NationStates Jolt Archive

What are these elves running from? They're not! They're running to the most dangerous TV show this side of 'Who wants to be an Immigrant'!
That's right, it's time for... Most Extreme Elimination Challenge! ANd here are your hosts, Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano!

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"Welcome to a special all elven broadcast of MXC, today we have the Noldrin versus North Pole! Siri versus Santa!"

"Hey Vic, is Siri here?"

"I don't believe so Kenny, why?"

"She's hot."

"Kenny... And here to start us off is our very own Captain..."

"Elf babe."

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"Allright... who among you think that working one day a year delivering toys for ungrateful brats around the world is a useful profession? Show of hands... now!" The crowd all raises their hands and yells. "Well, you're all wrong. Santa is nothing but a fat oppressor using miget elves as slave labor in his scheme to make the world believe value comes from material possesions. Now... Let's go!"

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"First up is... ooo, it's Boulderdash. Our most dangerous game."

"Hey! Who are those guys at the top?"

"Those are Orcs on loan from Arda, they broght their own boulders too."

"Hey, how much do they charge to be bodygaurds?"

"I don't know, but there goes our first contestant, Phil Monohebawitz. He works as head tailor to Santa and says here that he gets paid so little, all he sees is red. Oh! And that two ton boulder just smashes him against the wall!"

"He's not just seeing red now..."

"Indeed. Here's our next contestant, a Maro Blankenship. Related to you, Kenny?"

"Yeah, he's a third nephew or something. He's a Used Gravship salesman in South Menelmacar America. He sold me a lemon once."

"Bad anti-grav unit?"

"No, I wanted lemonade."

"Kenny.... And Maro is halfway up and is into the second safety slit, avoiding those boulders coming at him."

"Man, those Orcs can sure heave a rock."

"Right you are and Oh! My... he faceplants into the boulder and is busted like the nut he is. No score yet, but we'll be back with Sinkers and Floaters, after the break."

"Oh, no..."

"Sorry for your loss Kenny."

"What? Oh, it's that he sold me the best lemons."

"Kenny...."

Wow............this is interesting.

Grr! Argh!

*shakes a fist* Sorry, all.

Nachos! Nachos for everyone!

*brushes double-post under the rug*

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***

"Um... think they're compensating for something?"

"I dunno... but look at that program list." *sing song* "One of these things is not like the o-ther..."

I'm waiting for Kenny Blankenship's Most Painful Eliminations of the Day!

"And we're back! Next up is sinkers and floaters. The object is to stay on the floaters while running across the pond. Hit a sinker and you're going down."

"Hey Vic! Check out my Siri blow-up-doll!"

"Kenny! Put that thing away, we're on TV! The censors will have our jobs..."

"No... it's from Melkor. You take a Siri doll and strap on the C-4..."

"Kenny, shut up, the first contestant is ready."

"And then you-"

"Kenny!"

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"Our first contestant is... Rudolph!"

"Wait.. that's not Ruldoph. That's Ted Kennedy, the Red Nosed Senator."

"Right you are. Accused of sending a woman to a watter death he gets halfway across and has one of his own. Next up is the Noldrin with San-Rano, an extreme mountainclimber from the North Americian Plains. His climbs include Mount Hickey, the highest point in the Pimple Flats. And oh, my! He's made it! The Noldrin are in the lead!"

"We go now to the Captain, filling in for Guy leDouche while he awaits trial."

"It never pays to ask a female cop out while she's arresting you for sexual harrassment."

"Indeed."

"Hey, that's my line."

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"Allright, this is a simple game. Pick up the ball, run down the field and don't get knocked down or knocked up."

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"Good advice. Now running for the North Pole is... oh my! It's our minister of tourism, Hervé "Tattoo" Villechaize!"

"Look Vic! It's da plane!"

"Indeed! And Hervé has the ball and is running circles around the tacklers!"

"Tiny circles. Really, really,really tiny, tiny ones."

"That's enough Kenny."

"But they're so small!"

"And Hervé performs a dribbling-quad twist around to the outside, a zigging double lindy under a defender, slips around in a classic hammering slipper and ties the game up for the North Pole!"

bump

OOC: I gotta be able to find this again. Tag. Wonderfully hilarious.

[tag!][tag again!][TAG!]

:lol:

OOC: Thank you, thank you. I'll finish this up sunday night.

*Tags the funny*

that show is awesome!

Who here saw the almost live special with Tony Hawk?

Sorry, man. MXC is purely a comic relief series of threads I'm starting with my vacation spot nation.

Future episode ideas are welcome via TG to Dilmun.

"And we are back at Boulderdash! Apparently, no one is able to compete at the moment for the elves, so our own Kenny Blankenship has volunteered to step in! Are you ready, Kenny?"

"Yeah Vic! I'm going to win! What the hell? Get away from me you little runt!"

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"Kenny is being attacked by Phil Venice-Sun, head chef for Santa's workshop. And there he goes up the boulderdash hill..."

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"ARRRGH!"

"Oh my... spread eagle. A position Kenny is all to familiar with. And here comes Kenny, running with all his might down that hill, with nothing short of three broken ribs, a cracked collarbone a snapped mojo. He's tries for a hobo squat, but..."

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"Can't run... UNGH!"

"Ouch... and that's our Most Painful Elimination of the Day... That is all the time we have, but have no fear! We will be back with another brutal contest... as soon as Keny is out of traction. And what do we always say?"

"DON'T GET ELIMINATED!

Hey! No side conversations.

That was... bizzare, thought the AI of Inetius Prime, assigned to monior media from around the globe, really really bizzare.