NationStates Jolt Archive

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

*whirring sound is heard*

*Televisions crackle across the world, static giving way to a lone, wizened face whose piecing gaze stares back into the television*


"Ladies and Gentlemen of the world and beyond. Greetings! My name is Dr. Mark Blasto, of the Tarlachian Institute of International Science and Engineering. As you may know, a world-wide, and space-wide extreme drop in national populations has occurred. Now, prepare yourselves for what I am about to tell you...

Are you sitting down? Put that knife down, your dinner will not be there in a moment anyway.

Have you hugged your kids today? How about that pain-in-the-arse creature you are married to?

Ladies and gentlemen, here is a clip of what appears to be the largest black hole to ever exist in the entire universe."

*clip shows hordes of humans being sucked into the crushing, inescapable gravitational force of the black hole*

.........(silence)............

"Well, there you have it, a strange phenomenon I must add. It seems to only be targeting populations, and nothing else. Leaving everything else behind....."

*The man breaks down into tears...*...."WE'RE GOING TO ALL DIE!!!"

*Broadcast is ceased, leaving every television showing the clip of the Black Hole, over and over again*

Note: how does one see a black hole eh?

That kind of is the point of it being a [b]black[/i] hole in space right?
You don't see it?

Only an idiot would fly into one anyway. If you're sitting in space somewhere, and you don't know there's a black hole nearby, and you notice your spaceship is kinda movin' over toward a direction and it's in neutral, you would know that somethin' is wrong, so you'd just fly off.

Getting away from the grasp of a black hole is so easy, it's ridiculous.

Let me tell you what my ASTRONOMY PROFESSOR told us,

"If you're walkin' down the street of Times Square, you don't constantly worry about falling in the Grand Canyon, do ya'? I mean sure, it could happen, but for that to happen, you'd have to go all the way to Arizona, go to the Grand Canyon national park, go to the cliff of the canyon, look down, and say, "I'll just take one more step." and fall off. That's how likely it is to get trapped in a black hole. You've got to be that dumb."

Astronomy is fun. I recommend anyone who messes with space to at least read some material on it.

I know exactly what a black hole is. I've taken astronomy myself. I was merely deliberately altering parts of it just for a laugh.

Next time, do yourself a favor and read carefully what is written. Maybe then, you can see the deliberate actions taken... :roll: