NationStates Jolt Archive


So, you want to be a NS hotshot?

Anonymous Lepers
29-03-2004, 06:20
A Noob’s Advice to Newbies

Well, I’ve been on NS about a month now, so I’ve got the lay of the land pretty good and have learned lots of useful things about how to get lots of great RPing in here and how to get everyone to play with you and get real well-known and powerful in the shortest possible time.

I figured I owe it to my fellow-noobs to help y’all out, because I know how tough it is to break into a group like this and really mosh yourself some cred, frontend, like. Take it from me, these ideas really work. Give ’em a try! You’ll be popular in no time. People will be just lining up to join your RPs. Really!

If you’re an elf-type nation:
Be sure and sashay right up to Menelmacar and poke Sirithil one in the snoot. She’ll appreciate that, knowing that you’ve arrived to set everybody straight on eldarin history, culture, military tactics, etc.

If you’re a demon-type nation:
Start a thread with “ATTN: Melkor” in it, and point out how smackdown tough, evil, superpowered and generally invincible your demon population and its leaders are. He’ll want to join up with you right away. Be sure to get off a few friendly insults to Lord Alkanphel. He likes to be called “elf-bitch.” All in good fun, of course.

If you’re a future-tech nation
Look for RP threads by players like Steel Butterfly, Resi Corporation, Xanthal, etc. Pop right in and introduce yourself and point out how megakewl your tech is and how it can fly, shoot, destroy, spy, etc., rings around anything they’ve got. Don’t worry about the RP in progress, no one will mind the interruption. They’ll be happy to get to know you!

If you’re a space-based nation
Go right ahead and stake a claim on some major part of the Sol system’s real estate—pick a planet, moon, satellite, whatever—and announce you’ve had a huge high-tech colony there for centuries. You’ll get plenty of attention from other space-based and space-expanding nations, right away!

If you’re looking for war RPs
Pick some nation that looks important, and start a thread with their name in it, declaring war on them. Be sure to put in your first post the details of your billion-unit military forces and ultra-advanced nukes and other weapons, so they know you’re serious. Big, experienced, well-established nations here are always looking for new nations to RP wars with, they don’t get nearly enough challenges as it is. They’ll appreciate the attention.

If you’re a Catholic nation
Immediately denounce all other nations as heretics and infidels, especially other Catholic nations. Start a Crusade, or an Inquisition. Name your own Pope, it’s fun! (NS doesn’t have nearly enough Popes.) Other nations with pretensions to Catholicism will be intimidated by your devout fervor and start asking you for advice.

If you’re a “real world” nation
Don’t worry about whether some other player has already established themselves on that particular bit of real world territory; they won’t mind. Expect other NS players to be familiar with your real world nation’s history and past leadership and policies, etc. They’ll be able to jump right in and RP with you, no problem. And don’t worry about establishing any kind of logical continuity between the RL history of your real-world nation, and whatever interesting twists you’ve thought up to add to it here in NS. Nobody really cares about trivia like that.

Having trouble getting other nations to RP with you?
Drop into every possible thread and post something, whether it contributes to the storyline or not. Don’t worry about TGing the player who established the thread, and feel free to ignore those “Closed” or “Semi-open” specifications in the thread titles. Those are just there to keep out bad roleplayers, and of course that can’t include you. Don’t bother to read up on the other participants’ past postings or Factbook entries, you don’t need to know that stuff, it’s a waste of time.

Start dozens of threads at once, full of really unique lead-ins to storylines. You know, stuff no one’s ever done before. Have a leader assassinated, stage a revolution, announce the availability of a fancy new weapon, oppress a minority, invade a neighboring territory and colonize it, and sponsor a sports tournament, all on the same day. If people don’t rush to post on your threads, post a lot more posts complaining about being ignored.

When people RP with you, but you don’t like it
If someone tries to smack you down, accuse them of godmodding. That will intimidate them and most likely they’ll edit their posts to make them more acceptable to you. If people ridicule you for being a clueless n00b, ignore it—it’s just good-natured joshing. These folks have great senses of humor. They really like you.

If people point out inconsistencies in your storylines or nation premise, accuse them of being bad roleplayers. That will make them respect you and post more acceptably on your threads in the future. They will probably even invite you to join their stories!

Whatever you do…
Don’t bother to read a lot of threads and get to know other players’ story lines, histories, and characters—that’s just a waste of time.

Don’t worry about doing story threads to establish your major characters, your nation’s current political and social situation, your kind of government, your policies, current projects, etc. The fact that no one responds to these posts means no one is bothering to read them. There aren’t any nations here that scan such posts and look for intelligent, versatile roleplayers, and welcome their participation later in appropriate threads, even if they don’t bother to reply to every little post you put up. Nuh-uh. None of those. So don’t bother. Get straight on into the Major Events. Starting a war is a great way for people to get to know you! Hardly anybody ever does it!

Don’t thank me, I’m just trying to be helpful.
Diminix
29-03-2004, 06:23
:lol: I like this :P
The Acursed Legion
29-03-2004, 06:27
You are a truely and utterly evil person...
Wonderful! :wink:
Sigma Octavus
29-03-2004, 06:28
But if n00bs actually listen, there's a chance they'll get even worse!

AAAHHH!! :shock:
Tarlachia
29-03-2004, 06:32
oh...you rank up there with....what's the word these days? oh yes...."nice" nations....

*bolts doors, activates alarm system*
Xanthal
29-03-2004, 06:36
It's sad, but it's true. I do love getting to know other space nations, though I prefer if they try to make an IC post that fits with the subject at hand. If they'd rather not, they can always TG me or start a new thread. Xanthal has good diplomatic relations with almost everyone, so you don't need to worry about us biting unless you bite first...
Kryozerkia
29-03-2004, 07:02
This is very well constructed. Good advice.
imported_Christoniac
29-03-2004, 07:03
Bwa ha ha ha ha you're so evil
"Pick some nation that looks important, and start a thread with their name in it, declaring war on them. Be sure to put in your first post the details of your billion-unit military forces and ultra-advanced nukes and other weapons, so they know you’re serious. Big, experienced, well-established nations here are always looking for new nations to RP wars with, they don’t get nearly enough challenges as it is. They’ll appreciate the attention"
That's classic. :D
Sigma Octavus
29-03-2004, 07:06
This is very well constructed. Good advice.

Did you even read it? This encourages them to be n00bs. It is well constructed and funny, tho.
Tarlachia
29-03-2004, 07:08
This is very well constructed. Good advice.

Did you even read it? This encourages them to be n00bs. It is well constructed and funny, tho.

Indeed....gotta love the creativity of the mind when it's bored eh? lol :lol:
Patoxia
29-03-2004, 07:13
:lol: LOL!

Great post!
Kryozerkia
29-03-2004, 07:14
This is very well constructed. Good advice.

Did you even read it? This encourages them to be n00bs. It is well constructed and funny, tho.

I know, which is why it was good. It told them EXACTLY what to do.
CommunismRevisited-
29-03-2004, 07:22
This is an amazing post. I recommend this for the archives.

Its so true though. 2 week old nations with nukes. Biological weapons. Ect, ect, ect.

I love going to the Nationstates thread and noticing 3 seprate threads of small nations declaring war on a nation with a population well into 1.5 billion.
Vrak
29-03-2004, 07:34
OOC: I love the sarcasm AL. All good but I especially like this one:

Start dozens of threads at once, full of really unique lead-ins to storylines. You know, stuff no one’s ever done before. Have a leader assassinated, stage a revolution, announce the availability of a fancy new weapon, oppress a minority, invade a neighboring territory and colonize it, and sponsor a sports tournament, all on the same day. If people don’t rush to post on your threads, post a lot more posts complaining about being ignored.
Glorious Humanity
29-03-2004, 07:39
If you’re an elf-type nation:
Be sure and sashay right up to Menelmacar and poke Sirithil one in the snoot. She’ll appreciate that, knowing that you’ve arrived to set everybody straight on eldarin history, culture, military tactics, etc.

*falls out of chair laughing* Alright, where's Siri to give her Elfsnuggle of Approval to this thing? This is classic stuff here.
Tarlachia
29-03-2004, 07:41
If you’re an elf-type nation:
Be sure and sashay right up to Menelmacar and poke Sirithil one in the snoot. She’ll appreciate that, knowing that you’ve arrived to set everybody straight on eldarin history, culture, military tactics, etc.

*falls out of chair laughing* Alright, where's Siri to give her Elfsnuggle of Approval to this thing? This is classic stuff here.

I only know Siri a little bit (from the chats on MIRC) but something tells me that this is a ....

great idea??

LMAO
Menelmacar
29-03-2004, 07:53
Hilarious!

Yes, this definitely gets the Elfsnuggle of Approval!

~Siri
Kazar-Tiyon
29-03-2004, 08:03
Another piece of advise... have your leader challenge others, especially mine, to a duel. This will get you a lot of respect very fast, as you're certain to easily win....
-Kazar-Tiyon, slayer of the hero Jha'al-ze, ancient force of evil and destruction.
Aldaran of the Hellers
29-03-2004, 08:19
Be sure to get off a few friendly insults to Lord Alkanphel. He likes to be called “elf-bitch.”

:shock:

Really?

Who knew!?

::heading right on over to Melkor Unchained::

not
Arenumberg
29-03-2004, 08:36
ROFL..

But wait... dont n00bs do all this already!?
Belem
29-03-2004, 08:58
I like your style AL and im intrigued by your theories. I would like to subscribe to your weekly newsletter.
Kay Son
29-03-2004, 09:08
thanks for the help. :D :lol: :)
Russian Forces
29-03-2004, 09:10
Already am one. Though your theories are ethically wrong, they work.
Roania
29-03-2004, 10:29
AL,

you forgot.

Always start a new religion and try to convert people! A world can never have enough religions!

(I've been bored lately)
Russian Forces
29-03-2004, 10:30
Also rally a political group.
Dread Lady Nathicana
29-03-2004, 10:43
And pictures. Don't forget to post lots and lots of pictures. The bigger the better. Just to make sure you've really grabbed their attention. If you really want to stretch, add a quick one-liner to it, thus decribing the amazing rp you've just depicted.

Big pictures of tanks and guns and troops and OMG VIOLENZ = teh WIN!
Aelosia
29-03-2004, 10:51
Well, as I belong to the first group I guess, I can't make a critic...Although in the beginning I was more or less an Anti-Sirithilist Elven Nation (don't laugh, those exist, for a while of course), until she was almost the only person who participated in my Civil War Thread (not a very original idea, anyway).

But well, that was hilarious... :D
Roania
29-03-2004, 10:56
Well, as I belong to the first group I guess, I can't make a critic...Although in the beginning I was more or less an Anti-Sirithilist Elven Nation (don't laugh, those exist, for a while of course), until she was almost the only person who participated in my Civil War Thread (not a very original idea, anyway).

But well, that was hilarious... :D

YOU... were an Anti-Sirilist nation? Really? God... that's as laughable as the idea of me joining up with Melkor!

......

HA. HA.

(Waits for other people to start laughing)

(Nothing)

Look, I made one mistake. Way, way back when. In August, even. Not something I'd do again.
Santa Barbara
29-03-2004, 16:47
Great, I love it!

...what sarcasm?
Cyberutopia
19-05-2004, 04:10
Just dug this up while snooping around, and this is absolutely great! I actually thought you were serious until the part about Melkor. That was a relief, I thought he was mad at me for me calling him "elf-bitch!" Now I know he was just joshing me when he began to crush my trachea. Phew. :D

*rubs throat*

Anyway, good job. Anyone who actually listens to this is certainly in for a suprise!
Sketch
19-05-2004, 04:33
WN's got some competition..... :wink:
Monte Ozarka
19-05-2004, 05:37
Very nice! It gets my stamp of approval! *stamp*
Googlewoop
19-05-2004, 07:09
Good God, that's some funny stuuf there!

n00bs may be looking up!

:D :roll: