NationStates Jolt Archive


The culture wars, taken to a whole new level! (Open Joke RP)

The Blue States
20-05-2004, 02:13
OOC: I'm aware that the US does not exist in NationStates. I'm aware that some nations who ascribe to earth-like NS Earth theories lay claim to parts of US. I just wanted to make this nation for the heck of it, RP it for a while to have a little satrical fun, etc, etc. Take none of this seriously, please.

This whole thing stems from the whole "red state/blue state" "culture wars" thing talked about by political pundits. Basically, for those who don't know, the Blue States are the liberal ones, the ones that voted for Gore in 2000. The Red States are the conservative ones, the ones that voted for Bush in 2000.

The Culture Wars, according to pundits, are a dispute over values going back to the 1960s. The Blue States have liberal values, The Red States have conservative values, obviously.

If any nation wants to make a "The Red States" nation, and roleplay this out, I'd love to RP this nation against you.

Also, if any of the real life people mentioned are offended in any way, don't be. Consider this my homage to your valiant efforts against our unelected president. Of course, you probaly, and rationally, won't do all this that it says below.

IC:

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/the_blue_states.jpg

The flag, with each of the twenty states: Washington, Oregon, California, New Mexico, Hawaii, Minnesota, Iowa, Wisconsin, Illinois, Michigan, Maryland, Delaware, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, Vermont, Maine

Walking up to the podium, the leadership of the Democratic party was about to make a big announcement. A very big announcement.

Nancy Pelosi walked up to the podium. "Greetings, my fellow liberals. Today, the DNC has lined up all the states that voted against George W. Bush in 2000 to secede from the United States of America, and form the United Liberal States of The Blue States."

She let the resounding words linger in the air. "In the states that had conservative governors, populist rebellions have sprung up. New, and not rigged by the RNC, but truly free, elections will be held in one month's time. The same goes for the Senate and House of these states, as well as the president. Al Gore will serve as president until then, where a multi-candidate election, as many as they want from any party that wishes to field a candidate, for president and all other offices. Today is a great day for The Blue States. I now yield the podium to President Al Gore."

Gore walked up onto the podium. "All I have to say is, this is the real land of the free and the home of the brave. This is the real America. And this is what I have been planning since George W. Bush rigged the Florida election, bribed the supreme court, and assumed power like a dictator. This is what the DNC has been planning since that dark day, January 20, 2001. Oh, yeah, and we are moving to annex the District of Columbia from the forces of the National Guard of the State of Maryland. Our forces have massed in the Bethesda region, and are now moving down the beltway. George W. Bush will be tried for treason."
The Blue States
20-05-2004, 19:49
bump
The Blue States
22-05-2004, 04:37
bump
Hattia
22-05-2004, 04:45
Is this gonna be an actual war, as in Bang Bang...?

Anyway, I'll have to figure out how to free North Carolina from the conservative oppressors... :D

Good Idea!
-The Red States-
22-05-2004, 05:11
((Yes, I got here first! This is a great idea, Kudos to you, TBS. Hehe, TBS...heh.))

In a press release today, FOX News had this to report.

A suave-looking Brit Hume is seen whispering off stage:

"Liberal propaganda...got it...Red States...got it...Bush is greatest man alive...got it...slander...right." He says quietly before frowning at the camera. "That thing was on...wasn't it. Shit."

He sighs.

"In shocking news, this newly formed Blue States has declared their intent to seceed from the Union. Not since those bastards in the Confederacy –"

More whispering offstage.

"Right. The Confederacy – who were rabid liberals it turns out – are like these new Blue States. Not only this, but they seem to have elected this new leader, who's shocking picture we will show now. Parents, cover your childrens' eyes."

http://image.pathfinder.com/time/europe/magazine/2002/1007/germany/images/saddam.jpg

"Phew, that was a breathtakingly evil picture, eh? It truely embodies how truely screwed up these awfully liberal Blue States are. Everybody run, run now and get your .45 Colts! The damn Commie liberals are coming to kill us all!!!" He screams before dashing offscreen.

He returns shortly to plug in quickly, "This special report brought to you by SBC. Give all your money to SBC!"

FOX News Anchor Brit Hume
http://www.foxnews.com/images/1328/7_22_200x300_bio_brithume.jpg

The newly formed Red States, who have stated it is their God-given right to defend every freckle faced white child, are now mobilizing their military, made up of every body who can hold an AK moderately straight, including infants and mentally disabled people, and aim to defend D.C. and extract their Emperor, G.W. Bush. When questioned about how they hate Communists so much and yet they have a red flag and call themselves the Red States, all of the questioned people screamed "Commies! SBC! Give money!" and sprinted off.
The Blue States
28-05-2004, 13:24
"We are not Saddam Hussein!" railed Al Gore. "We will take Washington DC! We will try the evil Bush for treason! The horrible red staters are throwing mentally ill people and children into the mix!"

Nearly five hundred thousand Liberal Troopers, renamed from National Guardsmen, rushed through, accompanied by the obsolete tanks the government issued the National Guard.

They were going to make a head-on rush at the close-together centers of government. They hoped to capture not only Bush, but Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, Cheney, Aschcroft, and the rest of the cabinet, plus the congressional Republican leadership, and the supreme court who let Bush be electored.
-The Red States-
29-05-2004, 04:23
((Note: Nothing said in this post or the following posts should be considered of the author's opinion. Thank you.))

Secretly, a small contingent of The Red States' special forces, the Republatroopers, are dispatched to Washington D.C.

"OK, EVERYBODY GET THE HELL READY! THOSE DAMN SINNING LIBERALS ARE GONNA BE HERE SOON, AND WE'VE GOTTA BE READY TO YELL IN THEIR FACES 'TIL THEY GET TIRED AND GO HOME! NOW EVERYBODY STAY QUIET, THIS IS A BLACK OPS MISSION! WHICH INVOLVES STEALTH. CAUSE IT'S BLACK. OH MY GOD, I SAID BLACK! BLACKS ARE THE DEVIL THEY'RE TRYING TO STEAL OUR JOBS! NOW SHUT UP, AND SOMEONE GET ME SOME COFFEE!" The High Ultra Über Supreme Commander Michael "I'd Like To See You Do Something About It" Savage ordered.

"Sir, please be quiet." A soldier meekly spoke up. "We're trying to be secretive here."

"YOU SHUT THE HELL UP YOU HEATHEN! AND WHERE'S MY COFFEE, I DEMAND COFFEE!" Savage hollered back, bursting the unfortunate soldier's eardrums. "NOW GET YOUR FARKEN ASSES ON THE FARKEN BOUNCE AND LETS GO SAVE THOSE FARKERS IN THE WHITE HOUSE!"

The small, unbearably noisy special operations team creeped along towards 1600 Pennslvania Avenue, their Republican Propaganda at the ready.

High Ultra Über Supreme Commander Michael "I'd Like To See You Do Something About It" Savage
http://www.michaelsavagesucks.com/images/savagegq.jpg
Muktar
29-05-2004, 04:28
I will fight to free Nebraska from the conservative fascists!
The Blue States
31-05-2004, 13:37
Making their way down Pennsylvania Avenue, the first row of Liberal Troopers was knocked down by a sound wave emanating from the mouth of Michael Savage. "Pull back! Get into buildings!" yelled Lieutenant John Kerry, commanding the detachment.

The liberal troopers ran into buildings for protection from the sonic blasts, and opened fire on the Republatroopers.