NationStates Jolt Archive


Central Facehuggeria hits one billion (obligatory thread)

Central Facehuggeria
17-04-2004, 14:43
On millions of television sets around the nation, a spinning facehugger with the letters "CFNN" emblazoned on it appeared upon a black background. It was accompanied by the customary news jingle that sounded rather like the theme song from Jaws.

The symbol faded, and was replaced by two people, an older man, and a young and attractive woman.

The man started off, reading a teleprompter: "We have a monumental piece of news for you today. Isn't that right Jean?"

The woman replied "Yes, it most certainly is Chuck. Today, at 8:40 Facehugger standard time, the one billionth citizen of the USSCF was born. Isn't that amazing?"

"Yes it is." The man replied. He continued with "It cert...Wait a second." He looked at the teleprompter for a moment then continued "This just in! The one billionth facehugger citizen has six toes!?"

The woman interjected "I guess so. Whether this is an omen of things to come or not, I don't know..."

"Well, you know that the government will be going into inactivity for a week. Supposedly the Premier wants to take a week off or something." The man said idly.

"How can the Premier leave with such a bad thing hanging over us!?" The woman said in a flustered manner

"He already brought the plane tickets, and they're non refundable!" The man replied

"Oh. I see." The woman said, after a pause for effect.

Suddenly, a voice from off screen yelled at them "This is a news show, not your chance to discuss the descisions of the government! You know what the Gestapo used to do to people like you!"

"Sorry. And later in our program, we'll have a cute story about a three legged dog that saved a child from a raging river." The man said, hurredly apologizing for the woman's lack of prespective.

OOC: The real deal is that I hit one billion people on the eve of a big and long-planned trip to Europe. So I'll be gone for about nine days. I'm sure all you guys will be heart broken. :wink: