Simpsons Springfield
23-05-2004, 02:38
The 'Uncontrollable Intestinal Gas Discharge Disease' (UIGDD) has been ravaging eastern Springfield and is expected to spread to foreign nations
SPRINGFIELD, USA -- Over 2,000 Springfieldians have been diagnosed with Uncontrollable Intestinal Gas Discharge Disease and the number of infected is rising rapidly. Authorities expect the entire town to be infected by tomorrow and for the disease to travel to outside nations within the next week.
UIGDD, as medical authorities have branded the quirky disease, causes an individual to uncontrollably expel instestinal gas from one's anus at alarming rates. Eventually, the anus becomes clogged with fecies. There are two defined types of UIGDD. When the anus becomes clogged in the first type of UIGDD, the anus will explode from the pressure of gas trying to escape. In the second type, gas will attempt to escape from other body openings such as the nose, mouth, and ears. Either by exploded anus or suffocation through inability to breathe through the mouth, a person will eventually die unless an operation is performed.
The cause of UIGDD is unknown. No cure has been discovered. Authorities fear this may be the next small pox. Panic.
SPRINGFIELD, USA -- Over 2,000 Springfieldians have been diagnosed with Uncontrollable Intestinal Gas Discharge Disease and the number of infected is rising rapidly. Authorities expect the entire town to be infected by tomorrow and for the disease to travel to outside nations within the next week.
UIGDD, as medical authorities have branded the quirky disease, causes an individual to uncontrollably expel instestinal gas from one's anus at alarming rates. Eventually, the anus becomes clogged with fecies. There are two defined types of UIGDD. When the anus becomes clogged in the first type of UIGDD, the anus will explode from the pressure of gas trying to escape. In the second type, gas will attempt to escape from other body openings such as the nose, mouth, and ears. Either by exploded anus or suffocation through inability to breathe through the mouth, a person will eventually die unless an operation is performed.
The cause of UIGDD is unknown. No cure has been discovered. Authorities fear this may be the next small pox. Panic.