Xanthalian Armada and Military find new use for transporters
The Xanthalian Ministry of the Armada and Military announced today that within the next two years their ammunition problems would be solved forever. "It's a simple concept, one everyone here is kicking themselves for not thinking of earlier," said a chief developer for the Ministry of Research and Science working with the Armada and Military. "Internal transporters to automatically regenerate ammunition. It won't work in really small things, like guns, but in all ships and larger military equipment there should be no problem getting it to work. No more running out of torpedos, missiles, or bullets again. Ever." The new application of transporter technology would regenerate new ammunition for every round (or set of rounds in faster firing mechanisms) spent in battle.
"The application of this method will not only put an end to resupply issues, but it will also minimize ammunition storage space needed in our starships," says Tom Dawson, an Admiral in the Armada. "We'll have more cargo room, and early projections indicate that we'll be able to implement shield upgrades to several vessels with the space."
The technology will be fully installed in all applicable Armada and Military equipment within five years.
The Holy Saints
08-04-2004, 06:08
Will the technology be availiable to other nations after or during your ship's installment phase?
The new application is simply a miniaturized/specialized version of a long-standing Xanthalian technology. We would be happy to share either individual units or manufacturing rights for the appropriate fee.
(OOC: I'm just forced to comment. Where's the ammunition you're beaming in come from?)
The SLAGLands
08-04-2004, 07:43
In light of this breakthrough in technology, Anheiser-Slag, under the guidance of Granny Slag's Homestyle Confections, is pleased to announce the release of Grany Slag's Bottomless Beer Mug!
http://www.homebrewingsupplies.org/beer-mug.jpg
Utilizing the same technology as the Xanthalian überammunition machine thingy, Granny Slag's Bottomless Beer Mug will automatically fill with the finest, coldest, foamiest Anheiser-Slag Genuine Draught, the smoothest beer in the multiverse! Why waste the technology reloading your tanks when you can waste your time GETTING tanked instead?
Granny Slag's Bottomless Beer Mug... fill me once, shame on you; fill me twice, shame on us!
Vivian Lockheart
CEO
Granny Slag's Homestyle Confections
S-14: That's the beauty of it. It can come from anywhere. The system uses transporters only for placement. The key to its operation is the replicators that already exist in Xanthalian ships. And thanks to Xanthal's newest generation of technology, that replicator technology has been integrated into the transporter itself. Essentially, it creates new ammunition from anything. Asteroids, space dust, debris of fallen ships... Even from the remains of the spent ammunition just fired. It doesn't matter.
Skeelzania
08-04-2004, 07:48
That sounds all well and good Xanthal, creating new ammo from space junk and asteroids and what not. But lets see what you think when you accidently suck in your homeworld during target practic. Ever think of that?
The SLAGLands: It's hardly a breakthrough, simply a new application. We in Xanthal are proud to continue to host our own Granny Slag regional HQ, and look forward to enjoying beer at our favorite resturants without having to constantly ask for refills.
(OOC: Sooooo... you're saying beam back bullets, reform them, and fire them again?
Why not just beam out portions of the other guy's hull and cut out the middleman? Or does it not work through shields and such?)
The SLAGLands: It's hardly a breakthrough, simply a new application. We in Xanthal are proud to continue to host our own Granny Slag regional HQ, and look forward to enjoying beer at our favorite resturants without having to constantly ask for refills.
Oh its obvious you're only saying that so you can skimp on tipping :wink:
Skeelzania: Very funny. Having had replicator technology for over 500 years though, Xanthalian engineers have long since made certain that their replicators know where they're pulling matter from. Even if they didn't, one torpedo is hardly going to decimate a planet. You'd have to create millions of them to even make a dent in an Earth-sized rock.
S-14: If it worked through shields, I'd have been ignored by now. Nobody likes losing a battle before it starts.
Technically ANY matter could be used, so all you would need to do was go near a planet and have it make torpedos out of organic matter. This is one of the most dangerous technological applications possible... What is the range for creating torpedos out of matter?
S-14: If it worked through shields, I'd have been ignored by now. Nobody likes losing a battle before it starts.
(OOC: Then... it doesn't work through your own shielding?)
With replicators you can make pretty much anything out of anything. They can't do some of the really complex molecules and they can't do really large jobs on their own, but this is well within their ability to preform. Basically, this development is simply a highly specialized version of two common technologies, replicators and transporters, working together. There's really nothing new here.
S-14: Correct. When in heated battle, the ship's replicators must draw from prestored matter held in the transporter buffers, much like those used in Star Trek. Under such conditions, the supply is not technically infinite. Under any kind of predictable circumstances though, there's no way that any ship would be forced to keep its shields up so long as to exaust the stored matter without being blown up first.
The SLAGLands
08-04-2004, 08:02
CEO Lockheart read the latest press release from the Xanthalian High Emissary of Talking to Everyone Else with eyebrows low. In front of her gigantic desk stood a woman in a straight black pants suit, her red hair tied back in a bun--Lockheart's secretary, apparently.
"Hmmm... Suzana... so they... don't realize that was a joke," Lockheart said.
"Sure seems that way, ma'am," the secretary replied. "And notice the way the reply was not addressed to you, or the company... but to the whole country?"
"Yeah, no kidding." Vivian held the press release in her right hand, waving it back toward the wall-sized window and Mt. Corral behind her. "I mean, shit, what kind of crazies do they have over there? The guy seems... reckless, volatile, y'know?"
Suzana nods. "The board is ready to convene whenever you are."
Vivian nods and turns back to the snow-capped mountain behind her. "It is a shame, though..." she sighs. "All those people losing jobs... and us losing at least some business..."
"Well, you know the reaction to the Iced Dreams has been more than solid," Suzana adds.
"So it has," Viv replies. "We'll be all right. I know that. We always are." She shakes her head and gazes out into the clouds above the mountain. "Sometimes, ya just gotta lose some money to make some money, Suzie, hon. You'd best remember that."
"I never forget it." Suzana smiled weakly.
~~~~~~~~~~~
The Board of Directors of Granny Slag's Homestyle Confections has agreed, by a vote of 7 aye, 1 nay, 1 abstaining, to withdraw all GSHC holdings from all territories under the rule of the Socialist Republic of Xanthal. All former employees of GSHC Xanthal will receive one year's salary plus benefits as severance pay due to the abruptness of this withdrawal.
On a more personal note, I must say that I'm sorely disappointed in the actions of the current Xanthalian regime. Get these people back to work quickly, and for the love of the Great Camofrog, get them out of the warship factories and missile silos.
Vivian Lockheart
CEO
Granny Slag's Homestyle Confections
<News Report>
In news today, the Khenalian Application Software Specialist-Software Product Advanced Certification and Evaluation team (ASS-SPACE) , a sub-branch of Khenalian Intelligence that monitors foreign use of special technologies for possible integration into the Khenalian military, reviewed the Xanthalian use of transporters to replenish ammunition and decided against integration into the Khenalian Armed Forces as it was, quote, "too damned crazy".
<End News Report>
The SLAGLands:
OOC: I address all my posts this way. That way there's no confusion about who it's to OOC. I don't always address my posts IC unless there's a need for clarification.
IC: We truly regret your latest decision, and while we are not pleased with it we will comply with your decision and shut down our Granny Slag facility. While it is not clear to us why you are "disappointed in the actions of the current Xanthalian regime", we assure you that the employees of our late GS HQ will be reporting to new jobs within the month. We regretfully cannot comply with your request that we remove those citizens currently employed in the manufacturing and maintenance of Xanthalian Military and Armada equipment from their positions. As it stands, approximately 0.1% of Xanthal's working population is employed in those fields, and reducing that percentage would endanger the upkeep of our forces. While the grand total of 1% of our working population employed directly by the Ministry of the Armada and Military and by other ministries in positions directly supporting the Ministry of the Armada and Military may seem somewhat excessive to some, it is considered imperative to our national defense that that number does not fall.
Yours in resignation,
-Christopher Niascichi, Minister of Commerce, Xanthal
OOC: All I can think of is heavy jamming to interfere with transporters.
OOC: Yeah, if you followed around the Military and Armada with jamming devices that would work. I doubt they'd tolerate it very long though. And the Military could always just break out transporter enhancers and laugh at you. The Military lives off of transporter enhancers. When you're in enemy territory you can count on there being jammers/inhibitors. They still need resupply though, and dropshipping everything will lose you a lot of ships really fast. Transporter enhancers are the only solution. The limitation there is that they only clear up a small area unless you've got a lot of them. The Armada has them, but they're not very effective on a stellar scale.