins, four losses and a tie. You know how many times I've been on the ice?"

"I don't think I have the figures to hand." Of course Trey did. Why else did this McCliff fool think were they having the interview?

"None, Trey, absolutely none." Jordy was really scowling now.

"And how do you feel about that, Jordy?"

"About as low as the Praying 2 God boys," he grinned with malice behind his eyes.

Trey wound the tape on, making sure he edited it just 'so'. This package would be brilliant. Trouble in the Starblaydi camp? You bet your skates there would be, and it would all be his creation, and his scoop.

News Wire:

The nation of Praying2God has dissolved. Refugees are fleeing the former P2G national territories, some of which have come into the nations of The Gulf States and Flocarga and Delmarva.

The rest of Praying2God's games will be played at various sites throughout Flocarga and Delmarva - unless another site steps in.

After several losses the AESF coach, Don Milton, went and traded 3 of his forwards for 2 forwards and a defencemen. He commented on the team's struggles and the recent trading of a whole line.
"To be blunt, we stink. We needed some players with a few years expiernce not all these rookies. Frankly it will be a miracle if we even get in playoff contention. Theres always next season I supose.
Latez

Top loses to bottom but Rayzor bandwagon rolls on

Despite massive political upheaval in Praying 2 God, Starblaydia couldn't put them down, perhaps unfocussed by the late change of venue. Some point to the fact that Defenceman Jordy McCliff was placed in the penalty box for high-sticking - one of his teammates no less - allowing the P2G boys to take the lead and keep it as the clock ticked down.

"And how do you feel about that, Jordy?"

"About as low as the Praying 2 God boys," he grinned with malice behind his eyes.


The locker room reaction of the Praying2God squad was pretty upset by that comment by the Starblaydian defenseman. Most of the roster felt they had to make some sort of payback to the Starblaydian team after that one, which was accomplished with a 2-1 victory on Starblaydian's home ice.

Chris Carpenter, starting right winger for P2G: "Yeah, it's nice to know we got some peice of mind after that victory. Our country collapsed. Our last "home" game was in Tampa, Florida. We're still the worst team in the league. But you know, as long as some progress. We may not make the playoffs - but we're trying our best. It's been a tough season so far, no doubt. There's real tough competition. And it's nice to beat the top team in the standings, especially after one of their guys were talking bad about us.

Greg Swindell, 2nd line defenseman for P2G: "First and foremost, we thank and praise God for everything - for making all possible. For giving us our talents and ability to play hockey, although we're dead last. We just need to perservere and give our best every game. Our victory sure helps our chances. Perhaps now we'll get some momentum and get on a good winning streak and pull up in the standings."

After two consecutive losses, and the drop to the second-to last-from-behind place, Abysmalistan is pleased. Coach Oops managed to make the team, which occupied the last-from-behind place of the table and did-not-lose-or-draw-or-forfeit-their-games a team which gets trashed quite often and quite decently. Ex-coach Hrwang, who is now working for the Gulf States, did not want to comment on his failure to make the team lose after Oops showed him how it is done.

After two straight victories , AESF coach Don milton held another press conference.
"I credit the wins to the players we traded for. They added that needed spark and really brought the team together. Mayb it even put some fear into them seeing a whole line gone and think they might be next. If we continue playing this well we should have plenty of games after the scheduled season is over but nothing is a gurentee."
Latez

Second Place, But Not Second Rate.

Starblaydia may be at the top, but the Walmingtons are most certainly coming. Coming to the Rayzor Stadium and beating them 2-1. Coming on, ranked 2nd in the league. The Druids aren't far behind either.

Seven points in front after 22 days of matches they may be, but Starblaydia aren't free and clear yet.

The AESF team is making progress, and is only a few games out of 1st.
"We could be higher up in the rankings but we just have the unfortunate fate of having one of the most competitive divisions. Only 2 wins seperate first from last. Anybody can win this and with a little luck, it will be us. "Don Milton
[i]Latez

Oops demands increased payment

Coach Oops demanded a payment rise of 20% to neutralize the effects of the ravaging hyperinflation in Abysmalistan. The AbysmalIHFA will most likely accept this demand since the Abysmals are on the best way to the last place of the table after dropping another place.

Oops demands increased payment

Coach Oops demanded a payment rise of 20% to neutralize the effects of the ravaging hyperinflation in Abysmalistan. The AbysmalIHFA will most likely accept this demand since the Abysmals are on the best way to the last place of the table after dropping another place.

Two more loses but still on top
Rayzor's Rank in Real Danger of Slipping

First of all, Tanah Burung have beaten Starblaydia in a second international tournament. The first time it was a 1-0 win in the Second Round of the Third Under-21 World Cup. This time its a 2-0 win in Tanah Burung. Not very pleasing at all.

Then, again away, this time at The Belmore Family, Starblaydia are 1-0 up going into the last period. Things are looking good. We didn't epxect this, what with most key defencemen out with injuries, it was left to last-pick Timmett Saltcliffe and much-maligned Jordy McCliff to hold off the Belmores. Then fiery Rayzor left-winger Ragnar Larsson did something rather strange...

***This post now presented with LarssonVision***

He's passed it to them again, the useless fool. Why the hell does Coach Cleftjaw play McCliff anyway? He hates us all.

Here he comes, down the wing to overlap me. If I just get him, right under the helmet, he'll know what i think of him.

"Yeaarrghhhh!"

Got him! You big sack of oats. Stay down!

"You cant send me to the box, ref! For F*cks sake!"

***We now return you to our regular programme***

After viciously attacking his own team-mate with his stick, Starblaydia were left with only two players defending their goalie, after a mass brawl had three in the box. Severely short-handed with only three players on the ice, the Belmores racked up the goals. Final Score: Starblaydia 1:4 The Belmore Family.

The repercussions of this, squad-wise, are enormous. Stay tuned for more details.

AESF wins two and Pulls within one of 1st Place
Thats right folks, our good hockey team in its first year is doing great. With former Gold medalist Don Milton hired as coach, the team has really pulled thier act together. After a great game in net to win , they exploded in the next game with Mario Edwards getting a hat trick to win 5-0. Slovic Kilgan also sscored in a power play chance after Edwards was slashed. Edwards won the face off and Kilgan gobbled up the puck to fire a bullet past the oppossing netminder. The team is signing autographs tommorw at the arena between 2 and 5. Go out and support the team.
Latez

Desperately Hanging In There
Rayzors somehow still in 1st place

Losses to the other top-6 ranked teams in recent matches (somewhat confused by a temporal anomaly in The Gulf States, scientists are looking into the matter) have allowed the pack to chase down Starblaydia, who cling to their number-one rank by just a single point from Walmington on Sea, two from The Belmore Family and a more-comfortable four ahead of NEWI Cefn Druids.

Pundits will point to the huge internal rift in the team, for which we are reliably informed the instigator, Jordy McCliff has been permanently excluded from the team's camp. This action must only be a good thing for Starblaydia, as their first-choice defensemen are coming back from injury soon.

Jordy McCliff's replacement wil be announced here as soon as we have it.

OOC: Sorry, TGS, I couldn't resist.
IC:
Ex-Coach Hrwang got into problems in Abysmal city when trying to smuggle foreign currency into Abysmalistan. Since Totally inflated Yen are suffering from galopping hyperinflation, many people do it, Hrwang just had the misfortune that he was caught doing it. Hrwang just wanted to visit his family in Worstplace City. According to police information, he just forgot that he had 5 Gulf States cents (about 900,000.00 Totally inflated yen when the author wrote this) in his pocket. Hrwang is again free because 'formal reasons' prevented his arrest. Wether he was allowed to keep the foreign currency is not known...

Also Oops went into problems after the team scored 3(!!!) non-own-goals in the last matches. Oops just commented it by: "Oops, this is not supposed to happen! It is not my fault thta some players are so dumb that they mess up the directions for an own-goal. I told them tho look for Lirx, our goalie but some players like Qix say both goalies look alike on the pitch!"

Hahaha. Just have the nickel returned then.

TGS Hockey Association
3500 Putnam Avenue
Bardista City, BD, TGS
PG4 L71

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In a push to make the final 6 in the playoffs, The Gulf States lost 2-0 to NEWI Cefn Druids. Then, they beat Soviet Haaregrad by 2-0. However, they're now 10th place in the league, 3rd in the division. However, they are just two points behind the 6th place team - Tanah Burung.

Team Captain Rob McStephens was quoted after the Haaregrad game: "We're just trying to win every time we get out there. I know we need a few more points to get back into contention. Hopefully when divisional play returns, we can jump a few spots in the standings since the Northwest is weak - and the South has to filter itself."