Wombat News
23-05-2004, 01:49
Galdago; Wombat News
United Nations officials have today announced a crackdown on the murderous trade in 'gun shaped' fruit and vegetables, especially bananas and cucumbers. (http://www.ucs.louisiana.edu/~lst4606/ns/unciat/)
"We find it imperative in times like this," the announcer said, "that we crackdown on all possible crimes, real or not, before they happen. We find this especially true when it comes to filthy trade in illicit foreign fruits and vegetables like carrots, bananas and cucumbers."
The idea comes after a member of the Galdago police services sued the parents of a young boy who was wielding a carrot "in the way of a gun". The policeman has since been unable to return to work due to stress.
Wombat News has direct experience of the brutal crackdown on this wholesome and harmless trade. While attending the news conference, we were privy to a demonstration of the crackdown as a camera-man with little-known and third-rate news agency 20th Century Fox stupidly unpeeled a large yellow and black-spotted banana during the announcement. Within seconds, he was manhandled to the ground, beaten black and blue, and the banana was taken away to be destroyed in a controlled explosion.
Some have criticised the move as being anti-vegetable and anti-fruit.
THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – BRINGING YOU CLOSER TO REALITY
United Nations officials have today announced a crackdown on the murderous trade in 'gun shaped' fruit and vegetables, especially bananas and cucumbers. (http://www.ucs.louisiana.edu/~lst4606/ns/unciat/)
"We find it imperative in times like this," the announcer said, "that we crackdown on all possible crimes, real or not, before they happen. We find this especially true when it comes to filthy trade in illicit foreign fruits and vegetables like carrots, bananas and cucumbers."
The idea comes after a member of the Galdago police services sued the parents of a young boy who was wielding a carrot "in the way of a gun". The policeman has since been unable to return to work due to stress.
Wombat News has direct experience of the brutal crackdown on this wholesome and harmless trade. While attending the news conference, we were privy to a demonstration of the crackdown as a camera-man with little-known and third-rate news agency 20th Century Fox stupidly unpeeled a large yellow and black-spotted banana during the announcement. Within seconds, he was manhandled to the ground, beaten black and blue, and the banana was taken away to be destroyed in a controlled explosion.
Some have criticised the move as being anti-vegetable and anti-fruit.
THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – BRINGING YOU CLOSER TO REALITY