NationStates Jolt Archive

Wombat News: Syskeyia to Host First I’m Not Gay Pride March

Wombat News
23-04-2004, 12:35
Syskeyiapolis; Wombat News

Syskeyiapolis will be the scene of the first annual I’m Not Gay Pride March, a unique opportunity for outed national leaders to “strut their straight stuff,” organisers of the march said today. (

“Those taking part in the march want the world to know that there’s nothing wrong with being gay, as long as people don’t think that they’re gay,” a march spokesman said today.

Organisers expect a heavy turnout from national leaders claiming to have been wrongfully outed, including Syskeyia’s President and First Consul Benedict Michael Sukothai, Roania’s Duke Leopold and Eris Kallisti’s eponymous Empress.

The miffed national leaders have been practicing a variety of chants for weeks, including, “We’re here, we’re not queer, and if you say we are, we’ll sue you.”

For her part, Empress Eris plans to appear on a float surrounded by Playgirl centerfolds she either has dated or intends to date at some point in the future.

“The message of the float is pretty clear: Empress Eris dates men – a lot,” the spokesman said.

While march organisers are hopeful that the I’m Not Gay Pride March will become an annual event, most NationStates leaders are keeping their distance from the march for fear of alienating gay voters, best exemplified by a carefully worded statement released by Knootoss’ head of state, Lady Galadriël:

“While Lady Galadriël wishes all those marching in the I’m Not Gay Pride parade well, she strongly believes that not being gay is nothing to be proud of. Having said that, Lady Galadriël would like to add that she herself is not gay, even though she is not proud of not being gay.”

23-04-2004, 14:23

Of course I aptly retalliated in the post following that one. This is exactly the kind of thing that Galadriël would say.

Linky linky! (
23-04-2004, 14:25
can i join in on your march? lol
23-04-2004, 14:45
5 pink stars for the article :lol:
Wombat News
23-04-2004, 16:29
"Moving straight on, in other news this evening ... "

This has been a Wombat News bump
23-04-2004, 16:56
"And the cute, cudley wombat strikes again."

~Empress Ithenril
Holy Vatican See
23-04-2004, 17:19
Apostolic Blessing to the Wombat in gratitude for another good snigger.
Steel Butterfly
23-04-2004, 17:54
excellent post, wombat, although I do miss the picture that you used to use
25-04-2004, 00:50
Who ever said I'm gay? It's just that I can't find a women and all the eligible women out there are heirs to the throne and/or want to marry one, and I'm just an elected official! Sheesh!

God bless,

Benedict Michael Sukothai
President and First Consul of the Republic of Syskeyia

OOC: :lol: Don't know whether Syskeyians would like those Playgirl models on the Empress' float, though. Decency laws and such.
Wombat News
26-04-2004, 11:29
I do miss the picture that you used to use

What - this one?

The Imperial Navy
26-04-2004, 11:47
I'm Super! Thanks for asking! :D
03-05-2004, 10:15
Grand Duke Leopold von Agua closed his eyes and pinched his nose, knowing what was coming. He had no idea why Wombat News had, out of all the people in the Divine Imperium, singled him out for abuse of this magnitude. The phone rang. With a sigh, he picked it up, and said, "Hello, Duke Leopold von Agua here..."

A girl laughed on the other side of the phone. "Hello, my Lord Duke... I just called to thank you for whatever it is you're doing to keep Wombat News fixated on you, while me and my husband can relax... keep up the good work!"

Leopold shuddered as Kaiserine Malissa Black hung up the phone, and then he put his head in his hands and started to cry.