Roycelandia
28-03-2004, 14:53
Dateline: Port Royal, Roycelandia
As part of his "Making Everyone's Life Easier" programme, his Imperial Majesty Emperor Royce I today officially lowered Roycelandia's Drinking Age, Smoking Age, Age of Consent, and Pornographic Viewing Age.
Henceforth, the Age of Consent for females has been lowered to 14.
"Let's face it" His Majesty said today "Most 14 year old girls dress like prostitutes and are having sex anyway. The Police really have better things to do with their time than prosecute everyone who has sex with a young girl, especially if she wants it."
The homosexual male age of consent remains at 16, and there is no age of consent for Lesbian Sex (The Emperor is rather fond of Lesbians, according to certain Imperial Palace staff and friends).
Similarly, the Pornographic Viewing Age has been lowered to 14.
"Hey, I was watching Porno films at 14" His Majesty admitted to the crowd gathered to hear the Imperial Proclamation. "So was every other kid I know. It never did us any harm, and so I hereby decree that Hardcore Pornographic Material shall be available to all persons aged over 14- regardless of race or sex."
The Drinking Age has been lowered to 15- "Everyone loves a good drink, and I was drinking at 15. If we remove the 'forbidden fruit' element, then by the time these kids reach 18, its not an issue anymore. Besides, Alcohol is tasty, social, and refreshing. Not to mention very lucrative, tax-wise" His Majesty explained this morning.
The Smoking age has also been lowered to 15, on the grounds that "If you can drink alcohol, you should be able to smoke, if you so please. I am a life-long Non-Smoker, but I respect that others wish to exercise their right to inhale nicotine. Besides, the taxes you pay on smokes enable the rest of us to have free Healthcare, free University Education, among other things" His Majesty continued. An Anti-Smoking Campaigner was arrested before he could voice his objections, although was later released without charge after His Majesty had finished reading the Proclamation.
The Voting Age remains at 17, and the Arms Acquisiton Age remains at 12 with Parental Consent, or 14 without.
His Majesty was quick to remind would-be "Perverts and sickos" that Rape is still a serious crime in Roycelandia, and sex without consent is still a criminal offence, regardless of whether the victim is 13 or 30.
As always, this latest Imperial Proclamation also applies to Roycelandia's Colonial Overseas Territories, namely Roycelandian East Africa and Coral Palm Island.
Enquiries may be directed to the Imperial Enquiries Department, Imperial Palace, Port Royal, Roycelandia, or your nearest Roycelandian Embassy or Consulate.
As part of his "Making Everyone's Life Easier" programme, his Imperial Majesty Emperor Royce I today officially lowered Roycelandia's Drinking Age, Smoking Age, Age of Consent, and Pornographic Viewing Age.
Henceforth, the Age of Consent for females has been lowered to 14.
"Let's face it" His Majesty said today "Most 14 year old girls dress like prostitutes and are having sex anyway. The Police really have better things to do with their time than prosecute everyone who has sex with a young girl, especially if she wants it."
The homosexual male age of consent remains at 16, and there is no age of consent for Lesbian Sex (The Emperor is rather fond of Lesbians, according to certain Imperial Palace staff and friends).
Similarly, the Pornographic Viewing Age has been lowered to 14.
"Hey, I was watching Porno films at 14" His Majesty admitted to the crowd gathered to hear the Imperial Proclamation. "So was every other kid I know. It never did us any harm, and so I hereby decree that Hardcore Pornographic Material shall be available to all persons aged over 14- regardless of race or sex."
The Drinking Age has been lowered to 15- "Everyone loves a good drink, and I was drinking at 15. If we remove the 'forbidden fruit' element, then by the time these kids reach 18, its not an issue anymore. Besides, Alcohol is tasty, social, and refreshing. Not to mention very lucrative, tax-wise" His Majesty explained this morning.
The Smoking age has also been lowered to 15, on the grounds that "If you can drink alcohol, you should be able to smoke, if you so please. I am a life-long Non-Smoker, but I respect that others wish to exercise their right to inhale nicotine. Besides, the taxes you pay on smokes enable the rest of us to have free Healthcare, free University Education, among other things" His Majesty continued. An Anti-Smoking Campaigner was arrested before he could voice his objections, although was later released without charge after His Majesty had finished reading the Proclamation.
The Voting Age remains at 17, and the Arms Acquisiton Age remains at 12 with Parental Consent, or 14 without.
His Majesty was quick to remind would-be "Perverts and sickos" that Rape is still a serious crime in Roycelandia, and sex without consent is still a criminal offence, regardless of whether the victim is 13 or 30.
As always, this latest Imperial Proclamation also applies to Roycelandia's Colonial Overseas Territories, namely Roycelandian East Africa and Coral Palm Island.
Enquiries may be directed to the Imperial Enquiries Department, Imperial Palace, Port Royal, Roycelandia, or your nearest Roycelandian Embassy or Consulate.