Klonor
08-05-2004, 21:55
Pain. Darkness. Lack of alcohol. Damn, this was one hell of a crappy wake up. Seriously, any of the three alone makes for a sucky day, but all three together just really sucks.
"Hello? Where the hell is my doctor? Newsflash: I'm in pain here!"
The lack of answer is worse than no answer
"Jesus Christ, do I have to fire everyone in this entire building? And what the hell is that smell?"
The last would be the smell of rotting flesh permeating the air. At least, the small amount of air he had access to.
"Oh, that is it. You're all fired!"
Then begins the coughing. Huge, racking coughs that shake his entire body. That's what happens when you suddenly swallow a few pounds of dirt (complete with the insects living in it)
"Oh, shit. Am I underground? What the hell did I do last night? Okay, that's it. No more collostomizers."
He begins to dig, slowly shifting the dirt and mud off to the side as he steadily progresses upward. Finally, he breaks the surface.
"Finally. Where the hell am I?"
The surounding area was unknown to him, a few houses here and there and a church off to the side. The large Star of George on top was not a good sign. The numerous tombstones all around him was an even worse sign.
"Was I buried? Wait, am I naked? Damn, I need a collostomizer (I guess he forgot the oath he made a bare few minutes ago)"
He stumbles around, heading in the vague direction of the Church trying not to trip over to many tombstones. He finally reaches the Church, banging on the door and screaming for it to be opened. Finally, the priest arrives.
"Can I help you?"
"Your damn well right you can. I need a drink, badly."
"I'm sorry, but our bar is only open from 3 to 5."
"Are you telling me no? Do you have any idea who the hell I am?"
"Yes, you're some dirty hobo who apparently can't tell time."
"Why you insolent little worm! I am the Grand Duke Solomon Klonor, ruler of the Klonor Empire, and you will show me some respect!"
"Hello? Where the hell is my doctor? Newsflash: I'm in pain here!"
The lack of answer is worse than no answer
"Jesus Christ, do I have to fire everyone in this entire building? And what the hell is that smell?"
The last would be the smell of rotting flesh permeating the air. At least, the small amount of air he had access to.
"Oh, that is it. You're all fired!"
Then begins the coughing. Huge, racking coughs that shake his entire body. That's what happens when you suddenly swallow a few pounds of dirt (complete with the insects living in it)
"Oh, shit. Am I underground? What the hell did I do last night? Okay, that's it. No more collostomizers."
He begins to dig, slowly shifting the dirt and mud off to the side as he steadily progresses upward. Finally, he breaks the surface.
"Finally. Where the hell am I?"
The surounding area was unknown to him, a few houses here and there and a church off to the side. The large Star of George on top was not a good sign. The numerous tombstones all around him was an even worse sign.
"Was I buried? Wait, am I naked? Damn, I need a collostomizer (I guess he forgot the oath he made a bare few minutes ago)"
He stumbles around, heading in the vague direction of the Church trying not to trip over to many tombstones. He finally reaches the Church, banging on the door and screaming for it to be opened. Finally, the priest arrives.
"Can I help you?"
"Your damn well right you can. I need a drink, badly."
"I'm sorry, but our bar is only open from 3 to 5."
"Are you telling me no? Do you have any idea who the hell I am?"
"Yes, you're some dirty hobo who apparently can't tell time."
"Why you insolent little worm! I am the Grand Duke Solomon Klonor, ruler of the Klonor Empire, and you will show me some respect!"