Free Czechoslovakia
22-05-2004, 17:16
The following program is brought to you by Czech Free News Global, bringing you the latest authentic news from the Democratic Republic of Free Czechoslovakia.
Peoples of the world, we wish for you to know that today, in the early hours of the morning, the Democratic Republic of Free Czechoslovakia was proclaimed by its first President, Jana Radoslava. She is unavailable for comment right now, but had prepared for us a list of her opinions on some of what she considers the more important issues of the day.
Nazism/Communism/Fascism/Socialism: ‘I am fiercely opposed to these forms of government, and I absolutely will not tolerate them within Free Czechoslovakia. I intend to see to it that these things are made illegal within the borders of this great country.’
International Trade: ‘I believe that no nation can truly thrive without it. I am willing to work out business relations with nations and corporations who abide by our laws, and understand that no outside business or government will have political power within our nation. They must operate by our rules when inside our borders.’
Religion: ‘My belief is that Freedom of Religion is a must, but that no church should have political power. We will not submit to commands from any religious power figures.’
Imperialism: ‘We shall not practice it, nor tolerate it. No nation should expect us to bow and cower before them just to preserve our cities. The forces of the Free Czech Army are very small, but so is this nation, and they are very well trained, and equally well equipped. We will not purchase our lives with chains about our hands and feet.’
Race/Species: All races and species are welcome within our nation. We will not treat any being capable of sentience as ‘Sub-Human’ for any reason, nor shall we submit to demands that we change this policy. We shall also make sure that all species have an equal voice here, and that none are made to be silent unjustly just because of greed, paranoia, or other such causes.’
More information about our country will be made available shortly. Thanks for tuning in to Czech Free News Global.
Peoples of the world, we wish for you to know that today, in the early hours of the morning, the Democratic Republic of Free Czechoslovakia was proclaimed by its first President, Jana Radoslava. She is unavailable for comment right now, but had prepared for us a list of her opinions on some of what she considers the more important issues of the day.
Nazism/Communism/Fascism/Socialism: ‘I am fiercely opposed to these forms of government, and I absolutely will not tolerate them within Free Czechoslovakia. I intend to see to it that these things are made illegal within the borders of this great country.’
International Trade: ‘I believe that no nation can truly thrive without it. I am willing to work out business relations with nations and corporations who abide by our laws, and understand that no outside business or government will have political power within our nation. They must operate by our rules when inside our borders.’
Religion: ‘My belief is that Freedom of Religion is a must, but that no church should have political power. We will not submit to commands from any religious power figures.’
Imperialism: ‘We shall not practice it, nor tolerate it. No nation should expect us to bow and cower before them just to preserve our cities. The forces of the Free Czech Army are very small, but so is this nation, and they are very well trained, and equally well equipped. We will not purchase our lives with chains about our hands and feet.’
Race/Species: All races and species are welcome within our nation. We will not treat any being capable of sentience as ‘Sub-Human’ for any reason, nor shall we submit to demands that we change this policy. We shall also make sure that all species have an equal voice here, and that none are made to be silent unjustly just because of greed, paranoia, or other such causes.’
More information about our country will be made available shortly. Thanks for tuning in to Czech Free News Global.