NationStates Jolt Archive


A Guide To Practical Dragon-Slaying

Khrrck
18-05-2004, 07:28
A Guide to Practical Dragon-Slaying
By Armaka'karema

Part One
Common Misconceptions
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Dragon-slayers are often depicted mounted, wearing full plate and wielding a lance. Either that, or they're on foot and wielding a sword. 'Taint so.

A moment's thought will expose the obvious flaws in the plan.

First of all. No horse is brave or stupid enough to stay still when it can see a dragon. If a horse sees a dragon, it'll run. Dragons eat horses, and the horses know that very, very well, because horses who don't know that tend to die.

Second. Armor is rather ineffective against anything that can breathe fire. In fact, in the case of plate armor, all it does is conduct heat to the body, making you die faster. If you must have armor, stick with chainmail and leather padding, with perhaps a light helmet for your head. The only thing it'll defend you against is the dragon's claws.

Third. Firebreath and claws will beat a sword any day of the week. Lances aren't much better; a dragon can comfortably incinerate you while still staying out of the range of your lance.

The best weapon for dragon-slaying varies. If you're a very good shot, you might be able to get the dragon through the head with a longbow arrow. If you do go that route, I reccomend you poison your arrows. The poison that can kill a dragon hasn't yet been invented, but every bit helps. Curare is a good choice.

If you aren't too confident in your aim, contact your local witch, wizard, or mage and have them put a seeker-spell on your arrows. A properly cast seeker-spell will at least double your chances of hitting where you aim.

If you're the brawny type, and not too good with bows, you could go with harpoons. I recommend you poison them, and get a magic-worker to put the deadliest spell he can think of on the barbs.

So, armed with this new knowledge, we have a entirely different image of the dragon-slayer. He travels afoot, wearing light chainmail. He is armed with a longbow and quiver, or a harpoon.

Part Two
Tactics And Tricks
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Of course, there are more ways to go up against a dragon than on foot.

First of all, inquire to see whether there is a ballista about, or if one can be acquired. A ballista is a siege weapon, resembling a giant crossbow. If the dragon has a cave or lair that he frequents, moving the ballista into position while he sleeps and shooting him when he comes out is one of the most reliable ways to kill a dragon.

Despite popular opinion, a bombard is not a useful dragon-slaying weapon. Bombards are inaccurate, heavy, loud, and require large powder stores which can easily be set off by dragonflame.


Explosives are a possibility. Many dragons breathe fire according to the following sequence.

1. The dragon opens his mouth.
2. The dragon takes aim at the target.
3. The dragon flames.

There is a 2 to 3-second pause between 1 and 3 that can be used to lob a explosive device down the dragon's throat.

Unfortunately, some dragons, especially those with military training, open their mouth, aim, and fire. All with one motion. This gives you no time to throw, dodge, or, indeed, to react in any way.


Part Three
Know Your Dragon
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One should never assume things about dragons. Assume that a dragon is firebreathing, for instance, and you may find yourself with frostbite or acid burns. You may find yourself electrocuted, cursed, mauled, and, quite possibly, dead.

First of all, observe the dragon if possible. Try and see how it attacks.


According to my researches, there are at least two kinds of dragons:

Earthfire or "Normal" dragons. Your standard dragon fare, the sort you all hear about. They tend to be bright, fiery colors: yellow, red, and green, with the occasional black.

Icefire or "Ice" dragons. According to what I've read, the Earthfire dragons killed this species off several hundred years ago, for some unspecified crime. I'm not so sure they're all dead. The typical Earthfire dragon doesn't seem to know about this species, which is strange.

The typical Icefire dragon, according to records, is white or bluish-white, with the occasional black.

There's also a unusually large number of mutants. Most of the really dangerous ones are acid-spitters or have some sort of venom. Most of the "odd" dragons are in the Ice Blades, a sort of dumping ground for all the dragons that want to join the military but the Fire Blades won't accept.


Second of all: Ask around. If you know the dragon's name, contact the dragons. I reccomend the dragons' military organization, the Fire Blades. They serve as a sort of police force, as well as border patrol and army. Ask if the dragon has committed some crime. Most dragons who make a nuisance of themselves in human lands have. See if you can get the dragons to deal with it.


If you can't get the dragons to deal with it, get all the help you can. Never face a dragon alone if you can help it.

As for tactics, they differ with every dragon. I recommend you study the dragon. Learn its habits, if it has any. Formulate a strategy accordingly.

One final thing. Never go up against a dragon with magical training. If you do, you will die. Quite horribly. Get the dragons to deal with it, call in the Wyrms, call in several mages, or see if you can convince the dragon to go away.

Diplomacy is always an option.
Sketch
18-05-2004, 07:37
ooc: hehe, cool

ic:

Hmph, I've always found that a low level tactical nuke tends to fix most problems. Or at least make them go away.....

-some random field marshal (ret)
Khrrck
18-05-2004, 07:51
I wrote this guide for a somewhat lower level of technology than that.

-Armaka'karema

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What about shifter dragons, like myself? They can look human, and you won't know it's a dragon until he shifts, and they're not so stupid as to do it where you can see.

-Kemandorel
Voidstate
18-05-2004, 08:11
I don't know, Khrrck, I've always found the best answer to dragons to be negotiating them into the airforce. 8) Why waste hardcore firepower, when it can be so easily tempted by simple technological advances made available in a usable size?

--Cyb, Voidstate Minister of Technological Advancement
Roycelandia
18-05-2004, 11:36
No Dragon can withstand a .303 bullet to the head. At least, none of the ones we've encountered...

:D
MegalomaniaX
18-05-2004, 13:44
Why slay a dragon the old fashioned way when you can use a laser-cannon. Simply input the species you intend to wipe out onto the onboard computer and the laser-cannon will instantly vaporize any member of that species who is unlucky enough to come within three miles of it. 8) It's also a handy way of keeping citizens away from your secret military bases, apple trees, concubines and..um...tuna-fish sandwiches. :oops:
Jeruselem
18-05-2004, 15:16
We prefer crossbows firing RPG projectiles! :)
Five Civilized Nations
18-05-2004, 16:00
#tagged...
Draconis Nightcrawlis
18-05-2004, 16:07
We find the best way to deal with a dragon is to chase them with a wing glider and shoot them down with energy blasts.
Five Civilized Nations
18-05-2004, 16:10
Hehe... Guys... This fantasy tech... So no weapons such as yours exist... My characters kill dragons by tearing them apart with their bare hands... Hehe... Gotta love the magic...
Draconis Nightcrawlis
18-05-2004, 16:34
I have fantasy future tech, I also have dragons so naturally thats how DN deals with them
Gawdly
18-05-2004, 16:44
Why kill dragons? Woo them with soft words and red wine instead! Do not fear to love those scaly-beasts, for they are not unlike us...except for the claws, fangs, wings and fire-breath.
Khrrck
18-05-2004, 21:47
Woo them with soft words and red wine instead!

You're not going to woo me with red wine. And I don't breathe fire.
-Scree

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kill dragons by tearing them apart with their bare hands...

Try that with me and see how far you get.
-Armaka'karema

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I've always found the best answer to dragons to be negotiating them into the airforce.

All of the dragons currently residing in Khrrck are employed in the military, except for Armaka, Romduran, and Keman, who are Ambassadors.
-Arak Steelfang

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No Dragon can withstand a .303 bullet to the head. At least, none of the ones we've encountered...

A decent Hardening spell on the scales and a Air shield and the only thing that'll stop you is a tank.

Why slay a dragon the old fashioned way when you can use a laser-cannon.

Mirror-shields are singularly effective against such.
-Ak'mar

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We prefer crossbows firing RPG projectiles!

I was hit by a near-miss from a RPG once. It's not an experience I want to repeat. I couldn't use the leg properly for weeks.
-Tk'akr

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We find the best way to deal with a dragon is to chase them with a wing glider and shoot them down with energy blasts.

Good idea, if you can fly a wing glider through the gale that you're going to receive if the dragon has any magical training.
-Sk'mak
Teritora
19-05-2004, 00:27
Our Dragons come in three types:
The Teritoran Dragon: Think of your sterotypical dragon of European myth and legend and you got this beasty down. Notable threat to any livestock and people across Teritora but is notable that the meat is quite good.
The Teritoran Sea Dragon: An menace since ancient times to shiping and fishermen, the meat is prized as an Teritoran Delicacy.
Teritoran Wyvern:An Extremely poisonious small two legged dragon commonly found as an Teritoran housepet and guard animal and prized by assassins for its venom.

We usually deal with our dragons one of an few ways, theres always the knights in armor with, sword, lance and such which we have found to work rather for those out in the countryside. Teritoran Knights are really good at killing dragons and other monsters. which is good since we got to lot of them even if they do make an good meal especally sea dragon. As for an dragon geting near an city, twin mounted in turrets, 80mm AAs can do wonders.

Sea Dragons are usually hunted by the coast guard as an danger to shiping and the meat is sold off to help pay off the costs of hunting the beasts.

Wyverns have been domstaticed pets for thousands of years and the poison of the Teritoran Wyvern is highly prized by hunters and assassin as it is powerful enough to kill an full grown horse ten times over in under an minute and is used for various purpices in Teritora.
Cauthu Arn
19-05-2004, 00:35
The Cauthu would be very interested in gaining access to the genetic information of any of these dragons. Living specimens would be much prefered, if we are allowed time to develop a way to contain them.

We would be willing to trade living specimens of any of our weapons, defenses, buildings or vehicle ecosystems.
Khrrck
19-05-2004, 00:42
You aren't getting your hands on any of my genetic data.
-Scree

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I doubt any of the dragons would agree to that.
-Arak Steelfang

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What do you plan to do with the data? Cloning of sentients is not exactly a popular pastime.
-Romduran
Cauthu Arn
19-05-2004, 02:02
"To be frank; it wouldn't be cloning per se, and the organisms would not be sentient. All our weapons, defenses, what have you are living organisms and we are always interested in finding new genetic material to see how it could be changed and integrated. However, we understand if you are unwilling to trade the genetic material of sentients and near-sentients. Many cultures find that practice distasteful."

-Tsor Halliad

"However, we are still interested in genetic material from the dragons Teritora mentioned. If you need we can have a display of our latest generation of baul'sani. Their ability to affect gravitational forces is much improved from earlier generations, and we have a unihorath that can handle their idiosyncratic diets and neurological paths."

-Tsor Yunika
Khrrck
19-05-2004, 02:21
I'm sorry, but the dragons' genetic material is not for sale.
-Minister of Commerce

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There you have it. The official answer. No.
-Romduran

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I'm glad of it. I'd hate to see a non-sentient timeslicer. Or a warrior with Scree's three-speed metabolism. Or Keman's genes... *shudder*
-Armaka'karema
Cyberutopia
19-05-2004, 03:49
This is an interesting and useful guide, though we hope that no conflict will ever come between the Republic and Khrrck. However, we question on the wisdom of a dragon writing on how to slay those of his own species. In any case, we must compliment the author on his attention to detail.
Khrrck
19-05-2004, 21:03
Oh, if anyone kills a dragon without reason I'll be down on them like a ton of bricks. But sometimes, one of us just has to be killed, for one reason or another. And it's best if the dragon kills as few people as possible in the process. Never let it be said that we don't take care of our own renegrades.
-Armaka'karema