NationStates Jolt Archive

The WSFA (World Shoe Flinging Association) invites you to partake in the sport's first international championships. The objective of teh sport is simple - competitors simply project their shoes from their feet for the largest possible distance from a standing position. The distance the shoe travels is affected by the type of shoe selected, shoe size, the style of the thrower and the weather conditions, as well as various other factors. Competitors are drawn a random shoe from the selection provided, a selection that will be announced later in proceedings. However, we are now looking for competitors for the championships. If you would like to send an entrant from your nation, please post here, including...

Name of competitor:
Shoe size:
Style (from 1-5, 1= more power, less technique, 5=better technique, less power):

...and on behalf of the people of NEWI Cefn Druids, and our entrant, happy flinging!

Name: Louis Thomas
Shoe size: 8
Style: 5

Enterants so far from...

NEWI Cefn Druids
Tanah Burung
Bedistan
Melmond
Kzagblech
Brazillico
Krytenia
The Evil Umpire
Vilita
Cockbill Street
Raptor Claw

Tanah Burung's greatest sporting successes ever have come in the national sports of other nations. Therefore, the country will certainly take part in this interestign sport. In fact, in the words of the great shoe-flinger Nikita Kruschev, "We will bury you!"

Contestant:
Alonso da Silva Braganza
Size: 9
Style: 1

Well, many people believe that there are people in Bedistan that can kick a football reasonably well. Therefore, it stands to reason that they can probably kick just about anything, including kicking off shoes. As such, the Bedistan Department of Sports and Games has agreed to send a contestant:

Name: Todd Kepler
Shoe size: 10 1/2 (US)
Style: 2

Sure...why the heck not....sounds like a fun sport.

Name: Dugger Laga
Shoe Size: 14 (US)
Style: 4

Shoe-flinging has long been a pastime in some of Kzagblech's rural areas; we're pleasantly surprised that the sport has more than regional appeal. The winner of last year's Sarkoping and District Shoe-Throwing Finals has been chosen to participate:

Name: Josef Hinvalder
Shoe size: 12 (US)
Style: 3

Name: Alèx Lawsón
Size: 11.5
Style: 5

This guy is all razzle-dazzle, showing up to competitions and sometimes flicking it over the back of his head for distance. Of course, he never wins, but to Alèx, winning isn't everything... looking good is!

Gravopol Town goalkeeper Quentin John has what can only be described as an extraordinary kick. He shall be sent.

Name: Quentin John
Shoe Size: 10
Style: 2

:roll: What double post?!?!?

This is the most thinly disguised bump ever, other than those simply saying bump, but as no attempt has been made to disguise that, then I guess this is. Kind of.

A message from 8-Bit, Ruler of All

WE LOSE AGAIN!!! WHY CAN'T WE WIN ANYTHING. THESE VOODOO DICE ARE BULLPLOP!!! HEY...WHAT'S THIS? SHOE FLINGING??? OKAY GET SOMEONE TO ENTER SO WE CAN ACTUALLY WIN SOMETHING! YOU! VAMPHIR TEA BAG! GET HIM YOU FOOL!

The Evil Umpire entrant...

Vamphir Tea Bag
Shoe Size: 7 (US)
Style: 2

Just to note, this tournament will start tomorrow. Hopefully. Any more participants are welcome, though we're still not sure how to RP an event where longest distance wins.

Vilita can try to fling shoes! Keep it an AO Affair ! :)

Name: Serge DuPont
Shoe Size: 11
Style: 4

Shoe-flinging, eh? Heck, why not - we'll dig out a cricketer with good arms :)

Name: Tom Aitkin
Shoe size: 41 (Europe...somebody translate please?)
Style: 5

Um...double?

The treble for Cockbill?

Four? My word.

Five-post haul!

Name: Rap Tor
Size: 16
Style: 2

Right then, that'll be everyone in then. We have a range of shoes that have been rated in terms of how good they are for flinging, and each competitor will be randomly drawn an item of footwear. There will be three rounds, with the competitor recording the greatest overall distance being declared the winner.

And what are the items of footwear to be used? Well, we'll show you...



Basketball shoe - A bit big for a lot of flingers, but if flung with power, it could go a considerable distance.

Clog - A traditional wooden clog, a shoe that is a lot harder than the others and could well surprise people.

Flip flop - Lightweight, but it's flat shape means a technically strong competitor might get a good shot in.

Football boot - Designed to be light yet strong. Very good for anyone.

Knee high boot - Very difficult to get off the foot, then almost impossible to get any distance on. Selecting this will seriously harm your chances.

Novelty slipper - Designed in the shape of a football, but unfortunately, this is designed to keep your feet warm, not go flying into the back of the net.

Running shoe - Spikes could cause a problem if they hit anyone, but abart from that, the only risk with it is that it might blow away. Good if the wind is in the right direction.

Sandal - Similar to the flip flop, but more straps make it more of a challenge.

Slipper - Much better than the novelty slipper, in that these are flat, and a good flinger will get them a long way.

Smart shoe - A traditional shoe worn amongst white collar workers, this shoe is generally considered too impractical to get a good distance on. Best avoided.

Welly - Could have been made for this event, if flung properly, will go for miles.

Winged boots - Are made specially for this event. Drawing this footwear will help anyone's chances.

Worker's boot - With extra weight due to its steel toecaps, this tough cookie could needs a good swing to get a good distance.



And so there they are for all to see. The draw to see who gets what will be made soon...

What?! No FMPs? How disappointing... :lol:

Name: Mariusz Dymkowski
Shoe size: 41 (Europe, the same like Cockbill Street)
Style: 5

Name: Kellog Allbran
Shoe Size: 10
Style: 3

i shall be flinging a welly. A WELLY I TELL YOU

THAT'S IT! SIGNUPS CLOSED. DRAW FOR SHOES WILL BE MADE WITHIN 48 HOURS.

The competitors have been drawn their shoes and running order for the First Round, and will be flinging as follows:

[code:1:b9ea947805]Name Nation Shoe for Round one

Louis Thomas NEWI Cefn Druids Sandal
Mariusz Dymkowski Lovisa Flip flop
Alèx Lawsón Brazillico Winged shoe
Quentin John Krytenia Slipper
Alonso da Silva Braganza Tanah Burung Football boot
Todd Kepler Bedistan Novelty slipper
Vamphir Tea Bag The Evil Umpire Smart shoe
Josef Hinvaldeer Kzagblech Basketball shoe
Serge DuPont Vilita Knee high boots
Rap Tor Raptor Claw Welly
Kellog Allbran Audioslavia Clog
Tom Aitkin Cockbill Street Worker's boot
Dugger Laga Melmond Running shoe[/code:1:b9ea947805]

On a slightly breezy and cloudy day by the Viaduct in Cefn City, here are the results from the first round of the World Shoe Flinging Championships...

[code:1:897df23b12]Pos Name Nation Distance (metres)

1 Mariusz Dymkowski Lovisa 81.54
2 Louis Thomas NEWI Cefn Druids 78.61
3 Quentin John Krytenia 76.78
4 Todd Kepler Bedistan 76.31
5 Alèx Lawsón Brazillico 74.65
6 Dugger Laga Melmond 72.76
7 Alonso da Silva Braganza Tanah Burung 72.74
8 Kellog Allbran Audioslavia 67.24
9 Tom Aitkin Cockbill Street 63.95
10 Josef Hinvaldeer Kzagblech 62.94
11 Rap Tor Raptor Claw 61.36
12 Serge DuPont Vilita 58.24
13 Vamphir Tea Bag The Evil Umpire 57.61[/code:1:897df23b12]

The 39-year-old Tom Aitkin, fresh from his twenty-first season in the Cockbill Street County Cricket Championship (CCCC) where he passed a thousand first class wickets, was sent to NEWI Cefn Druids to throw a shoe yesterday. Although disappointed in getting a worker's boot, he also seemed unsettled with the technique involved in "flinging" the shoe, demanding that he should throw it with a straight arm and exactly 22 metres. It took some explanation to get it into his head that the point of this competition wasn't accuracy, but length. Once he got that firmly in place, though, he unleashed his mighty arm (though still in a funny circular and dead straight motion) and managed to throw his boot a whooping 63.95 metres. However, he fell 18 metres short, as Mariuz Dymkowski of Lovisa came up with a clear win with his not particularly aerodynamic flip-flop.

(extract from a minor column in the Soundgardian on Sunday)

Welsh Welly Wonder is Wank
Kellog Allbran not so tasty in shoe-throwing tournament

Kellog Allbran threw himself to an unimpressive eighth place in the Cefn Druid sport of shoe-flinging. The shoe he flinged was meant to be a welly, but instead the unfortunate slave was given a clog. Dutchness is blamed for the poor showing.

More from this, and from the Belmorian sport of Fudge Packing in tommorow's 'Useless Weirdo Sport' pages.

I've been Malcom McVities, g'nite bitches.

CITEAN ALTEAN FORTEAN
The Alternative Sports Mag

"QJ" A Shoe-In For Third

FLINGING a tartan slipper may not bring home the bacon for most people, but in Cefn, it brings much kudos. Especially if the person flinging is Krytenia's own Quentin John. "QJ" managed to hoof said slipper the best part of 80m to put him third in the first ever World Shoe Flinging Championships in NEWI Cefn Druids, a nation better known here for its exploits in the fields of the AOCAF Cup.
More news from the W.S.F.C. as we get it.

The results for round two of this irrelevant sport that no-one (and that includes the host now they've made the World Cup finals) really cares about are as follows:

[code:1:a4bca918f5]Name Nation Shoe Distance (m)

Dugger Laga Melmond Novelty slipper 83.99
Alèx Lawsón Brazillico Slipper 77.52
Quentin John Krytenia Flip flop 76.23
Josef Hinvaldeer Kzagblech Football boot 74.75
Louis Thomas NEWI Cefn Druids Running shoe 71.73
Kellog Allbran Audioslavia Sandal 70.98
Serge DuPont Vilita Winged shoe 67.46
Mariusz Dymkowski Lovisa Smart shoe 66.38
Tom Aitkin Cockbill Street Basketball shoe 62.53
Rap Tor Raptor Claw Clog 62.26
Vamphir Tea Bag The Evil Umpire Welly 61.58
Todd Kepler Bedistan Workers boot 56.39
Alonso da Silva Braganza Tanah Burung Knee high boot 44.05[/code:1:a4bca918f5]


Making the ruinning totals as follows:

[code:1:a4bca918f5]Dugger Laga Melmond 72.76+83.99 156.75
Quentin John Krytenia 76.78+76.23 153.01
Alèx Lawsón Brazillico 74.65+77.52 152.17
Louis Thomas NEWI Cefn Druids 78.61+71.73 150.34
Mariusz Dymkowski Lovisa 81.54+66.38 147.92
Kellog Allbran Audioslavia 67.24+70.98 138.22
Josef Hinvaldeer Kzagblech 62.94+74.75 137.69
Todd Kepler Bedistan 76.31+56.39 132.70
Tom Aitkin Cockbill Street 63.95+62.53 126.48
Serge DuPon Vilita 58.24+67.46 125.70
Rap Tor Raptor Claw 61.36+62.26 123.62
Vamphir Tea Bag The Evil Umpire 57.61+61.58 119.19
Alonso da Silva Braganza Tanah Burung 72.74+44.05 116.79[/code:1:a4bca918f5]


The results of the third and final round will be released whenever anyone in NEWI Cefn Druids can actually be bothered about what was their "National Sport" until they invited the World to play and realised that it really belonged in some backwater country fair, where it should never see the light of day again.

Ever.